People Lie
by Nugar
Summary: Lies have power. They can change a simple-minded believer into a two-faced schemer and a timid follower into a fanatical devotee. They can change a child angry at the world into a man consumed by more than vengeance. But that power is a lie as well.
1. People Lie: one

People Lie

Everyone in the class turned to look as the door slid open. Even Shikamaru, who had gotten pretty good at impromptu naps over the past several years, hadn't had time to fade out for his morning 'me time'.

Naruto Uzumaki walked in, almost an hour late.

"Naruto! You're…" Iruka trailed off. "Late," he finished lamely.

Naruto paused on the way to his desk, visibly struggling for a moment before offering up a weak smile and an insincere 'sorry'.

He looked like hell. Leaves in his hair, dark circles under his eyes, dirt on his clothes, and dried blood here and there. He sat in his seat with none of his usual energy and propped his head up in his hands.

It was far from the first time he'd ever been late to class. There had been days where he'd never shown up at all. But it was the first time he'd shown up to class looking like someone had systematically beaten the crap out of him. Usually he was, if not stylish, at least clean and well groomed. No one could ever really be considered stylish wearing outlandish orange pants and a white t-shirt, often with an orange jacket thrown over it.

"Ah, I assume you have a good reason for being late?" Iruka hazarded. Naruto was great at making up unusual excuses, usually just to get a laugh from the class and a thrown bit of chalk from Iruka or Mizuki. Today, whatever Naruto said had happened, Iruka was prepared to believe him.

Naruto seemed slightly taken aback by the question, like it hadn't occurred to him. "Huh?" he said cleverly.

Iruka walked closer, real concern creeping into his voice. "Naruto? Are you alright? I asked if you had a good reason for being late."

Naruto considered it quietly, his eyes wandering away from Iruka's like he felt guilty about something. Finally, he sighed.

"No. No, I don't have a good reason."

Iruka wasn't sure, but it sounded like that depressed him.

Several of his classmates looked at him in concern, just as shocked by that as Iruka.

"Well, uh, okay. We were discussing the techniques for coded messages, Naruto. If you don't understand, be sure and ask me after class, okay?"

Naruto nodded tiredly, then, over the course of the next thirty minutes, quietly faded into a haze.

o/

Days passed, as they usually do. Today was a Tuesday, which meant a lecture day. Two hours of lectures in the morning, two hours of ninja equipment, lunch, then another three hours of lecture, followed by an hour of stealth.

Hinata didn't like Tuesdays.

Tuesdays were kind of sad, because Naruto didn't seem to do very good on Tuesdays, or really, any lecture day. All that energy, all that drive that he showed in everything else he did, just disappeared. Sometimes there'd be little flashes, funny comments Naruto would make.

But they were rare. Getting rarer. Since the day he'd shown up late, looking tired and injured, Naruto hadn't been himself. He didn't joke like he used to, didn't play pranks like he used to, and after school, every time Hinata had followed him, he'd gone out to a training ground and beaten himself senseless against the target poles. Naruto trained pretty often, but never like that.

Today, he hadn't even laughed with the rest of the class when Komiko got her wires tangled and her kunai toss pulled a snarl of wire and kunai halfway across the hall. Though, he had at least looked pretty alert when it came to his turn, and Hinata secretly cheered when he'd managed to wrap the wire attached to the handle of his kunai around the wooden beam and thunked it securely into the target on just the third try. He hadn't eaten lunch, apparently because he didn't have any, and Hinata was tempted to offer him some of hers, but he'd sat off by himself like he didn't want to talk to anyone and she'd been afraid to approach him. And now, now he was asleep. And Iruka, who'd been pretty considerate about Naruto for the most part, had lost patience in the middle of his lecture on the uses of chakra absorbing ink.

So he threw an eraser at him, bouncing it with the accuracy of long practice off the boy's head.

Naruto, who had been well and truly asleep, jerked awake with a snort, much to the laughter of the class. "Huh? Wazzat?"

"So glad you could join us, Naruto," Iruka said irritatedly. "I asked you a question."

Naruto blinked sleepily and rubbed his eyes, looking around. "Sorry, I didn't hear it. Could you, uh, repeat the question?"

More snickers came from here and there.

"I asked you what the character on the board was, Naruto."

Naruto squinted at the board and scratched himself. "Ah, looks like a tora."

Iruka nodded, surprised. Maybe Naruto had paid a little attention. But he still shouldn't be sleeping in class, no matter how tired he was, so Iruka decided to ask something a little more difficult.

"So, what's it used for?"

"Adding a fire element to a seal," he replied, yawning behind a hand. Abruptly he sat bolt upright and looked around, surprise on his face.

Iruka looked at him like he'd grown a second head. For that matter, so did Sakura, the only other person there who'd known that, and that was because she'd read ahead in their textbook. Hinata just stared.

"Uh, yeah," Naruto added lamely.

Giving him a look, Iruka nodded. "Yes, that's right, Naruto. It is a fire element character, something you might add to an explosive note if you want flame in addition to concussion." Iruka paused. "See me after school, Naruto."

"Aww, man," Naruto complained, much to the amusement of the class.

o/

"Yo, Iruka-sensei!" Naruto yelled as the class dispersed, stealth training with Mizuki and Iruka over for the day. "I'm kinda busy, so could you just yell at me here so I can get going? I got plans."

"Just what kind of plans?"

"I got a bucket of permanent dye and a shop keeper who really has it com-err, nothing?" Naruto said with an embarrassed chuckle.

Iruka raised one eyebrow. "Well, it'll have to wait. I want to show you something."

"Aww, man, school is OVER, Iruka-sensei. I haven't done anything to deserve detention." He paused. "Today."

"Just come with me, Naruto."

They went back into the school, to the small office Iruka shared with Mizuki and another chunin instructor. Unlocking a drawer with a small key, Iruka pulled out a thick notebook, his grade notebook, then gave Naruto a warning look when he saw the boy's eyes widen. "This isn't where I usually keep it, and even if you do manage to find it, if you touch it, I will personally break both of your arms."

"I'm shocked! Simply shocked that you don't trust me, Iruka-sensei! I would never dream of cheating!" Naruto proclaimed, all wounded dignity.

"I'm serious, Naruto, I will break your arms in three places and cover you in itching powder."

"I'll be good," he replied meekly. "I really only thought that Kiba needed to be held back a year, anyway."

Iruka's stern expression relaxed. "Now, before I open this, who is the worst student in class?"

"I'm sorry, alright? It's just your lessons are BORING. How can you expect me to pay attention when you just drone on and on..." Seeing the look on his teacher's face, Naruto trailed off.

Iruka looked at him for a moment, then opened the book with a ribbon bookmark. Finding Naruto's name, he held it up so the kid could see and tapped it with his finger. "Do you see these scores, Naruto?"

"I was...," Naruto paused, thought for a moment, then shrugged. "What about it?"

Iruka blinked. "Naruto, your grades are all over the place. Yeah, there are some bad scores, but some of them are really good."

He shrugged again. "I study when things interest me."

Iruka paused, thinking. "Yes, that may well be true. I know you like taijutsu better than history. But, your grades really are all over the place. I'd expect your taijutsu to be always better than your knowledge of seals. Instead, six months ago, you scored near the top of the class on seals."

Naruto looked like he'd bitten into something sour. "How was I supposed to know that everyone in the class was going to suck on that test?"

"And then your grades dropped to the very bottom of the class. Way below what I know you're capable of."

"How do you know what I'm capable of?"

Iruka nodded. "That's it, I don't. But I have a feeling that you do. And I think you're lying to me."

Abruptly, Naruto's face blossomed into a grin. "Iruka-sensei, why would I lie to you?"

"I don't know. At first I didn't know what to think. Maybe you're a plant from another village?"

"Sensei, you must be confused," he said, patting his teacher on the shoulder. "I'm people, not a plant."

Iruka closed his eyes in irritation. "Yeah, I know you're not a plant." He paused. "Or from another village. But I wish you'd be honest with me. You're not the worst student in class. You could even be one of the best. But you're deliberately not trying, and," Iruka's voice rose, "you're only hurting yourself!" Iruka grabbed his shirt in both hands. "Can't you see? You're eleven years old! Academy students have to graduate by thirteen, and you've only got two more years to learn the things you HAVE to know! Maybe you have a reason to not try, I don't know, but you say you want to be a shinobi! You can't do that without graduating the academy! And at the rate you're going, you're going to fail!"

Naruto's stomach growled and he gave an embarrassed chuckle, scratching the back of his head. "Sorry, Iruka-sensei."

But he didn't say what he was sorry for.

Iruka stared at him, then sighed. "Come on, Naruto. I'll buy you dinner."

Naruto brightened. "Really? Thanks!"

"Under one condition. You have to try."

Then, for one moment, Iruka swore he saw the real Naruto, looking cold and serious.

"I am trying, Iruka-sensei. I get it wrong sometimes, but I am trying."

o/

Once, when Naruto was younger, he made a mistake. He trusted someone.

That someone was talking to a pretty little pink haired girl that Naruto wanted to be friends with. So Naruto had talked to the both for a while. Then the girl's mother had shown up and taken her home. Disappointed, the man had talked to Naruto for a while. Then he'd taken Naruto home.

It was that night before an ANBU realized he was missing. He searched for the boy for a while. Then he alerted other ANBU, and they searched for the boy. Then the Hokage was informed, and lots of people searched for the boy.

This went on over about a week.

Then the boy staggered out of the forest in front of a traveling couple, crying, covered in blood, and was turned over to ANBU and the doctors.

Though he was crying, when asked what had happened, his voice didn't waver. He gave clear, concise details. Then the doctors gave him something that put him into a nightmare filled sleep that lasted two days. He woke up screaming.

There was a time of jumbled images and voices, with people talking to him, at him, and around him. It was all very confusing.

Then they had carried him to a big building and asked him to look at a man in a cell. It was someone he'd trusted. He told them so.

They all looked really mad and mean, and he'd started to get upset, but the Hokage had hugged him, told him he was very brave, and turned to a big man dressed all in black wearing a funny cloth over his head.

Naruto could still remember exactly what the old man had said.

"Ibiki, make sure he regrets it."

Naruto had asked some questions, as they were leading him away, and at some length, as they were exiting the building, he'd understood. They were going to hurt the man he'd trusted.

Naruto wanted to watch.

Everyone, who'd been all smiles and jokes at that point, though Naruto could tell they didn't really mean it, got real quiet and mad.

Naruto had apologized for making them mad, and they'd assured him that they weren't mad at him.

So, if they weren't mad at him, Naruto wanted to know if he could stay and watch. The Hokage had tried to talk him out of it. Someone else liked the idea. They argued. Naruto argued. Naruto insisted.

And, at some length, he'd been introduced to the scary looking man with the black rag on his head.

Ibiki.

Ibiki was big and scary looking with marks on his face.

Ibiki had tried to convince him he really didn't want to see what was going to happen. It was going to be scary and gross.

Naruto didn't mind that. He'd done scary and gross things before. Recently. And it wouldn't be happening to him.

Ibiki had said it would be loud.

Naruto had insisted he wouldn't mind, of course. He really did want to see.

And Ibiki had agreed. And smiled.

A lot of people left looking mad at Ibiki. Some left looking sick.

Ibiki gave Naruto a stool in the corner. He didn't look mad, or sick. He looked pleased.

Naruto decided he liked Ibiki, even though he looked scary.

The man in the cell didn't like Ibiki at all.

o/

Naruto decided he liked Iruka. The ramen he'd bought him for dinner was just about the best thing ever.

"So, Naruto, you've never talked about it, but what is your goal? Why do you want to be a shinobi?"

Naruto shrugged. "I dunno. Just seems like a good idea."

"Liar," Iruka said without hesitation, then realized Naruto was pulling his chain.

Naruto grinned. "There's something I want to do. But I won't tell just anyone."

"Come on, Naruto. What is it with you? I've finally decided that you just don't trust anyone, and that's why you're always lying."

He slurped more ramen and waved to the owner. Ichiraku ramen. This stuff was pretty damned good. Not very close to his apartment, but worth the walk.

"Why don't you trust anyone?" Iruka pressed.

Naruto stopped for a second, looked at him, looked away. "People lie," he said after a moment.

After a little while, he looked back. Iruka was staring at him with a sad look on his face. It made Naruto uncomfortable. He looked away again.

"Yes, people do lie," Iruka said finally. "You can't trust everyone."

Naruto snorted.

"No!" Iruka said, grabbing Naruto's arm. "You can't trust everyone. But you have to trust someone."

Naruto looked at the hand on his arm, but Iruka didn't remove it.

"I'm serious, Naruto. Don't you trust your friends?"

"I don't have any friends."

Iruka blinked, and finally released his arm. "But, what about your classmates?"

Naruto snorted in contempt. And then he noticed Iruka was giving him that look again.

That sad look, like he was seeing something Naruto didn't. Naruto had only ever seen one person look like that before.

"Stop."

"Stop what?"

"Stop looking at me like that. The Hokage looks like that sometimes, and I can't stand it."

Iruka nodded slowly. "I suppose he would look at you like that, because he knows."

Naruto looked angry for a moment. "Knows what? He never says what he means, just stands there and gives me that damned look. What?! What does he know that you know that I don't know?"

"How important friends are."

Naruto looked like he'd been slapped.

"Ibiki said that," he whispered. Then he got up, politely thanked Iruka and the old man behind the counter for the meal, and got the hell out of there.

o/

When Naruto first met Ibiki, they spent the whole day together. Naruto asked questions, Ibiki provided answers, and the man in the cell got very nervous. Then Ibiki did a few things, and the man screamed for a while. Ibiki watched Naruto more than he paid attention to the man.

Naruto's attention was on everything.

When Naruto's stomach growled, Ibiki took him out to a nearby restaurant and bought him dinner. They both ate well, and the waitress praised Naruto's appetite, told him he was cute but 'too serious' and asked some questions. Naruto answered at first, but then Ibiki told him he shouldn't tell people some things, that he liked this restaurant, and the waitress would be scared by what had been done to the man.

Naruto paused, thought about it for a bit, then asked what she would think about what had been done to him.

Ibiki told him that if she knew that, she'd cry and probably not sleep well.

Naruto agreed that he didn't want to make her cry, since she was so nice, and he wouldn't tell her.

Ibiki told him that was the right thing to do, that it was usually best not to tell people anything more than they needed to know, and asked if he was tired of watching.

Naruto shook his head.

So they went back to the building with the cell with the man in it. Around midnight, Ibiki draped his coat around Naruto and carried him to a couch in his office.

The man in the cell didn't get any sleep that night.

Naruto had the best night's sleep ever.

o/

For nearly a month, Naruto didn't sleep much. At first he'd tried, laying down, prepared to sleep, then tossing and turning for a few hours before giving up and reading scrolls and books for most of the night. He took to training, hard physical training all throughout the Konoha training grounds as a way of exhausting himself, but that just meant he was extra tired while he lay in bed awake.

The thing was, he had the answer, now. Ibiki-san hadn't given it to him. The Hokage had mentioned it. And Iruka had come right out and told him.

But it still didn't make any damned sense.

Yeah, okay, having skilled team members supporting you meant you could take on more powerful enemies and win. He could see that. But what would it matter if they were friends or not? Shinobi were tools. If Naruto was told to work with someone to complete a job, he would damned well give it everything he had.

But friends? No one wanted to be friends with Naruto. They hadn't ever. Ibiki was the first person to ever look at him with approval. There were a couple other adults who seemed to like him and treated him like an adult. Naruto understood that sort of behavior. None of them were friends, but they made some great role models, something the Hokage had explained once.

But friends? Among people his own age? They were immature. They were irrational, for crying out loud. They did things that made no damned sense whatsoever. Most of the girls in class fawned over that Uchiha, when he clearly did not like them, and made complete fools of themselves. Most of the boys either spent their time in pointless pissing contests, or absorbed in weird little obsessions of their own.

Only the Uchiha, Sasuke, made any sort of sense at all to Naruto, but he was such a showoff it kind of irritated him. What kind of idiot demonstrates his skills to their fullest and draws attention to himself?

Naruto might, just might, could handle being friends with some of the students, except for one thing.

They made lousy friends. He'd overheard girls spreading lies and rumors about their supposed 'friends' behind their backs. The boys would follow some obscure schedule of their own, best friends one day, bitter enemies the next.

Who in the hell would want people like that at his back?

Yet, people he respected told him it was important. So it probably was. He just didn't understand it. None of the books he'd read on it had yielded anything useful. Apparently, this was yet another thing he couldn't learn by himself by reading about it.

What a pain in the ass.

After some thought, and being sorely tempted to go ask Ibiki, though afraid of what the man might say after the disastrous confrontation last time, he concluded that he didn't understand people yet. He knew how to tell when they lied, he knew how to read the signals they gave off when in distress, and how to predict their actions, but, going over his lessons in his head, he concluded that nothing applied, because now he was trying to deal with people in their everyday lives.

So, if he had the answer and it didn't make any sense, he clearly needed to learn more about the problem.

He needed to gather intel.

o/

Iruka pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to fend off the onrushing headache as he stared at the embarrassed looking boy giving him a pleading look.

The irate looking chunin kunoichi holding a kunai gave him an expectant one. "So you're the one who gave him the homework assignment of watching me bathe?" she asked, clearly skeptical, but also clearly willing to gut the party responsible, as soon as she figured out who it was.

Pinching his nose wasn't working. Iruka sighed. Naruto hadn't been the same since their little chat over ramen, though his grades had improved, marginally, and he'd started clowning around in class again, but Iruka, who watched him a lot more closely now, could tell his heart wasn't in it.

And now this. At least the kid was showing some initiative, albeit of the perverted kind. Iruka had to admit, he had good taste. The kunoichi was stacked.

"Come on, all you have to admit is that you never gave him any such assignment and I can get on with carving him into cutlets."

Ah, well, time to save the kid's hide.

"No, it wasn't my idea for Naruto to watch you bathe."

The kunoichi smirked and turned towards Naruto, who, Iruka was somewhat alarmed to note, had murder in his eyes for an instant. But no matter.

"The assignment was to practice following a ninja throughout their daily routine," Iruka continued smoothly, not giving either a chance to interrupt. "He was supposed to pick a fresh genin, someone with a non combat specialty, someone that a student like him would have a good chance of observing without being seen. Not a chunin."

For a moment, the chunin looked crestfallen, then turned back to Iruka in anger. Iruka held up his hands placatingly, noticing as he did so the look of relief, and something else on Naruto's face.

"I suppose I should have been more specific about who he followed and allowing private time. I'll make a male to male rule next time. I'm training shinobi, not peepers, I swear!"

She glared at him. "Well you can't prove it by me. The little bastard is lucky I didn't just kill him first and ask questions later."

"Naruto…" Iruka began.

"I wasn't trying to see her naked, I just wanted to catch any conversations she had in the bathhouse! People talk to each other all the time, and I didn't want to miss anything."

"But why did you pick a chunin of all people?" This, Iruka was genuinely curious about.

"Cause I thought I could."

Ah. Apparently, he did have some pride in his skills, for all that he carefully avoided seeming competent in class.

Iruka gave an embarrassed chuckle of his own to the woman. "I'm really sorry, Naruto is one of my best students and I've encouraged him to challenge himself, but I had no idea he would do something like this."

The chunin shook her head for a moment, then shrugged. "Well, okay, brat, you're off the hook for now. But if you perv on me again, I'm gonna cut your balls off, okay?" Seeing Naruto's frantic nod, she laughed quietly, then leaned in close to Iruka. "The really embarrassing thing is, I almost didn't catch him. You're going to need to keep an eye on this one."

Dumbfounded, Iruka managed to murmur something appropriate, and the young woman left, putting a distinct sway to her walk. He and Naruto watched in surprise.

Finally, Naruto turned to him.

Iruka raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, that one, I didn't see coming," he admitted.

Iruka stared for a few more moments. Finally, he said, "A chunin?"

"She barely paid any attention to her surroundings, and people treat her different. I was curious." He frowned. "Apparently, girls' situational awareness increase when they're in the bath. Strange."

Iruka laughed. "No, Naruto, not strange, once you understand why."

Naruto frowned deeper, with a look of such concentration on his face Iruka wondered if this really was the same troublemaking student he'd dealt with for the past two years.

"Then what is the reason?"

Iruka opened his mouth… then shut it again, a twinkle in his eye. This was a student he wouldn't mind teaching. "Well," he drawled, "there are a lot of reasons, but they all boil down to one main principle." He paused for a bit, working out what he was going to say in his head.

"Well?" Naruto asked intently.

"Ah, well, the basic idea is that some men like to spy on women whenever they're naked. So women have learned to be more watchful during those times."

Naruto nodded slowly. "That explains it," he said slowly.

"Ah, but does it?" Iruka replied.

"…No, not completely." He nodded again, more firmly. "I see your point."

"There's also the privacy issue, no one likes to be spied on in their private moments," he added.

"But this is a ninja village," Naruto protested suddenly. "We're watched all the time."

Iruka smiled gently, started to pat the kid on the shoulder, then thought better of it. "Naruto, that just makes us value the privacy we have all the more."

"So privacy is that important."

"Yes, it is. Like the way you play the fool in class, so that the other students won't notice the real you." He paused, considering. "You're probably the most private person I know."

Naruto took a moment to digest that, but Iruka pressed on.

"So have you thought any more about friends?"

His expression hardened. "Yes. But I still don't understand it. A friend is more than an ally, right? Someone who you can trust and rely on, who you have a close relationship with. But I'm not blind or deaf. I see these people around me who claim to be friends, then turn around and fight with each other, or spread lies about each other in secret. What the hell?"

Poor kid, Iruka thought. What happened that broke him inside? This time he did put his hand on Naruto's shoulder, ignoring the almost imperceptible flinch it brought. "Well, not everyone who claims to be a friend is. You probably know that better than most. But some are, and just because two people argue or hurt each other doesn't mean they don't care about each other. And when you find someone who does become a true friend, you'll understand what I mean."

Naruto shrugged. "So, in order to understand it, I have to experience it." He sighed. "And apparently, people say one thing, and honestly believe it," he said ironically, "but they do something else. Is a little consistency too damned much to ask?"

Iruka winced, then chuckled. "Yes, Naruto. When you're dealing with people, it really is."

o/

Another two weeks passed. Naruto's class performance remained the same, getting quite a bit of frustration out of Iruka. He spoke with him several times after school, and Naruto had dropped all pretense of not being smart as hell around Iruka, but when he was in class, it was snores, goofy comments, and pranking that seemed mischievous to everyone but Iruka, who was really beginning to understand just how afraid of people Naruto was.

He brought it up to Mizuki, his fellow teacher for the group. At first Mizuki didn't want to believe him, but a quiet word with Naruto about some one on one advanced techniques had tempted the boy into a secret late night class with he and Mizuki. After seeing Naruto unleash some of his best on Iruka, Mizuki had to admit that his reputation was a complete fake, though he scoffed at the notion that Naruto was still holding back. And he still didn't offer any useful advice on how to get Naruto to try in class.

So, one day, he decided to take it up the chain.

All the way to the top.

Naruto had mentioned talking to the Hokage before, which didn't really surprise Iruka. He'd never lived in any other village, but he'd heard stories, and he understood just how incredible it was that the Sandaime seemed to take a deep and personal interest in every person in the village. Keeping a closer eye on Naruto, given the boy's secrets and hidden abilities, was something he would do.

So he made an appointment. It only took two days before he found himself in the Hokage's office exchanging brief pleasantries.

"So I understand that you have some concerns about Naruto Uzumaki," the Hokage said after the preamble. "I know he has quite the reputation as the trickster, is he making trouble again?"

Iruka shook his head. "I'm not here to complain about Naruto, Hokage-sama. I'm actually quite concerned about him. He's very bright, and, despite his grades, seems to be well ahead of most of the rest of the class. I actually don't know how smart he is, because he refuses to show it, though he doesn't fake being stupid with me anymore. I know he could be one of the best students in the class, if he'd just try, but no matter what I say, he won't." Iruka took a moment to calm himself down, his voice was rising, and he did not want to shout at the Hokage, no matter how frustrated he was.

Sarutobi nodded, tapping his fingers thoughtfully. "I see. It's encouraging to meet a teacher who sees past the façade that Naruto has created, and who doesn't blame him for it. As I'm sure you know, there are plenty in the village who bear animosity towards the boy due to what he contains. Why do you think he puts up such a front?"

"From things he's said and my own observations, I think he's holding back so that his classmates will underestimate him, and he's put an incredible amount of work into it. And it's working. I've asked a few of his classmates what they think of him, and the general opinion is that he's funny sometimes, but not very bright, and he'll never amount to much. Just from one real conversation with him, I can tell that he's serious to a fault and smarter that most, if not all, of his classmates. Just maintaining his attitude of a clown would take a focus very few people could ever keep up for that length of time." Iruka shrugged helplessly. "It would be a very valuable skill if he used it against an enemy village, but these are his peers! These are the people who should be his friends, yet he treats them like an enemy he's preparing to fight."

The Hokage nodded. "Yes, that's it, exactly. Though, from what I have seen of Naruto myself, I would say 'fight' is too soft a word. Naruto is preparing himself to destroy all his enemies."

Iruka paled. "But, does that mean that the Kyubi…"

Sarutobi shook his head swiftly. "No, you can rest assured on that. The seal holds fine, and the beast sleeps within him. No, what we're dealing with here is a demon of our own making." His eyes looked sad.

"But, I don't understand, Hokage-sama," Iruka protested. "I can see that someone must have hurt him in the past, you don't get like that with a healthy childhood, but to call him a demon-"

He waved a hand placatingly. "True, Iruka, the boy is not a demon. Naruto is actually very moral, and cares about other people more than he realizes, I think. But, due to a mistake on our part when he was young, he was hurt, and hurt badly. And," he continued, his voice heavy with regret, "due to my own guilt I may have compounded the issue by allowing something against my better judgment."

"Hokage-sama," Iruka replied, then trailed off.

The Hokage shook his head. "No, this is not my story to tell. In a way, I gave up that right. But there is a reason Naruto only trusts a few people."

Surprise and relief flitted across Iruka's face. "So he does trust someone? That's a huge relief, because the main reason I came here was because he doesn't seem to have any friends. Actually, it'd be more true to say that he doesn't understand what it means to have a friend. He's asked several questions about that, and once mentioned something you had told him."

"Yes, Naruto doesn't have much of a knack for making friends. He doesn't let himself trust easily, but, fortunately, he does have his supporters in the village. Not many people know this, but there are a number of ANBU who are quite fond of the boy."

Iruka's eyebrows raised. "ANBU? But why?"

He was rewarded by a piercing look from the old man. "Yes, I'd intended to tell you, since you do have Naruto's best interests at heart. You're a good man, Iruka. One of Konoha's finest."

His ears tinged pink at the compliment.

"After the trauma that happened to him when he was six, Naruto ended up spending some time at ANBU headquarters by his own insistence. I didn't have the heart to tell him no, though I should have. While he was there… Well, I'll let Morino Ibiki tell the rest. He's the closest thing to a father Naruto has."

Iruka's flush of pleasure turned white.

Morino Ibiki. Hardly the most well known ninja in Konoha. But, among the shinobi, he was known, more so than almost any other ANBU. He was feared, and justly so, for being the most brutally effective interrogator and torturer in the country of Fire.

And Naruto saw him as a father?

"Morino Ibiki?" Iruka squeaked. "How in the f-"

"Not just Ibiki, but several current and former ANBU are as close to being friends with Naruto as it is possible for them. In a way, you could think of them as fond older cousins he doesn't see very often."

Iruka's mind reeled in shock. "But Ibiki? How? WHY?"

Sarutobi grimaced. "Call it a weakness on an old man's part, to not deny a very brave young man the only thing he insisted he wanted, despite it being harmful to him. Ibiki is very fond of him, and takes his duties as role model very seriously. Though, I happen to know that neither has spoken to the other for nearly two months for much the same reason you are here, Iruka. Naruto doesn't understand friends, not just because he's never had one, but because he's never been one. And though Ibiki has little patience for people who do not value their friends, he's not a very good source of advice on friendship for a young boy."

Iruka's eyes widened in surprise. Of course. That was the answer.

Sarutobi smiled at the obvious revelation Iruka had just came to. "I can see you're well on your way to helping Naruto overcome his difficulties. Ibiki-san might be Naruto's father, but you are the brother he needs."

"T-thank you, Hokage-sama. I will think about what you have said, and I will try my best to help Naruto."

He nodded, but as Iruka turned to leave, apparently feeling dismissed, he added, "Ibiki is usually at the ANBU headquarters, though he can sometimes be found at the Mao Che restaurant nearby. If anyone asks, I sent you."

Iruka bowed. "Thank you, Hokage-sama."

o/

After some research, this time on the far less aware civilian girls of the village, Naruto had come to some important conclusions.

First, people treat beautiful girls differently than normal people.

At first he didn't pick up on it. He tended to follow the more exaggerated girls, the ones everyone said were beautiful. Curvy, pretty girls with very characteristic outfits. His reasoning was, they seemed to get the most extreme reactions from the people they interacted with, be it good, or bad. It was easier to spot trends with more pronounced reactions.

Men and boys, almost without exception, treated them better than anyone else. They got discounts in stores. Men bought them things. Doors were held open for them. People smiled at them.

Women were a little harder to figure. At first, he was ready to conclude that women were just like men, but there was something… off about the way they were nice to the pretty girls. It took him a little bit to figure it out, but gradually he noticed that, some of the time, when they were being nice to the pretty girls, they were actually being mean. And the pretty girls knew it, too, and they were nice, but mean, right back. Sometimes it seemed to get pretty vicious, but almost never physical, like males. Which brought him to another realization.

Girls lied more about their intentions than he did.

It was sort of humbling.

Men and boys, well, that was practically a no brainer in comparison. Yes, some of the prettier males seemed to get the same kind of attention from women that they got from men, just look at the last Uchiha. But that sort of thing was rare. Usually, the only advantage the prettier men had was that women seemed more receptive to their sexual advances. And, much like with the women but more so, other men were pretty vicious to their prettier counterparts.

That was worth a night's pondering.

Gradually, a plan formed. And, with it, a new application of an old jutsu. But it needed a little polish. And there was only one person he knew that could offer advice on that sort of thing.

He hadn't seen her in a long time. He'd better bring an offering. So, before he stopped by her apartment one night, he bought two boxes of dango.

o/

The first time Naruto met Anko was the second day after he met Ibiki-san. They were returning from a nearby restaurant with bento, and Ibiki was explaining to Naruto the importance of good nutrition. How he should try to eat healthy meals at home as often as possible, but it was okay every now and then, when he was really busy, to buy meals from vendors for a while if he had the money. Ibiki had bought him lunch, of course.

"Hey, Ibiki, where you taking the shrimp?" a voice called.

Naruto looked up to see a huge, tall woman with a really fat chest coming towards them, waving. She had dark hair and wore dark clothes, but unlike many of the other people in the building, didn't wear a funny mask.

"Hi, Anko," Ibiki replied, just as Naruto interrupted.

"We're going to the torture cells," he replied very seriously. "And I am not a shrimp."

Ibiki smiled thinly. "Anko, this is Naruto Uzumaki. Naruto, this is Anko Mitarashi."

"Hello, Mitarashi-san," Naruto said politely.

Anko raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow. "A little young to be a spy, ain't he?" She paused as the name hit her. "Or is it about, you know."

Ibiki smiled, and though Naruto wouldn't know it, she was actually a little unnerved by that smile. "Naruto isn't the subject of today's lesson, he's the student. He makes a pretty good assistant."

"…Really." She squatted to be at eye level with him. "Well, hello, Naruto-kun. You can call me Anko."

Naruto looked at the big man beside him. "Ibiki-san? Is Anko-san one of the people who can know about what we're doing?"

Ibiki smiled at him, and even gave him a kind of awkward pat on the head. "Yes, Naruto-kun. Anko would understand. Do you want to tell her?"

Naruto nodded and turned back to the woman. "We're hurting the man who hurt me. Hokage-sama said to make him really regret it. I think he regrets it, but I don't think he really regrets it yet, so we have some more work to do." He sounded oddly pleased.

Anko looked a little nonplussed. "And the sacks?"

"Ibiki-san bought me a bento!" Naruto proclaimed.

"Naruto is a growing boy, he needs his nutrition," Ibiki answered to Anko's silent question. "And we decided to make it a working lunch."

At first, Anko looked at the boy with pity. For the man to have been turned over to Ibiki's tender mercies, his crimes must have been horrible indeed. But Naruto looked back at her with a cool, serious look terribly out of place on his young face, and Anko realized she was fighting a smile. So she didn't fight it, and gave the kid one of her best feral grins. He didn't look intimidated. He smiled back the way kids will. She looked up at Ibiki.

"I think I like this kid."

Ibiki inclined his head, wordlessly agreeing.

"Do you think I could…?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Naruto? Would you mind if Anko came along?"

Naruto looked at her inscrutably. "You really want to come along? Ibiki-san warned that it gets kind of gross."

"It's okay," she assured him. "I like gross."

"Well, okay. I guess I could share my bento."

Anko patted him on the head. "Thank you, Naruto-kun, but I'll go get my own lunch. Tell me, do you like dango?"


	2. People Lie: two

o/

"Anko-neechan!" Naruto called as he approached the dango shop. He'd already been to the ANBU building and her apartment, and had bought dango at one of her favorite shops, but, sure enough, when he finally found her she was at yet another dango vendor.

Anko looked up, chewing on a bare stick. "Hey, Naruto-kun! I was beginning to think you were avoiding me!"

"Not big sister Anko!" Naruto replied, using his outgoing public persona. "I even brought you a present!" he added, holding up the two paper boxes with their sticks of dango inside.

Anko brightened. "Hey, Kobayashi's! I've been meaning to go by there."

"Sorry, no severed heads or blood of the innocent today," Naruto said.

"Aww, you always know just what to get me. Thanks, Naruto-kun. Now what do you want?"

"Talk? Private?"

Anko gave him a measuring look and he gave her the boxes of dango. Anko definitely felt she got the better end of the deal.

"Alright. Roof of my place, or inside?"

His eyes narrowed, and for a moment his serious self peeked through. "Inside," he said.

Anko's apartment was just like Naruto's own, except it had feminine clothing strewn here and there and looked like she hadn't picked up after herself in a week. He ignored it. He'd acquired a trait of keeping an almost obsessively neat home from Ibiki, but Anko was special in a lot of ways.

"Alright, whatcha got?" she asked without preamble, sliding one of the sweet treats off the stick with her tongue. After a moment's hesitation, she offered Naruto one of the sticks, but he shook his head.

"I've been studying personal interactions and how people relate to each other," he began.

Anko wrinkled her brow. "Which means?"

"I've been following people, mostly women, around for the past two weeks learning how they act."

A mad grin spread across her face, one that had nothing to do with the tasty tasty dango rolling around on her tongue. She swallowed. "Aww, has little Naruto-kun finally discovered girls?" she said in a cutesy voice. She faked shock. "Don't tell me… you want to have," she gasped theatrically, "sex!? And you need me to tell you how to do it?! Aww, Naruto-kun, I'm honored. Of course big sister Anko will tell you ALL you need to know."

Naruto looked at her seriously. "I already know about sex."

She dropped the act with a moue of disappointment. "Yeah, you would, but only one aspect, so remember that." She paused. "And damn you are hard to tease."

Naruto ignored her complaint. "For a long time now, I've had a problem with people. Everyone seems to know who I am, and they whisper and point and are usually pretty unfriendly. It's hard to fade into the background when everyone seems pissed at me for some reason," and here he let real irritation in his voice, "and no one will tell me why."

Anko nodded. She knew it probably had to do with the nine tails, but the Hokage's injunction stood. And it was a pretty serious one, one she'd obey despite firmly believing that not only did Naruto have a right to know, he would probably handle it well.

"Since I couldn't blend in, the only option was misdirection, so I made myself really, really visible, but easily dismissed. I learned the henge some time ago, and I can see applications for it, but until recently I haven't put time into learning to use it effectively. I've come up with this." He formed a seal. "Henge!"

Naruto was transformed in an instant, from the short, blond boy in orange, to a slightly taller, rather mousy looking girl with brown hair in a combination of the armored mesh fishnet and deep blue pants and vest.

Anko gave him a puzzled look.

"From what I've seen, plain looking girls are the most inconspicuous type of person. Guys rarely compete with girls in strength, and the more attractive women don't consider them a threat, either," Naruto explained.

Anko leaned forward and poked Naruto's new form sharply in the shoulder with her now bare stick. The henge disappeared with a poof.

"Naruto, it sucks," Anko said bluntly.

"Okay," he replied calmly. "Why, and how should I fix it?"

She wandered away into her apartment, only to return a few moments later with a cup of water, which she drained in a thoughtful sort of manner.

Naruto watched patiently.

"Well," she began. "I could tell it sucked when I first saw it. Your henge is okay, but it's easy to see through. It won't stand up to touch. But really, it's your look that's the problem. You're too plain. No one is that… medium."

Naruto frowned. One girl was. It was why he'd picked her as his base look.

Anko patted him on the head. "Look, you're going about this all wrong. You're just not a guy meant to blend in. Becoming a girl isn't a bad idea I suppose, if you get the mannerisms right, since most people do henge into the same sex, that'll help obscure your real identity even if someone does see through it. But you're just a stand out sort of person. Misdirection. Visible, yet dismissed for all the wrong reasons, right?"

He nodded slowly.

Anko grinned, a light springing in her eyes. "Now, who's the most visible woman you know?" She cupped her breasts for effect.

"You." Easy answer. Anko delighted in her effect on others. "But scaring the hell out of people will attract the wrong kind of attention."

"Ah, but what did your little peeping sessions tell you about how pretty girls get treated?"

"Men are invariably nicer, hoping to seduce the woman, women tend to either be neutral or subtly hostile."

Anko nodded. "Subtly hostile, is that a problem in most situations?"

Naruto shook his head. "No, it seems pointless."

"Ah ah, you underestimate the importance of securing your place," she said, wagging a finger. "But never mind, that only applies if you're going to keep that place. Unless," she added, raising an eyebrow, "you're planning on becoming a girl permanently?"

Naruto shook his head. "No, I'm looking for an easy way to move through the village without drawing notice."

"That's just it!" she exclaimed. "Draw attention. Be sexy. Make the girls jealous and the guys drool. Any decent ninja will be suspicious if you suddenly start coming onto them, but so long as they think it's their idea, they're a lot easier to manipulate. And the girls? Feh. Most will be more jealous than suspicious, and their snide little insults don't mean anything."

Naruto's eyes unfocused as he though seriously, then he formed seals. "Henge!"

This time, Naruto looked a lot like the busty chunin who'd caught him peeping and threatened to cut his balls off. He looked at Anko expectantly.

She considered him for a moment. "Eh, not bad I suppose, for a general look. But you look familiar, I think I've seen someone…" She trailed off as he nodded. She shook her head. "Don't look like anyone else unless you're impersonating them specifically. Causes too many potential problems. Make it a bit shorter, add some hip. Change the hair color." She considered. "Leave the tits alone, those are some first class hooters."

Naruto dispelled the henge, then tried again. This time, there was something… off.

Anko winced. "Okay, you need to practice that. I see why you picked someone you'd seen before." She tapped her lip thoughtfully. "In fact, I think I have something better." She headed for her bedroom, and Naruto could hear rustling around in there. "I've been forbidden on pain of boring ass missions from teaching you my jutsu, but this one ain't mine."

Naruto watched with anticipation as she emerged, holding a dusty scroll case.

She handed it to him. "This is a scroll for hensou no jutsu, an ANBU infiltration technique. Henge is just a minor genjutsu, but hensou is a ninjutsu, harder to see through, since instead of using chakra to change how someone sees you, you change yourself to look a different way. You'll burn more chakra that way, but if you focus hard enough and use enough chakra, you can keep it from being dispelled."

Naruto's eyes lit up. Finally, something beyond academy level techniques. This would take some study to master, and he was excited by the prospect. "What are its limitations?"

Anko laughed at his excitement. "While it may feel pretty easy to maintain at first, you burn chakra pretty fast when you use it, so don't get stuck in a situation where you have to use it for a long time and then have to fight. Enemies love it when you try to fight with no chakra."

"What about maintaining it while unconscious or asleep?"

She gave him an appraising look. "Why, planning on sleeping with someone?"

He didn't rise to the bait. "No, but I can't predict every situation I'll end up in. One day I may have to sleep with a target to kill him at his most vulnerable time. And if getting knocked out while transformed dispels the jutsu, it'll be harder to maintain cover in a fight."

Anko shrugged, reminding herself that he was very, very hard to tease, and for a moment wondering why she put up with him. But then, most kids his age were inexperienced and insecure in all sorts of ways. Naruto was almost exactly like that damn Ibiki. Cold. Very cold. The first time Anko had killed, she'd been hot. Pumped on battle. Naruto had not only made his first kill three years younger than she had, he'd done it almost clinically, with only a faint hint of satisfaction to show that he did feel something.

"Well, that's a part of its weakness, really," she clarified. "If you keep putting chakra into it, it'll stay activated. And part of training is learning to keep putting chakra into it while you sleep. But while you sleep, or go unconscious, you'll just keep draining your chakra. And chakra exhaustion can kill you. So while it's great for infiltration, it's a really really good idea to drop it before you get into a fight."

Naruto nodded.

"Go for it. And let me have a look at you when you get it figured out."

Bowing low, Naruto thanked her and headed for home. Something new to learn, on a nice, easy to understand scroll. No more 'experience', this was actual instructions written down.

Oh, thank you Anko-san.

o/

Ibiki wasn't the most fatherly of people, Iruka learned, but that didn't stop him from taking a certain amount of pride in the accomplishments of his accidental student. In fact, the story Ibiki told him brought a certain smile to the scarred man's lips, and a look of horror to Iruka.

He heard how a violent, failed genin had played on Naruto's naivety and spent three days using Naruto as his personal, breakable toy, before nearly killing him and burying him in the woods in a shallow grave.

But Naruto had been exceptional for a small child, and had not only managed to survive, he'd dug his way to freedom despite terrible wounds and found help. He spent several days in the hospital before the doctor allowed him to be interviewed. Despite his traumatic experience, he'd been calm and helpful, easily identifying the man.

And when the Hokage had passed the worst judgment down possible, Naruto had wanted to be there. Insisted. And somehow talked the Hokage into allowing him to be present for the man's death by torture.

Ibiki's eyes softened as he recalled the young boy falling asleep that first night from exhaustion, despite the screams, and how he'd covered him with his thick black coat and let him sleep on a couch in ANBU headquarters.

Iruka nearly gagged, and not because it was sweet or precious.

Ibiki recounted how Naruto had been extremely inquisitive, with literally hundreds of questions, but when each one was answered, he really listened. Had Iruka ever had a student who seemed to hang on every word he said, really seeming to absorb the material? Yes? It was a wonderful feeling, and Ibiki found himself sharing more of his trade than he'd ever done before. Before he knew it, Naruto was known throughout ANBU for his bravery, resistance to trauma, and fortitude in facing down the man who'd hurt him. Not everyone, even in a hard bitten organization like ANBU, approved, but some did, and all respected him for it.

What was more, besides just watching as Ibiki carried out the sentence, he'd even wanted to help. Offering suggestions, like some of the things that had been done to him. And even having his hand on the knife. It had actually been Naruto who had carefully cut the man's throat at the end. He'd had an audience, and some of them had clapped.

Iruka wanted to throw up. A six year old boy should never have had to see anything like that.

Ibiki put a hand on his shoulder in a comforting sort of way, though it was anything but.

The thing is, he'd said, when a child goes through an event like what had been forced on Naruto, the childhood is over. Most break, often so completely they can never recover. Even the ones who don't go irretrievably mad are changed by it. Naruto had identified with his attacker, the man with power. That was outside anyone's control, even Naruto's. What Ibiki had done was give him someone else to identify with, someone with even more power, the one thing the helpless Naruto had wanted above all things.

Iruka didn't want to listen to the madness, but Ibiki pressed on.

Naruto had two choices. He could either become a vicious, cold blooded killer, a menace to everyone around him, or he could become a vicious, cold blooded Konoha ninja, a useful member of Konoha's elite and completely loyal to his comrades.

Ibiki had helped him make his choice.

But that was just it! Naruto was not completely loyal to his comrades, because he had none. The boy had created and enforced a loneliness Iruka wasn't sure he could ever break. He had no friends, because he didn't understand what it meant to be a friend. All he understood was how to be a ninja, however well that might be. He ranted at some length. Underneath the goofy exterior, underneath the serious, cold eyed young man, there was a little boy so scared of being hurt he wouldn't trust anyone to break his loneliness.

And, when he'd finally ran down and stopped, breathing heavily and giving Ibiki the maddest, most accusing glare he'd ever given…

Ibiki had agreed. And hung his head.

o/

Noodles. Broth. Pork. Vegetables. Ramen was a simple meal, and the girl went about preparing it with a gentle smile, carefully slicing the vegetables and adding them six minutes after the pork had come to a rolling boil, so they wouldn't get overdone before he added the noodles. Food was easy. Find a recipe, follow it. If only everything in life was so simple.

Naruto wasn't lazy, but he had a strong belief that everyone made things more complicated than they had to be.

Food. He liked food. Ramen had turned out to be pretty good. Iruka had treated him again, one day after school, and given him a new, very special homework assignment.

Be a friend to someone. Not to worry about having a friend in return, but be a friend to someone. If nothing else, fake it really well.

He hadn't been enthusiastic at first, but Iruka had added something to that.

"I talked it over with Ibiki-san. He feels that this is a good way for you to understand this lesson we've been trying to teach you."

Well hell, that wasn't fair. Naruto had allowed himself one brief internal gripe, then nodded. And ate his ramen. Ichiraiku was pretty damned good. He'd even treated himself to a ramen tour of Konoha, kind of like Anko's dango tours, and he had to admit, Ichiraiku was the best. He'd told the old man, too, and he seemed to appreciate it. Statement of fact, compliment, acceptance, genial relations.

Why couldn't he just be a friend to an adult? They were so much easier to deal with.

But noooooo… Iruka insisted that it had to be a classmate. Gah.

So far, it hadn't worked out to well. He apparently hadn't thought out all the ramifications of his cunning plan to disguise himself as an idiot for his classmates. None of them seemed to take him seriously now, and his, admittedly awkward, attempts to improve relations hadn't worked out so well. The Uchiha fangirl Sakura thought he was hitting on her, Chouji had just given him a puzzled look and not said anything, and Kiba had said something about not wanting the scent of loser rubbing off on him.

Note to self: the weakness of long term plans is that situations change.

Of course, he could always fail this little extracurricular assignment. Certainly the Uchiha boy didn't seem to suffer from his lack of friends.

But that would be too much like giving up. Naruto hadn't found anything he couldn't do, and this wasn't going to be the first.

At least the hensou no jutsu training was working out pretty well. His food budget suddenly stretched twice as far when he went shopping as a girl.

Nice.

Of course, the week he spent with a constant headache from trying, again, and again, and again, to focus the jutsu correctly and manipulate his appearance to what he'd wanted had left him in a pretty grouchy mood.

Ahah. Perhaps that was part of why his attempts to 'make friends' had failed.

Finally he'd gotten the jutsu down pretty well, but the concentration required to maintain it made it nearly worthless. Yeah, he could look however he wanted, but he found out pretty quick that staying that way and following a conversation were mutually exclusive things. One embarrassing incident at a market on the other side of Konoha left him with the thought that that particular form wasn't going to be a character he wanted to use again.

Enhancing his own look, however, now that was a lot easier. So now, instead of a short, thin, blond haired boy in orange clothes making ramen, it was a six inch taller, curvy, cute young blonde girl in a blue yukata stirring in the noodles. His clothes were piled neatly beside his bed. The hensou no jutsu relied on an additional henge to change clothes, as they weren't a part of the actual body.

Reaction to her had ranged from gentle smiles and nearly patronizing conversations he supposed was meant to reassure him, to interested looks and in one case an outright sexual proposition.

Even Anko had approved, and her only complaint, if anything, was that Naruto had the cute girl act down a little too well.

"Come on, kid, you're a boy! At least be a little awkward about this!"

Blushing, she had toed the ground slightly and held her hands behind her back. "D-do you mean, erm, like this?" she said in a hesitant, breathy voice.

"Oooh, sexy sexy." Anko narrowed her eyes. "You keep acting like that, and you're practically begging for someone to come molest you."

Naruto widened her eyes theatrically. "Oh no!" she gasped. "But… but everyone has been so nice to me! Why, if someone were to... accost me, I think I'd scream! Surely someone would save me!" She sounded positively horrified at the thought.

Abruptly, Naruko disappeared and Naruto stood there with a cold eyed look. There was a kunai in his hand. "But if not, I'm sure the authorities would admit to a girl's right to defend herself."

Anko grinned. "That's my Naruto."

Naruto carefully served himself and sat down to think as she ate.

Clearly, this was not something he was going to figure out in a day. Perhaps this random selection process wasn't what he needed. What he needed… what he needed was the perfect candidate.

He'd just have to keep hunting until he found one.

o/

The kunai sank two inches into the dense wood of the target log, and Naruto back flipped from the imagined attack, then drew one of his most recent acquisitions, a fourteen inch aikuchi style wakizashi, from behind his back in a reverse grip and slashed across the log at head height for his imaginary enemy. Aikuchi style blades didn't have a tsuba to guard the hand, instead having a smooth profile from the sheathe to the hilt. Kunai were excellently designed throwing knives, but they weren't ideal for hand to hand, though many ninja used them exclusively. Naruto had discovered a book in the public library that offered a reasoned approach to blades, and he'd decided that a blade made for slashing attacks would suit him. The longer blade might also prove an equalizer due to his short reach, and the straighter profile would help should he decide to throw it.

Accordingly, he'd bought three, and had two slid under his shirt angled for a right hand draw, and one angled for his left. He'd also managed to pick up a better quality set of kunai, and a stack of cheap shuriken.

It was amazing what some money saving tricks like shopping as a girl could do over the course of even just a few weeks.

He'd had his eye on a roll of good wire, but it'd be another two months before he could afford that. Good ninja wire was hard to make, and cost appropriately.

Fighting with his right on a dedicated knife meant he only had his left free for throwing, but practice was ironing out the kinks, and he was getting as good with his left as he'd been with his right.

After an hour, he picked up his weapons and stretched hugely, then decided to go for a cool down run.

About a hundred steps after he ran out of the training ground, however, his stomach rumbled. Suddenly, the cool down run, which wasn't really for training, more for easing his muscles into rest, didn't seem like such a pressing matter.

Without a single step of hesitation, he made a loop around a tree and took the more direct route back to the village.

He ran with an easy lope, using the bare minimum of chakra required for a mild running pace. Amazingly, however, he spotted someone on the trail in front of him, also going back to Konoha. The training ground was the only thing out that way, so Naruto came to the obvious conclusion.

"Hey," he called, using his friendly voice. "I'm done with the training ground, you can have it."

The figure, he could see it was a girl about his age now, made a sound like 'eep' and immediately ducked behind a bush.

That was odd. Naruto stopped as he neared.

"Hello? I was just saying I'm done with the training ground. Don't you want to use it?" he called.

A head popped up from behind the bush, short, dark hair framing a red tinged face. Weird, nearly white, pupilless eyes. "Ahhh… thank you, no…" she stammered.

"Hinata Hyuga? You don't want the training ground? Why are you out here then?" he asked, honestly curious.

He knew her name! She blushed, for that was what it was making her ordinarily pale face seem so red, even more and tapped her fingers together. "A-ah, I was out looking for herbs and I thought I saw one behind this bush."

Naruto blinked. "Really? What was it?" Konoha's forests were full of plants with interesting applications. He'd read a couple books on the subject.

She glanced around. "A-ah, akebi."

Naruto's expression grew serious as he tried to remember what akebi was.

Seeing the look on his face, she pulled a length of vine out of the branches of the bush and held them up for his inspection. "Akebi. Chocolate vine."

"Oh." No wonder he didn't remember. It had no ninja applications.

Hinata looked away. Of course he wouldn't be impressed by something so useless. Like her.

"Hey, what's wrong? You got this look all of a sudden…" He trailed off. That was an odd reaction.

"N-nothing. I-" She broke off.

Naruto raised one eyebrow, not at Hinata, but at himself. Wow, he really needed to learn how to talk to people. No wonder he still hadn't completed Iruka's assignment.

"So what were you going to do with the akebi?" he asked suddenly. She seemed to do best with direct questions.

"Ahh, I was going to plant some at home," she said hesitantly.

"Why? What's it good for?"

She looked down. "Not much."

Naruto nearly walked away in frustration. "But it's got to be good for something, right? Otherwise you wouldn't have wanted it, right?"

Hinata was about to pass out from the stress. Here he was, TALKING to her, and she couldn't even answer his questions. He probably thought she was an idiot. "Well," she began finally, "you can eat the berries when they're ripe. And it smells like chocolate..." She glanced at Naruto's face, and her heart sunk. He was bored and probably only talking to her to be polite. Frantically, she ransacked her memory to come up with something he might be interested in.

"A-also, you can add it to things you want to smell like chocolate, like p-poisons, if you want." Oh, great, now he'd think she was some scary poisoner girl. No one liked people who used poisons.

Her heart leapt as Naruto perked up and looked interested. It worked!

"Really?" he replied. "I guess I kind of thought that it was a useless vine, but I can see uses for that. So you really know your plants, huh?"

She blushed more. Now he'd think she was arrogant. "Not really," she said shamefaced.

"Oh, come on. You knew what akebi was, that's more than I know. Know any good local poisons?"

Shyly, she nodded. "There's a mold you can find sometimes that's really deadly-"

Naruto shook his head. "Nah, I know that one, and it's too easily countered and too hard to concentrate. What I want is a nice paralytic poison, something that won't kill, but can stop."

Hinata nodded thoughtfully.

"The best would be aconite, but it doesn't grow around here. I'd have to buy it, and it's too expensive."

"The Grass village has some really good poisons," Hinata replied, "but you'd have the same problem."

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, they have some good ones, or so I've read. And Sand has some good ones, too, scorpion venom and snake types."

Hinata remembered something she'd saw one, when reading about edible mushrooms. "Ano, does it have to be a paralyzing poison? Because there's something called a tiger mushroom that you can sometimes find near Konoha. It causes severe pain and convulsions."

Naruto blinked. "Hey, that would work pretty good. Where can I find tiger mushrooms?"

Hinata poked her fingers together and blushed, but this time in pleasure. "Damp, shady places, mostly, just like other mushrooms. They have dark stripes like a tiger on their undersides, but they're pale white on top, just like a lot of other types."

Naruto smiled at her. He smiled at her!

"Hey, thanks, Hyuga-san. I'm going to get something to eat now. Good luck on finding herbs!" Giving her a jaunty wave, he jogged away towards Konoha.

Less than a minute later, he smacked himself in the forehead and turned around again. This time, however, he couldn't find the Hyuga girl.

o/

Warily, Naruto watched the dark haired girl in class. She was quiet. Really, she said less of meaning to her classmates than he did, and up until recently, Naruto had never been anything but frivolous.

She was a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in something he really didn't understand.

Hell, she seemed to be the most powerful of all the kunoichi, not that, admittedly, that was saying much. Her grades were good, but not as high as Sakura's perfect scores. Ino was better at civilian blending skills, but Hinata wasn't ignorant. And when it came time for sparring, she seemed to have lightening reflexes for taijutsu. Her chakra control seemed nearly perfect, as well.

But then she'd nearly invariably lose on points.

Weird. It was almost as if…

Naruto's eyebrow raised.

She wasn't really trying.

Fascinating.

What reason could she have for hiding her abilities? He knew why he did it. But something about the brief conversation he'd had with him didn't seem right.

So, time for more research.

o/

A week later, he had to admit, he hadn't learned much. His hensou no jutsu was useful for following her around without being noticed, but she seemed basically impossible to follow without being seen whenever she left public areas, almost like she had eyes in the back of her head. Once, she seemed to go to the training grounds, but when he 'happened' to show up, she was nowhere to be found.

And the rest of the time, she was in that damned high walled place she called home. No way to sneak in there.

But he'd learned a few things. The Hyuga were an old, rich, powerful clan. The oldest, the richest, the most powerful in Konoha. And, they had a bloodline limit, the byakugan, which enabled them to see much better than any other shinobi, save possibly the Uchiha, which explained why it was so damned hard to follow her.

Lastly, she seemed to be just about the most insecure person he'd ever met. He'd developed a theory that the reason she didn't try wasn't because she didn't want to tip her hand, it was because she was somehow afraid.

Which didn't make any damned sense.

Okay, the time for intel gathering was past. Time for an assault.

o/

"A-ano, you wanted to meet me out here, Naruto-kun?" she asked weakly. A thousand scenarios had ran through her head since he'd asked her to help him find the tiger mushroom after school.

"Yeah. Like I said earlier, I can't seem to find a tiger mushroom anywhere around here." He scratched the back of his head and chuckled lightly at his own stupidity. Really, he hadn't even tried. "You've got that amazing vision thing, right? What's it called?"

"Ah, it's called the byakugan. It's the Hyuga clan bloodline limit. Of course I'll use it to help you find the mushroom." She was flattered he'd even asked.

"Lead the way, oh beautiful Hyuga princess," he intoned, bowing low.

thump

"Hinata? What the hell?"

A minute later and some not completely kind slaps to her cheeks brought her back around.

"I'm so sorry, really! I'm really terribly sorry about that," she exclaimed, horribly embarrassed.

God she was annoying. "No, no, it's okay. Why did you faint, anyway?"

"..eep!"

Rolling his eyes where she couldn't see them, he shook his head. "Ah, never mind. If it makes you that uncomfortable. Anyway, onward to the mushrooms!"

For a while, he let her search in peace, watching curiously as she formed seals and channeled chakra to her eyes, making her vision seem freakishly intense. She would point out groups of mushrooms, and he'd obediently go and investigate, though so far they hadn't found a rare tiger mushroom.

"So, what's your family like?" Naruto asked.

"What?" she asked in shock, dropping her technique.

"Sorry, I was just curious and wanted to know some more about you. I don't have a family, you know," he replied offhandedly.

She dropped her head. "I know," she whispered.

He picked up on her mood. "Eh, it's not great, but it's not too bad. I mean, it'd be nice to have a mother or father, I guess."

She nodded, slowly. "I lost my mother when I was very young. I miss her, sometimes."

Finally, some answers. "And your father?"

She took a while before replying. "Father is the head of the entire family. He is very… strict."

Interesting word choice. "Yeah, I guess it'd be nice, but it is kinda nice to not have someone always nagging at me."

She bobbed her head, then resumed her search.

A little while later, he tried a more direct approach. "Hey, Hinata?"

"Yes?" she asked softly.

"You seem like you could be a really good fighter, but you always lose your sparring matches. Why is that?"

She blushed. "I-I'm really not very good at fighting."

He gave her a puzzled look. "But you could be. You're faster than anyone else with your hands, I've seen you. You should be kicking ass."

"I can't," she replied helplessly.

"But why?" he pressed, getting irritated.

She wrung her hands in consternation. "I just can't!"

"That's not an answer," he pointed out reasonably.

"I'm just not like you, okay?" she snapped. "I w-want to be like you, I want to TRY like you, but I can't!"

Naruto blinked, stunned, then, before he could help himself, laughed.

Mortified, she turned and bolted.

"Shit!" This wasn't going according to plan. He'd already put a lot of energy into this, and he wasn't going to see it wasted just because of some weird girl. He bounded after her.

Fortunately, while Hinata had lightening quick punches, she was only an average runner, and Naruto managed to catch up to her and tackle her from behind. They fell into a skidding roll, and he suddenly found himself with a wildcat in his arms. She flailed about frantically, and her blows, while glancing hurt more than they had a right to.

"Hin-oof-ata, wait oww! a minute! Stop you're OWW hurting me!" he gasped, trying to keep the panicking girl from escaping. Her own breath seemed to be coming in hitches and sobs, and her struggles, if anything, were getting stronger and faster.

Finally, in desperation, he let go with one hand, taking the stinging blow to his chest in favor of a nice over arm swing that bonked his fist off the top of her head. She went limp in his arms.

"Finally, crap," he gasped, rolling off her unconscious body. "Crazy bitch needs to calm down now."

After a moment to get his breath back and massage feeling back into the places she'd hit, he rubbed his head. "Alright, now what?"

Hinata awoke to another series of stinging slaps to her cheeks, and she gasped and struggled to sit up. However, there seemed to be someone in bright orange clothes sitting on her chest, and her arms were tied behind her back, and her feet seemed to be tied together as well. "NARUTO!"

"Calm down, Hinata, I just want to talk, okay? Just take a deep breath and calm…" he said, demonstrating, "down."

After a moment's struggle, she did as he commanded.

"Now. I don't know what I said to upset you. I'm sorry I laughed. But I wasn't laughing at you." Tiny lie, there. "Now, could you please tell me what's wrong?"

"I… You laughed at me," she said plaintively.

He sighed and rubbed his face with one hand. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings. I was laughing, err, at myself."

"What?"

"At myself," he repeated, warming to his story. "You see, I'm not really trying at the academy. I'm kinda afraid to." Oh, what a lie, he thought. Those famous eyes really don't see much, do they?

She struggled to sit up again, looking at him with wide eyes, then gave up. "Afraid? Why? Of what?" she asked, shocked.

He shrugged, because, honestly, he didn't know what to tell her.

"But, you've always tried so hard!" she proclaimed, trying to make sense of his words. "When we were learning the shadow shuriken technique, you stayed out there practicing it for days!"

"Hinata, I figured it out in about ten minutes. I just didn't want everyone else to know that I could do it."

"But, why?"

He shrugged again. "So if I ever fought one of them, I could use the technique and it'd come as a complete surprise."

She shook her head. "But why would you fight one of your friends like that?"

"They're not my friends," he replied honestly.

"Not your friends?! What do you mean?" Concern was easy to see on her face, and he frowned.

"I don't have any friends. Everyone thinks I'm an idiot, and I've put a lot of work into making them think so."

"A-ano, I don't think you're an idiot, Naruto-kun," she said hesitantly.

One corner of his mouth quirked up. "I guess so. And here all this time I've been trying to be your friend, too."

Her eyes widened in shock. "Trying to…!" Her head made a soft thump as it hit the ground.

"Hinata?" he asked, poking her cheek with one finger. "Hinata?" Pause. "SON OF A BITCH!"

o/

"I want you to hit me."

"Huh?

"Hit me," Naruto replied. "Come on, don't you want to know what it's really like? I hit you earlier. Pretty hard, even. Knocked you out. So hit me."

"But, I don't want-" she began.

"Come on, Hinata, you'll never know what you can do if you don't ball up that fist and HIT someone with it." He jumped in front of her and stood unguarded. "Come on. Hit me, right here," he said, tapping his jaw.

"But, Naruto, it'll hurt you," she protested.

I can take it, he didn't say out loud. "It's okay, I probably deserve it. Come on, Hinata. I know you've got it in you, you just need to release it. Now do what I say, and hit me."

Dubiously, she clenched her fist and looked first at it, then at him. "A-are you sure?"

"Come on, free shot. I won't hate you, I won't get mad at you, in fact, nothing would make me happier than for you to hit me. So come on." He tapped his jaw again, then settled his stance, bracing himself. "Hit me."

She raised her fist, then half lowered it, fear writ plain on her face.

"We've really got to work on your following instructions. HIT ME."

Slowly, Hinata raised her fist again, took a deep breath, and swung like a cobra striking out at a mongoose.

Suddenly the world was all in gray, and he was looking at it sideways, the grass covering about half his vision, and Hinata moving frantically, calling out to him in some sort of weird, frantic, totally silent way.

"Hey," he protested weakly. "You hit me in the ear…"

Blackness.

o/

It turned out, there were a whole host of problems with being 'friends' with a Hyuga.

For one, Naruto was basically persona non grata to the Hyugas, who prided breeding and class almost as much as they prided power. And after one pointed comment to Hinata one evening, just from a shopkeeper whom Naruto had once dumped a powder made from poison ivy leaves on his hanging laundry, it became clear that just his presence could hurt Hinata's standing. So he avoided her in public, and she took his explanation well enough, though she looked sad.

Another, and rather more difficult to solve, issue, was that she was expected to train at her home nearly all of her time outside the academy, which he'd already knew, but hadn't considered.

Although, it wasn't like he wanted to spend a whole lot of time around her, but he had certain obligations he needed to fulfill if he was going to solve this tremendously difficult problem Ibiki-san and Iruka-sensei had given him.

Naruto didn't complain, though. He could see the utility. There almost certainly would come a time when he'd have to 'make friends', either to gain an ally, or deceive an enemy.

Too bad he had no talent for making friends.

But, hey, he could fake it.

So he listened to her dreary problems. He sat through her blushing, stammering explanation of why she looked up to him, which took an hour longer than it had a right to. He discovered that she actually had a longstanding interest in him and would often keep track of his movements and activities, to a level that, quite frankly, scared the hell out of him at first, though he quickly warmed to the possibilities inherent in a Hyuga ally. At some length he realized that where most girls in his class had an infatuation with Sasuke Uchiha, Hinata had a mad romantic crush on him. He nodded seriously when she told him that she was the weakest member of the Hyuga, and how her father wouldn't acknowledge her.

And while he listened, he thought. And came to a conclusion.

Everyone's looking for something. Figure out what that something is, and offer it to them, and you have power over them. Power that can be used for all sorts of interesting things. This was why everyone was so upset that he didn't understand why he needed friends. And, really, that was kind of a childish, silly thing to think. By not having friends, he was limiting the heights he could reach as a ninja.

Naruto had some things he wanted to do. Things he would need friends for.

So, finally, at the end of yet another conversation where Hinata found herself pouring out her fears and secrets to this boy she barely knew but had admired for so long…

Naruto clapped one hand on each of her shoulders and looked her square in the eye, pouring every ounce of seriousness, of conviction, of force of personality he possessed into the look he gave her, and said three little words.

"I acknowledge you."

Her smile was small, but genuine. There was even a tear in her eye. And Naruto turned and walked away, confident she'd follow.

And she did.

Because that was what she was. Now to make her useful.

o/

"I have an assignment for you, Hinata. A… schoolwork assignment, if you will." Naruto smirked at her, his eyes both hard and knowing.

It made her shiver. She'd always known Naruto was the type to never give up, and he was stronger than everyone gave him credit for, but she'd had no idea how strong. He'd given her a glimpse. She wanted more.

"Yes, Naruto," she replied, regretting how short their time together was. Between school and her training at home, she was lucky to see him at the training grounds twice a week, and then often for only an hour or two. But, while he'd shown her the strength she really possessed, and shown her how to compensate for the weaknesses that daunted her, the most amazing things were what he'd taught her about what it meant to be a ninja.

"I want you to lose a fight."

Her eyes widened.

His smile widened in that knowing way he had, as if he were twice her age rather than a few months younger. "You've shown that you can hide your abilities, even from yourself. You've gotten better at learning what you're actually capable of. But you're still afraid of losing. You're still afraid of what people will think of you, right?"

Hinata wanted to protest, but Naruto seemed to know her better than she knew herself. And she knew that it wasn't a question he'd asked her. She nodded.

"People are often fools. They see what they want." He raised his eyebrow at her. "In some cases, they see what they don't want. You're still afraid of failure. So, you fail. Like a rabbit so afraid of the snake, all it can do is stare and shiver as the snake slithers up and eats it. You have to accept failure. Some of the time, you are going to fail."

"Ah, Naruto, but you've never failed when you didn't mean to," she said hesitantly.

He shook his head. "Actually, Hinata, I've failed a number of times. And I was really, really, close to failing what I've been told is the most important lesson a ninja can learn."

"What's that?"

"The importance of friends," he said with a tight smile. "You're helping me learn that lesson. And I'm going to help you."

She felt her cheeks warm, and her chest felt tight, but it wasn't a bad thing. It actually felt… good.

"So, here's what I want you to do." He put a hand on her shoulder, like he always did when he was being really serious. "I want you to lose a fight," he said, exactly the way he'd first brought it up.

"I don't understand."

"Lose a fight," he repeated. "I want you to pick a fight with someone at school. Someone weak. I want you to start a fight where you won't be the hero. And, I want you to lose."

"B-but," she started, then shut her mouth. What if her father found out? A Hyuga, losing a pointless fight, he'd be furious! There was no telling what sort of punishment he'd make her do.

Naruto's eyes got hard as she made a word of protest, then softened as he saw her resolve firm. "Yes, that's it, exactly. Whatever consequences will be, will be. We may lose a fight with an enemy one day. If so, we will die. It's as simple as that. But if you're afraid of dying all the time, you won't have the will to win."

He was right. Wordlessly, not trusting herself to speak, she nodded. She would do it. Because Naruto told her to, and Naruto was always right.

"Now, let's spar. Show me you know how to lose, and make it look good."

She nodded, then paused. "Ah, I think I made a mistake yesterday."

"Mmm?"

"When I beat Shikamaru in that taijutsu spar," she explained softly. "He looked surprised, and he had shifty eyes. I think he suspects I've gotten better."

Naruto rubbed his nose. "I was wondering about that, I watched the whole match. I don't think it's an issue, Shikamaru isn't very strong, but if you say he looked suspicious, I'll keep an eye on him."

She blushed in pleasure. Naruto hadn't been disappointed in her.

"Now, come at me like you hate me."

o/

There were collective gasps from all around her, students who couldn't believe that Hinata, the shyest girl in class, had just said that to INO, the loudest.

"W-what?!" Ino spluttered, shocked beyond thought for a moment at the insult coming from HINATA of all people. But never mind who, it was what she said that pissed her off. Beside her, Sakura and Tsuki, a brunette who lived down the road from her family shop, also bristled at the comments, unsure who it'd been directed at. But it was Ino who'd responded first.

Oh no, this was incredibly hard. She didn't have anything against Ino. But she'd gotten scared the first day, and while Naruto hadn't said anything, she could feel his disapproval burning into her as she'd walked home. And today, when Ino had been squabbling with Sakura and Tsuki over some imagined trait of Sasuke, she'd just blurted it out. Now she wanted to sink into her chair. The eyes of the entire class were boring into her, but only one mattered. She briefly locked gazes with Naruto. He had a smile.

"I asked what you said, Hinata," Ino repeated, her voice low and dangerous. "Or don't you have the guts to say it to my face?"

Taking a deep breath, Hinata steeled her nerves and mustered disdain into her voice. "Sorry, I didn't realize you were deaf _and_ stupid. I said, 'Will the blonde screeching harpy Uchiha fangirl ever sit down and shut up?' Which wasn't what she'd really said, having actually referred to 'all the stupid Uchiha fangirls'. But since Ino made herself a target, she could paraphrase.

Wow. It was really kind of neat watching the flicker of changing expressions on Ino's face as she went from pissed to completely irrational in the span of about five seconds.

"You…! You…! YOU BITCH!" Ino screeched, her voice hitting those high registers she was infamous for when she got mad.

Hinata winced theatrically and dug a finger into her ear. "Alright, alright, I apologize. You can keep looking like an idiot as you throw yourself at Sasuke all you want. Just shut up, please, no one wants to hear it." Several people around her, all male, chuckled appreciatively. Two were looking at her with raised eyebrows, and one was Shikamaru. He looked, it was hard to say, _smarter_ than usual.

Ino spluttered in fresh rage, then lunged abruptly. She barely made it three feet before people around her grabbed her and held her back.

Hinata yawned, covering her mouth politely, and turned away as if bored. It took a moment, because her heart was pounding, but, with a struggle, she managed to resume her usual blank expression.

"HEY! Don't you look away from me, you bitch!" Ino cried, visibly struggling with her attackers. Hinata didn't bother looking around, but as a Hyuga, her peripheral vision was extraordinary. "What the hell is wrong with you, Hinata?!" Ino forcibly calmed herself, then turned catty. "I guess even little miss prissy gets pissy 'that time'."

Hinata winced inside. She didn't want to hurt Ino. But she had a mission. She could feel bad about it later. Maybe she'd even be able to make it up to Ino later.

Instead, she shook her head slowly. "No, Ino, only little girls let their bodies control them," she replied, putting enough disdain in her voice at 'little girls' as she turned and looked at the blonde that there was no doubt who she was referring to. "But I guess it is amusing that everyone around you knows when you're in 'that time'," she added mockingly.

"I'm gonna kick your ass!" Ino screeched, and lunged anew.

Surprisingly, Hinata felt herself warming to the exercise. She gave Ino a full force look from her byakugan. "You could never touch a Hyuga, Yamanaka. These eyes miss nothing. Like the padding on your chest."

There were scattered snickers at that, but most of the class was looking at Hinata like she'd grown a second head. She wanted to wilt under the mutters and the glares. Apparently, she'd succeeded in more than just getting Ino mad enough to want to fight.

"You and me! Right here!" Ino called, and Sakura actually let go of her friend's arm.

Hinata shrugged as if it didn't matter. "Nah. I'd want a challenge. Besides, Iruka-sensei will be back soon."

"After class, then, bitch!"

"I'll be there."

Iruka walked back in to a class abuzz with tension. He tried to figure it out, but other than some hostile glances here and there, directed, as near as he could tell, at no one in particular, he ended up passing it off as kids being kids.

The rest of the day was pure torture for Hinata. She had to fight Ino later today. And she had to lose, and lose badly. Yesterday, it had just been Naruto's disapproval she had to deal with. But today, everyone hated her. In just a few minutes, she'd gone from being ignored, just a dark, weird, shy girl, to being an arrogant bitch that no one liked. Even Naruto- wait.

Yes, he did look at her. And his face was just as stony and hateful as the looks everyone else was giving her.

Then he winked at her. Fast. Just a flutter of his eyelid. And Hinata knew that the only person who mattered knew what she was doing. And approved.

She could do this. She could! For Naruto. And herself.

"Alright, bitch, ready to get your ass kicked?!" Ino spat viciously. She'd spent the entire day stewing, getting angrier and angrier. To make her even more furious, Hinata seemed almost bored.

Hinata, for her part, was anything but bored. In fact, she was incredibly nervous. Frightened, even, but she covered it up by concentrating on the weariness she felt from having been tense for two days straight. Instead of looking tired, though, she looked bored.

Almost their entire class stood around, minus a few who'd had to leave for various reasons, but plus a few accidental audience members who'd tagged along out of curiosity.

"Kick her ass, Ino!" Sakura called. Her sentiment was echoed by quite a few other girls, most of them irritated by Hinata's disdain for 'Uchiha fan girls'.

"Oh, I will," Ino replied, gritting her teeth and stepping lightly into the informal ring the audience had formed. Most of them were distinctly on 'her' side of the arena. "Watch me kick her ass, Sasuke!"

"Sasuke isn't here, Ino," Hinata answered. "I guess he didn't feel like seeing you get humiliated today. After all, he sees it every day you throw yourself at him."

"DIE!" Ino screeched, and charged.

Hinata had never faced such an angry enemy before. She'd fought faster, in fact, everyone in her family was faster, and Naruto was no slouch, either. But Ino had a ferocity to her motions that made her rather intimidating. She dodged the first punch and slapped Ino's snap kick away on reflex, slipping into her training for an instant.

And, for a brief moment, she saw it. She saw an opening as Ino stumbled away, she could hit the blonde full in the chest with a juken, then dominate the fight from there. It was tempting, after all, Ino really wanted to hurt her. Hinata's hand flashed out… then slowed.

Ino leapt away, breathing hard and massaging her calf where Hinata had slapped it.

Hinata shifted back to a normal standing posture, not a stance, her hands at her sides. Even without her byakugan activated, she could have ended the fight. And, for the first time, she understood what Naruto meant when he said hiding your abilities took more effort than displaying them.

But, she wasn't as good as Naruto. It was only through Naruto's guidance that she had become willing to hurt other people at all, which basically meant beating the hell out of Naruto in most of their practice sessions. Did she have anything to hide?

Ino charged again, throwing a series of quick punches to her torso, forcing Hinata to clench her hands to avoid countering and dart to each side and backwards to avoid being hit.

"But I'm supposed to-" she whispered to herself, stopping before she said anything Ino might pick up. She was supposed to lose. Because Naruto said so. It was her mission to lose.

Ino's leg connected with her thigh with a meaty thwack as Hinata slowed for a moment. Pain lanced up her leg, and Hinata jumped to one side and rolled away, nursing her injured leg. The girl wasn't anywhere near as strong as Naruto, but she'd picked probably the worse, or perhaps the best, time to get hit. It had been a full force blow, right at the maximum extension and speed.

"Hah!" Ino exulted. "Not so cocky now, are you? I guess the Hyuga aren't all that after all!"

Hinata crouched, breathing fast and shallow as she dropped one hand to feel of her leg. Up until now, she'd been almost totally passive, responding to the attacks only. Time to attack.

She leapt from her crouch at Ino, arms outstretched as if to tackle. Ino dodged to the side easily enough, though without time to counterattack, and Hinata landed on her hands and flipped into a roll, coming to her feet in an instant. Spinning to avoid the knee aimed at her kidneys, she launched an uppercut at Ino's face. Fortunately for Ino, who had one hand ineffectually on Hinata's shoulder, and her other blocked by Hinata's forearm, Hinata deliberately missed to the left, brushing her cheek with the edge of her hand. After all, she had been the bully, and she didn't deserve to win.

And Ino head butted her in the nose.

"OW!" Hinata cried, stumbling back. The blonde must have been well and truly pissed to risk damage to her own face just to hit Hinata.

"That's for being such a stuck up _Hyuga_," Ino called, though she clutched at her own forehead.

The crowd cheered, immensely entertained.

"GO INO!" Sakura called. "That's using your FOREHEAD!"

"Sorry, Sakura!" Ino called back, turning slightly. "Didn't mean to steal your secret technique, forehead girl!"

That had hurt, Hinata thought to herself as she clutched her now bloody nose. It didn't feel broken, but just touching it brought spikes of pain and made her eyes water. Okay, forget losing, forget winning, forget whose fault this fight was, Hinata was pissed.

So she darted forward, following Ino's rapidly retreating steps and flailing hands, and punched the girl in the stomach, barely remembering to not use the juken, but not pulling the strength any, either.

Ino folded up over her hand and retched in an instant, vomit splattering down Hinata's leg and shoe.

Still pissed, Hinata grabbed Ino's ponytail and proceeded to knee her in the head several times, the first time pretty hard, the second and third much more gently, more for show. Of course, this had the effect of smearing bits of Ino's lunch all over her face. Some of the crowd cheered for that, too, but more catcalls and insults flew her way than anything.

Hinata released Ino's hair and allowed her to slump to her hands and knees, spitting bile into the grass. "Come on, Ino, is that all you've got?!" Hinata raged. "Is that it? You get hit and you quit? You really are pathetic, you know that? Get up! Get up and hit me!" Unconsciously, she repeated the same thing Naruto had told her in their first real sparring session together.

Ino retched one last time, then lifted her head as she wiped drool and blood from her lips with the back of one hand, glaring at Hinata from beneath disheveled bangs.

"Come on!" Hinata taunted, shocked at the words coming out of her mouth. "Or just quit, go home. I've got no use for someone who won't FIGHT!"

Naruto, she thought. Naruto's words, my mouth.

And I used to be such a nice girl.

Ino launched herself like a charging boar, a wordless scream of fury exploding from her throat as she leapt for her tormentor.

Not thinking, just knowing that it was time, she braced herself for the impact, holding out her hands to meet the rush.

Ino planted one foot right before she hit, using that leg for extra power as she hit upwards, head down, arms outstretched. As a fighting technique, it sucked. But Hinata didn't move, she took it, head hitting between her breasts, arms wrapping around her, everything.

The two flew together, and somehow Ino ended up with her knees in Hinata's stomach, driving the air from them with a tremendous ooof as they hit, Hinata flat on her back.

The first punch hit Hinata's bloody nose with a feeling like a starburst in her head. Everything was kind of muted after that, with Ino screaming imprecations and pounding fist after fist into Hinata's face, before finally, the screaming, snarling she-beast was pulled bodily off Hinata's limp body.

Time passed.

A number of figures surrounded her, hard to see through her swollen eyes, a strange sensation for a Hyuga.

More time passed.

The figures went away, except for one, who crouched down beside her.

And he spoke.

"Today, I watched a girl do the hardest thing I've ever seen. Everyone wants to be the hero. Everyone wants to be right. But sometimes, we need to do things that aren't right. Because they have to be done. It takes a lot to be a bad guy when you don't mean it. It takes a lot to lose when you have to. Today, I watched a girl, a silly, blonde thing obsessed with boys and her hair, walk away from a victory, her bloody face held high in pride. She's probably never known a victory before. You gave her that, Hinata, and no one will ever know it but me."

He paused, and bent down closer. Hinata wasn't sure, her lips seemed swollen and numb, but he may have kissed her. She'd have blushed, but her cheeks were turning an ugly shade of blue not suitable for blushing.

"Yours will be other victories. For now, enjoy your defeat, and know it was right."

Moaning softly, Hinata allowed him to pick her up and carry her to the hospital. Naruto's kiss burned on her lips.


	3. People Lie: three

o/~

Her father was furious, of course. For three weeks solid, he had her training from the moment she got out of the academy until she passed out from exhaustion. Of course, much of the training involved him or her little sister beating the crap out of Hinata.

Perversely, Hinata knew her father would actually be pleased with the strides she'd made. But she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

A plan had formed in her mind.

She was going to get through this. She was going to suffer every closure of her tenketsu, every juken strike, every four hour session stabbing two fingered strikes into the carefully labeled tatami target dummy that had to be replaced twice daily, training sessions that left her arms feeling like jelly and her head swimming.

She was going to take the look on her little sister's face, the little sister she adored, the look that told her how _disappointed_ she was in her big sister.

And when she got through it, she was going to see Naruto again. She had seen failure. Now she wanted to see Naruto win.

She wanted to be there with him. She didn't even bother to try and repair the damage her fight with Ino had done to her reputation. All of that was cast behind her now. She just wanted to be stronger, so she could keep up with Naruto.

He had the skills. She'd fought him personally. He truly was one of the best in the class. She wanted to say the best, but even Naruto had impressed upon her that he didn't truly know how he compared in skill to, say, Sasuke, he just knew he'd win any initial confrontation with anyone of their level.

So Hinata was going to get stronger, too. And just like Naruto, she was going to hide her skill, even from her own father, who in her eyes, was a pale substitute for Naruto, who cared about her.

One day, Naruto would look at her with respect. One day, he would have love and tenderness in his eyes. She would give herself to him, and he would accept, and it would be glorious. One day, she'd be his wife. For now, she contented herself with being his girl.

So she performed spear point strikes on the training dummies until her fingernails tore off from the constant impact with the densely packed reeds. She pushed her body to the limits as she slid away from incoming attacks, often deliberately just a little too slow to avoid being hit. She threw herself into training with everything Naruto had demanded of her, but with Naruto, she gave it to him willingly.

With her father, she slid it under his nose.

The thing that really got to her, though, the thing that made her eyes hard and cold like Naruto's, but only when she was on her knees on the dojo floor, gasping for air, her gaze averted down so no one could see, that thing was that her father, of all people, should be able to see through it. She wasn't as practiced at hiding herself away as Naruto was, and she avoided blows she shouldn't have been able to at her supposed skill level. There'd be a brief flicker of approval when she really went all out, and she hated it, and would let a simple strike leave her curled up and quivering in pain on the floor, just so she could see the disappointment in his face again. Her father should have known she was faking, but he'd already resigned himself that his oldest daughter was a failure.

Getting beat by a nobody like a Yamanaka was simply proof in his eyes.

Well she'd show him. She wasn't his failure.

She was Naruto's.

o/~

"You want me to what?" he asked.

"I want everyone in the class to acknowledge you," Hinata replied.

Naruto was mentally kicking himself for being caught verbally unprepared by such an odd statement from Hinata, but that paled in comparison to the magnitude of what Hinata was asking. He paused in their get together sparring session to think.

"You taught me to stop being afraid of losing. You taught me that it's not about your place in the class, it's what you can do." She had also paused, giving him time to think. "But you said what you have is a guaranteed first strike. I know you can beat anyone in our class. I just want everyone else to know it."

He raised one eyebrow at her. "Why?"

Hinata grew agitated. "Because they disrespect you!" she blurted. "They think you're a joke! You're not! You're NOT!"

"Don't you mean that they see you as a joke, now?" he replied calmly.

Hinata shook her head furiously. "No, I don't care about that. But you deserve to be seen as the best!"

The best, huh? What would it be like, to be like Sasuke? Hated by nearly every boy in class? Fawned about by little girls with the most ridiculous crushes? But no, pretty much everyone would hate him for suckering them so completely, and again for having the gall to beat their precious Sasuke. He'd be unveiled. Rivals would spring up out of nowhere.

No, better to stay anonymous.

Naruto shook his head. "No, Hinata, revealing myself would be pointless. We are shinobi, we keep secrets. Even from each other."

"But your grades! You're still getting low scores," she protested. "What if they decide that you're not good enough to graduate, even though you're so skilled?"

Naruto smiled slightly and nodded. "You're right, but you don't have to worry about that. The right people know. They won't fail me."

"But-"

"No, Hinata," he interrupted darkly. Her insistence had dropped past cute and into rebellion in an instant.

Her mouth shut with an audible click of teeth, and she realized she had overstepped her bounds.

"I-I-I'm sorry, N-Naruto!" she gasped. "I-I just wanted-" Her words choked off as her throat grew tight. His expression scared her.

He gave her a measured look, leaving her trembling. After a long, long moment, he reached out and put his hand on her shoulder.

She tried hard not to flinch, but couldn't quite stop a single shudder, which she was sure he noticed.

"We'll wait. We'll bide our time. You'll show what you can do when the time is right." His eyes bored into hers.

She gave him a hesitant, quivering nod.

And for another long minute, he looked at her, almost as if he was trying to decide something. She'd have been afraid, but she knew him. She could see he was thinking about her, and even if he was angry, he was thinking about her.

Finally, he spoke up once more. "Hinata, I'm your friend, right?"

"Yes!" she exclaimed quietly.

"And you are my friend," he said thoughtfully.

She nodded firmly. She didn't know where he was going with this, but she agreed.

"…there's someone I'd like to meet you."

o/~

Hinata was a Hyuga. That meant she didn't have to keep glancing sideways at her companion as they walked the streets of Konoha, she could see her perfectly well out of the corner of her eye, even without activating the byakugan.

Naruko was an entirely new creature.

She walked boldly and confidently, jutting her chest out and swaying her hips with an easy confidence Hinata had never possessed. She smiled at everyone they passed, and everyone smiled back. People waved, and she waved back. Some people even seemed to know her, and once she exchanged brief greetings with a shopkeeper selling fresh produce.

Only one person knew Hinata by name, and that was Mizuki, their academy instructor. He paused to say hi, and gave Naruko several interested looks as they exchanged easy greetings before Naruko begged forgiveness and lead Hinata away. Mizuki, a chunin, had no idea that the lovely young girl was really one of his own male students. Hinata was impressed.

Even as a girl, Naruto was greater than she was.

The thought didn't bother her. But Hinata was still surprised at Naruto's solution to his self imposed restriction on being seen with her in public. Hinata had actually wanted him with her anyway, but he'd insisted that her reputation was a valuable commodity and not to be squandered on unnecessary things like being seen together.

Whatever that meant. Sometimes Naruto said things so profound they mystified her.

And… Naruto laughed and joked with her. Like young girls did with each other all the time. Except Hinata, who had never really done things like that. But she soon found herself drawn into easy banter, somehow managing to hold up her end of the conversation while Naruto deliberately rambled on about the best places to get ramen in Konoha.

Their journey carried them approximately a third of the way into Konoha, not far at all, to a nondescript apartment building two streets away from a main road. Most of the residents of the place were older, married couples with decades together that had lived in Konoha all of their lives, who hadn't bought real houses for various reasons.

"He likes this place because of that, you know," Naruko said cheerfully. "Every single civilian living in this building has a long history here, with few trips outside Konoha and none outside the Fire country at all. A few shinobi live here, too, mostly administrative types. Quiet, serious types, the backbone of our infrastructure. Everyone who lives here is easily monitored for loyalty and has very routine schedules. It makes them easier to keep an eye on."

Hinata nodded. "It sounds like this person takes security seriously." Paranoia, of course, being a silly way of describing what was a very real issue for ninja.

"He's very important in a not very well liked section of Konoha's shinobi," Naruto replied with evident pride. "He was the first person to ever… well…," Naruto said thoughtfully as he thought, "acknowledge me." The door to the entrance hall was not locked, but Hinata caught glimpses of several eyes peeking at them, and knew that a number of people hidden behind curtains and blinds had noted their arrival.

"These people stick together," Naruto said aloud, noticing Hinata's darting glances as she somehow followed the furtive activity going on all around them. "The arrival of two cute girls who have never been seen before but seem to know where they are going will provide gossip and speculation for weeks."

"But why would anyone want to live around gossips?" Hinata wondered.

Naruto shrugged, the motion setting her pigtails waving. "Most are just civilians. The ones who aren't gossip in ways that keep the important stuff private. Or so I'm told. I haven't learned long term infiltration techniques yet."

"You probably won't get a chance for quite a few years, either," a voice said from behind them both. "Your talents as a fighter mean you're not likely to ever be picked for a lengthy infiltration. Even if you do seem proficient with the appropriate jutsu."

Hinata squeaked and whirled. But there was no one there. She glanced at Naruto, but the blonde girl was also glancing around, trying to spot the voice's owner, apparently also without success.

"Hinata," Naruto said quietly.

Nodding, she formed seals. "Byakugan!"

The world exploded, and she perceived everything at once. Hyuga vision was unique, with a much wider field of vision and the ability to focus on any part of it with perfect clarity. After channeling chakra to the eyes, however, the field of vision wrapped around their entire body, and she gained the ability to focus on more than one thing in more than one place, at a time. It took only a few seconds to spot the chakra, and only a little more concentration to see the entire man, wrapped in chakra which obscured him, as he stood casually to one side of the hall. Hinata spun in place, looking in the opposite direction, more at Naruto, if one was to judge by which way her eyes looked. Her hands blocked from the stranger by her own body, she crooked a finger into a hook, pointing at him through her body.

Naruto nodded, then dropped his transformation, becoming a boy once more. "Hello, Ibiki-san," he said formally, directing his words at the empty air. "I have brought someone I'd like you to meet."

The man was just suddenly there, but of course he'd been there all the time. "Hello, Naruto-kun. It's been a while. Why don't you and your… friend, come into my apartment. I have tea."

"Thank you for the tea, Ibiki-san," Hinata said politely, easily falling into the formal manner he and Naruto used with each other.

"You are welcome, Hyuga-san," he replied, sitting down at his table with the two of them after having poured the tea. "I'm glad you came. I have been hoping Naruto would find someone appropriate to become friends with for quite some time, now."

Hinata blushed faintly. "It is an honor, Sir."

Ibiki turned to Naruto, who looked faintly uncomfortable, at least to someone who knew him as well as Ibiki.

"I thought a lot about what you said," Naruto blurted.

Ibiki raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, keeping his face that same silent, cool visage that broke countless numbers of his guests.

Quickly schooling his expression to hide his nervousness, Naruto declined to continue, turning instead to his guest. "Hinata-chan, you asked a question earlier about my real abilities. Ibiki-san knows what I can do better than I do. Please explain what I have advised about your father and sister."

Giving him a doubtful look, she nevertheless sipped her excellent tea and cleared her throat nervously. Ibiki gave her an encouraging smile, though the effect was ruined by his horrifically scarred face. But despite her misgivings about spilling such a private issue with someone she'd just met, Ibiki was someone who awed even Naruto. She didn't know exactly who he was, but he must be special.

So she explained her difficulty with the Hyuga family training. How her little sister, despite her age, was able to defeat, and indeed hurt her, in sparring sessions. And how her father had dismissed her as a failure.

Ibiki didn't offer any sort of comment while he listened, and Hinata found herself admitting more and more, though nothing she hadn't told Naruto. In fact, the scarred man listened to her with the same quiet intensity that Naruto did. She could see that he was special to Naruto.

She outlined Naruto's plan for her to gain ascendancy amongst her family, hiding her abilities until she was overwhelmingly stronger than those thought of as her betters. Then, after displaying her true prowess, her father would be humbled by her deception, and the upset amongst her family hierarchy would give her plenty of opportunities to secure her place.

Ibiki sipped at his own tea. "That is indeed a plan Naruto would advise. He is quite fond of deception tactics designed to make the enemy underestimate you."

Naruto winced. "Yes, though I believe those tactics are the most appropriate in both mine and Hinata-chan's situations."

"Why?"

"We've discussed my situation before-" Naruto began, but was interrupted.

"Elaborate for your friend."

Naruto paused, then took a deep breath and looked at Hinata. "In my situation, the villager and many ninja are hostile for an unknown reason. I do not understand why. However, since hostility seemed more pronounced after my early successes, I decided to fake being a failure so that hostility was diluted to simple contempt, which allowed me greater freedom of movement. Once I have attained enough skill, personal opinions of the majority of the village will be outweighed by my usefulness, and I will gain influence accordingly."

Ibiki smiled cryptically. "And do you think you have gained enough skill?"

"No," Naruto replied simply.

"Oh? How much farther do you have to go?" Ibiki wanted to know.

"I am closer than I was." He didn't elaborate farther.

"Do you agree, Hyuga-san?" Ibiki asked, turning back to Hinata.

Hinata bobbed her head assent. "Naruto has gotten very strong. I believe him to be the best of our class."

"Despite his grades?"

"Despite his grades."

"And do you think he is not yet strong enough to gain the respect of his peers, despite the aforementioned unexplained hostility?" His eyes seemed to bore into hers, and despite the Hyuga being masters of penetrating stares, Hinata hesitated.

That was all the answer Ibiki needed, and Naruto frowned slightly.

"Ah, so, Naruto, explain your reasoning for the advice you offered," Ibiki continued, as if Hinata had answered.

"Much like my own situation, Hinata is held in contempt by her clan," Naruto replied, as if he'd been waiting for the question. "Despite her obvious potential, and despite being easily the strongest kunoichi in the academy, her standing in her own family has suffered to the point it affected her perception of herself. Such irrational treatment despite training claimed to help her meet her potential has marked her family as an opponent, an enemy. Since the perception of her, again, much like my own image, is of a weakling, if she improves slowly she may gain some notice but will never shed the reputation of being a failure. Only a surprise, crushing victory that leaves everyone in awe will destroy her stigma. As there are no fast routes to skill, only by hiding her true abilities can she give the impression of sudden power, leaving her enemies unsure exactly how long she's hidden her agenda. From underestimation to wary overestimation almost instantly. And with no clear idea of her complete abilities and a certain indication of her power, her family must give her deferential treatment."

"Wordy, but clear enough," Ibiki said with mild amusement.

Naruto flushed.

"Well, that's a valid approach," he continued, looking again to Hinata. "So do you believe you have the ability to pull off the awe inspiring victory the plan requires?"

"I do," she said clearly.

"You do?"

"Yes, I do." _Because Naruto says I do._

Toying absently with his empty teacup, he turned back to Naruto. "And you, Naruto. You have hidden your abilities very well. But you realize that the flaw in your plan is your grades, right? It is fine to fool your peers, but playing the fool to your teachers is not necessarily an appropriate ploy."

"Iruka-sensei knows. I do not believe he will judge me from my grades. I could pass the final exam now, at any rate."

Ibiki shook his head. "You assume that the grades do not matter, given that the exam guarantees graduation. That is not entirely the case."

Naruto looked concerned. "Really? I thought that the grades were just used to show a shinobi's potential for future assignments. Iruka-sensei has seen me fight, spy, and infiltrate. He knows I know seals and sealing. The only other skill I seem to have real aptitude for isn't something they train for in the academy."

"Well, Hyuga-san, it has been a pleasure to meet you," Ibiki said without preamble. "I would like to chat further, but I'm afraid I have a pressing assignment at work it's time I got back to."

Hinata blinked, surprised for several moments. Wasn't he going to explain what he'd said to Naruto? "Oh, well, uh, okay. Thank you for having me." She winced at her own hesitant words. He kept jumping conversational tracks, as if he were deliberately keeping her off balance.

She rose when Naruto rose, and followed him as they were escorted to the door.

"By the way, Hyuga-san, has Naruto told you what I do?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No, Ibiki-san. He says you have a very important job, and that is all. I have not asked further."

"Would you like to know?" He looked slightly expectant.

She nodded.

"I am the head of ANBU's torture and interrogation squad. One day, you should get Naruto to tell you the story of how we met. You might want to know what you're getting into if you're going to become friends with Naruto."

o/~

"You wanted to speak with me, Mizuki-sensei?" Naruto asked, using his public voice. They were in the teacher's office after school, and Iruka wasn't present, having other business elsewhere. He looked at the older man interestedly. Mizuki was one of the people who knew he hid his true skill, and had been present for some of Iruka's informal tutoring sessions where he tried to gauge Naruto's abilities.

Mizuki tapped the edges of a stack of papers until they made a neat pile, then lay them on his desk in a tray. "I have a special assignment for you, Naruto."

Naruto nodded brightly. He liked special assignments. Some of them were hard as hell, but he'd learned valuable information from every special assignment he'd ever been given. And he'd never given up, he'd completed them all. Ibiki wasn't completely satisfied with the results of his mission to make friends, but at least he was talking to him again.

"Your grades are horrible, Naruto. You know that. I don't know if you are aware of it or not, but grades have a lot to do with your final assignments as a shinobi, not just passing the academy. Students particularly gifted at math are training in business, finance, or cryptography. Students with tracking skills often get assigned to teams designed to make maximum use of those skills. And grades are our way of determining those skills."

"You know I've deliberately failed those tests, though."

Mizuki nodded. "Yes, we're aware that you're much more than you appear to be. If we had a column in our grade books for 'deceiving and manipulating classmates, teachers, and all of Konoha', well, I'd be the first to mark down an 'A'."

Naruto allowed himself a small grin.

Mizuki grinned back, although his was a great deal more rueful. "I'll admit it, kid, you're the best I've ever seen at infiltration your age. You even had me fooled for the longest time." He paused. "But, you're so good, no one who hasn't seen your abilities would believe it. And teacher recommendations only go so far. Any jonin looking to take a genin team will look at grades first. And yours are so bad most of them are going to just look right over you."

Ah. That was what Ibiki had meant. Naruto was glad to finally have that bit of information. Getting anything out of Ibiki was like hunting tiger mushrooms. Easiest just to find someone else to give it to you.

"So, because you deserve better than that, it's been decided to give you a special make up test, to show what you can really do. This will ensure you get picked by a jonin-sensei based off your real skills, so you need to do your best." He gave Naruto a cryptic smile. "But you shouldn't have any trouble. After all, this is a solo mission, and your goal is to be unobserved. No one to break cover to."

Naruto frowned. That sounded a bit condescending.

Mizuki noticed his expression, then hastened to explain. "You're getting a mission based on a simple mission type. Locate and retrieve. There is a scroll of powerful jutsu in the Hokage tower, that is your target. Your goal is to sneak in, get the scroll, verify that it does contain jutsu, get out, and return it to me. For the purposes of this mission I will be a sleeper agent, going about my daily life. Your primary goal is to get the scroll to me without compromising my identity. Your secondary goal is to avoid compromising your identity. Should you be chased, do not lead pursuers to my location until you have avoided them."

Naruto looked actually eager for the first time Mizuki had ever seen.

"Where should I meet you?"

"I will be waiting for you at training ground six at one in the morning. You have all evening and half of the night to complete your task."

"This is a difficult mission," Naruto said thoughtfully. "What support do I have?"

"It is a difficult mission. You don't think you make up for years of barely passing grades with just an essay, do you?" Mizuki replied sarcastically. "You have no support. Think of it this way, this mission is the result of a long series of near failures. Your only hope to make up for it is to complete your mission with distinction. No backup. No support but what you can create on your own." He gave the blond a cruel smile. "Of course, if you really aren't that good, I guess we can-"

"No!" Naruto all but shouted. "I just wanted to be clear on the situation. I can do this." His eyes positively blazed. "I will do this. Now tell me about the scroll. Where is it and what does it look like."

o/~

"Naru…ko!" Hinata called, running quickly over to the blonde girl carrying two shopping bags.

Naruto looked up, surprised for a moment. He'd been so busy planning tonight's raid she hadn't noticed her approach. "Oh, hi, Hinata-chan. What are you doing?" she said brightly.

"Coming to find you," she replied, falling into step beside her. "My father is busy today, so I got some extra free time. What are you doing? Shopping?"

"Oh." Naruto considered that for a moment, thought about his mission, then decided it couldn't hurt. "Guess what, Hinata, I've got a mission!" she said, her voice breathy with excitement. "I bought some clothes to help with the mission."

"A mission? What kind?" Hinata asked.

"It's like homework, Mizuki-sensei gave me a special assignment to make up for all the bad grades I made." She paused and scratched her jaw. "It's actually really hard," she admitted, before brightening. "I love it!"

Hinata smiled at Naruto's enthusiasm. He was usually so serious, but now that he had something to do, he was as bright and happy as he always was pranking people in class. "Really? That's great, Naruko!" she enthused. "What are you supposed to do?"

Naruto glanced around at the people on the street, then motioned for Hinata to follow. They soon found themselves on a rooftop overlooking a deserted alley. Rooftops were sort of cliche as clandestine meeting places, but this wasn't exactly high security.

"I'm supposed to steal a scroll from the Hokage's library," he began quietly. "It's full of some really amazing jutsu, or so I was told. I can't wait to see it, I've been wanting to get a look in that library since I was a kid!"

"Wow," Hinata replied. "Can you read the scroll?"

"Yeah!" Naruto replied happily. "I'm supposed to read and verify it's got jutsu in it, and take it back to Mizuki-sensei by one in the morning."

"Where at?" She hesitated, then couldn't resist asking. "And can you have a partner?" Her. A partner with _Naruto_. It was everything she dreamed of.

"Training ground six. But no, sorry, this is a solo mission," he said apologetically, and Hinata was struck by the difference it made for him to have an important assignment. He'd never been so… friendly. So alive.

"I wish I could have you, too," he continued, and Hinata nearly fainted. He wanted to have her with him? "I could really use a backup to distract the guards, and a big part of the mission is making sure that no one follows me back to Mizuki-sensei. You'd be my first pick for that. But I have to do it on my own."

"Oh." Hinata was disappointed. But it still cheered her up that he wanted her there, even if she couldn't be. "So how are you going to do it? Isn't the Hokage tower really well guarded?"

Naruto nodded ruefully. "Yeah, it's a hell of a problem. I mean, I could probably just walk in like I am, they let in unscheduled appointments sometimes, but I don't think that'd work if this was a real mission. So I'm going to transform into one of the assistants and sneak in."

"But why the clothes?"

"Hensou no jutsu, it's how I turn into a girl," Naruto replied, reaching in a bag and pulling some clothes out for Hinata to see. "It's harder to detect than a henge, but it doesn't change your clothes, so I have to get others." She swayed her hips provocatively, looking down at herself. "I don't think they know that I know this sexy jutsu, all I should know is the henge, so if they're looking for someone they know is henged, I can slip by them by exploiting what they think they know."

Hinata blinked, tried to follow, then shook her head. "That sounds really complicated, Naruto."

He shrugged. "It's not, really. I've already picked one of the administrative workers there, I've got clothes just like hers, I'll change my appearance so I look just like her, and I should be able to sneak in just fine."

"What about getting out with the scroll?"

Naruto winced. "Okay, that, I'm still working on."

o/~

Hinata wandered the streets aimlessly, sticking close to the tower. She was excited, for Naruto, bored, because Naruto wasn't with her, and happy, because she wasn't stuck in the Hyuga compound all evening again. What a great day.

She cheered silently when the tower suddenly burst into a silent buzz of activity, masked ninja flickering in and out so fast she honestly couldn't follow some of them.

That only meant one thing. Naruto must have succeeded.

Surprisingly, a stern voice ANBU in a frowning lizard mask appeared in front of her almost immediately.

"State your name and affiliation," the cold voice demanded.

Hinata shivered at the restrained killing intent. Whoever this person was behind the mask, they were not happy. "A-ano, Hinata Hyuga. I'm an academy student," she said hesitantly.

"Do know Naruto Uzumaki?"

A wave of disappointment washed over her. Naruto had been discovered. "Y-yes, I know Naruto-kun," she replied. "We're in the same class in the academy."

"Have you seen Naruto Uzumaki?"

She nodded, and in an instant a hand as hard a steel gripped her arm.

"Where is he?"

Hinata froze. "I-I-I…"

"Hey, that's one of my students!" came a call from the street behind them.

They both turned to see Mizuki and Iruka running towards them.

"She claims to have seen Naruto Uzumaki," the cold voice stated, as if that explained everything.

Iruka looked at her with concern. "Is that true, Hinata? Where did you see him?"

Oh no! She was NOT going to blow Naruto's assignment after he'd trusted her enough to tell her about it.

"Ah, ah, at… school…" she said meekly. She wasn't sure, but she thought that the ANBU frowned at her. Without using her byakugan, she couldn't be sure, and she was willing to bet that he'd take that as a sign of hostile intent.

"She is prevaricating," the ANBU stated emotionlessly.

"She's shy," Iruka countered. "You're scaring the hell out of her, let her go. And what's this about Naruto? What's he done this time?"

What's he done? Hinata wondered. That was a strange question.

"Naruto Uzumaki has stolen a valuable scroll of kinjutsu from the Hokage's library. Currently, all available ANBU are out looking for him, with orders to bring the scroll back at any cost."

"At any cost!?" Iruka exclaimed. "You're going to kill him?"

"Only if it becomes necessary. If possible, he will be captured and turned over to Ibiki."

Hinata's blood ran cold. This didn't sound like any sort of special assignment she'd ever heard of. Even if it was crafted just for Naruto, the ANBU sounded like he meant it. They were really going to go after Naruto with deadly force. And from the way Ibiki had been mentioned, she didn't think Naruto was just going to be given a lecture.

"I always knew that kid was no good," Mizuki spat. "I know you liked him, Iruka, but no one who hides his skills away from everyone like that can be trusted."

Iruka rounded on his fellow teacher. "Don't tell me you honestly believe he's a sleeper agent! He's been checked out, by EVERYONE!"

Mizuki shrugged. "And yet he stole a scroll of kinjutsu. I tell you Iruka, just because he's not an agent doesn't mean he's not the enemy, what with-" his teeth snapped together with an audible click and his eyes widened at what he'd nearly said in front of a child.

What?! WHAT?! Hinata wanted to scream, so upset she was trembling.

Iruka noticed and crouched beside her. "Hey, Hinata-chan, why don't you go back home. I'm sure everything will turn out all right. But right now, the streets aren't the place to be, okay?"

Nodding dumbly, Hinata stumbled away when the ANBU released her arm. Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Naruto had been noticed, but gotten away anyway. But now ANBU were hunting him with deadly intent and their teachers weren't saying anything about an assignment to steal the scroll.

It just wasn't right!

"Naruto," she whispered. Naruto needed to know this. Naruto would know what to do.

Activating her byakugan, she scanned her surroundings for any pursuers as she carefully slipped through the streets of Konoha, heading for training ground six.

She'd never moved so fast before, but she'd never been so scared. She practically flew through the woods, her short hair ruffling like mad in the breeze of her passage. It didn't take all that long before she arrived at the training ground, but Naruto was conspicuously absent. Even the byakugan couldn't find him.

"Naruto?" she called quietly, slipping through the trees surrounding the area. There was no answer. Afraid to call louder, she resigned herself to the fact that he wasn't there. But she had no chance at all of finding him if he was hiding elsewhere. She'd just have to hope he managed to avoid ANBU long enough to make it there.

Concealing herself to the best of her ability a good ways away from the clearing, she gave the area one last scan with her byakugan, then stayed still to conserve chakra. It was going to be a long wait.

o/~

"Wow… This jutsu is amazing," Naruto exclaimed quietly to himself, so caught up in reading the scroll he momentarily forgot he was hiding. Chagrined, he popped his head above the thick camouflage cloth and glanced around nervously. It had gotten dark while he'd read, and he hadn't noticed because he'd been reading by the light of a tiny pocket flashlight, beneath the concealing cloth.

Today was the best day ever. A fascinating mission, difficult, but possible, and he'd pulled it off and gotten out without being caught! And now, he had this scroll of the most incredible jutsu he'd ever heard of to study!

Unfortunately, nothing really made much sense. Most of it was variations on jutsu he'd never heard of, and while he could read the instructions, they were useless if you didn't know the originals. The flaming mud katon/doton jutsu looked like a really powerful offense, but he didn't know ANY katon or doton jutsu, much less the A ranks he needed.

But there were so many techniques, although most of them were sealing jutsu. Here was one for sealing someone's soul, although the warnings that it invariably meant death for the user made him skip it over in favor of learning something more useful. Here was another, which he found considerably more interesting, how to create scrolls that could summon people or animals. And another was a description of how contract summoning techniques could be modified by changing the seals so that only part of the animal was summoned. The example used was toads, and Naruto could see how summoning just the extendable, sticky tongue of a giant toad would make a useful and unpredictable weapon. But he didn't have a summoning contract, so the point was kind of moot. He didn't spend much time reading the jutsus after he realized that he wouldn't be able to use them.

But the best one he'd found was the first one on the scroll. Kage bushin no jutsu. A real clone who could fight and act and camouflage you while you fought? That was so perfect it might have been made for just him. And he could actually learn it! Dismissing everything else the scroll offered, Naruto had fell to studying with a will.

And, with a start, he realized it was almost time to meet Mizuki. With regret, knowing that the scroll still had much to offer, he rolled it back up and hung it on a cord behind his back. The mission was what was important, after all.

Slowly and carefully, he picked his way through the blackness of the forest, making his way to training ground six.

There was no one there. Good. He was early, anyway. It'd give him another few minutes to read over the other jutsu. He had just sat down at the edge of the woods when a faint call reached his ears.

"What? Hinata?" he asked, replied. "What are you doing here?"

"Naruto!" she hissed, her agitation making her louder than she wanted to be. "Something isn't right! I came to find you!"

His blood ran cold, and for a moment everything dwindled to a point. Something wasn't right.

"I was near the Hokage tower when they discovered that you'd stolen the scroll," she explained, creeping close to him silently in the darkness.

"What?!" he exclaimed. "Me? They knew who I was?"

"They asked for you by name," she confirmed. "An ANBU started questioning me, when Iruka-sensei and Mizuki-sensei showed up. ANBU are looking for you, and they'll use deadly force if you resist! And if they catch you, they're going to give you to Ibiki-san!"

Naruto's breath caught in his throat. "Looks like resisting is the best option, then," he said faintly.

Her heart broke to see Naruto so off balance, but he had to know.

"Iruka-sensei and Mizuki-sensei didn't say anything about your mission! They even said you were an enemy of Konoha!"

Betrayed.

Lied to.

Manipulated.

"Naruto! Naruto!" she hissed frantically, shaking him roughly. "Someone's coming!"

With a start, Naruto realized he had missed the last several minutes, caught up in a murderous rage. Shrugging off Hinata's hand, he stalked into the clearing just as the other man arrived.

"Naruto-kun!" the man called.

Every word, every syllable out of the man's mouth grated on Naruto's nerves.

"Good job! I do believe you've passed!" Mizuki added, walking closer, seemingly unconcerned. The fact that the man was still breathing was an affront to Naruto's sensitivities.

"You lied to me," Naruto said quietly.

"Eh?" He stopped, looking at the boy.

"You lied to me," Naruto repeated, louder. "You lied, and you betrayed me!"

The last came out high pitched, almost like a whine.

Mizuki jumped back, warily. "Figured it out, huh? Not bad." He smiled cruelly. "But not good enough to pass. You're entirely too late now."

"WHY?" Naruto cried, his voice anguished. "Why would you and Iruka-sensei do this?! I trusted you! I TRUSTED YOU!" he wailed.

Mizuki laughed. "For a smart ass, you're pretty dumb, ain't you? I wanted the scroll, obviously. So I conned you into getting it for me. Easy." He chuckled again. "All I had to do was dangle a 'special' assignment in front of you and you jumped in head first. You may be pretty smart, kid, but you're so wrapped up in how intelligent you are that you forgot something."

Naruto was trembling, and one hand slowly felt its way behind his back, reaching for the hilt of his poisoned wakizashi.

Mizuki gave him a look of pure contempt. "This is a ninja village. You think you're the only one hiding something? Fool. And now, since you've brought me the scroll, managed to get all the blame placed on yourself, and are now all alone here in the woods, just like you are the rest of the time. I'll kill you, take the scroll, and anyone finding your corpse will decide that you passed it on to enemy ninja, but were betrayed and killed to tie up loose ends." He smirked, pulling a huge shuriken from a bundle on his back. "Maybe you could learn something from your sensei, if you paid attention once in a while. Now DIE!" He hurled the shuriken at Naruto's torso.

Naruto dived to the side, then sprang at his hated enemy, his dripping blade hidden in the darkness as he lunged, trying to bury it in Mizuki's throat.

Mizuki slapped his hand aside, and his follow up punch bounced off the wide blade of another shuriken the chunin readied. He slashed with the oversized blade in return, overpowering Naruto's block and scoring a slight cut on his forearm.

Naruto's counter kick slapped satisfyingly into Mizuki's thigh, but did little real damage as Naruto scrambled backwards, throwing a handful of regular shuriken at the chunin, who blocked easily with his huge version.

Mizuki whirled his arm, throwing the shuriken at Naruto, who again dodged hastily, but didn't ready another one instantly.

Naruto charged, then jumped high for all he was worth as the blade, guided by a wire, looped through the air and returned, nearly taking his leg off as it passed. Mizuki caught it easily, then held it high as Naruto fell towards him, his curved blade ringing against the thick steel.

And Mizuki lashed out with an elbow, catching Naruto in the ribs, sending him flying and causing him to lose grip on his blade.

"Too bad you never fought like that in class, eh, Naruto?" Mizuki said conversationally, catching the hilt of the tumbling knife. "What the hell? Is this poison?" he exclaimed once the smell of the thick gum on the blade hit his nose. "You do have surprises up your sleeve, don't you? What else you got?"

Naruto gasped for breath, holding his stomach for a moment as he climbed to his feet. He eyed the chunin warily. "Yeah, I have a few left. Tell me what you think of this one." He formed a seal. "Kage bushin no jut-urk!" He stared at the hilt of the knife, driven into his chest just below his collarbone.

"One last lesson, kid," Mizuki said, readying his shuriken. "Don't give away your intentions in a fight. If you'd acted normal when I first showed up, you might have had a chance at me when I took the scroll."

Naruto twitched violently and fell to his knees, feeling the poison of the tiger mushroom coursing through his body. Cramps seized his stomach, and bile spilled from his mouth, though he didn't have the muscle control to vomit. A scream built in his throat, but it came out as only a high moan.

Mizuki stared at him dispassionately. "Figures an evil little bastard like you would pick a nasty poison. I bet that hurts."

"Uuuuaaaahhhhh…" Naruto moaned his arms and legs twitching violently as he hugged his stomach and writhed on the ground.

Mizuki chuckled. "This is actually kind of entertaining. I bet there are a lot of people in the village that would like to see you like this, demon." He chuckled. "To think, I'd be the one to actually kill the Kyubi no Kitsune." He cocked one ear at the boy moaning in agony. "Oh, what's that? Something else you never figured out? Why everyone hates you? It's because you've got the nine tailed fox in you, kid. You're evil. You're a demon. No one's ever figured out why the Hokage let you live."

Naruto gasped something and squirmed on the ground.

Mizuki bent lower. "Huh? What's that, kid? What are your dying words?"

The blade of the second wakizashi wasn't poisoned, but it was over a foot of razor sharp steel, and it went in, and out, of Mizuki's calf like it was butter. An involuntary, full body twitch twisted the blade, and Mizuki's hasty hop away caused it to tear through the muscle and fly out of Naruto's hands at the same time.

"AHHH! You little demon! I'll kill you!" Mizuki snarled, crouching twenty feet away as he checked the damage. His chunin vest produced a cloth bandage which he quickly wrapped around the wound, which bled badly.

"I said," Naruto gasped, struggling to his knees for a brief moment before falling over again, "kill before you gloat."

"Naruto!"came a new voice, and everyone glanced to see Iruka running in at full tilt. "Mizuki!"

"Hi, Iruka," Mizuki said, his voice full of false cheer. "It's a nice night to kill a demon, isn't it?" He hurled the shuriken.

No thoughts went through Iruka's head. There was no time to think. One of his students was in danger. There was no time for anything.

The point of the huge shuriken sank into flesh with a crackle of bone and gristle. Iruka fell forward with a soft cry.

Naruto stared into Iruka's eyes in horror.

"You're not a demon," Iruka said gently, blood beginning to trickle from his mouth. His scar, far from making him look ugly or cruel, seemed almost saintly.

"Damn, Iruka, sacrificing yourself for that thing?" Mizuki said, hobbling forward with his last shuriken. "But you always did have a soft spot for the little demon. Ah, well. At least you can die together." He raised his weapon, and there was a sound, like a quiet eruption somewhere muffled. An explosion in flesh. And another, right on top of the first. And another, a rapid sequence of sound and chakra, like someone was beating a drum at a furious pace. Mizuki stiffened, and blood fountained from his mouth.

He keeled over without a sound.

Behind him, Hinata stood, one foot forward, one hand still extended in the final strike of her family's juken style, not even breathing heavily.

Iruka gaped, then looked at Naruto, who was still grimacing in pain and twitching.

"I… I thought you were like Mizuki-sensei," Naruto gasped. "I thought you had lied to me, too."

"No, Naruto. Some people you _can_ trust." He glanced up at Hinata, who was approaching warily, her eyes hard. "But I guess you've finally learned that lesson, as well."

His brow crinkled, and he rolled slowly off his student. "Now, will someone please explain what was going on?"

X

X

Naruto strode firmly onto the school grounds, following the milling, chatting students. Hinata was waiting for him, leaned against the wall close to the entrance. She straightened as he approached, looking at him expectantly.

He gave her a curt nod, and she nodded back. She fell into step behind him as he made his way into the building to their classroom.


	4. Clients Lie: one

"Team seven," Iruka called. "Naruto Uzumaki."

Naruto sat up slightly straighter. Finally.

"Hinata Hyuga."

"Thanks," Naruto muttered under his breath. He'd specifically asked to be partnered with Hinata. After all, she was the one who'd saved his life. They worked well together.

"Sasuke Uchiha."

"What the hell?" he said out loud.

Clients Lie.

"Sasuke, break left. The cat just hid under the little bush, but Kohta is shadowing you at 5 o' clock." Naruto's voice sounded even and unhurried, but I knew what our opponents didn't: it was really Hinata, henged into him. I guess her own opponent, 'Ken', wasn't pushing her yet.

I moved left, as suggested, tossing two senbon with tiny flash bombs attached over my shoulder, and quickly set myself to cover the straightest trail leading away from the bush, should the cat try to bolt. 'Kohta' was behind a tree when I threw the senbon, so he wouldn't have seen them.

Heavy rustling in the trees to my right revealed a half dozen Narutos spreading out in a circle to heard the cat, and three more with their attention directed the opposite direction, no doubt on the watch for 'Ken'. At least one of them was Hinata, and one of them might be Naruto, just like it was just as likely they were all clones.

Abruptly, 'Hinata', and even I didn't know if it was really Naruto or just a clone, scampered along tree branches on the other side of the cat, flinging kunai at 'Kumeta', who was hot on her trail.

I couldn't get used to the stupid names Naruto came up with. All of our 'enemies' today were clones, henged into caracitures of bandits or shinobi. Their mission was to kill the cat. Our mission was to capture it, alive.

This was Naruto's solution to the problem of Kakashi-sensei frequently being off on other duties, leaving us to complete these simple D rank missions by ourselves.

Simple minded thinking from the liar.

I wouldn't have resented it nearly as much if I didn't know his clones would actually kill the cat if we failed. Fail Naruto's 'training', fail the real mission as well.

Hinata just nodded and agreed, like she always did to Naruto's suggestions, leaving me to put up with their antics.

"Flash," I said quietly into my radio, then closed my eyes and triggered the two flash bombs at the feet of my opponent. The clone reeled in shock and blindness as I darted around behind him, then plunged a kunai in his back. It disappeared with a burst of smoke.

Once, I'd stabbed Naruto that way, when he'd been hiding as a clone. The memory made me smile.

"Damn it, Sasuke!" his voice crackled over the radio. "The idea was to have to fight them the whole way!"

I smirked, pleased. But I will admit I was impressed when suddenly 'Hinata', changed course, her opponent still following, and shadowed the fleeing, paniced cat from above as her opponent threw senbon, effortlessly weaving and dodging around the needles. Only the real Hinata could do that, so how was Naruto…

Ah.

Kawarimi.

Naruto-as-Hinata had swapped places with the real Hinata, each dropping their henge as they did so, seamlessly taking the place of the other. That struck me as a really good idea, the enemy could get used to fighting one with a certain fighting style, then if he suddenly spotted a weakness or the fighting styles were a poor match, a substitution could be made, surprising the enemy with all new skills.

Damn that Naruto.

Kumeta was closing with Hinata, and I knew from previous experience that she would abide by Naruto's restrictions and not kill the clone.

So I did it for her with a flicked kunai, and kept pace to sheild her from other enemies.

"Great, Sasuke!" Naruto called.

'Great?' A moment ago he was cursing me for disrupting his plan. Show some consistency, you clanless bastard.

A split second after that, Hinata landed in front of the startled cat and snatched it from the ground with one lightning grab.

"Taju kage bushin no jutsu!"

What?!

I glanced back, and Naruto… fled? at the front of a huge pack of clones, all throwing senbon at him, a veritable hail of needles.

The first wave struck… and a moment later a log, spiked with senbon, was trampled under the feet of over three dozen clones.

I couldn't fight that many all at once. Naruto was too close to my own skill for me to take him on in numbers. But I had to keep them from reaching Hinata. I moved to intercept.

Naruto suddenly stood in my path, moving quickly enough I hadn't seen him until he emerged from behind a tree and leaped.

"Wait, Sasuke," he said, moving his left hand over his head in an 'over me' gesture. The clone army obediently leapt over us in a wave, a rainbow of Narutos, though the only colors represented were orange and black.

I glanced at him as I followed the wave moving towards Hinata.

"She's been working on something new, some family technique. This is a good time to test it," he offered, not looking at me. Together, we leapt for a good view of the upcoming fight.

I did not often interfere in his treatment of Hinata. It was their business. My own thoughts on the matter… Well. Hinata was certainly getting stronger. She could even land hits on Kakashi-sensei if he fought close.

I know Hinata saw the incoming wave of Narutos, and I believe she knew that it couldn't be good for her. I just barely caught a glimpse of her as she shoved the screaming, hissing cat inside her grey jacket and pulled on the drawstrings, temporarily trapping the cat inside as she took some sort of formal stance. Then, as the first wave of inbound senbon reached her, she seemed to blur, even to my eyes.

"Hakke Rokujuyon Sho," Naruto said quietly, sensing my interest. "Some family technique she's been working on, but she's trying to use a variation."

I didn't know what the variation was, but as I watched Hinata start slowly turning in a circle, her torso whipping like mad in all directions and her arms a windmill around her, sending senbon flying by harmlessly or deflecting them away, I marked it as something I intended to learn. Without an area effect jutsu, I'd be hard pressed to avoid that many senbon, myself.

"It's weak as defense," Naruto muttered, seeming somewhat disappointed.

Harsh. But true. She wasn't using her feet for anything but movement, and her movements were taxed as she sought to deflect the needles aimed at her legs as well. Additionally, if she was that fast, she should be catching the senbon and sending them back at the attackers. That would be a technique worth knowing.

And, slowly, kunai began to be mixed into the hundreds of senbon hurtling towards the kunoichi.

I knew Hinata was helplessly in love with Naruto. I knew he knew it as well. But unlike me, he actually returned some of her attention.

When I first met them, I thought that, despite their skills, they would be a hindrance to me, too wrapped up in pointless things like 'love' to fight. I will admit, I was wrong. Hinata followed his orders, as I knew the liar wanted me to, but she would offer up her opinons on things as well. And no one, not me, not Kakashi-sensei, was harder on her when training.

Here I stood, watching Naruto do his best to kill the girl in love with him. He'd do it, too. I had no doubt.

A smile tugged at my face as I imagined myself throwing the kunai and some of the more insistent girls who chased me in the middle of that rain of steel.

"Glad you're enjoying the show," he said mockingly.

I scowled and looked back at Hinata.

"She lost to you in less than five minutes yesterday," Naruto continued.

Five minutes, yeah. She wasn't on my level yet, though she was easily the best kunoichi to come from our class, and probably better than most of the males. Naruto… Naruto might be on my level. One of these days, I'd press the issue. I was curious how long it'd take me to beat him.

Both of our eyes widened as there was suddenly a change in the pattern of deflection. Her movements weren't as smooth, not quite as quick.

"She's taken…"

"a hit," I finished.

"She's got to improve if she's going to be anything but a set of eyes for us," Naruto said grimly. "And the quickest way to improve is to fight for your life against impossible odds."

He took a deep breath.

"DON'T LOSE, HINATA!" he shouted, and with a roar from the clones, the rain of deadly steel doubled.

Naruto wore two pouches, these days, and even with dozens and dozens of clones, he must have packed them to the very limit with senbon, which he rarely used. For training like this, it made sense. Despite his lethal intent, I doubt he really wanted to kill her, and senbon did the least damage of the three common thrown weapons.

Hinata's movements changed again, and again, brief bits of hesitation, a gradual slowing, a redoubling of efforts, as she was hit again, and again. Her spin grew faster, her legs dancing, and she began slowly winding through the trees, trying to get out of the circle of clones.

With luck, and, admittedly, a bit of skill on the Hyuga's part, none of the needles or knives would hit the struggling cat in her jacket.

Without so much a warning as a slight decrease in volume, the attack suddenly stopped, and Hinata stopped her mad whirl, one arm extended, the other crooked back and to one side. She was perfectly still, except for the rustling and yowling under her jacket that said the cat was still alive, and very, very unhappy.

Her left forearm had nearly half a dozen needles buried in it, four in her back, and the worst looking but least disabling was one stuck right in her left cheek, close to her mouth. I kept my face impassive.

"Way to go Hin-"

She exploded into motion, and suddenly, for a shining moment, the air was alive with senbon flowing outwards, and then she wasn't there any more.

Two dozen clones died in an instant as the senbon hit, their speed leaving Hinata's hands far greater than anything the clones had managed. And then she was among them, and she began to kill.

Naruto's words choked off, then he recovered. "Not bad. I suppose that makes up for the pitiful technique. And she kept the cat safe, so we didn't even fail the mission."

I frowned at him. The fool really needed to come up with a way to train his pet kunoichi that didn't run the risk of us failing a mission. Even a D. I did not intend to be on a team that failed missions.

Hinata landed in front of us heavily. Naturally, since she had to be exhausted. With quick, jerky movements, she opened the front of her jacket, removed the flailing cat, and hurled it at Naruto with a convulsive movement.

Naruto came alive as the cat flew at him, and with a deftness close to my own, the cat was quickly wrapped up in cloth and tied, only its screaming head left in the open.

Hinata sank to her knees and breathed heavily. I saw that all of the senbon, even the ones in her back, had been removed already, doubtlessly thrown at the tormenting Naruto clones. The little hole in her cheek was bleeding. Her lips were red with her blood, and with her pale skin framed in dark hair, she looked like a geisha with powdered skin and painted lips.

It actually looked good on her.

Naruto pulled medical supplies from his black and orange jacket. "Come on, lets see how bad it is."

Hinata hesitated, looking at me.

Odd.

But, after that inscrutable look, she slipped off her jacket.

…Oh. That was it.

Instead of a normal shirt, underneath she wore fine armored mesh, and a brief, very brief, set of wrappings around her breasts for support. I was remined forcibly that she also had the largest breasts of any kunoichi our age.

But she also had dozens of short, ragged lines across her breasts and stomach, cuts from the cat's claws that weeped blood, red standing out starkly against black wire mesh and pale white skin.

I did NOT blush.

But I did turn away, giving her some privacy.

"Kind of moot, Sasuke," Naruto said as he worked. "We may not have yet, but we will eventually be given long missions in the field together. Can't turn your back on a comrade, any halfway decent ninja would look for an opportunity like that." From the sound of things, I believe he slipped her mesh armor off, and then I could swear I heard cloth rustle as chest wrappings fell away.

I did NOT look. But a mental image came to mind, and I willed it to go away.

"I don't mind you seeing," Hinata said quietly.

But I knew she did mind. Only one person could make her say something like that.

Naruto.

I had to get out of here.

"I'll carry the cat back and turn it in," I volunteered, picking up the squirming feline.

"Wait, we're supposed to complete missions as a team-" he protested, but I was already leaping away.

o/

"I think we made him uncomfortable, ne, Hinata-chan?" Naruto said lightly as they watched the last Uchiha flee through the trees.

Hinata nodded shyly and swallowed the hot, coppery blood leaking in from her cheek. She was blushing furiously, and if anything, that made the hole in her cheek bleed even more. Fortunately, despite the fact the needle had peirced her cheek, she'd actually caught it with a snap of her jaw, which kept it from burying itself in the back of her throat or knocking out teeth.

Naruto sighed theatrically. "I swear, that guy is so uptight, if you shoved a lump of coal up his ass and showed him a tit, you'd have a diamond."

Hinata giggled at the thought, then hissed as Naruto applied a harsh smelling antiseptic ointment to the ragged scratches on her breasts and stomach. But other than tightening her muscles at the sting, she made no motion to get away, resist, or even cover her chest, even when his calloused thumb traced a long, curving cut that came within an inch of her left nipple. She wondered what he thought of the under-outfit she'd picked out for the day.

"Tell me what you need to work on," he ordered quietly, not pausing his treatments.

She nodded seriously. "Footwork. I was too slow to move outside the kill zone. I also need to be able to deflect with my feet. Juken doesn't use kicks, so if I go against my family and use kicks, I will have an advantage." She waited to see how he would respond, licking blood from her lips. Really, despite the massive amount of chakra she'd just expended forcing herself to move so fast, she wasn't too tired. Kneeling in front of Naruto, bare from the waist up, her breasts on display… it was all very exciting.

She couldn't quite stop the thrill that ran up her spine. She was sure Naruto noticed it, and she blushed more. Naruto always noticed how she was feeling.

"You also need to be faster with your hands. If you'd caught the senbon and used them for attack, you could have quickly reduced the attackers to a manageable level," Naruto admonished.

She flushed. "But you said not to kill your clones."

Abruptly his hand had her chin in a grip like steel, and he turned her so he could look her directly in the eye. "When your life is on the line, rules do not matter. Do what it takes."

Her white eyes watered, and her breath came in short hitches and gasps. She nodded as best she could with her chin in his hand.

"I need you," he added after a moment, his grip easing, his face softening. "Don't die on me now."

Her heart skipped a beat.

He leaned in and kissed her, licking her own blood from her lips with his tongue. She would have swooned… but Naruto didn't put up with that sort of behavior. He let her go.

His lips were stained red.

"So how much damage did you take in your arm?" he asked, breaking the spell.

She gasped, then touched her lips, her finger coming away tinged pink. "Oh! Uh… very little. I couldn't catch them all, but I could move where they would hit and cause the least damage. No tendons, no blood vessels, just muscle tissue and skin." She paused, then added, "The same with my back."

Naruto nodded. "I'll get there in a minute. First I'll wrap your arm." He used more ointment, then wrapped her forearms, both of them, in cotton bandages, all the way down to her hands, which were also nicked and scratched from contact with sharp points and edges as she slapped kunai and senbon away, despite careful application of chakra. His control was rock solid, despite the interesting things moving her arms did to her other assets.

But Hyuga were trained to notice eye movement. Rather than being embarrassed that he looked, she felt pride. He liked her body, and wouldn't let her believe that she was plain and dark.

Naruto said she was the most beautiful girl in Konoha, and Naruto was the only opinion that mattered.

Her back he took his time with, massaging medicine into the deep muscle tissue of her back while she lolled her head in obvious pleasure, and as he applied sticky bandages to each of the puncture wounds, he kissed the side of her neck.

"Mmmm." She arched the side of her neck into his kiss as the massage turned from working soreness out of her muscles into gentle caresses that left her skin pricking and sensitive.

Naruto might have caused her to be hurt more than any other person in her life, including her father, but he also never failed to make it up to her, in some ways equaling the pain with pleasure. She had lost her body modesty months before.

Now, she just wanted him.

He slid around in front of her again to dress her cheek, dabbing a powdered blood clotting agent into the hole in her cheek, which stopped the bleeding almost instantly. Her good behavior faded, though, as she began stroking her cheeks against his hands as he attempted to dress the wound, her eyes half lidded as she kissed his fingers. Blood and medicine and the faint fishy tang of the blood clotting agent, and Naruto kneeling there, looking at her with that mature, ageless face he had she loved so much.

He smiled at her as he finished, then held his arms wide in invitation. She practically swarmed into his lap, despite being slightly shorter, he always made her feel like the most petite girl wrapped in his big strong arms.

He chuckled good naturedly at her antics as he turned the conversation over to Sasuke and how they would deal with him, and she missed the predatory gleam in his eye, despite her focus on him.

She'd already offered herself to him.

One day, he'd take her.

o/

Hinata woke gasping and flushed, biting her sheet as she writhed on her narrow futon. For several long moments, all she could do was lie there, breathing deeply until her heart calmed.

…wow.

Now THAT was a dream. Mmm…

But it was starting to get light outside, and she could use the labeled training dummies while most of her clan were still asleep. It would go a long way towards reinforcing her image as a dutiful but somewhat inept and worthless daughter.

She had an image to maintain after all.

So leaving her sweaty, tangled sheets behind, she slipped on a pair of shorts and a shirt and stepped into the cool morning, leaving behind her dreams of how she and Naruto would christen his office desk when he became Hokage.

o/

I woke up to the sound of a rock bouncing off my window. Repressing a groan, I rose and grabbed my clothes, intending to slip out the front while the annoying person stared at my window.

No such luck.

"Hey, Sasuke! Wake up!"

Oh, it was Naruto. Well, it certainly could have been worse. Last time this happened, it was some brown haired academy girl in glasses, with a scroll of poetry she'd written about me.

Creepy.

It wasn't even that bad of poetry. Kunoichi training or not, it took some talent to have a passage with the line 'I want to bathe you with my tongue' in iambic pentameter. Was even kind of sensual.

But creepy. Yes, definitely creepy.

"Oi, Uchiha!" The tapping on my window grew faster, and with some irritation I twitched the curtains out of the way to reveal Naruto hanging off the outside wall, rapping with one knuckle. Instead of his usual orange and black clothes, he was wearing shorts and a white t-shirt.

"What?" I asked, not bothering to hide my irritation.

"How would you like a free meal?" he asked seriously.

I just looked at him.

"Oh, come on, I'm offering you a job, not trying to seduce you," he complained. "At least open the window and hear me out."

"Hn." I walked away to start getting dressed. I usually showered at night. Kept my bed cleaner.

"Damn it, Sasuke!"

I put on a fresh shirt. I didn't have to see him to imagine that frustrated expression he put on when things didn't go the way he wanted, though, since I wasn't looking, I wondered if he bothered.

"Alright, alright. Just listen. You've got to be tired of these pathetic D rank missions Kakashi's giving us, right?"

"Hn."

He took that as encouragement.

"Yeah, me, too. So I've been doing a little reconnaissance, you know, a little mission planning. And I think I know what mission we're supposed to get today."

I didn't say anything. I had clean shorts laying around here somewhere…

"So I propose we get it before they contract it out. It's an easy job if we use jutsu, but knowing Kakashi-sensei, he'll tell us not to and it'll take all damned afternoon. But if we go knock it out this morning on the side, not only will we still get the money, it'll be easier, and we might get something more interesting this afternoon!" He paused. "Or nothing at all, which would be cool, too."

"Why are you telling me this now?" I asked.

"'Cause I was gonna tell you yesterday after we turned in the cat, but you ran off," he said a bit petulantly. "It's your fault I had to find you this morning."

"Hn." Now for shoes.

"Look, the job is clearing a lot on the edge of town. It's covered in brush and there's a lot of bricks and stuff on the ground. I'd get Hinata, but she's doing some sort of family thing this morning, and you've got better skills for it anyway. Just hit it with a fireball and I'll pick up everything."

I glanced at the window. He smiled at me.

"Hey, I've already talked to the people, and they'll give us each a seven course meal ticket to Aishitoba's. That's better than D rank pay any day. One katon jutsu and a few minutes with my kage bushin and we're done."

That was pretty tempting. Aishitoba's was high end.

"…Alright," I agreed.

"Great!" he said enthusiastically, then paused, looking at me.

After a moment, I got irritated. "What?" I asked curtly.

"Are you gonna get ready?"

"I am ready, fool."

He looked contrite. "Oh. I thought you still needed to comb your hair."

I ground my teeth.

o/

Hinata kneeled primly at the low table, using nothing but pure will to ignore the soreness in her shoulder muscles and arm as she served herself a bowl of rice and some grilled fish. She also poured a cup of steaming tea, and took a drink.

Her sister, Hanabi, kneeled on the opposite side of the table, ignoring her own food at the moment while she stared at Hinata.

"Hmm?" Hinata asked. "Hanabi-chan?"

She just… stared. "Hinata-neechan… your face... it's leaking…" she said quietly, and her eyes kept sliding away, indicating discomfort.

Hinata felt of her at her lips, then felt the trickle of tea hit her jaw line. She blushed and dabbed at it with a napkin. "Oh! Thank you, Hanabi-chan. I didn't know."

Hanabi's chopsticks clattered to the table as Hinata held a finger over the hole in her cheek and took another long drink of tea with a serene expression.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, standing quickly and rushing from the scene.

Hinata watched her go, then ate her rice happily as she smiled after her departing sister.

o/

"They know me as either Naruko or 'that damned brat'," Naruto explained candidly. "And they don't like 'that damned brat' very much. So remember, I'm Naruko," she said, making her voice cute and breathy to go with her gorgeous young female body, "and he's Naruto." She waved a hand negligently at the male clone walking beside them, who looked exactly as Naruto usually looked, with the black and orange jacket over black pants. Naruko was currently wearing a long, chinese style dress of some rose colored fabric, which he'd slipped on over his shirt and shorts after he'd performed the jutsu.

Sasuke glanced at his teammate, both of them, even if it was only one, dubiously.

Naruko shrugged, and the movement did interesting things to her anatomy. "Wouldn't be my first choice of how to go about it, but we use what we have."

"Hn."

Naruto, privately, got a kick out of every time he got the stoic Uchiha to respond, even, no, _especially_ his short, wordless sounds so brief they couldn't even be called grunts.

"There we go," Naruko said cheerfully as they approached a clean, well lit supermarket.

Inside, an elderly woman swept the aisles, and a man of roughly the same age moved boxes behind a counter.

"Good morning, everyone!" Naruko called cheerfully as she walked in, followed by Sasuke and the clone.

"Oh, hello, Naruko-chan!" the woman replied, straightening.

Sasuke wondered at the split second glare she directed in his direction, no, at Naruto's clone behind him. It hadn't been friendly.

"I'm here to help you with that lot you want cleared, and I brought some assistants like I said I would," Naruko continued as if she hadn't seen the dirty look. "This is Sasuke Uchiha, and this is…" she paused and tapped her lips cutely. "Well, I suppose Uzumaki-kun needs no introduction here."

"You're da-aaaah, quite right, Naruko-chan," the older man growled as he walked over beside his wife.

Naruko gave him her cutest, most innocent smile. "Oh, don't be an old grump, Aida-san. I promise Uzumaki-kun will be on his best behavior. In fact, I think there's something he'd like to say to you both." She paused and cleared her throat, "Ah-hem," then clasped her hands and smiled at her male self.

The clone stepped forward and bowed low. "Aida-san, I apologize for putting saltpeter in your rice bins. It was a juvenile prank and I'm sorry. But now that I'm a Konoha shinobi, I will not be pranking anymore, and I will do my utmost as a ninja to protect this village and all its inhabitants."

Both of their attention was on the clone, but Sasuke watched the real Naruto. There was an glint to her eye that belied her cute, smiling appearance, hinting at something seething below the surface. Sasuke rather thought he wasn't sorry at all.

"There, you see?" Naruko said smoothly, stepping forward to intercept their glares, which quickly softened as their attention turned to the friendly young blonde. "He's sorry, and he'll make it up to you by helping us clean up the lot. I'm sure he's not a bad boy, just a bit mischievous. Every town has at least one." She cocked her head sideways and smiled.

Sasuke wanted to retch. Naruto was a dangerous ninja, not as dangerous as him, perhaps, but formidable just the same, and no one with that kind of skill should… _pander_ like that.

"I'll forgive him if you insist, sweetie," the woman said grudgingly. "But be careful that your forgiving heart doesn't get you in trouble. Some people are just born bad, and they can use honeyed words to fool you."

Naruko bowed. "Thank you, Aida-san. I will remember that."

"Well, okay, but he better not slack off and make you do all the work," Aida said gruffly, his hand on his wife's shoulder.

The clone took his cue and pushed around Naruko. "Hey, I'd never do that to Naruko-neechan! Just you watch, I'll do more than my share of the work!"

"…we'll see," he growled.

The lot wasn't very far away from the grocery store, and something had once stood there, but had long since been torn down and hauled away. True to Naruto's word, the lot was covered in patches of wiry, prickly bushes and long grass, and even a few small trees. Beneath the vegetation lurked innumerable bricks and stones which would also have to be removed to make the lot suitable for building on again.

Naruto and Sasuke walked in silence, while Naruko kept up a cheerful, meaningless conversation with Aida, demonstrating a detailed memory of their grandchildren, as well as his back aches and the Aida matriarch's bursitis.

Despite the wrongness of his teammate turning himself into a simpering female, Sasuke had to respect the effort and skill shown. If they ever went on a mission that needed someone to go in undercover, he was sending Naruto.

"Okay, we're here," Aida said, remarkably cheerful from his conversation with Naruko, as he sat down a bag of mixed box drinks his wife had sent as refreshments for the trio. "When my son died in the… twelve years ago, I didn't have the heart to try and rebuild here, but now the grandkids are growing up and needing a place to work, so it's time to break new ground," he said, scratching his chin thoughtfully, then brightened. "Old Miura let me keep some tools in his building over there, so I'll go get some axes... Hmm?"

"Oh, I'm sure we won't need them, right, Sasuke-kun?" Naruko said brightly. "Why don't you show Aida-san what you can do."

Giving her a dark look, he walked to the edge of the lot, considering it thoughtfully. Then, before he allowed himself to grow irritated with the whole mess, he raced through a set of seals and leapt into the air. "Katon: Gokakyu no jutsu!"

A stream of fire burst from his lips, hitting the ground and curling back around itself, forming a gigantic ball of fire that almost touched the boundary markers for the lot itself. Grass, bushes, and trash alike was incinerated in the blast, leaving nothing but a fine black soot.

"Wow!" Aida said appreciatively. "You are strong, young man, but I guess that's to be expected of a member of the famous Uchiha clan." He nudged Naruko, who bent willingly with his touch and took a step away, as if unbalanced. "You've got yourself a fine boyfriend there, Naruko-chan," he said, grinning.

Sasuke's head whipped around in shock.

"I hope he treats you to a nice night on the down in addition to Aishitoba's for your date," he continued.

"Oh, don't tease me, Aida-san," Naruko replied playfully. "Sasuke-kun is a bit too young for me, after all. Besides, I already have someone."

"Oh?" the old man replied, clearly intrigued. "What's the name of the buck who's captured our dear Naruko-chan's heart?"

Sasuke watched as Naruto giggled, _giggled_, and put her hand on the older man's chest. "Ah, Aida-san, a lady does not kiss and tell." She winked. "Besides, it wouldn't be appropriate… at this stage in our relationship." Before he could reply, she turned to the others. "Uzumaki-kun? Could you tell me if the stones are cool enough to pick up now?"

For a moment, he wondered why Naruto kept referring to his male self with the more formal last name, then decided it didn't really matter, and put it out of his mind.

The clone, for his part, picked up a scorched stone thoughtfully, then nodded. "Sure, Naruko-neechan. They're warm, but not hot." He smirked at Sasuke. "Now it's my turn! Kage bushin no jutsu!"

How… it was a clone, dammit! Naruto might be able to create hundreds of clones, but a single clone shouldn't be able to do it. Admittedly, the clone barely produced two dozen copies of itself, but it still spoke of a hidden power. When they'd done their brief tree walking exercise the third day they'd spent with Kakashi-sensei, he'd told them all that Naruto made up for his lack of a powerful bloodline like the other two by having more chakra than all of them combined, even including Kakashi himself.

It didn't make him a better fighter, but it did mean he didn't get tired like the others. A useful trait in a teammate, Sasuke would admit.

The small army of clones spread across the lot and immediately began picking up stones and bricks, under the doubtful eye of old man Aida.

"See?" Naruko said brightly. "I told you he was useful, and wanted to make amends. Now if you'll excuse me…" She took over a section of the lot close to them, and also began picking through the rocks.

Sasuke felt the old man's eyes come to rest on him for all of about a second before he 'hn'ed and stalked forward to pick up rocks with Naruto. What an annoyance, he'd just been brought in to use a fire jutsu, not scratch through the dirt and get sooty.

At one point, he could swear he caught a glimpse, some shred of intent, like someone was watching from a nearby building. But despite covert glances around, he couldn't spot anyone. It was probably just a Konoha ninja checking to see who was using a flashy technique like the grand fireball.

Whole or usable half bricks went in a pile in one corner, everything else went to a steady stream of clones making runs to the edge of town to scatter the rocks where they wouldn't get in anyone's way.

"Wow, good job, Naruko-chan," Aida said appreciatively about fifteen minutes later, when most of the work was done and only a few clones remained scratching around for the smaller rocks. "I have to admit, I wasn't sure if I should let you have the job, but you did a better job than I could have expected if I'd paid for a shinobi team."

Naruko giggled, and, much to Sasuke's surprise, blushed on cue. "Oh, I wouldn't say that. I just wanted to help out."

Sasuke had stopped, and was waiting patiently for their little exchange to finish, but while he did so, he noticed something. One of Naruto's clones had a sour expression on his face, like he was tasting something foul. Ordinarily, Naruto guarded his expressions like precious treasure, and Sasuke knew that everything he said and everything he did was an act, no matter how smooth or perfectly delivered it was. Sasuke was no fool, he saw Naruto for the accomplished liar he was. But that clone, the one raking dirt into a large hole left behind by a section of wall, had an open, unguarded expression that spoke of barely restrained hostility. Deep inside his heart, Naruto must really not like the guy.

Interesting.

Sasuke would remember that little flaw in the kage bushin.

He smiled benevolently at her. "Well, you certainly did. And here is your reward." He pulled out two slips of paper, meal tickets to Aishitoba, and handed them to her.

"Thank you!" she replied brightly. "I'll just give these to the boys and-"

"Wait, you're going to give yours to the Uzumaki brat?" he spluttered, interrupting her.

She put on a confused expression. "Well of course. He did do a lot of the work. I didn't do anything at all."

"But…" he began, then sighed and nodded. "You're right, Naruko-chan. You're absolutely right." His expression firmed. "But don't you think you didn't do anything, you were a big help to me. In fact, here. I've actually got another one, but I want _you_ to have it." He wagged a finger at her as he pulled another ticket out. "And no giving it away, okay?"

"Thank you, Aida-san!" she gushed. "I don't deserve it-"

"You do, now take it, with our blessing," he said, closing her hand around the ticket.

"Naruko-neechan!" the clones called. "We're done!" And all but one popped out of existence.

"And just in time, too!" she called back at herself, before turning back to her employer. "Well, Aida-san, thank you very much for letting me help." She glanced at Sasuke.

Knowing his cue, and resenting it anyway, Sasuke sketched a short bow and murmured thanks.

"Yeah, thanks, old man! Glad I could help you and Naruko-neechan. No hard feelings, alright?"

He bowed and thanked them in return, and if his movements were a little stiff and his smile a bit tight, no one called him on it.

Naruko waved one last time as they walked away, together.

"You split yourself in two, so he'd pay you twice as much," Sasuke said without preamble.

Naruko grinned at him and tapped the side of her head.

Sasuke shook his. "Always thinking, Naruto."

She giggled and cocked her head sideways, for all the world to see as a cute, airheaded young blonde. "Beware the stupid act. It is, after all, just an act."

"Hn." He glanced at her. "You really hate those people." It wasn't a question.

Naruto didn't trip, didn't make any sort of outward indication of surprise, but there was something, a hesitation, a tension, that spoke volumes to Sasuke. His first impulse was to deny it, but Sasuke wasn't the type to just fish for information without being pretty sure of himself. So he'd respect his teammate's deduction skills.

A more genuine, but cruel, smile twisted her sensuous lips. "Yeah, I wanted one for Hinata-chan, but I really just wanted to screw the old man out of more money. Aishitoba's is gonna taste sweet."

They walked along in silence for a moment as Naruto handed payment over to his teammate.

"Saltpeter?" Sasuke wondered what would make Naruto go so far as to steal another man's sexual potency.

Naruko grinned. "Every day for almost a year and a half, before he got wise and hired someone to catch me. His wife thought he was just old and impotent."

Sasuke shook his head. But a tiny smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

"Tiger penis and rhinoceros horn soup doesn't do a whole lot of good when it's loaded with saltpeter, but it still costs the same."

It was sort of tame, for revenge. Nothing at all like what Sasuke would perform when he got the chance. But there was still a certain artistry to it he could admire, and from various comments and rumors about what had really happened to Mizuki-sensei, Sasuke suspected Naruto was capable of more.

"SASUKE-KUN?!"

With a start, he glanced around, shaken out of his musing.

Oh... hell…

Two young girls sprinted towards him from several blocks away, one leggy blonde, one shorter, with pink hair. Sakura and Ino, the only other two girls in the academy who were good enough to make genin, despite spending most of their time and energy annoying him.

"Sasuke-kun! Who is that… HARLOT?!" They were getting closer.

With another start, he glanced at Naruko, smiling beside him. He'd actually forgotten that he was currently in the shape of a girl. A girl walking with Sasuke.

Aw hell. This wasn't going to be good. There were so many potential misunderstandings-!

"Don't!" he hissed, glaring at the blonde.

"Whaaaat?" Naruko protested, giving him a look of surprised innocence.

"Whatever you're thinking, just… don't."

"You're no fun, Sasuke-kun," Naruko complained, giving him doe eyes. But as the girls drew near, she added, "Want me to get rid of them?"

"…I got it."

"Sasuke! Who is this girl?! Don't tell me she's...!" Sakura cried.

"Sasuke, say it ain't so!" Ino added a second later.

Naruko stepped forward, throwing out her voluptuous breasts aggressively. "That's right, girls!"

"Whaaaa?!" they cried together.

"YES!" she added, striking a pose. "Everything you fear has come true! You've wasted your opportunity, girls, and while you sat on your hands, I snapped him up!"

Sasuke gave him a look that simultaneously spoke of betrayal, fear, horror, and murder.

"NOOOoooooo!" Tears streamed down their faces.

"Ohhh YES! And you better not lay a hand on him, or I'll kick your asses!"

"Sasukeeeeee!" Sakura whined.

"How could you let this happen!"

"Sasuke had no choice in the matter!" Naruko proclaimed. "Naruto was no match for my feminine wiles!"

"Maybe we can still have a threesome, I'm willing… wait, WHAT?!" Sakura spluttered.

"Yes, that's right! Naruto's mine! All mine!" she claimed, grabbing her clone by the arm and jerking him close. "You can't have him, so there!" She stuck out her tongue.

"So… you're… not… dating… this…" Ino began, the tears gone instantly and hope renewed filling her eyes.

"Take me away, Naruto-sama!" Naruko cried, jumping into his arms and flinging her head back with wild abandon. "Take me back to your love shack and ravish me!"

"…Okay," he agreed. He slung her over his shoulder, displaying her pert rump to the stunned trio, gave it a little slap, gave them a wink, and jumped away.

o/

Naruto sat cross legged, upside down, hanging above the bridge Team Seven met their sensei at. His expression was the very picture of serenity. Truly, he had achieved Nirvana.

A rock bounced off the back of his head. He disappeared with a puff of smoke.

"Hn. Didn't think so." Sasuke walked onto the bridge and leaned against the rail, opposite from where Hinata sat.

"You're not mad, are you, Sasuke-kun?" Naruto asked, landing lightly beside Hinata.

Another thrown rock, and this one, too, was dispelled.

"In my defense, I didn't do what you know I was thinking about, and you know it," yet another Naruto continued, walking up the bridge from the other side of the river.

"Che." He looked away.

"You're smiling, Sasuke-kun. Did something happen?" Hinata asked softly.

"Hn."

"Well, I'm glad to see you're all lively this morning."

They looked up to see Kakashi crouching on one of the bridge supports, smiling at them.

"That's a good thing, too," he continued, "because we have a mission. C rank. It should last about a week, including travel time."

Sasuke glanced at him, startled, and missed Naruto's comparable look of shock. He darted his eyes back and the blond, who gave him an enigmatic smile and tapped his head. Grudgingly, Sasuke nodded.

Well played, Naruto, well played.

Naruto repressed the urge to fidget. A C rank! He'd been trying to corner all the D rank missions since the third day since they were an official team! Finally, it worked! And it made him look good in front of Sasuke! Hot damn!

"Ne, Kakashi-sensei, what is the mission?" he asked calmly, before Sasuke could beat him to it.

"A village near our border with Rain has been having some sort of trouble with wild animals attacking their cattle. Our mission is to guard, track, and eliminate the animals responsible." He smiled benevolently. "Think of it as an assassination mission, much like you would receive as a jonin, only our target is an animal of some kind."

It was so cute, the way their eyes gleamed at the thought of killing something.

"The village is Tomahigiro, a small and not very prosperous village on the edge of a swamp. Naruto, you should get poisons and… and some medical supplies. Hinata, you get maps and hunting gear, and Sasuke, you get a selection of traps. All of you will need camping gear and food suitable for up to two weeks in the wild."

They nodded seriously.

"The area is pretty wet, so we'll be doing some special training while we're there, similar to the tree walking exercise we did last week."

"Water walking, Sensei?" Sasuke asked.

"That's right, it's another genin level skill. Unless Naruto already knows this one, too?" The sneaky little blond read every scroll he could get his hands on, and already knew most genin level techniques. He'd even managed to mostly teach tree walking to Hinata before Kakashi had gotten around to bringing it up.

Naruto shook his head. "No, Sensei. I've read of it, but I've never tried. There are more trees than water around here, after all."

"Good," Kakashi said happily. "We'll all learn something, now won't that be fun?" He paused, and his voice deepened, his demeanor becoming more serious. "Oh, and one more thing. You might want to prepare yourselves. Some of you might not come back alive, or at the very least, you will see horrible things.

"The animals that have been attacking the cattle, no one knows what they are. But they say that the cattle have been torn apart with a savagery unseen in man or beast." He seemed to loom over them, his words heavy as he invoked images of horrible, bloody violence.

His students just… looked back at him evenly.

Abruptly, he was back to smiles. "Maa, that's what they say, anyway. You have until noon to get ready. Meet me at the gate of Konoha, and don't forget anything."

They all nodded solemnly and jumped away, hurrying to their assigned tasks.

Kakashi shook his head and sighed. "Why did they give me all the homicidal ones? If I didn't know better, I'd say there wasn't a spark of humor in the whole group." He paused. "That, or my jokes aren't funny."

He paused, considering.

"Nah."


	5. Clients Lie: two

"Ne, Sensei, this is it?" Naruto asked, looking at the shallow stream dubiously. The sun was dipping low in the sky, and they'd been running at top speed, a mad waste of chakra, but Kakashi, presumably, had his reasons.

"It is," Kakashi replied mildly. "We'll be spending the night here, so why don't you go ahead and set up camp, first. I'll observe." Picking a nearby tree, he leapt into its branches.

They were still deep in the Fire country, and the area was heavily wooded with massive trees. The little stream didn't so much wind between them as trickle over their roots, forming shallow, but steep banks and the occasional deeper pool.

Naruto's first response was to make a dozen clones and send them to scouting the area, while he began digging a small, concealable fire pit. "Hey, Sasuke, can you handle the tents?"

"Make your own tent, Naruto," Sasuke spat back, quickly assembling his own.

"I'm going to dig a latrine, so unless you want to switch…" he warned.

Sasuke grunted.

Hinata, for her part, activated her Byakugan and began wandering around the camp slowly, ostensibly looking at the ground, but really her attention was elsewhere.

Kakashi-sensei in the tree. No traps. No dangerous plants or animals. No sign of human contact anywhere, not a footprint, oddly bent stem, or scuff mark anywhere. Small fish, char, in the streams. Some plants lining the banks, not very close to the water, and dotted between the trees' roots.

"I don't think anyone has been here in a long time," she said quietly, glancing up at Naruto, who was jamming rocks together in a circle around his pit. "There're aren't any signs."

"That's not quite true," Kakashi offered from his perch. "If you look in the trees, there are a couple of branches with footprints on them. Someone came through earlier today."

Hinata blushed. "A-ano, that was Naruto-kun."

"Are you sure?" Kakashi asked, raising one eyebrow.

She nodded. "I recognize Naruto's tracks."

He smiled. "Very good, Hinata. Naruto has a tendency to crouch and touch his hands when he lands, it's very distinctive, and a good thing to know about your team mate."

She flushed. "I'm not very good, Kakashi-sensei. I can't immediately identify yours or Sasuke-kun's tracks."

He smiled at her. "All you need is practice. You've got a tremendous advantage, after all."

"No kidding," Naruto snorted as he picked up the small folding shovel he'd used to dig the fire pit and walked behind a big local tree to dig a latrine. "Makes me look sort of plain, surrounded by all these powerful bloodlines," he said jovially.

"Naruto!" Hinata gasped. "You can't mean that!"

He shrugged and winked at her. "It's okay. I may not have the eyes like you three, but I have my own tricks."

She nodded.

Kakashi watched curiously, wondering if he'd told Hinata the secret of the nine tails.

"Hey, see if you can find something edible, okay, Hinata?" he added.

"Okay, Naruto," she said obediently, activating her byakugan and moving purposely away from the camp.

"You give a lot of orders, Naruto-kun," Kakashi said wryly.

He grunted as he began digging. "It only makes sense, Sensei. Hinata knows plants and fungi."

"Hmm, that's interesting."

Naruto nodded. "Yeah. And she's really good at finding them, too. Sasuke or I might stumble across them, but I only know the basics, and Sasuke hasn't admitted to any detailed horticultural studies. So it makes sense for Hinata to do it."

Kakashi watched them all with interest. Naruto had some sort of relationship with Hinata, which, honestly, he wasn't sure was appropriate. But Hinata wasn't complaining, indeed, he'd even asked her a few questions about the blond once. She described him in only the most complimentary terms, and if Kakashi was any judge of people, which he was, he figured she honestly believed he only had her best interests at heart.

Naruto, however, was far too wily a conversational opponent to get information from he didn't want you to have. Kakashi eyed him warily, aware that he sometimes seem to take more vicious options by choice. But, of all the three genin, he thought the most, learning quickly and looking underneath the underneath, and creating quite a few layers to hide behind as well. In any ordinary group, he'd be the uncontested leader, if not for Sasuke.

Sasuke, at least, was someone Kakashi could relate to. Solitary, quiet, and an utter genius at learning new techniques. He also didn't take orders well. He listened to Kakashi with a quiet acceptance, willing to learn, silently disdainful of orders he could have figured out himself. Naruto's orders, however much the blond couched them as suggestions, were seen with both hostility and caution. Sometimes he'd take a different path just out of spite, but Naruto was getting especially clever at making sure that not only were his ideas the best ones, they were also the only workable ones.

Wearing him down through patience.

Interesting.

Either Naruto honestly did not think he could win in a fight versus Sasuke, or in a surprisingly sophisticated turn he was using diplomacy rather than brute force.

Time would tell.

"Not a bad camp," he said finally. "But I do have to ask a question. Why are there only three tents?"

"That was all we brought," Sasuke replied plainly.

"Cause we didn't want to share one big one?" Naruto replied sardonically.

"Ano…" Hinata blushed.

He raised an eyebrow.

"Well, that one's yours," Naruto said pointing, "the one on the other side is the one Sasuke brought, and the one in the middle is Hinata's."

"And you?"

He shrugged, a small smile on his lips. "No point in carrying a tent if I don't need one, right? I packed extra gear, and didn't bring a tent."

His eyes flicked to Hinata.

She was blushing furiously, and tapping her fingers together, but she looked up, directly at Kakashi. "U-u-um, I asked Naruto-kun to sleep with me, Kakashi-sensei."

Sasuke twitched slightly at her word choice, and even Kakashi had to still an involuntary response. He wondered if she'd deliberately chosen those words without Naruto's help. He was obviously a tremendous influence.

"Oh?" he replied mildly. "And I suppose your father is okay with these sleeping arrangements?"

Expecting some sort of guilty reaction, he was much surprised when her blush faded and she gave him a look loaded with killer intent.

"My father is my problem," she said, deadly quiet. "And what he doesn't know," she paused, "won't hurt me. As a fully fledged Konoha shinobi, my sleeping arrangements are my business." She gave him what could only be described as a Look, capitalized. "Right, Kakashi-sensei?"

He shrugged, impressed by her ferocity. "To a certain extent, I suppose you could say that. However, that does not mean there won't be consequences."

She nodded firmly. "I'm counting on it."

"Well, with that kind of attitude, what can I say about it?" he mused. "Let's train." He hopped down, a jump of nearly thirty feet, and landed lightly on his feet.

"Now, I'm sure you're aware that higher level shinobi can walk on the surface of water with their chakra." He took a number of steps onto the surface of the stream, standing easily on the very surface. The stream was slow moving, but it was still noticeable how it slowly carried him away.

They walked along side, keeping pace. Hinata activated her byakugan to watch closely. Sasuke just stared at Kakashi's feet. Naruto had a look of concentration on his face.

Kakashi walked a few paces back and forth. "The technique involves a continuous flow of chakra. Similar to tree walking, you have to mold chakra in your feet, or where ever you touch the water, but unlike tree walking, you have to release the chakra into the water in a steady stream, or you'll sink." He smiled at them as he slowed, the stream forming a large, nearly still pool. "Now you try."

None of them moved. But Kakashi was glad to note they each had an expression that spoke of thought. Sasuke looked serious. Hinata had her eyes wide. Naruto looked like he was about to murder someone.

Sasuke was the first to step onto the water's surface. And through it, his foot hitting gravel. He pulled it out with a grimace of distaste, and hesitated.

"Go for it, Hinata, if you're ready," Naruto said quietly, not looking at her. "You can do it."

Nodding, she took several wobbly steps, sinking slowly deeper into the water with each one. Her face screwed up in concentration, but it was no good, she was standing on the bottom of the pool. She climbed out slowly, then turned and stared intently at Kakashi's feet.

He smiled encouragingly, then turned to look at Sasuke, who was trying again. The water was obviously firmer under his feet, but not enough, and once again he sank with a splash two steps in.

Naruto formed a seal with his hands, then stepped forward. All eyes were on him. One step. The water seemed solid. Two steps, and he wobbled badly, nearly losing his balance. His other foot came forward again, and at first it sank, then it rose, then it sank, he grunted in exertion… and fell over with a loud splash.

Sasuke's chuckles weren't very loud, but they stood out. Hinata glared at him. Kakashi smiled silently.

Naruto climbed to his feet with an air of wounded dignity, doffed his jacket, leaving himself in a white t shirt, and tossed it onto the bank. "I should have done that before," he admitted, turning to the others. "You might want to do the same. No point getting your clothes wet."

Hinata nodded and started taking off her jacket.

Sasuke stared, obviously so.

Naruto's eye twinkled. "Actually, I was talking to Sasuke-kun." He formed a seal, and suddenly, it was Naruko standing there, her voluptuous breasts heaving under her thin, wet, white cotton shirt. "I'm sure both us girls would love to see Sasuke's manly chest..." she cooed.

"Hmph!" he said, looking away.

Kakashi sighed in embarrassment for his students.

Naruko gave Hinata a sultry smile, then dispelled the jutsu and became a boy again.

Sasuke, to cover his embarrassment, strode boldly onto the surface of the water, making it four, then five steps before sinking up to his knees. He glanced at the other two in triumph.

Hinata looked down, as if in shyness, but she also formed the same seal Naruto had used. Hesitantly, she stepped out onto the water. It held firm. Then, she took another. And another. Soon she was in the middle of the pool, near Kakashi.

"Woo hoo, Hinata-chan! Nice!" Naruto called.

"Ma, ma. Very good, Hinata. Your control is very good for a genin," Kakashi said in praise.

She blushed. "I can see how much you're using, and I tried to use the same amount."

Kakashi looked up to see Sasuke, ankle deep in water, glowering. "Ah, Sasuke, when you develop your Sharingan, you'll be able to see chakra as well," he offered, mollifying the boy.

"Really, Sensei?" Naruto asked. "The Sharingan lets you see chakra like the Byakugan?"

Kakashi nodded.

"Can you see through stuff, too?"

Kakashi shook his head. "No, the Sharingan is related to the Byakugan, some say it is an offshoot, but many of the abilities are different. I don't know all the details of the Byakugan, I'm sure Hinata-chan would tell you more than I know, but the Sharingan excels at copying jutsu, as well as creating and dispelling genjutsu."

"Really? So which one is more powerful?" Naruto pressed, walking two steps into the water before he sank once more.

"The Sharingan," Sasuke said quietly.

They all glanced at him, except for Kakashi, who looked at Hinata instead. The Hyuga were usually just as proud of their eyes as the Uchiha.

"Really? Then how come you're still on the bank, and Hinata is out there with Kakashi?" Naruto didn't _sound_ like he was mocking the black haired boy.

Sasuke's hands tightened into fists. "I haven't developed my Sharingan very far… yet. But I will." He walked into the water, momentarily so distracted he didn't even mold chakra.

Naruto made a splash of his own. "So why haven't you?" he asked, honestly curious. "If you want it so bad."

Sasuke's head jerked. "The Sharingan… usually evolves in combat, according to my family's scrolls."

"I can see that," Naruto admitted. "The path to strength seems to often start over the bloody corpses of your enemies."

"Ma…" Kakashi interrupted. "That's a violent view of things, Naruto."

Abruptly, his face was all smiles. "Oh, don't worry, Kakashi-sensei! I only said 'seems'. I know that the path to true strength begins with friends, and ends…"

They all looked at him expectantly, Sasuke disdainfully, Hinata hanging on his every word.

"…with lots of friends!" he enthused.

SPLASH

They all jerked their heads around to see Hinata flailing beneath the surface. Kakashi chuckled. Even Sasuke had a smile tugging at his lips.

Her head burst out of the water as she got her feet beneath her, the shallow pool only coming to about chest deep. She coughed and spluttered.

"Well, you got the idea down, but you still need to master it. Can you climb onto the surface from there?"

Hinata nodded, wiping water from her eyes. "Yes, Kakashi-sensei."

That was easier said than done, however.

Summoning his chakra, Sasuke concentrated, then took two small steps. Rather than taking more, he paused, making sure his footing was good.

Naruto, too, tried again, making it five steps into the pool, the overbalanced and fell in with another splash. He sat up calmly, crossed his legs, formed a seal, and began concentrating.

Hinata slipped back into the water, having gotten both arms and one knee out.

Sasuke sank again.

With a grunt and a nearly palpable wave of chakra, Naruto popped to the top of the pool like a cork, actually flying several inches into the air, before landing slightly sideways and falling over again.

Hinata, carefully, climbed back onto the water's surface and shakily regained her feet.

"Nice, Hinata!" he called. "Now, can you tell me what I've been doing wrong?"

"You're using too much chakra," she replied immediately, then her jaw closed with an audible click and she looked aghast. "Not that…! I mean…!" she spluttered.

"Cool, thanks," he replied, ignoring the rest of her stuttering. He regained his seated position and started concentrating again.

Sasuke grit his teeth, standing up to his knees in water. Finally, he spat, "Fine. What am I doing wrong?"

She blinked, turning to watch him. "Umm, could you try again?"

He nodded, irritated. Again, three steps in, he started to sink, and by the forth, he had lost it.

"Well?" he asked, looking at her expectantly.

"You're using too little chakra, only a little more than you use climbing trees," she explained. "You have to use about twice as much to begin with, then make more of it flow."

Naruto opened one eye, dropping his hands into the water by his side. "That's useful information. I wonder why our sensei didn't tell us that."

Kakashi chuckled benevolently. "And miss the fun of watching you figure it out on your own?"

"Fun, huh?" Naruto asked. "That's what you call determining how fast we learn by trial and error?"

Kakashi grinned at him. "Yep."

Naruto frowned. "Well, at least some of us learn faster by watching." He motioned at Hinata, then Sasuke.

Everyone turned to see Sasuke take another slow, deliberate step onto the water. He was about a third of the way to the middle, and his footing seemed stable.

"Yeah, that's Sasuke for you. Learns everything damned near immediately," Naruto said quietly, but there was actually a note of deliberate pride in his voice. "Way to go, Sasuke."

Sasuke sniffed.

"Very good, Sasuke. Most people take two or three days to get that far," Kakashi noted.

"Huh," Naruto mused thoughtfully, his body completely motionless. "So this is what it's like to be surrounded by geniuses of powerful clans. It's hard to compete."

Kakashi looked at him thoughtfully.

"Ah, well," he said after a moment, with a small, rueful grin. "I'll get it soon. Until then, I'll have to console myself with the fact that my talents lie elsewhere." He lifted both hands, displaying a dripping kunai in each. Three fish dangled from the left, and two were impaled, dead, not even twitching, on the right.

o/

Sasuke ducked, blocked Hinata's two fingered strike with a sweep of his forearm, flipped backwards and used the distance to leap over her head, landing with a small splash as his chakra charged feet disrupted the surface of the water for a second on landing. He threw an elbow backwards, aiming for the center of her back.

She twisted effortlessly, and he hissed in displeasure as her hand brushed his side beneath his arm.

"That's a cripple," Kakashi called. "Sasuke, you can't use your left arm, now."

Obediently, he let the arm hang limp as he flew backwards to the very edge of the pool, the boundary of their sparring session.

Unfortunately for him, the small confines of the water were a tremendous advantage to Hinata, who specialized in extremely fast, close combat. They were sparring gently, to leave each other in shape for the mission, which meant that he couldn't use his devastating wide area fire jutsu, either. He was starting to reconsider his self imposed restriction on kunai.

"Hey, Sensei, I think I've got it," Naruto said, appearing at Kakashi's side.

The white haired jounin glanced at him, unsurprised. Naruto had been quiet, but far from quiet enough to fool him.

"I see you've gotten better at controlling your splashes," he noted.

Naruto had the grace to look embarrassed. "Yeah, well, I know I can't use as much chakra as I want all the time, but it's still tricky to reign it in." He paused, watching as Sasuke kicked and punched, putting Hinata on the defensive. "Easier than when I learned tree walking, though. Took me a week to get that down."

"The unforeseen curse of a large chakra capacity," Kakashi noted. "And only adequate control."

Naruto looked at him. "Hey, I thought you said I had good control? I mean, I know I'm not as deft as Hinata, or even Sasuke, really, but I'm not that bad."

"That was before I actually watched you learning something new. You gain skill quickly, it seems, but you start off rather slow."

Hinata parried and blocked her opponent's attacks, exceeding his speed with her hands as she even deflected his kicks and sweeps. Not once had she lost her balance since the match had started, but she was hard pressed to penetrate Sasuke's defenses when he used all his limbs to defend and attack, and she only used her hands.

She lunged, taking him by surprise for a moment, letting her deceptively gentle touches be brushed aside as she spun slightly, aiming an elbow for his heart.

His 'good' hand was on her jacket, and she was lifted bodily as he heaved, her elbow striking harmlessly to the side of his head, and then she was flying.

Sasuke was waiting for her where she was going to hit the water again, his body stiff, his leg cocked for a devastating kick that would power through her defenses.

Hinata's eyes were wide. She could see the tenketsu on his leg as clear as day, even in the fading light of the evening. His kick would hurt, but she'd disable his leg, and soon the match would be hers. She grew closer, readying herself to strike.

And then his right arm made a wide sweeping motion, pulling a wire she hadn't noticed, and suddenly her feet were flying out from under her, leaving her to hit the water flat on her back. His leg flashed out, a fraction of an inch from her throat, and she gasped… getting a breath of water as her concentration failed and she sank beneath the surface.

"And, that's a kill," Kakashi said happily. "Very good use of ninja tools against an opponent who can see the finest wire, Sasuke." He glanced back at Naruto.

"Yeah, yeah. You can't always use brute force. I got that."

Kakashi smiled. Such a bright student. Too bad he was so bloodthirsty. He glanced at the sky. "Well, we seem to have burned the usable daylight. We'll have to see how you do in the morning before we leave, Naruto."

Naruto grimaced. "Yeah. I took too damned long. Sorry, Kakashi-sensei."

He shrugged. "Maa, you'll just have to get faster. Now, I believe I smell roasting fish?"

"Stuffed with pepper seasoned rice," Naruto agreed. Cooking was, of course, another skill you could learn from a book.

The meal was well received with compliments from Kakashi and Hinata, and a 'hn' from Sasuke, who otherwise ate without complaint.

"I have a little test for you tonight," Kakashi began once the meal was through. "This will determine your most likely training path for the future."

"What kind of test, Sensei?" Hinata asked.

"A test to determine your chakra affinity," he explained. "I trust they explained elemental chakra types to you in school?"

They all nodded.

"Well, I've brought several sheets of chakra paper, made from special trees influenced by chakra over a long period of time." He rummaged around in his pouch, then held up a sheet of dirty tan paper for his students to see. After a few seconds, it crinkled into a wad.

"When it crinkles like this, that means I have a lightning affinity," he explained, rummaging around in his pouch with his free hand, then handing a second sheet of paper to Sasuke.

It immediately crinkled, and Sasuke held it up with a raised eyebrow. "So I will be able to use lightning jutsu?" he asked.

"Not just lightning jutsu, but you will be able to use them very well," Kakashi corrected. "If it gets cut in two, that indicates a wind type. Water: it gets wet. Fire: it bursts into flame. Earth: it crumbles into dust." He held up two more folded sheets of paper with a smile, then handed them to Naruto and Hinata.

Naruto looked at his sheet of paper dubiously. "Um, Kakashi-sensei?" he hazarded. "You gave me a page from a book."

"Hmm?" Kakashi replied. "I don't think so. What does it say?"

"Uhh," Naruto began, tilting it to catch the firelight. "'But we mustn't, Minoru-kun, someone might see,' Akira protested weakly, gasping as the boy's hand slid into her panties'?!" he read, his voice rising perceptibly toward the end.

They all stared at him.

"That's what it says," he protested. "Look," he said, brandishing the page. 'Akira's too large uniform slipped off her shoulders and puddled at her feet, her cute and shy face looking to one side as she bared herself,' it's what it says!"

"Ah," Kakashi exclaimed. "I understand. That's a page from Icha Icha Blushing Maidens. For the chakra paper to turn into that…" he paused. "It means you have the elemental affinity of hentai."

Naruto stared at him in complete disbelief.

Kakashi shrugged theatrically. "Well, you are planning on sharing a tent with Hinata." He turned to the young kunoichi. "You might want to take that as a warning, Hinata-chan. Most girls your age don't want to share a tent with a boy of such… obvious tendencies."

Sasuke snorted in quiet laughter. Hinata blushed. Kakashi didn't bother to keep the grin off his face.

After a moment, Naruto snorted and threw the wadded up paper back. "Sensei, you idiot."

Kakashi laughed and handed him another piece of paper, which he took cautiously, turning it over to look at both sides. He turned once again to the embarrassed girl. "So, Hinata-chan, what do you have? Not more ero, is it?"

She blushed madly, like the setting sun, and shook her head. "Ano, Sensei, it doesn't seem to be doing anything," she admitted hesitantly.

"Hmm," he replied thoughtfully. "It should react to the smallest amount of chakra. Try deliberately channeling chakra through it."

She frowned at it, but it resolutely refused to change.

Naruto, meanwhile, muttered something about a perverted sensei and forced a large amount of chakra through the paper in his hand. Immediately, he had two.

"Ah, a wind element user," Kakashi noted approvingly. "Wind is very powerful in combat, especially short to mid range."

"Good," he replied, pleased, then looked thoughtful. "Though I kinda liked the hentai one…"

Hinata held her other hand over the paper, frowning in concentration. Nothing happened.

A small flare of light caught their attention. The paper in Sasuke's hand had burst into flame.

"Ah, very good, Sasuke. Two elemental affinities, that will be a powerful advantage to you. I was surprised by the lightning, but flame is to be expected of an Uchiha. Your clan has been known for powerful katon jutsu for generations." He glanced back at Hinata, who had pumped so much chakra into her hand it glowed to anyone sensitive to it. "And you, Hinata, you can stop now. I've heard of this, but you're the first Hyuga I've trained, so I'd never seen it before."

"Sensei?" she asked, looking up.

He shrugged. "Ma, you might want to ask your father about it, but it seems that your clan, with almost nothing but pure chakra jutsu, rarely develop elemental affinity. Have you ever seen any clan techniques involving elemental type jutsu?"

She shook her head. "No, Sensei, only those related to the Byakugan and a few other techniques."

He smiled gently at her. "Well, that's okay, then. It won't be an hindrance to you. It seems that your clan techniques really are what you're suited for."

She nodded. But he saw a dark look pass momentarily over her face. Odd.

Another flare of light caught everyone's eye. The paper in Naruto's hand burned with a clean yellow light.

Kakashi's eyebrow raised. "Another fire type?"

Naruto grinned, then pulled a burning twig from behind his back. "Something like that," he said with a smirk.

Kakashi nodded at his little joke. Two students with two elements this early in their training was pretty unlikely, anyway.

"Well, it's been a very informative day. Sasuke has a lot of chakra for a genin, and very good control," he said, gesturing at the dark haired boy, who's head moved imperceptibly, indicating he'd been beginning to nod off. "Naruto has an incredibly large chakra capacity, but his control is only fair. He tries to make up for his lack of efficiency by simply using more chakra, which sometimes causes problems." He turned to Hinata, whose liquid white eyes glimmered at him in the firelight. "And you, Hinata, have less chakra than the other two, but you use it with precision. You are clearly going to be a talented close range fighter." He shifted his position slightly.

"Sasuke will perform well at any distance, so what he chooses will largely be up to him. Naruto, though… Hmm." He paused, then smiled. "Well, we'll find out in the morning. Be thinking about it, Naruto, but no sneaky extra training tonight, okay? You may have plenty of chakra left, but you'll need to be as prepared as possible when we reach Tomahigiro tomorrow night."

Naruto nodded, and Hinata rose and began tidying up the campsite area.

"Oh, and one more thing. I don't have to tell you that resting tonight also means you need to sleep in that tent, not anything else," Kakashi warned.

Naruto's serious face blossomed into a grin. "And deny my very elemental nature? Sensei, how cruel."

Kakashi frowned at him, then shrugged. Naruto and Hinata might not be taking the wisest course, but Naruto was both clever and cautious. He'd just have to keep an eye out for immediate trouble.

Not that the current situation didn't scream trouble to his senses, anyway.

"Sensei, what order do you want the watch?" Sasuke asked.

"Very good question, Sasuke," he replied happily. "I hadn't planned on warning you, but since you ask, I'll be taking the first watch. I'll wake… mmm, Naruto at midnight, he can relieve-"

"Me, Sensei," Hinata said quietly.

"Okay, Hinata, at two," he agreed easily, "and you can take it from four till dawn. Any questions?"

They shook their heads.

"Sounds good, then. Sleep tight." His voice wasn't quite mocking.

Taking up a comfortable position on a branch overlooking the camp, Kakashi pulled out a worn copy of Icha Icha, then hesitated, watching Naruto and Hinata enter their tent, and the way Sasuke hesitated before entering his.

His students worried him. Sasuke had a lust for revenge so strong it could well destroy him, and a distrust of his team that Kakashi couldn't entirely blame him for. Hinata was so dependent on Naruto she was almost hopeless, except that Naruto was so ruthless he pushed her to be stronger, faster, than was good for her. Without Naruto, she'd crumble, and with Naruto, she might well break. Naruto, for all his cleverness, had a mean streak a mile wide and a lust for power that would either make him one of the most feared shinobi in Konoha, or a missing nin.

The biggest problem, he reflected, was that every single one of them was in such a hurry to grow up they had sacrificed their childhoods on the black altar of death. Sure, they were older than he'd been as a chunin, but he'd been different…

Well, no, maybe not all that different. Perhaps that was why he'd been assigned to the trio.

Nodding softly to himself, he made a silent promise that this time, he'd keep them safe, both from the dangers without, and the demons within.

Then he cast a simple dojutsu that gave him powerful night vision, and flipped his damaged book open to his current page. It was a shame to hurt such a precious work of literature, but the book was worn and the bindings loose, and the look on Naruto's face had been more than worth it. The little trickster needed to be reminded that other people manipulated situations, too.

Naruto crawled into the little tent, removing his jacket as he did so, intending to use it as a pillow. The fire had been banked, leaving them in the pitch blackness of the nighttime forest, so he pulled out a tiny flashlight, adjusted it for flood, and turned it on, blinking at the sudden glare.

Hinata stared at him as she crawled in on her knees. Unlike him, she didn't blink or squint at the light, another quirk of her special eyes.

He glanced at her, then resumed shimmying out of his shoes and pants, leaving him in nothing but a t shirt and boxers.

As he undressed, she unrolled a single sleeping bag, extra large, and unzipped it before sitting back and looking at him with an expressionless face.

He ignored her as he rummaged through his jacket, checking his hidden weapons.

Finally, she could stand it no longer, and, walking on her knees to his side, she put her arms around his waist, grabbing the hem of his shirt. She inhaled deeply, drawing in his scent, musky with the day's sweat and stream water. She kissed the back of his neck, like he did with her sometimes.

He didn't react on the surface, but she could hear his heart speed up, just a little bit.

Smiling, she gently lifted the hem of his shirt, pulling it slowly upward as he raised his arm and allowed her to take it off. Still, he refused to give her any attention as he continued his equipment check, even as she ran her hand over his lean back and chest, pausing when her fingertips hit the faint scar where Sasuke had accidentally stabbed him in a training session.

Still, he didn't look at her.

Pouting slightly, she backed off and started getting ready for bed herself. She didn't carry but two hidden kunai, one in each sleeve, and three senbon beside them. As a taijutsu user, she rarely used them anyway, and only carried a fraction of the number either of her team mates did.

Her jacket was folder in a manner similar to Naruto's, and put carefully to one side. Unlike Naruto, she wore her customary layers of mesh armor, though today she was wearing a plain black sports bra. She hadn't expected the mission, nor her night's sleeping arrangement, and mentally cursed her lack of foresight. She decided to always wear something sexy from now on, just in case she got to show it to Naruto.

The mesh shirts she removed as well, placing neatly over her jacket, and her shoes beside them.

Behind her, Naruto crawled into the sleeping bag, leaving it unzipped, one corner folded back across his waist. He propped his head up on one hand, looking at her.

Now was the time. She carefully slid her pants down her legs, leaning forward to get them down her thighs, displaying her firm bottom, clad now only in boy cut black panties. She rocked onto the side of one thigh to get them all the way off, acutely conscious of Naruto's eyes.

She wanted to know what he thought. But if she asked… she'd be needy. Naruto didn't like needy. So she didn't ask.

Now wearing only her bra and panties, she hesitated, wondering if she should take them off. Wondering if Naruto would approve of her boldness, or put her in her place with a word.

"Let's go to sleep, Hinata-chan, he said quietly, patting the sleeping bag with one hand before turning off the little flashlight and sticking it in his jacket.

Feeling a wave of relief, she quickly slid across the narrow gap and against Naruto's side, curling against him with her face on his shoulder and her arm across his chest…

Just like she'd wanted to do for ages.

He was thin, but his muscles moved like whipcord under his skin. She snuggled into his chest with a sign, barely repressing a wriggle of pleasure when his arm wrapped around her, his hand gripping her side, right above her hip.

Oh, how she wanted him to grab lower!

But he didn't, and she lay there for several long minutes as his breath slowed into a deep, regular rhythm. He was probably asleep.

Her eyes flicked open with a start as she realized there was something she'd meant to tell him.

"What is it, Hinata?" he asked, suddenly, nearly scaring her out of her wits.

"Naruto! I…!" she stammered, blushing. "I… how did you know I wanted to say something?"

"I know you," he said simply, but vaguely. He felt no particular urge to let her know that the sudden brush of her eyelashes on his skin was the clue.

She blushed in the darkness. "Well… I… I just wanted to say, Sasuke pulls his wire out left handed." She held her breath, waiting for a response as he lay there silently.

"Always?" he asked finally.

She nodded fiercely. "Every time I've ever seen him do it. Left handed."

There was another pause. Then his arm squeezed around her.

"That's my clever little vixen," he said quietly, and pulled her closer, her face automatically tilting up. His kiss was warm on her lips.

His vixen.

Hinata sighed happily and kissed his chest before she settled back down, his praise making her tingle.

"Naruto."

Naruto's eyes snapped open, his mind automatically placing a name to the voice.

Kakashi.

It was nearly imperceptible, but the presence of someone outside his tent moved away. He nudged Hinata, who woke with a sudden tension in her body.

"Naruto-sama?" she whispered sleepily as he slid over her, climbing out of the sleeping bag.

"I'm about to take watch," he replied quietly. "Check the area while I get dressed."

She obediently activated her byakugan, and if she took a moment to watch him get dressed in the darkness, her scan of the camp and immediate area was no less thorough because of it.

"All clear." She let her technique lapse, yawning.

He patted her leg, then slipped out of the tent into the blackness.

For a moment, she thought about watching, but the sleeping bag was still warm from his presence. She fell back asleep.

Naruto paused a moment, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. It was still basically solid black, the moon wasn't up and the starlight was useless under the thick canopy. But ninja were trained to move in the darkness, and he silently climbed a nearby tree he'd picked out while it was light, clinging lightly to the trunk with his chakra as he found a good spot to hide.

Sleep was gone from his mind within moments as his senses strained for any hint of danger. He didn't expect a serious attack, but Kakashi might decide to spring surprise training on him. Naruto would not be caught napping.

Really, though, he was glad of the time to himself. He needed to come up with a plan to fight Sasuke in the morning.

Without his kunai and a surprise, disabling or lethal blow, Sasuke would be quite a challenge. Naruto had every confidence he could win, provided he could summon kage bushins, but Kakashi had made several comments since he'd started training them about Naruto's reliance on the move. So, just as a point of pride, Naruto wouldn't use the jutsu, whether Kakashi forbade it or not.

He actually kind of hoped Kakashi wouldn't forbid it. It would be much more impressive to Sasuke if he kicked his ass without it, without it being forbidden.

Sasuke was a proud, prickly sort of ninja. Naruto hated that type, except that Sasuke backed up his arrogance every time.

He wouldn't be using kunai, either. Actually, he rarely used kunai. If he used ninja weapons, it was usually wire and shuriken. He was devilishly creative with both, controlling up to half a dozen shuriken with thin wires.

Add his speed, skill with taijutsu, and fire jutsu, and he was a hell of an opponent.

At least his fire jutsu wouldn't be an issue, as a lethal or near lethal move, they would probably also be forbidden in the sparring match. His speed, on the other hand, while not nearly as fast as Hinata, he also wasn't as one dimensional in how he used it.

Ordinarily, Naruto would set up traps beforehand, since he knew he'd be facing him, and where. Lots of traps.

But… that wasn't the solution this time.

It was beautiful, really. Sasuke was everything Naruto could want in a team mate. Calm. Collected. Popular with others. Breathtakingly skilled. Unspeakably powerful.

Vulnerable.

His eyes straining into the darkness, Naruto happily whiled away the time, his mind examining the problem from every angle.

Hinata woke thirty minutes later, moaning slightly as she flailed in the too large sleeping bag.

Naruto wasn't there.

That was because Naruto was on watch.

Instead of sleeping with her.

Frowning sleepily, she gathered up the sleeping bag around her and left in search of Naruto.

Sasuke woke at ten minutes till four in the morning. It wasn't a difficult ability, it just took a certain discipline in telling yourself when to wake up.

He pulled his clothes on quickly, then left his tent to relieve Naruto at the watch, stretching briefly as he stood straight.

"Sasuke." The voice was Naruto's, coming from high to his left.

Blinking owlishly, he found Naruto's tree and climbed it silently. Halfway up, he found an unusual sight.

Naruto leaned back against the trunk, staring at him in the darkness. In his arms, wrapped in a voluminous sleeping bag, was Hinata, nuzzled into his chest.

He looked away.

"She was supposed to be on watch," he noted expressionlessly.

"True." Naruto didn't elaborate.

"Are you planning on taking my watch, too?"

"No. Just curious if you wanted me to leave Hinata for you," Naruto replied reasonably.

"Che," Sasuke spat.

"Are you sure?" Naruto asked. "She'll keep you warm."

"I will be perfectly fine."

They stared at each other for a moment. Finally, Naruto shook his head.

"You should pick one of your girls, Sasuke," he said finally. "Some of them would do anything for you."

"They're too obsessed with me," Sasuke shot back. "Besides, some of us can think with our minds, not our dicks."

"Really." Naruto shifted Hinata in his arms, letting the sleeping bag fall away, displaying pale flesh that seemed to glow in the darkness. She moaned sleepily as she was moved.

Sasuke carefully didn't look away, despite the heat in his face. In the darkness, it would be invisible.

He hoped.

"Enticing, isn't it," Naruto said quietly, looking down at the girl in his arms with an unreadable expression.

He didn't reply. The tension in his body was answer enough.

"You're a hell of a fighter, Sasuke. Denying what you want can be as much of a weakness as enslaving yourself to it." He grinned, his white teeth flashing in the dark. "I know what you want, Sasuke. I can get it for you."

The sneer formed almost of its own volition. "I want something far more important than the affection of some girl," he all but snarled.

Naruto's grin, if anything, grew wider. "You want many things, Sasuke, just like I do. Revenge may be the one you hold on to, but don't underestimate the others."

Sasuke stared back, momentarily unsettled.

"Ah, well. Time to finish my night's sleep," Naruto said suddenly. He stood up carefully, keeping Hinata in his arms, and, with a jaunty wave to the dark haired boy, stepped off the branch without a sound.


	6. Clients Lie: three

"Good morning, Kakashi-sensei," Hinata said quietly as she emerged from the tent.

"Good morning, Hinata, Naruto," he replied, not looking up from his book.

"Are you cooking?" Naruto asked, right behind Hinata.

"Sasuke started some rice."

"Ah. Nice." Naruto headed for the stream, Hinata beside him, and crouched by the bank, splashing water into his face. He spluttered for a moment, wiping his face with one hand, while the other casually dangled into the water.

Hinata scrubbed lightly at her hands in the clear stream, picking carefully at her fingernails. Anyone with good eyes might have seen how the water around her hands seemed to gel and thicken.

A bit of rotten leaf, floating on the water, swirled between their two hands, then stopped, as if it had ran aground.

Naruto ran his hand through his hair and shifted position, his other hand moving slightly in the water.

The leaf tugged his direction a fraction of an inch. Hinata smiled and nodded to an unseen question. And, as if its journey had never been interrupted, the bit of leaf resumed its trip.

Breakfast was quick and quiet. Sasuke made enough rice for everyone, serving himself and retreating as an announcement it was done. Hinata served Naruto and Kakashi before taking a bowl for herself. It was plain, but filling.

Kakashi waited until the gear had been packed before motioning to them and heading to the pool.

Naruto grinned.

Sasuke looked bored.

"Okay, I want this to be a casual spar," Kakashi began lightly. "Don't kill each other. Don't wound each other. Stop when I tell you to stop. Remember that we're on a mission. Sasuke: no fire jutsu. Naruto: no kage bushin."

Naruto carefully kept the disappointment from his face.

"No kunai, senbon, or shuriken," Kakashi continued. "The purpose of this spar isn't so you can settle your issues, to impress me, or to woo Hinata,"

Hinata and, surprisingly, Sasuke blushed a little at those words. Naruto just looked startled.

"so whatever is running through your aggressive little minds, forget it. I want you to show me that you can fight on the water." He smiled. "And, to make things more interesting, I think you'll do it blind." He pulled out two black bandannas, already folded into strips.

Naruto opened his mouth, looked at Sasuke, then closed it with an audible snap.

They let Kakashi tie the bandannas over their eyes silently, then turned and walked to opposite sides of the pool, Sasuke gliding over the surface of the water, Naruto raising little splashes with each step.

Kakashi grinned in obvious delight at his students' antics.

"Sensei?" Hinata asked. He rarely seemed so… delighted, unless it was on the days he'd show up with a new book.

"Begin!" he said loudly, then crouched down beside Hinata.

Sasuke immediately started sliding across the water, smooth and silent, and Naruto froze in place.

After a moment, she copied her teacher. "Sensei?" she asked again.

He glanced at her, back to the boys, then back to her, and shrugged. "Okay, here's a lesson for you. Tell me what they're thinking, and how it relates to their personal styles. I'll make sure they can't hear us." He began forming seals for a concealment jutsu.

She blinked. That was unexpected. But… okay. She activated her byakugan and peered at the other two. Her clan's bloodline gave her many of the same abilities to read and predict an opponent as the sharingan did, just not the ability to copy them.

After another moment, she began to narrate.

"Sasuke is skilled and confident. He immediately went on the hunt, trusting his ability to be silent as he waits for Naruto to make a mistake. He does not underestimate Naruto's abilities, and expects a many layered trap, so he doesn't stay in one place very long, but he expects to spot the first opening and use it."

Kakashi nodded, watching as Sasuke silently zigzagged back and forth across the pool. "He also hopes to run into Naruto by chance, and rely on his superior taijutsu to win the battle. And Naruto?"

Hinata paused, looking at the blond. "He specializes in deception tactics, so he's very hard to read. He can… he believes he can beat Sasuke, but he mostly practices the most deadly techniques because he says it takes more skill to leave an enemy alive than to kill them, but the best way to live long enough to gain that skill is to leave a trail of harmless corpses. He made a lot of noise at first to conceal his real skill, knowing Sasuke expects that, and is now remaining still and perfectly silent to convince Sasuke that he's really skilled and not going to make a mistake."

"Hmmmmm…" Kakashi said thoughtfully, watching Sasuke orbit silently and Naruto just… stand there. "That's not exactly it. It's true Sasuke is bold and confident, but Naruto isn't so much drawing him into a multilevel web of deception as he is simply being cautious."

"Naruto is not afraid of Sasuke," Hinata protested.

"Mmm, perhaps that is true, but his skill with misdirection is largely because he works to hide himself, keeping any potential enemy, or in this case, Sasuke, from getting something he can use against him."

"Naruto is full of confidence," Hinata again insisted.

"That's true," Kakashi admitted, mollifying the increasingly distraught kunoichi. "He believes in his mind absolutely. However, he also knows that Sasuke is better at taijutsu than he is. So he forced Sasuke to move cautiously, buying him time to gather all the information available and think it through. When he moves it will doubtlessly be to implement some well reasoned plan."

Sasuke had paused towards the edge of the pool, and crouched on the water, letting his hand fall silently through the water's surface as he rummaged around beneath his feet.

"A trap? Maybe… no. Ah. Pebbles," she said as Sasuke's hand emerged from the water, his other hand poised to catch the drip of water.

Sasuke tossed six rocks in quick succession, making a series of splashes as if he'd suddenly darted forward, abandoning stealth for speed.

Naruto twitched, a kunai springing into his hand as he started to throw, then stopped himself and carefully slid the kunai back into his jacket sleeve.

"And the question is," Kakashi said thoughtfully, "is did he really almost forget and try to kill Sasuke, or did he just want to make me think that?"

"Think, probably," Hinata replied.

Kakashi looked at her.

She shrugged. "I guess."

Sasuke threw several more rocks, this time hard and fast, in a closely spaced arc that covered the area where he'd made the splashes. They sailed across the water to hit the soft earth on the other side with tiny thumps.

Naruto chose that moment to start moving, stepping gingerly as he silently slid four feet to one side, coming within inches of the edge of the water.

Sasuke did likewise, once again crouching and rooting through the water for more rocks to throw.

Naruto, on the other hand, grabbed handfuls of dirt and started throwing them in the air as high as he could without making a telltale grunt of effort.

However, the swish of his arm gave him away, and suddenly Sasuke was springing forward, scattering rocks before him. Most hit the bank, but one bounced off Naruto's chest and hit the water with a plop.

Naruto dived to the left, channeling chakra as he hit the water with his shoulder, staying on the surface and rolling to his feet in an instant.

Loose dirt mixed with larger clumps rained down as Sasuke charged, throwing a series of quick silent punches at where he thought Naruto was.

He was quite close, Naruto having been unable to keep silent as he rolled, but Naruto had stepped forward to meet the onrush, and Sasuke attacked from the side, his blows coming inches from Naruto's back.

They both froze, listening to the pattern of splashes at the dirt hit water, none of it near them. But some of the sound was blocked by Sasuke, and Naruto suddenly spun, one leg coming up in a sweeping kick.

At such close range, however, Sasuke heard the small movements of the cloth and breath, and countered with his own kick.

Their legs met with a horrific crack, right across each shin.

Hinata winced at the impact.

A shiver ran up both boys' spine at the pain, and the legs were almost instantly retracted, chambering back with the foot near the hip as they assessed the damage.

Near identical snarls twisted their faces, and they simultaneously kicked again even harder. This time the crack of shin against shin was even louder, punctuated by grunts. They drew back and kicked again.

This time one leg was high and the other low, Sasuke kicking high, spinning with the miss, then leaping over Naruto's head and coming down with a double fisted blow aimed at the blond's head.

Naruto's leg was low, falling short of Sasuke's by less than an inch, and he quickly stuck that foot to the water with chakra and launched a cross scissor kick with his other, pushing himself forward with his right hand. Sasuke's attack ended nearly a foot over his head, but Naruto heard the splashes as he landed. He held himself still and silent.

Sasuke, wary since he'd missed, silently stepped to one side, his hand reaching out for contact. There was none.

The brief exchange had ended, and now, once again, neither knew where the other was.

Naruto slowly changed his position into a crouch, hands and feet on the water. Then he began to concentrate.

Sasuke walked silently back and forth, questing for his opponent, his steps getting faster and faster as he grew better at keeping silent.

Naruto lifted one hand from the water, but it brought a rough globe of water nearly the size of a human head with it, stuck to it with chakra. Using his other hand, he quickly pinched off a series of handfuls, then let them fall back to the surface.

Splash, splash, splash.

Sasuke turned to the sound, but did not immediately run to the attack, wary of a trap.

Splash, splash, splash.

Sasuke slipped closer, gliding across the water as if he was on skates, a tricky application of chakra.

Splash, splash, splash.

Splash.

Sasuke moved even more slowly, perfectly silently, never letting himself be off balance or unready.

Naruto crouched again, both hands in the water on opposite sides, his face stern with concentration. Then, slowly, he stood up. And the surface of the pool came with him.

It looked much like he was standing in the middle of a bed and had the blanket in each hand. As he stood, he pulled it up as two handfuls in a solid sheet. And like a sheet, pulling up in the middle drew back the edges, pulling everything closer to him as he did so. But water slid much more smoothly than a sheet, and Sasuke was unknowingly about two feet closer to Naruto than he thought.

"Saaaaassssuuukkeee…" Naruto cooed. "Surprise."

Sasuke rose onto the balls of his feet and froze, his senses straining for some indication of the coming attack. How did Naruto know where he was?

And suddenly Naruto spun, pulling at the water with all his strength and all his chakra. A suiton master could have used a jutsu, but Naruto didn't know any water techniques, so all he could do was make it stick to him, and itself, and pull. It was heavy, but he was strong, and he pulled hard.

Like pulling a rug out from under someone, Sasuke suddenly found his footing unstable. He didn't curse in surprise, but he did stumble, making two small splashes as he did so, furiously channeling chakra as he tried to regain his balance.

Naruto had no such problem, and was in the air in an instant, dropping the water as he did so. The resulting splash was tremendous, and the wave of water upset Sasuke just one more fraction of a second. Long enough for Naruto's flying tackle to hit.

One arm was pinned to his body by Naruto's bear hug, and Naruto's legs wrapped around his waist at the same time, ankles locking behind his back. They toppled backwards to the water, both using chakra to stay on top.

"GOT!-CHA!" Naruto crowed in triumph despite the punch which thundered into his cheek as he did so. He threw his head back, taking another punch in the process, then slammed his protected forehead into Sasuke's face.

Sasuke punched him three more times as he pulled his head back, then he did it again. And again, despite more punches.

"YIELD! YIELD YOU BAST-OWW!" he yelled, then slammed his head into Sasuke's chin again, pressing his face to the dark haired boy's neck as he tried to finish his declaration. "You can't pry me loose and you can't stop me without killing me! And I can take more pain than you! Yield!"

Sasuke punched him again, this time in the ear, and spit blood in his hair.

"OWW! What is it with you people and my damned ear?!" He slammed his head into Sasuke's face again.

Kakashi chuckled at the sight of his two students beating each other bloody. "So much for subtle," he noted wryly. "I don't think deception is Naruto's real fighting style. More like bloody minded hard headedness."

Hinata didn't say anything, watching in consternation as Naruto, the smartest, most devious person she knew, abandoned all pretense of style and thought and proceeded to continue to slam his bleeding head into Sasuke.

Sasuke was getting more and more desperate. This wasn't fighting, this was two cats in a sack, sinking in a pond. Naruto's legs were making it harder and harder to gasp a breath, and he used his head like a club, heedless of the damage he was accruing himself. But he wasn't called a genius for nothing. So he took a deep breath, punched Naruto in the throat, making him gag, and changed the way he channeled chakra. They both sank slightly into the water, but then his flailing feet caught the shallow bottom and stuck as if it was a tree. Using the powerful muscles in his legs, he pulled himself, and Naruto, under.

The surface of the water continued to ripple with the struggle below. Kakashi watched it with interest as the seconds ticked by, becoming a minute, then two. Then three.

Then four.

"Ano, Sensei, shouldn't we…?" she asked hesitantly.

He shrugged. "They should be able to take ten to fifteen minutes under water without significant brain damage, easy. I'll pull them out in… mmm, call it another fifteen minutes." He gave her a reassuring smile.

Another two minutes went by. The ripples were just as vigorous as before.

"Sensei…" she said worriedly.

"Another fifteen. Don't worry, they'll be fine."

Naruto burst to the surface, gasping, his blindfold askew, but still blinded by water and blood.

Sasuke appeared on the water's surface behind him, still blindfolded, but in considerably better shape despite the cuts on his lips and chin. And he very deliberately waited a second, until Naruto had managed his clumsy climb back onto the water's surface, then kicked him very hard in the side.

Naruto rolled across the water with a grunt of pain, then rolled more as he dodged the heavy stamps of Sasuke's feet, thankful for his new advantage of being able to see, however blurry. He rolled to his feet...

And Sasuke made a certain movement with his left hand.

Naruto ducked right and under, and three strands of ninja wire looped over his head, missing instead of entangling him. He pulled his own out with twin sweeps of both his arms, catching Sasuke's legs, then twisting his hands just so, making the wire kink and bind itself behind him, effectively hobbling him.

But a sinuous whisper of wire against cloth alerted him to the return of Sasuke's coils of wire. There was very little time.

Sasuke ignored his trapped legs for a moment, his split lips twisting into a smile as his wire encircled Naruto, then frowning as, instead of hard resistance, there was a brief tug before only gentle friction. A large splash at almost the same moment told him the story.

He had pulled a kawarimi, swapping a chakra laden ball of water for himself. And since you had to be touching water to put chakra in it, that made him-

Naruto cursed silently to himself as Sasuke back flipped away from his rising uppercut. He pulled on his wire, but it was too late. Sasuke had already slipped the coils.

"Alright, Naruto," Sasuke said calmly, controlling his breathing with some effort.

He held his tongue, silently beginning his stalk of the Uchiha. Vision was going to be a tremendous advantage, and it wasn't exactly cheating. Sasuke had pulled his blindfold off himself as he'd raked Naruto's eyes underwater. He had no one to blame but himself.

"I acknowledge you as the best of us three at leadership. If you have a suggestion, I will give it all due consideration," Sasuke proclaimed.

"WHAT!? REA-"

o/

Naruto's pack was unusually light for something supposedly well stocked with equipment for a mission, for all that it was as full as mine or Hinata's, but that just made him easier to carry. Hinata carried mine, an admittedly lighter burden than Naruto, but neither were exactly happy with our assignments.

'You knocked him out, you carry him,' Kakashi had said.

…Fine. So now his arms were loosely draped to either side of my neck, and I supported him on my back by holding his thighs. It should have been more humiliating, but I just got through kicking the shit out of him so it was okay.

So now, we ran quickly and smoothly along little traveled roads, having exited the forest about half an hour after we resumed our trip. Naruto had been out for nearly two hours, a fact I took some pride in. I had put quite a lot of strength into that axe kick to the back of his head. It had been a thing of beauty. Even Hinata had congratulated me on it, which was slightly odd.

He woke up, finally. He didn't move, didn't stiffen, didn't say anything, didn't change his breathing, or give any of the other telling signs of awareness. No, I knew he woke up when I caught a faint wave of killing intent, quickly clamped off.

Hmm, deliberate? Accidental, but noticed? Irrelevant. I had already decided to mess with him.

I kept carrying him. I bet he didn't expect that.

What would he do?

Move to choke me? Reach for a kunai? Ride all the way to Tomahigiro? Something freaky, designed to unnerve me? Heh.

If he moved to attack, I, naturally, had a little surprise for him. Wire, looped around his neck and down to my fingers. I could let go of his legs and pull on that wire in an instant, and he'd be forced to let go or be garroted, and at the speed I was running, he'd be falling to the ground as I ran ahead, plus I'd probably just hold on to the wire and pull him along by his neck, garroting him anyway, which I found a pleasing mental image.

If he didn't try to attack me, well, I'd just have to see what the path of most inscrutability would be.

Because I had Naruto's measure.

It's amazing what inspirations you can have in the early morning darkness, keeping watch.

So I just kept running.

After about five minutes, I felt him tense, and the killing intent was back.

My fingers tightened on the wire.

And then it choked off again. Naruto was pretty unhappy.

Heh, this was kind of fun. Completely unseemly, incredibly degrading, but fun, and oh so completely worth it.

Then I felt his weight shift, but not like he was moving. He just… changed shape. And suddenly, instead of a flat chest leaned against my back, there were two large, soft lumps being squished between us.

I'm ashamed to say it actually took me a moment to understand what he'd done. I'm even more ashamed to admit that I blushed.

…Seems like he took the freaky route.

But okay, I can deal. My blush faded. So Naruto has breasts. Big deal. Hinata has breasts, too. Perhaps infinitesimally smaller, but nicer because they're real.

Or something. Shit, I was blushing again. This is not helping.

I mentally shook myself, and Sensei slowed us down again to a walking pace to allow us to gain our breath. Feh, as if I needed a break. Hinata didn't look like she was having any trouble, and Naruto certainly didn't need a break, the lazy bastard.

This was about the point Hinata looked over and gasped.

"Naruto! You're… a girl." She shook her head and changed her pace to come to my side. "Is your head alright?"

"Tee hee!" Naruto giggled. "Who's Naruto? I'm Naruko!" She giggled again, though not quite as annoyingly. "Who are you and where are we going?"

"Naruto, there is something wrong with you," I noted quietly. Now was about the time I suppose I'm supposed to put him down and let Hinata tend to him, but I didn't do that.

Hinata giggled. "Sasuke, you know Naruto is just making a joke."

"I stand behind my words."

Long silence. I could actually hear Naruto pout.

"Well, if I'm so messed up, why are you still carrying me?" she said, and she sounded genuinely curious.

"You have nice tits," I replied neutrally. Thought of that line right after Hinata gasped.

Sensei actually stumbled when I said that. Hinata froze and fell back out of sight, so I don't know what she did.

I walked on. I thought about shifting one hand and squeezing 'her' ass, but I doubt Naruto's surprise would be worth having to cut off my own hand.

"…Duly noted, Sasuke," Naruto said, with a note of something indefinable in her voice. Admiration? Respect?

Her hands snaked down my chest and traced my muscles as her breath suddenly grew loud in my ear, close enough to tickle the tiny hairs. "Thank you. A girl likes to know her assets are appreciated by the sexy man in the group."

And she bit my ear!

I nearly dropped her, doubtlessly the idea, but I didn't, since I had a ready counter literally at my fingertips.

"gurk" was all she said.

She let go of my ear pretty quick after that, and I held the tension for another few moments before I let the wire loosen around her neck. Oddly, Naruto seemed to think the ride was over after that, and nearly fell on her cute little ass in her haste to get to her own feet and the wire from around her neck, leaking killing intent in little fits and starts the whole time.

Naruto dropped the jutsu and resumed his shape as a boy as he shucked the wire and threw it in tangles on the ground, his hands actually shaking as he did so. He gave me another look I couldn't hope to decipher and stomped off ahead of us.

Hinata looked at me, then Naruto, with fear, confusion, and hurt, clearly started to go after him, then just as visibly hesitated. She finally scurried after him with a final backwards glance at me that said she would be having words with me later.

Kakashi-sensei looked at me.

"Was it something I said?" I asked. Mentally, I ticked another check. Me two, Naruto zero.

Oh, yeah. I had Naruto's measure.

o/

Hinata had to run hard to catch up with Naruto, who'd managed to disappear quickly after he'd gotten only a hundred yards in front of the rest of the group. Using her byakugan let her catch a glimpse as he fled into the woods, and she quickly followed. Still, it took several moments before she found him again.

Actually, there were two of him, and for one heart wrenching moment, she thought it was the real one that had one of Naruto's guardless wakizashis in his ear. Blood trickled down from where the razor sharp steel was being slowly pressed through the thin flesh and bone, and his eyes were screwed shut in pain and effort as he struggled to break the arm lock the other Naruto had him in.

But no, Naruto wouldn't do that. Hinata had perfect confidence in him.

Still, he was doing something she'd never have imagined.

Finally, the blade broke through the bone with a quick convulsive thrust, reaching deep enough to hit something lethal, and the clone disappeared with a poof.

The real Naruto flinched as if it had been him under the knife when it had suddenly gained those last inches. Absently he wiped the pristine blade on his pants leg and slid it into its sheath behind his back before collapsing onto the ground and hanging his head.

Slowly, Hinata drew forward and sat with her legs crossed to his side, close, but not touching.

He didn't look at her.

"A-ah…" she began hesitantly. "D-did you forget to make the s-shadow clone look like… him?"

"Hinata, you're stu-stu-stuttering again," he snapped.

She recoiled as if slapped, pressing her hands to her mouth, her eyes wide with shock and hurt. It took her a moment to get to her feet, as she nearly lost her balance in her rush to rise, but there was barely time for Naruto to see the first few tears glimmering in her so-pale eyes before she leapt for the trees and was gone.

"SHIT!" he cried. "KAGE BUSHIN NO JUTSU!" followed a split second later, and the new clone was still forming, not even able to raise its hands in self defense before Naruto's blade split its right eye on the journey to the brain, and for a second it lingered between forming and unforming, hate at it and hate at himself, chakra looping and twisting in upon itself.

Caught in the feedback loop, Naruto stiffened like he'd just cut a live wire.

Darkness claimed him.

o/

I must confess, I sort of thought Kakashi-sensei was going to have something witty or insightful to say. Instead, he whipped out his book and proceeded to ignore the hell out of me.

Perhaps that's a lesson in and of itself. I should pick up some reading material next time.

A particularly loud brush of leaves against each other shook me out of my musings to see Hinata standing in the road, her face in her hands. She stood like that for a long moment before clearly sighing and dropping her hands, turning to walk our direction in the next breath.

I watched her with an expression of mild disinterest, though I was curious what she'd say.

"Naruto is close to a group of three small silverleaf trees seven hundred and thirty yards that direction," she said as she drew even with Kakashi-sensei, pointing behind her as she walked. "He wants some time to himself."

"How much time?" I asked, smirking just the tiniest bit. "We don't have all day."

HOLY shitIforgotshenoshe'snever-

I felt like I was moving through syrup. I blinked and then she was there, her hands striking for my chest. I twisted, bringing my arms up to sweep hers aside, but instead of the two fingered juken strike she grabbed my arm, her hands moving as fast as Sensei does sometimes when he wants to make a point. And then her shin connected across my lower stomach, her hands pulled, and the world did this funny spinning thing and I was on my back with Hinata kneeling on my chest with one hand on my throat and her finger pointed at my head for one heart stopping moment-

I saw death in that finger.

-and the finger curled as the hand made a fist which connected very quickly with my split lip, which had finally stopped bleeding about an hour ago. Then it hit my eye.

So I punched her. Nothing fancy, just a right cross to her jaw that snapped her head to the side and sent blood spraying. Pretty strong, that punch. Pretty satisfying.

It hurt a lot when she hit the nerve junction in my right shoulder and I couldn't use that arm anymore. Kakashi-sensei usually calls out 'cripple' strikes when she makes them, and I continue the fight appropriately. The actual experience is a little different. Naruto is right. There really is no substitute for actually trying to kill each other.

Naturally, she hit me in the face again. So I punched her again, this time with my left, and this time I really gave it to her with a nice solid tap on her temple, right behind one of those wild, wide, incredibly crazed eyes of hers.

It should have knocked her out cold. Instead, she hit the nerve junction in my left shoulder. All in all, I could have planned this better.

And… she hit me again. Probably trained in this technique with Naruto. What the hell is it with Naruto and his stupid ass ideas on trading blows to the face? I could just see the two of them, wrestling with each other out at one of the training grounds, trading full force blows to the face. It'd be just like Naruto to think that up. And it'd be just like Hinata to go along with it.

Lacking any better option at the moment, I decided to point out the pointlessness of this exercise in futility to our jounin-sensei.

"Ah, not that t-ng-this isn't fun-grk, but shouldn't we nng be moving again?" I asked in what I hoped was a normal conversational voice, twisting my head to both avoid another blow and send a meaningful look his direction.

Kakashi looked up from his book and smiled, at least I think it was a smile, at me. "Nah, it's fine. I booked extra time for this sort of thing."

"Proper mission planning is essential," I agreed thickly as Hinata punched me in the mouth again.

Stars exploded behind my eyes. That one had had a touch of juken to it. Hinata grabbed my hair with her hand and shook my head lightly.

"Look at me," three Hinata's hissed.

"You have my attention," I admitted truthfully. All of them did.

"I don't know what you said or did to Naruto, but you need to listen to me." She gave my head a little shake, which made my vision swim just that much more. "Never, ever, NEVER do it again."

"Are you finished?" I asked.

She stopped, blinked, and frowned. "I-"

"Good." I kicked upward with my right leg hard enough to throw her body upwards, though her hand was still locked into the fabric of my shirt at my throat so it wound up making her do a sort of hand stand on my neck. My left knee shot up faster than she was moving and slammed into her sternum, forcing all her breath out with a whuff and hastening her arc to land on her back. I kicked with my foot against the ground, spinning myself around while she curled around her stomach, writhing in pain, and dropped a heel right across the side of her head with, I admit, a certain amount of vindictiveness.

That time, she stopped moving.

I quickly flipped to my feet, my arms still flopping uselessly at my sides. I frowned at the unconscious kunoichi.

"And a little advice to you," I replied. "Never, ever, NEVER try that again."

Kakashi-sensei looked up from his book again. "It kind of loses its sting when they're unconscious, you know."

I glared at him, and I could already feel my eye swelling shut.

"You gonna carry her now?" he asked.

My reply was simple and definite. "No." Let Naruto do it, when he got back from his cry or his planning session or whatever the hell he was doing.

"Don't do it Hinata," he warned.

What- Like a fool, I glanced at the ground first, where, of course, she was no longer laying. A blur appeared in the corner of my vision. Very, very slowly, I turned just enough to see that it was a hand, two fingers extended, pointing at my temple.

"Next time, I'm just going to kill you," Hinata said quietly, the fire gone from her voice.

"There won't be a next time," I warned.

Kakashi picked that moment to stand, closing his book as he did so. "Well then, so long as we all understand each other," he said brightly.

o/

The streets were clean, the buildings looked newly painted, and throngs of people bustled about, each one intent on his or her own little mission, but the buzz of polite, meaningless conversation filled the air.

The only strange thing about the city was that there was no sky.

Instead of white clouds and a yellow sun and pale blue sky, it was dark. But it wasn't like night, with a field of star splattered velvet. And it wasn't like a cloudy, pitch black moonless night, either. Instead, up just kind of kept going up… until up was indefinable and lost.

There was light, though. Plenty of light. The colors were cheery and bright, and the people had ready smiles on their faces when they saw each other. There weren't any dark alleys or shadowed expressions.

Oh, wait. There was one more strange thing about the city.

All of the people, from the stumbling, barely toddling along little girl, to the man selling figs and plums under an awning, to a curvaceous woman attracting lustful glances, to a teenage boy and a teenage girl holding hands… they all had his face.

Nah. Not all that strange. The lack of sky was what was really weird.

Naruto wandered aimlessly among the people, never being jostled or impeded despite the numbers, just another Naruto in the crowd, staring up at the strange, skyless... …up.

None of the rest of him looked up. It was like they couldn't see it. Admittedly, he couldn't see it either, so he finally gave up and started looking around him.

People.

So many people.

And every one of them had his face set incongruously on top of whatever body they had been graced with. They were all talking, nearly constantly; just a continuous flow of words that individually had meaning but when listened to sequentially failed to say anything at all.

It was comforting, really. He liked it here.

There was one place, though, that none of him went.

Almost against his will, he found himself going there.

The crowd just stopped, and he walked along a now deserted street, heading for the biggest building in the whole city. It was huge, like a warehouse the size of Konoha. It had a wall around it, and a rusty gate hanging slightly ajar.

He slipped inside the gate and immediately saw a door set into the side of the building. It was a normal sized door, but it seemed incredibly tiny against the immense vastness of the side of the building.

He opened it and stepped in.

The warehouse was empty. If it seemed huge from the outside, it was even bigger from the inside. The walls stretched away forever from him, and the far side was a hazy promise rather than something he could actually see. A row of colossal fans were set into the wall far off to his right, turning slowly, their blades chopping the fading orange light filtering in from the outside. But despite the appearance of being in a building, the ceiling was just like the sky outside.

It wasn't there.

Naruto wandered in, following no set path, though he didn't appear to get near any wall, even the one he'd come in from. Or, at least, the one he thought he'd come in from. He stared upwards the entire time, searching for some sign of rafters or roof or anything, but there was nothing but more gloom and nothingness.

"Why do you look up?"

Naruto whirled around, staring, looking for the source of the voice. It appeared to come from everywhere and nowhere, ageless and genderless at the same time.

"Why do you look up?" the voice repeated.

Again, Naruto couldn't find the source of the voice. Hesitantly, he opened his mouth and replied.

"Because there's nothing there?" he hazarded.

"Why don't you look around?"

"Because there's nothing there, either," he replied.

"You see nothing and you want to look at nothing?" the voice asked, sounding incredulous, and slightly contemptuous.

Naruto felt stupid. "Look, what else is there?" he demanded.

"Try looking down."

Blinking, Naruto did just that, and was startled to find himself on the edge of a hole in the ground, maybe ten feet across, with a sharp slope down along one edge, leading into the darkness. There was a fox sitting primly along one edge, tail curled around its hips. It had red fur and a pale chest, and couldn't have been more than a foot tall.

It looked at him. Its eyes were bright.

He stared at it.

"You?" he asked. "Were you the one talking?"

The fox didn't say anything. It just kept looking at him, following him as he walked around the rim of the hole to the slope.

He paused, looking at the fox.

"I uh, I guess I'm supposed to go down, huh?" he asked.

It just kept looking at him.

Naruto swallowed nervously, then went down.


	7. Clients Lie: four

He awoke to someone shaking him.

"Huh? Whazzat?" he said blearily, sitting up and holding his head, which throbbed with pain.

"NARUTO!" Hinata cried, throwing her arms around him and sobbing helplessly into his jacket.

"Hinata? Hinata!" he exclaimed, his brain catching up with what was happening. "Hinata, I'm sorry!"

"Wannnh!" she cried harder, fingers balling into his jacket. She knelt, one leg to each side of his right thigh, giving him enough room to rise and her enough room to slump against him as if she was a puppet with its strings cut.

With a start, he noticed that her face had an ugly, purplish bruise across it, her lip was split, and one of her eyes had swollen shut and was turning deep red. His heart seemed to stop, and his blood ran hot for one long moment.

His fist tightened on her jacket and jerked her up, her tear streaked face meeting his.

"Hinata, what happened?" he demanded, his voice low and angry.

Hinata blubbered for a moment more, too distraught to answer.

He slapped her, just a light tap, on the unbruised side of her face. The shock made her stop crying for a moment and stare at him.

"Hinata…" he growled. "Who hit you?"

"S-s-s-sas-ssuke…" she finally got out.

He nodded, having expected that answer. For a moment he just sat there, the neck of her jacket in his fist, as if he'd forgot about her, staring into space. Then he shook his head, one quick jerk, and looked at her again.

"Why?"

"A-a-ah…" she stuttered for a moment, then swallowed and looked resolute. "Because I attacked him and threatened to kill him if he ever did… whatever he did to you again." The tears fled from her eyes as a look of silent murder filled them.

"You threatened to kill him?" Naruto asked with a tone of mounting shock and disbelief, edging towards anger. "I've been cultivating Sasuke since we ended up on a team together, and while he's been openly distrustful of me, you were never on his threat list! And now you've threatened to kill him?!"

She flinched, expecting him to hit her. "He attacked you with wire, did something that made you very angry. I didn't understand it, but I didn't see everything and _I'm sorry_," she said in a rush, losing the determination in favor of self recrimination. "I failed you, Naruto, and I promise it will never, ever, _never_ happen again!" She grabbed at his hand with hers, holding it tight in her grip as if afraid he'd pull away from her.

"You didn't notice the wire, fine. Sasuke is a fiend with wire, even I didn't notice it and it was around MY neck. But you may have ruined…" He trailed off, then gave her a hard look. "What happened?"

Tears welled up in her eyes again. "After seeing you so upset I… I…" her voice filled with self loathing, "_abandoned_ you and went to confront that bastard Sasuke. I held my intent, just like you showed me, took him down, showed him that I could kill him with a finger, then punched him in the face for a while." Despite years of family training in reading expressions, Naruto remained blank to her, neither approving or disapproving. She hurried to complete her report. "He got in several blows to my head and face before I disabled his arms, then proceeded to make ironic comments to Kakashi-sensei, completely ignoring me as a threat despite the damage he was taking."

"Ignoring you as a threat?" Naruto asked.

She frowned. "I don't really understand it. He acted like he was in pain when I hit him, but he never seemed afraid for his life, even when I showed that I was prepared to make a juken strike that would have killed him in one hit."

"Really."

"Yes. Then I threatened to kill him. Again, he didn't seem like he believed me. Sasuke can't hide his emotions like you can, Naruto-sama, and he was not afraid. He did not believe me. I was confused, and let myself be distracted long enough for him to kick me off and use a heel drop kick across my face, here," she said, indicating the ugly red bruise and swollen eye. "I pretended to be knocked out as he rose and spoke to Kakashi-sensei, and when he looked away I rose and decided to kill him, but Sensei stopped me," she hastily assured Naruto. "And he still didn't believe I would do it."

Naruto nodded, still looking at her with a blank, unreadable gaze.

She wilted under his stare. "I'm so sorry, Naruto-sama, I took it upon myself and hurt your plans, and I abandoned you, and you got hurt somehow and I came to get you because Kakashi-sensei says it's time we moved on but you were hurt and unconscious and I couldn't wake you and I was scared and you woke up and I was so happy and I started crying and-"

He shook her gently, enough to cut off her babble.

"I'm sorry, Naruto-sama," she said meekly. "Please punish me as you see fit."

Suddenly his hands appeared, one on each side of her head, his fingers spread over the hinge of her jaw, his middle fingers digging into the hollow behind her ear.

Tears sprang to her eyes, one open wide, the other barely half open due to the swelling, and her jaw moved involuntarily with the pressure as twin lances of pain reached deep into her skull where Naruto's fingers touched her.

Her mouth parted slightly, and a faint "aaaaa," of pain came tremulously from her lips, and Naruto just looked on impassively, his fingers digging harder.

Her vision started to white out, but his face loomed larger and larger, and then his lips pressed against hers hard enough to bruise, forcing her mouth wider despite the increase in pain it caused. His tongue slipped inside and found hers waiting, and, impossibly, Hinata kissed back, fighting the immense strength of his hands not to get away from the agony, but to take more of it and kiss back harder, completely accepting everything Naruto was doing to her.

They kissed for a long, long moment-

And then the pain was gone and so were his lips.

Freed from the paralyzing effect of the pain points behind her ears, Hinata moaned deep in her throat as she collapsed on him, her hands on his jacket, her breath coming hot against his throat, and her hips thrusting unconsciously against him.

Naruto wrapped his arms around her and shifted, raising his right leg beneath her to press from below.

Caught by this unexpected sensation, Hinata shuddered and quaked in his arms, her eyes rolling back in her head as she tucked a fold of his jacket in her mouth and bit down.

Naruto studied her little fit with the same impassive face he'd worn since she'd finished her story. Reaching a decision, he formed a seal behind her back and formed three clones which sprang into being around them, all of which stopped and stared at the quivering kunoichi in his arms. Two immediately turned to face one another and slapped each other lightly across the cheeks before one transformed into a clone of Hinata and they both leapt to rejoin the team.

The third paused a moment, kneeling beside them and stroking her hair a few times as she nuzzled into his chest. Then it, too, hurried away.

Gradually, the intense sensations faded to the point she could sit up and awkwardly smooth out the wrinkles she'd put in his jacket, rubbing briefly where she'd slobbered.

He grabbed her chin gently and tilted her head so she looked him in the eye. "I'm not mad. Things have been being kind of stale, and it takes conflict to shake them up. While I would prefer that things had been a little more controllable, I learned something vital about myself today, and we've got important clues about the situation we just have to put together." He fixed her with a stern look. "However, no more threatening potential allies without my approval, okay?"

"Yes, Naruto-sama!" she replied quickly, her tone light and happy. He rather thought that, flushed and breathless and completely hanging on his every word, she was rather adorable.

Naruto sighed. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Anything you want," was her prompt reply.

He smirked and jerked his chin slightly, as if repressing a single noise of amusement or pleasure.

"And what should I do with Sasuke?"

"Wait until we're in a fight with a reasonably dangerous enemy. Kill the enemy. Kill him. Make it look like enemy action." Her words were clipped and prompt. She'd been thinking about the question.

He smiled, and it was not a nice one. "My little vixen." She preened under his words. "No, no, that's always an option, and admittedly, after my unfortunate discovery, it was the one I favored for a while. But we will not kill allies just because they are dicks. It sets a bad precedent. In all likelihood, at least a third of the people we will end up having to work with will be assholes who are hard to deal with."

She pouted, ever so slightly.

He laughed and pushed her off him, rising to his feet and pulling her along. "Come on. I sent some clones in our place, but we still need to keep up." He began leading the way towards the road. "First, I'll tell you what _really_ happened when Sasuke choked me. And then, we've got some plans to make. You've gathered the puzzle pieces, now we just need to figure out what it means."

o/

The road grew wider and better maintained, but they still didn't see anyone traveling it. As the day wore on the temperature soared, and they started running into more and more streams, mostly spanned by bridges, though there were a couple with stone laid washes. Sasuke walked across them on top of the shallow, fast moving water. Naruto and Hinata paused to splash their feet through the cool water.

The two of them had caught up and used kawarimi to take their doppelgangers' places while Sasuke looked in another direction. Kakashi looked up briefly from his book at the back of the pack, but Naruto figured that if he didn't say anything, it was either approval or tactic permission and, either way, quiet. Freed from their masquerade, the clones sped ahead to scout.

For the first several hours, including during the walking period that let them wolf down rice balls and drink from canteens, no one said anything. Sasuke, for all that his face looked exactly like his two teammates had spent a significant portion of the day pounding on it, traveled with an air of security and smugness that honestly made Hinata want to take another swing at him. At least every now and then he'd rub his shoulders, Hinata knew exactly how much it hurt and tingled after a limb had been disabled by a juken strike and was gradually getting its function back.

Naruto spent his time deep in thought, relying on Hinata to watch the surroundings. He spent a lot of time staring at the inside of his head. One thing he had not told Hinata was the dream he'd had after the chakra backlash from a clone stuck between forming and dispelling had knocked him out. Ordinarily, he'd dismiss a dream as just noise in the neurons. But Naruto didn't dream like that. Mostly, he dreamed of memories, memories, both bad and good, which came to him disconnected and nonlinear.

Walking through a town full of him, however, able to think, move, and remember like he was awake, that spoke of something new. It still might just be a psychic backlash from the clone, but he wasn't sure. It bore investigation.

Kakashi took them off the road at one point, and it was even hotter and more oppressively humid in the stillness among the trees, which changed from the massive, sheltering species that dominated the lands around Konoha to new types, mostly thinner, with fewer limbs except for the very tops and craggy, shaggy bark. Bogs and swamps became common, and it was getting rare to see dry land between the trees. Kakashi led them across the water at a run, and they were all grateful for the water walking lessons the previous day. Slogging through the water and muck would have quadrupled the time it was taking them to use the shortcut.

Finally, they emerged from the bogs onto another road, this one smaller and obviously not heavily traveled. Kakashi signaled for a stop and immediately pulled out his book again while his team of genin quickly took seats along the side of the road and rested. After a few minutes, a gentle breeze started blowing from the east, drying sweat and setting the leaves to rustling.

Hinata activated her byakugan and looked around, then rubbed her calf muscles thoughtfully, staring at her own legs. She looked around again.

Naruto pulled out three small rice balls from his pack, wrapped in seaweed. He tossed one to Hinata, and the other to Sasuke, aiming to hit the boy in the chest if he didn't catch it.

He caught it. "What kind of poison did you put in it?"

Naruto snorted. "Don't be stupid. It's antidote for the poison I put in your fish last night."

Sasuke looked at it dubiously, then ate it when the others did. It made about two bites.

"Ano, Sensei, the chakra coils in our legs show signs of strain," she said, having finished her own rice ball.

Kakashi looked up. "Feeling sore?"

"Some. But I'm beginning to have trouble focusing chakra properly, and I see the same indicators in Sasuke."

"Naruto?"

"Except Naruto," she agreed.

Kakashi hummed thoughtfully to himself. "So not everyone. Other than your legs, how are you feeling, Hinata?"

"Tired and sore," she said, rubbing lightly at the now black bruise along the side of her face. "Sasuke kicks hard."

"And you, Sasuke?" he asked, turning to the once handsome Uchiha.

"Nothing that would affect my ability to fight," he replied stoically. His entire face showed bruises ranging from nearly black to light purple.

"Naruto?"

"Tired," Naruto admitted. "Nothing hurts anymore, but I'm tired like I got my ass kicked this morning and then ran all day." His own bruises and cuts had completely faded before they'd even had lunch.

Sasuke turned and looked at him, one eyebrow arched painfully.

Naruto gave him a wry smile. "You won this morning, no argument."

"Actually, I was thinking about the fact that I carried you for over two hours," Sasuke replied just as wryly. "Yet you still say you ran all day."

Naruto smirked in return. "Are you sure you carried me, and not a clone?"

Sasuke's smirk dimmed.

"At any rate, I've…" he trailed off, looking thoughtful.

Kakashi lowered his book.

Hinata formed seals and looked around suspiciously, and Sasuke got to his feet, looking wary.

"What is it?" Sasuke asked, eyes scanning the trees.

"Blood," Naruto replied quietly. "Old blood."

"You can smell it?" Kakashi asked, his visible eyebrow raised.

"I have a nose, don't I?" Naruto replied.

Kakashi inclined his head. "Tell me, then, about the blood."

Naruto frowned, closed his eyes and concentrated. "There's a lot of it, but it's a long way away. It's really faint… Hold on." He formed a seal. "Kage bushin no jutsu."

Two dozen clones were formed, spreading out across the road, some leaping into the trees. They all took up thoughtful stances, eyes closed, sniffing into the wind.

"Lots of it," one clone in a tree confirmed.

"Probably spread out over an area," another added from a tree on the other side of the road.

"Day, maybe day and a half old."

"And…" another clone said thoughtfully, and paused. With a series of pops, the clones began disappearing, finally leaving only the real Naruto behind, who took a deep breath.

"Has the scent of punctured intestines in it," he said finally. "Real savage, whatever spread that carnage around.

"Good, Naruto," Kakashi said. "Now, what kind of blood is it?"

Naruto frowned. "I…" He frowned again. "I don't know."

"Good nose. You need to train it." Kakashi gave him a smile mostly hidden behind the mask. "It's cow."

"Looks like we're going in the right direction, then," Sasuke said. "Maybe we can kill whatever it is tonight."

"I like that idea," Naruto admitted. "And maybe have a good meal tonight. The smell is making me hungry."

"The beef?" Sasuke asked.

"The carnage."

o/

The sun had dipped low in the sky as the road widened into a large clearing lightly screened with trees on the eastern side. There was a large house with a stone fence around it in the center of the clearing, wide and sprawling and brightly colored. A big barn, stone around the bottom and the rest wooden, loomed over the house a few hundred yards away, and split log fences ran every which way, especially around the several acre garden, warding it from the depredations of farmstock.

Naruto's nose flared. The scent of congealed blood was everywhere.

Sasuke stared. Hinata pointed.

"Live cows, next to the barn," she said.

"They look… skinny," Sasuke added. "And wary."

Three emaciated cows stood close together in the shadow of the barn. Periodically, their heads would dip and grab a mouthful of hay from the small piles strewn there, but they would quickly raise their heads and look around suspiciously again.

"The house, first," Kakashi said, breaking into a sprint, slow enough they could follow.

The house was dark and quiet. They prowled through it without so much as a squeak of loose floorboard, noting the lack of dust, the long cold kitchen, the lack of mess. No blood marred the place, other than the ever-present stench that wafted in from the outside. There were things missing, however. Walls with blank spaces clearly meant for pictures. Blankets. Clothes. Personal effects of many kinds.

They met again outside the front door, and a second Naruto joined them.

"Found the source of the blood," he began without preamble. "Barn doors have been smashed open, looks like about two, maybe three cows' worth of bits. There's another spot just outside the barn where I think a dog died. And there's over a dozen separate kill sites in the trees and the pastures on the other side of the trees, ranging from about as old as the kills in the barn, to pretty damned old, weeks at least."

"The people got scared and left," the real Naruto noted. "When did they send someone to Konoha to pay for the mission? Did we have a time we were supposed to be here, or did they just get nervous and run?"

Kakashi shook his head. "This was a low priority mission that came in four days ago, and they sat on it waiting for the right team to be free, before they gave it to us. If they'd been immediately worried, they could have paid to make it more of a priority. Something changed."

"There were nine people living in the house, and four more living in the quarters behind it," Sasuke added. "It looks like they took as much as they could, but only the essentials. Whatever it was scared them even though there were at least ten, maybe eleven adults living here."

"I saw wagon, horse, and several sets of people tracks leading away," Hinata chimed in. "Looks like they were too heavily loaded to carry everyone. This was not rushed, they took at least a half day to prepare."

"Excellent job," Kakashi said. "Now, to find out who else has been here." He pulled a scroll out of a vest pocket, bit his thumb, and unrolled and streaked blood down the scroll with a series of smooth, practiced motions. Then he formed a long series of seals, blood splattering both his hands, and thrust his hand down at the ground, where lines of chakra seemed to spread. "Kuchiyose no jutsu!"

With a large puff of smoke, five large dogs and one small one appeared, each dressed in oddly appropriate garb.

"Yo, Kakashi," the smallest said, raising one paw. "Smells like a slaughterhouse."

Naruto raised one eyebrow, staring at the nin-dogs with undisguised interest.

"Hey, Pakkun," Kakashi greeted in return, giving a subtle nod of welcome to the other dogs present. "I'd like you all to meet my cute genin team: Sasuke, Naruto, and Hinata." He gestured to each in turn.

Pakkun got up and walked around them each in turn, staring up at them. Naruto crouched to the ground and Hinata quickly followed, while Sasuke remained standing, looking down his nose at the small, pug nosed dog. Neither Naruto nor Hinata made any move to pet the dog, fearing that the gesture would be condescending.

"You smell like death and old blood," Pakkun said thoughtfully, completing his circuit around Naruto.

Naruto looked surprised.

"You smell like lust and pain," he said, coming back to the fore after his circle around Hinata.

Hinata looked embarrassed.

"You smell like hatred and frustration," he finished thoughtfully, sitting on his haunches and appraising Sasuke's look of indifference before turning to Kakashi. "And these are your genin?"

Kakashi nodded happily. "Death, bloodlust, pain, and hatred. They're like wild dogs just recently met."

The small dog nodded, then turned back to the motley trio. "Well. I'm Pakkun. If you're good, I'll let you touch my pads," he said, lifting one paw again to show the underside. "They're really really soft."

Ignoring the tempting offer, Naruto leaned forward, placing one hand on the ground for balance but keeping the other lifted, the way a dog might. He sniffed deeply. "And you…" he said thoughtfully, letting a puzzled expression form on his face. "You smell like floral shampoo and… trust?"

Pakkun and Kakashi exchanged a look.

"Yes," was all Kakashi said.

"Anyway," he continued, "I need you to tell me how many people were here, when they left, and what direction they left in. Also, I want to know what and how many killed the cows, where they came from, and where they left to."

The dogs scattered in the blink of an eye.

"We'll watch from the roof of the barn," Kakashi announced, and led the way. As they moved he watched his students carefully, noting their reactions to the nearly overpowering stench of day old cow shreds. Naruto and Sasuke seemed to have no reaction at all, and even Hinata didn't have much, though she did dab a touch of salve onto her nostrils. He wondered what their reactions would have been if it were the family brutally murdered in the barn, rather than just cattle. Being inured to wanton slaughter wasn't exactly a good thing. All of them needed more empathy.

The roof of the barn was a series of angles ranging from pretty steep towards the sides to not very at the peak. They clustered up roughly in the middle, since the side of the barn faced the house and it gave them relatively unobstructed views of both the house and the eastern pastures. The barn's shadow was getting extremely long as the sun touched the horizon to the west, making the house all but lost in the glare, and the trees to the east took on a more sinister air as the shadows between them deepened.

Kakashi's nin-dogs ran swiftly back and forth, following the invisible trails of scent. Pakkun and two of the others concentrated on the house, while the rest scoured the fields at a breakneck pace.

"That's a pretty useful technique," Naruto commented.

"Yes, it can be," Kakashi agreed, but didn't volunteer anything else.

Shrugging slightly, Naruto collapsed onto the roof, taking off his jacket and using it for a pillow. After a moment, Hinata did the same.

After several long, quiet minutes, Sasuke took a seat as well.

It took nearly ten minutes before a small brown and blue blur shot up to the roof of the barn in a series of leaps. Pakkun didn't seem the least winded by his exertions as he appeared in a seated position in front of Kakashi, the doggy equivalent of standing at attention.

"There were thirteen humans and four dogs living in and around the house long term," Pakkun began. "Seven females and six male humans, two and two of the dogs. Three of the dogs were killed, one just outside the barn, two more in the trees. One female was a fearful sort and stayed close to the house, it left with the people along the road. It and all of the people smelled stressed and anxious, but unhurt. Additionally, two more human scents came, entered the house briefly, and left last night or early this morning." The dog paused thoughtfully. "There were thirty seven dead cattle, mostly concentrated in the pasture beyond that screen of trees and more than a week old." He paused again, looking at Kakashi.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know what did it, exactly," Pakkun confessed. "They smell musky, almost like a bear, but not exactly. It had more of a… greasy, predatory smell to it almost like a wolverine, but not like that either. The smell of rotting meat was left in the tracks, like something that killed with its claws and didn't clean them very often." The dog wrinkled its pug nose in distaste. "It's not a pleasant smell. Whatever they are, they're foul and wasteful. Most of each cow killed was spoiled and left behind, we found the graves where the farmers must have buried the remains."

"How many were there?" Kakashi asked.

Pakkun gave a dog equivalent of a shrug. "I'm not sure. At least five, there were three separate scents from two nights ago, but at least two more that were older and didn't match those. There may have been eight or more over time, but the scent was mostly washed away and I can't be sure." The dog shook its head and stood up, walking up to the very peak of the roof and staring off to the northeast. "I can't even tell you exactly where they came from," he said, and there was a trace of surprise in the tone. "They came from the swamp, and we lost their trails pretty quickly in the water, and I can't tell you how they managed that. They returned to the swamp as well, not always exactly where they came out from, and again, we couldn't follow the scent very far even though the scent should be easy to find in the stillness between the trees and pooled over the water."

"Well, so much for tracking them down now," Naruto commented. "I guess we'll have to wait for them to come to us."

"There was one odd thing," Pakkun added. "The two humans who visited after the main group left, their scents came in from the road, and left by the road. But we also smelled them again at the edge of the swamp. I can't tell you how they got there, or how they left. But they were there, briefly."

Kakashi nodded. Then, oddly, he closed his eye for several long minutes, clearly thinking about the problem.

Naruto, privately, got a kick out of it. Watching Kakashi ponder thoughtfully was a lot like listening to Sasuke's say 'hn' instead of real words.

At length, he opened his eye again and fixed them with a piercing look.

"Okay, students," he began.

They perked up subtly. Clearly, it was lesson time.

"Knowing what we now know about the situation, what do you each think we should do?" he asked, raising his eyebrow.

"We should follow the trail our clients left behind and speak to them," Sasuke replied promptly. "It's getting late in the day, but your dogs are following scent, the sky is clear, and there's going to be a waning quarter moon tonight."

Kakashi inclined his head, acknowledging the answer, but not replying to it.

Hinata looked at Naruto, who had a thoughtful expression on his face. He shook his head and motioned for her to go ahead.

Frowning nervously at suddenly being forced to say what she thought, she swallowed and spoke up quietly. "A-ano, I think we should stay here for the night. The mission is to kill what was killing the cattle, and there are three cows left. If they didn't come last night, they should be getting hungry by now and should come again tonight. We can kill the ones that come tonight, then find our clients tomorrow."

Kakashi inclined his head again.

"We should stay," Naruto said quietly, then closed his mouth again. He looked down at the roof, then out across the pastures to the swamps beyond.

Kakashi gave him a moment, but it was Sasuke who spoke up.

"Stay? Why?" Sasuke asked, his tone becoming derisive. "Because you're too tired to keep going?"

Naruto gave him an even look in return, his eyes hard. "You have your point, Sasuke. We need to find the clients, because they may be in danger and we clearly need their information to deal with what is obviously not just a pack of wolves killing a few cows." He paused, looking at Hinata. "I'll even admit that there's a very low chance of whatever it is returning tonight. Regular animals don't attack when large numbers of people are around and then stay away when no one is home.

"However," and he leaned forward to make his words a bit more intense, "there are still things to be learned. We haven't looked at the tracks. We haven't looked at the remains of the cows. But most importantly, we ARE tired. You and I fought hard this morning. You and Hinata fought after that. And if none of our injuries are crippling, they still slow us down. Yes, we could keep going. None of us are even close to our limit, but we are tired and are hurting. If we hadn't spent a large portion of the day beating the hell out of each other, I'd say keep going. If there was some sign that the clients were in immediate danger, I'd say keep going. But as it stands, it's a risk we shouldn't make. Stay here, learn what we can learn, eat, sleep, heal, kill what shows up if anything does, and find the clients in the morning." He finished, never wavering, maintaining eye contact with Sasuke the entire time.

Sasuke wavered, looking to Kakashi, who gave nothing away, then at Hinata, who was looking at Naruto, then back at Naruto. He blinked slowly, then nodded. "Okay."

Naruto didn't smile, just nodded acknowledgement. "Okay, then my first suggestion is we look at the tracks, try to find any hair left behind, and then I want to look at the dead cows in the barn. How they were killed will tell us a lot about how the beasts we're after fight, whether they use claws, teeth, or what."

Kakashi nodded. "We'll do that, then. You three do it, I'll watch."

Naruto hesitated a second, then gave Kakashi a crooked grin. "Hey, since the people are gone, do you think it'd be okay if I sent a clone or two to raid their kitchen for anything left? I'm not kidding, the smell really is making me hungry."

o/

"Hair, Naruto," Hinata said, bringing two strands back from a small bush. Tracks were all over the place, but the pasture had thick grassy sod and didn't take a print well, so they'd ended up in the boggy, wet ground at the edge of the east pasture where it met the edge of the swamp.

Naruto looked up from the large paw print he, Sasuke, and Kakashi were squatted around and carefully took the two hairs. The light was dying fast, and the shadows were getting long, but they looked more or less brown to him. He held them out to the other two, who had looked up from their intense study of the track to see the hair.

"Brown," Kakashi noted. "That's consistent with some bears, at least."

The track was, as pointed out by Kakashi when he found that their tracking skills weren't adequate to read details into unknown prints, more or less consistent with a bear, at least if the bear had steak knives for claws, given that the marks the claw tips made in the mud were nearly four inches from the pads. However, as Kakashi pointed out, the print was very large, but the track was disturbingly light in the extremely soft muck, indicating the animal must have been extremely gaunt, an odd characteristic given it killed the cattle but did not eat them.

"So we're looking for a really big, really skinny, brown bear-thing?" Naruto said dubiously. "You know, I always wondered how useful the academy lessons were, but I learned them anyway. And now, here we are out in the wide world, and, just like I thought, no one covered stuff I would actually like to know, like what the hell made this track." He shook his head. "It's a damned good thing I studied stuff outside the academy lectures, or I'd be feeling pretty useless right now. Let's go look at the bloody remains."

The barn doors were closed, such as they were. The hinges of one were broken on the bottom and so warped up top it seemed strained just trying to keep the door upright. Naruto managed to get the opposite door to swing open, noting the large chunks of splintered wood missing from it as well, and released the miasma of blood and offal, which rolled out as an almost physical cloud.

The inside of the barn appeared to almost be painted black.

Blood, when fresh, comes in a variety of shades of red, depending on how oxygenated it is. When allowed to sit around and clot, however, it turns so dark as to be nearly black. There was no mistaking it as anything but blood, though.

And bits of cow.

LOTS of cow bits.

The cows had been ripped to shreds and tossed violently around the insides. Stall walls, support posts, and part of the hayloft had been broken into shards and splinters by flying beef. Part of a head, the largest single piece in the entire barn, dangled by a strip of skin from a smashed part of the underside of the hay loft. One side, probably the side that had met the sturdy timbers of the loft, was smashed to pulp. The other side… There was a piece taken out of the left side, including the eye, ear, and horn. It didn't look much like a bite, more like a scoop, as if something had taken a swing at the cow with a razor sharp spoon.

Short lengths of guts dangled from nails and jagged ends of boards. Intestinal contents had be spattered across the ceiling. Some boards simply ended, sheared off as neatly as if they had been cut to length.

"Wow," Naruto said softly, impressed. "Now THAT is impressive."

Hinata looked around carefully, looking for incongruous clues which might be found under the gore.

Sasuke stood frozen in shock for nearly half a minute, which escaped no one's' notice, before he swallowed and regained his composure. "Yes, the cows were killed with some violence, as if the killer or killers were enraged."

Naruto shook his head. "Nah, anyone can go nuts and slaughter an entire…" He hesitated, looking at Sasuke, then continued, "…barn of cows. Takes a little time and some effort, but you can get the blood smeared around just fine. No, I was talking about the flies. Or, that is, lack of them. I have no idea what could scare off flies from a feast like this. It's not like the barn was sealed, and the smell reached us miles away. Every fly in the surrounding twenty miles should be here buzzing around, but I haven't seen a single one."

With a start, both Sasuke and Hinata realized he was right.

Naruto looked at Kakashi, who stood a little way apart from the group. "Sensei? Your student freely admits he does not know what the hell is going on here, and humbly asks your guidance."

"Don't be sarcastic, Naruto, it makes you smell bitter," Kakashi replied. "Pakkun was just too polite to mention it."

Naruto looked offended.

"However, there is no trace of any chemical scent here that should keep flies away. I even looked for traces of chakra, like a lingering genjutsu aimed at flies, but there isn't anything of that nature either. The absence of flies may well be important to determining the nature of our prey."

Naruto sniffed deeply, apparently with some satisfaction as he carefully took off his jacket and put it on a 'clean' patch of dirt outside the barn. He also produced a flashlight from his backpack, and, stepping gingerly, walked into the barn.

"What exactly are you doing?" Sasuke asked, following, his curiosity getting the better of him as Naruto pulled a senbon out of his pouch and started poking carefully at a lump of flesh about the side of two fists put together.

"I'm looking for tool marks. Actually, bite marks or claw marks. Everything, sharp, dull, pointy, edged, whatever, leaves unique marks in flesh," Naruto explained absently turning the meat over. "Round teeth like the canines in dogs, cats, or most other predators make puncture wounds. Incisors cut into the flesh, but they're usually really dull. Molars grind and tear. Most animals have to use their whole body to tear off chunks of flesh with strength, not by cutting. Claws, on the other hand, create curving puncture wounds. If they're pulled through the flesh, they leave big rips because they don't actually have sharp edges.

"You see, claws aren't actually used for killing. They're there to hold on to things. Grip. A cat grabs the mouse with its claws, but it kills with its bite. A dog mostly uses its claws to grip the ground while it bites. I'm not familiar with bears, but I imagine they'd do much the same thing, maybe a little more clawing. If I find claw marks and teeth marks on the meat, we know it fights one way, and if I just find teeth marks, we know it fights a different way." He lifted another chunk of meat on the senbon and ran his finger down one side.

Sasuke watched neutrally.

Naruto shrugged. "Anyway, it's kind of difficult with everything spread out this way, but I should be able to figure out something of how whatever it is fights and kills."

Sasuke didn't say anything. Naruto rather thought he looked tense, which was odd. Sasuke didn't seem like the type to freeze up around a little gore. He'd have to ask Hinata about it later, she was the expert in reading people.

Hinata, for her part, was looking around with her byakugan, looking underneath the blood for anything unusual, like perhaps something painted on the inside wall before the violence. It was sort of difficult, however, since the blood had soaked into the wood quite deep in most places. Focusing on her eyes had the additional benefit of tuning out her sense of smell. Despite a dab of salve in her nose, the place reeked.

"It's like they painted the barn with cow," she murmured, turning slowly in a circle.

"While ordinarily I find cow to be very tasteful, I can't help but think this comes off as rather gaudy and gratuitous," Sasuke replied quietly.

They stared at him in complete astonishment.

He ignored them. But there was a tiny smile at the corners of his mouth.

"Niiiice, Sasuke," Naruto said, sounding tremendously impressed. "I didn't know you had it in you."

Sasuke said nothing.

Shrugging, Naruto went back to his investigations, moving slowly through the barn, picking at the largest pieces.

"I'm a little worried about this, honestly," Naruto said some time later.

Hinata looked at him in concern.

"I know I said that animals kill with their teeth," he said thoughtfully, "but I've looked at nearly three dozen pieces of cow larger than a fist, and I haven't seen a single tooth mark. Unless Sensei cares to enlighten me with knowledge of some sort of animal that kills only with its claws, I have NO idea what we're dealing with." He looked at Kakashi expectantly.

No enlightenment was forthcoming.

"There are claw marks, for sure. They match what we saw in the mud, a big curving puncture with a sharp tip and thick base, often opening up into big ragged tears. Makes sense, I guess, the bear-things must have batted the cows around like a cat with a ball of string and made some nasty wounds in the process. But, really, look at this." He held up a flat, largish piece of meat not unlike a big steak, although of an unconventional cut, since the flat, smooth side clearly showed tendon and bone near the middle.

"It's trimmed neatly," Hinata noted. "The edges aren't ragged."

"Exactly!" Naruto said with some frustration. "And that doesn't make any sense. Claws are dull. Teeth are dull. But almost every piece of cow in her has been cut with something incredibly sharp about a foot long, and I have _no idea what it is_," he hissed.

"A kunai?" Sasuke asked. "Maybe a kodachi or something similar?"

Naruto shook his head. "I'd recognize a kunai cut, they're really thick compared to regular blades. Each knife is different, too, and while a katana, kodachi, or something similar might be sharp enough to cut meat this cleanly, they'd leave different tool marks."

"Are you sure?" Sasuke asked carefully. "I know you said you studied outside the academy, but I've never heard of being able to tell knives apart by their cuts."

"We're also dealing with animals, not people," Hinata added, interrupting Sasuke. "Pakkun and the other dogs would have said if people had done this."

Naruto shrugged. "That's true, but still. I was taught how to tell tools apart by the marks they make in flesh by a master. This wasn't a knife. I don't know what it was."

"I believe," Kakashi said thoughtfully, making them all look at him in alarm, "that the reason for the shallow prints and your incredibly sharp cuts is one and the same." He smiled at them, his eye crinkling in pleasure. "If you think about it."

"One and the same?" Naruto asked, disbelief in his voice. "…okay… I'm gonna have to think about this one a minute."

Hinata frowned, also thinking hard.

It was Sasuke who voiced the answer.

"Chakra."

Kakashi smiled and nodded. "Very good, Sasuke. Naruto, you're thinking animals are all unintelligent and plodding. Did meeting Pakkun not teach you anything?"

Naruto's eyes widened. "Pakkun uses chakra when he runs, doesn't he? That's how a little dog would be able to keep up with the bigger, stronger ones."

"Actually, they all use chakra. But Pakkun is exceptionally gifted with it." Kakashi seemed inordinately proud.

"Are all animals able to use chakra? I mean, is it a training issue or a nature of the beast issue?" Naruto asked.

"Are you trying to ask if the ability to use chakra means that the animals have been trained or are being controlled?" Kakashi asked.

Naruto frowned thoughtfully. "Yes?"

Kakashi shook his head. "Not necessarily. Look at the tailed beasts, for instance, like the kyubi no kitsune. It could use chakra very, very well, and I'm sure it never had training from any human."

"Ah. Well." Naruto looked around. "Tailed beasts, huh?"

"It is unlikely this small scale carnage was caused by a tailed beast," he added. "They are powerful on such a scale that this would be an insult. However, we are clearly dealing with something quite a bit more dangerous than just a rogue cat or wolf."

"Yeah," they all agreed.

"Are you finished, Naruto?" Hinata asked. "I couldn't find anything unusual under all the blood."

Naruto shrugged and nodded. "Yeah, we learned what we came here to learn. It fights with its claws and chakra. Don't get caught by either of them. I wouldn't recommend letting it bite you, either, if it can." He stretched and scratched himself. "I guess I should check on me and see how supper is going." He looked around. "Anyone want steak with their meal?"

"No."

"No." Sasuke looked a little green.

"No." Hinata blushed a little at her weakness.

"Eh… okay. Just checking." He gave them a little grin.

"I do have a question," Sasuke said quietly, looking at him.

Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Where did you learn about tool marks in flesh?"

"I…" Naruto opened his mouth, then closed it again and smiled. It was not a nice smile. "You know, that's a funny story. It's directly related to why all this," he gestured around them, "is making me hungry. I tell you what. After we eat, if you still want to know, I'll tell you."

Sasuke nodded.

"Come on, Hinata, I could use a hand with the food, you always were better with the rice than I am. We'll have a nice supper on… the roof of the house." He smiled. "Meet you there."

o/

"We alone?" Naruto asked, slicing pickled vegetables into thin strips.

Hinata peered around suspiciously at the kitchen, in actuality looking through the walls with her bloodline and scanning for eavesdroppers.

"Yes, we're alone," she confirmed, resuming her task of adding salt and vinegar to the rice.

Naruto washed his knife and lay it aside. "Weird. That was probably the least subtle way of getting the two of us alone to talk I've used since we've been on this team. _I'd_ have been curious."

Hinata grinned at him, looking positively mischievous.

He chuckled. "Yeah, this whole team business did turn out a lot weirder than I imagined. I knew my plans had gone to hell when we got Sasuke, but I'm kinda starting to be glad of that. I'm not nearly as pissed at him now as I was earlier."

Hinata shrugged. "He finally started listening to you, which is good. I still want to hit him in the face a few more times."

"Trust me, you've done that enough for today," he replied wryly, stirring sauce in a pan, which he then tasted by dipping in a finger and touching it to his tongue. "What did you notice when he froze up?"

She frowned thoughtfully, folding rice without looking. "I'm not sure, really. The smell didn't bother him, but he did react to the sight of blood. It doesn't fit what we know of him." She smiled suddenly. "And if it doesn't fit what we know of him and he does it anyway, we clearly don't know him well enough, right?"

Naruto nodded, tapping the end of her nose playfully, jerking his finger back when she nipped. "That's my vixen."

Hinata practically glowed with pleasure.

"Did you notice anything specific about the way he reacted?"

She nodded. "He remained tense and ready, but his heartrate slowed when he first saw inside the barn before it sped up. Blood is related to conflict for him, which isn't uncommon, but his first thought wasn't anticipation of battle, it was fear. When he first saw the blood, he looked to the top left. Then, he moved his eyes to the bottom right. He remembered a past traumatic event, one which caused tremendous fear and pain. He was most likely remembering the death of his family at the hands of his brother, or possibly some other even more upsetting event, which must have been horrible indeed if it was worse than the Uchiha massacre. However, he quickly blinked slowly and breathed, a meditation technique, and was able to regain full control over himself, with only a slight widening of his eyes to indicate shame at his loss of composure."

Naruto added fish to the sauce, stirring it rapidly over the gas flame of the house stove as he listened to her report intently.

She finished spreading the rice. "It seems unlikely he would have seen comparable amounts of blood since the massacre, so he probably thought himself in complete control of his memories and emotions reguarding the event. To be so suddenly reminded that there are things in the mind you cannot fully control was most likely an unsettling revelation."

"It is," Naruto agreed without rancor.

"I would have expected him to shut his emotions in after that, but given the joke he made to defuse his stress, I would guess he's more likely to talk now than at any other time." She sighed theatrically, tapping her wooden spoon in her hand. "And given the way your eyes have shifted up and your heart has remained absolutely steady for the last few moments, I have only been confirming what you already thought." She paused, going crosseyed. "And you put pepper sauce on my nose."

Naruto grinned at her. "No I didn't."

"Yes, you did. I can see it."

"No you can't. No one can see the end of their own nose without a mirror."

"Well I can," she declared, giving him an exasperated look.

Abruptly Naruto dropped his spoon and seized her in his arms, planting a rather wet kiss on the end of her nose that sucked off the tiny dab of sauce and quickly dropped lower as his lips met hers and she melted against him. He held her like that for several long moments, then released her and quickly saved his fish from burning.

"Happy now?" he asked rhetorically, not bothering to keep the smile off his face.

"…yeah," she replied dreamily.

"I honestly don't know what I'd do without you, Hinata-chan," he added. "I'm sorry I snapped at you earlier today. I rely on you so much I sometimes take you for granted, which I found out when I chased you away, then passed out. I really needed you then," he said bitterly, carefully not glancing at her out of the corner of his eye as he removed the pan from the heat.

She paled, her heart skipping a beat as she remembered how she'd failed him, how she'd ran and not been there to protect him. "No, no, you don't have to apologise. I was… I was speaking improperly. I should have… I should have been what you needed, Naruto-sama. It won't happen again, I swear," she said, the last coming out as a whisper.

"You are what I need," he countered. "You read me better than anyone. You know my moods. When to be unnoticed. When to be deadly. When to play. You are my left hand, Hinata. You are the one closest to my heart."

She smiled at him, and there were tears in the corners of her eyes.

He smiled at her like a fox with a cornered rabbit. "Together, we will make things be what we want. Never forget that, Hinata."

She swallowed and nodded, a distant, hard look coming into her eyes. Unnoticed by her, the tough bamboo spoon snapped like a dry twig in her hand.

His smile became a grin. "And some things will be quite a bit easier if we have the amazing Uchiha as an ally. Listen, I think we should try something new tonight. Something which, ordinarily I would never suggest we do with someone we don't fully trust."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You said Sasuke is more likely to talk now than we've yet seen. Let's bait him with some truth, and see if he gets hooked." His eyes gleamed.

"Truth, Naruto?"

"Yes. I think you and Sasuke need to have a little chat. And tonight, well, you'll need to be reluctant, but here's what I want you to do."


	8. Clients Lie: five

"You have many talents, Naruto," Sasuke said quietly as the trio, now comfortably full, settled themselves into comfortable positions on the shallow slope of the barn roof peak. He left his backpack mostly packed, but he had gotten out a sleeping bag, and now lay on top of it, using it as padding to make the rough wooden shingles of the barn more comfortable. His pack lay underneath his feet, propping his legs up.

"Still want to hear how I got them, huh?" Naruto asked, laying out his own sleeping bag to Sasuke's left, also with his pack at his feet. However, Naruto chose to once again remove his jacket, and also his t shirt, then wad them up and sit cross-legged on them, close to the very peak of the roof. He kept his usual pants on, but, in deference to the heat, only wore a single layer of black mesh armor for a shirt. "Why don't you ask Hinata how she learned to cook that good. Remember, she made the rice."

Sasuke hesitated, turning his head slightly to look at them.

Hinata was on Naruto's left side, also laying on her sleeping bag, but unlike Naruto, she had turned so that her head was lower than her feet, and had partially flattened her pack so that it made a pillow instead of a footrest. She had also removed her jacket once again and used it to smooth out the lumps in her pack. She kept a black shirt on over her mesh, making Sasuke idly wonder if she was still wearing the chest wrap beneath. She said nothing.

"You assumed either her mother taught her, or it was kunoichi training, or, at any rate, just something girls know, right?" Naruto said with a hint of mockery in his voice.

"…Hn," Sasuke agreed reluctantly. It was true. He'd never really thought much about such things, it was just one of those things girls did. "It was very good rice," he added a few moments later.

"Yeah, it was," Naruto agreed, then lapsed into silence.

The silence lengthened and deepened, turning awkward fast. Sasuke lay there for several minutes, wondering if he was supposed to say something, and if he was, whether or not the awkward tension was worse than the effort of bothering.

Finally, "So where did you learn to cook like that, Hinata-san?" Sasuke hazarded.

"Kunoichi training."

His cheeks were not burning. They were not. It was just hot, despite the blanket of night that had settled over the farm.

"That's not very nice, Hinata," Naruto said reproachfully, warning clear in his tone.

"I-" she said, quite a bit louder, then closed her mouth with a click of teeth. After a moment, she said, "I taught myself from a recipe my mother left."

Sasuke actually raised up into a sitting position, looking across Naruto's bed at the inverted girl.

"Surprised, Sasuke?" Hinata asked bitterly, not turning her head. "Yes, I had a mother once, too. Or did you not even know I don't have one now?"

Sasuke sat there for several moments while Naruto took over.

"Hinata, the idea is we're supposed to relax while we're waiting for the murderous chakra bears to come mutilate cattle. Not rehash the fights we had today." He rubbed her leg with one hand in what was supposed to be a comforting manner.

Hinata sighed. "Sorry, Naruto. But his indifference has been pissing me off since we were teamed with him."

Sasuke frankly stared at her, astonished beyond measure. "Who are you and what have you done with Hinata?" he demanded finally, a kunai springing into his hand.

"Who am I?" Hinata repeated, also rising partially to glare at the dark haired boy. "Who am I?! Just who the hell are you, you-"

"Hinata!" Naruto snapped, his voice ringing with command.

Hinata's jaw snapped shut again.

"Sasuke!" Naruto said again, as he was rising to his feet. "Sit down, please," he added, toning it like a request.

Sasuke glared at him, resentful of the command, for such it was, however polite, and positively taught with tension over the verbal assault Hinata had hurled at him.

"Please, Sasuke," Naruto repeated, and this time there was actual pleading to it. "This is sort of my fault. Let me fix it."

"Your fault?" he asked, disbelief clear in his tone.

Naruto shrugged. "Sort of. Hinata has been getting irritated at you for a while, but I've convinced her to let it slide. I kind of assumed you'd be less of an asshole once you got to know us. However," he continued quickly, seeing the darkening expression on Sasuke's face, "you haven't gotten to know us, and maybe that's my fault as well. I don't really like talking about the past." He shrugged again and gave Sasuke a wry smile. "You'd know something about that, I'd guess."

Hinata lay back on her pack with an air of resignation. "Sorry, Sasuke. But the rest of us have our demons to track down and kill just like you do."

Sasuke was nonplussed. Hinata, who, thus far had been little more than Naruto's personal, if rather pretty, shadow, claimed to have a demon of her own. While it could hardly compare to his brother, she seemed to feel it was pretty important. "What is it?" he asked, his anger ebbing as his curiosity rose.

"You don't get to know that," Hinata replied, though not as angrily as she did at first.

"Whoa, Hinata. Actually, I think I'm the one supposed to be telling a story, right?"

Sasuke nodded reluctantly, reminded of something that had been tickling his mind since Naruto had first walked into the barn. His weary muscles also reminded him that is had been an eventful day, so he sat back down on the roof. But it wasn't very comfortable to crane his neck and look at Naruto from the side. So he turned around and sat, using his pack for a back rest. The roof wasn't too sharply slanted, and the shingles were rough, so his pack actually felt pretty stable. He leaned against it, ignoring his minor aches.

Naruto was looking up at the sky.

Sasuke watched him stare at the sky for a moment, then looked up as well.

The night was clear, warm, and still. Only the very faintest of breezes stirred the air around them. The stars shone brightly in the sky, easily seen in the near total blackness. The moon would rise sometime after midnight, but for now it was nearly pitch black. Only, despite the presumably bloodthirsty monsters which might or might not be lurking in the impenetrable swamp, it was almost sort of a comforting night.

"Gorgeous, isn't it?" Naruto said quietly, still staring at the sky.

"Yeah. You don't get nights like this in Konoha. There's always lights around you," Hinata agreed quietly.

"And every time we've been away, we've spent our nights in the forest. I don't think I've ever seen a night quite like this." Naruto scratched his head idly and looked around. "I was going to tell you how I learned about cuts in flesh, right?"

"And why, opposite of normal sensibilities, you seem to find copious amounts of blood appetizing," Sasuke reminded, having silently wondered any number of things about his blond teammate.

"Yeah. Same story," Naruto agreed. "It has a lot to do with someone I don't think you've met. He's a high ranking ANBU member, a division head, actually. I met him six years ago. His name is Morino Ibiki."

Sasuke didn't react, having never heard the name.

"Yeah, didn't think so," Naruto continued after a minute. "Well, you should hope that if you ever meet Ibiki-san, it's under purely social circumstances, though I'm told he usually unnerves people even then. Ibiki-san is the head of Torture and Interrogation. And even though, honestly, I sometimes wonder why it was allowed to happen, I was introduced to him one day."

Torture and Interrogation? That was… that was not what Sasuke was expecting to hear.

"You have to understand, Ibiki-san isn't like normal people," Naruto explained. "He's, I guess for lack of a better term, practical. And effective. Very, very effective. When he wants to know something, it's best to just go ahead and tell him. He's going to find out anyway, and, if you really cooperate with him, maybe he won't hurt you." Naruto chuckled abruptly. "There was this one time two years ago, when I had… Ah, but that's not relevant. Anyway." He paused and chuckled again before turning more serious. "Anyway. Ibiki is a master of psychological torture. He can break your mind before he even touches your body. That being said, he's also a master of inflicting physical pain. He's the expert, and sometimes they call him in when someone else is tortured."

Naruto's voice grew quieter, as if coming from a long way away.

"Since he's used them all before, he can tell by the marks left on your body exactly what was done to you."

They sat there in silence for a while, Sasuke looking at Naruto, who didn't move. Gently, Hinata put her hand on Naruto's leg and squeezed. Startled, he jerked in alarm, brought out of his memories by the touch. He took her hand in his and continued.

"So, long story short, he taught me how to recognize the marks made, not just by torture implements, but by everything which could conceivably be used to hurt someone. It was really quite interesting."

Sasuke inclined his head in acknowledgement, of what, exactly, he wasn't sure, but feeling the need to respect it anyway.

Naruto stretched, cracking gristle in his back and neck as he did so. "Other than old man Hokage, Ibiki-san was the first person to take an interest in my education. Taught me a few things they neglect to cover in the academy lectures," he added with a smirk. "I never had any family, I'm an orphan from birth, or so they tell me, but it didn't handicap me. Ibiki-san made sure I didn't slack off, and let me tell you," he said seriously, as if imparting wisdom of the deepest import, "when a torture and interrogation master asks you if you did your homework, you'd better have your homework done." He stared intently, and Sasuke could feel his eyes boring into him even in the darkness.

Then Naruto chuckled again.

"So, heir to the great Uchiha, what's the story with your family?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke stiffened. "That's none of your damned-"

"Grow up, Sasuke," Hinata spat, interrupting him. "You ask _me_ about _my_ family, but you won't even answer a simple question about yours? How sad for you, the tragic genius." Her voice lashed with anger.

"And just what would you know about being me?" he snarled back, voice dripping with contempt. "Your clan still exists-"

"That's right, Uchiha," she snapped right back, rising to glare right back at him. "What would I, the eldest child of Hiashi Hyuga, possibly know about being born heir to a powerful bloodline and the most powerful clan in Konoha?"

"Your family wasn't slaughtered before your eyes," he growled back, eyes burning with rage.

"So your family was killed and you live," Hinata shot back. "Have you ever imagined what it would be like if they lived but you didn't?" She jabbed her finger in the air at the Uchiha. "Your family is dead to you, and yet you breathe. And I am dead to my family, and yet I still breathe. Which of us, then, has it worse?"

"Sasuke… What _happened?_" Naruto asked, his voice dropping into a hiss with his raw need to know.

Sasuke looked back at him in contempt. "Why, so you can use the knowledge to make me dance to your tune, like your fangirl over there?" He snorted in derision. "_I don't think so._"

"I think you're so wrapped up in being the tragic boy who lived, alone, friendless, untouchable to the people around you, you can't even recognize Naruto's offer for what it is," Hinata countered, rolling to her knees and moving onto Naruto's bed, aggressively closing the distance. "Just what do you think I am, you misogynistic cock?" She edged closer, and Sasuke rolled away, wary of the damage her juken techniques could do at short range. "A fangirl? You think I'm like one of those empty headed bimbos that follow you around like cats in heat?"

She drew herself up, looking both noble and terrible at the same time, her liquid white eyes shining luminously in the starlight.

"I… am… _Hyuga_."

Sasuke crouched defensively.

"I follow Naruto because he teaches me things no one else ever bothered! I follow Naruto because I learn how to do things only he knows how to do! Subterfuge! Misdirection! Deceit! I follow Naruto because he, and only he, has ever shown me how to get the things I really desire! Things I dreamed of! Things I despaired of, because I knew I would never be able to reach out and grab them! Power! Respect!"

She leaned closer, placing one hand on the roof for balance.

"Revenge!" she hissed.

She drew back, once more sitting on her heels.

"Your sharingan are said to be able to copy and predict an opponent's moves perfectly. My byakugan can pierce objects, read chakra, and understand the finest nuances of movement. But Naruto sees things we could never hope to, because we can't understand what he understands. Naruto showed me how to conceal things so well even the all seeing eyes of my father are blind to them. What he can't see-"

"-he can't defend against. The advantage is mine," Hinata said from directly behind Sasuke, her hand suddenly on the back of his neck.

"What…?" he hissed, startled, slipping away from her hand in an instant. "Another one of Naruto's shadow clones," he declared, shooting a glare at the blond, who was watching expressionlessly.

"Am I?" the new Hinata asked.

"Or is she one of mine?" the first Hinata asked. "Does it matter? Because, either way, the effort put towards my triumph is the same. And I put the same effort back for Naruto. Together, we are stronger than either of us could hope to be apart. Allies, working together, sharing effort, sharing goals." She leaned forward again. "So-"

"-dear Uchiha," the new Hinata said, her voice saccharin sweet and making Sasuke jerk his head back and forth, trying to keep them both in sight,

"I would appreciate it if you did not dismiss me for what you think I am not. I get enough of that from my family, and I only tolerate that for now, because I must."

Her eyes glittered.

"And soon, even that will end."

"Are you so very different then, Sasuke?" Naruto asked mildly. "You said when we first met that the only true goal you had was to kill one man. Who is that man, Sasuke? And why do you want to kill him?"

"He is my brother, Itachi," Sasuke whispered, his gaze far away, lost in the night and the years of his past. "I will kill him because he killed our clan. I will kill him because he killed our parents." Abruptly his head swivled, focusing his gaze on Naruto. "You speak as if you know what it's like to be tortured."

"I do," Naruto allowed.

"As do I," Hinata replied warily.

"You speak as if this Morino Ibiki you think so highly of is capable of inflicting more pain on a single person than anyone else alive," Sasuke continued, his eyes losing focus again. "I've never met him. But I do know this." His eyes bored into them.

"_He is an amateur compared to Itachi._"

"Slapped you around a little, eh?" Naruto asked. "Maybe held you down, cut you up with a knife for a while, just for fun. Maybe he got a little playful, a little slap and tickle. Maybe he looped wire around your neck and pulled real slow, so you had time to focus on every hurt he was giving you as the wire bit into your throat and made it harder to breath one agonizing breath after another."

"There are some tools that leave no marks," Sasuke replied with the infinite patience of one who knows better. "Imagine the worst thing that ever happened to you. Then add the worst things that could ever happen to you." His voice lowered. "Now… add the things that couldn't possibly happen to you because they're just not possible. If you hurt someone too much, they die. But what if you had the ability to send them to hell after they die. And then, bring them back to life. They'd be grateful, right? But then you hurt them until they died again, and then you sent them to hell, again. Over and over and over. Death is not a release. Being alive is an endless horror." Sasuke's eyes were staring, dull, lifeless, and empty, the repressed nightmares of another realm replaying itself in his mind.

"I might understand better than you think," Naruto replied. "After all, I heal faster than anyone. I know a little something about finally feeling my body let go, then waking up to see it's still happening." He paused. "How did you survive? You don't heal like I do."

"Itachi has gained the most powerful ability of the Uchiha, the Mangekyo sharigan. He is more powerful than anyone else when he uses it, and if he wants, just by looking at you he can transfer you to a world he has made and controls absolutely. There is no running. You cannot fight. He can do anything he wants to you for as long as he wants." Sasuke's hand clenched into a fist. "Power like you wouldn't believe! Killing intent that suffocates you just by being near! Pain that can kill you without leaving a mark!"

"Oh, it always leaves a mark," Naruto said, shaking his head. "And it left plenty to see on you, even if you don't have eyes like Hinata." He rose, put his arm around Hinata, and squeezed her close. Uncharacteristically, she didn't melt into him, chosing instead to remain stiff and aloof, just, now, she was under his arm.

Sasuke just stared back at him. "The marks are irrevelant. I must kill him. He let me go from that world and told me to become strong."

"Strong, huh?" Naruto replied. "We all want strength. Hinata, how do you become strong?"

"By having people to fight along side you," she replied promptly.

"Why is that?" Naruto prompted.

"Because no one is the best at everything. You pick your allies carefully, choosing strengths that augment your own, weaknesses you can make up for, skills you can rely on, and potential you can help unlock. No one gains anything new from training on their own, they can only refine what they already know."

Sasuke snarled. "Is that what you want from me? An ally? Someone to help you with the things you can't do?"

"Why yes, actually. That's sort of what friends do. They help each other. For instance, Hinata needs assistance to become skilled enough to shock and awe her family. I've been helping her. And, if it weren't for Hinata killing Mizuki-sensei, I'd be dead right now."

Sasuke paused. He'd never heard what had actually happened to Mizuki. "Hinata killed him?" he asked, just to make sure.

Naruto grinned hugely, pride shining in his eyes. "Burst his heart. She's still not the greatest sparring partner in the world, but when it came down to life or death, Hinata didn't flinch."

"I was weak once," Hinata said quietly. "I was shy, and hesitant. My father thought I was stupid. I showed no special talent for my family arts. I improved. I am worthy to be the heir to my clan now. But perception is everything, isn't it, Sasuke? They saw me as weak then, they see me as weak now. So I can't simply be adequate. I have to gain enough skill and power to completely destroy how they see me. Unlike your foolish brother, I have no intention of killing any of them unless I absolutely have to. I'll just force them to obey me."

"I am not weak," Sasuke replied disdainfully.

"Ah, but how strong are you?" Naruto replied, quirking one eyebrow. "Hinata could have killed you today. I could have killed you today. And yes, you had opportunities to kill each one of us. Seperately, we're all close enough in ability that it could go either way, however likely it is that any given one of us might win. But I ask you this, Sasuke, prodigy of the Uchihas. Could you, right now, take both Hinata and I together?"

"Yes," he replied stubbornly.

Naruto snorted. "Hinata would have a better chance of taking you down in a fair fight than you'd have taking us down in a fair fight. And, Sasuke, if you haven't figured it out already, we don't fight fair."

Sasuke frowned.

"Now, I ask you, did you learn nothing from the bell test?"

He closed his eyes, remembering Naruto's whispered, perfectly confident words.

"'Three genin can take a jounin,'" he repeated.

"Three chunin can take a kage," Hinata added.

"And three jounin can take a village," Naruto said with an air of finality. "And let me assure you, I have no intention of stopping at jounin level. Do you?"

Sasuke shook his head and looked away. "It sounds good, but I think it's nothing more than a platitude."

Naruto snorted. "History shows us otherwise. Second Mizukage. Poisoned by his son and his son's teammates. They successfully held off his dying attacks, then assumed power over his cooling corpse."

"The Sannin of Konoha. They're credited with changing the course of two wars with their actions."

Naruto quirked a smile. "If Itachi is so powerful, why did he flee the village after he slaughtered your clan? He took out a district of unsuspecting off duty ninja, old men, women, and children. Then he ran. Imagine, Sasuke, if you, after gaining the skill and power you feel you need to be able to confront him, tracked him down in some hideout somewhere. You confront him. He scoffs at your power. Then you, and a dozen of Konoha's best, counter his every move, his every plan, and crush him attack by attack. When you finally put the blade in his throat, it's a mercy, not a coup de grace, and you get to look into his eyes as he realizes it."

Sasuke shook his head again, not trusting himself to speak.

"Think about it, Sasuke. Your brother isn't right all the time. You're not right all the time. You never know when you might need someone else. Wouldn't it be best to have people with you, ready to catch you if you stumble?"

"You're not right all the time, either, Naruto," Sasuke whispered.

Naruto's grin grew wider. "Obviously. But I know I'm not right all the time. That's why I'm looking for people to help guide me. I can't do it alone, any more than you can. I was a fool until I stumbled across Hinata. I don't have to be a genius to see that I'd be better off for your assistance as well."

Sasuke remained quiet. Naruto let him have his peace for the moment, rustling around as he settled into a comfortable position on his makeshift bed. Hinata cuddled close to him.

"Good night, Sasuke," Hinata whispered, not raising her head from Naruto's side. "Just remember, you don't have to be alone."

That was the last thing he heard as he drifted off to sleep.

o/


	9. Interlude: Twenty Lies

20 Lies

20 truths, People Lie style.

1. Naruto never stole. He'd never stolen anything before Mizuki gave him the assignment to pilfer the scroll of kinjutsu from the Hokage's tower. Ibiki said it was wrong to steal from your own people, it ran counter to proven principles that made for a healthy village. It wasn't like he needed to steal, after all. As an orphan and person of interest to the Sandaime Hokage, he was provided a monthly stipend to cover his living expenses. As an apprentice and person of interest to the ANBU division head Morino Ibiki, he was taught how to properly manage his money and get the things he needed. He wasn't wealthy by any means, but he never lacked for what he truly needed. All that being said, when he'd stolen the forbidden scroll, it had been a thrill far beyond the purely intellectual. Naruto found he liked stealing. He knew he'd have to watch that impulse lest it, like all vices, prove a weakness and lead to his downfall.

Naruto to Ibiki.

2. Ibiki hated his job. Most people who knew him thought he was a sadist, given that he was the one to perform tortures on people deliberately trained and conditioned to withstand pain and deprivation, but that wasn't true. Ibiki hated pain, hated death, hated the sight of blood. He'd been tortured several times in the past, twice by amateurs who thought that a red hot kunai pressed into flesh was scary, and once by a professional who truly did enjoy his work. Ibiki knew exactly what the people turned into his care were going through and the thought sickened him. But despite his loathing of pain, Ibiki was a pragmatist above all. Konoha was the strongest and the most compassionate of all the ninja villages. Just by existing, Konoha reduced the amount of pain in the world. Konoha had to be protected, and sometimes, someone had to be tortured to protect it. He might not like it, but it needed to be done, and he was the best in Konoha to do it.

Ibiki to Naruto.

3. Sasuke still loved his brother. Despite the mind rape in Itachi's genjutsu, despite the death of his clan, his father, and especially his mother, despite the pity the village heaped on him, despite the utter destruction of everything he'd ever held dear, Sasuke still missed his brother, the only family he had left. Itachi told him to become strong, he'd admitted that to the ANBU who'd questioned him after the slaughter. What he'd never admitted was why Itachi wanted him to become strong. When Sasuke had finally turned himself into the perfect killing machine and surpassed his brother in the ninja arts, he would finally have Itachi's respect and be invited to take his place at his side.

Sasuke to Itachi, as imagined in a revenge fantasy.

4. Hinata had a deep seated rage lurking in her heart, a need to hurt those around her. They say it's always the quiet ones, and never had that been more true than in the case of Hinata Hyuga. Abandoned after the death of her mother, effectively disowned by her father, dispassionately ignored by her sister, mocked and denigrated by her cousin, and regarded with a mix of disgust, fear, and hate by the rest of the branch family, Hinata was a person alone in a crowd. Even outside of her family, she remained shy and hesitant around people, but most people misunderstood the reason why. It wasn't because she was afraid of them, no, not at all. She was afraid of herself, and what she knew she was capable of.

Hinata to Naruto.

5. Kakashi read porn because it was a tiny slice of a life he could never have for himself. A life where people were shallow, concerned largely with their own pleasure, where men met women and women met women and sometimes where men met several women and fell in love and had a few minor squabbles but nothing that couldn't be fixed with a good solid chapter of kinky sex and everyone smelled good and no one had been raped or stabbed in the chest with a kunai or watched a comrade get crushed by an avalanche of chakra infused rock right before their eyes- or in short, a world where nothing really mattered, people just thought it did, and a smart, strong, skilled person would be free to just be himself for once in his life. Kakashi sometimes had to stop reading because his one visible eye would be clouded in tears and his fingers would be slowly tightening on the pages and his heart ached, because he was a smart, strong, skilled person in a world where things really did matter yet it seemed like almost everyone around him was an idiot and thought nothing did. Like so many other people, Kakashi wanted something he could never have.

Kakashi to a scadalized, but cute, village girl.

6. Iruka wore the scar across his nose as a reminder of his shame. It wasn't just so everyone else could see it, no one still alive even knew what it represented, but Iruka knew. He could just see the break in the smooth profile of his nose if he crossed his eyes and stared at it. In a village known to have produced some of the greatest medic nins of the last three hundred years, techniques for removing scars, especially extremely visible, iconic identifier scars, were quite advanced. Even an extremely minor illusion, easy to create and maintain, could have given him back his original face. But Iruka didn't want to get rid of the scar, for it was a constant reminder that he must never run away again, like he'd done once against a Mist ninja who'd nearly blinded him and was preparing to run his teammate through. He'd failed Shiziro, and if their jonin leader hadn't shown up just then, his cowardice would have cost him a friend and companion. He'd never ran away from a fight to save a comrade since, and he never would.

Iruka to himself.

7. Sakura had no limits to what she would do to prove herself to Sasuke. An average kunoichi throughout school, her sharp intellect was dragged down not by her lackluster body, but by a weak spirit. In another world, with a little more encouragement, Sakura might have discovered a warrior's soul, a rebel, a fearless, feisty, ferocious persona within herself. Sometimes, she felt like something was missing, and she knew herself to be an incomplete person. Desperately, she latched onto the one thing that seemed like it might complete her, the single most perfect man she'd ever seen. He was larger than life, he would fill her up. And so she would do anything she had to do to get him. Lie. Cheat. Steal. If she believed he would love her if she brought him the still beating hearts of her parents, there would be two fewer Haruno in Konoha that night.

Sakura to herself.

8. Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji were tremendous disappointments to their parents. True, Ino had a truly deft touch with her family's mind jutsu and a recently discovered love of beating the shit out of people with good old fashioned taijutsu that brought a tear to her father's eye. Shikamaru was a quiet prodigy at games of strategy and puzzles, better than his father at that age. Chouji could smell the faintest trace of arsenic in a single dumpling in an entire banquet, and had the immense physical strength that far outstripped even his most advanced classmates. No, the disappointment their parents felt in them had nothing to do with their skills, and everything to do with how they got along. There was no soul melding friendship there, just the cool all business politeness of three people willing to work with each other because they were told to.

Ino to Sakura.

9. Tenten resented the rivalry between Neji and Rock Lee. Neji was cool, strong, aloof, nearly perfect in bearing and ability. Lee was coarse, unrefined, friendly, and had the will of a force of nature. Their clashes were epic and mighty. Tenten was confident, skilled, and feisty, and she was also a woman. So she hated being caught between them, unable to encourage Lee without a disdainful sniff from Neji, feeling guilty about complimenting Neji on a job well done since everything he did was well done. She was swept up in the maelstrom as they pushed themselves to greater and greater heights of skill and daring. Tenten didn't dare let them too close to each other, but when they glared at each other with hate and envy and worry, she felt like her skin would be scorched from each side. They strove against each other over every little thing, including her. She was not a piece of meat to be fought over, a prize to be won or stolen. No girl, especially not Tenten, would want such a thing.

Tenten to the boys.

10. Shino feared the loss of his individuality. As a living hive, he wasn't one, but many. As a member of a clan, he wasn't just one, but one of many. His clan was one of many in Konoha. Konoha was just one city in the Fire Country. There were more countries, more islands, more continents, and, above all, more people than any one person should be aware of. But Shino was Aburame. They knew all about numbers. He knew how many bugs he had, down to the last injured five legged insect living under the skin of his neck. He knew how many parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins there were in his clan. He knew how many people there were in Konoha. He had a pretty good idea of how many people there were in his country. He even had a pretty good ballpark figure for the number of people in the world. To the average person, this was just a number. But to Shino, it meant something real. He was just one of many. A great many. Shino kept it all in perspective, that was what he was good at. But sometimes, the one thing a human, and Shino, for all the bugs living in and on him, was human, can't afford to have is a sense of perspective.

Shino to Kiba.

11. There was only one person on Team Gai who didn't wear thong underwear. Gai wore thongs. Panty lines under skin tight spandex? That is so not keeping in with the spirit of youth. Lee wore thongs. He dressed exactly like Gai, and agreed with him. A smoothly profiled ass was indeed best to show off your youthful fire. Neji wore thongs, really, traditional twisted undyed cloth underwear. He was Hyuga. They were big on tradition. Tenten wore thongs. She was a beautiful young woman surrounded by cute males saturated in testosterone. She liked feeling sexy, and there's nothing like a strip of silk right in the crack of your ass to make you feel attractive. Every single person on Team Gai claimed to wear thong underwear. One of them was lying and too ashamed to admit it.

Gai to Kakashi.

12. Hinata was the first one to kill another person on Team Seven. Naruto, for all his dismissal of his emotions, hadn't actually killed the man he'd helped torture to death in the sterile halls under a nondescript building in the center ring of Konoha. Ibiki had offered the man's life to him. Handed him the scalpel. Closed his fingers around the handle. But the childlike wonder had left Naruto's eyes when he finally realized that this was it, he was going to kill someone. And he couldn't do it. He was still a child, despite what had happened to him. He didn't yet have it in him to take a man's life in cold blood. It was a lingering source of shame, a secret known only to him and Ibiki. He would be more ruthless, colder, and far, far more cruel to his enemies than he ever would have been had it been his hands that opened the man's neck and caused his life to drain away.

Naruto to Sasuke.

13. Kiba fell in love with Sakura the first time she spoke up and told both he and Shino that they were wrong. His sense of smell was comparable to most dogs, and he'd always thought she smelled pretty. Like jasmine and wildflowers, of soft sheets and a nearly spotless environment. His mother was many admirable things, but a fastidious housekeeper she was not. Sakura smelled like a fresh, healthy female, plenty to get his interest up, and she was easy on the eyes, too. But it wasn't until she spoke, really, honestly said what was on her mind, that he realized she was more than a pretty face. There was someone home in there, and Kiba rather thought he loved her.

Kiba to Sakura.

14. Naruto loved taking care of his bonsai trees. He started with one, given to him by Ibiki. He'd added another when he'd taken Hinata under his wing. The third he'd added when they'd been teamed up with Sasuke. If asked, he'd say he liked them because they were little physical representations of perfection as seen through his eyes. Sophisticated, thoughtful, powerful men kept bonsai trees. Naruto liked the thought of being ranked as such. Really, though, Naruto just liked occasionally snipping pieces off of a living being.

Naruto to Kakashi.

15. Kakashi didn't much like Maito Gai. In fact, if it wasn't for the concealment of his mask, everyone around him would see the flexing of his jaw muscles as he ground his teeth whenever Gai showed up wearing bright green spandex and a moronic smile. Gai accused him of acting hip and cool, since Kakashi obviously pretended indifference whenever he was around. Gai was sharp enough to spot the act, but too self centered to determine the reason why. Kakashi will never admit it, he owes the freakishly strong taijutsu master for too many last minute saves to ever break the poor guy's heart, but really, he'd be a lot happier if Gai would just leave him alone.

Kakashi to a mocking Anko after he lost a copy of Icha Icha in a bet with Gai.

16. The Sandaime Hokage had a pretty strong suspicion that Naruto was going to be Hokage one day. He had the intelligence, the drive, the wit, and the power. Yes, there was the whole issue about the Kyubi and the villager's hatred, but the boy was a bright, cheerful spot of orange in a sea of drab green and grey. When it came to honest talent, the boy shone with a brilliance not seen since his father had sacrificed himself. The Hokage knew that that kind of talent and drive is what it takes to be the supreme leader of a ninja village.

Sarutobi to Naruto, a month after he became Ibiki's unofficial apprentice.

17. Anko and Kurenai slept together once. Or, more specifically, Anko, Kurenai, and Asuma had slept together once. It was a lengthy class A mission, requiring Kurenai's genjutsu talents, Asuma's skill at close quarters, and Anko's specialty, a ruthless, brutal killing spree. It had also involved a three day stay at a seedy inn in southern Fire, waiting on a contact to drop off vital information. Sake was involved. Kurenai woke up with a funny taste in her mouth and an unexpected hand cupping her breast. Anko woke up with a snakebite on her hand and a serious need of a shower. Asuma didn't wake up until the next day.

Anko to Asuma.

18. Shikamaru was never allowed to sign the family summoning contract for the deer of the forest. It wasn't really his fault, but regardless, the ancient, powerful stag that was his mother's most powerful summon had made it clear in no uncertain terms that the lanky boy would never be allowed to call on the herds of Konoha for aid if he needed it. The best he and his parents were able to achieve by the way of appeasement was that his children, assuming he had any, would be allowed to prove themselves, and, if found worthy, would be allowed to resume the chain of partnership created by the founder of the Nara clan. The reason the deer would never forgive Shikamaru? Chouji had killed and eaten one of them when he was eight years old. Ordinarily, the actions of others don't directly affect the status of one of the Nara clan, but then, Shikamaru had been a party to it. He'd sneaked into his mother's kitchen and stolen a box of pepper and a bottle of soy sauce to season the unfortunate doe.

Ino to Sakura.

19. Asuma was Konohamaru's father. That would have surprised Konohamaru, his friends, his teachers, and indeed everyone in Konoha except Asuma, his aunt who he thought was his mother, his adopted father, and his grandfather. Asuma was a young man once, and, as young men often do, made an indiscretion with a young village girl impressed by the handsome young shinobi. Asuma was seventeen. The girl was sixteen. Asuma wasn't ready for fatherhood. The girl wasn't ready for motherhood. She died giving birth. Asuma, quite horrified by the whole affair, gladly gave responsibility for the boy over to his older sister, who raised him as her own. Asuma never really connected with the boy. His father lost a great deal of respect for him. But, as things sometimes do, it turned out for the best. Asuma's sister and husband were far better parents for Konohamaru than Asuma would have been. One day, Asuma thinks he might sit down and have a chat with the boy. But then, perhaps not.

Asuma to Anko.

20. Naruto had a plan for everything. It wasn't always a perfect plan, sometimes there were holes. Great big glaring holes. But he thought constantly, always seeking to learn more about the world around him, to make better plans, to mitigate contingencies. Good plan, bad plan, somewhere in between plan, he always had one. He never ever acted without thinking things through, because that just wasn't who he was. He was the spider in the shadows, the puppet master, the guerilla leader, the one who would rule. And it was in convincing everyone around him that he always had a plan that he'd actually succeeded. The truth was, he never had less than three.

Naruto to everyone he allowed close.

Remember, every statement is a falsehood.Some of them are the opposite of truth. Some of them are related to the truth only in that the person telling the lie wishes the statement was true. Most of them have some element of truth to it, but the details are misleading and the fundamental statement isn't true. As a general rule, if you want to know the truth of things, look at the details. A good lie has a dozen true, provable details, but they're all twisted to say something completely wrong. Also, think about who is telling the like, and to whom.

To judge by the list, Naruto lies a lot. Some characters lie because they want something. Some characters lie to themselves. Some characters get lied to cause they're easy marks. Some characters lie to influence others. Some characters lie because it's funny. But the point is, everybody lies sometimes.Hey, people lie.


	10. Memories Lie: one

New year, new story arc, new style. I decided to go back to the style of writing I was using in People Lie rather than continuing the one I was using in Clients Lie. The characterization remains the same, I'm talking purely the style I use to convey the story. That being said, this is the beginning of a new story arc, cutting Clients Lie off at an admittedly odd place. I have reasons for doing so.

Memories Lie.

Sasuke opened one eye blearily, turning his head slightly to the right to see the sun peeking above the Konoha rooftops and stream in the glass window of the hospital room. His other eye wouldn't open, and the one that did seemed to have something in it, something sticky that tinted his vision pink. He blinked several times, closing his eyes for several moments in between attempts.

Slowly, shaking from the effort, he lifted his right hand and rubbed gently at the eye that wouldn't open, feeling a hard crust flake away from his eyelashes. Then he rubbed at the other, getting more gunk off his lashes and feeling more scrape away from his cheek. His eyes burned with effort and soreness, and quickly watered to flush his eyeballs clean.

Finally, he could see out of both eyes, though there were blurry spots in his vision where something still stuck to his eyes. Tired from the effort, he let his hand drop to his throat, then down his chest to a comfortable spot.

He lay there for many long minutes, breathing slowly. The sun was climbing steadily into the sky, and in his mental fog, he could actually see it happen in real time. Birds flew from trees to rooftops, and they left odd trails in the sky that followed their flight path.

Turning slightly, he saw the inside wall of the room, as well as the IV stand and tubes running down to the needle in his hand. Distantly, he wished it was gone, but it was just too much effort to remove. He was hazy and comfortable and all ambition had been completely denied him, but there was something… some deeper emotion that would not go away, if only he could remember it. A table across the room was crowded with vases, a riot of lilies, orchids, and countless other flowers all competing for space and color. It was nearly violent with petals and different hues, so that no single flower stood out. He shied his gaze away.

Sasuke blinked lethargically as the door to the room opened and a middle aged medic nin walked in carrying a fresh IV bag and a set of capped syringes. Sasuke met her eyes as she walked, her cool blue meeting his crimson studded with black, and he moved his hand, although to what purpose even he couldn't say. He offered no resistance as she switched out the bag of saline draining into his hand, and stared dully as she pushed each syringe into the bag in turn and depressed the plunger.

Sasuke's eyes closed and he took a little nap.

o/

Sasuke opened his eyes. There was something- no, someone, with yellow hair at the table with the flowers. The person started to turn around, and Sasuke closed his eyes again.

o/

Sasuke woke up again, opening his eyes slowly.

Something PINK looked back at him.

"Gmh," he grunted, recoiling in quiet horror.

"Sasuke! You're awake!" Midori exclaimed excitedly. "Oh, thank goodness, we were all very worried about you!"

Sasuke blinked rapidly, astonished both by his visitor and the ability to blink easily. He rubbed at his eyes, pushing himself up easily. Only a small crust of gunk had formed on his eyelashes, and his mind was clear and unfogged for the first time since… since-

_-Bacchi released the ankle cuffs, allowing the bloody corpse to drop headfirst onto the profane altar- _

He blinked again and it was Sakura there in front of him, her pink hair silky and neat, not matted with her blood.

One hand flashed out like lightning and grabbed the front of her dress. "How long have I been out?" he demanded.

"Eep!" she squeaked, startled at suddenly finding herself jerked close to his face, his strangely changed eyes boring into her with an intensity she found frightening. The black comma-like marks began to spin.

"How long?" he repeated, giving her a little shake.

"F-f-f-five d-days," she gasped.

"Hinata? Naruto?" he asked.

"What?"

"Are they alive or dead?" His voice was low and dangerous.

Sakura trembled. "Alive!"

The strength that had surged through him fled, and he released his grip on her dress, collapsing back to the bed as she staggered backwards. A wave of weariness crashed over him, informing him that the health he'd felt when he first woke up was a thin shell indeed. For many long moments all he did was lay there and breathe.

Sakura was still by the bedside when he turned her direction again, although she was visibly nervous and fidgeting.

"Well?" he said tiredly.

"I, uh, I, I just thought you m-might want to know that… might want to know… …more," she finished lamely.

Something grabbed his heart, and he closed his eyes and clenched his fists.

He opened them again. "Tell me."

She trembled.

"Sakura, please tell me."

"Naruto… he's, um, he's still unconscious. The doctors say they don't know when he's going to wake up. And Hinata…"

His fists clenched harder, his calloused knuckles showing white.

"I think she's blind," Sakura finished with a squeak.

"No."

"Her eyes are bandaged real thick and a nurse had to lead her when she got up-"

"Did you talk to her."

"No," she squeaked.

"Where are they?" he demanded.

"Uh, Naruto's room, next door-"

Sasuke flipped the covers off and swung his legs over the side of the bed, stripping the IV from his hand as he did so. His legs shook for a moments as he landed heavily on his feet, but he forced the weakness away with a burst of will. He took one step forward, then his eyes crossed and he froze.

A second later, he eased backwards very carefully, then cautiously fished under his hospital gown around his waist. His whole body tensed, then he had a thin, clear plastic hose in his hand, the end dribbling a few drops of yellow fluid, which he glared at with an expression of murder. Now free of the bed, he stepped forward again.

"Show me."

He grabbed Sakura by the back of the neck and guided her out of the room, his fingers just tight enough to brook no disobedience. Despite making her walk, he was sensitive enough to the tension in her muscles to know that she wanted to turn left, and he forced her to take him where she wanted to go.

Hinata was sitting in a chair when they entered the room. She did not get up, though she did turn her head in their direction as the door opened.

Naruto was laying in the hospital bed, the only movement the slow rise and fall of his chest. An IV hung to one side, dripping its chemical cocktail into his veins.

"Sasuke, you finally woke up," Hinata noted wryly.

Sasuke turned his attention back to her. She was wearing a long white robe, and had a generic grey hospital blanket wrapped around her shoulders. One forearm appeared to be wrapped and possibly splinted, but the robe and the blanket must have concealed the rest of the wounds to her body he knew she had suffered. But, what was quite noticeable as Sakura had mentioned, her upper face, from her nose to the middle of her forehead, was wrapped in thick layers of white gauze bandages.

"Hinata? What happened to your eyes?" he whispered, wavering to the point he had to support himself on Sakura, who winced but made no protest as his fingers dug into her neck. "I know you were bleeding around them, but…"

Hinata smiled humorlessly. "The doctors said I was hemorrhaging blood and chakra, so they sealed my eyes. I can't see anything. Like you, I couldn't turn off my bloodline, but it nearly killed me. You picked your own way to almost kill yourself."

Sasuke blinked, realizing that the sometimes odd look of the world was because he'd woken up with his sharingan activated.

"I…" he began, letting go of Sakura and stumbling over to Naruto's bedside, staring down at him.

"You ran all the way to Konoha at top speed, carrying both of us, naked. You burned up every drop of chakra you had to get us here in time," Hinata explained softly. "You saved our lives, Sasuke."

Sasuke turned his head, shooting a look at the bandaged kunoichi, and saw that Sakura was blushing furiously, but staring at him all the same.

"A-ano… Sasuke-kun… Your hospital gown… it's open in the back…" she stammered.

Sasuke frowned and cautiously felt the hem of the gown flapping at his hips. There was a certain drafty quality to it.

"Icanseeyourbutt," she added, blushing furiously but with a certain tone in her words that spoke volumes of how this was the most important thing she'd ever seen.

"Oh, the irony," Hinata commented quietly, rubbing at her bandages.

o/

A chair had been brought in for Sasuke by Sakura, who was still blushing to the point her face was redder than her hair. Sasuke took it with considerable dignity, considering he'd just shown his ass.

"Are you…" Sasuke began hesitantly.

"Blind permanently?" Hinata finished for him. "No. Break the seal, I can see fine."

"You said that your bloodline was permanently activated?" Sasuke asked.

"Apparently, just like yours, since your eyes didn't revert even when you nearly died of chakra exhaustion. You may be able to stop it, and you might want to try. But, just like me, when Naruto..." she hesitated, rubbing beneath the front of her robe, "gifted… you, it activated your bloodline. But unlike you, my byakugan puts a strain on the blood vessels and chakra coils that feed my eyes, so I never clotted. I nearly bled to death. Also unlike you, it uses more chakra than I make, and I also nearly died of chakra exhaustion. So they had to seal my eyes to stop the bleeding. Once I heal, I might be able to break the seal without bleeding again. But even if I can, I'll have to reapply the seal if I don't want to die of chakra exhaustion."

Sasuke sat there in silence, attended to in silence by Sakura. He turned slightly, looking at her, taking in her perfect composure. "You…"

"Don't seem worried?" she asked, one corner of her mouth quirking upwards.

He just stared.

She smiled, or, at least, she bared her teeth. Despite her eyes being bandaged, and self admittedly sealed, she seemed to give him a look that pierced him to his soul.

"Don't give me that look, Sasuke."

Sakura looked from the rather intimidating vicious snarl of her lips to Sasuke's somewhat gob smacked look of shock and felt the need to stand up for her longtime crush.

"Hinata-san, he's just being concerned-"

"Be quiet, Sakura," Hinata ordered in a clear voice, not turning her head away from her stare down of the Uchiha.

Sakura hissed in breath in surprise. Hinata was never one of the popular girls at school, for all that she was the eldest daughter of the head of the Hyuga clan and thus heir to considerable wealth and power. She'd always seemed rather shy, and probably would have been picked on if she hadn't been sheltered by her family status.

"Now just a damned minute-"

"Sakura, be quiet," Hinata repeated, and rather than just the calm voice of command, there was a darker undercurrent that promised pain, if not outright death.

Sakura shut up, repressing a shiver.

Sasuke, after a moment, inclined his head in respect. "I understand," he said thoughtfully.

She didn't move, but there was something, a flick of chakra in the air, perhaps, that indicated he should go on.

"What do the doctors say about Naruto?" he asked.

This time Hinata inclined her head, acknowledging that he'd finally gotten to the important matter.

"Internal injuries to his abdomen, incomplete healing where he'd been hit, and other injuries that seemed like some sort of poisonous acid that his body was unable to completely overcome," she listed calmly. "Probably the ichor, they brought in what I think was an ANBU doctor to deal with it, but I have no proof," she admitted. "The big problem is his chakra isn't flowing right, which isn't entirely due to damage to his coils. You remember how he collapsed right after he killed that thing that came out of the cave, I think it did more than just physical damage."

Sasuke shuddered slightly and closed his eyes, remembering-

-the ground disappeared beneath him, dissolving into a thin slurry as a mottled black column of flesh surged up from below-

No, no, you don't remember, you don't remember that there's no such thing nothing has that many-

- eyes on stalks set in gaping holes filled with fanged cilia, club like hands closing around his arms sucker coated tendrils pricking at his skin-

NO! He would not remember!

He opened his eyes again, the red and black of his sharingan standing out in stark relief against his now ghostly pale face.

"I can easily believe that."

Hinata's lips quirked again. "Anyone else would have died."

Sasuke nodded tiredly and looked back to the bed, watching the steady rise and fall of the sheets over Naruto's chest.

"I can believe that, too," he said respectfully.

Sakura gaped at him, her crush, Sasuke Uchiha, the strongest genin in Konoha, saying such things about Naruto, the guy with the worst grades out of everyone who'd graduated their year?

"How long until he wakes up?" Sasuke asked.

Hinata shook her head. "The doctors don't know, and I don't have a guess. But he will. I know it."

"How long until we know more?"

Hinata shrugged slightly. "A day? Two? A week?"

He nodded. "Okay."

He stood on shaky legs, his time sitting down and the conversation having exhausted his meager reserves of energy. A second later he sat down heavily, discovering to his immense displeasure that he no longer had even the strength to stand.

"Sakura," Hinata said quietly, "please help Sasuke back to his room."

"Y-yes!"

Sasuke opened his mouth to protest, but the truth was, he wouldn't be able to make it back on his own. He knew his own body well enough to know his limitations, you'd have to be a fool not to, and Sasuke was no fool. He would never have gotten out of bed, if he hadn't been possessed of the irrational urge to find his teammates, as if it made any difference.

If only he had more power! Power like that he'd felt when he fought Bacchi…

Hey, that was an idea. Perhaps, he could solve a lot of problems all at once. But first, he needed to rest.

Stoically, he allowed Sakura to get his arm over her shoulder and support his weight, though it still took more effort than he'd like to admit to move his legs enough that it at least appeared he was walking rather than being dragged along by the pink haired girl.

Hinata didn't move from her chair as she heard the two leave, having no difficulty whatsoever in pinpointing their location. She found her thoughts sharpened to a razor edge with the removal of her sight, cutting off the wealth of information that flooded her from the outside. Her hearing was that of a normal human's, but even human hearing was perfectly adequate to hear the subtle sounds of the world around her, all she had to do was think about what those sounds meant.

Naruto, amazing, powerful, intelligent Naruto, had taught her to think. To analyze, to predict, to gather the whole from the tiny nuances. Theoretically, shinobi were already supposed to do that. Practically, she had a dim view of the general lot of them.

From down the hall, right at the edge of hearing, she heard Sakura's quiet proclamation.

"I've gotten stronger, just like you told me to, Sasuke. You'll see, I'll keep getting stronger."

Hinata smiled. Naruto's plans kept moving even while he slept, and it was her duty, besides watching over him, to watch over and encourage them.

o/

"You saw his butt?!" Ino exclaimed in disbelief.

Sakura grinned, a near evil glint at having one upped her rival so thoroughly. Both of them completely ignored the occasional look they got from the civilians as they walked through the village, though admiring looks from cute males were duly noted and cataloged.

"Completely, utterly, and totally," she confirmed. "He got out of bed to check on his teammates and the back wasn't tied closed, so it just kinda flopped around. You know they never let patients wear anything but those drafty gowns, so that was probably all they slipped on him when he showed up."

It was to both kunoichi's chagrin that they'd been elsewhere when The Great Naked Uchiha event had happened, and Ino was NOT happy to have missed out on her second chance to see Sasuke's ass. Every girl in the village had unanimously given it a full ten. It averaged out to a grudging six among the males of the village, the honest and somewhat jealously admitted tens warring with the zeros and occasional negative three hundred and sixteens.

"You lucky bitch!" Ino cried, and punched her lightly in the shoulder.

"I am a lucky bitch," Sakura replied with a smirk, suppressing a wince as she rubbed at what was probably going to be a bruise on her shoulder. Ino took her taijutsu seriously these days. "I even got to help him walk around the hospital."

"Ugh!" Ino complained, suddenly turning around and walking the other way. "I am so not talking to you. Did you at least find out anything about their mission? How much ass Sasuke kicked, anything?"

Sakura had changed her direction and once again fell into step beside the blonde, and she finally winced slightly. "No, damnit. He and Hinata talked about it a little, but only really generally. I think they didn't want to discuss it around me."

"You obviously just don't have the gift for gossip. Tomorrow, I'll show you how a pro does it, so you keep your forehead out of there, all right?"

"Don't go rooting around where you aren't wanted, Ino-pig," Sakura snapped back lightly. "I don't think Hinata would take it well."

Ino sniffed dismissively. "Hinata's no big deal. I beat her before, and now, what, she's blind? You just wait, Forehead, I'll know everything there is to know about what happened by the time I see you again tomorrow."

o/

Ino sweated profusely, her eyes rolling in her head so she could see the hand, and the scalpel, held uncomfortably close to her temple.

"I think you must have misunderstood me," Hinata said cheerfully. "I said I did not wish to discuss the circumstances of our mission with you at this time. If you need to know at a future date, rest assured, I will let you know."

A single droplet of something warmer than sweat ran down the side of her head from the tip of the scalpel.

Ino was too afraid to move to nod her head.

"I can tell by your heartbeat that you agree with me. That's good. Now, I have a meeting with the doctors in an hour, and I intend to spend it in Naruto's room. I don't wish to be bothered, and I'm sure Naruto doesn't need any commotion near him while he's healing. I suggest you go watch Sasuke sleep. I'm disappointed for you that the nurses saw fit to give him medicine to encourage his rest after his activity yesterday, but these things happen."

Ino swallowed audibly.

Hinata smiled, or, perhaps, bared her teeth again. "Come, now, Ino-chan. Say it with me. 'These things happen.'"

"T-these things happ-ppen."

Hinata couldn't see it, but she had little trouble imaging how the whites of Ino's eyes must be showing right now.

"I'm glad you understand. Have fun watching him breathe."

And the scalpel was removed.

o/

"Bandaid, Ino-pig?" Sakura asked. "Cut yourself shaving that beard again?"

"Shut it, Forehead."

o/

The morning sun was climbing high in the sky, but far from seek shelter from its merciless rays, Sasuke sat near the edge of the roof facing it, leaning against a boxy metal vent thing. It was quit hot to the touch, and he leaned against it comfortably, letting its warmth seep into his back.

It was going to be a hot and humid one, just like the days they'd spent in Tomahigiro. Pink hair bobbed in the distance of the street below, caught right as his eyes drooped closed, reminding of him of when he'd first seen her…

o/

The night we spent on the barn was uneventful, once we'd finally went to sleep. The murderous chakra bears didn't visit us in the night, Naruto left me alone, and Hinata didn't say a word until well into the next morning. Well, there was one thing, when I woke up near the end of Naruto's watch, I found that Hinata had apparently worked her way across his bedroll and snuggled into my side, missing his warmth, I assume.

Any other girl, I would have assumed it was a calculated ploy just to get near me, but with Hinata… She all but said she hated me that night, and the look on her face when I stirred and she woke up was one of the most poisonous things I'd ever seen. You'd think I was the one who'd snuggled up to her by her attitude.

Weird girl.

Thank god I had her as a teammate instead of one of my more rabid fangirls.

We woke up early, just before sunrise, ate a hurried meal of dried travel rations, then followed Kakashi-sensei and his dogs for two hours before we found where our clients had been heading.

It was another farm, or maybe the correct term is ranch. There were twenty eight people there, and all twenty eight of them were in the fields, or the garden, or the big, sturdy looking barn, from the youngest, a seven year old boy, to the oldest, a dottering grandmother picking her way slowly through the little herb garden to one side of the house.

The farm was bigger than the other, with more cleared land within view of the big house and outbuildings, but still, nearly thirty people was excessive. Of course, all of them didn't live there, and even with the extra people, they were rushing to the best of their ability to maintain the farm.

The problem was the cows. There were entirely too many of them, even for a farm this size. I supposed that they had consolidated the two herds for defense.

"I smell blood," Naruto announced. "Looks like the chakra bears were here last night."

"Pakkun, scout the area while we introduce ourselves to the clients," Kakashi ordered.

With a wave of his paw, the little brown dog vanished.

Our client, officially, was the head of the Hiroashi family, the ones who owned the farm we spent the night at. It was his son who'd made the trip to Konoha and purchased our services.

Unofficially, however, we had been hired by a loose group of respected local families, all of whom had interests threatened by the marauders, though the Saburou family, who owned the farm we found ourselves at, had put up the second largest share after the Hiroashis.

Apparently, the reason for this was that the families were entering an alliance of marriage. The eldest Hiroashi daughter was engaged to the eldest son of the Saburous.

Interestingly, when we interviewed them, it was Hinjo Saburou, the eldest son, who'd been the only one to get a clear view of the bears, and that was what he claimed they were. Apparently, once cows had started dying just over a week ago, he'd gotten his bow and hid in the barn on the night of the full moon. He said there were six of them, brown, like we already knew, and they came running out of the trees around the swamp, tore through a couple of cows, and then left. He wasn't brave enough to take a shot at them with his bow, afraid he'd draw their attention.

No one else had seen them except Shinjo, one of the Hiroashi farm workers, and supposedly the eldest son, Katsuo, as well, though we didn't get a chance to ask him. Apparently, since the attacks had continued while they waited for a team from Konoha, they decided to send someone to ask us to hurry along.

While I would have preferred we got the opportunity to ask Katsuo about what he saw, Shinjo said that they were together when they saw three of them moving in and out of the trees at the edge of one of the fields right at dusk just a few nights ago, which also matched what Kakashi-sensei's dogs had told us. Shinjo was a burly, coarse spoken man, but he answered our questions willingly enough.

I couldn't say the same about the rest of the families. Most of the Saburou farm workers didn't know much of anything about what was going on, beyond the rumors, and that the herds couldn't be kept together much longer. Most of the herd was actually Hiroashi cattle, but only about a third had ever even been at their farm, the rest bought from outside sources as well as the Saburous, but would actually end up a part of the Saburou's heard as part of a convoluted deal between the families that also included a dowry arrangement. None of the family heads really wanted to discuss it, claiming it had no bearing on what they'd hired us to do, which was kill the bears eating their cattle.

No one particularly felt the need to correct them about the difference between 'eating' and 'pureeing'.

In general, I wasn't much impressed with the families. Civilians. Hinjo made several snide comments about the lateness of Konoha ninja, the workers were all scruffy looking men one step above common thugs, heavily muscled but without a drop of chakra in them, and naturally they expressed doubts to whether 'children' could handle a real fight.

Only one of them voluntarily approached us.

Midori Higurashi.

She of the long pink hair and the warm green eyes.

o/

Sasuke blinked sleepily, surprising himself. He must have dozed off, something he'd been doing a lot lately. Running yourself out of chakra was a seriously bad thing, given that when your body ran out of energy, it also seemed to lose the ability to easily make more. Get tired, take a nap. Get exhausted, get a good night's sleep. Nearly kill yourself with effort, don't plan anything for a couple weeks.

Human limitations of chakra were such a pain in the ass.

But maybe, just maybe he'd found a way around that. Naruto… The Kyubi no Kitsune said they had a deal. Blood for power. Power for blood. Call and I come. Come when I call.

How powerful was that deal, sealed in blood over that profane altar?

With Naruto still unconscious and unable to grant him that power, could he not summon it himself? He rubbed gently at the bite on his shoulder, white scars of teeth marks in flesh where Naruto, or the Kyubi, had bitten him.

Another memory, of the day they had reached the farm, rose. Kakashi had summoned his dogs with an easy string of hand seals. Once you had the contract, the summoning was just a request, right?

He hadn't possessed the sharingan when Kakashi had performed those seals, but the masked ninja hadn't exactly tried to conceal them.

Frowning in concentration, Sasuke bit his thumb hard, his eye tooth sinking deep enough into the flesh to tear skin and draw blood. Careful hand seals smeared crimson over his hands as he closed his eyes and mentally whispered Naruto's name…

o/

Naruto smelled blood.

No, more than smell. He could taste it, it tinted his world red, the pulse of it pounded in his ears, the sticky weight of it dripped across his tongue, filled his stomach, the power of it pounded in his coils, opened his eyes, saturated his very being.

Life, spirit, POWER, chakra at its most primitive, it surged and flowed, yet it was sluggish. Tendrils and arms covered in teeth, claws, sucking orifices and things that had no name from the world of humans had done terrible damage to him. Some wounds attacked the body and soul, some went so deep as to leave great rents in the unflesh of the nine tailed fox imprisoned within him.

The fox was hurting, lying quietly on the floor of its cell, waiting on the natural processes of the life it was now tied to to heal it when it heard the call, felt the blood offered to it. Weakened, injured, exhausted, it grabbed at the offered blood, yet, it wasn't enough.

To beseech a god is to accept the terms if it answers.

The Kyubi called for chakra as well as blood, and it could not be denied.

Energy thrummed through the fox, the power of Sasuke's willing sacrifice, then the hungry, healing beast sucked at the power of his _unwilling_ sacrifice. Many, many long minutes passed, the wounds of the great demon slowly healing as the surprising depths of the human being were plundered for life.

None of those involved could have told the passing of time. It might have been an instant. It might have been an hour. But there was a definite beginning, middle, and ending.

The depths of Naruto's soul echoed with the laugher of the huge, ancient being, the most powerful of its kind.

A bargain had been struck indeed.

Blood for power.

Power for blood.

But none of them, not the scion of the accursed Uchiha, not the pale eyed bitch, not even the arrogant little prison who thought himself so clever in the ways of men thought to wonder who the bargain favored.

Roaring in delight, the Kyubi no Kitsune stopped drawing on the life force of the Uchiha before the spark of his being guttered out and died, choosing to answer as he saw fit. The tiniest fraction of his power was shoved down that mystical connection, and distantly, the pathetic human arched his back in shock at the rush of malevolent chakra that exploded within him, demonic energy freely spent replacing the incomparable richness of his life force.

Naruto opened his eyes.

The summon had been made.

It must be answered.

Dimly, he was aware of Hinata fluttering along beside him anxiously, her quiet pleads for information falling on deaf ears. None of his surroundings mattered, he simply had to move.

His body hurt, he was clumsy, and slow. Something clattered to the ground nearby, a bright flash of polished stainless steel, but it mattered not. Stairs crawled by as he spent energy he didn't have, following the irresistible urge to go to where Sasuke was.

It wasn't until he stumbled through the door leading onto the open roof that he was his own person again.

Now, he looked around, blinking owlishly against the bright noon sun.

Laundry, bleached white by harsh chemicals and even harsher sun, flapped gently in the quiet breeze. Konoha buzzed quietly in the background, the living hum of a thousand people busy with their lives on a perfect day for work. Distant machinery squeaked somewhere in the hospital, fans keeping the air moving to avoid stifling the people within. A low sheet metal box set on the rooftop nearby rang softly with the soft taps of a pigeon's wings beating for position as it cooed in avian delight.

Rapid footsteps sounded behind him, and he glanced back, watching as a pink haired girl recoiled in momentary shock at the feral gaze he turned on her. Hinata moved to her side, and Naruto dismissed her from his concerns.

Naruto's slow survey of the roof swung back to the pale grey bird, taking in the bobs of its tail and the coos of lust as it humped its glossy black mate below.

Naruto's eyes, red and slit pupiled with demon chakra, focused on the amorous bird, easy prey for a hungry fox.

Wait.

There aren't many black pigeons.

There especially aren't many black pigeons who have hair instead of feathers.

Blinking, followed closely by Hinata, her hands opening and closing as she resisted the urge to grab his gown, Naruto staggered around the side of the boxy vent.

"Coooo… CoooooOOooohh…."

Sasuke sat collapsed against the other side, only his hair visible over the top. The pigeon's feet scrambled for grip in his hair, its tail curling forward against the spikes in the back over and over, cooing its pleasure.

"Sasuke…" Naruto breathed, blinking at the bizarre sight. He moved closer, and another pigeon landed on the vent behind him, cocking its head to one side as it watched. Still another landed on his shoulder and pecked jealously at the one on top.

"You've got head pigeons," he added as he and Hinata moved closer. Shocked at the indignity the boy was suffering, Sakura darted forward to shoo away the offending bird, only to freeze in horror.

Rapidly beating wings and tremulous coos signaled a peak in the pigeon's efforts, tipping Sasuke's head forward and twisting it to one side as the bird nearly fell off. Naruto saw why Sakura had suddenly stopped and covered her mouth against a gasp of horror.

Blood poured from Sasuke's eyes, dripping down his cheeks and onto the white shirt he wore in lieu of a gown, creating a rapidly spreading crimson stain.

"Sakura… Hinata…" Naruto began. "You might want to-"

"I… I'll go get a nurse," Sakura agreed quickly, nearly stumbling in her haste. Hinata grabbed her arm as the girl passed and the two of them quickly disappeared into the stairwell.

Naruto took several steps forward, finally reaching his true goal of answering Sasuke's summon. Then, as sudden as it had came, the drive that sustained him drained away, creating a wave of weakness that crashed over him. His eyes widened and he collapsed to the gritty roof, having just enough presence of mind to fall to his right, letting his shoulder rest against the corner of the galvanized vent box.

Shuddering with effort, Naruto chuckled weakly as his chin dropped forward. "Well, Sasuke," he whispered. "Isn't this a mess."

One crimson eye set in the bloody, weeping socket rolled slowly, and he looked Naruto's way.

The amorous pigeon strutted its stuff back and forth across the dark haired boy's shoulders, flapping its wings and pecking at the intruders seeking to interrupt its special time with its new mate. Frustrated, one cooed angrily and flapped over to Naruto with an air of wounded dignity, as if it wanted to say that gentlepidgeons preferred blondes anyway.

"Aww… Hell… They're spreading…"

o/

"Hinata."

Hinata was instantly alert, chakra pouring off her body and wrapping around her in the secret way of the Hyuga, who were well aware that their eyes were a weakness as well as a strength.

"It's okay, Hinata. We're alone."

"Naruto?" Hinata asked, sitting up on her bed. "Are you okay?"

Naruto smiled down at her bandaged face with a tenderness even Hinata had only saw once.

"I'm fine. Most of my strength has returned and I'm nearly completely healed. I've already sent a few bunshins out to take care of some business."

"Business? What time is it?"

"It's about one in the afternoon. I finally woke up again at about nine this morning. I sent three for the usual misdirection, one to see if we can get some special training, and another to raid a stash so we're not so damned defenseless in here." He wrapped her fingers around the handle of a slim kunai and watched as she absently but carefully tucked it in her robe. "The last is to write a request for a personal meeting with the Hokage and deliver it to the Tower. I need to ask him some questions." He paused.

Hinata felt a hand ruffle her short black hair tenderly, freeing up a tiny lock from beneath one of the layers of white cotton. She sighed and leaned her face into his caress, bringing one of her hands up to feel his.

"Is there anything you need me to take care of?" Naruto asked.

"No. My father came by the day I woke up and found out my eyes had been sealed. The Hokage was there, he offered to work on a solution to my problem. He's coming back the day after tomorrow with a more permanent solution, you may want to meet with him then."

"That works." He paused.

"..yes, Naruto?" Hinata asked, still rubbing his hand against her cheek.

"What is all this?" he asked, giving the bandages around her head a tap near the temple. "The last thing I clearly remember-"

-his eyes were dull, but still aware when the old priest finally reached his neck, cutting an intricate collar of angular joined symbols into a collar, peeling the skin off with the cruelly hooked scraper. Blood ran from the wounds, down his body and neck, dripping into his ears, making his hair sodden. Hanging him upside down worked just like he'd warned Sasuke about. He was conscious every step of the way, the remaining blood pooling in his brain.

It hurt. He would have screamed if he thought it was the desired result, but the old guy didn't seem interested in his pain. He just kept carving those elaborate characters into his flesh, running his mottled black hand over the raw wound, the inhuman touch sizzling the flesh and preventing it from healing. The pain was there, but inconsequential. He had experienced worse. Instead, he threw himself against the shackles on his ankles and wrist repeatedly, heedless of how his efforts made absolutely no difference to the priest, who had a steady hand, or how it caused the deep punctures in his abdomen to open farther, one loop of intestine bulging into the air.

Hinata's screams were somewhat muted due to the blood in his ear, mixed in with Sasuke's inventively vile death threats and curses. If he got out of this, he would have to congratulate the Uchiha on a couple of those.

So involved was he in his escape efforts that the knife slicing through his throat came as a complete surprise. He would have expected there to be more ceremony before his sacrifice, though it did explain why everyone's screams had suddenly gotten louder. His blood gushed down his face, pooling on the stone altar right below his head, and NOW things got all ceremonial as the guy started to chant in a prehuman tongue-

"…I clearly remember your scream," Naruto said evenly. "And then I kinda remember a lot more of your screams. They made me very angry."

"I was very upset," she admitted quietly, her voice echoing the horror she'd seen. "I thought you were dead."

He pushed the hem of her robe open, exposing her neck and revealing a faint tracery of puckered pink lines on her skin. Elaborate, looping characters with angular interconnecting lines, the same marks that had been carved into his skin. He knew that they would travel down her body, her breasts, her stomach, all the way to the soles of her feet, because that was where they started with him.

"…Naruto?! Naruto!?" Hinata's voice seemed like it was coming from very far away.

He blinked and let go of her robe, dimly aware that his hand had clenched so hard his fingers had curled through the cloth. Apparently it was possible to black out with nothing but pure rage.

"You were next," he said flatly.

Hinata looked down. "…yes."

Naruto's expression darkened. "Your screams... While I just lay there…"

Hinata's head snapped up and she seized both his hands in her own.

"They were for you, Naruto," she whispered. "I've been hurt worse in training, for all that no one could see it. Juken leaves no marks. Sasuke and I were screaming for you. We feared you were dead, but somehow we knew that you were stronger than that."

Naruto let some of the tension seep out of his hands as she quirked her mouth in a tiny smile.

"We were right. You rose from the floor naked and bloody like a god reborn. You killed the two bears guarding the chamber. You scared off the priests. You let us go, healed us, gave us a kiss of power. You fought that thing from the cave so we could get out."

Naruto shook his head slightly, feeling the slight tremble in his shoulders. "I don't think that was me, Hinata. That was… him. I was just sort of watching."

"You were in there, I could tell," she replied, gently disagreeing. "I still remember how you looked, terrible and noble and angry and benevolent all at the same time. When you touched my eyes, I could see everything all at once, even things I'd never been able to see before. It was wondrous to finally see the real you. All of you."

He reached out and stroked her temple with his thumb, feeling the softness of the cotton bandages beneath his fingertip. "I destroyed your sight."

Hinata shook her head in. "It was my fault, I tried to do something I wasn't strong enough for. I was so weak that when you and Sasuke fell to the…" She paused, swallowing.

Naruto eased himself on the bed beside her and put an arm around her shoulders. She seemed so small, almost frail, lost in the big hospital bed. "When I was nearly gutted, yes," he added for her.

"I couldn't even _see_ it," she hissed. "I knew something was there, but it was like my eyes just refused to look that way. After you had touched them on the altar, though, I could look at it." Her voice rose, gaining a fever pitch. "Eyes and hands and tentacles and mouths and things I can't even begin to describe, but that was just the surface, you would not believe what was on the inside! I forced your chakra into my eyes, and I could see it! Organs and muscles and glands and cells and alien chakra all tied together in ways I could actually see and understand! But I was foolish. When I looked at you, I could see the incredible power sealed inside, but it too bright, so I didn't look directly at it. But when I looked at the shoggoth..."

"Your eyes exploded."

She shook her head again, an emphatic no. "It wasn't my eyes, it was the choushijiro, the white veins that feed blood and chakra to my eyes. I tried to look too close, and I just kept forcing power into my eyes. But it's really not as bad as it seems. It didn't slow me down, I didn't even NOTICE until afterward." She ran her fingers through her short, tousled hair ruefully. "Sasuke had to deal with something similar, you saw. The Uchiha bloodline limit puts a different type of strain on the body, and when he used his sharingan in battle, he burst the capillaries in his eyes, so it looks like he's crying blood.

"When you marked us, you permanently activated our bloodlines. Sasuke's eyes changed, and now they won't change back. It draws on his chakra, but not hard enough to endanger his life. The byakugan requires more chakra to keep active than I make during that time, and it's a strain on the choushijiro. So they sealed my eyes while I heal. After I heal, I can break the seal and I'll be able to see again, but I'll run out of chakra. The Hokage and some of the doctors promised my father that they could come up with a way to partially seal me, so I'd be able to see again without using too much chakra. That's why he's coming back."

Naruto nodded and gave her a squeeze. "How did your father take it."

Hinata let her head droop forward. "I can't say. Probably not well. He only saw me once, and then didn't say anything. I'm not sure the old deadline remains anymore. He'd given me until sixteen or marriage before I get moved to the Branch, but with this change…" She shrugged helplessly. "He might seal me as soon as I get home."

"Not gonna happen," Naruto assured her. "I've been thinking about how to better grant you power, and that's why I want to talk to the Hokage. If we have to, I'll give you another little love bite on the neck. I remember catching a glimpse of you and Sasuke fighting Bacchi and the old priest. Even the damned fox approved." He grinned, showing teeth. "Still, we need to make our move soon. And maybe even Sasuke could prove some use there. After all, how much is the word of the heir of the Uchiha worth? Political power is still power."

"I wasn't worried," she replied, turning her sightless eyes in his direction. "I knew you'd have a plan."

He laughed. "Well, I'm glad you kept your confidence. I haven't actually met your sister yet, but there is no way in hell she's more suited to rule your clan than you." He patted her shoulder. "I'd best go check on our third. I'll be back to check on you later."

She smiled at him. "Yes, Naruto."

o/

Naruto found Sasuke doing one fingered pushups in his hospital bed wearing only a loose pair of drawstring pants. The muscles in his lean back bunched and twisted under his skin as he smoothly rose and fell, and sweat rolled down his arms, leaving streaks where his IV rubbed across his forearm with every completed repetition. A pint of blood hung from the rack now, replacing that which flowed from his eyes and occasionally dripped onto a towel he'd placed beneath his face.

Naruto stood watching for several long minutes as Sasuke worked, feeling the near frenetic energy that thrummed through the dark haired boy, energy kept restrained only by his incredible self control.

"…Wow, Sasuke. I know I've said some bad things about your fangirls before, but I can't fault their taste," Naruto said after a moment, frankly admiring.

"Hn." He didn't stop his exercise.

"I brought something for you. Had a bunshin go get it from your place." Naruto set a kunai on the bedside table. "Kunai." He set a plastic bottle beside it. "Shampoo."

Sasuke abruptly stopped, turning his head to glance at the bottle, then Naruto, searching for any trace of amusement.

Naruto stared back evenly, noting the three white flecks in Sasuke's eyes of crimson and black.

He changed to a seated position, picking up the small towel as he did so and wiping at the streaks of blood on his cheeks. "No snide comment? No witty quip?" he asked.

Naruto shook his head. "Don't be concerned for your dignity, Sasuke. My memories are still fuzzy in places, but I remember when you fought Bacchi and the old priest. If you dressed like a geisha and used pink kunai, I'd still see you as I saw you then."

After a moment, Sasuke inclined his head slightly, accepting the acknowledgement for what it was.

"How do you feel?"

Sasuke's eyes blazed. "Good. Not like I did the first time, but I can still feel the power flowing through my coils."

Naruto squatted on the floor, his arms stretched out away from him, elbows on knees. "Yeah, I think that was the fox's fault, since I was injured. I felt it, you know. It feels good to give as well as receive. I heard your call." Abruptly he stood once more and bowed deeply to his seated teammate. "Thank you, Sasuke, and…" He hesitated and closed his eyes for a second, remembering what Sasuke had gone through. "I'm sorry for what happened."

Sasuke gave him an incredulous look. "Sorry? Naruto, you saved me from dying by inches under the knife, and then you gave me the most incredible rush of power I've ever felt. Don't be sorry for that."

Naruto closed his eyes again, clenching his fists, and nodded. If that was what Sasuke chose to focus on, so be it. He would respect and honor him for it. The Uchiha was stronger than he'd given him credit for. He tapped his chest with one fist.

Sasuke looked at him oddly for a moment, then, hesitantly, copied him, tapping his chest with his right fist just as Naruto had done.

"So, other than the bleeding eyes, any problems like Hinata is having?" Naruto asked, the awkward moment passed.

Sasuke shook his head. "No, I'm feeling pretty good, really." He hesitated and looked away, embarrassed. "Except, ah, twice now, I've had this really weird dream where I was wearing these sort of sun god robes on a pyramid surrounded by a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at me."

Whatever reaction he might have expected from the blond, it wasn't the one he got.

"YES!" Naruto cried, collapsing to his knees with his fists thrust into the air and his head thrown back in exultation. "Finally, someone else had that damned dream!"

Sasuke blinked at him as Naruto regained his composure and his feet.

Naruto looked rather unapologetic about his odd outburst, though he did have a thoughtful expression. "Though, under the circumstances, I suppose we should probably call that a side effect of the Kyubi's chakra."

"…interesting," Sasuke allowed. "Are there any other side effects I should be aware of?"

Naruto shrugged. "Well, if your penis suddenly grows three inches overnight, let me know."

Sasuke raised one eyebrow. "Your dick grew three inches in a single night?"

"Well, no, but if yours does, I wanna hear about it," Naruto admitted. "That's the kind of thing I could market."

Sasuke shook his head, fighting a smile. To cover it, he hopped off the bed, jerked the IV out with a casual pull, and grabbed the kunai and the bottle of shampoo. "Well, if that's all, I'm going to find the showers."

Naruto nodded. "Yeah, alright. I've got some clones running around Konoha, anything you want done? I started to get clothes from your apartment, but I figured I'd ask first."

Sasuke nodded. "Yeah, that'd be nice." He swished the bottle in his hand thoughtfully. It was about half empty.

"More shampoo?"

"More shampoo."


	11. Memories Lie: two

"Back, Hinata-chan," Naruto said gently, closing the door behind him quickly. He was no longer wearing hospital issue pants and shirt, instead sporting new shoes and and old pair of faded orange shorts topped by a baggy black shirt with skin tight armored mesh undershirt. He also carried a large paper bag.

Hinata turned her sightless face in his direction and smiled. "How is Sasuke?"

"Sasuke's doing fine. Currently washing his hair, unless I completely miss my guess." He set the bag down on her bed. "I bought you some clothes. Put them on, we're leaving."

"Yes." She rose from the bed and removed her robe.

Naruto watched as he started emptying the bag, pulling out a roll of thick cloth fighting bandages first. "Fighting wraps. Mesh shirt with bra. Panties. Shorts. Shirt. Shoes. Two more kunai and a dozen senbon. We've all got to rearm and get new clothes as soon as we're able."

Hinata folded the white robe and threw it on the bed. She had a set of simple hospital scrubs on beneath, which she removed with no visible hesitation, leaving her bare up top and nothing but grey generic issue hospital underwear. No one from her family had bothered to drop off any clothes. The underwear was peeled off with a similar lack of ceremony, although she did have her back to Naruto.

Naruto stared at her back, his face twisted in rage as he followed the looping characters and angular connecting lines that formed the characters carved into her skin. Large sections of her back were smooth and unmarred, perhaps by design, perhaps as a result of the iron bars she had been shackled to upside down, but he could see how the cuts had nearly met in the middle at the small of her back, then paralleled her spine upwards, branching out twice as they did so. Her buttocks and the back of her legs had the largest characters and thickest lines, but were more spread out for all that. The summoning ritual for the bears that the cult had commanded was a complex rite, and almost all of that complexity was represented by the spell lines that had taken the old priest nearly an hour to create. Though they no longer wept blood, the scars were pale pink and slightly puckered.

"Turn around." His voice was hoarse and dry.

She turned around.

The front of her body had been cut up even more elaborately, with smaller characters forming circles around her chakra centers and strange symbols layered on top of each other, linking them all together in a way that almost made sense with what he knew of seals.

"I'm hideously scarred, aren't I?" she asked, no perceptible emotion in her voice, just a request for information. Only the slightest tension in her hands at her sides gave any indication that she was unhappy.

Naruto swallowed, not allowing himself to close his eyes or look away.

"I-" He swallowed, then tried again.

"I find myself nearly overwhelmed with rage that you were hurt," he said thickly. "I would like nothing more than to make that priest die in agony for what he did to you."

Hinata smiled softly. "Too late. I killed him for what he did to you."

Naruto took two steps forward and grabbed her, pulling her tightly to his chest. With her face beside his and partially covered in bandages, he didn't see her faint blush. Her scars were strangely smooth under his fingertips.

"Hinata, you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," Naruto whispered into her hair. "Every thing I thought you were capable of you've exceeded. You…" He trailed off.

Hinata pulled her head back, his deep blue eyes meeting the bandages over her own.

"You have scars, Hinata. They mark you. But they also highlight you. They make you more beautiful than ever before. Never be ashamed of the marks life left on you, especially since you survived."

Tilting her chin up slightly, he met her lips with his.

o/

"Are you sure, Naruto? I suppose I like her for the purpose, but I'm not sure she's what Sasuke would be interested in." Hinata leaned back in his arms, luxuriating in the feel of his arms around her. A pair of empty cardboard boxes lay nearby, pinned with a rock to keep the winds on top of the Hokage monument from blowing them away.

After a… certain pleasant interlude, she had gotten dressed and Naruto had left a couple of kage bunshins in their place, scooping her up and slipping out of the hospital unnoticed. They wound up on top of the Hokage monument in the evening sun, eating onigiri and dango and talking of many things.

Naruto watched idly as the sun dipped towards the horizon, casting Konoha in a golden glow. "You're the one that said he liked Miko. Pink, pink, eh."

Hinata smiled at Naruto's casually dismissive description of Haruno.

"Not many people use the Hokage monument as a picnic area. I apologize for interrupting your alone time." The voice was warm and amused, but carried the weight of authority.

Naruto's head snapped around to see the Hokage standing nearby, sans hat, watching the two genin with a tolerant air.

Hinata nearly jumped to her feet in embarassment, but Naruto held her down with gentle pressure. Considerably more sedately, they both rose to their feet and bowed respectfully to the Hokage.

"Of course," he continued, "you're both supposed to be in the hospital right now, recovering from your mission and waiting for me to call you all in for a thorough debriefing."

Naruto wrapped an arm around Hinata and tugged her closer. "Hey, haven't you heard of the healing power of love?"

Sarutobi quirked an eye at the boy. "And haven't you heard of the wrath a father will show towards a boy courting his daughter?"

Naruto bobbed his head. "Yes, Hokage-sama, I have. But Hiashi's so focused on his younger daughter that Hinata could sneak up and-"

'_Stab him in the back of the head_,' he carefully didn't say.

"-make out with her boyfriend in public without him even aware she existed."

"Hmm, is that so," he said, rubbing his beard thoughtfully. "Well, anyway, I'm not up here to chastise you about being affectionate, I actually find it rather encouraging. However, civilians are not allowed up here."

Naruto blinked.

The Hokage pulled a pair of carefully wrapped objects from somewhere in his robes. "This," he said, holding one up, "is a replacement for the hitai-ate you lost on your last mission, Naruto." He handed the wrapped forehead protector to Naruto, who lost no time unwrapping the cloth to reveal the polished metal surface and engraved leaf.

Solemnly, Naruto tied it around his head, adjusting it so it fit comfortably on his forehead. He smiled. "Thank you, Hokage-sama."

"And this," Sarutobi said again, holding up the other forehead protector, "is a very special hitai-ate for you, young Hinata Hyuga."

Hinata moved her head slightly, acknowledging his words, but unable to see it.

He smiled at her. "I finished early, and there's no sense in delaying until tomorrow. Go ahead and take off your bandages and seal."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," she said automatically, her hand reaching for the layers of cloth over her temple. Her fingers brushed it from the bottom up, and the cloth parted as neatly as if she'd sliced it with the sharpest blade.

Naruto and Sarutobi both stared at the blotchy red scar tissue that surrounded each eye, a visible reminder that she'd made her own veins explode from within. Were it not for the fact that shinobi healed quickly, especially when influenced by powerful medical jutsu, she wouldn't have been able to take her bandages off so soon.

Suddenly she swayed on her feet, held almost instantly steady by Naruto. She blinked her pale eyes reflexively, an old genetic reflex from her human ancestors who didn't possess the byakugan. Nothing cut off the sudden influx of visual stimuli that flooded her mind, made all the more shocking by having been blind for many days. Naruto, looking as confident and healthy as he always did, but in different clothes. The Hokage, old, but still hale. Four ANBU personal guards of the Hokage hidden around them, one by a genjutsu, the others at more of a distance, one of them was even a branch Hyuga. Still, it took only a minute before she shook her head slightly and focused on the hitai-ate in the Hokage's hand, seeing easily past the cloth wrapping. The metal of the forehead protector was easy to spot, however. It was like a black wall.

"Hokage-sama!" she gasped. "The hitai-ate, it-"

"You can't see through it, right?" he replied, eyes twinkling in amusement as he handed it to her.

She quickly unwrapped it, staring in astonishment at the strange metal in one hand as she put the other on Naruto's shoulder. "It's… solid black."

Naruto eyed the perfectly normal looking polished metal and turned back to the Hokage. "It's got a seal on it?" he guessed. "Hinata, to me, it looks exactly like a regular one." Her slight pressure on his shoulder, a rythmic, repeated twitch of her finger told him all he needed to know about how many ANBU were also present, and their positions. He hid his relief at having Hinata's ability to see everything around them back, surprised at himself and how much he'd relied on that.

"That's right, Naruto. Your sensei, Hatake-san was actually the one to give me the idea. Hinata's problem is very similar to what he had to deal with when he first got that sharingan eye, and the solution turned out to be much the same. All you have to do, Hinata-chan, is put it on over your eyes, and it will instantly cut off your sight, conserving your chakra. But when you really do need to see…" He let them finish the statement in their own minds.

Carefully, Hinata tied the forehead protector around her forehead, making sure it was secure, but not too tight. The cloth felt slightly strange as she tied it, stretchier somehow, as if it had elastic fibers woven through it.

"It feels strange," she commented quietly. "I've never worn a hitai-ate on my forehead. That's for branch members." Experimentally, she pulled it down over her eyes, and was immediately blinded, feeling the flow of chakra to her eyes cut off at the same moment. She pushed it back up, relieved that her sight came back just as quickly, and didn't disorient her nearly as much. She smiled. "It works, Hokage-sama. Thank you. I was never in doubt."

He nodded. "You're welcome, Hinata-chan. I am sorry that the mission has left you in such a state. It cannot be convienent for you to only have the choice between blindness and your bloodline limit." He sighed. "And there is another drawback you might want to consider as well. The seals on the hitai-ate are worked into the metal of the back of it, then covered with another thin plate, then the leather and cloth, so an enemy won't be able to easily tell that it is different. But I would advise that you do not let enemies know of its abilities, or allow it to fall into their hands. The seals that can prevent your clan from seeing through an object are a very closely guarded secret of Konoha. I entrust them to you."

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

By the serious expression on her face, that cold eyed assurance usually possessed by battle hardened jounin, he had absolutely no doubt that she would not let him down.

"Come, we will return to the hospital to give your teammate his replacement hitai-ate."

Nodding, they followed their leader.

o/

Their official debriefing took place at the hospital, where Sasuke had been given his own replacement forehead protector, and the Hokage had commended them on their performance, and announced that, in light of the circumstances, not only would they be credited with completion, according to the strict letter of the contract, of the C rank mission they had been sent on, they would also be given credit for completion of an A rank mission a jounin team had already been assigned to that they had inadvertantly stumbled upon. The pay for the A rank was, in essence, a bonus to reflect the hardships they had gone through. There was a separate bonus to allow them to replace the clothes and equipment they had lost over the course of the mission.

It wasn't the first time an entire team had made it back to Konoha completely naked, though Sasuke's mad streak through the village with a teammate over each shoulder did mark it as one of the most talked about.

Sasuke managed to have the grace not to blush.

He also informed them that Kakashi had sent a report in via nin dog, and, although the details were classified, he had inquired about their condition and wished them well, which brought cautious nods of acceptance from the genin.

The debriefing was surprisingly brief, although the Hokage assured them that this was a special case, given that there had already been a jounin team assigned to the mission, who were handling the mop up and finding answers to questions that the three of them didn't have clearance to even know existed.

However, if they felt they needed to work through some of the events, someone would be made available to talk to them.

Hinata, having already met a designated compassionate 'shoulder to cry on', who she sent from her room with a few cold words, frowned.

The Hokage smiled compassionately at them. "It's perfectly understandable that you wouldn't want to talk about the mission with just anyone, so remember that you're a team. The three of you support each other so none of you have to do it alone. If nothing else, you should realize the value of helping each other out, and letting yourself be helped in turn."

Hinata found herself nodding, her hand finding its way into Naruto's, who gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"A temporary jounin sensei will be found for you until Hatake returns, so don't worry. Now, I want you all to take it easy, and listen to your doctor's orders." He waggled a mock admonishing finger at them. "So no sneaky slipping out of the hospital when no one is looking."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," they replied dutifully.

After he left, Sasuke turned to the others with a rebellious expression on his face.

"As soon as it gets dark, I'm gone. No offense, but I'd like to be alone for a while." His simple declaration delivered, he turned and walked out of the room.

Naruto blinked, then looked at Hinata. "Did he just say he was going to go masturbate?"

o/

"You can go in now, Naruto," the wild haired guard said quietly, opening one of the thick wooden doors to the Hokage's office.

Naruto slipped in silently, feeling the door close behind him.

"Hokage-sama," he began, bowing respectfully. "Thank you for agreeing to this meeting."

"Ah, Naruto, you should try to relax a little," he gently chided. "I suspected you would have quite a few questions, given the nature of what you've learned. Ordinarily, I would leave it up to your jounin-sensei to explain, although I can see the necessity here. However, I was rather surprised to get your additional note this afternoon requesting a private meeting. Do you really feel that it is in Sasuke-kun's best interest to be left out of the loop?"

Naruto sighed. "Not exactly. I intend to tell him what I learn, it's just…" He trailed off for a moment. "I've learned some about his personality since we've been teammates, and I think it'd be easiest for everyone concerned if Kakashi-sensei or I are the ones to tell him things. He's kind of prickly and just does not want to ask questions or talk to people at all."

Sarutobi raised one eyebrow. "Prickly, huh?"

Naruto grimaced. "Like a caltrop."

"So you seek to carefully control those points."

Naruto schooled his emotions. That was exactly what he was trying to do with Sasuke, but he didn't think he should put it quite so blandly to the Hokage. "More like guide them away from potentially injuring Hinata or I. I don't want to do anything to lose what trust I've gained from him, so I'm not trying to hide anything from him, but previous experience has shown that I have to be careful in how I tell him things."

"Hmm. Do you believe he could be dangerous to you or Hinata?"

Naruto blinked, his expression lightening into barely concealed humor. "Hokage-sama, Sasuke is dangerous to everyone he chooses to. He has the skill and the attitude, which is obvious to everyone around him."

"Even to his friends?" Sarutobi pressed.

"Probably," Naruto admitted. "I don't think he really has any, though Hinata and I have tried. Admittedly, he does seem friendlier now, probably a result of us all nearly dying. It was after I talked to him in the hospital that I requested this private meeting, but it's not about Sasuke." He paused. "It's about something I did during the mission."

Sarutobi clasped his hands and leaned forward across his desk slightly, studying the boy before him. Naruto was one of the most coldly logical genin he'd ever seen, reminding him, actually, of a young Hatake. Due to the circumstances, he'd wound up talking to the boy fairly often over the course of his short life, and had always been impressed by his poise and intelligence, which would have been more suited on someone many times his age. Usually, Naruto approached conversations as if he were assaulting an enemy fortification, always seeking to learn without giving away information in return. Now, however, in the wake of the near disaster, he seemed a good bit less sure of himself, more like a normal boy. Cautiously, he considered that a good thing. "You had to kill a number of people, according to the report."

Naruto nodded. "Enemies, Hokage-sama. Even Sasuke killed for the first time, it was literally us versus them. He did not flinch, and it was not Hinata's nor my first time."

He nodded. Even genin had to kill sometimes, and it was actually a job description for higher ranks. It was almost a relief to not have to help the boy through the moments of recrimination and doubt most genin went through after their first kill. On the other hand, dealing with Naruto was looking at the other slippery slope, where killing got too easy, too reflexive.

"No, the question I have is about a technique I employed. The head priest of the Shichibi attempted to sacrifice all of us to power summoning rituals. In order to free ourselves and defeat our enemies, I gave some of my chakra to Hinata and Sasuke."

Sarutobi frowned in concern. "You gave them some of your chakra?" he said, his voice heavy with worry. "_How?_"

Naruto grimaced. "That's sort of my problem. I'm not sure. I remember wanting to help them, since they were both badly injured, and I could feel them calling to me." He dropped his voice lower. "Their _blood _was calling me, reaching out to me. I could sense it. It gave me a rush of energy like I'd never felt before, and I healed my own wounds in a second." He paused, a small smile twisting his lips. "Then I gave power back."

"Naruto, that's very…"

"Interesting?" Naruto responded quickly. "I didn't know I could do that. I didn't know that was even possible. I especially didn't know how good it would feel, the connection I had with the two of them."

"Actually, I was going to say 'worrisome'," Sarutobi countered frankly. "I wish you had told me about it earlier. I assume this had something to do with Sasuke-kun's eyes bleeding, or Hinata-kun making her own choushijiro burst?"

Naruto winced. "Yes. I was a little… caught up in the moment. I think I gave them too much chakra." He brightened. "But it worked. They healed their own wounds in minutes, though Hinata-chan still has scars. And they didn't have any problems at first. Hinata said it wasn't until they were fighting the shoggoth and she tried to look at it too hard that her veins popped."

The Hokage winced. "Yes, well, I suppose that might have something to do with it. Things like that shouldn't be looked at lightly."

"Yeah, no kidding," Naruto said bitterly. "She couldn't even see it at first, like her eyes wouldn't let her. Sasuke and I didn't have exactly the same problem, but all things considered, if I could have avoided looking at it, I would have." He paused, and his expression darkened. "Why weren't we told about things like that?" he asked, his voice husky with anger.

Sarutobi sighed, having expected that question to be the entire reason Naruto wanted to see him. "We let some things stay as legends because most people can not handle the truth."

"Most people?" Naruto replied, indignant. "We're shinobi! We've been raised to be shinobi all our lives! We needed to know about things like that! As it was, the only regular attacks it even noticed were a couple of explosive notes and Sasuke's fire jutsu, and that was far from enough to stop it." He shut up all of a sudden and stilled the trembling visible in his limbs. In a more normal voice he added, "You should have seen what it did to Sasuke."

Sarutobi blinked, realizing that Naruto had effectively diverted the attention away from his dangerous decision to somehow share power with his teammates to something he felt he had the moral high ground on. Regretfully, he decided that the outrage Naruto professed was more likely a conversational gambit. "I'm sure I've seen worse," he replied after a moment, deciding to answer the boy.

Naruto blinked.

"Perhaps you were ready to learn about some of the harsher realities of the world, but can you honestly say your classmates would have been? You've already been introduced to some of the horrors life may throw at you. Luckily, your teammates have as well, and together you were strong enough to handle the presence of the shoggoth. But experience has shown that many people, even shinobi, cannot. They are possessed with fear and flee, attack blindly and uselessly, or go insane. Some even kill themselves to escape. When the Kyubi no Kitsune attacked Konoha, the very weight of its malevolent chakra was enough to kill the weaker minded people. And we lost many ninja to madness or worse against it, many skilled, tough shinobi who had faced things as bad as the shoggoth. Of course, you must understand, the Kyubi was far, far worse than any servitor creature such as what you faced, possibly even the most horrible thing that existed considering it is the most powerful of the tailed demons, but that does not mean that lesser creatures are not dangerous. The knowledge that we face such things is something we must protect people from unless they _must_ know it."

Naruto shook his head. "But that's it, it was dumb luck that we survived. If we had known more-"

"You would have what, Naruto?" he asked mildly, cutting off Naruto's affected outrage. "We do not plan for small group engagements or, even worse, _genin_ running into creatures like that because we know that, whatever plans are in place, our shinobi will die," he said frankly, dismissing Naruto's unspoken accusation of oversight. "We educate, we train, we hone. But knowledge is dangerous when applied improperly, and you know that. You've just received an advanced course, as you've been doing for many years now, so be happy you survived it, and do not assume your relative maturity makes you ready for the things we choose to not teach you, a genin with barely a dozen missions on his record, yet. Being different from your peers does not mean the rules governing their development do not apply to you. Gain experience, then we'll talk."

"Yes, Hokage-sama," Naruto replied quietly, nodding his acquiescence, if not agreement, to the Hokage's words.

"There is a reason we make creatures such as that an S rank mission requiring dozens of our most elite ANBU. For three people to defeat one is rare. For three genin, unheard of. But of course, Team Seven isn't like most genin teams, and you especially are not like most genin. The nine tailed fox sealed in you is both an advantage and disadvantage. In this case, it proved the advantage, did it not?" Sarutobi tapped his finger against the desk, wondering how the young prodigy would respond now.

Naruto nodded. "I could feel his rage. That thing… was not one of the creatures that bows to him. He willingly gave me all the power I needed."

"That power came at a price, right?" he pressed, wanting Naruto to realize the danger he was dealing with. "The Kyubi wanted something from you, wanted to influence the world outside the seal. That is why giving some of that power to someone else is so dangerous, it is another way for the Kyubi to have influence. He wanted the shoggoth dead, and he used you to do it."

"_I _wanted to kill it," Naruto replied vehemently. "Not because of the Kyubi, but because it attacked us, because it was a danger to us. There was nothing in that mission we couldn't handle, whatever our relative experience. Only two of the people we ran into could fight near our level, and the bears, while tough, were killable. My team is strong and skilled, we knew we could handle the mission, even given the mess it turned out to be. But that… that _thing_ was something we didn't even know enough about to know we couldn't handle it. We attacked, and we paid for it."

"And that is, actually, the issue," Sarutobi continued. "It is a subtle, but extremely effective technique to give someone what they want, to their detriment and your benefit."

Oh, yes, Naruto knew that well. It was why he would NOT let the Hokage deny his newfound ability to give others part of his chakra. With an ability like that, he'd be able to attract even the most powerful ninja to his banner. As much as he respected the old man… He let the thought die.

The Sandaime shook his head. "Naruto, you're smart, smart enough to partially make up for your lack of experience, and the wisdom that comes along with that. But you're not the smartest person who's ever lived. You're not even the smartest person in Konoha. Our village is a relatively safe place for children to grow up. We have strong ninja to patrol our walls and keep out danger. We want our families and friends to be safe. When you grow up here, you know that you're protected. But a consequence is that sometimes you lose track of what's important."

Naruto's look was clearly questioning.

"Naruto, the most crucial thing in the world is protecting the people important to you," he said, his eyes boring into Naruto's as he attempted to convey the seriousness of the matter. "Friends. Family. Comrades. Underlings and commanders. We have to stick together. It's all too easy for us to lose track of that, and get lost in the little details around us, such as petty slights and imagined hurts. But why do you think we hunt missing nin so hard? Missing nin are scorned by all villages, unless, and this happens incredibly rarely, the traitor knows something valuable enough to make it worth their while to adopt him. But everyone scorns a traitor, they're more likely to do it again, and that hurts the villages in a very real sense. Naruto, as you've witnessed, it's a dangerous world out there. If we do not work together, we'll fall, apart."

Naruto looked surprised. "I know that, Hokage-sama."

Sarutobi shook his head. "You know it because you're intelligent, and you've had some good teachers. But you're only starting to know it where it really matters, deep in your heart. A leader must be logical, true. He must weigh his decisions carefully. But a true leader, one fit to command the respect and loyalty of his people, he must understand that there are some decisions that cannot be left to logic. Konoha is a great power because we know that sometimes you fight for goals, and sometimes you fight because it is _right_. Because you must. Because we know that a shinobi is strongest when fighting to save someone important to him."

Naruto stood in silence, unmoving.

Sarutobi smiled.

"And, I believe you're learning that. It is not a simple lesson, it starts with making friends and continues all your life. It makes me happy, it gives me more _hope_ than you could imagine to see you learning this lesson, Naruto. Tell me. Why did you give chakra to your teammates? Why did you stay and fight the shoggoth when you could have ran?"

Naruto's head dropped forward a fraction of an inch, betraying something of what he felt.

"Because they're mine," he replied quietly.

"'Mine?'" The Hokage repeated.

"Yes, mine," Naruto replied, his voice louder as he raised his head and stared back defiantly. "My teammates. My allies. My friends. They fight for me, I fight for them."

Sarutobi leaned backwards in his chair, smiling. "Thus continues the lesson."

Naruto stared at him for several moments, then closed his hands into fists and bowed deeply.

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

"They wanted you for ANBU, you know," Sarutobi continued after a moment.

"Yes, I suspected," he admitted. "I didn't know at the time, but I've had a lot of time to remember things people said to me." He shrugged ironically. "I especially tend to remember things people wearing masks say to me."

"And that very ability to arrive at accurate conclusions with only a little information is one of the things that would make you such a valuable addition to our ANBU corps. You've got the right attitude, the right potential, and you could easily gain the right skills. ANBU would fit you like a glove, Naruto." He shook his head. "But unfortunately, it would fit you too well. The only people who do well in ANBU long term are those people who have lost a vital component of their humanity. Empathy, Naruto. That willingness to understand both your friends and your enemies. Most ANBU positions require little more from you than the ability to kill, but there is a reason that ANBU does not run Konoha."

Naruto listened attentively.

"Yes, you would do well in ANBU. But I hope to see a great deal more out of you than just another masked killer, so I would not allow you to be approached. You needed to learn to value others, and I'm pleased to see my decision has borne fruit. Tell me, Naruto, do you still have the same ambition you told me of when you were a child?"

He blinked, surprised. "Hokage-sama, I have not mentioned that to anyone since." Well, anyone but Hinata, he amended mentally.

"But you do, correct?" he pressed.

"…Yes."

Sarutobi nodded thoughtfully. "I thought as much. Good. You continue on your present course, learning to not only deal with, but value and respect your comrades and the other people your age. Learn to be a leader, a true leader, and you'll see opportunities unfold before you."

"'Before you do something that is extraordinary in the eyes of the people, the people first have to care'," Naruto quoted.

"Indeed, as I said before," Sarutobi agreed. "But the best way to make them care is not to force them to think a certain way, it's to become valuable to them as a friend or respected fellow ninja. And people don't just respect power, Naruto. People respect someone who treats them with respect and compassion, someone brave and just and inspirational and, for lack of a better word, someone _good_."

Naruto bobbed his head once, decisively. He would take the words to heart.

"Now, about your technique," Sarutobi continued, pulling his pipe out in a move calculated to take some of the seriousness out of the atmosphere. "There are techniques that allow for someone to share chakra. They are usually used with medical jutsu, since one of the most dangerous things that can happen to a ninja is to exhaust all his chakra. We do not make those techniques common knowledge, however, because it usually takes several shinobi to give a useful amount of chakra to someone else. A single person's capacity would be drained to dangerous levels if he were to attempt to perform such a jutsu."

"But I never run out of chakra, Hokage-sama," Naruto replied gently, watching as the old man packed his pipe with fragrant tobacco. "Admittedly, it wasn't until Mizuki told me that I had the Kyubi sealed in me that I understood why, but even as a kid, I knew there was something different about me. I get tired, yes, but not like other people. And I have never, not even partially, run out of chakra. No matter how many times I perform a jutsu, or a meditation technique, or even just sit and let it out through my tenketsu, I never run out. I can see dangers, but I see a lot of benefits in a technique that allows me to share some of my stamina with my teammates."

Sarutobi rubbed his temples tiredly and took a pull on the pipe, letting the pungent smoke go deep in his lungs. Of course, Naruto was right. Such a technique would be incredibly useful, as the limit of chakra was the single greatest factor when deciding the power of a shinobi.

"Ah, but Naruto, you've already seen problems with the technique. What if you overloaded the chakra coils of your teammates? It's true, giving them extra chakra would be useful, but you have to understand their limits, and I don't think you do. The average genin often has less than a tenth of the chakra of a jounin, and even a jounin's chakra would be a drop in the bucket to you. You can't just force power like that into someone without expecting a serious, possibly fatal side effect."

He closed his eyes sadly, and nodded. "Yes, Hokage-sama. But I believe we have to do something. Sasuke has already repeated the technique, though exactly how I'm not sure. Although he was elsewhere, he offered me some of his blood while I was unconscious. And it seemed perfectly natural to take it and give him some of my chakra in return."

Naruto quirked his lips at the look of shock that formed on the Hokage's face, his pipe drooping far enough in his fingers to spill a few ashes on his desk.

"Surprised? I'm sure I would have been too, if I'd been awake to think about it. Sasuke's smart, what's more, he's _clever_, and he sometimes puts clues together in ways I miss. He decided that what I'd did was like a summoning contract, like Kakashi-sensei has with his dogs. And apparently what he did was use the same set of seals."

Sarutobi shook his head at the rashness of youth, suddenly feeling the weight of years on his shoulders. The Uchiha scion could have easily fried his coils, or worse. Incautious actions like that went past foolhardy and bordered on the suicidal. "He could have killed himself," he said quietly, all to easily imaging the situation.

Naruto shrugged. "Yeah, probably. But what's important is, _it worked_." He fixed the old man with an appraising look. "Maybe not perfectly, maybe not efficiently, but it worked. And Sasuke loved it. You know of his ambition, right?"

Faintly, the Hokage nodded.

"Yeah, I just found out about it recently, on the mission. He wants to kill his brother. Itachi is powerful, or so I've gathered."

"You have no idea," Sarutobi replied weakly.

"Yeah, I think I have an idea. So Sasuke is consumed by gaining skill and power. Do you think he's going to give up an easy ticket to unlimited chakra? He'd be a fool to. And, I have to admit, Hokage-sama, I don't want to tell him no when he asks. Sasuke has had little enough in life he can rely on. As his teammate, I want to be someone he can." He bored in aggressively, throwing one arm wide in an expansive gesture. "Sasuke's going to keep doing it, even if it's kind of wrong, because it gives him results he wants. What I need your help in is designing a jutsu to do it right, and safely."

Sarutobi shook his head and rubbed his eyes. Naruto was right, of course, if the dangers were minimised, the benefits would be huge.

"Like it or not, what's done is done. Now, Hinata needs access to my chakra to be able to see for a long period of time, since she can't turn of her bloodline limit. Sasuke needs access to my chakra to be able to use the powerful family techniques he has, and he can't turn off his sharingan any more than Hinata can turn off her byakugan." Naruto shrugged ruefully. "Pandora's box is open. It can't be closed, so I need your help in controlling it."

The Hokage sighed again. Naruto, for all he liked the boy, and respected his potential, was, in his own way, as difficult as both Jiraiya, who was brash and reckless, and Orochimaru, who always wanted knowledge before he was ready, put together.

"What do you have in mind?" he asked in a way he hoped was noncommittal. Yet, he knew, just by his asking, Naruto had won.

To his credit, Naruto didn't smile, or otherwise give away the triumph he felt. "Well, there's this big scroll of forbidden jutsu I happen to have read, and while I only learned how to do one technique, there was another one I remember that might be relevant. Since I seem to have turned myself into a summon, I've been thinking of ways for my partners to summon me, or, most importantly, part of me. My chakra."

"You read the entire scroll?" Sarutobi asked incredulously. "And you remember it?"

Naruto nodded. "Ibiki taught me ANBU memory techniques when I was seven."

The Hokage suppressed a groan.

"So," Naruto continued, "since you ARE the 'Professor', master of many jutsu, I was really hoping you could take some time and either yourself or a qualified representative, help me out with these techniques before I accidentally kill myself and a teammate." His tone was actually apologetic, in complete opposite to his threats.

Sarutobi frowned at him, his eyes narrowing. "Are you actually telling me you'd kill yourself or your friends if I don't help you?"

Naruto looked horrified. "NO! No, no, not at all. I honestly believe I could do it myself, the seals aren't THAT complicated. I want help to reduce the risk, because I DON'T want to hurt anyone. But, as we've already agreed, the benefits if it works are huge. I am willing to _risk_ hurting someone since the techniques could prove so valuable." He shrugged apologetically again. "I value them very much, they are my only friends, after all. It took me a while to understand, an embarrassingly long time, if I must admit, to realize how important they are to me. But, I do not believe that another one of the lessons I was taught early is wrong, or even completely conflicts with that one." He smiled, and there was a hit of tooth. "Sometimes, you have to risk something big if you want to gain big."

The Hokage closed his eyes and just breathed, once, twice, a third time. Then he opened them.

Naruto took an involuntary half step back.

"Okay, Naruto," Sarutobi said, deceptively gentle. "You're right. Logically, the benefits of having access to the Kyubi's chakra when we need it is enough reason to risk the lives of a couple of genin, no, even dozens of Konoha shinobi. In fact, logically, the one person we cannot risk is you." He shrugged apologetically, taking a long, measured draw on his pipe, then poking the stem of it at the blond youth.

Naruto repressed a shiver, feeling the killing intent caress him from all sides.

"I'm sorry, Naruto, but I can't let you go on any more missions, you might run into something you can't handle, and then we'd have lost our secret weapon. Instead, we'll set you up with a secure room in ANBU headquarters. Oh, not as a punishment, you see, we'll make it as comfortable as we can. I believe you like ramen?" he asked, quirking an eye at the boy.

Gulping, Naruto nodded.

"Well, then, you'll be allowed ramen every day. Might be kind of boring, but I assure you, as soon as we figure out the seals, we'll have you make a contract with all of our shinobi. You'll be doing more to increase the strength of the village than any other person, isn't that what you said you wanted, Naruto?" he asked, taking another draw on the pipe.

"Not exactly," he admittedly nervously, his eyes flicking to each side. Every sense he possessed was screaming at him, telling him to get away, because there was something he couldn't see that was about to get him.

"Ah, but logically, that's what we should do, right?" he asked, blowing smoke from his nose like an angry dragon.

"I have to admit I'm impressed by your control over your killing intent," Naruto replied instead, twitching visibly as he fought for control. "It's very overwhelming."

His attempt at detached commentary got him nowhere with the most powerful ninja in Konoha.

"_Right_, Naruto?" he pressed. His aura smote Naruto even harder.

"Right," he squeaked.

Sarutobi eased up on his spiritual pressure. "Yes, that would be the _logical_ thing to do. And if you were foolish enough to tell the wrong person about this ability, you'd quickly find that there are a _great many _logical people out there."

He stared at the quivering blond for several long moments.

"Naruto, you are not the first jinchuriki to be created, though, as far as I know, you're the first to have been created with love. When the Kyubi was sealed into you, there were those who wanted to turn you into a living weapon. I said no, because the life of such a weapon is usually brutal, lonely, and short. I wanted better for you. When you killed your first man, there were those who wanted to turn you into a living weapon. I said no again. And when you graduated over the dead body of your former teacher, there were still more that wanted to turn you into a living weapon. I said no yet again."

Naruto jumped slightly as he felt a brush of chakra along the back of his vulnerable neck. His eyes were so wide the whites of his eyes showed like a terrified animal.

Sarutobi sighed tiredly, but the weight of his displeasure didn't let up an inch. "Naruto, I have fought and maneuvered for you, doing my best to prevent you from being turned into nothing more than a tool, a thing to be used by others for their own benefit at the expense of yours. And now, just as you're discovering your inner strength, just as I thought you were learning to value and love your friends, you come in here and say those words to _me_?"

Naruto didn't quite whimper.

"You seek audience with me, you come in here and snipe with your words, attempting to make me feel guilty? Threatening me with the lives of your friends? And the only thing you have to say for yourself is a trite statement oft uttered by those who have no idea of what gambling really means? You call me Hokage-sama, but every word out of your mouth is a disrespect to me, this office, and all of Konoha."

"I'm sorry, Hokage-sama," he whispered.

"What?"

Naruto bowed low, casting his eyes down. He swallowed twice. "I-" His voice broke. In a slightly louder voice he tried again. "I'm sorry, Hokage-sama. I forgot myself and spoke without consideration. It won't happen again. Please accept my humble apologies."

Please. Please. Please.

The Hokage sat there for several long minutes, watching Naruto sweat.

Naruto held his bow, not daring to move.

Sarutobi shook his head and set his pipe down in a display of disgust. "Since you're just out of the hospital after a traumatic mission, I suppose I can overlook this… this insolence. Go. Go beg the forgiveness of your teammates. Treat them as if they were the most valuable things in the world. I will send for you when I decide to see you again. Until then, I don't want you in my sight. _Dis_missed."

Naruto nearly collapsed when the weight of the killer intent suddenly vanished, and he swayed on unsteady legs.

"Yes, Hokage-sama, thank you, Hokage-sama." Bowing repeatedly, he slid backwards, opened the door, and slipped out as if the hounds of hell were after him.

Sarutobi sighed and rubbed his temple, once again feeling the weight of years on him. How many ninja had he dressed down in this very same office since he'd first been made Hokage?

He honestly couldn't remember.

A tall, heavyset man in a black coat faded out of the corner, his genjutsu shimmering out of existence.

Ibiki glanced at the closed door, then at his leader.

"Went easy on him, huh? That boy's been needing an object lesson in humility since right after he made genin."

Sarutobi scrubbed his eyes, then looked at his chief torturer, who's definition of 'easy' didn't always go along with the rest of Konoha. "Yes, well, sometimes the gentle reminders are best. His heart is in the right place, but his mind gets lost sometimes."

Ibiki growled. "I wanted to get my hands on him right after he pulled out that indignant attitude."

The old man chuckled weakly and shook his head. "No, no, don't slap him down too often, nor too hard. He's learning, one day he'll be quite good. These children are the future of Konoha, and one way or another, Naruto will be a big part of that future. He's got too much potential, too much ambition to not be. Our job is to insure that, when he reaches for his ambitions, he's right for them. And when he doesn't reach his ambitions, he doesn't throw it all away in a fit of pique."

Ibiki didn't move, still glaring balefully at the door where his sometime apprentice had fled. "He's a tough nut to crack. I worry that, perhaps, you're not being hard enough on him."

Sarutobi turned to look out the window, watching as the sun set on peaceful Konoha. "When things outside any of our control keep hurting him as hard as they have, how hard on him could I stand to be?"

-

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-


	12. Memories Lie: three

Sunlight streamed in the window, shining brightly on the white styrofoam of a crushed ramen cup. Little crumbs of dried noodles spilt from its split seams, though the glue holding the waxed paper lid on had held surprisingly firm.

A head full of dark hair appeared in the window, looking in.

Sasuke clung to the outside wall of the apartment building with his chakra, looking in cautiously. The window was open about four inches, allowing fresh air to circulate inside, indicating that Naruto had at least gone home once. Flushing the stale air from his own apartment was the first thing Sasuke had done as well.

His eyes had slowed their bleeding that night, though he'd still had to wash his eyes carefully to get them open when he'd woken that morning. He'd run through the forest around the village for hours after he'd left the hospital, and he could still feel a portion of the amazing power he'd summoned lurking deep in his coils, making him walk taller, lighter, stronger. His three white tomoe spun lazily as he scanned the room.

A small low table leaned against one wall, ragged splinters dangling around a hole near one edge. Clothes, dishes, and cooking pans lay scattered about, mixed in with a spill of instant ramen cups from a paper bag overturned on the kitchenette counter. A bowl lay undamaged atop a pile of sodden ramen at the center of a large wet spot in the center of the room, reconstituted vegetables decorating the edge like flotsam washing up on the edge of a lake. Despite the mess, there was no actual sign of a fight, as he could easily guess the path of destruction, starting with spilling the ramen, punching, then kicking the table, then on from there. The rest of the path was harder to read. Unrecognizable scraps of several shredded articles, plus a couple of shirts, were tossed haphazardly around.

At first there was no sign of Naruto, but there was a flash of something out of the corner of his eye, a bit of chakra hanging motionless at the top of a thick comforter piled in one corner. He blinked, and the deep blue of the chakra resolved itself into a hand, slender and graceful and clutching desperately at the blanket, the only part of the body that wasn't covered.

Sasuke had been astonished when he'd first looked in the mirror after he'd drew on Naruto's power. He still had the mature, three tomoe sharingan, yes, but before he'd performed the summoning, his tomoe were black, just like they were supposed to be. But now, now they were white. And he could do something he couldn't before. The sharingan gave him the ability to predict and copy motions and techniques, and also to see through and understand illusions. Now…

He could see chakra.

He'd tried to use it like Hinata, to see through walls, or expand his field of vision, or to see deep into someone's body, but it didn't seem to work like that. It was just like his regular vision, except now, he could see the insubstantial. But Sasuke didn't mind the limitations.

Naruto had given him a power he was sure his brother didn't have.

For several long minutes he hung off the side of the building, wavering in indecision. Hinata had asked him to find Naruto. He'd found Naruto. Naruto apparently wanted to be alone, he wanted to respect that. But something was wrong. Hinata trusted him to take care of any problems, but you did not intrude on someone's weakness.

Suddenly wings were flapping against his head, and there was a sharp, painful tug. Nearly falling off the side of the building in shock, he waved his hand madly over his head. "Wha-getoffameyoufuckingbird!" he cursed indignantly, shaking his head and twisting, trying to see the infernal flying rat.

Despite his efforts, his fingers never so much as brushed the feathers of the incredibly agile bird. It was a very stealthy bird, too, gliding in on noiseless wings to steal a quick mating with the gorgeous glossy black female that, for some strange reason, insisted on riding around on the head of one of the small humans.

The pigeon back winged in midair, hovering briefly as it decided whether the sweet, sweet loving was worth the risk of being in close proximity to the human, and Sasuke snarled in rage as he slipped a shuriken out of a hidden pouch and prepared to commit avicide.

He watched carefully for a moment as the pigeon hovered, a move the normally lazy fliers rarely performed. He could see each beat of its wings before it happened, able to tell its next move from the stressing of its feathers and the tension in its wings. The prediction ability of his genetic gift was actually the most deadly of all its possible uses, and he used it to the fullest, throwing the shuriken in one smooth motion at the exact spot the pigeon's movements said it was going to be.

Suddenly the wing beats quadrupled in speed as the shuriken spun from his fingertips, yanking the bird upwards just as it was about to slip backwards into the path of the weapon, which now sailed harmlessly underneath to bury itself in the side of a building across the street.

Sasuke blinked in astonishment. He'd seen exactly how the pigeon was going to react to the throw, but the speed of its movements was such that he'd been unable to correct his aim in time. The pigeon was fast. Gritting his teeth in rage, he readied three more shuriken as the pigeon cut across a breeze drifting down the street, then flung them with all his speed and accuracy, bracketing the most likely paths of infernal bird's evasive movements as well as its probable next location.

Cooing in alarm, it darted forwards even faster than it had before. Two shuriken buried themselves to the last point in wood, and the third slammed through the glass of a window, followed immediately by a startled scream.

Hurriedly, Sasuke slid the window up in its tracks and slipped inside.

After all, he needed to find out what had happened with Naruto, and you were supposed to take care of your own.

Sasuke deliberately slid his leg across the windowsill, then scuffed his feet slightly on the floor, a courtesy to announce his presence if Naruto was asleep. There were no sounds, no movements from the corner.

Now inside, he could see details that he hadn't before. The ramen had been spilled, but the pool of broth was one sided, as if part of it had landed on something else which had been later removed, then the table had been punched, as if Naruto had been in the process of sitting down at it when he'd fumbled. Several pieces of broken chopstick lay under and around it, probably clenched in the fist that had made the hole. Small drips of water and vegetables made a trail to the kitchen, ending at the sink, where Naruto had probably washed off some of the scalding broth. Probably the grocery bag had been knocked over then, and Naruto had later stepped on one of the cups.

He picked his way across the room to the corner where Naruto sat, avoiding the clothes on the floor.

Cautiously, kneeling on one knee beside the comforter, he spoke. "Naruto?"

Still, he got no answer.

Carefully, he lifted the topmost corner of the thick blanket and peeled it back, revealing a shaggy mop of blonde hair, the same shade as Naruto's, but longer, done up in two deliberately cutesy pigtails.

Ah. _Naruko._

Her face was buried in the comforter covering her knees, her legs drawn up to her chest, one arm apparently around her shin, the other higher, clutching the blanket she'd wrapped around herself.

He hesitated.

"Hey," he said, this time more softly, reaching to touch his now female teammate on the arm. "Naru… ko?"

She didn't look up, but she did shift slightly, squeezing her knees tighter to her chest. Something that might have been a whine, might have been a sob, choked off, emerged from her throat.

_Fuck._

Scowling in irritation, he twisted and sat beside her, his back to the wall, one leg tucked beneath him and the other knee upright.

The apartment didn't look much better from this angle, since the cheery beam of sunlight threw the obvious signs of misplaced rage into stark relief.

Sitting so close to Naruko let him focus on her, though. Little signs he'd missed across the room, like the slow movements of her breathing, which were regularly interrupted by the tiniest of hitches, or the infinitesimal clenching of her one visible hand.

Apparently, she was crying.

Such weakness was disgraceful, but, he also had to admit to himself, it also slightly scared him. This was _Naruto_. Naruto mocked his enemies' corpses, Naruto didn't flinch under the knife, Naruto faced down… Sasuke shook his head, shying away from the memory. What could make him cry?

But, he realized, sitting there, watching in morbid fascination as his teammate and fri… teammate huddled in the corner in abject misery, this wasn't exactly Naruto.

"I'm sorry, Sasuke," she whispered into her knees, her normally breathy voice laced with pain.

"Sorry about what, Naruko?" he asked, looking away.

She shifted slightly and looked up, tearstained cheeks and dark circles framing her deep blue eyes.

"…everything."

"Taking credit for everything is a bit self centered," he said, forcing his tone to be light.

"Mnnnnn," she whined, burying her face back in her knees.

Sasuke closed his eyes in recrimination. Damnit. He tried again.

"You just need to be a little more specific. If you're the one who made them quit making tamarind flavored pocky, let me know now, and I'll make your death painless. Otherwise, it can't be that bad."

She chuckled twice before it turned into obvious sobs, and it was a moment before she stopped. A very long moment in which Sasuke regretted having intruded on this mess.

"I-I just want to say I'm sorry for being so pathetic," Naruko said shakily. "I'm sorry for some of the things I've said and a lot of the things I've thought, I'm sorry I wasn't… I just wasn't enough. I'm sorry I'm so damned stupid."

Sasuke sat in silence for several moments, considering her words.

"I admit, I'm not sure exactly where you're coming from," he finally said thoughtfully.

"I _know_," she replied, misery in her voice. "And I don't want you to, either."

"Hm."

Naruko let go of the blanket long enough to paw in frustration at her eyes, red from her tears.

"Why?"

She sniffed. "Because you'll hate me. With good reason. And I've put too much time and effort into trying to make you like me, and I don't want you to hate me."

He stared at her until she looked up, guilt in her eyes.

She wavered, fresh tears welling up.

_I thought you were stupid._

_I lied to you._

_I manipulated you._

_I thought about killing you._

_I only wanted you for your power._

_I only pretended to want to be your friend._

_I couldn't save Midori._

_I couldn't protect you._

"I almost killed you," she finally whispered. "And… and everything… I was pr- I was proud of some of it, and I didn't know I was supposed to feel guilty about it all because I'm stupid and… and…" Her pretty face twisted as she started crying again. "And I hate, _hate_ not knowing all this stuff I'm supposed to know."

Sasuke raised one eyebrow. "How-"

Her eyes widened, realizing that she really didn't want to answer some of his potential questions. "Uh… uh, Sasuke, when you used the summoning jutsu… That's not really how that's supposed to be done, I went to the Hokage and I tried to make him show me a better way to do it and that was a really really really stupid thing to do and now he's pissed at me and you and Hinata's eyes are fucked up and its all my fault and I was gonna come up with something on my own and damn the risks cause I didn't really care-"

"Naruko!" Sasuke interrupted, his eyes wide. She was more upset than he'd thought.

Her jaw snapped shut. In a much smaller voice, she said, "I forced my chakra into you."

He just looked at her.

"I forced my chakra into you, and it could have killed you," she repeated meekly. "Just like I did with Hinata. I took my chakra and I rammed it into you and I didn't want to stop because it tasted good, like everything good that's ever happened to me crammed into an instant. I could, I wanted to kill you, to just keep forcing power into you until you popped like a balloon, just because it felt good. And when you did that summoning jutsu it felt good, too, only you're doing it wrong and it's dangerous and the bleeding eyes thing should have given that away but I don't want you to stop and I think I'd do anything if you'd just keep doing it and that scares the hell out of me but I think I'd do it anyway-"

Sasuke stopped her with a hand on her head and she burst into silent tears, burying her face in the comforter over her knees again.

"I'm going to do you a favor," he said seriously. "Stop talking."

Her silent tears changed to sobs, and Sasuke watched, keeping his expression carefully neutral. So this was Naruto stripped of his control. No carefully chosen words, no artful acting, no hidden agenda. Just when he was starting to think he was made of iron, he finally got to see the chink in the armor. Here sat his teammate, the careful plotter, the decisive leader of their team, now a girl crying in the corner.

Part of him wanted to turn away in disgust. Part of him sneered at the display of weakness. Part of him was fascinated by Naruto finally telling the truth. Part of him wanted to exploit that for all it was worth.

But another part, a part he thought he'd thrown away long ago, understood. And he knew what he had to do.

"Naruko," he said finally, rubbing her bare shoulder in an attempt to be comforting. "You know, I think you're actually more messed up than I am." He gave her a wan smile. "It's okay. I've got your back."

Her sobs grew to wails in an instant and she latched onto his arm, abandoning the blanket as she fell forward and sideways, clutching at the comfort of his arm.

Sasuke's eyes widened at the sudden burst of movement, and he nearly pulled away…

But…

Awkwardly, he sat there as she clung to his arm and cried, messy, no holds barred crying with sobbing and hiccupping and tears and snot and drool that she was getting on his shirt and his _arm_, but he still didn't pull away as she curled her legs beneath her to one side and clutched at his shirt.

She was naked, he realized, because his arm was pressed to bare flesh between her breasts and he could see down the curve of her back to her butt and she _wasn't wearing any clothing_, but he kept as stoic an expression as possible considering his _naked teammate_ was bawling her eyes out against his side. It didn't make any sense, he'd fought a climactic battle then ran through the woods to Konoha at full speed carrying both Hinata and Naruto while they were all naked, but even as he tried to reason away his embarrassment he finally had to just give up on it all altogether and kind of pet his friend's blonde hair while he waited for her to calm down.

And she did calm down after a while, snuffling and wiping her nose with the back of her arm, but Naruko didn't pull away, still holding onto his arm desperately.

"Why?" he asked.

"Why what?" she asked back after a moment, her usually sweet voice raw from her sobs.

"Why did you want me to like you?"

"Because…" She hesitated, looking down. But... he deserved to know the truth. "Because you were the best student at the Academy. Because you were a genius from a powerful clan. Because everyone liked you." She hesitated again, and looked up. "Because you didn't seem to like anyone. Because no one liked me."

He'd started to frown as she talked, but finally found himself staring down at her upturned face in confusion.

She sighed, looking away.

"Lots of reasons, Sasuke. When I was still pretending to be an idiot at the Academy, I hated you. I was just as good as you were, but you flaunted it in everyone's faces, and they loved you for it. They scorned me for being an idiot, but they really hated me when I was smart. And then we got put on the same team and I got to know you. I'm a better killer, you're a better fighter. People believe me, people trust you. I want to lead people. People want to follow you."

She shrugged wryly, and he did his best to ignore what that felt like around his arm.

"You saved me and Hinata despite being hurt yourself. You ran all the way back to Konoha carrying us, naked, ignoring everyone who saw, and you didn't stop until the job was done even though you nearly died of chakra depletion. You woke me out of a coma."

Sasuke smirked at her. "I overheard a rumor that they're trying to make 'Naked Sasuke Day' a holiday."

Naruko snorted laughter. "And here you are, ignoring the snot on your arm, making me feel better."

She sighed and rubbed at his arm, he brushed her hand away and wiped at it himself with the hem of his shirt.

"You're even a better friend than I am. So, no, don't ask me why I wanted you to like me."

He shrugged, feeling magnanimous. "I'm better looking, too, but don't sell yourself short. You're a better liar than I am, and you have better hair."

Abruptly, her pensive face turned into a pout, her bottom lip protruding cutely. "That's the kind of crap I'm talking about. You're too good to be true. I call bullshit."

He blinked, surprised. "Huh?"

"I call bullshit on you! No one real is so damned… you! Either you're hiding something huge, or you're a great… big… fake!" Naruko said accusingly, poking him with her finger with each word.

"Hn. My innate superiority is often hard for others to accept."

"Oooohhh yeah," she said, touching her lips with her finger. "I'd forgot about the whole 'you're a complete asshole' part."

"Get off me," he growled, pushing her and her giggles away as he stood and put some space between them.

Naruko continued to giggle for several more moments, her blue eyes bright with merriment and unshed tears. She leaned against the wall, her legs still folded to one side, which preserved some modesty, but she made no effort to cover herself.

He gave her an exasperated look. "Why are you naked, anyway?"

She pressed one finger to her lips and cocked her head cutely, managing to look both thoughtful and vapid at the same time. "Ummm… Because I'm totally hot like this?"

He narrowed his eyes.

She held her hands out as if to ward him off, squeezing her breasts together enticingly. "Fine, fine." She sighed. "I spilled ramen all over myself and was taking off my clothes and…" she waved her hand vaguely, indicating the scraps of cloth and the general mayhem. "I was going to put on something else, but kinda didn't get around to it."

"Hn." That would explain it.

"So why'd you come looking for me?" Naruko asked.

Sasuke shrugged. "Hinata asked me to."

"Ah. She still at the hospital?"

"No, some of her cousins came and took her back home. She sent a kage bunshin to ask me to look for you, something about not being able to keep one going for more than thirty minutes."

Okay, that was a tiny fib, she'd actually said ten minutes, but he was curious if Naruko would react to the much longer time.

She did react, but not how Sasuke expected.

"_Her family came and got her_?" Naruko cried, jumping to her feet.

Sasuke winced. Damn the sharingan for copying movement perfectly. That was a sight he was literally never going to be able to forget. Naruko, leaping up, her adult sized breasts sagging with inertia, making her pink nipples point at the floor, then rebounding healthily so they actually, briefly, pointed at the ceiling, round hips, golden downy fuzz, her pale, perfect skin flushed with emotion. Naruko had a body clearly meant for mid to late teens. None of the academy girls were that… gifted… even Hinata.

"What the fuck, Sasuke! Do you have any idea what her family might do to her now that she has her eyes sealed?! We've got to protect her!"

Naruko, leaping up, her adult sized breasts sagging with inertia, making her pink nipples point at the floor, then rebounding healthily so they actually, briefly, pointed at the ceiling, round hips, golden downy fuzz, her pale, perfect skin flushed with excitement...

"Her position as future clan leader was already shaky, and now it's really in doubt, and she can't even see at all unless she takes off the hitai-ate! They want to put a seal on her and move her to the branch family!"

…leaping up, her adult sized breasts sagging with inertia, making her pink nipples point at the floor, then rebounding healthily so they actually, briefly, pointed at the ceiling, round hips, golden downy fuzz…

"Damn it, Sasuke! You should have kept your eye on her, not me! Sasuke! SASUKE! Damn it, are you even listening to me?!"

Oh, yeah. Naruko was upset about something. He should probably listen, since she seemed to think it was important.

"Yeah, I'm-

_-breasts rebounding-_

"-listening. Look, I don't know what kind of seal they're using-"

_-golden, downy hair-_

"-but they can't do it in five minutes, Naruko. With the seals on her at the hospital-"

-_Naruko was naked_-

"-plus her byakugan permanently active-"

-_naked, flushed, blonde jiggling in anxiety right before him_-

"-they're not going to seal her until they figure out what the side effects might be, right? Right."

Nodding in self satisfaction, he crossed his arms and let the superiority of his logic stand on its own.

-_jiggling breasts_-

Naruko gaped at him in silence for a moment, her jaw working, but no sounds coming out. Finally, she sighed, and that made some interesting additional movements as well.

"Alright, Sasuke, you're probably right. But still. Hinata doesn't like being with her family much, so we need to go rescue her. Carry her shopping or something. I'm pretty sure we all need gear and weapons, and it's probably a good enough reason her family won't stop us."

Sasuke frowned. Girls, shopping. He'd never been with them, but he'd heard stories. On the other hand-

-_naked, flushed, blonde-_

-these were his teammates, and they tended to care more about killing enemies than personal appearance, so maybe it'd be alright.

"Okay, it's one plan," he allowed.

Naruko nodded decisively. "Right. We should get going."

Sasuke raised one eyebrow. "You're the naked one."

Naruko blinked, then looked down at her own bare breasts. "…point. Okay. I should get dressed."

Sasuke almost closed his eyes when Naruko started rooting through her clothes and putting them on.

Almost.

But hell, it was just his teammate. Not like he hadn't seen her naked before. But…

"You're going as a girl?" he finally asked, nudging a subdued orange t-shirt with the toe of his ninja shoes.

Naruko paused, pulling a pair of her usual orange jumpsuit pants on, her top still gloriously bare. "…oh, yeah. I'd forgot." She shaped a seal, and Naruko faded into Naruto in a few seconds, losing some height and her curves, but ending up stockier and more solid looking. He was shorter, the shortest in the class, but Naruto was also one of the most solidly built, with well defined muscles speaking of considerable strength. No wonder he usually wore such baggy clothes, anyone who saw exactly how toned he was would immediately consider him a threat.

Sasuke flicked the shirt at him with a swift twitch of his foot.

Naruto caught it and put it on. "Alright. We should go." He hesitated, looking at the floor, the looking back up at Sasuke, who stared at him evenly.

"Sasuke?"

"Hm?"

"Thanks."

Sasuke shrugged, as if it didn't really matter. "I watched you stab an acolyte in the back without him ever knowing you were there. Then you cut out his liver, dropped it on an altar, and jokingly called him an organ donor while you hid the body. Don't worry about your dignity with me."

Naruto nodded once, meeting Sasuke's eyes.

Respect.

Finally, he looked around one last time.

"Hold on a second, I need to clean up this mess," he said, forming a different seal and making a kage bunshin.

The clone popped into existence to one side and looked around. A mischievous look crossed over its face, and the clone quickly transformed into Naruko, complete with a kimono, a frilly apron, and a rugbeater. She started 'cleaning up', really, deliberately bending over and displaying her posterior to Sasuke as she picked up clothes.

"You are a sick man, Naruto," Sasuke commented, walking over and looking out the window. A middle aged woman was out there, washing the sidewalk.

"Yeah, but I have nicer breasts than you," he replied with a grin as they left the apartment and walked down the stairs.

"But I have a nicer ass."

"No way!" Naruto cried vehemently. "Did you even bother looking at my ass in that kimono? It's round and tight and perfectly heart shaped! It's all I can do to keep from molesting myself! Sure, I'd protest at first, but I know I'd want it."

"…you're a sick man, Naruto," Sasuke repeated after a moment. "But I do so have a nicer ass than you, and I can prove it. Let's ask the first person we see, that'd be fair, right?"

"Fine!" Naruto replied.

A moment later, they exited the front of the building, right across the street from where the woman was dipping water out of a bucket with a ladle and wetting the sidewalk.

"…Damn it, Sasuke," Naruto said tiredly.

Sasuke just smirked.

-_tits_-

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

"Yeah, Shino isn't so bad. Once you get past the bugs deal, he's actually a great teammate." Sakura waved her had vaguely.

Since their respective jounin teachers seemed to enjoy spending an inordinate amount of time together, their schedules were synchronized more often than not. And since neither one of them were making any progress in getting into Sasuke's pants, their oft stated rivalry had largely subsided. Best friends forever! they would loudly proclaim, each one knowing full well that forever lasted until one of them managed to score a date with Sasuke.

"But isn't he like, really quiet? In the academy he hardly said a word. I'd think he'd be kind of boring as a teammate."

Sakura smirked. "Yeah, he's quiet, but he's really smart. He acts all logical, so you'd think he wouldn't have a sense of humor, but you can't just assume that. I swear, he takes delight in messing with Kiba's head."

Ino smirked. "And Kiba falls for it."

"Every single time," she confirmed. "And then he turns around and plays a practical joke on Shino, and the next thing I know, I've got to step in to keep them from killing each other. Honestly. _Boys._ Kurenai-sensei says that it's good training for me as a kunoichi."

Ino shrugged. "Yeah, it's a lot like that on my team, except completely the opposite. Shikamaru and Chouji NEVER fight. So instead of stopping them, I have to get them moving. At least they've learned to listen, and I get more time with Asuma-sensei when they're lounging around. My taijutsu is really improving."

"I guess that's good." Inwardly, Sakura grumbled to herself. Ino was already strong as hell in taijutsu, and could beat her nine times out of ten. At least she wasn't skilled enough in seals to throw off Sakura's best genjutsu.

"Oooooh, Sasuke-kun," Ino said abruptly.

Sakura's head snapped up.

Two boys were running towards them, not a full blown run, but the casual lope of someone too impatient to walk. Blond hair as pale as Ino's caught her eye, and with a start she realized that it was Naruto running right beside, and a little in front of, Sasuke. He wore his usual pants, but his customary jacket was missing, and instead he wore a tight shirt the color of an unripe orange, which was much easier on the eyes than his usual shade. More astonishing was that the shirt clung to him like paint, revealing muscles larger and more defined than any she'd seen in the academy. Naruto was short, noticeably shorter than Sasuke, but he was broader through the shoulders, like he spent serious time lifting weights. Gone was the goofy, silly look on his face he'd worn throughout school, instead he looked serious and confident.

Of course, Naruto paled beside the perfection of Sasuke's tall dark form. He wore shorts and a dark, loose shirt, which was sort of disappointing. He had the lean, whipcord body of the ideal ninja, loose limbed and quick as a mongoose, but she'd only gotten a good look of his bare body from the rear, and, except for his ass, only a sliver of his back through the gap in the hospital gown. Sakura desperately wanted to see more.

"Oh, hey, Sakura, Ino," Naruto said with a casual wave, slowing to a stop beside them. Sasuke stopped as well with a slightly sour expression on his face. "Missions this morning? And how's the training coming?"

"Good!" Sakura blurted out. "I learned two genjutsu!"

"Asuma-sensei has helped with my taijutsu. Forehead girl here doesn't stand a chance in hell against me these days," Ino quickly added, not about to be outdone by her rival. "We're on our way to team meetings, what about you guys? Are you recovered yet?"

"Mostly recovered, but we're on leave right now," Naruto replied easily, flashing a couple of hand signs at Sasuke fast enough they couldn't make them out.

_Encourage them to train._

Sasuke sighed, as if he was being put upon.

"It looks like it'll just be training for us for a while, unless they find some missions we can take without a jounin sensei. But that's okay, right? Training is important. Right, Sasuke?" Butter wouldn't have melted in Naruto's mouth.

Sasuke rolled his eyes and finally relented. "Yes, you'll never be worth anything unless you train hard and get powerful. You can do it, I believe in you, and all that."

From the tone of his voice, it was abundantly clear that Sasuke did NOT believe in them, nor did he think they could ever be worth anything.

"Thanks, Sasuke!" Ino cried, overjoyed at his encouragement. "I'll work hard and I'll show you what a Yamanaka can do!"

Sakura hesitated, not as willing to accept his words at face value as Ino was.

Naruto clapped a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, where it was quickly brushed off. "Oh, don't mind him. He's just still grumpy because of the whole nearly dying thing and Hinata getting hurt really bad, so he's worried about her. You know, she really improved a lot and fought hard on our last mission. Saved our lives, even. I've never seen a girl kill a chunin level fighter that fast, while injured, even."

Again, Sasuke rolled his eyes at Naruto's antics. That guy was hardly a chunin. Hell, he wasn't even a ninja, even if he could do that thing with the ichor and the ball lightning.

"Yes, we should go see Hinata," he prodded.

_Let's go, Naruto._

"I-" whatever he was about to say was quickly shut off by Sakura's shout.

"Incoming!"

Three genin scattered, leaving a disappointed pigeon to loop quickly through the air and retreat. Sakura didn't move, knowing what the 'threat', or lack thereof, was, and Ino was too startled to do anything but get out of the way. Two shuriken from Naruto and one from Sasuke, his last one he'd grabbed that morning, flew after the bird. One of Naruto's hit a flowerpot and shattered it with a rain of ceramic shards and dirt. Sasuke's hit a cat lounging in the morning sun, which yowled loudly with its last breath.

"_Damn_ that thing is fast," Naruto said in wonder, tracking the blur through the sky.

"No kidding," Sasuke said bitterly. "That was the fifth shuriken I've thrown at it this morning. That pigeon ain't natural."

"What the hell was that?" Ino demanded. "A bird?"

"Ah… I think it's a descendant of one of Konoha's carrier pigeons," Sakura said hesitantly.

All three looked at her.

"Well, back before the first ninja war, Konoha raised homing pigeons to carry messages, but the problem was they'd get eaten by hawks raised by this clan that lived in Grass and the messages would be intercepted. So people bred them to be faster and smarter, and even use chakra, so they wouldn't get intercepted anymore."

"But we use hawks," Ino replied, confused.

"Yeah, the clan in Grass raised the hawks to keep up with the faster pigeons, so finally the Konoha message corps gave up, killed the people raising the hawks, and brought the birds back here. We've been using them ever since." She preened. They were all staring at her, impressed. She was the top student in the academy in studies, with reason.

"So that one is probably a descendant of those original pigeons. Chakra would explain why it's fast enough we can't hit it at a distance." His pride stung, Naruto didn't want to admit that the infuriating flying rat might be fast enough that he couldn't hit it up close, either. "Well, at least it's not a flying chakra bear. That would really suck."

Sasuke winced, able to imagine a twelve hundred pound flying chakra bear with a deviant interest in his head all too vividly. "Thanks for the warning," Sasuke said to Sakura grudgingly, "but I'd be a lot happier if you'd killed it instead."

Sakura wilted. "I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun, I wasn't thinking. Next time I won't freeze, I promise!" She started mentally reviewing what she knew of the pigeons and where she could find out more.

"No one has told me what the hell is up with the pigeon!?" Ino repeated, half questioning, angry at feeling very left out of the loop.

Glancing at Sasuke, Naruto stepped closer to Ino, leaning close. "You saw how fast that thing is, right? It's a food thief. Sasuke had set some pocky sticks down and it stole one of them. He takes his pocky _very_ seriously."

Ino glanced at Sasuke, who was watching their exchange with a stony face.

"And now, we really must be going," Naruto said with a final wave before breaking into a run, Sasuke right behind him.

Ino looked at Sakura. "…pocky?"

Sakura nodded, completely seriously. "Don't ever steal Sasuke-kun's pocky."

Ino's face crinkled up. "…ooookay…" Then her expression blossomed into a smile. "Was Sasuke hot today or what?"

Sakura pressed her hand to her chest and sagged dramatically against her friend. "Ooooooh, remind me. Remind me."

After several moments they resumed their journey across town, where they would split up to join their respective teams.

"And did you see Naruto? I had no idea he was so… strong looking," Ino added after a moment. "He didn't look as good as Sasuke, naturally, but that shirt really showed off his muscles."

"I wish Sasuke was wearing that shirt," Sakura replied in agreement. "But yeah, I know what you mean. I kinda always thought Naruto was just the class idiot, but some of the things Sasuke and Hinata said in the hospital… I think he's actually really strong. Like how Shino almost never says anything, but is really smart. Or what you were saying about Shikamaru."

"Hinata loves him," Ino added. "And yeah, I think you're right. Sasuke respects him. I don't think I've seen Sasuke impressed by anyone before."

Sakura sighed morosely. "He respected Hinata, too, did you hear the way he was talking about her? She killed a chunin. That's probably why he isn't interested in us. We're not strong like Hinata."

"I kicked her ass once!" Ino reminded Sakura.

"Yeah? And how'd that work out for you? Long term?"

"…shut up, Forehead."

"She was pretty scary in the hospital," Sakura admitted, not rising to the bait. "I mean, the Hyuga are supposed to be really strong, but I always thought I could take her, you know?" she said honestly. "Like you did in the academy. You're better than I am at taijutsu but I AM working on it. But I guess she's been training really hard, too, or something. When Sasuke woke up and went into her room, she was blind and just sitting in a chair, and I don't think she said more than five words to me the whole time, but it was kinda like when Kurenai-sensei gets serious about something. Like she'd kill me in an instant and not think twice."

Ino winced, remembering how fast she'd been pressed against the wall with a scalpel against her temple, and Hinata hadn't even appeared angry. Hell, she was blind at the time. That was sort of humiliating after she got done being scared. "Killed a chunin level ninja, Sasuke said. Well, I'll just train harder, too! I kicked her ass once, I'll do it again, and then Sasuke will respect me!"

Sakura nodded abruptly, finalizing her own mental plans to make Sasuke like her.

They walked in silence, Ino shadowboxing the air as she imagined her training with Asuma, Sakura lost in thought.

"But you know, Ino, I'm really kind of jealous of her," she admitted. "Shino's okay and Kiba isn't anywhere near as bad as I thought, but she gets to be on a team with Naruto and Sasuke. I wish I was on that team."

"You? Hah!" Ino scoffed. "Like they'd ever put you on a team with those two. Not in a million years, Forehead."

Sakura's shoulders slumped. "Yeah, I guess so."

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"Well, hopefully, they won't give us any trouble about taking her out of here. But Hinata's family tends to be a bunch of assholes, so don't count on anything," Naruto said seriously, looking down the road at the offshoot that lead to the Hyuga district.

"Hn."

"Yeah, we'll have to play it by ear. There's too damned many of them and they're too damned powerful for us to take in a fight. I could probably unleash the beast and give both you and Hinata all the power you can stand, and we'd probably still just end up dying together. But the Hyuga respect boldness and power more than they do anything else, so don't act weak or scared. We're young, but we're powerful ninja of this village, and we have to act like it." He clenched his fist, his expression serious. "Still, if they won't let her go… ordinarily, I'd swap a henged clone with her and sneak her out, but the Hyuga tend to be too damned good at figuring that kind of thing out, and I haven't been able to fool Hinata with a henge yet, so I don't want to try it. I guess we'll just have to retreat," he finally admitted reluctantly.

"Hn?"

Naruto winced. "If they're really preparing to seal her eyes permanently because of all this recent crap, we have to stop them, no matter how unlikely it is we'll succeed. If we can, try to give her the chance to prove how strong she is, so they'll make her the heir and not seal her. If we can't…" He shrugged. "They give up their status as potential resources and become enemies." A small, mean smile twisted his lips. "And we know what to do with our enemies."

"_Hn._"

Plans settled, they started walking forward casually, trying to project an air of confident purpose but at the same time not be confrontational.

Naruto scratched his chin thoughtfully. "You know, Sasuke, I think that last 'hn' of yours was quite possibly the coolest, most evil nonverbal thing I've ever heard you say."

"I'm glad you think so, Naruto. You know, I actually practice my nonverbal sounds at home for a minimum of at least one hour every night, sometimes using a tape recorder to make sure I get them right. Most people don't really seem to get the subtleties, but it's actually quite heartening that I now have an audience who cares."

"…damnit, Sasuke, you almost gave me a heart attack. You're a freak, you realize this, right?" Naruto complained.

"Hn."

"Stop doing that! You're not allowed to have a better sense of humor than I do!"

"It's okay, Naruto, you can't be best at everything. You underestimate your importance as owner of the best pair of breasts in our age group."

"You suck, Sasuke."

-_tits_-

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They were stopped once as they entered the compound, but once they were determined to be teammates of Hinata they were allowed to progress.

They didn't run into any other Hyuga until they reached the largest house in the district, clearly the home of the clan head. Hinata's father, Hiashi Hyuga, was even outside, apparently standing in deep contemplation of the whitest orchid flower Naruto had ever seen, which was growing from an ornate planter sitting on a stone base.

Hiashi looked up as the two boys approached, both boldly walking up to stop right outside of his immediate range, prudently cautious not only of the jyuken, but also the range he possessed as a fully grown adult. His eyes took in Sasuke, then Naruto, and narrowed dangerously.

"I have heard what happened on your ill fated mission," he stated, an undercurrent of contempt flavoring his words to the two boys who'd failed to protect his daughter. "What are you doing here, _demon_?"

Naruto stared back boldly, unwilling to back down from Hinata's bastard of a father. He was a demon when he needed to be. He had the nine tailed fox sealed in his belly, and he could let part of that power out if he had to. He'd killed before. He'd tortured before. He'd fought and killed a shoggoth single handedly. One white eyed man was _nothing_ before him.

"I've come for your eldest daughter," he growled.

Hiashi stared at him for a moment, his expression unreadable.

"I shall have someone inform Hinata that you are here for her," he replied, and walked away.

The two genin stared after him.

"He's the evil father?" Sasuke asked quietly as soon as he was out of earshot.

"Yeah, what a bastard," Naruto said darkly, tightening the knot of his hitai-ate.

"No, I'm serious," Sasuke continued. "He just let her go without any trouble. This is a problem because…?"

Naruto gave him a look. "How uncaring and heartless do you have to be to send your own daughter out with a deceitful, untrustworthy subhuman _demon_ such as myself who probably has designs on not only her nubile young flesh, but her purity and innocence as well? He's already completely passed Hinata off as heir in his mind, and now he doesn't care what she does. I guarantee that I'd see a lot different reaction if I got within twenty feet of Hanabi, his other daughter and current favorite."

Sasuke blinked. "So you're saying he's a bad father because he lets his girl be around you? Because you're evil and malicious and you're planning on ravishing Hinata?"

Naruto grinned abruptly. And winked at him.

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	13. Memories Lie: four

I've had a lot of time to think, lately.

Since I've been blind.

I've been told by other members of my clan that we Hyuga spend more time looking at things than the other clans do. It makes sense, I suppose, since 'sense' is what it's all about. I would imagine that an Inuzuka would spend more time smelling things than I do, and I have no idea what the Aburame clans feel. With my eyes sealed, it feels like I've been cut off from the world, forcing me to turn inward.

This is a problem, because it means that my chakra centers are out of balance. My head is overpowering my heart. Already my emotions and feelings are muted, distant, and inconsequential. I'm thinking, analyzing, talking to myself in ways I've never done before.

On the surface, an outsider would probably imagine the Hyuga clan to have nothing but self absorbed arrogant ninja with no regard for anyone but themselves, but that's just how we deal with the nature of our worlds. Actually, since we constantly experience the wonder of the world around us as perfect visual input, we tend to spend a lot more time thinking about the outside world than the state of our own mind. Our heart chakra tends to be more developed than average, and our emotions run deep.

We appear cold because, partially, we choose to hide our passions lest they be used against us, but mostly, we're too busy experiencing the world around us to spend much time talking about it. But our emotions are strong, nearly overpowering in some circumstances. Just look at my cousin, Neji, but I suppose, once again, to a non-Hyuga he must appear to be rather distant. When you know what to look for, everything he does screams at the turmoil in his heart.

Chakra is a delicate balancing act. The human body is robust, but remarkably vulnerable to itself. Too much thinking, too much emotion, too much expression, too much of anything, or not enough of the same, and the body will tear itself apart from the inside. Each person must find his or her own harmony, and true enlightenment is reached only when that delicate balance between the centers is reached.

Naruto has reached that balance. It's one of the things that drew me to him.

Really, such things are easy to see for a Hyuga. Let the students in the temples fumble and estimate, while their masters have learned to pray and feel. All I have to do is look.

Naruto understands that the true shinobi must think and feel in equal parts. He empathizes with his enemies to the point he feels what they feel. He thinks like his enemies so he decides what they decide. And when his empathy and his intelligence have worked together so that he becomes his enemy, he destroys them.

Sasuke and I could not do that. Sasuke mind dominated his heart. He has a keen mind and an analytical way of thinking, either a natural consequence of his dojutsu or despite it, and coupled with that dojutsu makes him a formidable opponent in a purely physical battle. I have always been ruled by my heart, and Naruto helped make my heart strong, showed me how to discard the fear that paralyzed it and crippled me as a person.

But now… Now I worry. Because Sasuke is not Sasuke. He smiled at me when I met them that morning, a small, ironic smile, but a genuine smile none the less. Naruto looked at him with warmth and humor and gentle friendship, and at some length, over an okonomiyaki breakfast that Naruto suggested, I got the story of their morning.

I expected satisfaction. After all, Naruto's plan had worked. He had solved the unsolvable. He had cracked the enigma of the Uchiha. We had our ally, our friend.

I expected jealousy. Naruto had someone else to rely on now. And, if the story of his anguish the Hokage had put him through was true, Sasuke had proved to be the kind of ally he needed to shore up his own weaknesses.

I felt… neutral. I thought about what had happened, and compared it to what I knew. Naruto had his weaknesses, and he was always very forthcoming with me about them, a sign of his trust and reliance. I even detected hints of embarrassment as he told his side of the story, baring his mistakes and his emotions to me, but he would not allow himself to waste any more time than necessary on embarrassment or guilt, so he gave me the facts. This is both logical and a sign of love. Naruto counted me as close to his heart as he himself. I needed to know everything possible about him so that I could guard those weaknesses, just as he guarded my own. He did not do things half way.

For Sasuke to have suddenly displayed the empathy and consideration he did, however, aroused my curiosity. I raised my hitai-ate and looked at him carefully.

His chakra was astonishingly erratic, fluctuating wildly, mostly around his heart and throat centers, emotion and expression. Oh, and his eyes. I hadn't missed the white tomoe the first time I saw them, and through the story, Sasuke smugly admitted to his new ability, so like my own, yet smaller and distorted like a reflection in a pool.

While he adjusted to the changes in his body, Sasuke was both unpredictable and vulnerable. Emotions were his weakness before, when his mind dominated, and they were his weakness now that he had rediscovered them. I would have to inform Naruto.

Yet, a careful examination of myself revealed something very similar, yet in reverse. I was dangerously exposed, the harmony I had gained through careful practice with Naruto utterly destroyed. I was just as vulnerable as Sasuke. I would need to correct this.

I found myself being dragged from shop to shop through Konoha, mostly leaving my forehead protector over my eyes and using auditory clues to examine my awareness. My family is well aware that a strength, when removed, can be the worst weakness, so we had developed some useful techniques to compensate for the rare circumstance when our eyes were useless. Some of it involved listening carefully, but mostly it involved our other strength, chakra manipulation.

By wrapping chakra around me, I could 'feel' my surroundings without actually touching. The range was limited by how much chakra I had, and it was far less efficient than using the byakugan, but I could use just enough to get by, whereas my byakugan was in full force every time I unsealed my eyes. About a meter's worth around me kept me from running into things on the rare occasion Naruto, or even Sasuke, _Sasuke!,_ wasn't guiding me by touch.

We stocked up on the common shinobi weapons at one of the armories, and I dutifully checked them all for cracks or other defects in workmanship such mass produced weapons like kunai, senbon, and shuriken would tend to have. Not that I had ever found a defect, but only a fool does not insure a weapon is the best available with every ability at his disposal.

I use few weapons, but I put a brace of kunai and two dozen senbon in a new weapons pouch and strapped it to my thigh. Sasuke did likewise, though he favors shuriken and disdains senbon, where Naruto and his kage bunshin Naruko filled up a pouch apiece with a mixture of everything. He put them both on, one in the center of his back, one to the left of that, in his preferred method.

After that was a more exotic weapons shop where both Naruto and Sasuke spent some of their money on nonstandard equipment. Naruto favors heavy gauge wire, where Sasuke likes to have a lot of the thinnest, most flexible available for his many techniques. Naruto got one new aikuchi style wakizashi in a black lacquered sheath, and put in an order for two more just like it, since, despite the throwing weapons he carries, Naruto is most effective with a blade.

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swish swish

The dried rushes of the acolyte's broom scraped across the sanded granite of the walkway rhythmically, flicking minute amounts of dirt and the occasional leaf off the stone. The daily ritual took him down the steps, and all the way down the path, a journey of several hundred yards. Fortunately, at least from the viewpoint of a lowly acolyte, the path was narrow.

It was a strange ritual. Not that every other temple didn't do essentially the same thing, but I'd never seen another temple that had a public area inside the courtyard where cold hearts and whole livers, black with congealed blood, lay arranged in some sort of butcher's feng shui on low stone tables exactly the right height to bark your shin on in a dark night.

The first time we'd come to the temple, following a small procession of villagers, each carrying a bloody offering to the temple, I'd honestly been glad to see the creepy arrangement.

We'd found the flies.

I won't lie, when Naruto pointed out the lack of insects I'd been worried. Flies swarm to blood. For something to violate that natural fact spoke to me of the most unnatural things my imagination could throw up. Then, though, I'd be glad to find out that the reason none were at the farm was that ALL of them were at the temple. A gigantic, buzzing, black cloud that actually blotted out the sun sometimes. I've never seen so many insects, and I've met several Aburame.

But, at least they were there. That was natural. My fears eased. I had no idea that what we'd see later would take every imagined 'unnatural' thing I'd even imagined and dissolved it in black ichor.

As we watched the young priest sweep the path, though, unnatural things were far from my head. He was just a civilian, a worshiper of an undoubtedly foul religion. This was a clean, simple operation.

I watched carefully from an adequate distance, completely concealed from even thorough eyes by a bush I had curled up beneath. Sasuke was closer, high in a tree. Naruto was the closest, simply waiting patiently behind a bush behind a shadow clone that had already henged into the young priest. Funny to imagine Naruto in a stained brown robe and that ridiculous topknot of hair.

The acolyte drew close, and the clone raced through a series of hand seals. Naruto drew and struck at the base of the clone's head with his wakizashi just as the clone finished the seals. There was a soft burst of chakra…

…and Naruto silently guided what had been a clone onto his shoulder and left the bush near the path, joining us farther in the woods as the acolyte continued sweeping the path with barely a momentary hesitation in his movements that almost instantly disappeared.

Naruto was a big fan of kawarimi. It wasn't quite a shunshuin, but if you used it right, it'd get the job done. The clone had replaced itself with the young man right before Naruto had struck, then took his place at the broom. No one but a highly experienced ninja would have noticed.

Sasuke raised his eyebrow at Naruto when he used the elegant, single edged blade to make three neat cuts in the man's lower back, then pulled out the liver, whole.

"I'm sure he'd have been happy to be an organ donor," Naruto explained with a glint of amusement before he used the hensou to mimic an old man from town. "For him, it's probably like dying in church. And now I'm off to drop something in the collection plate."

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Sasuke had been rather surprised to learn the true extent of Naruto's skill with a blade. Unlike his focus on complex combinations of ninja equipment and taijutsu, Naruto had spent his academy days learning to move silently and kill with a single blow. Naruto probably could kill Sasuke in a fair fight, even if Sasuke's skill made it extremely unlikely that he'd beat him in any other way.

It takes more skill to defeat an opponent and leave him alive than it does to just kill him. But the best way to live long enough to gain that skill is to leave a trail of harmless corpses.

Naruto's words. I'd taken them to heart.

For his part, Sasuke replaced the two extremely large, folding fuuma shuriken he'd used to such devastating effect on the chakra bears.

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The kunai hit the bear's tough brown hide and sunk to the handle right behind the shoulder, probably the one place on the body where it had the least distance to go before it hit something vital.

Its deep, angry growf took on a bass, rumbling timbre and its whole skin twitched around the kunai, but it was like a pin prick to the huge beast.

For something that left prints like it was a cub walking around in mommy's paws, it was a giant, probably weighing at least a ton. A ton of shambling muscle wrapped in skin like a pile of shaggy felt blankets.

Naruto ran forward and slammed a foot against the ring on the end of the kunai's hilt, pushing it to its full depth in the bear's side, right before it turned with deceptive speed and sliced him into six chunks with one swipe of the chakra blades it used as claws. Naruto disappeared with a puff of smoke and chakra, and the bear shambled farther out of the trees.

"We've got another one!" another Naruto called from farther in the swamp. "Taiju kage bunshin no jutsu!"

"Another one!" yet another Naruto called. "Taiju kage bunshin no jutsu!"

I wrapped an explosive note around a kunai handle and waited while Naruto's clones harassed and harried the chakra using bears, throwing dozens of kunai and senbon at the bears faces, mainly targeting the eyes, mouth, and nose. Shuriken he hurled from the rear, doing little real damage but angering and driving the bears on.

Finally, one bumped a stick sticking out of a bush. A large log with a sharpened stake on one end fell from the trees and slammed into the bear's side. Its roar of anger changed to one of pain as it was knocked to one side, and it limped noticeably as it tore the offending log to splinters.

We'd made dozens, nearly a hundred altogether, traps, but they were scattered over a wide area. We'd concentrated them in the swampy area, but it would be foolish to assume that they had to come from the water, so traps actually ringed the fields, watched by the odd clone of Naruto. Even at the swamp, we'd chosen for defense in depth, and, since we weren't sure what would work, there were many of all types. Defense in depth works best against an invading army, and, despite their numbers, the each bear managed to cover a surprisingly large amount of ground before hitting a trap. Some never hit one at all, and the ones that did didn't always run into anything effective against their strength and toughness.

The sharpened stake driven by the force of a falling log worked pretty well. The bear lived, but it was hurt badly, and it actually stopped to lick at its wounds.

No intelligence here, despite the ability to use chakra. One bear ignored a deliberately obvious trap involving four particularly springy saplings and some good twine that fired four metal tipped spikes from four different sides. It roared defiance, but at least one had found a lung, and its muzzle was soon red with bloody froth.

Sasuke had lucked out and was lightly harassing a bear near one of the relatively few traps we'd made based around an exploding tag. A few shuriken in its flesh enraged it, then he casually stood on the other side of the string trigger. It charged, he used a kawarimi, and the explosion engulfed its head.

Astonishingly, it actually remained standing for several long moments, shaking its head slowly back and forth like a horse bothered by a fly, despite the fact that it no longer had eyes nor ears. Slowly, like witnessing the fall of a shogun, it collapsed.

But there were more coming. Even putting out their eyes with senbon did little but enrage them, and a number of Naruto's clones found out that the bear tracked quite well with its smell alone, taking the loss of its eyes in stride.

I hung back to close any gaps, but Sasuke went forward once more, bringing out a clever set of blades that rotated and clicked into place, showing themselves to be the immense curved points of a windmill shuriken. Spinning his body in a deliberate windup to impart maximum speed to the fuuma shuriken, he hurled it at a bear standing on its hind legs, harassed by only three of Naruto's clones.

Surprisingly, it parried the tremendous shuriken with a casual bat of its paw, chakra formed claws protecting it from the keen whirling edges.

The second shuriken hiding in its shadow took the bear in the throat with a nasty gurgle.

The shadow shuriken is a technique developed and proudly owned by Konoha. Doubtlessly at least some other villages have it as well, but I'm told it was ours first.

Sasuke casually pulled on the pair of nearly invisible wires attached to the shuriken and they flew back to him like obedient hunting hawks. He slid to one side and caught them by their center rings, already scanning for a new target.

Naruto had finally managed to put down one of his bears, pounding kunai into its throat and the back of its neck with kamikaze shadow clones. Two others roared and stood on their hind legs to swat at their tormentors like the first, and Sasuke quickly went after one.

One bear ignored everything thrown at it and charged out of the woods, ignoring the spikes in its back and sides and the great bleeding rents in its belly from a concealed lever trap. I hit it with the exploding kunai, and it died three seconds later.

Okay, so I killed one.

With an exploding tag that sprayed loops of intestines over the grass and splattered everyone with blood. It was dead.

So why did it feel like cheating?

Why did I feel vaguely jealous as Sasuke used his clever wire tricks to guide the fuuma shuriken past wildly swinging paws and hit both the standing bears in the throat within seconds of each other?

Was my bear not dead?

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Exploding tags are a perfectly valid way to kill someone, I reflected as I spent some of my own money to purchase three more at a seal master's shop near the Tower. As genin we are allowed to draw one each per month, except in special situations like our last mission. Kakashi-sensei had given us a chit saying we needed special equipment for making traps. Now, however, I drew my one allowed, then bought three more, then added a selection of small flash bombs and smoke bombs to my stocks. So long as I was blind, I supposed I should use the standard tricks of the blind fighter to properly balance a fight. Of course, by 'balance', I mean tilt it in my favor, since all I would have to do is raise my hitai-ate and no smoke or flash would hinder my sight.

Sasuke got some flash bombs, since he was fond of them, and Naruto didn't buy anything extra from the seal shop, claiming his wakizashis were fine for him. Of course, I knew he was also trying to get a scroll that would teach him how to make his own exploding tags, but it was restricted to chunin and higher, and they were keeping a sharper eye on him since he'd stolen the scroll of forbidden techniques from the Tower. Anyone could make their own flash bombs or smoke bombs, we learned that our final year in the academy, but the chemicals to make one were only slightly less expensive than the finished item, so it was rarely worth the effort.

We were done with weapons, and it was only late morning. After that came personal gear, clothes, and armor. None of which was general issue.

So we found ourselves wandering in and out of shops in the market district of Konoha, looking at mesh armor, bed rolls, and hundreds of other little items offered for sale.

"Hey, Sasuke! Checkitout!" Naruto called gleefully from near the front of one shop owned by a retired kunoichi.

I cautiously took a peek, then covered my eyes again.

Naruto had found a rack of plush dolls for children or young girls and had picked up one of a strange, creepy little superdeformed person of ambiguous gender, its cloth mouth opened in a soundless scream that took up half the face, as if it had seen something that ate at its very soul. Bulging cloth eyes took up the remainder of the face, and its fingerless suggestions of hands seemed to tear wildly at the spiky black 'hair', though really they were sewed to the top of the head in a manner suggestive of a particularly nasty torture.

"Hn?"

"You should buy this! It conveys all the rage and horror that you feel inside but are too cool to express!"

I could feel Naruto's bright, mischievous grin as he displayed the screaming doll to Sasuke. It's good that he's happy.

Sasuke grunted noncommittally, though I could tell that he was ever so slightly offended.

I thought that would be it, but a few minutes later, I heard Sasuke move to the back of the store, his sandals squeaking on the floor, which had been polished with nightingale wax, probably to aid the old woman in keeping track of her customers and making sure none of them shoplifted.

"I wasn't going to mention it, but I saw something back here that reminded me of a member of our team. Perhaps you should buy her to sleep with when you get lonely."

Naruto made a strangled noise.

Against my better judgment, I took another quick peek.

Sasuke was smirking, displaying another plushie, and I saw why it had been put in the back. It was Tsunami, the blue haired, enormously well endowed snail riding heroine of the long running Icha Icha Lucky Streak comic manga that was popular with some adults. The plushie was another chibi type, with a, shall we say, 'well stuffed' body and the character's trademark snail pet 'Zip-zip' on her shoulder.

In that split second I had used to look around, I noticed that both his and Naruto's eyes flicked over to me as they shared that moment of male humor.

With my eyes safely shielded by my forehead protector, I stared blankly at nothing at all, pretending obliviousness.

Interestingly, I could swear I felt their combined gazes on my breasts. Happily, I also found out that the steel and cloth covering my eyes also managed to cover my blush.

…not that I minded the looks. I was the most gifted girl my age in every way possible. After years of being ignored by everyone, I'd found that the attention was nice.

Ever since that day Naruto told me to hit him, I haven't been lonely. It truly is the most wonderful feeling in the world.

Soon, Naruto would figure out the correct technique that would allow us to summon part of his immense power. We would share that contract with other people, his, and by extension my, power and influence will grow, I will be confirmed as heir to my clan, we will rise in the ranks, and one day…

Well, I'll leave that thought for another day. I believe Sasuke is attempting to get Naruto to buy a package of condoms and I have to support my teammate-

-I mean, break up their argument before we get thrown out of the store.

Again.

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"Freeze!" Sasuke hissed.

Both Naruto and Hinata froze.

Belatedly, Sasuke added, "It's that damned pigeon. He's over there behind that sapling."

Hinata uncovered her eyes and looked around, quickly spotting the bird in question. They were still in the shopping district, and had just left a store specializing in camping gear.

"Let's get him this time," Sasuke hissed, his sharingan spinning rapidly.

Each of them pulled out a number of throwing weapons, Naruto and Hinata choosing senbon, and Sasuke pulling out four shuriken which he attached wire to.

"I'll try to surprise him on the other side of the tree," Sasuke said quietly, readying his attack.

The others nodded, knowing what their part would be.

The shuriken, guided by the chakra infused wire, looped perfectly around the tree, two clanging together where the pigeon had pecked at the ground, seemingly unaware, two more crossing paths a foot higher, compensating for the bird's speed if he took flight.

Once again, the pigeon proved faster, darting away from the spinning blades.

Naruto hurled his senbon next, waiting for the bird to get high enough that a miss wouldn't hit anyone on the streets. That proved prudent, as the needles buried themselves in the side of a building across the street.

Hinata went last, her byakugan giving her an edge as she tracked the pigeon's flight. While she didn't have the predictive abilities like Sasuke, she could see the glow of chakra around the wings as the bird manipulated the air currents to drive itself faster than muscles alone. Three senbon missed, but one hit the pigeon square in the breasts.

"YES!" Sasuke cried.

"Awesome, Hinata!" Naruto cheered.

"No, wait," she replied quickly, as the bird, instead of just fluttering as it died, actually broke apart with a crack and a puff of chakra. Shards like pottery rained down upon the street.

"NO!" Sasuke cried.

"A clay pigeon replacement?!" Naruto exclaimed, stunned. "What the hell are we facing?"

"There!" Hinata shouted, throwing another brace of senbon to punctuate her words.

"He's getting away!"

"Not this time," Naruto growled. "Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Four clones appeared around him and, working as one, grabbed the real Naruto and hurled him into the sky. Just as he was reaching the apex of his flight, he made two more, then used them to push off of, jumping even farther into the sky, never taking his eyes off the pigeon spiraling into the sky.

Sasuke and Hinata blinked at the new tactic as Naruto ascended higher than any of them could jump, even using chakra enhanced muscles.

Over and over, Naruto made clones and pushed off of them, letting them poof out of existence as soon as he was through. The wind streamed through his hair, buffeting him gently above the Konoha rooftops as he closed in on the unsuspecting bird.

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"Ino, you're a harsh taskmistress," Asuma chided gently as they all walked through the streets together. "You shouldn't beat up Shikamaru just because he'd rather train in tactics than taijutsu with you."

"I didn't beat him up because he was complaining," Ino said reasonably, tugging at the fighting wraps around her left wrist. "I kicked his ass because he keeps holding back and letting me win."

"Mmmblengh," Shikamaru grunted vaguely, trusting everyone to get his complaint despite his mouth being opened wide as he felt of his back molars with one finger. He had a black eye and a sour expression.

"Yeah, well, I'm just making sure it's more troublesome for you to hold back than it is to fight me with all you've got. At least Chouji doesn't pull his punches."

Chouji shrugged. "I don't have to, you dodge most of what I throw at you anyway. I don't mind being your punching bag now and then."

Ino smiled at him wryly. "That'd be a lot sweeter thing for you to say if one of my punches could actually hurt you. You're a rock, Chouji. But a rock you can break, punching you…" She sighed.

Asuma laughed. "You're all doing great. Just relax, nobody makes chunin in a day." He was actually pretty pleased with his genin team. The famous Ino-Shika-Cho combo held just as true today as it had for their fathers, each bringing something vital to the table.

Almost as if he could sense his sensei making a food analogy, Chouji piped up.

"So where should we eat for lunch?" he asked. "We had udon yesterday, but if it's good one day, it's good the next…"

Shikamaru kept quiet and rubbed his bruised eye. It was too much effort to speak up, really, since he didn't much care and it would be decided without him no matter what he said.

"Sushi, maybe?" Ino replied. "Been a while since we had sushi. Rice keeps you lean and quick and the sugar gives you energy." She punched the air a few times.

Asuma groaned. "Please, have pity on your sensei's wallet."

"Sushi is indeed good," Chouji replied gravely. "Though, given the training we have been doing, perhaps we need something with more protein."

Ino opened her mouth to retort, but something caught her eye. Flashes of orange, high in the sky, moving erratically. Blinking, she realized that it was Naruto's orange pants and pale orange shirt she was seeing as he made bunshins over and over, flying through the sky over Konoha as high as the top of Hokage memorial.

"Oh my god," she whispered, staring at the flying blond, who was drifting nearly directly overhead.

Shikamaru glanced at her, looked up, and blinked in astonishment. "What the fuck?"

"Barbeque?" Chouji said thoughtfully. Then, he, too, looked up.

Naruto finally gave up his aerial assault on the pigeon and began his descent to the ground.

From the height of the Sandaime's forehead.

Asuma darted forward, unsure how well catching the boy would work, given the speed at which he was approaching the ground, but he couldn't just let the kid go splat.

Naruto, however, had a plan. As he neared the ground, he performed a mass shadow clone jutsu, making dozens of copies, all of which he put between himself and the ground, balancing carefully, feet first on the stomach of the clone below him.

Faced with an immense falling mass of flailing bodies, Asuma decided it would be best to just stand back and hope for the best, grabbing his genin and moving them back to a safe distance.

Seconds later, the mass of Narutos hit with a tremendous whack, each dying and disappearing as the impact overloaded what the chakra construct could handle. They didn't dispel in order. The first three to hit the ground died at once, but the one Naruto was standing on died next, followed by a few in the middle, and Naruto's careful, feet first fall was thrown awry. His world went topsy turvy as uneven impacts hit his feet and legs, sending him spinning madly down through a rapidly dispelling stack of clones.

He hit the street shoulder first with a sickening thud, all the air whoofing from his lungs and his legs pointing almost straight up for several moments before they slowly fell forward and thumped against the stones.

Slowly, Asuma, Ino, Shikamaru, and Chouji crept closer and stared down at the dazed boy.

Running feet alerted them and they all looked up to see Hinata and Sasuke racing for them, their eyes wide with concern.

Naruto chose that moment to suck in a deep gasp, twisting his bruised shoulders painfully as he levered himself up on one arm and rubbed at the back of his head, staring at the faint streaks of blood on his fingers in dazed bemusement. Blinking, he looked around, slowly, at the audience that had surrounded him.

Everyone stared at him in a mix of disbelief and concern.

Slowly, he raised his hand to the sky, clenching his fist and shaking it.

"You win this time, gravity!" he cried in defiance.

"I think we should get you to the hospital," Asuma began, but Naruto shook his head, though he quickly stopped and groaned at the spikes of pain it sent through him.

"Nah, I'll be… fine…" he replied, attempting to stand on wobbly legs.

Hinata quickly gave him a hand and pulled him up onto her shoulder, Sasuke supporting him from the other side, and together the trio staggered off, Naruto dragging his feet more than walking.

Asuma and Team Ten watched in silence.

Silence, at least, until Chouji nudged his teacher's elbow. "Barbeque?" he asked.

"Yeah, okay."

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"Are you going to be alright, Naruto?" Hinata asked for what must be the thousandth… third time.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm alright," he replied, attempting to be reassuring. "I'm already getting feeling back in my legs. It's a tingly, burning kind of feeling, but it's something, and that's good, right?"

"Yes, Naruto, your crushed spine putting itself back together in the span of about five minutes, keeping you from being a paraplegic from the rest of your life and never being a ninja again, can probably be considered a good thing."

"Aww, Sasuke, I'm touched. I didn't know you cared," Naruto replied with a grin.

He glared at the blond, then gave him a comforting, if rather… hard… pat on the back. "Of course I care," he said with fake camaraderie.

"NNNG!" Naruto all but screamed, his body seizing up in pain.

"Sasuke!" Hinata yelled.

"Hn," he smirked, somehow managing to indicate that, see, he was getting the feeling back, so everything was good.

"Hinata? Should you keep leaving your eyes unsealed?" Naruto asked when he could speak again.

She shrugged slightly, though not so much as to jostle Naruto. "I'm watching your bones heal, it's very fascinating."

"Ah. Well, perhaps we should take a break somewhere until… Oh, hey look! It's Anko! Hey, Anko-san!" he yelled, waving.

Sasuke blinked.

Anko was an adult kunoichi wearing a long brown coat with dark hair twisted into a sloppy ponytail sitting at an outdoor café, busily working on some sort of project. As he grew closer, he saw her chewing absently on the frayed end of what was once probably a dango skewer, given that she had an open box beside her with three more full skewers. Her project turned out to be a large leather bound book propped up on its bottom edge as she industriously worked on the inside with a needle and thread.

She looked up, and her expression of concentration melted into a broad, slightly deranged grin.

"Naruto! And little Hinata-chan! My advice come in handy yet?"

Hinata shook her head sadly, easing Naruto gently down into a nearby seat. "Not yet, Anko-san, but soon, hopefully."

"Yeah, that's not a creepy way to start the conversation _at all_," Naruto said with a roll of his eyes. He gestured at Sasuke. "Anko? Meet Sasuke. The naked Uchiha."

Anko's grin seemed to turn even more predatory as she leaned the book forward and rested her chin on the top. "I was walking out of ANBU headquarters when you ran by that morning, kid. Cute butt."

Sasuke leaned down to Naruto's ear and whispered "Told you," with a smirk.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, asshole," Naruto grumbled. "Sasuke, this is Anko Mitarashi, the most deadly, some say the most psycho, woman in Konoha."

Sasuke raised one eyebrow. "Mitarashi? Yes, I've… heard… of you."

"No doubt," Naruto said with a smirk.

Anko shook her head seriously, making the book wiggle on the table. "No, no, all those rumors are false. Actually, I gave up sex when I discovered the taste of fresh blood."

He glanced at Naruto, then back at her. "So how's that go with dango?"

She blinked, then smiled slowly. "Someone else's fear is always the best sauce," she replied with a wink. "So you're teamed with Naruto and Hinata, huh? How's that working out for you?"

Sasuke shrugged in false modesty. "We're alive. Our enemies aren't. Pretty good, I'd say."

"Hah! That's what I like to hear." She looked back at Naruto. "I was a little worried about you way back, since I didn't think you'd find the right team, but looks like they did a pretty good job of assignments. And under the Copycat, no less."

"Well, Kakashi-sensei is off somewhere doing something incredibly classified, probably killing people from the shadows, as usual. So right now we're sort of between teachers. Want to corrupt some impressionable young genin with your murderous techniques?" Naruto asked hopefully.

Anko grinned, but soon her expression faltered and she shook her head regretfully. "No, sorry, Naruto, but I'm still forbidden from teaching you any of my jutsu, even if you do have the chakra to use it. You know the old man and his rules."

Naruto sighed and nodded. "Yeah, he's pissed at me right now, so I guess there's no point in making it worse."

"Ano," Hinata interrupted, looking at Anko appraisingly. She still hadn't covered her eyes again. "You're forbidden to teach anything to Naruto, right? But, what if you weren't _teaching_, exactly."

"Hm?"

Hinata smiled mischievously. "What if, say, you were just practicing your techniques? At a public training ground? And, say, maybe an Uchiha with a mature sharingan happened to walk by? Surely the Hokage couldn't blame you then. You know those Uchiha, pesky, sneaky little jutsu thieves."

Sasuke raised one eyebrow at Hinata's assessment of his family, but he had to admit, she had a good idea. He'd get the techniques, which would add to his own skills, but since he could only perform one at a time, it would make perfect sense to teach them to his teammates. He had to admit, Naruto's grandiose plans about cooperation and increasing each other's power seemed pretty farfetched at first, but if Naruto could convince the older woman to let him copy her jutsus, everyone benefitted.

Anko's grin was back in full force. "You know, that's entirely true. Those damned Uchiha are some pretty pesky thieves, at that. Nice, Hinata-chan. I think we'll try that, though if you think I'm gonna show you everything in my bag of tricks you're a fool."

"Fools don't live long," Naruto said dismissively, "and you'd be a fool to do that. But we, as poor, inexperienced little genin, could surely benefit by just being close to your awesomeness."

"Flattery will get you surprisingly far," Anko noted. "But not today. I may not look it, but I just got back from an A rank this morning, and I'm not gonna do anything big for the rest of the day."

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked, jerking his chin at the book she had pressed against her neck.

She blinked. "Oh, this? I'm just updating my facebook."

"Facebook?" Hinata asked.

"Yeah." She lay the book flat and spun it around, showing the flayed, pale, bloodless skin of some luckless man's face that she was now sewing industriously onto a page of heavyweight paper. Across the bottom of the page she had carefully wrote 'Rintarou Nishi, Kamatachi of Grass'.

Sasuke dimly heard Hinata say something inane, like 'oh, that's his face', but he was busy being slightly distracted. Or not so slightly.

Anko's long coat gaped open in the front, revealing that her idea of a bra was a second, shorter mesh shirt over the wire mesh body stocking she wore beneath the coat. And, wow, she was extremely well endowed, making even Naruto's female form pale in comparison. He couldn't actually see her nipples, they were hid by her coat, but there was some significant cleavage on display from her throat to her upper belly, where the edge of the table pressed.

_-tits!-_

_Naruko, leaping up, her adult sized breasts sagging with inertia, making her pink nipples point at the floor, then rebounding healthily so they actually, briefly, pointed at the ceiling, round hips, golden downy fuzz, her pale, perfect skin flushed with excitement..._

Oh, crap. He really wasn't ever going to be able to forget that.

"Yeah, Ibiki was the first one to start it, but now there's about a dozen of us who have facebooks here in Konoha. It's really growing in popularity!" Anko said enthusiastically. "We show them off to each other sometimes. Like, here, look at this one." She flipped through the pages rapidly, many of them thick and lumpy against each other thanks to the human skin matted on them.

"Bloody Malth? Who's that?" Hinata asked.

Anko blinked, then shoved the book at her, stabbing at the fleshless skin of the forehead with her finger. "This guy? You've never heard of Bloody Malth, The Iron Mask of Blood?"

Hinata, Naruto, and, belatedly, Sasuke, shook their heads dumbly.

"Bah, kids these days. I wonder that they claim to teach you at all," she griped. "Anyway, this dude was seriously bad ass, and I stabbed him in the eye." She flicked the neat edges of the bisected eyelids dismissively, though not without pride.

"Nice," Naruto replied, feeling the need to say something. "But was that a penis I saw a couple pages back?"

Sasuke groaned mentally. He had seen it, the inked silhouette of one, at least, and was hoping it wasn't going to be mentioned. Some things you just didn't want to know about people. That, and he was afraid it wasn't just the silhouette.

"Oh, this?" she asked, flipping to the page.

Yep, there was an inked impression of a penis.

"Yeah, sometimes I keep a sort of picture as a reminder. You know how old men will ink a fish and slap it on paper to prove how big it was? I heard of this guy who was doing the same thing with women's breasts, and I thought that was a pretty neat idea, except I'm not really interested in breasts."

_…Wow, what a great idea_, Sasuke thought, watching hers jiggle with her enthusiastic motions.

"I've got a couple in here," she mused, flipping through the book. "Tsukada, and Sousuke, and I've got Asuma around here somewhere, but he was passed out drunk and it was soft, so it's just blackmail material, whoops, heh, you probably didn't want to know that about your teacher," she said with a giggle, quickly turning the page.

"Iruka-sensei?" Naruto said, his voice rising into a screech.

"No, he's in the back… oh, yeah, he was your academy sensei, right?"

Sasuke had his eyes firmly shut. He'd caught the name written below that one, and she was absolutely right, he didn't want to know that about his sensei.

"Ano, Anko-san, why did you keep that one?" Hinata asked, her hand darting out and stopping the flip of pages on one with a two inch ink print. "That's kind of small, isn't it? I mean, it's wide, but still, most of them I've seen have been way bigger than-"

Anko tugged on the page and it unfurled like a centerfold.

"Oh."

"Dretric," Anko mused, a strange smile on her face. "A rank mission a long, long, long, loonnngg-"

"I think we get it," Sasuke noted.

"-way from here," she finished with a giggle. "They don't make them like that around here, girls, so don't bother looking." Carefully folding the page back up, she closed the book with a snap. "Well, that's all the corruption I have the energy for today. I don't think I've slept in like ninety hours, so I'm gonna go home, wash the gimp, and get some sleep. See you kids tomorrow!"

Taking a moment to gather up her book and dango, she disappeared with a swirl of bare dango sticks.

Sasuke blinked and turned to the other two. "Did she just say she was going to go home and masturbate?"

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"Saguraki-san?" Sakura asked politely as the old, white haired man opened the door to his house.

He was clearly an ex ninja, moving with a grace and power not usually seen in civilians, but he'd probably been retired for decades. He had a somber face, but laugh lines crinkled at the edges of his eyes and mouth, and his short white goatee was neatly trimmed. He wore a light tan kimono and geta shoes, and while relatively neat, it showed signs of stains and dirt, indicating it was casual wear.

"Yes, I am Rikuto Saguraki," he replied, blinking owlishly in the evening sun.

"Pleased to meet you. I'm Sakura Haruno." She bowed politely.

Her day had, fortunately, been an easy one. One D rank mission involving nothing but unloading wagons of produce, plus three hours of genjutsu training had left her tired, but not exhausted. While walking home through the village she had caught a glimpse of Sasuke and his team disappearing into a clothing store, which had reminded her of that morning.

Now, here she was, after an appropriate bit of polite chitchat, being shown to the roof of Saguraki's home, the last person in Konoha to raise carrier pigeons.

He had quite a few of them, too. Four rows of coops lined his flat top roof, each cage having a sheltered nest box and two bowls, one for food and one for water, which could be filled from the outside. Most of the doors stood open, but many of them had pigeons inside, sometimes two and three per cage.

"I like to let them roam Konoha. I can't imagine they'd be all that happy cooped up all the time, but so long as I keep food and water handy, they always return. Used to, you had to trade them by hand and keep them caged until you needed to send a message, because they'll always return home, given a chance."

"Ah. So if I had one, I'd need to keep it in a cage or it'd come back here?" she asked.

Her cover story was that a friend had recently become interested, yes, a boy, yes, he's cute, Saguraki-saaaan, please!, because pigeon had taken a liking to him but wasn't always around. She'd heard that it might actually belong to someone, so now she had tracked down Saguraki because it might be his and he'd know the most about them.

"Yeah, but I guess if you get the one you want, and it comes back, you can just come pick it up again. I'm kind of glad, not too many of you kids are interested in things like pigeons. It's always hawks this and hawks that. I bet you didn't know that some of these pigeons can be trained to use chakra offensively. I watched this one pigeon cut a hunting hawk in half with a kind of wind technique."

"Wow," she replied, genuinely impressed.

"Yeah, wow," he agreed, smiling. Then his smile drooped. "Of course, it takes time to teach them things like that, and I have to admit that some of the hawks can do even better. But the pigeons are still great companions for a ninja."

Sakura nodded, walking up and down the rows of cages. The pigeons cooed and shifted, rustling their wings as they jostled for position or pecked at seed in the bowls. Occasionally one would take off with a flap of wings, suddenly deciding to do one last avian errand before sunset, but more often one would be coming in, sometimes going directly in the coop, sometimes landing on the roof, liberally covered in birdshit, and sometimes one would land on the top of the coop and look around, cocking its head curiously at the new red human in their territory.

Most were kind of a slate grey with a shiny, shimmery purple head, but others were pure white, and others were kind of a tan color. They blended into a mosaic of feathers and bright black eyes watching everything around them.

There was a quick beat of wings, and Sakura glanced over to the side.

There he was.

She blinked.

She couldn't have said exactly how she knew it was the same pigeon that had attacked Sasuke that morning, but she was. She'd seen it, though, better than anyone else, for she'd been the one to notice it flying down the street, and sense its silent, purposeful dive towards Sasuke's unprotected back. And she'd also seen it at the hospital, doing nasty things to Sasuke's hair. On the surface, it was unremarkable. Standard slate grey with the purple feathered head. But she was a ninja, and she was very good at sensing chakra. The pigeon had a presence, tiny, but there, unlike anything else she'd ever felt, even from some of the other birds in the coops.

"There it is," she said quietly, instinctively lowering her voice to keep from scaring it.

"Eh?" Saguraki asked, looking up from where he'd dropped a handful of birdseed in one of the bowls.

"There it is," she repeated, backing towards him. "That's the pigeon that I'd like to give to my friend."

Saguraki looked over to the bird on top of the coop and raised one eyebrow. "Lamarr?" he asked, scratching his beard. "You want Lamarr? He's… he's an odd one."

Lamarr cocked his head to one side, staring at Sakura with one beady little eye. Even though he was a bird, somehow the move was suggestive. "Cooo?" the pigeon asked softly.

"Lamarr?" Sakura repeated. "That's a strange name."

"He's a strange bird," Saguraki assured her.

"Coooo, cooo," Lamarr objected.

"Well, it's definitely him," Sakura said after a moment. "When my friend was in the hospital, he liked to spend a lot of time on the roof, and… Lamarr…" she said, pausing at the name, "started coming to visit." Amazing what switching two words could do. She bit her tongue. It was horrible and it was degrading and it was happening to SASUKE but it was still pretty funny.

"Huh," the old man said, staring dubiously at the bird. "Well, if that's the one you want, you can have him. Free of charge."

"Really?!" she asked, barely suppressing a squeal.

And so it was. Saguraki waited until the pigeon hopped down into his preferred coop, then carefully caught him and put him into a rickety old bamboo slat cage. Sakura promised that he wouldn't be in that cage for very long, and, with much bowing and thanks, escaped with her prey.

Take THAT, Ino!

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She found Hinata and Naruto sitting quietly at a food stall, Naruto aimlessly pushing around a leftover piece of cabbage covered in teriyaki sauce with his chopstick as if he couldn't decide if it was worth eating.

Lamarr cooed and struggled briefly in her hand. She had the cage that Saguraki had given her, but, she didn't want to just admit that she'd just found the owner and convinced him to let her have the bird. It lacked a certain… ninja quality to it. No, she'd found the owner, found where the bird roosted, snuck in, and grabbed him. But she wouldn't brag about it. Modesty is a virtue, and the less you say, the less you have to lie about. So she'd quietly left the cage in an alleyway where it wouldn't be noticed, and took the bird in hand while she searched for Sasuke. The worst thing that could happen was he'd get away, and she'd just have to go back to Saguraki to get him again.

It was a pretty good plan if she did say so herself. A bird in the hand and all that.

In fact, it was a great plan. Because the look on Naruto's face when he glanced over at her and did a double take…

It was really quite deeply satisfying. She didn't bother to keep the wide grin off her face.

Naruto, for his part, groped a second and then grabbed Hinata's shoulder. It had already been a weird, stressful day, but the last thing he would have expected to see was Sakura of all people walking towards him, headpigeon in hand, grinning a positively evil, satisfied smile showing a lot of teeth.

She really did look like the cat that… caught the pigeon.

"What's happening?" Hinata asked, feeling him touch her shoulder but not pass any coded information.

"Ah, you're not gonna believe this, but Sakura is brandishing the headpigeon at me," Naruto said, fighting to talk normally instead of grin like an idiot and whoop.

Hinata raised her hitai-ate and her eyebrow at roughly the same time.

"…Impressive, Sakura," she admitted, her lips twisting in an equally amused smile. "Bringing it alive? That's an interesting choice. I don't think Sasuke wanted to interrogate it, but…" She shrugged wryly.

Sakura grinned like mad, and the pigeon cooed in protest and struggled as she inadvertently tightened her two handed grip. "So where is he? Where's Sasuke? I want to show him!"

"He went to find a bathroom," Naruto replied. "He'll be back. What I want to know is HOW."

"Not every battle is won with kunai and shuriken," she assured him, eyes bright with satisfaction and triumph. "A pigeon has to roost, right? I found his roost. Caught him off guard. Easy."

Naruto's eyebrow couldn't physically raise any higher. Hinata giggled, and he looked at her.

Sakura looked at the pigeon. Lamarr, the old man said its name was. It cocked its head and looked back at her, cooing softly.

Footsteps alerted them, and they turned to see Sasuke walking towards them, back from the bathroom. He glanced at Sakura, then back to Naruto and Hinata, then back at Sakura again. Then…

Sakura's chest gave a little hitch, her heart skipping a beat.

He noticed.

His eyes grew wide. He froze in mid step.

The pigeon's tiny little bones popped like twigs as her strong fingers curled through its feathered breast, and Sakura literally tore the pigeon in half with her bare hands.

Everyone stared at the now dripping, bloody mess.

Sakura's eyes widened in shock. She hadn't meant to kill it! She had just planned on giving it to Sasuke! But when he looked at her like that… her hands had convulsed involuntarily.

She had done it, she had killed the pigeon. She had killed Lamarr.

"Uh, Sakura?" Naruto interrupted gently. "They're not fortune cookies. They put the message in a little tube on the leg, not inside of them."

Sakura stared back at him, uncomprehending, acutely aware of the fever hot blood running over her fingers, making the soft grey feathers stick to her hands.

Naruto shook his head. "I swear, smartest girl in the academy and she thinks they put the message on the INSIDE."

Hinata giggled as Sakura stood there in a daze. "Ordinarily, we don't let just any shinobi hang out with us, but since you've got blood on your hands now… Welcome to the club! We'll have you stabbing people in the kidneys in no time."

Sakura glanced at Hinata, then, slowly, she turned her head to look at Sasuke, holding her hands away from her body lest she get blood on her dress, almost as if she were offering the bloody meat to him.

He looked at her, looked at the two pigeon halves in her hands, then gave her a measuring look.

"One date."

And he walked away.

Sakura blinked, shell shocked now that Sasuke had just agreed to a date.

"Stuff your bra."

"Huh?" she asked dumbly.

"For your date with Sasuke," Hinata elaborated. "Stuff your bra. He's a breast man, and you…" Hinata briefly cupped Sakura's chest in derision.

She stood there, still shocked that Sasuke, the coolest boy in Konoha, her crush, her one true love, had just agreed to a date.

"YES!" she cried suddenly, thrusting her fists, and dripping pigeon halves, into the air in exultation. "I am so totally rubbing this in Ino's face!"

Naruto's eyes lit up with glee and mischief, and he nudged Hinata. "Now that's a girl I can get behind! It's one thing to beat your friend out for a date, it's a whole different bird to shove a mangled pigeon in her face!"

"She is a credit to my gender," Hinata deadpanned.


	14. Memories Lie: five

"What a strange day," Naruto commented idly as they walked through the soft glow cast by the dozens of paper lanterns decorating storefronts and street lamps. The bustle of activity had started to ebb again, most people having done their shopping for the day or evening and gone home to families or supper.

"Yes," Hinata agreed from his left side. "Our chakras have pulsed wildly all day. But thank you for bringing us together. Despite our flaring emotions, we have preserved team harmony and strength when we could have easily been torn apart from within."

"Speaking of being torn apart… The pigeon is dead," Sasuke said with satisfaction, stretching his arms up and unconsciously smoothing down the hair on the back of his head with both hands. He strolled along on Naruto's right.

"That was one dead bird," Naruto agreed, grinning. "I almost fell over laughing when you agreed to a date."

"She hadn't even asked yet," Hinata noted. "So do you have a thing for pink hair that's stronger than your love of a girl's-"

"She did me a favor. It's the least I could do," Sasuke growled, cutting her off. "And I remind you that I didn't say when it'd happen."

"Well, technically, the least you could do would be nothing, but I'm glad to see you're finally getting my point. When someone kills for you, they deserve everything you can give them in return," Naruto said, wrapping his left arm around Hinata's shoulders and his right around Sasuke. "Pink's a good color for you, man."

Sasuke closed his eyes for a moment, then shook his head.

"Sorry, Sasuke," Naruto said hastily, realizing he'd accidentally brought up Midori again. He let go of the dark haired boy and quickly changed the subject. "But I'm with Hinata. We needed this as a team. Tomorrow, we'll meet up with Anko and we start some serious training before they remember us and stick us on missions again. You'll learn more jutsu than we will, because we'll make sure you're in the right position to copy them, and you'll share them with us. We'll all grow in power and get new teachers, rivals, and enemies, and between your ability to copy and Hinata's eye of insight, their secrets will be an open book to us. And with my power fueling us, every one of our goals will be in reach."

He paused, showing fanglike teeth as his lips twisted into a feral smile.

"My goals first," Hinata said without preamble.

The others suddenly stopped, turning their heads to stare at her, shocked at her sudden demand.

"Hinata?" Naruto asked. "I mean, yeah, you need your position as heir confirmed soon-"

"I am afraid it is becoming a pressing matter," she replied, her lips pressed into a hard, thin line. "My father… He did not immediately send for our seal master when I arrived home, but there was a certain... attitude."

"Well… _shit_," Naruto said after a moment.

"What are your plans?" Sasuke asked interestedly. He'd thought about her speech on the barn roof several times, wondering exactly how she envisioned her revenge on her clan for dismissing her. His own plan for Itachi boiled down to little more than killing him, but Hinata had seemed more inclined to dominate than just kill. It was kinda creepy, coming from the girl who was so subservient to Naruto.

"I need to find out how my skills have suffered since the mission and work to correct my flaws. I had just gotten proficient at the sixty-four hands technique and was trying to incorporate kicks into the juken, but all of my family style relies on our vision save one technique, the kaiten, we use as an emergency defense. Unfortunately, I have not yet learned the technique, and it is very chakra intensive, which is a problem for me right now. If I cannot keep my eyes uncovered during an intense fight, I might as well carve the manji into my forehead now," she explained in a detached manner.

"You seem rather calm about it..." Sasuke hazarded. "You didn't even mention it until now."

"We had tasks for today. Whining about it will not help me."

Sasuke turned to Naruto, who was frowning, deep in thought. With the clarity of the sharingan, now, in this unguarded moment, Naruto looked worried.

Very worried.

"Naruto?" he asked. "Do you have a plan?"

"Hm?" He blinked and looked up. "Plan? Ah… yeah. Well, the original plan basically involved Hinata hiding her skill until she was good enough to crush them in a surprise demonstration of her power. Now, though… Hinata says we no longer have the luxury of time. While I know she's easily good enough to deserve the position as clan heir, with her eye problems, she might have trouble destroying her reputation as unworthy, and that seriously weakens her future position as heir or clan matriarch."

"Weakens?" Sasuke asked.

"It is not enough that I overcome my past," Hinata said in a flat voice. "I must erase it, rewrite it as if it never was. The elders must look back on every mistake I've ever made and doubt their perception of it, looking for signs of the strength I've hidden from them all along. It will make them wary and cautious of me, giving me the room I need to establish myself as a power not beholden or reliant on them."

"You're gonna rock their world, Hinata," Naruto said approvingly.

"If they only 'allow' me to become the next clan head, there will always be the perception that my power comes from them. They will attempt to decide the alliances I make, the deals I broker, the society I move in, even the man I marry."

_That is not acceptable._ The words hung unspoken, yet filling the air with a subtle menace.

"Indeed," Naruto agreed. "The obvious solution is for you to summon some of my chakra, but I'm a little worried about that. The Hokage did forbid me from risking anything, so I guess the only thing we can do is hope he comes up with a jutsu that will do it safely before you have to make your move. So, for now, the best thing to do is wait."

"Sasuke's technique worked, though," Hinata said with the tiniest bit of reproach.

Naruto winced. "Yeah, but I'd really rather not risk destroying your coils." He paused, then added quietly, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Sasuke watched with resignation while he put and arm around her waist and she melted into him. Love and sex, bah. Wastes of time. Strength is what's important.

Unbidden, a faint image of Naruko's naked form bouncing up and down came to mind.

-_tits_-

"So we'll do our best to delay any preemptive sealing so we can hopefully get the right jutsu. Tomorrow, Anko will teach us some jutsu, so that'll give you an edge your family won't see coming. Beyond that, we need to help you practice your kicks, hand speed, and the kaiten, right?" Naruto said confidently, turning his head so he was all but talking into her hair.

"What about that thing you did with your chakra against that old priest's arm?" Sasuke asked. "I'd thought you had to touch someone to project your chakra into them, but you couldn't touch that thing without getting burned, remember?"

Naruto blinked. "I don't remember that."

"You weren't there," Sasuke countered, leaving the fact that he'd been fighting that _thing_ unspoken.

"You mean this?" Hinata asked, leaning forward slightly and waving her flattened hand over the top of her head.

Several hairs that had been sticking up, mussed by her regular sliding of her hitai-ate, were cleaved in two, the ends floating gently to the ground.

"Yeah, that's the one," he agreed.

Naruto looked on with interest. "I knew you were working on projecting your attacks more, but that's really nice, kinda like a chakra scalpel."

"It requires too much concentration. For a single attack I could use it, but without the attack and defense of the sixty-four hands, one attack is not likely to be effective against my family, and they will see it coming."

Naruto quirked one eyebrow at her, then looked back at Sasuke. "It's a start, right?"

xxxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxxx

Naruto lay perfectly still, curled onto his side, his knees nearly touching his chest. He wore only a pair of boxer shorts, and his head rested on his arm, his fingers clenching and unclenching unconsciously.

He lay there for a time, his body twitching with inner turmoil, as the chanting went on around him.

"_Ph'nglui mglw'nafh_…" the chant went, growing softer.

Naruto slept, shifting slightly to make himself more comfortable on the cold stone floor. Despite having eaten a good supper, his stomach clenched and growled at the smell of fresh blood and terror in the air.

"…_wgah'nagl fhtaghn_," continued the chant, growing louder. "_Kryaas u'lsaja tyrrq!_"

Naruto's ears twitched, like a fox bothered by a fly.

"_Ia… Ia_…"

He rolled over.

"_T'quai si ju ret i'n kryass_…"

Someone screamed, high, piercing, feminine.

He pawed at his cheek.

"_Ia! Ia! Kyubi fhtaghn!_"

Naruto's eyes snapped open, slit pupiled and red.

"_IA_!"

Power, red and huge and hungry, pounded in his coils, and he felt himself rise slowly to his feet as if he levitated there, supported only by the immense, physical weight of the bloody red chakra twisting and lashing out around his body.

"_IA! NARUTO FHTAGHN!_" Sasuke screamed, his voice full of wonder and terror.

Naruto turned slowly, chakra wreathing his head, giving him the suggestion of foxlike features, including two long, slender ears.

"_Naruto fhtaghn!_" Hinata called, offering herself, body, mind, and soul to him.

His hand reached out to her, grabbing her shirt, pulling the unresisting female closer.

"Naruto!"

He paused.

"Naruto…" Hinata reached out and touched his face gently, her hand glowing with her electric blue-white life energy.

The dark, underground grotto brightened and faded, like an image exposed to too much light, changing, speeding up. The sun was high in the sky, the leaves rustled in the breeze, and Sasuke and Hinata stood over him, because he wasn't standing, he was laying beneath a tree, flat on his back.

Ohhhh yeah…. They'd been waiting for Anko, and he'd been up in the branches of the tree while his shadow clone waited patiently down below with Sasuke and Hinata.

Hinata knelt by his side and gently cradled his head, her fingers working over his body, looking for injuries by touch.

"I'm alright," he grunted weakly. "Just… flashbacks. To the mission."

"Hn," Sasuke said in understanding, turning away.

He had started the day off by finding a note from Anko on his chest, along with a senbon. The note, apparently, had been written in blood using the senbon. And, apparently, if the tiny crust of dried blood on the side of his neck that he found when he looked in the mirror that morning was any indication, she'd used him as her inkwell.

He'd been tremendously impressed.

Following the instructions on the note, he'd gathered Sasuke and Hinata and made their way to training ground fifty-three with a dozen boxes of dango skewers. That had been at nine o'clock. It was now sometime around noon.

Naruto stood up slowly, stretching carefully and popping his joints one by one. The dream… flashback, nightmare, whatever it was, had really left him tense.

"You know, we're really going to need to sit down and do some training after all this, especially if Anko does teach us some new techniques. How are you coming with the sharingan, Sasuke?" he asked.

"My tomoe reverted to black last night," he noted. "At this stage, I need to train myself in genjutsu and speed. I learned your ninjutsu just by looking at it, so my abilities are working properly."

Naruto raised one eyebrow. "You learned it, but the whole thing about the hensou is making yourself look right, and that takes as much visualization as a genjutsu. Did you practice it to see if you could do it?"

"…Hn," Sasuke sort of agreed.

Naruto looked at him speculatively, then grinned abruptly. "Hah! You did have smaller tits, didn't you!?"

"What about you, Hinata? Are you going to learn blind fighting techniques or try to work around the drain on your chakra?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Truly, you are the master of conversational genjutsu," he muttered under his breath.

"I will attempt to do both, but my focus for now must be on minimizing chakra use and increasing my capacity," she replied, turning her head slightly to face the direction his voice was coming from. "Although I like the idea of pretending to be an effective blind fighter, then catching my enemies when they attempt to use that weakness against me, it will take me some time to learn those techniques. If Naruto can solve the problem of the summoning jutsu, I will be able to draw upon his chakra when necessary."

"Aaa," Sasuke replied thoughtfully. Truthfully, he was a little worried about the chakra his own bloodline was using every moment. It wasn't crippling to him the way it was to Hinata, but it was a nagging, steady drain that made him feel as if he was constantly just a little bit tired.

"Yeah, I'd love to be working on the jutsu, but we got lucky so far, and I don't want to push our luck," Naruto added quietly.

"Hi, kids! Guess who's here?" a new voice cut in from above them.

"Hi, Anko-san," Naruto replied, looking up to see Anko standing on the branch he had so ignobly fell off.

Sasuke winced as he turned. He'd been on lookout for the past hour, warned by Naruto that Anko was likely to try something surprisingly. And she'd snuck up on them anyway. He looked up, then blinked.

Anko was wearing clothes nearly identical to the ones she'd worn the day before, a long brown duster over a fishnet body stocking and a mid thigh skirt. And, since she was standing on a fairly thin branch directly overhead, he was able to see her from an angle he'd been denied the day before.

"Like the view, boys?" she asked archly, not moving.

"My goodness, Anko-san. You seem to have forgotten to put on panties this morning," Naruto said in a tone of mock innocence.

Hinata suddenly blurred into motion beside them, crouching and rising back to her feet in one lightning fast, smooth motion, two long, thin, wriggling snakes in her hands. They were pale grass gree with whip thin bodies, and she pushed her thumb and forefinger at the hinge of their jaws, forcing their mouths open to display long fangs dripping poison.

"Ah, I see our Hinata-chan understands her role in the team dynamics," Anko said in amusement as she stepped off the branch and fell noiselessly to the earth. "Leave it to the girl to keep the boys from getting killed while they lust over a deadly woman."

"Yes," Hinata replied quietly holding out the snakes.

Anko dismissed them with a wave. "And I didn't forget to put on panties, I never wear panties. They can give you crotch rot on long missions, and if you wear underwear over a mesh body stocking like mine, the wire chafes, and if you wear it underneath, you have to take the mesh off before you can get the panties off to pee."

Sasuke frowned at this logic. It seemed off somehow. "Don't you have to take the body stocking off to pee anyway?"

Anko gave him a slightly incredulous look. "It's _mesh_."

"Oookay…" Naruto interrupted. "So did you have trouble? Or did you just sleep late?"

Anko shrugged. "Trouble, kid, of sorts. I got called into the Hokage's office this morning."

Naruto winced while the other two hid their apprehension.

"Yeah, you didn't tell me you managed to get on the old man's shit list yesterday," she noted with grim amusement and a little accusation. "That's got to be a first for you, ain't it?"

"Yeah… so far as I know, it's a first. So no training today, huh?" he said, not allowing even a trace of disappointment to enter his voice.

"I was told not to," Anko admitted. "Look, have a seat. I think we're gonna be here a while." She sat into the grass with her back against the tree, her legs crossed comfortably in front of her. No point distracting the boys any more, this was serious stuff. She waited until they all sat in an arc around her, Naruto in the middle, the girl on his left, and the Uchiha on the right, noting with some approval that they sat just far enough apart that she had to turn her head slightly to look from Sasuke to Hinata, then continued. "Actually, I was told a number of things. Including some of the details about your last mission. Were you going to tell me about the shoggoth?"

Naruto blinked. "Of course not. That was classified."

Anko smiled softly and shook her head. "Of course not." She chuckled slightly, then swept her gaze from one genin to the next. "It kind of makes me regret that I'm forbidden from being a sensei. With genin like you three, I'd look like a total bad ass of a teacher."

"Ano, why aren't you allowed to teach anyone?" Hinata asked hesitantly.

"Let's just say…" She trailed off for a moment, then shrugged. "Aw, fuck it. I trained under Orochimaru of the Sanin. He ignored every rule there was about how to train students, putting us through life or death situations, exotic techniques to force our bodies to gain strength quickly, and teaching us techniques at an age considered insanely young by everyone who later found out. He also developed elaborate kinjutsu, which he then used to give us abilities far outside your standard ninja."

"I'm sensing some drawbacks here," Naruto said wryly.

"I was the only one out of six official Konoha genin and god knows how many orphans to survive his training."

"Civilian orphans? Or…?"

Anko shook her head. "He never started with anything but the best. He would have loved you three."

"Would have?" Naruto pressed, intrigued despite himself. This Orochimaru guy sounded like an awesome teacher in his book, especially considering that he'd almost certainly be able to survive the training. He definitely sounded cooler than Kakashi, and Naruto liked Kakashi.

Anko took in the sudden interest, nay, eagerness in Naruto's demeanor and realized that every bad thing she'd just meantioned was the kind of training Naruto would thrive under. "Yeah, don't be running off and pestering the Hokage for his address. He's been dead over ten years now. How… that's classified. But I will say that he didn't get his name chiseled on the Monument for a very good reason. So don't be thinking he was a good guy."

Naruto made a little moue of disappointment. "So you can't teach because your sensei was a little unconventional in his methods, huh." He looked at her appraisingly. He'd known Anko practically all his life, but this was the first time she'd ever mentioned her past.

Anko paused, closing her eyes for a moment as a visible shudder ran through her body. "Yeah, something like that," she whispered a moment later. She shook her head. "Look, kids, you just don't understand. We are shinobi. We go where others can't, and we learn things others shouldn't. By the time you're a chunin, you'll know secrets that could start wars in the wrong hands. By the time you're a jounin, you'll know things that could change the course of history. Konoha promotes based on strength and skill, true. But you'll never get beyond special jounin unless you're absolutely perfect at keeping secrets, and you won't even make it that far if you don't at least learn how to keep your mouth shut. Most of the people ANBU catches and executes as enemy spies or traitors to the village are just regular ninja who are too loose lipped. Most of them are even perfectly loyal, but what does it matter your intentions if a careless comment gets people killed?"

The team nodded seriously, Anko was glad to see. It was one of the hardest things for some ninja to accept, which is why only certain people were ever invited into ANBU. She'd bet a year's pay in A rank missions that all three of them would be ANBU within a month of making chunin. But then, Naruto had never lacked in ruthlessness.

"But what exactly does that have to do with us? We're not running around spreading classified information like fools," Naruto replied.

Anko sighed and leaned her head back against the tree. It was a really pretty day today, with the sun shining and the breeze blowing and the birds calling to each other among the leaves. The heat gave her energy and drive, but what the Hokage, and Ibiki, as Naruto's primary handler, had told her that morning took a lot of the spring out of her step.

"It's not about you," she said finally. "It's about me, and something I know, and a certain bit of training I never got, and now it's too late. It's secret training, done without your knowledge, or it doesn't really work. I shouldn't even tell you about it." She plucked a blade of grass and toyed with it idly, carefully splitting it down the middle with her thumbnail.

"If it has to do with keeping secrets from people, I think we're as ahead of the grade there as we are everywhere else." Naruto saw little need for false humility, and he really wanted to know what she was talking about.

Anko shook her head. "Yeah… and there you go. But, as I said earlier, fuck it, right?" she said vehemently, throwing the split blade of grass away from her like a dart and leaning forward. "The old man can declare stuff classified all he wants, and he knows I sometimes don't agree. He found out I was going to meet you three today, and he told me what happened in your last mission. And since you lived, well, you're going to be first on their list of genin they can send out for the hard missions, so you're going to see some more shit you've never heard of, and they never prepare you enough for some of it. Especially since he also told me a few things we should all be concerned with. So I'm going to violate every rule I know and tell you some things I think you ought to know.

"To begin with, at some point after you make chunin, you're going to go through special training that you won't even be aware of. It's subtle, I mean maddeningly subtle. Most of the people involved don't even know about it. If you're doing well, life just seems to be going good for you. Little things, like bonuses, or the occasional vacation. You get praise from your jounin commander, you get commendations in your file. But if you're making the wrong moves, you'll start getting the shit jobs, your commander will be pissy, promotions will take forever, beaurocratic mistakes will cost you some pay, things like that." Anko shook her head. "It's like this oppressive weight that just settles on you, where you think everyone is disapproving of everything you do."

"Yeah. Sounds like Ibiki-san's work," Naruto commented.

"He's probably involved somewhere, it does seem right up his alley," she replied with a shrug. "Some people do what they're supposed to, which is withdraw from the world and stop talking to people. A minority go the other way, and end up really outgoing, trying to get people to like them again. I don't know what they do to fix those people, to be honest. Never ran into any myself."

She shrugged again, and Sasuke was careful to focus on her expression, not the way her coat moved up and outwards with her shoulders.

"Eventually, you'll make it high enough that you'll find out what they've really been doing to you. They've been conditioning you to never tell anyone anything of meaning. That ranges from village secrets to jutsu and even all the way down to funny stories about how some guy you know took a shuriken in the ass on his last mission. Anything and everything that might be of use to an enemy you are taught to keep to yourself." She tapped her thigh lightly. "Look, you're smart enough genin to think about the world around you. Why do you think we don't have teachers lined up to teach you creative, incredibly destructive ninjutsu? Or devastatingly subtle genjutsu? Or all kinds of clever things you can do with fuinjutsu?"

Naruto frowned and looked down at his own hands. Hinata remained impassive.

Sasuke spoke up.

"I assumed it was because most ninjutsu take too much chakra to use for a genin," Sasuke replied reasonably. "And it takes a certain amount of talent and intelligence to learn jutsu of all types, especially since a mistake can kill you or a teammate."

Anko nodded. "That's right. Most genin, hell, most _chunin_ only have enough chakra for maybe one C or B rank technique per fight, so there's not a whole lot of use in knowing a bunch of different ones when you'll only get to use one anyway. That's what you're supposed to think. It's even true, which makes it the cleverest sort of lie. Once you figure that out, you stop asking the question."

Sasuke frowned.

"Look, you're an Uchiha, right? Have you ever thought about why your clan was one of the most favored in Konoha? There were never any Uchiha Hokages, or even advisors to the Hokage." She ignored his deepening scowl. "By and large, your family rarely made it any higher than special jounin or jounin. But still, you ask around, you've still got a lot of old glory and honor clinging to that name, kid. It's in many ways the same with the Hyuga. It's your eyes, kid. That copy wheel eye. How many jutsus have you copied?"

Sasuke grunted and looked away with a jerk. "Two."

Anko looked surprised. "Two?"

"He just awakened his bloodline on our mission," Naruto hastened to explain. Sasuke would not like been seen as below average. "And we haven't gotten a chance to train or really do much at all until just now."

Anko nodded. "Fair enough. Well, Sasuke will be, like the rest of his family before him, notorious jutsu thieves for good reason. Use a jutsu in front of an Uchiha, and unless it's a bloodline or something special, you just gave that technique to Konoha. Sasuke's clan was the single biggest contributor of techniques to the village libraries in all of Konoha's history. The bounties on dead Uchiha were huge among enemy villages, but in Konoha, they were all but venerated. Hell, that's why most of them got pulled back to Konoha as guards and police, there was a standing kill or capture rule in effect for Uchiha even with our _allies_. Techniques do not necessarily equal power, but they definitely contribute to it, and by writing down their stolen jutsu and donating it to the village at large, the Uchiha made Konoha the biggest single repository of techniques in all the elemental countries. We may not have them all, but we damned sure have most of them.

"Techniques are just like any other village secret. You do not let them fall into enemy hands. Genin love to show off their techniques, it's like a brain stem function, right up there with bar crawling and brothel hopping and other stupid, predictable ways of getting yourself killed. And genin, even in Konoha, account for the vast majority of missing nin. So genin are mostly only taught the basics. Useful basics, but stuff any village, and hell, even the vast majority of samurai have access to, not that samurai would ever stoop to using dirty ninja tricks. You know how they are about their precious 'honor'." She turned her head and spat into the grass.

The trio of young shinobi smiled or chuckled softly, expressing appropriate disdain of people who foolishly ignored the perfect technique of stabbing people in the back when they weren't looking.

"But, once you start getting skilled, if you're the generous type, or just naively think that spending your off time training students and genin in new techniques is a good way to improve Konoha, you'll start having the itch to pass some of your techniques on. Probably be something small at first, just help with some taijutsu, or with one of the basic techniques. But I've seen fresh minted chunin decide that they needed to teach their younger sister an A rank ninjutsu to help them through the academy! Needless to say, that was stopped pretty damned quick. And the guy's sister grew up and made chunin on her own, and is actually still doing pretty good. She even eventually stole that technique from someone else, and is quite deadly with it. In that case, it probably would have been alright for him to teach it to her. Families do share techniques fairly frequently, despite everything done to stop it, I think it's basic human nature.

"Still, what if she'd gone missing nin? Or ran into enemy ninja far stronger than her on some mission? If she'd been foolish, or desperate, enough to use that technique against a real enemy, and failed to kill them, you can guarantee her little ass would be destined for Ibiki's professional counterpart in whatever village, and she'd be tortured until she gave up all her secrets, including that jutsu. Then, not only did we lose the technique to another village, we also lost a genin who would otherwise probably have been ransomed back to us. By and large, we don't want you learning a whole bunch of techniques until you're skilled enough that the only way to defeat you is to kill you."

They nodded warily.

"There's also the other subtle aspect of it. We're trained to gather secrets from other people while we protect our own. If you just run around handing techniques to others, they have no incentive to work for it, and they never learn how to steal them. People always value something they worked for more than they do something given to them, again, it's just human nature. So another reason for the training to keep secrets close is to keep you from messing up the system. Perceived strength is often based on how many techniques someone knows. It's not always the most accurate judge of a shinobi's strength, but it's the one everyone uses the most, especially for genin and chunin. The reason is, obviously, that we don't give you but a few freebies in the academy. If you managed to get more, that's a sign of skill more accurate than just the ability to learn the jutsu. You either stole it, bribed it, seduced it, or conned it out of someone else. Either way, you've demonstrated the skills we shinobi really need to survive."

She paused and scratched her calf in a spot where the grass had tickled.

"And, basically, that training is the problem. I never got it, at least not the way the Hokage and the jounin commanders think I should. Orochimaru had his own ideas, after all, and, now, I'll never get a genin team. Not that I've ever really wanted one, but it's a pain in the ass right now, 'cause there's some things I'd like to teach you."

Sasuke concealed his disappointment. He'd really thought Naruto was going to come through for them and put him in a situation to try out his sharingan.

"Hell, I'll even tell you why I want to teach you," she said seriously. "And it's not just because you'd probably learn what I show you. It's a lot more serious than that."

Sasuke focused on her again.

Anko pinned them all with a look.

"War is coming."

Sasuke blinked. Hinata sat up straighter. Naruto's eyes widened slightly.

She nodded. "This isn't an official announcement. This is just a feeling I have based on some things the Hokage said, and, just so you understand, this is NOT something you spread around as a rumor. Keep it to yourselves. Yeah, think about it. You three got Copy Nin Kakashi, the scarecrow himself as a sensei. Kakashi has his faults, but he takes his teammate's safety seriously. Kakashi would never, EVER just abandon his students naked and injured in the middle of a mission unless there was one serious reason to do so. Something that was more likely to kill you three than being left alone to run back to Konoha."

"In our sensei's defense, I was the only one unconscious," Naruto replied quickly, feeling the need to defend his sensei. "At the time, though we were still rather short on equipment and in considerable pain from small wounds, Hinata and Sasuke appeared to be in good health, and it wasn't like I was dying, just… tired."

"It was perfectly logical to assume we'd be able to make it back to Konoha alive, and we'd have made it easily if Hinata hadn't been hemorraging blood and chakra, which no one had any clue about," Sasuke added. "Our first clue was when she collapsed halfway back."

"Ah, but that's just it, she did collapse," Anko countered. "You never know what's gonna happen, and Kakashi knows that. I'd like to think if he'd known he would have abandoned whatever to escort you back anyway, because if he wouldn't, that means we're neck deep and sinking fast. As it is, it just looks like we're ass deep, because Kakashi's has this thing about people who abandon teammates. The only thing I can imagine would make him even consider it is a direct threat to Konoha itself, and that means war. Plus, the Hokage is stepping up the rate of missions. That either means we need to stockpile money and supplies, or we've got a lot of intelligence and counterintelligence missions, or, more than likely, both. And if the missions get stepped up, that means more high ranked missions for the jounin, since they pay more. And that means everyone is likely to start doing higher ranked missions, because the chunin will have to do what the jounin have been doing, and the genin will take over for the chunin."

She paused while they mulled on that.

"And, everyone gets missions based on their abilities. You three took out a medium sized cult and a greater servitor creature. For a four man cell, that's good. For a jounin and three genin students, that's incredible." She raised one eyebrow at them. "For three genin to do together while their sensei is off doing something else, that's _fucking_ incredible."

"Kakashi-sensei took on the entire temple looking for us, all we had were some priests and the… thing," Hinata interrupted quietly.

"Whatever. The point was, you succeeded, and you didn't even die. You may be two clan heirs and… Naruto-"

"A jinchuriki," Naruto supplied helpfully. "They already know."

"-but just because you're all special, and valuable to Konoha, doesn't mean you're gonna be kept safe here and coddled. It means they're gonna use you like the shinobi you are. They're gonna expect great things from you three. You'll be the first pick for leaders, fighters, or any other mission where results matter. And you could use my help, especially now with Kakashi away on his mission. Extra techniques and training won't hurt you." She sighed. "They might even save your life."

They stared back at her impassively. God, they were so young and naive. They had the eyes of killers, of shinobi who'd seen battle and the horrors it brought, but they couldn't understand what war was like. Hell, she barely remembered how bad war was, it'd been so long since she'd seen one, and it hadn't even involved Konoha directly.

"Look, I don't know when. I don't even know if, I don't know anything for sure. Like I said, it's just a feeling, and if even I can sense it, I know the Hokage already knows and is doing everything he can to protect Konoha. Just keep it in mind, okay?" She put her hands beside her and looked at them seriously.

All three nodded. Yes, they would keep it in mind.

Anko ran her hand over her hair, then glanced sideways at the subtle sign of someone approaching.

It was one of Naruto's clones, and he carried the agreed upon dango boxes, which he offered to Anko.

She brightened noticeably. "Hey, thanks!" She lost no time opening one box and sliding one of the sweet dumplings off the stick into her mouth with unintentionally suggestive movements of her hand and tongue. "Mmm…" she moaned in contentment. "Still good."

"Well, you're not exactly training us, but we're still learning, so payment is in order, right?" Naruto replied.

Anko snickered. "Bribing today, is it? Information for dango, not a bad trade for me."

Hinata and Naruto smiled grimly.

They all stewed over their private thoughts for about ten minutes, the silence broken only by the occasional bird and the enthusiastic sounds of eating as Anko ravenously chewed through the dango.

Finally done, Anko launched the last wooden skewer through the air to impale a passing grasshopper flying through the air and burped contentedly, working her tongue around her teeth to garner the last traces of dough.

She laughed suddenly, bringing all eyes to her in an instant, the closest to startlement they would show.

"Here's a lesson for you," she began with a thoughtful tone. "Never be uncontrollable. Being uncontrollable makes people who obsess about security worry about you, since if they can't control you, they see you as a threat." She shook her head. "No, you give them a handle on you. Say, women. Or money. Or praise, or some other vice you can indulge on a regular basis." She indicated the pile of empty dango boxes.

"A clever person will see that as a handle on you. A way that they can control you if need be. Say, you give everyone shit every time they ask you to do something. But, if, say, they bribe you with a shitload of dango, you'll change your tune. People can see that. They want to believe in it, and when you want to believe something, you stop picking at it.

"Obviously, you should never let any one thing control you to the point it can actually be a handle. But the trick is, you have to let it work when someone tries to use it against you. They think they have a handle on you, and they do, but what they don't know is that you're holding the handle when they think it's screwed into the back of your head. They can lead you around with it until they try to use it to throw you off a cliff, then suddenly you let go and they're left holding this handle with a stupid expression on their face, while you are uncontrollable." She gave them all a mad, devious, slightly deranged grin and jumped to her feet.

They hastily did the same, looking at her warily. Hinata pushed her hitai-ate onto her forehead.

"Some handles are more subtle than others, you know. Like, the Hokage told me he'd give me boring ass C class missions for a month if I taught you any of my jutsu. I _hate_ boring missions," she said seriously. "But I like disturbing the system more. So I think I'll show you a few jutsu and show my ass to the Hokage. It's not like he said he'd have me executed."

It was so cute, the way their eyes lit up at the thought of learning new ways to kill people. Sasuke in particular looked incredibly pleased at the thought, and Naruto had a grin on his face every bit as devious as the time he warned her not to use the bathroom at the Konoha housing admin building, a day before a mysterious set of painful rashes plagued the clerks and managers, and a few innocent bystanders. It prompted an investigation that revealed someone had dusted all the rolls of toilet paper with powdered poison ivy vines.

"Well, if he ever does decide to have you killed, I'm sure you'll put the cute in execute, Anko-san," Naruto said solemnly.

She chuckled once. "Alright, what do you want to know? I'm sure you've put some thought into the kind of jutsu that would fit your fighting style."

"Well, I'm a wind type, but Hinata doesn't have an elemental affinity. She's really good with pure chakra and shape manipulation, though," Naruto said promptly.

"Fire and lightning," Sasuke offered. "Though I already know three fire jutsu, and I have family scrolls on some others I haven't perfected yet."

"Hmmm," she said thoughtfully, tapping her lip with a finger. "Interesting. Why don't you just tell me what you know right now?"

Sasuke and Hinata glanced at Naruto. He shrugged, but his left eye fluttered almost imperceptibly.

"Alright," he said, putting his attention back on the older woman. "My taijutsu is pretty good, but I'm best with bladed weapons. I know kawarimi, henge, bunshin, and hensou, but my real strength is kage bunshin. My weakness is area affect and distance. I also know some basic storage seals, and one genjutsu of limited use."

"Genjutsu?" she repeated questioningly. Even Sasuke glanced at him with that one.

He shrugged self depreciatingly. "Hey, even an idiot could learn a technique if he watched someone use it over and over right in front of him. Ibiki-san never told me not to watch."

Anko paled slightly. "You know one of his torture genjutsu? Damn, Naruto."

Naruto blinked. "He has more than one? I never saw him use anything but variants on the Sly Mind Affect."

"What do you mean, more than one?!" Anko exclaimed in irritation. "Ibiki knows…" she stopped abruptly and closed her mouth with a click of teeth. She stood there for a moment, then shook her head and gave him a rueful smile. "Yeah, alright. Nice one, kid, nice." Her eyes narrowed. "Limited usefulness… have you ever used one of his techniques on anyone?"

"Yes."

She frowned dangerously. "Who?"

"Hinata."

"What the hell were you thinking?" she growled. "You do not use torture genjutsu on friends."

"I needed it," Hinata said quietly. "Pain was a problem for me, so Naruto showed me how to ignore it. He never went beyond what I could stand."

"Why do you say 'limited usefulness'?" Sasuke asked, interrupting.

Naruto glanced at him. "Because it takes a lot of time to use, you can't do anything else while you're maintaining the genjutsu, and your target has to be carefully restrained or they can break it with real physical pain."

"Ah, that one," Anko said thoughtfully. "You know, the first time I saw Ibiki's velvet lined shackles, I just thought he was a pervert."

Hinata raised one eyebrow at Naruto, who, uncharacteristically, looked a little confused.

"Whatever. What about you, Hinata?"

"Kawarimi. Henge. Bunshin. Hensou, but only for a short amount of time. Kage bunshin, but the clone doesn't last long and it depletes most of my chakra. My strength is close taijutsu work with my family style. I know two family techniques that are a mix of taijutsu and chakra manipulation. My weakness is area affect and distance." Her report was delivered crisply and concisely.

"Uchiha?"

"Kawarimi, henge, bunshin. Three family fire techniques, as I said, and I copied Naruto's hensou and kage bunshin, though I haven't practiced them. My strengths are taijutsu, wire work, area affect, and range. I have no specific…" He stopped. "My weakness is speed."

Anko nodded, then began pacing back and forth, thinking quietly. She scratched her left tit in a thoughtful sort of way, ignoring all pretensions of propriety, then appeared to come to a decision.

"Alright, I think I have what you need. A wind technique for Naruto, a sort of wind/chakra technique for Hinata-chan, and a lightning technique for Uchiha-kun. But since you've all admitted sharing techniques, and it'd be hard to keep one from an Uchiha's eyes anyway, I'll show you what I have. I've never heard of a team sharing techniques back and forth like you three do, 'cause that's stupid as hell, but if you three make it work, then I guess it's not stupid. Get ready."

Hinata and Sasuke stepped back, Sasuke's tomoe already starting to spin in anticipation. Naruto made the tora seal and created two dozen clones, which all watched the older kunoichi carefully.

"First technique, Fuuton: Daitoppa!" she announced, making seals at about half speed, then launching a blade of wind across the training ground which neatly bisected three training logs, then sent them flying on the gale force wind behind the cutting chakra.

"Nice," Naruto said appreciatively, and his clones stared unblinkingly. A few made half hearted hand seals, as if by reflex, then, as one, they all disappeared. Naruto smiled.

Sasuke's eyes practically glowed in pleasure, reliving the moment she'd used the jutsu over and over, delighted to find that, once again, he'd copied the technique on the first try.

Hinata stared, unblinking, mentally reviewing the series of hand seals. She might not have the perfect memory Sasuke's bloodline gave him, but she could still see, and remember how the chakra had formed into two separate masses that had rolled against each other like two colliding storm fronts, then blew away from her, slicing through anything caught between the chakra winds.

"Liked that one, huh? Put enough chakra into it and put it at about waist height and you can slice through trees, other techniques, and especially crowds of enemies. The wind behind it can deflect stuff, too," she explained proudly, carefully not remembering that it was one of her sensei's most used techniques.

"I think that one will suit my style quite well," Naruto replied, making more clones.

"Here's one for Hinata," she announced, briefly making the seal of the monkey and dropping her hands back to her sides. "You like to get up close and personal, right?" She crossed her arms, making the sign of the boar for a second as she did so. "Well, here's a nasty little surprise for someone out of arms reach, but the seals for this one are a little weird." Uncrossing her arms, she grinned slightly at the smaller girl. "Just finish it with a quick serpent seal and-" she stopped talking, dropping the final seal as she did so, then turned and spit, exhaling sharply at the tree she'd been leaned against. Bark and wood splinters flew, leaving a horizontal gash three inches deep and five wide in the bark, right at head height. "Spit of the Cobra. It's a wind technique, but it's really all just chakra in your mouth, and your breath provides the wind. Go for the throat," Anko advised seriously. "Do it right and you can get the carotid and the jugular. Now did you notice the seals, or do I have to do it again?"

Hinata's hands flashed through the three seals, stopping and holding on serpent as she frowned in concentration. Then she spit hard, even more explosively at the tree, Anko darting out of the way at the last minute. More bark flew, leaving a gash a little wider but only a half inch deep seven inches higher than Anko's.

Anko raised one eyebrow.

"Cobras spit at the eyes," Hinata said quietly.

"Vicious," she said approvingly. "The great thing about that jutsu is that you can use it in the middle of a taijutsu fight, since you don't have to make the seals back to back. Just make sure you hold your breath on the final one, or you'll fuck it up. Try not to get punched in the gut while you're holding the chakra in your mouth, too, or you'll blow your lips off," she warned with a laugh. "And, now one for Sasuke," she said with a slightly demented grin, holding out her hand and pointing at the dark haired boy.

Sasuke raised one eyebrow.

"Pull my finger," Anko said with a giggle, her other hand held at her side.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, reached out, and tugged on the finger.

Anko appeared to glow from the inside, and Sasuke stiffened as if he'd touched an electrical wire, then popped with a burst of chakra.

One of Naruto's clones stepped forward, dropping its henge as it did so. "I hope you didn't expect me to fall for that," Sasuke said reproachfully.

"Actually, yeah, I kinda did, just as I would have let those snakes bite you _and_ Naruto in the ass. If you fall for it, I have no sympathy."

"Anko is the person who set up ANBU rules pranking," Naruto added.

The other two looked at him questioningly.

"It's simple, really. When he was still in the academy, he was pulling practical jokes on people upwards of once a week. But in light of his…"

"She means that I was from Circumstances," Naruto muttered with a roll of his eyes.

"Yeah. Since he was a poor little orphan no one liked, and some of his pranks were pretty funny, I got ANBU to agree that, if he made it back to his apartment and declared 'base', they'd stop chasing him for that offense." Anko grinned and patted him on the shoulder twice, letting her hand stay there for a moment.

Naruto shrugged and started to do his 'aw, shucks' routine, then his eyes started to widen, his hands forming the seals to kawarimi with all the speed he could muster.

"Too late," Anko said cheerfully, her other hand making the same half seal she'd used before against Sasuke. Again, she glowed from within for a split second before Naruto stiffened, throwing his head back as electricity arced through his body-

And he, too, disappeared in a burst of chakra smoke.

"Or not too late," Naruto replied, walking out of the crowd of clones. He liked to keep a clone or two watching himself at all times, ready to kawarimi with him if his real body got in danger, which neatly bypassed the necessity of him making the seals.

"Very nearly too late," she amended, snickering at his reappearance. "That was the Great Spark raiton jutsu. The drawback is that you have to be touching whoever you want to shock, but the great thing about it that it only takes a single half seal, so you can do something else with the other hand, like stick something pointy and metallic in your enemy."

Hinata immediately walked over to him, licking her fingers as she did so, and Naruto blinked as she reached up and stroked his hair for a moment. He glanced at a clone.

"You got frizzed," he informed himself.

Naruto blinked. "Ah."

"So did you get it?" Anko asked archly, looking back at the unruffled Sasuke.

"Pull my finger," Sasuke replied, his face impassive, holding pointing back at Anko.

Anko snorted, reached out, and gave a hard jerk on the offered appendage.

Sasuke pooted.

Anko broke his finger-

And once again, Sasuke disappeared in a puff of chakra smoke, only to walk out of the crowd of Narutos a second time.

"Damn it, what the hell is it with you two and clones?!" Anko exploded, stamping her foot in irritation. "Hinata better be real," she growled, reaching out and poking the young kunoichi in the chest with one hard finger.

Hinata disappeared with a puff of chakra smoke.

"Damn you kids," Anko half snarled, half laughed.

"Do you have any more techniques to show us, Anko-san?" Hinata asked politely, walking out of the crowd of Narutos.

She laughed. "No, no, I'm not giving you little bastards any more of my techniques. The way you're picking them up, you'll bleed me dry inside of a day."

"Then we thank you, Anko-san," everyone, including the crowd of Narutos, said in eerie harmony, bowing deeply in polite thanks, "for allowing us a look at your greatness." They all straightened, then one Naruto in the crowd continued speaking. "And, for the record, all the clones were mine. Sasuke is attempting to get a loop of wire around your ankle-"

Anko leapt into the air as a line of sparks and smoke rose across the ground near her position, hurling dozens of kunai at Sasuke, Hinata, and all of the Narutos, hitting most of them even as they dodged and scattered. All of them turned out to be clones, and Anko hit the ground laughing, looking back and forth warily.

"So this is how you thank your teacher, huh?" she called with a grin, watching as the clones milled in and out of the trees and bushes in a confusing mass of bright orange and pale orange. "By attacking her?"

"For you, Anko-san, no simple words could ever be enough," one of the Naruto's stopped and replied.

Anko laughed again, then plopped down into a seated position on the ground, her legs crossed with her feet under her thighs. "Well, since I'm still here, I might as well see if there's anything else you need to learn. So… I want to see which one of you is strongest. Stop messing around with me, get out here in the damned clearing, and fight each other. I wanna watch."

"Fight each other?" another Naruto clone asked.

"Each other," she confirmed. "And none of these damned clones, I want to see you pounding the shit out of each like you mean it. I, uh, I need to see you fight so I can make sure your taijutsu doesn't suck, or something. Whatever. Just get out here and beat each other up for my entertainment, alright?"

Hinata's head popped out of a bush across the clearing and looked at her dubiously.

"Come on, damnit," Anko cajoled. "Teams are supposed to spar against each other. I wanna see broken noses and blood and guts. And… oh yeah, I suppose you shouldn't kill each other, or something. Last person to spill a cup of blood wins. Now listen to your fucking sensei, get out here, and fight!"

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Hinata was the first to fall out. It was the first real fight she'd been in since their mission, she was still almost constantly low on chakra, and she'd already used some demonstrating that she'd easily figured out Anko's Spit of the Cobra jutsu, plus the chakra she couldn't help but use just looking around.

She panted and almost retched when she collapsed, and found herself helped to one side by one of Naruto's clones.

Anko had derided her aborted performance nearly as much as she'd cheered at the beginning, when a series of whip-quick hand strikes, and a single successful kick, had left Sasuke's arm bloody and three deep puncture wounds in Naruto's chest and thigh. It should have been enough to put Naruto out, but once again, his demonic healing had closed the wounds fast enough he lost little real blood.

Fortunately, the older kunoichi had offered the somewhat encouraging advice that, if she exhausted all her chakra every day, she'd build up her potential really fast. It wasn't anything Hinata didn't already somewhat know, as she'd more than tripled her academy reserves through Naruto's harsh training. Though she'd never admit it, she was glad to hear a responsible adult near-jounin confirm that Naruto was having her do the right thing. When she'd first started training with him, she'd thought his methods were crazy, though she'd been too shy to say so.

Sasuke was even more accomplished with his taijutsu than before, using the prediction abilities of his sharingan to read Naruto's attacks and develop appropriate counters for them. However, he also seemed particularly enamored of the Great Spark raiton jutsu Anko had used, and had lost little time trying the technique against Naruto's resilience despite the fact it didn't draw blood. He'd even hit Hinata with it once through a length of his infernal wire, a painful, almost debilitating experience. She repaid him a moment later, using a juken strike to break the expensive wire, which may not have been as painful, but would make a more lasting effect, if only on his pocketbook.

Naruto was perhaps the most wild in his efforts to win, pulling his single wakizashi in his right hand and using careful, tight blade work to score thin but stinging hits on his teammates.

All their efforts were rendered completely moot when Anko suddenly appeared among them, brushing aside their attacks like they were nothing and pounding the blunt ring end of a kunai into each boy's forehead to leave a bloody welt.

Then she declared herself winner, and insisted they carry her like a queen back to Konoha for more dango.

Hinata, who'd resealed her eyes, was shocked to find herself picked up by two of Naruto's shadow clones and carried along just like Anko, although with far more decorum.

Sasuke had needed to be stabbed lightly in the face before he would consent to helping Naruto carry her, and Anko had been so delighted by the turn of events she'd set up nearly nonstop whooping and laughing.

None of that even came close to the weirdness that came next.

A self styled 'green beast' appeared in front of them.

"Greetings to the cute students of my rival!" Gai boomed enthusiastically. "I regret we have not met before, I am Konoha's beautiful green beast, Maito Gai!"

"Hey, Gai," Anko said with a wave.

Sasuke and Naruto started to lower her to the ground.

"Hey! I didn't tell you to put me down!" she growled.

Reluctantly, they hoisted her back onto their shared shoulders.

"It is good to see the students of my cool rival acting with such chivalry towards the blossoming flowers of Konoha's maidens!" Gai continued. "Though I suppose I should have known that the hip Kakashi would instill proper manners into his students. Still, it is good to meet you all! Please introduce yourselves!"

Hinata slowly slid her hitai-ate up her forehead until she could see the grinning green maniac as the Naruto's carrying her stopped beside Anko and the others.

"Eeeah… I'm Naruto Uzumaki," Naruto replied with a small wave, crinkling his brow at the older jounin. He knew of Gai, but hearing about and seeing are two different things.

"I am Sasuke Uchiha."

"And I'm Naruto Uzumaki," one of the clones said politely.

"Hinata Hyuga," Hinata said tersely.

"And I'm Naruto Uzumaki," the other clone finished. "Nice ta meetcha, I hope. There, we're all introduced!"

"Indeed, it is good to meet you all," Gai agreed brightly. "I must apologize for not having found you before. For you see, your sensei, Kakashi Hatake, is my friend and greatest rival! Though I must confess that in our great struggle to prove ourselves, he currently holds the lead at no less than forty six wins to my own forty five, I still see the man as a brother, which would make you my nieces and nephews! And what kind of uncle sensei would I be if I left you three to languish without training or guidance while Kakashi is away?"

"I don't-" Naruto began.

"A poor one!" he boomed, giving them an exaggerated frown at his theoretical failure.

"I don't want a bad uncle," Naruto agreed with nearly the same bright energy Gai displayed. It wasn't what he was going to say, but the man's vibrant energy made his thoughts difficult to formulate.

"I see you have been training with the ever so youthful Anko-san. I am so proud of you on behalf of your sensei I could burst into tears of manly joy!" he exclaimed, bouncing on the balls of his feet and hugging himself with his arms as he attempted to contain his emotion. In fact, moisture did glisten at the corners of his eyes.

Hinata very carefully, very deliberately, covered her eyes again.

"Yeah, these kids are great," Anko admitted, mock grudgingly. "Copycat got himself a fun set. I know I'm not supposed to train them and all, but forbidden fruits taste best, and are thirty-three percent lower in calories! But it was a onetime thing, so I suppose you're going to take over?"

"Indeed!" he replied, throwing his arms wide in an expansive gesture. "How could I not, now that I know of their need? Sparring!" He shadowboxed. "Strength!" He dropped and did four quick pushups faster than a heartbeat. "Running!" He sprang to his feet and ran in place for a moment, stopping with a flourish.

Sasuke very carefully, very deliberately, covered his eyes with his hitai-ate.

"As I said, I regret that I and my team have been away on a mission, and I only today got back and heard the news! I am not the man who will ignore your plight, I am the man who will help you fan the flames of your youthful power to greater heights!"

"Arson? Cool!" Naruto said enthusiastically.

"I like fire," Sasuke admitted.

"Konoha shall burn," Hinata added quietly.

Gai paused, unsure exactly how to respond to that. "Ehhh… that's not exactly what-"

He stopped when Anko shook her head frantically at him, amusement lighting her eyes. "Don't break the dreams of children, Gai," she mouthed back to him so only he could understand.

He seemed to gather himself up, taking a deep breath that strained the tight material of his green jumpsuit. "Kakashi has certainly taught you the method of his hip coolness! Your youthful responses are a credit to your sensei's wit!" He paused and muttered quietly to himself for a moment. "And it kinda pisses me off. But no matter!" he cried, speaking loudly again. "I shall take over your training starting tomorrow!"

"Eh? But-"

"Never fear! I have already sought and gained the approval from the Hokage, wisest of men! Tonight, we rest! Tomorrow, we train! We meet at seven in the morning sharp at training ground twenty-six, though my cute student Lee and I will be up at five, running laps around Konoha, and you are welcome to join us!" He posed and gave them a thumbs up, his white teeth gleaming in a smile.

One of Naruto's clones very carefully, very deliberately, pulled his forehead protector down over his eyes.

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	15. Memories Lie: six

"He is Neji's sensei."

"I know, Hinata," Naruto replied, distractedly, his palm on his forehead as he thought.

"Neji?" Sasuke asked.

"My cousin, Neji Hyuga. My second biggest obstacle after my own father. I believe I mentioned my family once." She paused. "_Him._" There was a subtle, but sharp, edge to her voice.

"Obstacle?" Anko asked, chewing on yet another dango. She'd forced them to finish carrying her back to Konoha to her favorite dango stand, since three dozen was just never enough, and they were now each sitting around the same outdoor patio that they'd met her at the day before. She was getting a little miffed that they were ignoring her in favor of their discussion, which seemed to rely heavily on events and conversations she hadn't been present for.

"Ah." Sasuke paused, remembering the conversation. "So, clearly, you will be forced to destroy him now that we're going to be spending time together."

"I know, Sasuke," Naruto replied, his eyes still unfocused.

"Destroy?" Anko asked, at this point not really expecting an answer.

"He's good," Hinata replied bitterly. "Very good. Top rookie of last year, just like you this one. Very vicious fighter, very, very good with his eyes, incredibly fast with his hands, somewhat slow on his feet."

"Ah," he replied. He remembered the training Naruto and Hinata had been concentrating on when they were first put on a team together, with Hinata concentrating on kicks and mobility. "_Ah!_"

"Yes. He won't expect that from me, it's not a focus of our family style," Hinata agreed. "But he's good. Kicks are too slow to be especially useful against juken, he'll just attack my leg instead."

Sasuke smirked. He'd figured that out pretty quickly in his spars with Hinata, and had successfully baited her into attacking his leg when the real attack was something else on a number of occasions.

"You're also not comfortable with attacking with kicks," he noted. "You almost never used them against me."

"I'm better than I let show."

Sasuke snorted. "Yeah." Sometimes his teammates were irritating as hell. Sure, he'd never shown them all his abilities, either, but that was because they'd never pushed him. "So you just want to beat him in a fight?"

Hinata straightened slightly, and the dying light flashed off the metal of her hitai-ate. "No. Defeating him isn't enough. I intend to crush him. I will humiliate him as he did me. I will hurt him as he hurt me. I will destroy every perception he's ever had of me."

Sasuke frowned. "Shouldn't you be trying to ally with him? If he's so good."

"I _know_," Naruto replied in frustration. "I'd much rather make allies than enemies at this point. I didn't think we'd have to move so soon, and certainly not in a situation like this. I know very little about his teammates and this Gai." His head snapped up and he looked at Anko. "Anko-san! Most wonderful, awesome ninja. What can you tell me about Maito Gai?"

Anko ignored him, carefully licking mitarashi sauce off one of her fingers in a slightly sensual way.

"Ahhh," Naruto groaned slightly and put his hand over his face for a moment. "I'm sorry, that we've been preoccupied, but I haven't been ignoring you. Obstacle: Gai's student Neji, despite being a branch Hyuga, has caused problems for Hinata by beating the shit out of her in every fight they've ever had. For a branch to beat someone from the main family, especially someone who should be the future heir, well, really casts doubt on Hinata's skills. Destroy: Hinata is going to remove those doubts by kicking the hell out of him."

"Time: I have to do this soon. Problem: I can't see without wasting massive amounts of chakra," Hinata added. "I also can't kill him. I'll need him later. Failure means future leadership of my clan goes to my sister, who is favored over me for being everything traditionally Hyuga condensed into one little girl, then magnified."

Anko winced theatrically, inwardly pleased they were paying attention to her again. "You mean if you fail, your family will become even more stuck up?"

"Chilling, isn't it," she replied. Hinata opened her own box of dango and reached inside. She was completely unsurprised to find that Anko had somehow stolen two of her three sticks and one dango off the remaining, and proceeded to eat the remainder without protest.

"All right, all right," Anko said, defeated. She then delivered a fast summary. "Gai is pretty weird, but he's an elite jounin every bit Kakashi's equal in a fight, he just has his own way of doing things. He sticks mostly to taijutsu, since he's the best in any sort of physical fight in the entire village. But don't let that fool you, he's quite good at ninjutsu, genjutsu, whatever else he thought he might find useful. He just sticks with taijutsu, since he can stomp the average jounin into the ground in short order. You saw him earlier, so that give you an idea of what his personality is like. I'll be honest, I can't tell if he's really like that, or he's playing some sort of elaborate prank on us all that lesser minds can't possibly understand. Your sensei is the only one who has a chance in hell of actually knowing, and he won't say. My best guess is that he really likes to be underestimated."

The three genin sat there impassively, not blinking as they listened to her report.

Finally, Naruto spoke up again.

"So how does he feel about his students?"

"He likes them." She would say no more.

"Bah, and they probably stick together against an outside threat just like we do, damnit," Naruto complained.

"I find it hard to believe anyone could honestly like someone that is as much an asshole as my cousin," Hinata said quietly.

Naruto couldn't help himself, and he felt bad about that. One corner of his mouth quirked up and his eyes flicked sideways to Sasuke for just a second. Of course, given who he sat at the table with, only Hinata didn't see, and that was because she was blind.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted, putting an incredible amount of disdain into his voice.

"Know anything about his other students? Tenten and Rock Lee?" Naruto asked hastily.

Anko shrugged. "I saw them once. Lee looked just like Gai. I mean exactly like Gai, like they were father and son or something, though of course they're not. They were running laps around Konoha on their hands faster than most genin manage on their feet."

Naruto actually knew that, and a little more besides. He and Hinata had trailed her cousin for a while, being careful of his byakugan. But while he felt he knew Neji pretty well, he'd never concentrated on his teammates beyond the superficial. He'd assumed any confrontation would be in the context of the Hyuga estates, not team versus team.

"Anything else?" he hazarded.

Anko shrugged.

"Well, thanks. It's definitely been an educational experience. We've got to go make plans now. Come on, we've got like no time until tomorrow."

Anko watched in some amusement as Naruto left saying 'crap crap crap' over and over, his teammates trailing along behind him. It was kind of cute the way he saw the other team as enemies to be conquered. Idly, she wished him luck.

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"Oh, come on. I passed the poison exam when I was seven! And that stuff isn't even lethal, it's a knockout drug!" Naruto resisted the urge to flail and huff at the prune faced woman behind the counter in a tiny little shop five blocks from ANBU headquarters. Superficially, it was an apothecary shop that carried a variety of traditional curatives. For those in the know, it was the official Konoha poison shop.

"No poisons without jounin-sensei approval," she repeated tonelessly, grinding unidentifiable grey shreds in a tiny bowl with a mortar and pestle.

"He's not _here_," Naruto repeated. "And I need a knockout drug and antidote for a _mission_. I've passed the poison _exam_. I have _money_. Why must this be a _problem_?"

"Because your jounin-sensei is not here to sign for it. No poisons for genin without jounin-sensei approval." She shifted her grip of the pestle, holding it the way one might hold a kunai underhanded. Naruto was quick to placate her.

"Whoa! No trouble!" Naruto said hastily, holding his hands up and taking a step back. She was a retired jounin and he'd been doing his best to wear her resistance down through sheer irritation, but he didn't feel like getting a big chunk of ceramic upside the head.

He bumped into someone standing behind him and quickly stepped forward and to the side, keeping both the old woman and the newcomer in his sight. How long had he been there? Had the old woman reacted?

"The pemoline in the antidote is a powerful stimulant some foolish genin and chunin have been known to take to counteract the effects of long ops or hard training," Ibiki explained calmly. "So while suminai is an effective way to put an enemy to sleep in a hurry, we don't let just anyone use it without supervision because of the risks of the antidote. However, since I know you will not be using it as a combat drug, I will sign for it for you." To the woman he said, "Put it on my tab."

Naruto wasn't caught flat footed often. He found he intensely disliked the sensation. Nevertheless, his mentor's arrival had left him gaping like a fish.

Ibiki politely signed a slip of paper while the apothecary went into the back and produced three small sealed jars, giving Naruto time to recover.

"Thank you, Ibiki-san." Naruto accepted the three ceramic jars and carefully stowed them in his pouch.

"Walk with me, Naruto-kun," Ibiki said without preamble.

Hiding his nervousness, Naruto followed him out of the shop.

"Are you planning on poisoning young Neji Hyuga?" he asked bluntly.

Naruto's hand trembled. This wasn't like Ibiki. He was usually subtle and mysterious.

"I'd like to have the option if things go wrong," he admitted, guessing that Ibiki knew everything.

"Do you believe he would kill his cousin if you press the issue?"

"I… don't know. I'd like to think not, but Neji has a lot of hate for the main family." They walked along slowly, surreptitiously avoiding most groups of people. Naruto didn't pay much attention, though, being completely focused on the large older man.

"Do you believe allowing them to fight is the best solution?"

Naruto closed his eyes, feeling his heart thud in his chest. "I don't know that, either."

"So why do you plan this course of action?"

Not for the first time, Naruto hated Ibiki's mastery of his facial expressions and tone of voice. When he asked a question, it was a question. He didn't give anything in return. No reproach, no approval, no context clues that would allow Naruto to figure out if he was supposed to be defending his actions or hastily admitting his mistake and thinking of a new plan of action that would meet approval. Ibiki just walked along beside him with the same easy grace all experienced ninja had. He didn't emote worth a damn when he didn't want to, and right now, he apparently didn't want to.

"It is not my decision to make," Naruto replied finally, admitting honestly that he didn't have control of the situation.

"Are you not the team leader?" Ibiki asked after the perfect amount of delay to disguise his intentions. Too fast and he'd have been pouncing on a weakness. Too slow and he'd be hesitant, as if Naruto had surprised him.

Naruto started to rally, his nervousness easing. The only thing he could really do was be honest with the most gifted interrogator in Konoha, which was probably what the man wanted, anyway. "I am. I make the plans. They follow my lead. It was difficult to convince Sasuke that I am the best suited for it, but he agrees with me."

"So why is the decision to attack Neji Hyuga not your decision?" Ibiki raised one eyebrow at the boy, which could mean anything from an extra level of inquisitiveness to a subtle approval of Naruto's renewed calm or decision to not prevaricate.

"It is Hinata's decision," he explained. "Her cousin, her problem. I lead the team, but she has her own goals, one of which involves defeating the cousin who has belittled and intimidated her all her life. In this case, she is like a client. I can advise and guide, but the final decision is hers. It doesn't matter if I like it or not, my job is simply to make sure she gets what she wants in the most effective manner possible, and minimize the drawbacks."

"And if his teammates defend him?" They turned a corner.

"They become obstacles," Naruto replied.

"And if Maito Gai becomes angry that you've attacked his students?"

"He won't kill us," he answered. "Hopefully, afterwards, I can make him understand that this is an unfortunate family issue that spilled over into the teams."

"And if the Hokage becomes angry that you've attacked another team without provocation?" Ibiki pressed.

"Provocation is arguable," he replied quickly. "Neji is a jerk and a bully. But what can I do but do my best? I intend to give Hinata time to recover her chakra and analyze her cousin's weaknesses. Ideally, Hinata would save it for her home, or at least the privacy of a personal calling out. But she won't. Next best thing would be Gai-sensei allowing them to fight it out. Realistically, it's gonna be team versus team with Sasuke and I giving her and Neji the space they need. We certainly won't make any friends out of this. We may get in quite a lot of trouble." He put conviction in his voice. "But it doesn't matter. Hinata is my friend and my teammate. She needs this. And I will take full responsibility as leader of my team."

"I heard your conversation with Hokage-sama," Ibiki announced, blindsiding Naruto.

He didn't quite stumble, but he did stop, with Ibiki right beside him, and was silent for nearly a full minute as they stood outside shops lit by paper lanterns and hand blown light bulbs.

"…not one of my better moments," Naruto finally said, looking down.

"It seems to me that there is a resemblance between your statements then and your actions now." Again, there was no clear emotion in Ibiki's voice, leaving Naruto at a loss of how to respond. Because he was right. Naruto had claimed willingness to risk his teammates' lives in order to offer them the power they wanted. And now, he was risking his teammates once again for Hinata's goals.

There was raw anguish in his eyes when Naruto was finally able to meet Morino Ibiki's gaze once more.

"I understand that I'm wrong. I think I kind of get why I was wrong. Because they are my friends and teammates, and I wouldn't trade them for anything," he explained quickly, trying to make his mentor understand. "But what can I _do_?" he pleaded. "I don't want Hinata to do this. And maybe that's my fault, too. But she wanted to change, so I helped her. And I promised her, I swore a promise that I would help her become the next Hyuga clan leader, and this, as crazy as it is, is a part of that promise. And I can't break that promise to Hinata, I _can't_!"

Ibiki's response was a single word, deceptively soft.

"Why?"

Naruto looked at him in confusion, tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. "Why?"

"Is it because she won't trust you anymore? Or because you staked your honor on a promise? Maybe you don't want to disappoint her? Love? A bargain?" He paused. "So I ask you again. Why?"

Naruto nearly went mad from stress. "Why?! Trust… promises…! She's _Hinata_!"

Ibiki reached out and grabbed Naruto's shoulder, despite the boy's reflexive flinch.

"Naruto," he said. "You've been a pain in the ass to your team and your superiors."

Sniffing, and hating himself for it, he nodded.

"Still, you have good instincts, even if you don't always know why," he explained. "Too many new leaders are stifling to their team. You are right to give her the leeway to make her own mistake. You are even correct in sticking by her, because you understand her value to you as a person. That does not mean you're going to find all this easy, or even to find a clearly correct choice. All too often, there is no right decision to make. In cases like that, you lose. It's as simple as that. Sometimes your intentions are all you have. Unlike your childish display with the Hokage the other day, you seem to have your heart in the right place this time."

A tiny spark of hope filled Naruto's eyes as he rubbed at tears and looked up at the towering ANBU division commander.

Ibiki let go of his shoulder. "Don't kill anyone. And don't ever disrespect your commander the way you did Hokage-sama." He made a quick gesture with his hand, and Naruto looked down the street. There, at a food stall, his teammates were talking and nursing drinks.

"Good luck." With those final words, his mentor left him, heading back the way they'd come.

Naruto stood there several long moments, just breathing, his eyes closed, feeling his pulse slow and his headache recede.

His resolve strengthened by the closest thing to permission he was likely to get, he straightened up and finished his walk to the rendezvous with his team, taking a seat beside Hinata. Sasuke met his eyes across her, and they exchanged hard, sharp nods.

"Let's do this thing," he said firmly to his team.

They nodded back.

Glancing at the man working behind the counter, Naruto held up one finger. "One miso udon, please."

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Naruto blinked his eyes, hard, squeezing them shut almost to the point of pain as he suddenly found himself looking at the ceiling of his apartment.

The rapid tapping on the glass of his window sped up, getting a rhythmic, almost musical quality.

"Nnng," he groaned, rolling over and levering himself to his feet. Momentarily, he debated on making a kage bunshin to deal with the person at the window, but that seemed like too much effort. Ten stumbling steps heavy with resignation got him to the window, where Sasuke looked in with a raised eyebrow, his finger still tapping out an aimless beat on the glass. Squinting at the early morning light, Naruto slid the window up and staggered to the kitchen without a backwards glance.

"Damn, Naruto, you look like hell," Sasuke noted with a faint hint of amusement as Naruto pulled a carton of milk out of the refrigerator and proceeded to chug it straight.

Naruto lowered the carton, not bothering to wipe off his milk mustache, squinted at Sasuke, and shook his head.

"It's too early to ninja," he said with a grunt.

Sasuke's eyebrow couldn't physically climb any higher.

"What happ-"

"I hate the Hyuga."

Sasuke blinked.

Naruto took another long drink of milk, burped, and casually scratched his ass. The empty carton was chunked at the trash, where it teetered on the rim for several seconds before falling in with a swish of cardboard on plastic bag. Finally, Naruto wiped his mouth with a dishrag laying by his sink.

Feeling somewhat more human, he fixed Sasuke with what could only be described as a baleful eye. "You know, Sasuke, I wasn't all that keen on this idea. I mean, yeah, I knew Hinata's family treated her like shit, but to deliberately start trouble like this? Especially with people only loosely associated with Neji?" He paused and shook his head. "I mean, yeah, I was gonna do it anyway, because she insists, just like I'll help you kill the Mizukage or Princess Tsunami or that guy who sells fish down the street or whoever the hell, cause it's your goal, right? We help each other because we're a team."

Sasuke watched in growing bewilderment as Naruto's hand clenched into a fist and his eyes, momentarily, seemed to blaze.

"But, you know, now I'm not feeling all that sympathetic towards Hinata's family. I say we unleash Hinata full force, and damn the rest of those bastards." He banged his fist down lightly on the countertop.

"Sooo…?" Sasuke began questioningly.

Naruto grimaced. "I had a thought last night after we left, so I tried to pass it on to Hinata. Apparently, Hiashi isn't quite as uncaring as he appears. No visits after ten at night. So I snuck in. Wasn't hard, right? Hinata tells me their patrol schedules, and they can't use their bloodline ALL the time. I henged into a rock and threw myself through her window."

"Clever," Sasuke noted.

"I thought so," Naruto replied grimly. "We talked, then Hinata opened her window and threw me back over the wall."

"I'm sensing an 'and' here." Sasuke kept his face carefully neutral.

Naruto winced. "Yeah. Guess who's father caught me mid flight?"

Sasuke winced theatrically for his friend. "Hn."

"I suppose I should consider myself fortunate that he didn't just juken me right there. Instead, we had a brief chat, then he called the guards on me and told me to run." Naruto shrugged wryly. "Guess what I found out? The Hyuga don't play by ANBU prank rules."

Sasuke's chest hitched once with a suppressed laugh. "Base didn't work, huh?"

"No." Naruto looked around at his apartment. "They were nice enough to carry me back outside before they beat the shit out of me, though. Considerate, that."

"Very."

"And they finally stopped kicking me somewhere around… three, I think. So… yeah. Let's make damned sure Hinata gets a little more leeway with her family."

"Sounds like a plan."

Nodding, Naruto staggered back out of the kitchen and began getting dressed again.

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Neji took another bite of his little poppyseed cake and chewed happily as he walked into the training ground, giving Tenten's wave a brief nod of acknowledgement. He loved poppyseed cakes, crumbly, seedy goodness in a little round mound, especially the ones from this little bakery not too far outside the Hyuga compound. They made great breakfast foods, even if they did cause a bit of a mess. He'd learned to deal with the mess by grabbing a sack of them and eating them on the way to his team meetings, so the crumbs would feed the birds and not dirty up the floors.

Once he'd even shared one with Tenten, quite the noble sacrifice in his eye.

Well, maybe he was being a bit greedy. But they were really good, so it balanced out.

"Where were you yesterday?" Tenten asked, flicking a kunai at one of the poles in the middle of the clearing. It suck into the wood with a thunk, perfectly filling a narrow diamond shaped hole left behind by eight other kunai. "Gai-sensei was looking for you. Apparently, we're going to be training with some other genin, students of his rival, or something like that."

Neji frowned and swallowed. He was on his last one, and he was trying to make it last, so he took a drink from his canteen. "Great. We're going to be stuck doing D rank missions again while he tries to get some stupid genin up to par."

She shook her head and threw another kunai, which hit at roughly groin level on the pole. "I don't know, Neji, he said they were the students of Kakashi Hatake, the Copy Nin. One of them is Sasuke Uchiha, this year's top student. Another is that weird kid who always wears I-am-an-idiot-please-kill-me orange, and the last…" She hesitated.

Neji sneered. "My cousin, the wilting violet. I'd wondered why she kept staring at me this morning at breakfast." He looked at the leftover poppyseed cake in his hand and frowned at it. Suddenly, it wasn't so appetizing.

Tenten sighed. Neji almost never gave any details about his family, but she'd heard enough that she knew he felt particularly hard done by the main family. Ironically, he seemed to hold Hinata, by all accounts the nicest of the bunch, in the most contempt.

Neji, although irritated that his happy place was being invaded by the main family, and as much as his sensei, and Lee, irritated him sometimes, training or missions were still his favorite options for spending time, actually wasn't too upset. Given Hinata's overall level of sheer pathetic weakness, Gai would probably have her running through the woods carrying two hundred pound logs for MONTHS before he felt her youthful flames were strong enough and she was ready for actual training.

Come to think of it, the notion of Hinata, running through the woods on fire did sort of amuse him. The same with the rest of his family. But it wasn't a new thought, to be honest. Ever since he'd first met Gai he'd been possessed of a faint urge to set the man ablaze.

Not Lee, though.

He had, over the past year, developed an almost unhealthy urge to drown Lee's flames in cold reality, or the nearest pond, whichever was closest.

Uninspired elemental puns were as essential to the daily life of Team Gai as green spandex.

He looked up when he sensed people approaching. Not just people, shinobi.

Three genin, obviously the rookies because SHE was with them, entered the clearing. They moved well, silently and without broadcasting their presence, but apparently without effort, giving the impression that they knew what they were doing but were not trying to be sneaky.

Well, he supposed, they moved well, _for rookies_.

The dark haired one, the Uchiha, turned his head sideways slightly, clearly cocking an ear. Less than a minute later, Lee and Gai-sensei ran up at a brisk jog. Which, admittedly, was a full run for anyone else.

"Greetings my youthful students! And a good morning to my even more youthful temporary students!" Gai boomed cheerily.

"Good morning, Gai-sensei!" his team of students, even Neji, said dutifully in a ritual long since beaten into them. Sometimes, even being the tragic genius of an understated and refined clan like the Hyuga didn't save you from mandatory explosions of youth and politeness.

"Yo," Naruto said with a casual wave.

"'Mornin'," Hinata said softly.

"Hn," Sasuke said with a nod.

"Hey, sorry I didn't make the run this morning," Naruto said, yawning slightly. "I had a late night meeting with Hinata's father and a few Hyuga guards about how my explosions of youth will not be happening in her bedroom late at night. All things considered, you could say I was feeling sort of beat this morning."

Gai, and his students, gaped at him. Especially Neji. To just brazenly trot out information like that was unheard of! And Hinata, consorting with this… this no one! He glared menacingly at the orange clad idiot, this _Naruto_.

Tenten giggled a few moments later, glancing at the bold girl. With a start, she realized that Hinata's hitai-ate wasn't just riding low on her forehead, it was actually down over her eyes. She stared at her more closely, her trained eye quickly picking out subtle folds in her slightly baggy dark grey jacket that indicated hidden weapons pouches. Hidden weapons? On a Hyuga?

Gai smiled at his eternal rival's students, honestly somewhat amused by young Naruto's bold statement.

"Yes, your words are a valuable reminder to us all that sometimes youth can get us into trouble as well as give us strength," he said thoughtfully, then shrugged. "But no matter. My students! As we will be working together for the time being, please introduce yourselves to the students of my eternal rival, Kakashi Hatake, may his hip coolness burn forever!" He suddenly coughed slightly into his hand, and somehow shielding his students but allowed the words 'in hell' to reach Team Seven's ears.

Naruto's eyebrow rose slightly, and he allowed a slight twinkle of amusement to light his eyes. Sasuke looked away, fighting a grin. Hinata remained impassive.

"Well, it's good to meet you all," Naruto interrupted before the others could say anything, letting his amusement color his tone. "A bit of introduction? I'm Naruto Uzumaki, also known as damned kid, brat, stupid, demon, and other less savory titles. To my left you have someone I'm sure you've heard of, the eldest daughter of Hiashi Hyuga and another in a long line of Hyuga geniuses, Hinata!" Out of the corner of his mouth, he stage whispered, "Take a bow, Hinata-chan."

Hinata bowed deeply, about fifteen degrees off from facing their counterparts but pretty close to directly at Gai himself.

"Ah, please excuse her, she was injured on our last mission and currently has her eyes sealed so she doesn't hemorrhage chakra and die, though we all hope it's just a temporary setback. I mean, she just got out of the hospital a couple days ago. She doesn't let it slow her down, though, she's still just as skilled as ever," he assured them.

"Yosh," Lee said quietly, staring at the disabled girl. He felt a strange kinship with her, another ninja with a serious handicap. He wondered if they'd told her she couldn't be a ninja again now that she was blind.

Tenten glanced at Neji. He'd never mentioned that his cousin had been in the hospital, much less blind.

Sasuke made a soft sound, and it was a mark of his irritation that it carried as far as the others.

Naruto didn't flinch. "And this is Sasuke," he said less than a heartbeat after the grunt.

Another grunt.

"And he's an Uchiha," Naruto added, then turned to the dark haired boy. "Seriously, I was about to say something like 'and this one needs no introduction, genius, heir, top rookie, whatever' and then I figured you really didn't need an introduction so I didn't give you one. Grouchy bastard." He winked at the others.

Sasuke looked vaguely sour.

"Anyway, we thank you very much for having us here, Gai-sensei, most mysterious of Kakashi-sensei's friends. And we thank your students for putting up with us." All three of them bowed once again to the others.

"Yosh!" Lee cried, pushing aside his concern for his rival's cousin in his eagerness at meeting his new training friends. "I look forward to training with you all! I am Lee, and I am pleased to meet you!" He bowed low, but abruptly jerked straight and stepped forward, thrusting a fist into the air as his eyes blazed with emotion. "I burn with the power of youth! We must pit ourselves against our very limitations and overcome them!"

Team seven took their clues from Anko's handling of Gai the day before and didn't react to his antics other than to exchange glances and a little wordless communication. Naruto was the only one to offer a friendly smile.

Tenten rolled her eyes at his over the top antics. "And I burn with the power of topical vaginal ointment," she muttered to herself, glancing away from Lee, then looking back to the newcomers and realized that at least Naruto had really sharp hearing because he was biting his lip in an effort to not burst into laughter.

She flushed and glared at him, daring him to make something of it. He didn't say anything. Reluctantly, she decided that that meant she should go next.

"…I'm Tenten. Nice to meet you all. I'm glad you're going to be training with us." She paused. Feeling the need to make up for her terribly unfeminine quip, she added, "If nothing else just to finally spend some time with someone else who isn't a sweaty _boy_."

Neji looked at them all evenly for a moment, then bowed slightly, not nearly enough to be polite, his body language clearly saying he really didn't mean it. "Good morning," he said stiffly. "I am Neji." He paused just long enough for it to be awkward, then added, "Hyuga."

"Please, my youthful students, your names are not all there is to who you are! Tell each other something about yourselves! Shall I start? Very well!" he continued before anyone could get a word in edgewise. "I am Maito Gai, jounin of Konoha! I enjoy training myself and my youthful students, and my ambition is to see you all succeed as ninja of Konoha!"

Lee, once again, started to go first, but he was quickly cut off by Naruto, once again speaking in his role as leader of his team.

"Ah, ah, excuse me, Lee. How about we do this at the same time? I'll tell you all something about yourselves, and in return that will tell you something about us?"

"Huh? What do you mean, Naruto-kun?" he asked.

Neji's eyes narrowed. "He means they already know something about us, idiot. They've been following us."

"A stealth focused team?" Tenten asked incredulously. "And one of you wearing kill-me-orange?"

"Not just kill-me," Neji reminded her, clearly intending the others to hear. "I-am-an-idiot-please-kill-me-orange. But such a foolish choice would fit right in with the profile of the dead last in the academy. Didn't they call you dobe, dobe?"

"Only my friends can call me dobe, Neji," Naruto replied, casually using the most familiar form of Neji's name as if they were friends, and clearly stating that they were not. "And I was only dead last through the early years, I graduated in the middle." He smiled. "Everyone can improve themselves."

Neji frowned at the counter.

"Actually, we're more of an infiltration and assassination type team, not pure stealth," Naruto corrected, his grin, and his confidence, growing as idea after idea occurred to him. "We've been taught how to gather information from the nuances, looking beneath the underneath, as Kakashi-sensei says. And I bet I can tell you all things about you that you might not even know yourself."

"Yosh, that would be a useful skill, Naruto-kun," Lee said at a more normal volume level than his earlier outbursts. He definitely felt kinship with this boy in orange, a dead last like himself, but one who had pulled himself out of the gutter through hard work!

"Oh, it's great," Naruto assured him. "How about I start with you, Gai-sensei?"

"Me, Naruto-kun?" Gai asked, and there was a glimmer of something, Naruto rather suspected penetrating intelligence, in those eyes.

Admittedly, it could have been gas. Gai was proving to be fascinating that way.

"Sure. Hmm." Naruto tapped his finger against his lips theatrically, then gave the man in green a squinty eyed look that made Naruto seem as if he had all the intelligence of an eggplant. "You have no children, correct?"

"I like to think of all of my students as my children!" Gai replied, his voice thick with emotion and his eyes glittering with unshed tears as he appeared behind them and scooped them all, even a furiously wiggling Neji, into an immense hug.

"How touching," Naruto said, wiping a tear from his own eye. "The bond between a student and his sensei is truly a beautiful thing, indeed, I don't know where I would be without it. Ah, Sensei, if you could see me now…" he added, his hand over his heart as he looked into the sky, perhaps looking for a reminder of Ibiki's heavily scarred face among the clouds.

They held that tableau for a moment, Gai slowly releasing his students from his arms.

Naruto looked back at them. "But no biological children, right?"

Gai looked wistful. "Ah, no. There was a girl once… no. You are correct, Naruto-kun. I have no biological children."

"I surmised as much, by your extraordinarily close relationship with your students," Naruto replied, satisfied with the answer. "One must never underestimate the urge to procreate, indeed, the urge to have children is the strongest, most important thing we can do as humans. Additionally, I believe you've worn that spandex suit for quite a few years?"

"Ah, quite a few years, yes," Gai admitted.

Tenten glanced at him, then back at Naruto. "The prevailing story is that he was given his first one when he graduated from the academy. Me, I disagree. I say he was born in it."

Naruto's eyes widened as he imagined how such a thing could happen, and all his thoughts led to one thing.

Horrible condom accident.

It was so inappropriate for the moment he closed his eyes, shivered, then continued.

"Well, I believe I know why," he said, rallying with a smirk. "And it's because of your spandex body suit and your underwear. Thong, correct?"

"Eh?" Gai replied, honestly somewhat surprised.

Naruto took it the wrong way. "You know, underwear that goes up the crack of your ass?" He raised one eyebrow. Gai must know what thong underwear was, Hinata said he wore it yesterday. He and Sasuke had been rather horrified to learn what other hazards came with being unable to turn off her byakugan.

Sasuke's comment of, "When you look that deeply into horror, you will see horrible things for the rest of your life," had been oddly funny, given he was the guy who'd been swallowed by the shoggoth.

"Yes, I wear ninja underwear," Gai confirmed. At their raised eyebrows, he explained. "No lines? Hides from sight behind you? Ninja underwear."

"Wow, okay," he admitted. "I'll go for that. But it's that very ninja underwear that's kept you from the children you so richly deserve. You see," he said, and his tone turned more lecturing than it had already been, "the human male can only produce sperm when the testes are at a slightly lower temperature than the body. This is why we, as males, share a common weakness of external genitalia. We risk moves like 'monkey steals the peach' for the chance to reproduce. Except when, as you have done, you keep your balls squished right up against your body through a combination of tight underwear and tighter, hotter spandex. Wear something loose and airy, and in about a month or two, you'll have a pretty decent shot at making more little Gais."

Gai and his students simply stood there and stared at the blond haired boy in orange with the most shocked, most horrified expressions they'd seen in… well, honestly, since their last mission.

"You also might want to consider the long term effects it might have on Lee there. I'm willing to bet that that green spandex jumpsuit is the most effective contraceptive known to man. Sometimes that's a good thing, but sometimes…" He shrugged elaborately. "Lee is going to want to get a date and perhaps get really youthful with a girl at some point. But it's just a suggestion."

"…how do you know this? Are you studying to be a med nin?" Gai asked after another minute of silence.

Naruto shook his head. "No, not a med nin, as such. I read it in a book on-"

_Short and Long Term Effects of Common Torture Methods by Hiroe Nagasawa_, he didn't say. Specifically the section on the effects of lightly boiling the subject.

"…a book my first teacher had me read," he finished lamely. "Which was sort of a medical text. You never know when medical knowledge might come in handy."

He abruptly brightened. "In fact, I think they should cover it more than they do. Tenten! You wear thongs!"

"Eep!" she squeaked, jumping slightly as he turned his attention on her, and she didn't want him talking about her.

"And you have a yeast infection," he continued at a lower volume.

She got indignant. She'd made comments before, but Lee and Neji never said anything about it. "Well of course I do, I basically told you earlier. That's not all that impressive."

"Ah, but you also get them a lot, enough to come up with particularly witty comments about it. Did you know that you get them because you wear thongs? On long missions? And it's not just the boys who get sweaty. Girls sweat too, and multiple days running through the woods, exerting yourself, sweating, and not having time for a shower, you've brought this on yourself. Wear some granny panties for a change. Or a skirt. More air flow, less… humidity."

Tenten was horrified. She didn't even want to _know_ how he knew this stuff.

"Ano… what is he talking about, Tenten?" Lee asked, all innocent curiosity.

"Nothing, Lee," she hissed. "Girl stuff _that a boy shouldn't know_!"

"It's simple, Lee," Naruto explained. "She didn't wash her blossoming flower often enough and now she's got the burning flames."

Lee blinked.

Scratch that. Tenten was _mortified_.

Naruto, satisfied that he'd made an impression, switched targets again. This one he'd been waiting for.

"Neji!" he cried gleefully.

"Since Hinata-sama is your teammate, your knowledge of my habits will hardly be surprising," Neji noted grimly.

Naruto got a mad sparkle in his eye. "I thought you might say that. But my deduction has nothing to do with having Hinata as a teammate, and I'll tell you why. But first…." His hand rose as if on its own accord, his index finger emerging from his fist to point directly, accusingly, at the pale eyed boy.

Neji resisted the urge to step back.

"You," Naruto intoned, "Neji Hyuga, are… addicted… to… _opium_!"

Lee gasped and took a step back. Tenten covered her mouth.

"My student? On drugs?" Gai whispered in disbelief, looking at his student.

"I've never smoked opium," Neji retorted, crossing his arms with an air of supreme confidence. Honestly, this was the best that blond freak could come up with?

"Ah, but I did not say 'smoked'," Naruto countered once more, wagging his finger back and forth. "You have been ingesting it. And you were probably unaware you were eating it all this time. As for how I know…" Again, he pointed at Neji. "You're a messy eater, Neji-kun."

Neji glanced down at the leftover crumbs from his breakfast still clinging to the front of his shirt. Hastily, he brushed at the mess.

"See how he tries to hide the evidence?" Naruto said gleefully.

Neji flushed as his teammates and sensei stared at him accusingly. "It was just a breakfast cake!"

"Poppyseed, actually. I smelled it when I walked up." He paused a moment to let them digest that. "Look at his hands."

Everyone turned from Naruto back to study Neji, who was staring at the ever so faint tremor in his hand with a quiet horror.

"You eat poppyseed cakes three or four times a week," Tenten noted.

"You _are_ addicted," Lee said with a tone as if he'd been betrayed.

"A mild addiction, at least," Naruto confirmed before continuing. "Now, it's actually not the poppyseeds themselves that contain the opium, despite the fact that opium is derived from unripe seed pods. It's actually more of a regional coincidence."

Once again, his voice fell into a lecturing tone.

"You see, the Land of Crocheted Throw Blankets on the other side of Wind Country is the main source of poppy flowers, which is their main export. They produce nearly all of the seed that gets exported to other countries for consumption. But, they're also the major exporter of opium, which some countries import with abandon, and others, such as Stone, outlaw. These illiterate peasant farmers pack both the seeds and the opium in roughly woven sacks for export. Most of the time, they leak, just a little. Sometimes it's a few handfuls of seeds and not a big deal. But sometimes, it's opium gum, which can dry and powder and it falls out of one sack as dust onto another sack. And if you've got a bag of opium on top of a bag of poppy seeds…" He shrugged. "Well, there's a reason poppyseed cakes are so magically delicious. But don't blame Neji. He probably didn't know all that, I mean, it's mostly the kind of thing you'd learn if, like me, you've spent a lot of time in the Konoha library reading about the exports and imports of every country we're likely to get missions in or from."

Gai clapped Neji on the shoulder with the same air a stern patriarch might cop as he lectured his wayward son. "Neji, no more poppyseed cakes."

"Y-yes," he agreed, still staring at his faintly trembling hand. After a moment, the words caught up with him, and he realized he'd just agreed to give up those delightful little cakes. He snarled at Naruto with all the ferocity of a twelve hundred pound chakra bear. Even Gai stepped back.

"Whoa, whoa, don't get your panties in a twist, Neji-kun!" Naruto said hastily, holding up his hands defensively and stepping back.

Neji continued to glower, though some of the tension left his body, leaving him in the loose, fluid state perfect for juken.

Naruto got another wicked gleam in his eye. "Oh, sorry, Neji, you wear fundoshi, right? All traditionally Hyuga? I guess I'd be kinda pissy, too, if I had a big wad of twisted cloth right in the crack of my-"

"If you are quite through, Naruto," Gai interrupted, shooting the boy a warning look.

"Right," he agreed, closing his mouth with a click of teeth.

"In fact, I believe we should curtail any further introductions and get down to business," Gai continued brightly. "I've secured a mission for us all today that I believe will be a great way of fostering inter team cooperation."

"A mission, Gai-sensei? Yosh, I look forward to it!" Lee cried, quite glad of the interruption before Naruto started talking about _his_ underwear and whatever problems it might be causing.

"Yes, a mission! Fear not my students, it will be an easy one for two teams of such exceptionally gifted students. And to warm us up after our day of rest yesterday, a brisk three hour run to get there! And if we cannot make it in three hours, we will complete the mission using only our left hands!" he said enthusiastically, giving them the thumbs up with his left and holding his right behind his back.

"Yosh!" Naruto cried, mimicking Lee.

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I felt pretty uneasy as I ran alongside Sasuke and Hinata. Normally, I keep a kage bunshin or three spread out around me, and sometimes I let one take my place while I hide in the bushes. But, since we're around people I'm absolutely certain we're going to have to fight, I'd rather not give away my habits before I need to use them.

Especially around Gai.

Gai has me worried. Freaking elite jounin and their mind games. I've never really minded the games before now. Growing up around Ibiki kinda got me used to them. The man could turn 'pass the salt' into an exercise in psychological horror that would make a chunin weep. Don't even get me started on one time I forgot my homework.

I still have nightmares.

He was okay with my decision to not turn in my homework, and accepted my reasoning. But not doing it, and not doing it perfectly, was not okay. Somewhere in his office is a stack of papers, the real copies, he graded personally. Evidence against some future accusation of stupidity and incompetence. Hopefully I'll never need it.

But Gai's mind games… When you ask around and people say things like 'the only man besides the Hokage who has Kakashi's number' you need to perk up and pay attention. So I gave him the old 'wit' challenge. At first I was worried he was going to get really pissed off, since I completely interrupted his one man show, but he was cool with it. And then we show up this morning, and one of the first things he does is make a quip about Kakashi burning in hell.

Yes, Gai-sensei. Message received. You heard my challenge and answered it in kind. It was pretty straightforward, so he probably dumbed it down so that my poor genin mind could handle it. It's sort of a relief, really. I like Kakashi, he's always got some sort of hidden lesson for us to learn, but I've lost count of how many nights I've lain awake trying to figure out what in the hell he meant by some innocuous comment that day. Gai was giving it to us easy.

Mentally, that is. Damn, that man, and his _whole freaking team_, can run. Girls are usually the quicker, not the faster of the sexes. It was that way with Hinata, who was like lightning with her hands but was the slowest at covering ground, and I had little doubt it was that way with Tenten compared to her teammates. Still, with us running flat out, even she pulled ahead, and we eventually had to hang back and stick with Hinata while they added distance.

Taijutsu master, but pretty straightforward in his speech, huh? Gai clearly works his team's bodies harder than he does their minds.

This was going to suck, because everything I was doing with my mind was to provoke Neji, and almost certainly by extension, the rest of his team, into attacking physically so we could respond in kind. If Hinata attacks and beats the hell out of Neji, she still gets her wish, but it's going to permanently damage any future relationship between them.

Fortunately, I convinced her to wait until he launched an unprovoked attack on her. 'Unprovoked', in this case, being somewhat arguable. While there might be some resentment of Hinata if she beats the hell out of Neji just for being an asshole, there will be considerably more censure of Neji if he attacks physically, first. Branch members are not allowed to attack the main family just because they were called a pootyhead. That's a Hyuga clan law.

Neji is a genius prettyboy who's used to getting his way, even as he bitches about the unfairness of the world around him. He was ready to kill me over a poppyseed cake. Yeah, I think I can get him to attack.

The problem, naturally, is his teammates. Everything I said about Neji could be applied to Sasuke, and if someone were to attack Sasuke, Hinata and I would be on their ass. Don't mess with the team. If there's one thing Kakashi taught us, it's that. I'm far less certain of my ability to goad Neji into attacking without dragging Lee and Tenten into it as well. I probably shouldn't, no, scratch that, I definitely shouldn't have made fun of her personal problem, cause now she's pissed at me and that's not a good way to have a first impression. Clever ideas got the better of me, I'm sorry to say. At least I resisted the urge to pick on Gai's pet student, Lee. The guy is obviously bashful, it'd be like kicking a puppy.

In other words, fun as hell, but I don't want to deal with the surge of protectiveness it'll cause in the others.

Also, the little Gai is supposedly some sort of taijutsu genius. I want to get a better idea of what he can do before I risk a fight.

This would all be so much easier if I was allowed to kill them.

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"Ah, just over two hours and 50 minutes! Good job, my students!" Gai praised enthusiastically. "I will inform the client that we are here."

"Easy run," Tenten said with a sniff, hardly winded at all. "I mean, we even took a break in the middle."

The last was directed, not without some rancor, at Team Seven, who, while no more noticeably winded than she was, were very obviously the last to arrive at the cluster of farm buildings in the middle of large fields of wheat stubble.

"We didn't need you to wait for us," Hinata noted, locating Tenten by the sound of her voice. She was actually pretty tired, and it seemed like she was never going to get a chance to fully recover her chakra. "We are capable of following directions."

"What about all those times your father told you to stop being so pathetic?" Neji asked snidely.

Naruto and Sasuke glared back as Hinata kept quiet.

"That was most unyouthful, Neji-kun," Lee said reproachfully.

Even Tenten, no Team Seven fan, frowned at her teammate's vicious words.

"I return!" Gai cried, appearing between the two opposed teams, carrying a bundle of rakes and heavy chopping hoes, which he tossed unceremoniously to each of the genin.

"Yosh! We shall show these farmers the hard work of a ninja!" Lee twirled his hoe about in his hands in a complicated series of spins, looping around his neck once, then bringing the tool out straight as if he was brandishing a bokken. "Let us begin!"

"Settle down, Lee," Tenten said, grabbing him by the collar of his jumpsuit the moment it was safe to do so. "Gai-sensei, what exactly _is_ our mission?"

He beamed at her. "We're going to burn these fields. But first, we have to make a firebreak around them so that the fire can't spread to the forest."

"Oh," she replied. "Okay. Fan the flames, gotcha, Sensei."

"!" was the response from Team Seven.

As Gai explained that the stubble left over from the early wheat harvest needed to be burned, so that the farmers could till the ashes into the soil and plant a new crop, Team Seven huddled together and held a quiet, intense discussion with a lot of whispering and curt gestures.

"So you see, while a fire is unlikely to cause significant damage were it to spread to the underbrush in the surrounding forests, it would still be remiss of us to recklessly release our country's namesake. Yes, my newest students?" he asked, interrupting himself and turning to them. "You have something to say?"

Team Seven had lined up in a row as if addressing a superior officer, which they actually were. Naruto took a single step forward.

"Gai-sensei, in light of the nature of our mission, my teammates and I have discussed the situation and come to a unanimous conclusion," Naruto intoned solemnly. "Your longstanding rivalry with Kakashi-sensei… We would like to put one more mark under the 'win' column on your side."

Gai stared at them for a moment, then broke out into a blinding smile, teeth flashing in the sun, both thumbs up. Possibly the sun sat behind him, despite it being mid-morning.

"Thank you for your vote! I shall be sure and inform Kakashi of your support!" He lowered his hands, and the smile dimmed somewhat. "But I am sorry to hear that you do not consider yourselves members of this team. Now, I would not attempt to sunder the youthful bonds you three have forged through blood and tears, but I would ask you to at least try to be a part of this larger team group as we are all brought together!"

"Yes, Sen-" Naruto was cut off.

"I know! I shall make you feel a part of the larger group by breaking you down to smaller groups for this mission!" Gai announced. "Lee! You and Hinata-chan shall work together!"

"Yosh!" Lee cried.

"Yes, Gai-sensei," she replied.

"Tenten! You and… Naruto-kun shall work together! You will get along!"

"Yes, Sensei," Naruto replied brightly.

Tenten looked a little deflated. "Yes."

"And lastly, we shall see geniuses from two genius clans work together! Neji! Sasuke-kun! Surely Konoha itself must tremble before you if you combine your efforts!"

"Hn," Sasuke replied, though there was an ever so faint smirk on his lips.

"It will be a pleasure to work with a professional," Neji said neutrally, not indicating whether he thought Sasuke was a professional or not.

"Yes, my students!" Gai said happily. "I shall be working right alongside you! We will go forth and create the barrier in record time! It's only seven and a half continuous miles of firebreak three feet wide! If we cannot do it in less than four hours, we shall each do five hundred squats!"

"Yes, Gai-sensei! And if I cannot do five hundred squats, I shall do two hundred one armed pushups!" Lee said enthusiastically.

"Ah, Lee, my cute student! Such fire, such youthfulness! And if we cannot do two hundred one armed pushups, we shall do seven hundred straight punches!" Gai said, crying tears of manly love. "Now, let us begin!"

Taking their directions from Gai, each of them set off to their corner to begin.

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Authors Lie: Well, alright. Considering that the character development, which IS the thing I've put the most thought and work into, is the best part about this story, I guess I should learn to stop worrying and love the characters.

Glad you all are reading! Reviews welcome!

And, as always, contact information is in my bio. If you leave a question or something in a review or PM, and I don't answer within a week, give me a poke, cause I might have forgotten. Real life messes with me sometimes. And I'm a lot more talky on an instant messenger than I am in PMs.


	16. Memories Lie: seven

"What is with the extra conditions Gai-sensei sets for each task?" Hinata asked curiously, working in step beside Lee.

The two of them had decided that, in the spirit of things, they would each take about a foot and a half of space and work side by side in step. Though Hinata had originally gotten a short, thick, heavy tined rake, she'd traded it for Lee's heavier halfpick hoe to show that she did not care to be coddled, and the end of the hoe nearly blurred as she carefully scraped all the dried stubble and greener grass off with rapid, long strokes of the sharp blade. It was tricky work, but she had an excellent spacial sense and, after a few mistakes pointed out by a helpful Lee, learned how much pressure it would take to get everything on the first stroke. It also helped that they'd both decided to work walking forward, which meant that she could use her feet to feel any places she might have missed.

"Ah, that is Gai-sensei's secret to effective training!" Lee replied enthusiastically.

Hinata's brow furrowed under her hitai-ate. "If you fail, he punishes you? Sounds like my father."

"No, that's not it," Lee protested, unobtrusively snagging a bundle of grass she'd missed with the tines of his rake. "You have to understand that the weakness of training is that training does not carry the same risk of failure that true combat does. Gai-sensei's technique is to replicate the drive you feel in combat by deliberately putting yourself in a pinch. Make everything hard to do, but failure makes it even harder!" He delivered his explanation with the fire and passion of a true believer, his rake blurring as he tore at the ground.

Hinata continued her hoeing as she thought about his words, placing that with what she knew of Lee. Finally, she nodded. "That makes sense. You're using the promise of pain to focus you into putting all your effort into everything you do."

"Yes! You understand it very well, Hyuga-san!" Lee crowed, delighted that she hadn't dismissed it out of hand the way Neji had when he'd first heard it. He was loyal to his teammate, but Hinata did seem like a kinder, gentler person than Neji.

"We do something similar to that," Hinata admitted, thinking about all the times Naruto's clones had spent the day throwing senbon at her. "Though it's not pain we're risking."

"Not pain?" he asked.

"No. We all get hurt. Naruto showed me that. Pain is just a feeling. Once you stop being scared of it, you can learn to ignore it, even to focus it." She smirked. "When you're in a real pinch, being able to ignore pain is pretty handy."

"Did it hurt?" Lee asked, pausing his raking to look at her, watching as she worked blindly.

Hinata knew right away what he meant.

"Agony for one eternal moment, then it wasn't so bad," she replied. "There were… other things… that happened on our mission that hurt more."

"I see," he replied, chewing on his lip as he resumed his work. He was faster than her, so he had little trouble keeping pace. Neither were going flat out, however, since it wouldn't be good to run out of energy with the job still unfinished.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Hm?"

"You clearly want to ask me something else. Ask."

He hesitated. "Did… did they tell you you wouldn't be able to fight again?"

"If anyone thought anything like that, they had the sense to not say it to my face," Hinata replied, her hand hovering close enough to the side of his head to brush the hairs.

Lee blinked. He hadn't even seen her hand move. She was fast. As fast as Neji in a fight.

"No, the inability to turn off my byakugan is the price I paid for something far greater. It is not too great a price." She slid her hitai-ate up her forehead and looked at him. "I can still see, if I have the chakra. I am not permanently blind, just… inconvenienced." She covered up her eyes and resumed chopping at the dirt.

"Ah."

"I take it you have been similarly inconvenienced?" she asked.

"You do not know?" Lee asked.

Hinata shook her head. "Apparently not."

Lee was surprised. "I thought everyone knew about my inability to use chakra. Certainly I was reminded of it often enough."

Hinata frowned. "But you use chakra. If you couldn't use chakra, you'd be dead."

He shook his head. "I cannot focus it outside my body. I can't use ninjutsu or genjutsu, not even a simple bunshin." His eyes lit with an inner glow, and his knuckled tightened around the handle of his rake. "I was allowed to graduate from the academy only on the strength of my taijutsu, because I didn't give up. Gai-sensei taught me that through hard work, even a dead last loser like me can be a great ninja!"

They worked in silence for a while. Finally, Hinata spoke up.

"I must admit, I had no idea that you could not use ninjutsu or genjutsu. And I even asked around about you," she explained. "The only thing I heard people say about you is that you were a taijutsu genius."

Lee frowned. "No, I must say that that is not true. I am no genius. I got where I am through hard work!"

"Ah, Lee!" Gai said suddenly from beside them. "You are a genius! A genius of hard work!"

"Gai-sensei!" Lee cried, tears in his eyes.

"Lee-kun! Hinata-chan! I am most encouraged by your shining example of teamwork! You two are pillars of support for us all!"

Hinata smiled softly.

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"I would like to fight you, Uchiha," Neji announced as they walked through the fields. He carried a rake, and Sasuke carried a hoe. "I wonder who is stronger, this year's top graduate, or last year's?"

"Oh, you'll need to talk to Hinata-chan if you want to fight this year's top graduate," Sasuke replied easily.

Neji didn't quite do a double take. "What? You were the top student, I've heard. There's no way a loser like Hinata could have reached that level unless you were even more of a loser."

"And you've heard nothing but praise for me, huh?" Sasuke replied with a glint in his eye. "I'm good, but she beat me out for top spot."

Neji spluttered a moment, losing all composure, before he reassembled his mask of calm disdain. "How?"

Sasuke shrugged. "She killed one of our teachers, Mizuki, a chunin. There's a little used academy rule that if you kill a teacher, you automatically get top graduate spot."

Neji just stared at him for several long moments as they walked, all the way up until they reached their designated corner, the one farthest away from his pathetic cousin, he noted, it being well over a mile away.

"And how was it that she was not arrested for this crime?" he asked finally, tearing at the grass with his rake with exceptional viciousness.

Sasuke gave him an incredulous look, not pausing as he scraped away grass with the sharp blade of the hoe. "Well, he was a traitor, obviously," he replied as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "A foreign agent. You didn't know about this?"

Neji gritted his teeth slightly and shook his head.

"Hn," Sasuke grunted in a mix of amusement and disbelief.

Neji said nothing, feeling the insufferably smug Uchiha's occasional glances as the two tore up the ground at a furious pace, nearly jogging backwards as their tools blurred into flashing steel and flying dirt.

"I'd rather fight Lee, anyway," Sasuke mused openly. "He looks like he could put up a good fight. I've already fought Hinata lots of times, so I don't think a fight with you would be very interesting."

"Lee?!" Neji growled, incensed at being passed over as a threat. "Lee doesn't have any ninjutsu or genjutsu for you to steal, Uchiha. He's a loser, can't even use them. All he has is his taijutsu, you'd have no trouble putting him down. As for Hinata… do not compare me to that pathetic excuse for a Hyuga. I am not a loser like her."

Sasuke actually stopped and stared back at him incredulously.

Neji paused his own efforts, glaring right back.

"Did you…" Sasuke said in disbelief. "Did you just insult your own teammate to a stranger? And gave away his weaknesses?"

"Bah, everyone knows that Lee cannot use chakra. He was the dead last in our academy year. Were it not for Gai's little indulgences, he wouldn't have graduated at all."

Sasuke's eyes opened wide as if in shock, his sharingan tomoe spinning slowly. "Well, I didn't know that. Except I do now. What kind of idiot insults his teammate in front of a potential enemy? Are you stupid?"

"Surely, even your eyes can spot a loser without too much effort," Neji shot back coldly. "I've told you nothing you shouldn't have figured out on your own. But, I guess the Uchiha are overhyped. Unlike you, these eyes miss nothing."

Sasuke started to glare back, his shoulders tensing and his hands tightening on his hoe… then he relaxed.

"Your eyes are overrated as well. At least OUR Hyuga didn't graduate without noticing and killing the traitor in our midst," he said smugly. "But maybe it's a main family thing."

Neji's eyes grew as cold as an arctic wind, and for one gleeful moment Sasuke thought he was actually going to attack him. His sharingan spun quickly, not missing a single nuance of the angle of Neji's joints or the tension in his muscles.

Without a word, Neji picked up his rake, turned, and started walking towards the other corner of their assigned stretch of field.

Sasuke watched him go for a moment before shrugging and resuming his own work.

"Hn, I guess I owe Hinata a coke."

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"Got the short straw, huh?" Naruto asked ironically as he and Tenten went to their designated corner, which happened to be in between the ones Lee and Hinata and Neji and Sasuke had been sent to. Clearly, Gai knew he needed to keep Neji and Hinata apart without his immediate supervision. "Listen, I'm sorry for my comments earlier. I really was the dead last in the academy, but I've studied hard since then and I want people to know it."

Tenten sighed. He really did appear contrite. And, hell, it was sort of impressive, him knowing stuff like that. Really sick and disturbing, but impressive, in a way. "No, it's alright," she replied.

He leaned forward and cocked his head sideways, peering at her intently, balancing his hoe across his back. "You just seemed kind of disappointed."

She shrugged. "I guess I did kind of want to spend some time around Hinata, see what she was like. I've been stuck with nothing but boys for so long that I think you're all rotting my brain."

Naruto snickered. "Wanted some girl company, huh? Gotcha!" He formed a short series of seals. "Check out my sexy jutsu."

A puff of chakra smoke later and Naruko stood in his place, absurdly cute in a tattered straw coolie hat and oversized overalls that showed off her half shirt beneath. She quickly reached down and picked up a piece of leftover wheat straw and stuck it in her teeth, then shifted the hoe to a more comfortable position on her shoulder.

Tenten half laughed and half snorted in derision. "Cute henge, pervert," she said finally, sneering.

"So I'm told," Naruko said wryly. "You wanted to hang around with more girls, right? Here I am. Though I really don't know what your problem is, I mean, Neji counts as a girl, right? With the hair?"

In response, she swiped at him with the rake handle. Naruko obligingly turned back into a guy when she was hit.

"No?" Naruto asked, spitting out the straw. "Well, sorry. Just trying to walk a mile in your shoes, you know, since I sort of criticized you earlier, I felt like I owed it to you."

"You see me as a farmer girl?" Tenten asked as they reached their designated corner and started chopping at the grass, him on the inside, her on the out. By unspoken mutual agreement, they worked backwards, using the natural arc of their tools to peel off the layer of flammable vegetation.

"Ah, no, you are the very picture of a kunoichi," Naruto replied quickly as he scraped off the top layer of grass and flung it back into the field with each stroke. "Most farmer girls don't carry around three dozen different weapons hidden in their clothes."

"Noticed that, did you?" she asked.

"You hide them well, but Hinata… well, you know how it is with a byakugan user on your team. Incredibly handy when you wonder what weapons someone is carrying or you get into an argument with Sasuke over the color of a waitress's bra or something like that." He shrugged.

Tenten raked in silence for a moment, then exploded. "She doesn't tell you things like that!" she cried in a tone that said that Hinata had _better_ not be using her bloodline limit to settle perverted arguments between _boys_.

Naruto laughed. "No, no, she doesn't. But it's fun to make you think she does."

Tenten glared at him. "I didn't believe you, anyway."

He grinned mischievously. "Sure you did. For a minute there, you totally believed it."

Tenten opened her mouth, then closed it again. Finally, she admitted, "Yeah, alright, smart ass." She grinned. "But just wait until I tell Hinata the rumors you're spreading about her."

"Hah!" Naruto said with a whoop, flinging a clump of grass especially far. "That's the way to do it! I just wanted you to loosen up, that's all. Sure, we're all heartless killers, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends." He quieted. "But if you want to get me in trouble with my girlfriend, you'll have to do better than that. Unlike some Hyuga who shall remain nameless, like Neji, Hinata actually has a sense of humor."

"Fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, burn in hell," Tenten chanted back dismissively. "I'm still telling her."

Naruto stopped hoeing for a moment in shock, and Tenten actually got ahead of him by several feet before he resumed his work at a much more furious pace to catch up. He glanced back at her and noted the positively smug grin on her face.

"Nice," he admitted. "I didn't see that coming. I guess you're the smart one of the team."

Tenten rolled her eyes. "Of course. I'm the girl."

"Still not gonna make Hinata mad, though," he replied. "I know she's kind of quiet and all right now, but that's Neji's fault. I mean, the guy has been making her life a living hell for as long as she can remember. I'd be kind of wary around someone who actively tries to hurt me, too."

"He can't be that bad," she protested, feeling the need to stick up for her teammate. "I know he's kind of stiff, but he has his reasons. I wouldn't want to be some sort of blood servant to someone who just happened to be born under a different father, either."

"True," Naruto replied easily. "I don't imagine I'd be all that happy about it, either. But he's a bully. He doesn't pick on Hanabi, Hinata's younger sister, even though she treats him worse, because he knows she won't put up with it. She'll just activate that seal they put on him and hit him where it hurts." He glanced at her, noting the doubtful expression on her face. "No, he saves all his little hurts and derision and uses them on Hinata, who swore long ago that she'd never use that branch seal against him, or any of the other Hyuga. Why? Because she's 'weak', because she won't act exactly like the main family members he hates so much?"

Tenten shook her head. "Look, I'm not saying he's not a jerk sometimes, I mean, he's got a huge chip on his shoulder anyone can see, but he's not a bad guy."

Naruto shrugged. "I'm not saying he's a bad guy, but he is a bully, and if he keeps picking on Hinata, he's gonna get hurt."

She bit her lip. "Listen, Naruto, I know you know what the Hyuga can do…"

"Yeah. Gentle fist style, plus chakra blocking techniques and shape manipulation. Hinata's shown me. Plus whatever other tricks he's picked up."

"Neji is really strong," she blurted. "He's the strongest on our team. He's a genius, really. He picks up techniques fast and he's really vicious about using them."

Naruto worked for a minute more, thinking about that, then turned and gave Tenten a bright smile.

"Thanks, and I mean that. But it'll be okay. He's just like a slightly girlier, less of an asshole version of Sasuke, right? I can handle him."

"Slightly… LESS of an asshole?" Tenten replied incredulously. "Neji?"

"Oh, sure. Sasuke's all on good behavior right now, but let me tell you, that guy has a serious bug up his ass. Hates everyone and everything. Thinks he's better than everyone. And the really irritating thing is, he's usually right," Naruto said sourly, before brightening. "As for less girlie, it's the hair. Sasuke has terrible hair, while Neji's got some serious conditioner action going on. I wonder if we could get Neji to give him some hair care tips? That'd be awesome."

Tenten gaped at him, a smile tugging at her lips.

"Except, he'd probably just mope and act all depressed about it, but damn, I don't care if he does have to admit Neji is better at him at something, do something about the hair, man."

Tenten started giggling. "You did NOT just say that!"

Naruto looked around wildly for a moment. "Shit, is he behind me? No? Oh, that's a relief. I was making fun of his hair to Hinata one day and he walked up behind me when I wasn't looking."

She giggled again.

He shuddered, a full body quiver that made it all the way down to the end of his hoe. "He beat me until I cried," he whispered, as if sharing some horrible secret.

She laughed at his horror and pain. "Well, at least he doesn't spend fifteen minutes brushing it every morning, and get positively snippy if you mention it," she countered in between laughs.

Naruto shrugged, dropping his abused child act in a heartbeat. "Fifteen minutes doesn't sound so bad."

Tenten shook her head. "He's a Hyuga, he's got those really fast hand techniques. I swear, he must be doing like six thousand strokes or something."

Naruto cracked up at the idea of Neji using the 64 palms techniques to brush his hair and was unable to speak for laughing for several minutes.

"And you should hear his rants about destiny," she continued. "I'm seriously expecting a monologue on how it was fated that you would come and ruin his enjoyment of his favorite breakfast food."

Naruto kept laughing, paused his hoeing long enough to wipe at his eyes, then looked at her. "Destiny, huh?"

"You haven't heard? He's obsessed. Just hang around long enough, I'm sure he'll elaborate. It's one of his less endearing qualities," she said with a sigh.

"Didn't know that. He must save it for people he trusts," Naruto replied.

"Yes," she agreed. She stopped and just looked at him, holding him with her gaze for several moments. "He may be an asshole, but he's _our_ asshole."

After another moment, Naruto inclined his head towards her slightly, and they resumed their work.

"Just between us, though," she began. "Is that true, what you said about the poppyseed? Because I like those."

He grinned at her and took a chance. "Nah, the cake is a lie. I had Hinata spike his tea this morning."

She laughed.

"You gonna tell him?" he asked, one eyebrow raised.

She made a big show of thinking about it, her head cocked sideways, cutely looking up. "Mmm… nah. He's our asshole, but he _is_ an asshole. Let him figure it out."

"You're awesome," he replied in a slightly wondering tone. _And you actually understand what I've been doing. _

She laughed again and lightly bumped him with her hip as they continued making the firebreak. "Now I bet talk like _that_ will get you in trouble with your girlfriend. It's not all that many outsiders that get to date a Hyuga, much less an heir."

_Holy shit,_ Naruto thought wonderingly as he realized she was flirting with him.

He thought about that for a while.

About five minutes later, he started chuckling quietly under his breath. "And Neji probably thinks he's the team leader, doesn't he?"

"Huh?" Tenten replied, distracted.

He looked at her. "You're the real team leader, right?" he repeated more plainly.

She blinked at him. "No… Neji is way stronger than I am."

It was Naruto's turn to blink. "What, you mean… seriously? You… No, come on, you can tell me. I won't say anything."

She was silent a moment, then gave him a puzzled look. "I don't understand. Why would you think I was the team leader?"

Naruto's mind raced.

_She's clearly the leader, but she says she's not. _

_Either she's lying, or…_

_She doesn't know?_

_How could she not know? _

_The other two are simpletons compared to her!_

_But…_

_Wait._

_I've spent all this time thinking about how to get what we want._

_I forgot to take the other player into account. _

_It's not about us._

_It was never about us._

Abruptly, his eyes widened, and he turned to look in Gai's direction, finding him down by Lee and Hinata, talking excitedly to them. Almost as if he sensed Naruto's gaze, he turned his head to look his direction, only barely visible at that distance, and stuck out both hands, apparently giving the thumbs up. There might have been a split second flash, of sunlight on blindingly white teeth.

Naruto's shoulders slumped.

"Freaking elite jounin and their freaking mind games," Naruto mumbled with bitter amusement.

"What are you talking about?" Tenten demanded. "You keep mumbling things that don't make any sense."

He straightened, looked at her, and gave her a cheap copy of Gai's smile and thumbs up. "Do not worry, Tenten. Everything will be alright, and we will all learn the lessons we are meant to."

"What? That doesn't explain anything!" she insisted. "And we're going to end up doing a lot of squats if you don't hoe while you talk!"

He grinned at her. "Not a problem. I'm tired of doing things the old fashioned way. I'm going to start doing things my way. Haven't you heard? I'm Naruto Uzumaki, the one man army! Taju kage bunshin no jutsu!"

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

"Wow, that is a useful technique," Tenten marveled as something like four hundred Narutos, each brandishing its own hoe, swarmed over the field, dirt and grass and wheat stubble flying as they worked. They were noisy, too, with excited yells and cries to 'move!' and curses flying back and forth. It was orange chaos.

"You have no idea," Naruto assured her as a somewhat dumbfounded Lee, as well as Gai and Hinata, made their way over.

"I see Naruto-kun has decided to work smarter, not harder," Gai commented. "That is quite an admirable thought, but be careful that your clever ways do not undermine the development of your youthful body."

Naruto thought about that, blinked, then thought about it some more.

_Crap, I'm going to lie awake tonight, thinking about everything he said today, just like I do with Kakashi. I hate elite jounin mind games._

Out loud he said, "I listen to your words, Gai-sensei, and I shall do my best. I am told I am old beyond my years, a man by the standards of the village, yet still considered a child by many. I don't enjoy the uncertainty and ignorance that comes with youth, so I decided to skip a lot of the preliminary stuff and go right to the burning of enlightenment."

Gai rubbed his chin for a moment, his brow furrowed. "Boys throw away their youth as if it were worthless, then spend the rest of their days chasing that most precious of things."

"Ah, but youth is wasted on the young, even I know that," he countered. "Only the old have the experience to value it. I simply wish to get old fast enough to know that I'm still young, while I am still young." Naruto paused. "I'd also really like to skip the follies of youth and go straight to the wisdom part."

Gai laughed and clapped him on the shoulder. "Not gonna happen."

Naruto looked crestfallen.

"Cheer up, Naruto-kun. Some lessons have to be learned the hard way, even when you're not sure what the lesson is," he offered kindly.

Naruto sighed. "But I know what the lesson is, I know what it's supposed to teach, are you _sure_ I can't just skip to the learning part?"

"There are no shortcuts to age or power, but youth has a power all on its own," Gai replied with an air of finality. "Oh, look, here come Sasuke-kun and Neji-kun across the field!"

Actually, they were coming across from two separate corners, with Neji having farther to walk. A veritable sea of orange had taken their section of firebreak away from them.

Tenten stared at Naruto like he'd grown a third head. "What the hell are you and Sensei talking about?"

He shrugged back sheepishly, watching how Gai patted Lee on the shoulder when the green clad boy looked at him questioningly. Hinata moved over to Naruto's side.

"Hey, Hinata?" Tenten said out loud, not taking her gaze from Naruto.

"Yes?" Hinata replied.

"Naruto said you use your byakugan to settle arguments between him and Sasuke about girl's underwear."

Hinata tilted her head down as if she were looking at the ground for a moment. Finally, she said, "That again? Sasuke looks great in dark, low cut panties but really needs ruffles up top, even if he does think they make him look unmanly. Naruto looks great in almost everything, but his insistence on orange makes him look like he's smuggling fruit in his bra."

Lee's jaw dropped in astonishment. Even Gai didn't know what to say to that.

Tenten sighed and shook her head. "Damn. Alright, Naruto, I admit it, your Hyuga is funnier than our Hyuga."

"Sasuke is more of a jerk, too," he replied smugly.

"I'm not conceding that, yet," she countered.

"Well, there has to be some reason they weren't such a shining example of teamwork and cooperation," Hinata said, sounding pleased.

"Jerk? Sasuke-kun is a jerk?" Lee asked, ignoring Hinata's statement for the moment.

"I've been telling everyone that since the academy, but no one listens to me," Naruto replied, his mock bitterness belied by a smile.

"No, Lee, it's a… it's basically a joke," Tenten explained. "Like a competition, but not one you're trying to actually win."

"My asshole is bigger than yours," Naruto called out in a sing-song voice.

"Nuh unh," Tenten replied immediately.

She paused.

"Wait-"

"My students, there is no need to be so crude," Gai said reproachfully, giving an especially stern glare to Naruto.

"Sorry, Gai-sensei," they chorused. Tenten glared at the pervert as well. Naruto shrugged ruefully.

"Sasuke-kun, why were you and Neji not working together as the others did before Naruto, in his youthful eagerness, took your assigned jobs away from you?" Gai asked when Sasuke was close enough.

"There wasn't room at one corner for me, him, and his ego," Sasuke replied evenly.

Gai frowned. "Sasuke-kun, you know you need to learn to work with others on a mission, even if you don't personally like them."

Sasuke shrugged. "He walked off first."

On the other side of Gai, he saw Hinata mouth the words, 'you owe me a coke,' to him and carefully kept the smile off his face.

Gai just gave him a look. "Are you telling me you didn't say or do anything to make him leave?"

Sasuke shook his head. "I called him an idiot when he told me about Lee's inability to use ninjutsu or genjutsu, which was an attempt to get me to fight him after I said I'd like to spar with Lee."

Naruto let himself jerk slightly with surprise. "He what?"

"You'd like to fight me?" Lee repeated in surprise.

"Not now," Gai said. "And why did you insult him?"

Sasuke raised one eyebrow. "I had no idea Lee could not use ninjutsu or genjutsu, and for all he knows, I'm an enemy. To give away critical weaknesses like that goes beyond simple stupidity and borders on actual betrayal."

"And I will talk to Neji-kun about it later," Gai replied. "But there was no need to be insulting. I think you'll find that my teaching style is somewhat different from Kakashi's."

"If I may, Sensei?" Naruto said, stepping forward. "I think, actually, that's the problem. On our team, an insult isn't just an insult."

Sasuke heard the hidden message loud and clear.

_Damage control time, play along._

"It's a carefully crafted expression of our purest loathing for each other," Sasuke added helpfully.

"Not _helping_, Sasuke," Naruto hissed, meaning the complete opposite. "Really, though, we all made friends by punching each other in the face and insulting each other. A lot." He paused as Neji walked up, cool and aloof and looking at the assembled group with mostly concealed curiosity.

_The poor sap,_ Naruto thought, not unkindly. _He has no idea the forces arrayed against him. I don't mind that you're an asshole, Neji, but Hinata will always come first._

Continuing, he turned to Hinata and said out loud, "Hey, what was the first thing you did when we first met?"

"Fainted," Hinata said dryly.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "After that."

"Hit you in the ear with a gentle fist strike. You punched me in the face the next day. It took about two weeks before I hit you in the face."

"And we've been great friends ever since," Naruto said brightly, beaming. "I mean, look at Sasuke, the bastard. I must have hit him in the face a hundred times or better."

"Forty-three successful punches," Sasuke clarified.

"Well, okay, maybe not a hundred," Naruto admitted.

"-to my own record of one hundred and eighty-nine successful strikes to his face, plus one absolutely beautiful axe kick to the back of his head," Sasuke continued modestly.

"Shut up, Sasuke," Naruto growled. "It's just that when we have something to say to each other, we usually say it as an insult. We may argue-"

"He gets so mad when I leave the toilet seat up," Sasuke added innocently.

"-but it's just our way of reinforcing team bonds. YousuckSasuke. This is probably the source of a lot of the tension between our two teams." He gave them a winning smile.

"That and the sexual tension," Sasuke couldn't help but add.

"Naruto," Tenten began, giving Sasuke an appraising look.

"Mmm?"

"Do you honestly believe a word of what you just said?"

"Only in the sense I'm really ready to reinforce some bonds with my teammate here," Naruto said through gritted teeth.

Tenten and Lee both laughed. Sasuke smirked, and Hinata stood impassively. Neji eyed Team Seven with thinly veiled contempt.

"Hmm. Perhaps that is the issue," Gai said thoughtfully, holding his chin. "In any case, let us treat each other with more politeness. We are all a team, and no team has time for internal strife on a mission."

"Yes, Gai-sensei," they all chorused.

"Are jokes still allowed?" Naruto asked hopefully.

Gai grinned abruptly. "Are they youthful jokes?"

Naruto grinned back. "Very youthful, Gai-sensei." He looked up as his clones started dispersing. "Hey, firebreak is done, and it only took a half hour! We can burn this thing and do some more training!"

"Yosh!" Lee cried. "I like the way you think, Naruto-kun! Many hands make light work, but that frees up time for self improvement!"

"You're absolutely right, Lee-kun!" Naruto replied. "Let's burn the fields and shake the salt."

He paused and looked at them.

"Someone did bring the salt, right?"

Gai beamed and produced a small table shaker from one of the pockets of his vest.

"Gai-sensei is always prepared," Lee assured Naruto.

"…I can see that." Regaining his composure, he said, "Sasuke, if you will do us the honor? Fire this country up."

"But what about the little birds and animals that make the field their home?" Neji asked innocently.

Lee's eyes widened. There were rabbits and sparrows and little mice running or hopping through the stubble, searching out the last of the leftover grain. In fact, once you actually looked, the ground seemed to seethe with a carpet of squeaking, chewing animals greedily gorging themselves on the remains of the harvest. What wasn't enough to bother with for the farmers was enough to pull in thousands of lower creatures.

"No, wait! The little animals!" Lee cried, waving his hands frantically.

"What about them?" Sasuke asked.

"Roast rabbit for lunch?" Naruto said thoughtfully.

"The field is full of all sorts of furry little woodland friends that will die in horrible burning grainy agony!" Lee insisted. "It will be a wheatastrophy!"

"No, no, you're looking at it all wrong, Lee," Naruto replied. "Sparrow rolled in cracked wheat! Rat on toast!" He paused. "Gimme a minute, I'll think of some more."

"That is so unyouthful, Naruto," Lee said reproachfully.

"They're _animals_," Sasuke said, in some confusion as to what the fuss was.

"Now, my students. There is an important lesson to be learned here, which is why I picked this mission," Gai said placatingly. "You have to understand the nature of fire."

They all looked at him attentively.

"We live in the Country of Fire. Fire is very important to our way of life, our philosophy as ninja. You see, fire is destruction. It is wild and willful, hungry and all consuming. But it can also be focused tight and hot like a single ray of sunshine, and be used with exquisite precision. It's easy to see the destructive powers of fire. Some," and he did not look at Sasuke and Naruto, "may mistakenly focus on that destruction and see it as the desirable outcome. That would be short sighted."

Lee looked happier.

"Others have the heart and compassion to look past the burning flames and see that which they would consume." He smiled and patted Lee's shoulder. "That's very noble."

Lee beamed.

"But it's a misguided nobility, I'm afraid."

Lee didn't look so happy. He stared up at his sensei questioningly.

"You see, this field has been harvested. Yes, there are still animals here, living off the discarded bounty, but it is ultimately to their detriment. The wheat is dead and gone, and what will they eat when they have picked the last grain?" He fixed them all with a look. "No, the true shinobi must understand that fire does not leave just destruction in its wake. It leaves fertile soil for a new crop to grow in. The farmer knows this, which is why the field is burned before it is planted again." He beamed at them all. "And that is how it is for us as shinobi. In a mission, you may be called to destroy, and all too often it is lives that you will be destroying. It is wrong to simply see the death as the goal, as that is a terribly unyouthful thing to do. But neither must you let a generous heart stop you from doing the things you must do. Always, your mind must be on the results which may grow from the burned field. If cutting down a mighty tree makes needed farmland, that is a duty you must accept." He looked at Lee, whose eyes brimmed with unshed tears of enlightenment.

"Yes, Gai-sensei," Lee whispered.

Gai looked up at the rest of them. "But, always remember, it took more than just a lifetime to make that tree. Do not cut unless you are sure of the need."

They nodded.

"So, Sensei, are we the farmer, or his tools?" Naruto asked.

"A most penetrating question, Naruto-kun," Gai replied, pleased. "It is true that some ninja are nothing but tools, cutting and destroying without care, directed by their masters. But we in Konoha rejected that. Sometimes, we act as tool. Does not the farmer build roads when called by their lord?"

They nodded.

Gai smiled. "But the farmer is still a farmer, not a tool. So, my youthful ones, I tell you, grow up, and be farmers of men."

The fire of passion in Lee's eyes was, for once, actually outmatched.

Naruto fully intended to be a farmer of men.

He beamed at them proudly. "And now, my growing crop of students, it is decided. We shall clear the fields of innocents before we burn it."

"Yosh!" Lee and Naruto cried together.

"Wait, what?" Naruto said a second later. The others looked rather surprised.

"Yes, my students!" he cried, getting into the spirit of it. "It will be good training! It will take precision and speed to catch the mice and rabbits that feast on the grain, and endurance to run them into the woods, let them go unharmed, and return for more! To that end, I must insist, Naruto-kun, while your jutsu is indeed quite useful, that you do not use it."

Naruto just looked bewildered. What happened to burning the field mice because the destruction was part of the greater good?

"First, we shall have a hearty lunch!" Gai proclaimed. "And then we shall train our youthfulness to the fullest! I will ensure that none of the animals return to the field while you six evacuate the inhabitants. We will save all the animals within two hours, or we will perform five hundred high kicks!"

"Yes, Gai-sensei!" Lee cried enthusiastically. "And if we cannot perform five hundred high kicks, we shall do one thousand pushups!"

"That's it, Lee!" Gai replied happily. "And if we cannot do one thousand pushups, we shall run three hundred laps around Konoha!"

Hinata spoke up in the same breathless excited tone they had been using. "And if we cannot run three hundred laps around Konoha, we shall beat Gai-sensei to death with a rock!"

"Yosh," Naruto, Sasuke, and, surprisingly, Tenten replied.

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

"I knew this was gonna suck," Tenten admitted after the fourth mouse bit her. She carefully resisted the urge to crush it in her fist as she shifted her grip to keep its head pinned. Gai probably wouldn't notice… But you could never be sure.

"Should have controlled your teammate better," Sasuke said neutrally as he stood up with a struggling rabbit in his hands, having ran near as he chased it.

"Why do people keep assuming I'm the team leader?" she asked angrily, rounding on him.

He blinked. "You're not?"

"No!"

He shrugged, then left to deposit the rabbit in the woods.

xxx

Neji stood motionless in his own section of field, his byakugan activated as he searched the area for potential casualties. Then, having picked out several targets, he blurred into motion, snatching five tiny mice and one large field rat off the ground, keeping them pinned gently but firmly between his fingers.

He passed Hinata as he jogged to the woods to release the furry evacuees. She had her hitai-ate slid up, revealing both her eyes and the pale pink mass of scar tissue of her choushijiro, the white veins around her eyes, and also had two rats dangling by their tails in her left hand.

"So what use do you fill on the team?" Neji asked her quietly as he passed. "The Uchiha has his fire and Uzumaki has his clones, while you appear just as unremarkable as ever."

He met Gai briefly in the woods, dropped his rodents gently on the forest floor, then returned.

Hinata met him as she headed towards the woods with her own load, somewhat defiantly brandishing three mice and two more rats in addition to the ones he'd already saw her with.

"Running past six little ones to catch one big one does not make you better at your task," Neji pointed out dismissively.

Hinata jerked like she'd been slapped. "Well then, cousin, shall we see who can clear the most area?"

He didn't even slow down. "The conclusion is forgone," were his departing words.

She didn't quite snarl. "We will see." She hurried to get rid of her load. She had a branch member to put in his place.

xxx

"Lee, I know this is training and all," Naruto began loudly, calling to the green clad bow as he chased a rabbit, "but I'm going to be honest with you. I'm not real happy about having to chase fuzzy little critters instead of practicing a new jutsu or something." He paused, then put on a falsely contrite face. "Oh, sorry, that must be a sore subject with you."

Lee frowned at him, gently cradling a rogue, extremely bold squirrel he'd caught. "Did you not listen to Gai-sensei? It is wrong to focus on the destruction aspects of fire. You should be thinking about the opportunities for re-creation."

Naruto grinned, holding a struggling mouse up by the tail. "Believe me, Lee, burning a bunch of irritating vermin alive _is_ my idea of recreation."

It took Lee a moment to get the pun, but by that time Naruto had already left with his load.

xxx

Naruto slowed near Hinata as she practically ran across the field, stooping now and then to grab at something small and beady-eyed.

"Enthusiastic much?" he asked, running alongside and herding a rat her direction, which she quickly scooped up.

"I intend to cover more ground than Neji," she said hurriedly.

He glanced at her uncovered eyes worriedly. "Are you getting low on chakra?"

"Not… yet," she said between rapid breaths.

Naruto frowned. "Well, I'll keep checking on you."

"Yes."

xxx

Sasuke paused abruptly, standing over a seemingly bare patch of ground, then his hand darted down. He pulled up a meter and a half long snake by its head, its mottled tan and brown scales making it blend in perfectly with the stubble. Snakes have no interest in grain, but three noticeable lumps in its middle told of what had attracted it to the harvest.

"Hn, interesting," he said with barely concealed pleasure. The snake wrapped its body around his arm as he quickly ran across the field, his free hand stopping twice to grab a mouse and a short tailed vole.

His chase had coincidentally taken him near Lee, but only because Naruto was near as well.

"I don't really mind clearing the field first," he told Naruto loud enough for Lee to hear.

Lee perked up slightly.

"I mean, I'd have hated to burn this guy," he added, indicating the snake. "It's much more humane to release him and these rats in the woods."

Naruto grinned. "You're a compassionate soul, Sasuke. It's really very thoughtful of you to release the little woodland creatures together."

"Yes," he admitted, dangling the mouse in front of the snake's head.

Its tongue flickered out, tasting the air.

"Together."

Lee made a strangled noise and ran for the trees with an armload of his little friends.

Naruto chuckled and looked at Sasuke, who was still teasing the snake with the dangling mouse.

"You're a magnificent bastard, Sasuke," he said admiringly.

Sasuke smiled back with a glint in his eyes. "Thanks. I'd do it anyway, but you know, it really gives me a warm feeling inside to know that it benefits the team."

xxx

"Are you okay?" Naruto asked as he jogged by.

"Yes," Hinata replied.

xxx

"What are you hurrying so much for?" Tenten asked as Neji ran by for the fifteenth time.

"Training," was his only reply.

She snorted indelicately. "Yeah. Training. Right."

xxx

"Competing with Neji?" Sasuke asked on his return.

"Yes," was all Hinata had time to say as she used her byakugan to pick out the most efficient route that would leave her with the largest load of animals.

Sasuke frowned, turning to watch the long haired Hyuga glide across the field with smooth, fast movements that didn't waste energy or time, his hands a blur as he grabbed at the ground. "He's fast."

"Yes," Hinata replied, sounding a little strained.

Sasuke watched Neji a moment longer, then looked at Hinata. "He's faster than you," he said bluntly.

"Yes," she ground out, dropping a rat as she all but juggled the animals, only to snatch it out of the air before it could hit the ground. Unfortunately, the change in placement allowed it, and two other small rodents, to bite her. She ignored them and moved to the next target.

Sasuke frowned. "Want me to sabotage him?"

"No," she snapped.

"Your movements are slowing," he added helpfully.

"I know."

He shrugged and went on his way.

xxx

"So not being able to use ninjutsu or genjutsu… that must have made passing the academy really hard," Naruto mused as, once again, he orbited near Lee. "I had some trouble, too, so I actually do kinda understand."

"It was difficult," Lee admitted. "I had to work very hard to develop my taijutsu to the point they would pass me on it alone."

Naruto gave him a smile. "That's actually pretty cool. You must be a hell of a taijutsu specialist."

"If you would like to spar sometime, I would like that very much, Naruto-kun," Lee replied, giving the blond an answering smile.

"So how are you going to fix that weakness?" Naruto asked.

"What do you mean?" Lee replied, confused.

Naruto blinked, then looked puzzled as well. "I mean, your inability to use ninjutsu. That's a weakness. There will almost certainly come a day when you're faced by a ninjutsu or genjutsu that can't be defeated with taijutsu. You should put as much hard work into learning ninjutsu as you do taijutsu."

"I put hard work into it," Lee replied sparing the boy a wounded glance before he darted sideways and grabbed another mouse. "I just have no talent for ninjutsu. I get it right sometime, but out of a thousand tries I might only get one success."

Naruto scoffed. "So it's taking you a while to learn. Okay, maybe you're not a genius with it like you are in taijutsu-"

"I am not a genius, Naruto-kun," Lee insisted once again, then stopped and relaxed his grip on the mouse when it squeaked in pain. "Not everyone is born a genius like Sasuke-kun or Neji-kun, but that doesn't make me useless. I got where I am through hard work."

Naruto shook his head, carefully arranging three mice so they dangled by their tails from between the fingers of his left hand. "Everyone has to work hard, Lee-kun," he replied dismissively. "You think Sasuke got where he is by being lazy? Genius doesn't work that way."

Lee looked at him curiously.

Naruto gestured expansively, setting the mice to swaying back and forth as they scrabbled to get a grip on one another. "No, look. Genius means you gain more for the work you put into it. Sasuke can put less work into something than a non-genius to get to the same level. But if he wants to be as good as he can be, he has to work hard, too. And because he does work hard, just like you do, just like I do, and Hinata, and Tenten and I'm sure Neji, Sasuke gets really far. Being a genius means he does it quicker. Most people could get to his level, if he stopped improving."

He shrugged. "But Sasuke isn't going to stop working hard. And that means he'll always be better than other people who aren't geniuses like him." He waved at his teammate as he came closer. "Right, Sasuke?"

"Right," Sasuke said. "So what am I agreeing to?"

Lee's eyes lit with an inner fire, and he paused to thrust a fist up in determination. "I believe that I can show that a non-genius can beat a genius through hard work!"

Sasuke looked at him, one eyebrow raised, then turned away, not even dignifying the statement with a 'hn'.

Naruto laughed quietly. "Lee, Lee, you don't seem to understand. You can beat a genius with hard work, if the genius is lazy and doesn't bother doing anything. But if the genius works as hard as you are, because he's a genius he will get farther. And any genius knows that to be good, he has to work hard. So, with taijutsu, because you're apparently a genius whether you think you are or not, you'll be better than those of us who don't have as much talent even if we work as hard as you do. But in an area where you have no talent yourself, a genius will beat you no matter what you do."

Lee was frowning, but not overly upset. He had faced the naysayers all his life. "Well, I believe I will, and believing is the first step to achieving! I believe in me, whether you do or not!"

Naruto shrugged. "People believe all kinds of things. There are people who worship the Buddha and those who stay Shinto. Crazy people believe they hear voices in their heads. Superstitious people believe you shouldn't step on cracks, or that you'll sneeze when someone talks about you behind your back. Stupid people believe all kinds of weird crap, like in toadstool fairies and love potions and human decency."

Lee looked shocked.

Naruto abruptly gave him a thumbs up and a grin. "But that's okay, Lee, because people can keep believing stuff like that. Keep believing in yourself, dude!"

He looked hurt for a moment, then his back stiffened and he turned away without another word.

They watched him go, noting the tension in his wiry frame.

Sasuke turned to Naruto. "You're a horrible person, Naruto."

Naruto beamed. "Only on the inside."

xxx

xxx


	17. Memories Lie: eight

Hinata glared weakly as her infernal cousin seemed to dance across the field, his every movement as precise as if he'd spent a lifetime learning it as a kata.

At this point, she was reduced to almost stumbling, as the combined chakra drain of constant byakugan use, running, and her already very low reserves sapped her strength and vitality.

Hinata had been aware of Neji's hatred for her since she was very young. At first, she didn't understand it, and had tried to make friends with her older cousin by being extra nice. But as time went on, that just seemed to make it worse, until finally she got the hint and avoided him when possible.

Naruto, in his relentless questioning of her, had found out about all that. He'd shown her how to take her hurt feelings over her family and turn them into a core of icy hate that could fuel her determination even as her determination drove her body. She had to have an emotion that drove her, and her pathetic excuse for wanting approval hadn't been enough. Anger made her strong, stronger than she ever could have been by just wanting.

It had changed everything she thought about her cousin. Guided by Naruto's plan to make her family think they had been played from the very beginning, and not just from the middle as was actually the case, she continued to be pathetic, outwardly. Inwardly, she rebelled, seeing her family, owners of a bloodline that was supposed to let them see through all deception, as an actual enemy. How else could she, could _they_, justify not seeing that she was stronger than she let on? For a people who were supposed to believe their eyes above all, their belief in her failure was great enough to outweigh everything.

And why? What had she done to earn their contempt? Being nice to them? Not using their seals to hurt them when they were snide to her? And her father? What had she done that was so horrible in his eyes? Cried over the loss of her mother? Been shy? Of course she'd been shy, when everyone in her family was against her.

Naruto's guidance had given her a new way to think, but it had also made the continued contempt from her family almost unbearable. Yes, they were supposed to continue to dismiss her. That was good, at least, it was according to the plan. But no longer did her defensive mannerisms shield her from their negativity. She had to, she was forced to open herself to them, to notice and think on every slight they gave her, to brood and sulk over it, even if it was only in her mind.

Only one thing saved her, as it was meant to.

Her absolute conviction that she was better than they knew, that, when the time was right, she would rise up and dominate them all.

So for months, every time Neji had sneered at her, she had comforted herself with the knowledge that, when they finally clashed, he wouldn't be sneering any more. She would shock him by being not just better than he thought, but better than he'd ever dreamed.

Hinata snarled and tore through the earth with a savage sweep of hooked fingers, peeling back a layer of dirt and revealing one extremely startled rat in a subterranean nest, only to grab it the second it was revealed with dirt and blood stained fingers.

Neji was better than her.

Still.

He was faster, smoother, using his greater stamina and longer reach to cover ground faster and more efficiently than she. He did not miss. He also did not waste time checking on her progress, either because he was truly not competing, and she knew better than that, or because he was perfectly confident in his superiority.

Just like she had been in her own.

Hinata was no fool. She knew she had lost time, precious seconds, when she had stopped to watch him. It didn't matter. Neji was faster than her, and he was also moving with unhurried grace, blatantly displaying that he was better than he showed and he didn't care who knew it.

Or he wanted everyone, especially her, to know it.

Sasuke's blunt assessment had been absolutely right, not that she needed an Uchiha to point out the obvious.

_Neji was better than she was._

That was a serious blow to the conviction that had enabled her to endure her family.

There was one thing she could comfort herself with. Neji was in top form. She, on the other hand, was exhausted, constantly low on chakra, and couldn't make her vision revert to normal. Hardly ideal situations for a competition. A loss was a loss, but she'd like to think that, on equal ground, she was at least his equal.

But, was that really true? What if it really was all just wishful thinking? What if there really was no way she'd be able to beat Neji, no matter how hard she worked? She burned to test her full abilities against him.

Just to see.

Just to know.

Because she didn't think she could handle the doubt, now that she was aware of it.

What she needed was more chakra.

She needed…

Naruto.

xxx

"Sasuke, are you picking on Lee?" Tenten demanded. "Lee hasn't done anything to deserve being picked on."

Sasuke shrugged. "Just a little team bonding."

"I'll tell Naruto on you," she warned.

Sasuke didn't burst out laughing. He was pretty proud of that.

Imagine it.

Wow.

Did she have the wrong idea about Team Seven.

xxx

Almost completely alone on the field, Neji did his job with precision and skill, much discussed, but not addressed.

Neji reflected that the day was looking better.

xxx

"Naruto," Hinata said, falling into step beside him as he went to the woods to deposit more furry creatures. Between the six of them, they'd already covered nearly a third of the fields.

"Hinata?" he asked, only to quickly get a flash of the hand sign for 'follow'.

Quickly, the two dropped off their animals under the watchful eye of Gai, who appeared long enough to herd the rodents away from the fields, then returned to their tasks.

Once out of probable earshot, Hinata brought up her issue.

"Naruto, I'm almost completely exhausted. I need some of your chakra," she said without preamble.

He shook his head immediately. "Hinata, we do not need to escalate this. It's just a field. I know your reserves are a problem, but at this stage, weakness is good, right?"

She shook her head. "I need to know who is better, Neji or I. I admit I cannot compete with him as I am right now, so I need your help. Please, Naruto-sama." Though she asked politely, there was no pleading in her voice. Naruto didn't like pleading, she'd learned early on.

"Hinata, that's a really bad idea," he replied patiently. "The Hokage himself forbid me from letting you or Sasuke use that summoning technique to get my chakra. Last time you got a piece of the Nine-tails, you killed people."

"They deserved it," Hinata replied reasonably.

Naruto smirked. "Well, yeah. But, Hinata, we DO NOT WANT to kill Neji. Right?"

She didn't say anything.

"Riiiight…?" he pressed.

"…Right," she admitted. "Not kill, exactly." She turned more serious. "Naruto-sama, I need this. This competition… it's… it's important." She paused.

"It's a _goal_."

He winced. "Hinata, I-"

She pinned him with a look, featureless white eyes boring into his.

Oh, god. He'd always loved her eyes. They were so different from anyone elses, white and pure and peircing, pools of liquid power.

"Naruto…" she whispered. "In that cave, lying on that bloody stone altar… we made a contract. A blood pact."

"It might kill you," he replied, closing his eyes lest she read the indecision in them.

She shook her head. "I won't die. Remember, though? That time in the woods when we were still in the academy? I support you in all things." Reluctantly, feeling the wave of exhaustion cresting in her body, she pulled her hitai-ate down and resealed her eyes, subtly reminding him of what her support had cost her.

He pressed his hand to his face. "And I will support you."

She pulled his hand down, forcing him to look at her. His blue eyes were dark and pained, his skin taut and his pulse racing.

"Naruto… you owe this to me."

He broke. Nodding, he sighed. "I support you in all things, Hinata. You know how to do the jutsu?"

She nodded. "Sasuke showed me." There was no smile on her face as she solemnly put her thumb in her mouth, ignoring the numerous little bites, and drew fresh blood for the sacrifice.

The blood flowed as she made the seals.

Naruto took the moment to look around. The sun was high in the sky, with only a few fluffy white clouds to dot the blue. The day was pretty and warm, with no wind to rustle the trees. Birds wheeled in the sky or chirped and hopped along the ground. They'd made no special effort to run off the birds, since they'd be quick to fly from any fire anyway, and they just came back to areas when the people left.

Tenten and Sasuke worked near each other, Sasuke heading off at a tangent. Lee was near to them as well, though on the other side of Tenten, running back and forth with considerable speed. Neji worked along, keeping distance between himself and the others. Naruto wondered idly if the distance he kept from the others had anything to do with the range of his byakugan.

And then Hinata finished the technique.

The very presence of her blood hit him like a physical blow. A very, very pleasant physical blow. Everything delicious he'd ever tasted, everything rich he'd ever smelled, every touch, every feeling… Anything and everything he'd ever enjoyed crammed into an instant, the power of life itself being offered to him.

He didn't have to do anything, all he had to do was let it happen. Almost like unclenching a muscle in his body, he let the wonderful feelings flood in…

…and chakra, heavy, red, unfocused chakra flooded out, dancing across the bond that joined them.

Hinata stiffened like she'd grabbed a live wire, the immense weight of Naruto's chakra racing through her nearly depleted body like a new and particularly enthusiastic tenant, poking and pushing and rearranging things to suit. The little bites on her hands healed in moments, nearly faded strains and bruises disappeared as if they were never there, and the poisons of fatigue were swept away like dust in a storm. It was a heady rush of energy, and as it twisted and turned in her body she felt naughty and obscene. Most wonderous by far, though, was how the red chakra lept up the coils leading to her eyes. Her vision changed.

Hinata stretched, straightened, then smiled. "Thank you, Naruto-sama," she said, her voice husky.

He turned red, slit pupiled eyes on her. "You look… good," he growled in return, his own voice deeper, with an almost snarling quality to it, possibly because he was now talking through longer, sharply pointed teeth. His whisker marks had darkened and grown as well, reaching across his cheeks.

"Your eyes have changed," she said. "And your teeth, whiskers, and hands."

He held up his hands, noting how his fingernails hand lengthened and sharpened while the fingers themselves had curled and grown tougher. He looked back at her face, her eyes still covered by the metal of her hitai-ate.

"How?" he growled.

"It appears the seals in the metal cannot stop your power," she said in a slightly wondering tone, lifting the headband and peering around, then moving it back and forth to compare her vision.

Naruto looked at her changed eyes, then shook his head. "Hinata, if you can see through it, you should keep your eyes covered, or use a henge. We don't want any questions."

She smiled and left her eyes covered. "Yes, Naruto-sama. And you?"

He nodded and formed seals. "Hensou no jutsu," he whispered, and once again, he looked exactly like he usually did. He only felt different.

"Thank you, Naruto-sama. Now I can test myself against my cousin." Giving him one last smile, she darted into the field.

Naruto wondered if he hadn't just made a big mistake, but quickly shook it off.

Nothing that felt this good could possibly be bad.

xxx

Seeing that her rather standoffish teammate was avoiding everyone, again, Tenten deliberately put herself in his path.

"Yes, Tenten?" he asked.

"Have you ever woken up with a feeling of unease?" she asked. "Like, you weren't really sure, it just felt like vague forces were on the horizon conspiring against you?"

"No, I have not," he replied, unsure what she was getting at.

"Maybe you should, then," she replied, and walked off.

xxx

Hinata flickered across the field, her hands moving fast enough to be blurs even to the trained senses of her peers.

Yes!

Her fingers stabbed out, brushing specific places on the mice and rats that left them paralyzed in her hands. She was able to carry more, faster, and easier.

Yes! This was what she'd felt when Naruto had first gifted her with his power.

No longer did she have to focus her mind to spot each scurrying creature. Her feet ceased to drag and stumble despite her best efforts. This… this was power.

This was the power Naruto had shared with her.

It was glorious.

And it still wasn't enough to beat her cousin.

She snarled in frustration, splitting her concentration to compare her movements to Neji's. She was faster than she'd been, so much faster, in fact, that there was scarcely a comparison. But while she was now perhaps marginally faster than Neji, he still moved with an easy, efficient grace she did not match. And given his wide lead on her in area covered, which amounted to more than an acre swept clear, she easily saw that she would not be able to catch up to him by the time they ran out of land.

How… frustrating.

It made her mad. Mad enough to kill, though she knew she couldn't. But sometimes, just the willingness to kill can be useful.

Hinata dropped off her most recent handful of furry captives, then ran to the middle of the field and just stopped. She brought her hands together in a tori seal to aid her concentration, then let her conciousness fall inward, seeking her most horrible memories.

It was actually surprisingly easy. Her most horrible memories were also some of her most recent.

In the space of a few minutes, Hinata forced herself to relive everything that happened during and after that one heartstopping moment at the farm where the shoggoth had flowed out of the swamp and reached for them.

xxx

Both Hinata and Naruto had been confused by Sasuke's illogical behavior during their first real mission together. Despite their fights, despite one overt attempt on his life by Hinata that only Kakashi had thwarted, Sasuke refused to take either of them seriously.

It was a strange reaction.

Naruto had, of course, eventually figured it out.

Neither he nor Hinata had much in the way of killing intent.

Killing intent, the will to kill in its most refined form, had almost nothing to do with an actual ability, or indeed the action of, killing. Instead, it was a projection of spirit and psychic pressure that many fighting disciplines taught the refinement and use of. By the time a ninja made jounin, they had usually developed the ability to the point they could overwhelm, some said even kill, lesser minds. It was used as a quick way of determining strength among ninja, to figure out who would be the most likely winner without resorting to a fight that would kill or cripple one or both. A jounin with an especially strong killing intent could cow the weaker and often resolve a fight without killing at all.

Naruto, when he was very young, learned of all this. And he was also taught that the ability to manifest killing intent did not necessarily mean that the person was capable of sticking a blade somewhere important. Indeed, among most ninja, the ability to mask killing intent was far more useful, as everyone was taught the ability to sense it. Naruto threw himself into learning to mask his true feelings, and his desire to kill most especially, with zeal.

He'd also taught it to Hinata, to help her continue to fool her family.

One day, he'd reasoned, they might need to sneak up on someone they couldn't beat in a fair fight and catch them unawares. Being able to completely mask killing intent would make that much, much easier. Neither of them had yet been able to completely hide it, but they were improving.

Sasuke, on the other hand, had learned true fear at the hands of his brother, an elite jounin who'd nearly driven Sasuke insane with the strength of his presence and techniques. Sasuke, whether he knew it or not, equated killing intent with strength. So despite knowing that both Naruto and Hinata were strong, he'd still subconciously dismissed them.

With all the things that had happened to them, though, Hinata had learned a few things.

One of them was how to take all the horror she'd seen and turn it into something monstrous, then let it out.

xxx

Tenten felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up first, then a shiver ran down her spine.

Then a wave of sadness, rage, and horror hit her hard enough she physically stumbled.

It was gone the next instant, leaving her clutching her chest with now empty hands and looking around wildly.

There!

There, in the middle of the field, Hinata stood still, almost innocuously. But Tenten was no civilian, she'd been trained by some of the best. She could feel the killing intent around Hinata like some terrible thundercloud.

Hinata's killer intent was unfocused, spreading wide in all directions. Birds cried in alarm and took flight. Mice squeaked and fled, driven even from the safety of their burrows. Rats fled the terror in haste, making for the woods with all the speed they possessed.

But that wasn't all.

Hinata's eyes swept the field, and even the seals on her hitai-ate didn't dilute the power of her perception. Everything her dread gaze focused on suddenly felt the full weight of her memories.

Birds fell from the sky, their hearts stopped by the weight of Hinata's will to kill. Rabbits hopped around crazily, screaming as if they were being eaten alive. Rats and mice simply gave up and died.

Even her cousin, Neji, shivered and staggered back from the power of her projection.

Then Naruto was there, his arms wrapping around her, and Sasuke was there behind him, looking around warily, and it was all okay.

She leaned into his embrace. Her Naruto was there, and her memories fled.

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

"That was most impressive, Hinata-chan," Gai said seriously, having came out of the woods at the first sign of killing intent and watched the proceedings toed a dead rabbit with his foot. "Though, you seem to have killed more than you scared away."

"Yes, Gai-sensei, I'm sorry. It won't happen again," Hinata replied, her voice soft. She had expended a lot of spiritual energy making such an intense projection, and she was back to being exhausted, leaning against Naruto for support. However, it wasn't like the steady drain that had sapped her reserves before, and she was quickly recovering, though she didn't let it show, hoping that Gai would be softer on her if she was more pathetic.

Everyone, including Neji and Lee, had gathered around her in the center of the field.

"What the hell was that?!" Tenten wanted to know.

"Killing intent," Naruto replied reasonably, his arm around Hinata's shoulders. "We all have our gifts, right, Sasuke?"

His eyes lit up with a wicked gleam, thinking of the gifts Naruto's chakra had bestowed on him. "Hn."

"I believe what Tenten wanted to know was how you had developed the ability to manifest such a powerful killing intent," Gai explained. "Your ability to focus it interests me as well."

"I simply let myself remember my worst memories," Hinata explained.

Everyone, even her own teammates, looked at her expectantly.

No further explanation was coming.

"Wait, that's it?" Tenten asked. "That doesn't explain anything!"

Hinata shrugged. "They are very bad memories," she assured Tenten.

Tenten stared back at her, then shuddered slightly.

Naruto took the opportunity to squeeze Hinata tighter. "Well, Sensei, like you said, I didn't use my clones. But unless we want to save some rabbits for dinner, I don't think there's much point in hauling off the corpses."

Gai sighed and nodded. "Yes, I suppose you are correct, Naruto-kun. We will all be needed around the perimeter to make sure the fire does not jump the firebreak, but I give my permission to start the blaze."

Sasuke nodded. "I'll start a number of smaller fires. Hosenka no jutsu should work well for it."

Gai stared at him for a moment, his face impassive. Finally, he nodded. "That is an excellent idea, Sasuke-kun. Since everyone seems in such a hurry to finish this mission, perhaps you should use it twice for better coverage. Of course, since the initial fire will be much hotter, perhaps Naruto-kun will oblige us with more of his kage bunshin to keep it in check?"

Naruto's mind raced.

_Keep the fire in check. Clearly, Gai is warning me to not let this get out of hand. But…_

_More shadow clones?_

_Use Hosenka twice?_

_Oh. Oh! He wants us all too tired to get crazy. Interesting. _

"Yes, Gai-sensei!" He made one hundred shadow clones which spread out across the field without any prompting, then let himself lean suddenly against Hinata and Sasuke for a second, quickly straightening. "Heh, that technique will really take it out of you if you use it enough," he said with a small laugh, just by way of letting Gai know he'd understood.

They all scattered back, and Sasuke performed his jutsu, first in one direction, spewing out a volley of small fireballs, each about a foot across, which scattered across the field, hitting and instantly incinerating the stubble they came in contact with. Around the edges of each strike, though, the dry wheat straw burst into flame as the superheated air expanded, creating dozens of flaming rings which expanded outward rapidly. Then, after a moment of recovery, he turned and did it again in the other direction before running for the firebreak at a right angle to the line of fire he'd created.

Gai and two dozen of Naruto's clones ringed the farm buildings, since that was the most important thing to protect, but the rest of the Narutos, as well as the other genin, spread out between the fields and the woods. Naruto kept one whole side free of his clones, leaving himself there in his real body, along with his fellow genin, by the simple expedient of not leaving any room anywhere else. The lack of wind made the fire spread slowly in all directions, but also let the smoke rise more or less straight up where it wouldn't bother anyone except a few birds and any nearby cloud watchers.

He motioned to Sasuke and Hinata, who both came close. Together, they walked to about the midpoint of the opposite half of the line the other genin had staked out as their own.

"Hey, we got issues," he warned. "Gai-sensei says cool it. I get the feeling he's been pretty tolerant, but asking us to do pointless extra jutsu means he wants us too tired to start anymore shit, and the whole 'keep the fire in check' wasn't talking about the field."

Hinata nodded. Sasuke just stared at him for a moment.

"How in the hell do you come up with this stuff?" he demanded.

Naruto was taken aback. "What do you mean? He's a jounin like Kakashi, of course everything he says is going to have all kinds of hidden meaning to it," he said defensively. "I grew up with this stuff, Ibiki did it all the freaking time. It makes sense to me. That's why you listen to me, right?"

Sasuke shook his head slowly. "Half the time, I can't figure out if your mind is really that twisty, or you're just making this shit up as you go along."

Naruto seemed to stare right through him with a secretive grin. "I bet you're not the only one."

"So we have to play nice for the rest of the day?" Hinata asked, sounding betrayed. This was her mission at stake, after all.

"Eh…." Naruto hedged, thinking. "Gai worries me, since I don't know what he's thinking. Ibiki knew, and that still scares the hell out of me. We've got someone incredibly sneaky following us, probably ANBU, probably just to make sure we're not psycho crazy after the shit we've seen. Ibiki gave his permission, sort of, such as it is, but he may or may not have told Gai. We've just been playing around, since it relieves stress and throws off suspicion. Though you may have tipped your hand a bit to Neji when you started killing things just with the force of your power-"

"That was nice," Sasuke added to Hinata.

"But," Naruto continued, ignoring the interruption, "It also throws off even more suspicion, since the kid winning a childish insult fight is never the one who throws the first physical blow. They'll never see that coming."

She nodded.

"And while the others are too busy being shocked at how we're such huge jerks-"

"Magnificent bastards," Sasuke interrupted. "It sounds more awesome."

Naruto paused, then sighed.

"You said to be irritating," Sasuke pointed out reasonably.

Naruto opened his mouth as if to say something, closed it, then continued, ignoring Sasuke. "Well, Tenten did say they'd defend Neji, but provided we don't gang up on him, they'll probably hold back until it looks serious, and Sasuke and I can certainly hold them off long enough for you to get your hits in. Gai may not give us that space."

He paused, then looked across the field, the others following his gaze. The fire was spreading slowly, with each group of burning circles joining into one irregularly burned patch. The smoke was getting thicker as the black, burned areas spread, since most of it came from smoldering embers and didn't rise as fast as it did on the heat from the actual flames.

"This is actually a really good time to make our move," Naruto said thoughtfully. "Gai is having a conversation with one of my clones about a long term conditioning schedule, everyone's over here, and the fire and smoke should screen us from his eyes. There's no one else watching, right?"

"No," Hinata said definitely, her voice a little fast with sudden excitement.

"What about the mission?" Sasuke asked. "If we attack another team member on a mission, it's going to look bad."

"We're almost certainly going to catch hell for this," Naruto admitted, "whether we're on a mission or just training. We're going to look bad. Shinobi aren't supposed to put personal goals ahead of the mission." He sighed and looked pensive. "I hate that this is going to make us look unreliable."

"And I am truly sorry my goals conflict with what is good for the team," Hinata whispered regretfully, quickly losing her excitement. "I guess-"

Naruto's head snapped up at that tone of regret and he quickly patted her shoulders. "I'm sorry for making you feel bad about that, Hinata-chan. I don't blame you, I blame the situation. Hey, what the hell, right? We've all got goals that will take some effort and sacrifice to reach. I'm absolutely positive we'll all make enemies on the way." He shrugged, a wry little smile on his face. "No time like the present to get started." He paused, then looked worried. "In fact… Gai just told one of my clones that when we go back to Konoha, he's going to run us through the training we seem to want so much. Forms and drills, not sparring, I checked. So if today is it…" He winced and shrugged. "We need to move now."

"Today is it," Hinata confirmed. "Neji almost never mentions me unless it is derogatory, but I've shown abilities far in excess of anything I've ever done at home, where I made myself well and truly pathetic. Neji is almost certain to realize I have been concealing my skills intentionally, and he's exactly the kind of person to point it out. After our fight, I will reveal myself to my father, under my terms, no one else's'." She paused. "This is my proof that I am worthy to be clan leader."

"Right, so we have to move now," Naruto said firmly. "Sasuke, we'll need a fresh line of fire between us and Gai for extra smoke and fire. Eh… to make sure Gai doesn't come investigate anything out of the ordinary, we'll need another one first, away from the others. Something showy, I think. Then we'll move up to the other end of the field and you can do it again. Extra smoke will help. Then, Hinata can challenge Neji and lead him into the woods. We'll make sure the others follow so we can keep an eye on them, make sure Lee doesn't run off to tell Gai on us. I'll leave clones of everyone behind to make sure Gai doesn't think anything's out of the ordinary."

They nodded.

Naruto looked at Hinata seriously. "This is your show, Hinata. One fight, no interference, and none of your family anywhere around. The fight will be up to you, as you wanted. Remember, don't kill him. Sasuke and I _will_ interfere if you're about to," he warned.

_Or he's about to kill you. _Naruto left that part unsaid.

"Kick his ass, Hinata," Sasuke encouraged.

"Yeah," Naruto agreed, smiling broadly. "Otherwise we just wasted a lot of effort."

"I will," she promised. "That's part of my goal, after all."

"Right. Never lose sight of the true goal," Naruto said.

"The goal…" Sasuke echoed, making it sarcastically reverent and breaking the serious mood.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Hey, you won't be mocking my 'do whatever it takes' mindset when you're drinking sake from a dish made from the top of your brother's skull."

Sasuke made a face. "That's disgusting, Naruto. Have you ever actually tried sake? Even the good stuff tastes like paint thinner. I'll stick with plum wine."

The three of them looked at each other for a few seconds, then laughed heartily.

Abruptly, like flicking a switch, they all stopped laughing, and Naruto resumed his serious demeanor.

"Alright, now that the self mockery is over," he said, gesturing at the field with a broad wave of his hand. "Sasuke? If you please?"

He nodded, formed seals, then made a rather large grand fireball that burned into the field in a wide arc.

They stood there for several minutes, watching as the fire died down to the small flames that were all the wheat straw could sustain.

No one came to investigate.

"Nice. We'll do the same thing up there, give it long enough to make some serious smoke, and make our move. You okay, Sasuke?" he asked.

Sasuke nodded. "I've used a lot of chakra, but I can still fight. Worst comes to worst…" He grinned, and this time there really was a mad glint in his eye. "I'll be like Hinata and see what happens when I use your chakra in a real battle." He didn't sound displeased by the idea.

Naruto shook his head. So much for the Hokage's injunction against using the kyubi.

"Hinata?"

She raised her hitai-ate and looked at him seriously for a moment. "As long as you have my back, Naruto-sama."

"I always have your back," he replied, just as seriously.

She nodded. "Then yes, I can do it."

They walked forward to meet the others.

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Neji was frosty like a cup of shaved ice, or so Tenten had decided. The supposedly weakest member of Team Seven had unleashed killing intent fit to give her nightmares and stand Lee's eyebrows on end, making them appear extra bushy.

Given Hinata's apparent dislike for her cousin, Tenten highly doubted that he'd been spared the full force of that horror. He was clearly shaken, at first. But she knew Neji, and he'd retreated behind that ice king shell with such force she felt colder every time he looked at her.

Neji was not happy.

It was really odd, too. Neji was never exactly talkative about his family, though the few comments he'd made about them over the past year were enough to paint an unflattering picture of iron fisted rule and ironclad laws, where you didn't even question tradition, much less challenge it. He'd mentioned Hinata before, and she'd always gotten the impression that he resented her position even as he openly derided her abilities.

Now, either he'd exaggerated her lack of skills to the point it was actually a lie, or he'd had no real idea of what her skills were. And given his clear shock at what she'd managed to do in the field, it seemed the latter was the most likely.

She and Lee stood around loosely, carefully not looking at Neji. The fire was burning merrily, and all things considered, she was looking forward for this freaking mission to be _over_. Physically easy, mentally exhausting. Like a run through hostile territory. Her back kept itching between her shoulder blades.

Come to think of the gruesome threesome, here they came, she noted.

Sasuke had a length of wire out with a kunai on it, and he was spinning it around in a lazy circle.

She watched warily, and her teammates likewise shifted so they could keep an eye on the dark haired boy, though Neji also briefly activated his byakugan to make sure that it wasn't cover for a surprise attack from behind. Come to think of it, that really showed how much Hinata's stunt had freaked them out, Tenten realized.

It wasn't an attack. Sasuke used the momentum to launch the kunai in a long arc across the field, trailing the wire. He quickly held the wire in his teeth and formed seals, then spit a long line of fire along the chakra charged wire, making a new strip of field burst into flame.

The wire hissed as he withdrew it, but the thin metal lost heat quickly as he coiled and stowed it.

"We're the impatient sort," Naruto assured her. "Not that this mission hasn't been fun and all."

"Not at all," Tenten agreed relieved that they weren't immediately pressing some kind of attack, and, surprisingly, realized she was telling the truth, despite her complaints just a moment before. It was stressful, but it was kinda nice as well. She hadn't felt so engaged by a mission in months, since Gai, Lee, and even Neji liked to fall into the comfortable rut of mind numbing work. It was relaxing in many ways, she had to admit, and the burn of pushing her body to the limit was actually quite addictive, and she couldn't deny the results, but there was a certain attraction to the mental engagement that Naruto and his team seemed to focus on everything around them.

His piece said, Naruto turned to watch the flames.

Shrugging, Tenten did the same.

A few minutes went by. Someone shifted uncomfortably.

"So it's taijutsu practice tonight, right?" Sasuke said thoughtfully, to put the others at their ease.

The others looked at him.

Naruto nodded. "That's what Gai said."

"Did you get a chance to practice that wind jutsu?" he asked Naruto.

"Yeah, some." He shrugged. "I worked more on the other one, though, since it's not so noticeable. Walk and practice, that kind of thing. Kinda rough on the throat."

Sasuke snorted. "Weakling. You'll need to develop your mouth and throat before I'll show you how to do gokuyaku no jutsu."

Naruto made an exaggerated step back. "Are you telling me you'll trade family jutsu for sexual favors? Sasuke, I didn't know you went that way."

Sasuke glared. He hadn't intended for it to come out that way. "Fuck you, Naruto. You're the one who turns into a girl."

"You three teach each other your jutsu?" Tenten asked, picking up on the key point and ignoring the byplay. "But what if you have to fight each other?" she asked incredulously.

Team Seven exchanged looks, then shrugged. "So? We're a team," Naruto replied. "We share a lot of our skills so that even if one of us is incapacitated, we can still do almost anything we need to do. Obviously, I can't learn Hinata's byakugan or Sasuke's sharingan, but I know the fifteen points you can disable with a juken strike and how to use wire. Hinata knows some of both of our tricks, and Sasuke probably knows just about everything at this point, but he's an Uchiha and they suck, so we forgive him as long as he helps us with new things."

Naruto noticed that Sasuke and Hinata were watching him with some surprise. Ordinarily he wouldn't just give information like that away for free, but he thought it was important for Tenten to understand what she should be doing with her team. Their best chance of getting what they wanted and getting away with it, after all, was to give Gai at least part of what he wanted, and improving his team was it.

Tenten tried to wrap her head around this concept. "But, isn't the whole idea to develop your own individual style?"

Naruto blinked. "I have my own style. I have my favorite techniques, ones that I use more than others. Just because Hinata or Sasuke know them as well doesn't mean they're not mine." He smiled. "We found a way to make each other grow stronger when we all help each other. We all grew up differently, so we all know different things. But Sasuke can copy techniques just by watching. Hinata and I help him find new techniques to copy, and in return, he agrees to teach them to us. He gets everything, cause he's greedy, and Hinata and I get what we can use. Techniques, knowledge, and the confidence that if someone hits me, they're going to get it back at least twofold."

"That's..." Tenten began, but was cut off.

"It's how things should be," he said, interrupting. "We've all spent so much time in this village that we've gotten use to seeing each other as rivals and enemies. We're not the enemies, it's the people outside the village that are the enemies. Yeah, it makes sense, I mean, we all need practice fighting, but at some level you have to give up and start cooperating with your teammates and friends. I'm told it happens most in the late genin and early chunin periods, when you're working mostly with people of your level and not really being lead or leading others. But look at your team. Neji is good, I'll give him that. But he could be great, if he'd let go of some of that arrogance and see the skills you and Lee have. Lee has this weird chip on his shoulder about what hard work means, which I find incredibly ironic since he gives up so easily."

Lee drew himself up like an angry rooster. "Give up?! I'll have you know that I will never give up in my goal to be a strong ninja! No matter how hard I have to work!"

Naruto just stared back at him. "But you did, apparently. You're spending all your time on taijutsu, right? Because taijutsu is rewarding. You get noticeable better with it every time you practice, so you practice a lot. You didn't get better at ninjutsu, so you gave up." He paused.

"You."

"Gave."

"Up."

He hit Lee with such a withering look of scorn the green clad boy actually raised his fists.

"How many ninjutsu techniques did you try? Just the couple they show you in the academy? There's thousands of techniques out there. Maybe there's something about you that means you can't learn some of them. Maybe, just maybe, you can't learn any of them. But you'll never know, now will you? Cause you gave up, you big quitter. You've got this 'poor little me' thing going on. Oh, come and see the crippled kid doing his best." He sniffed.

Lee practically snarled, his eyes blazing rage.

"Naruto, don't pick on Lee," Tenten snapped, stepping forward. "You don't know what he's been through. He's doing his best, and from what I've seen his best is pretty good."

"He gave up when the going got tough and took an easier path," Naruto shot back. "How is that his 'best'?"

Lee suddenly stood stock still, and a tremor ran over his body, a rapid-fire series of fine muscle twitches that he'd learned as a part of a regimen to learn complete voluntary control over his body. He closed his eyes, breathed, straightened slightly, and opened them again. No trace of anger was left in his demeanor.

"Actually, Naruto-kun, it is a popular misconception that I cannot use _any_ jutsu," he said conversationally.

Naruto stepped back and eyed him warily, well aware he'd pushed the tall boy to his limit. He felt his team tense around him, each of them settling into an inconspicuous but ready fighting stance. Interestingly, Tenten had stepped back from Lee, and Neji watched with supreme unconcern.

"Would you like to see my jutsu?" Rock Lee asked, one hand behind his back, his other hand extended, palm up. He changed stance again, facing them squarely, both fists together. "I think I would like to show you my jutsu, Naruto-kun."

"Lee, no fighting," Tenten said warily.

"No, no fighting," Lee agreed easily. "I'm just going to show Naruto-kun a jutsu I know. It is a complicated jutsu, and it starts like this."

He held his hands close together at about eye level, then slowly made a tiger seal, then a boar, then a snake, then a tiger again, moving his hands apart about an inch before he brought them together again in the new seal.

Sasuke watched intently, the tomoe in his eyes spinning faster and faster as he recorded the technique directly into his brain.

Lee sped up, moving his hands slightly lower and bringing them farther apart as he added an ox, a dog, and a rabbit seal to the string, then another boar, then a monkey. His breathing was deep and controlled, his face intent and his muscles rippling with tension as he formed each perfect hand sign.

Naruto and his team stood balanced, ready on their feet to dodge one direction or another, depending on what Lee did.

"Bear with me now, it is a very complicated technique," Lee said, strain evident in his voice. Faster and faster he made the seals, his hand dropping lower again, and once again moving farther apart on each individual seal. Monkey, dog, sheep, snake, sheep, tiger, ox, every one of the twelve hand seals was used, and Lee's hands sped into a blur, getting over a foot apart at one point before coming together in a new seal, then staying closer and closer together between seals until his hands were near waist level and Lee was actually bending slightly.

Then he went back up, his nimble fingers and lighting quick hands flying with a speed and precision even a chunin would have envied. The grungy white of the wraps on his hands blurred into almost invisibility, and the effect the pattern of his hand movements created made it apparent that his hands precisely defined a circle in the air in front of him. He reached eye level again, then went back down one more time, taking less time to form twenty additional seals than most people would take to blink.

He bent at the waist, lingering for a split second on the last seal, that of monkey, then suddenly he snapped upright, his right fist coming up like an uppercut from below and his open left slapping the bend of his right elbow with a sharp clap, stopping his right arm in mid motion.

His right middle finger sprang up from his balled fist.

"Fuck you no jutsu," Lee said seriously.

Naruto recoiled like he'd been slapped.

Tenten covered her face, embarrassed. Neji abruptly wheezed laughter, startled out of his diffidence.

_I just used the sharingan to copy that technique_, Sasuke realized. _ I'll never be able to forget this._

"A most curious technique," Hinata said, picking up the conversation for Naruto, who, for the moment, was too stunned to reply. "I was not aware that the one handed bird seal used only a single finger. You see, we all have things we can learn from each other."

Naruto stood there, his hands reflexively clenching and unclenching as he stared down at the ground, mastering his anger.

"I can see quite a few uses for a technique such as that," Hinata went on. "I admit to being quite successfully taken by the deception. We see someone making hand seals and whispering a technique name, we automatically assume they're doing something. It's usually a valid assumption. Hiding a technique within a technique would be quite sneaky and potentially deadly." She paused, then gave Lee a brittle smile. "I am impressed. I could even see the chakra as you molded it, I had no idea it was just a distraction."

Neji snorted. "To not see through such a petty trick."

Hinata turned the flat face of her forehead protector at him. "I can see through this metal. Can you?"

Neji frowned. He would admit, though only to himself, that he'd used his byakugan earlier to look at her, and had noticed the bar of blackness covering her eyes that his vision could not penetrate.

"I can see that I have learned much from Naruto and Sasuke. What have you learned from your teammates, Cousin?"

"That some people will keep trying long after the futility of their actions becomes apparent," he replied dryly.

"And some people give up entirely too easily," Hinata countered calmly. "You once told me to give up my position as clan heir. That a weakling such as I could never lead a clan as great as ours, or if I did, I would only bring it to ruin. I've thought a lot about those words, dear Cousin, and I confess I do not understand them. I was the only person who swore to never use the branch seal against you, so why would you wish ill on me? Or is it because I was gentle where you would not have been?" She waved her hand at his head. "That is the source of much of your complaints, is it not? You, the prodigy of the Hyuga, not given your due and made heir?"

Neji shook his head. "I would not want that foul position. Let your sister have it, for she seems the only one suitable. And then you will be sealed and placed in the branch family alongside me, and then you, too, will understand the inevitability of fate."

Hinata shook her head slowly and took a step forward. "Neji-san, you should support me. Hanabi has no idea of the forces at work within our family. I am like you, I see the rot that has crept in over the generations. We are the most powerful clan in the village, but we could be so much greater, at less cost to ourselves. The way we use the caged bird seal… it is foolish. When I become Clan Leader, there will be changes." She smiled grimly. "Oh, yes, there will be changes. Some of our family will no doubt be very unhappy with some of those changes. It would actually benefit you, and be easier for me, if you supported me. You should be helping, not hating me."

"Our family has traditions dating back hundreds upon hundreds of years. You think you can change them just by saying so?" His voice dripped with disdain over her naivety. "What, you intend to get rid of the caged bird seal? There is no way to remove it short of death. And if you claim to ban its use, I guarantee that the elders will never allow you to lead the clan. It's useless, Hinata-sama. You can't fight destiny." He delivered his words with the same logical tone he might use while arguing with a madman.

"And you think you have the eyes to see people's destiny? So how were you so wrong about Hinata-chan?" Naruto asked, turning away from Lee to face his real target. "Hinata said that you once described her as a stain on the Hyuga name. Them's fighting words."

Hinata shifted slightly. Naruto was right. The fire had spread, the smoke was rising from the ground in thick waves, and the cluster of farm buildings was well screened. It was time.

"While I will admit that Hinata-sama has displayed considerably more usefulness in a field environment than I would have ever expected from someone of her talents, it changes nothing," Neji replied. "The tricks of lesser ninja are nothing against the power of the Hyuga, and if that is all she has learned, then truly she has learned nothing. She would be a poor leader for our family."

Abruptly he staggered forward, clutching the back of his head as he whirled and glared behind him.

Hinata walked out of the forest, her hitai-ate raised, bouncing a rock in her hand.

Neji looked at his fingers, noticed the faint smear of blood on them, and glared at Team Seven. "Using henge to make it seem as if Hinata hit me is hardly going to fool me, Uzumaki. It also does not surprise me at all that Hinata would be so stupid as to give away the secrets of our vision to one such as you. Be careful, or I will strike that smirk from your face." He half stepped forward, assuming a juken stance as his hands came up, ready to attack.

Hinata was suddenly there between them, quicker than anyone had ever seen her move.

"No."

They locked gazes, Neji's pale white meeting her impassive plane of engraved metal.

"We Hyuga read body language better than anyone, but we've always read eyes best. What do you see in my eyes, then, Neji?" Hinata asked.

"I cannot see your eyes," Neji replied frostily.

"But you can see what covers them, can't you?" Hinata replied. "The Leaf covers them, Neji. Duty covers my eyes, duty to my people, my clan, and myself. But unlike you, I can see through my duty to the world it covers, while you are blinded by it. I challenge you, Neji. Right now. We shall fight. Just us, no interference."

Neji formed a silent seal, then suddenly the veins around his eyes bulged.

"Do you see this?" Hinata asked. "This is real, Neji. There is no trick for you to see through. Your belief in the illusion is the illusion. I will be the next leader of our clan, and I will have your support, even if I have to beat it out of you right here. Come, Cousin. We have years of unfinished business to settle."

They glared at each other, brother and sister by twin fathers separated only by a few minutes of birth. Those couple of minutes between their fathers had grown into an enormous gulf that lay between them, waiting to swallow them both should one make a move.

Naruto stepped to one side and gave everyone a bright smile completely at odds with the situation. "Yeah, we should do that. Let's all just go into the woods for a bit, I'll make a few clones to stay here and make sure the fire doesn't get out of control."

"No," Neji replied. "There is no need."

"Sure there is!" Naruto replied. He formed a seal. "Kage bunshin no jutsu!" Six clones appeared around him with little rushes of displaced air, gaining a brief look from Tenten, Lee, and even Sasuke as they glanced to see what he was doing.

There was a deep thud of chakra on flesh and a staccato series of slaps as Hinata and Neji came together in a blur of motion, and everyone instantly leapt back to clear the area as the two intimately contesting bodies whirled together.

An elbow brushed Tenten's shoulder. Blood splattered across Sasuke's face.

And suddenly Neji hit the ground hard, flat on his back, whuffing as air exploded out of his lungs and his back arched high into the air, his arms quivering, flung wide to each side. Blood sprayed from a long, deep cut rising from his left thigh across his stomach.

At the same time Hinata spun twice like a top and fell on her face, her left arm flopping unnaturally, her right hand clutching at her chest. She made a series of little mewling noises of intense pain, like a kitten crushed under the hoof of a horse, her legs scrabbling, one knee repeatedly coming up to her chest then kicking out beneath her as if she were trying to rise, smearing the blood on her toes into the freshly tilled earth.

Finally, she grew still, even as Neji's convulsive quivering stopped and his back ceased to arch, leaving him limp in the dirt.

Naruto collapsed by her side, his fingers frantically searching for a pulse as he checked her neck and her wrist at the same time.

"Hinata?! Hinata?!"

He was dimly aware that Tenten was doing the same thing with Neji, and her own cries of alarm were getting more frantic as she desperately pleaded for him to wake up.

Naruto looked up and met her eyes. "I don't have a pulse!" he exclaimed.

"I don't either!"

"Come on, Hinata," he urged, flipping her over and beginning chest compressions. "Damn it, you weren't supposed to fight to the death!"

Lee took one look at the chaos, Tenten pressing on Neji's chest, Sasuke tearing at his shirt to make a bandage for the big bleeding cut, and Naruto and one of his clones doing CPR on Hinata.

"GAI-SENSEI!"

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	18. Memories Lie: nine

Quick note: Although the events of this chapter have been planned since back in the early stages of Clients Lie, I completely missed the opportunity for a subtle joke/reference. Thus, I am retconning Miko's name as mentioned earlier in Memories Lie, to Midori. I'll go back and change that later.

Bonus points if you get the reference.

Warning, this chapter has some very disturbing imagery ahead. You know People Lie, you know me, and you know this bunch of slightly unhinged maniacs. This is a large part of how they got that crazy. Be warned.

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She remembered that night well.

It had all began with an explosive note and a tripline.

The bears had attacked the day before. Two waves, fourteen bears, the last four of them gigantic beasts that lumbered out of the swamp with their shoulders as high at the treetops. Fortunately, Kakashi was there for that wave. Bears, even thirty five foot tall chakra bears, don't give anyone much trouble when a spear of earth leaps out of the ground and drives up through their skulls.

Then they had investigated the local temple. Kakashi had stood back and watched as the genin did it on their own, acknowledging Naruto's skill with disguise and acting. Where once it had been a small local temple devoted to Shinto spirits, now they had seemed to focus on just one. A bear with seven well defined, though no longer than average, tails. And where once, incense was burned and bells were rang, now organs from animal sacrifice were left to appease the spirits.

More interestingly, the head priest and his subordinate seemed to have some way of teleporting away involving large jade magatama over a foot across. None of the genin had been foolish enough to blindly follow, so they'd reported their finds to their sensei.

As a result, the trio had been left at the farm to guard it while Kakashi took care of the problem.

But the problem came to them not long after he left with his nin dogs.

It happened so slowly. So deceptively slowly.

They were eating onigiri brought to them by Midori, the daughter of the Higurashi family that owned the abandoned farm. She was a sweet girl, about 16, somewhat traditional, yet clearly enamored of Sasuke despite his youth, since he was exotic and beautiful and strong, traits not often found among the farmers and ranchers of the area.

The explosion went off, one of the last tags they had. Sasuke told Midori to get to the house, and Naruto made a half dozen clones to make sure she got there while Team Seven ran towards the trouble.

They heard it before they saw it. Trees fell, their limbs crackling and popping. Swamp water splashed and mud glorped.

It was big, there was no mistaking that. But, it didn't roar in anger like the giant bears from the day before.

It trilled.

Tekili-li! Tekili-li!

"Hinata! What is it?!" Naruto called.

Hinata formed a seal and activated her byakugan. She said nothing for several moments.

"Hinata?"

"I don't know," she admitted, and there was a tremor of fear in her voice. "Something terrible."

"You don't know?" Sasuke asked incredulously. "What's it look like?"

"I don't know," she repeated, turning her head slightly to look at him and Naruto. Her voice fell to a whisper that just barely reached them over the shrill piping sounds and the pops and rustle of falling trees and sloshing muck.

"You can't see it? What do you mean you can't see it?" Naruto demanded, his fist clenching as he looked up at her. "You can see everything!"

"I can see it," Sasuke said suddenly, his voice gone cold in terror. "I wish I couldn't."

"Wha-OHHHhhh SHIT!" Naruto cried as he got his first look at the thing… flowing, for lack of a better word, out of the swamp.

It was mostly mottled black and grey, but it had streaks of yellow and blue and red running through it that shifted as it moved. Sometimes a piece of it would glow some color for a second like a firefly, then dim and disappear. It moved like a amoeba, extending itself out front, then flowing to it almost like a slug, except much, much faster.

At first, it was hard to tell what shape it was, because it wasn't just one shape, it was many, like a thousand animals and fish chopped coarse and liquefied, then given a new, terrible mobility. When a pseudopod reached out for new ground, it sprouted legs in all directions, clawed and suckered and covered in fanged cilia, with pinching claws and large ivory spikes that reached for the ground almost hungrily, only to be reabsorbed in moments as the main body flowed into it.

It was also quite large.

As in over ten feet wide, eight high, and none of them could see how long.

Any tree that got in its way was attacked by toothy, misshapen mouths and cruelly hooked, unnatural beaks and pseudo-tentacles many feet thick which pulled the defenseless tree over and left a black ichor residue that smoked and popped as it dissolved the tree into a slurry that was absorbed by the thing before it had flowed past.

Naruto was the first to snap out of his shock. "Hinata…" He turned to look at her again. Her face was pale and shaken. "You really can't see that?!"

She shook her head violently. "I don't understand it," she replied quickly, her voice shrill. "I can hear it and smell it and I know something is there, but I just can't look at it! It's like I won't let myself!"

Naruto took one look at the oncoming horror and didn't argue. "Hang back, run if you have to. I don't know what it is, but it looks nasty. Kage bunshin no jutsu!" He made forty clones, and sent them forward, then leaped into the branches of a nearby tree to better watch the action.

"Sasuke!" the clone closest to him called. "If you get a shot, hit it with a katon. Don't worry about my clones, I can make more."

"What are you planning on doing?" Sasuke demanded, torn between looking at the tree where the original had disappeared and the clone that was talking to him.

Naruto grinned. "I'm gonna poke it and see what happens."

The clones spread out in a rough semicircle around the front of the shoggoth, which noticeably slowed, then stopped. Holes opened in its gelatinous body and made an almost inquisitive piping noise as newly formed eyeballs rose on stalks and more holes suddenly drew in massive amounts of air and other, even stranger organs formed all over its body.

"Tekili-li?" it piped, the eyes and tentacles swaying gently back and forth as if to a music only it could hear.

One of Naruto's clones darted forward three steps and hurled a kunai at a huge eye in the body of the thing. The kunai hit the pulpy eye and sank out of sight in an instant, causing a thin clear liquid to run a few inches down the membranous skin before it was absorbed. The eyestalks never even twitched from their hypnotic swaying dance.

Naruto's clone straightened from the throw. "Huh. That didn't do much."

Three viscous, ropy masses of tissue leapt from the part of the thing closest to the clone and impaled it through the stomach and into the ground, leaving it suspended there for a moment with a stupid look on its face. Then the mouths opened inside his body cavity and started to feed.

Naruto, all of the Narutos, started screaming, high, shrill, exactly like they were being eaten alive from the inside out. All of the clones except the impaled one disappeared. Three seconds later, it disappeared in a burst of chakra as well.

Sasuke's eyes widened.

Twelve feet to the side, Naruto fell out of the tree he was hiding in, hit several branches, and flopped onto the ground on his side like a rag doll.

"Naruto!" Hinata shrieked, running to his side in an instant.

"Uuuu," he moaned, his voice rising slightly in pain as she turned him onto his back from his side.

She gasped.

His shirt and jacket had three large holes in them. Holes that exposed bulging intestines that threatened to spill out of his ruptured abdomen.

The world seemed to stop.

"SA-SU-KEEEE!" she screamed.

Sasuke was standing right behind her, looking down at his fallen teammate. Naruto, probably the physically toughest of them, taken out in a single hit. Maybe even killed.

"Run," Sasuke whispered quietly, turning his attention back to the oncoming… thing.

His whisper, more of a personal wish than an order, was all it took to restart the world, and suddenly it was moving very, very fast. Hinata scooped Naruto up into her arms, flinching but briefly when she felt the blood on his back that told her the wound was identical to that his clone had gotten, and took off for the farm house at top speed.

Sasuke ran forward, making seals as he did. He took in a tremendous breath, put his fingers to his lips, then blew with all the power in his lungs and his chakra.

It was the biggest fireball he'd ever made, and it engulfed the thing, burning off tentacles and eyes and boiling away fluids in seconds. And still he kept up the power, putting more of himself into that one technique than he'd ever done before. Seconds counted by, and he was running out of air.

And it came through the wall of flames in front of him, smoking tentacles covered in toothed suckers and mouths full of cilia reaching for him just like it had reached for Naruto.

Fuck it, Sasuke ran.

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"Hinata?! Hinata wake up, please!"

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Hinata hit the door of the farmhouse with one foot as she flew through the air, right at the level she knew the peg lock was on the inside. The wood shattered under the force of her chakra enhanced kick and the momentum of her and Naruto, leaving her to land gracefully on her feet in the entryway and sprint into the main room.

"Midori! Everyone! We've got to go now!" she called loudly, looking around wildly.

There was no one in the main room, so she quickly activated her byakugan and darted out, frantically looking around.

Midori stood in the hallway to the master bedroom, her arm held by a lanky young man with dark red hair. Hinata's heart fell, realizing that the man was Bacchi, the servant of the head priest. He was here, her family wasn't, and things were rapidly going to hell.

Hinjo, her fiancé, stood to one side, his face twisted into a snarl.

With a start, Hinata realized that he was snarling at her, not at the man holding his bride to be.

"You," she said simply.

"Me."

Her byakugan had made her aware of the man in the next room, but it was only her carefully honed reflexes that enabled her to bend herself backwards to avoid the arm that came through the wall beside her.

It wasn't an arm, exactly. Truthfully, she didn't know what it was. She couldn't see it, only the splintering of wood had given her warning. But given what had happened to Naruto with the thing she couldn't see earlier, she didn't want it touching her. She hopped backwards, hopefully out of range, as Midori screamed and struggled.

What Hinata couldn't see was a ropy, ever shifting mass of black and grey mottled flesh that twisted around the hole, releasing black ichor that melted the wall down to the floor and beyond, forming countless little mouths, claws, and pinchers that tore at the remaining wood until the man could step through.

It was the head priest, Ude-sama. And he had a piece of shoggoth in place of his right arm.

It twisted and whirled around him as if it had a mind of its own, then suddenly it compressed and shrank down into a perfectly normal human arm, even with a sleeve that matched the one on the other side. She could see it again. Somehow that scared her more. She shifted Naruto into a slightly more secure position.

"Fufufu, you have quick reflexes, my dear," he said, smiling gently as he put his hands together and let them be hid by the large, flowing sleeves. "But if I could just convince you to come along with Higurashi-chan here, I'll let you see the rest of her family." He bobbed his head slightly. "You do want to make sure your clients are safe, do you not?"

"Not really what's on my mind, no," she heard herself say, as if from very far away. She turned and ran just as he flung his arm in her direction and it seemed to explode towards her, and there was no natural way anything with the volume of the human arm could create the volume of membranous flesh reaching for her. Instincts alone let her dodge.

She ran for the closest exit. It was the front door, the same one she'd entered through, and the same one Sasuke was running for at full speed. If it wasn't for the byakugan, she'd have run into Sasuke, but she saw him coming fast enough to throw herself to one side as he barreled through the door.

"Don't come into the house!" she screamed.

"Don't go that way!" Sasuke screamed back, disappearing into the house.

Abruptly, Hinata realized she couldn't see anything in front of her. The tree walking exercises came in handy as she focused chakra to stick to the ground and make the fastest change of direction she'd ever made, her muscles screaming in protest as she killed her momentum and raced back into the house, ignoring Naruto's moan of protest.

Something huge hit the front of the house seconds after she ran through the door, smashing the doorway and wall to splinters.

In front of her, she heard a new scream.

"AHHHHHOOOF!"

More wood splintered as Sasuke came crashing through the frame around the doorway leading to the kitchen and the back door. He hit hard, rolled once, and came up on his hands and feet, bleeding from shards of wood in his back.

Hinata paused beside him, unsure of the best direction to go now that they were trapped in the house.

Ude came through the door, the twisting mass of protoplasmic flesh that was once his arm flopping and morphing wildly around him.

"Ah, I see you met the shoggoth," he said, still keeping to his mien of an amiable old priest. "It's a servant of the God Bear just like we are. You ninja should convert. We have a use for people like you."

"Sorry, I've already pledged my faith to another," Hinata replied distractedly, looking around quickly with her byakugan. If she could just find a good weak spot in a wall, she could probably break through with juken, but it'd take time she almost certainly didn't have.

Sasuke started to form seals for another grand fireball, but unfortunately, he realized that trapped in a small enclosed space like they were would result in them all being burned together.

"Then you will be sacrificed as infidels to the God Bear," the younger man said, stepping out from behind Ude. He pulled open his vestments and raked his hands across his chest, sharpened nails tearing through his skin. Immediately, dark red blood poured from the wounds, but instead of dripping down the floor, it spread across his skin in all directions.

Hinata could easily see the chakra infused into the blood, and realized he had some sort of technique for manipulating it. He didn't move like a ninja, but it wasn't out of the question for him to have a bloodline of some sort. That, or it was just more dark magic.

"That won't be necessary, Bacchi-kun," Ude said gently, holding out one hand to stop his apprentice. "We'll let another handle this."

Rows of holes appeared in the formless ooze that dangled from his right shoulder, and they began drawing in and blowing out air in succession, sometimes widening, sometimes shrinking, all the while piping the same tune they'd heard in the swamp.

"Tekili-li!" his arm trilled.

Hinata looked around wildly, then, slowly, directed her attention down into the ground.

"SASUKE! OUT THE FRONT DOOR!" she cried as she jumped.

Sasuke was a split second behind her, delayed long enough to feel the tremor beneath his feet as a battering ram of flesh tore through the wooden floor, reaching for him even as he dodged.

Hinata's feet hit suspiciously soft earth the moment she left the house, and she was just barely able to stumble and leap into the air as the ground grabbed at her feet.

Sasuke wasn't so lucky.

His feet hit the rising mound of earth layered over something definitely not ground as he ran, and he tucked into a roll, intending to come up onto his feet and copy Hinata's move, leaping away from the subterranean shoggoth beneath their feet.

A suckered pseudopod lanced out of the dirt and hit him in the legs just as he went horizontal, not so much wrapping around his feet as flowing around them and grabbing on with hundreds of sucker-like mouths that bit into his calves the instant they came in contact. It pulled back almost as fast as it had launched out, and Sasuke hit the ground flat on his belly with an oof and a startled scream. Ground that was already quivering and moving as if it was alive.

Hinata wasn't able to jump as far and as fast as she'd have liked, having traded planning for instant momentum. She hit the ground hard, twisting herself so she took the impact on her shoulder and back rather than letting Naruto hit directly. Naruto's legs got in the way of a smooth roll and he was torn from her grasp as she flipped and came up on her feet, leaving Naruto to tumble limply across the ground and slide to a stop, his feet pointing her direction.

"Uhhhh…" he moaned, his wounds tearing open even more from the rough treatment.

Then a glistening black pseudopod streaked with dirt welled out of the ground and engulfed his head.

"Naruto!" she shrieked.

Earth crumbled underneath his chest in an ever widening circle as the shoggoth began pulling him under.

Sasuke screamed high and long, reaching out with his hands to claw at the dirt as the pseudopod flowed up his legs, pulling him backwards at the same time. Thousands of tiny pinchers and mouths and indescribable organs with no earthly analogue nipped at him from all directions, just barely nicking his skin, though his boots dissolved in seconds.

It was even worse when it got to his waist, as his shorts and equipment pouch was torn away and dissolved by the strange fractal acids the shoggoth secreted, letting the unnatural, newly formed organs reach places he _never_ wanted in a shoggoth's mouth.

Then it quit playing around and the ground simply swallowed him up, cutting his scream off mid breath.

Hinata dove for Naruto's feet just as his torso dropped into the hole, getting one hand on each of his shinobi shoes as he slid over the lip of the hole. For a moment his progress paused, but there wasn't even time for false hope before the shoggoth exerted a tiny fraction of its strength and pulled him in. Hinata was forced to let go at the last minute to avoid being pulled in as well.

She was left on her knees at the lip of the pit, staring down into darkness.

The darkness stared back. It may have even blinked.

Frightened beyond anything she'd ever felt in her entire life, she threw herself backwards and ran.

It was many long minutes of panicked flight before she was able to get control of herself and stop, collapsing on her knees, hugging herself as she trembled in shock.

It had eaten Naruto. Sasuke was nowhere around, and _it had eaten Naruto_.

She had to go back.

It was the hardest decision she'd ever made.

But she had to go back. There was still a chance. She would gamble her life on that chance, because living without Naruto wasn't living at all. She'd put all her faith in him.

She had to go back.

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

Hinata slowly, silently crawled across the roof of the tunnel, clinging to the rock like a limpet. The rock was corrugated, but relatively smooth despite the ripples. It was no natural tunnel.

She moved slow not just for silence and concealment, but also because it was very hot and she didn't want any sweat to drip down on the acolyte walking below her.

Forcing herself to turn around and try and find the shoggoth was hard. Finding it, or at least its trail, was easy. It didn't take a Hyuga to find a swath of destruction ten feet wide, where everything was dissolved away down to the dirt.

There were a lot of possibilities to why there was no effort to conceal the trail. Either they assumed she would never stop running, which, admittedly, was a pretty likely event, or they were setting some kind of trap, or they were just supremely confident in their pet monster's ability to deal with any sort of trouble.

If it was the first, her chances went up. The other two made little difference. She wasn't going to be reckless. Too much relied on her for her to be stupid.

The floodplain swamps that marked the ranch area gave way to drier forest on the hillsides, then ended abruptly in rocks and scrub as the ground sloped up into the mountains.

There was a cave. It wasn't even concealed all that well. The only thing that kept it from just being a big ass hole going into the mountain side at a downward angle was that there was a three walled wooden shed build over it to keep rain from flooding it. Rock tailings from earlier excavations lay strewn around downhill from it, and there was a clear path leading away towards the city.

Hinata almost stopped feeling scared long enough to be embarrassed that her team hadn't found this place earlier. There was no effort made to hide what was apparently some sort of secret base. These people… they were not ninjas.

There were, however, two guards, what looked like local townspeople armed with yari, at the entrance. It was almost dark, so they'd built a fire to one side.

Hinata circled wide, found a single trip line attached to bells on the upside of the slope, carefully leapt onto the roof of the building, and used chakra to cling to the wood as she flipped upside down and crept in, then dropped soundlessly into the cave. She used henge to turn her grey outfit into a kind of sooty color to match the ceiling of the cave, and alternatively bounded down the tunnel in a series of lightning quick hops, or crept slowly across the ceiling as the occasional acolyte ran through.

The young priests seemed to have been called from all over, and they came through singly or in small groups, hurrying to some appointment. None of them were leaving, so apparently something important was going on.

None of them looked up.

But when she finally crawled out of the over half kilometer long tunnel and started up the inside wall of the large cavern, she was in for a shock.

The cavern was big. It probably took up most of the base of the mountain, being over three hundred feet tall. It was largely filled by the gigantic stepped pyramid, though, which went all the way up to the top and fused into the rock of the cavern roof well before it reached an apex. Light came from torches around the base of the pyramid, but the top was dark, and would be impossible to see if it weren't for her bloodlimit. It was covered in carvings, strange, angular symbols, caricatures of people and animals, and dozens of bear images. Freestanding bears, sitting patiently, standing on their hind legs, snarling with one paw raised. Stylized bears with oversized stone claws a foot long and mouths full of twisted humanoid figures. Bear reliefs and bear line art. And three real bears lounging like piles of shaggy carpet on the lowest 'step' of the side of the pyramid.

A pyramid, no a temple, of sorts, build inside of the mountain. Or, perhaps, built long ago, and covered with a mountain by the gods. It didn't matter, Hinata wasn't in the mood for archaeology.

She climbed the wall of the cavern over halfway to the top, using her chakra ruthlessly to bypass the comings and goings of the worshippers and bears below. The soot and smoke from the torches actually helped her, as she carefully rubbed it onto her exposed skin and clothes. The cavern was like a bubble, so the wall of the cavern was closest to the side of the pyramid at the bottom and at the top.

Hinata neared the top, gathered herself, and leapt, landing silently on the stone less than twenty feet from the top. She used her byakugan to look inside, but there was nothing but stone. They must be keeping their prisoners at the bottom.

Naruto and Sasuke probably weren't prisoners, but if that was the case, nothing mattered any more anyway, so best to act as if they were. She would assume that they had been taken captive, and she had to find and rescue them. To think otherwise was to invite madness.

But she did allow herself one moment of utter clarity to contemplate the alternative.

If Sasuke died, she would kill everyone in the temple.

If Naruto died, she would kill everyone.

Everyone.

Slowly, making absolutely no noise and no sudden movements that would attract a watcher's eye, she slid down the wall, staying as far away from the bears as possible, wary of her scent. Fortunately, the air seemed to be moving up and out, probably through holes cut somewhere in the top of the cavern, and the air from below was musty and foul with bear and smoke and offal, especially the taint of blood, both old and fresh.

As she descended, she became aware that the stone changed, from the fine grey granite of the cavern wall and the top of the pyramid, to a coarser grained, reddish stone. The construction shifted as well, showing that the pyramid shape came from building onto an existing column of natural rock, which had been incorporated into the design at the top and carved to match.

Fortunately, between the darkness and the elaborate carvings, Hinata had no trouble climbing down the side of the pyramid undetected.

She even discovered a possible way in when she heard the incoherent chanting chorus coming from it.

First, she used her byakugan to examine it thoroughly. It was a shaft, probably an air shaft, a little over a foot square, that exited the pyramid right behind a complicated statue of two men, a woman, and a naughty grizzly. It went down, then angled slightly, but was otherwise straight for about fifty feet until it opened up into a large room on her side of the pyramid. It had a slow but steady stream of smoky, incense laden air wafting from it.

It was hard to see details so far in, even with her bloodline. The byakugan offered the ability to change the focus of perception to almost any point in quite a wide area, but it was limited in range. And while she, personally, was more than capable of using it to see a paltry hundred feet away, peering through fifty feet of solid rock wasn't quite the same as fifty feet of air. She could see through it, but she also saw all the rock in between at the same time. And while the deep structure of the rock used to build the pyramid wasn't nearly as interesting to her as the location and number of people and things in the room below, at the same time, she couldn't not focus on it.

In the end, unless she contorted herself and crawled down the air shaft to look, all she could tell was that there was a large room, it had life in it, but it wasn't big enough to take up all of the space available inside the pyramid.

Careful listening at the entrance to the shaft allowed her to pick out at least two dozen distinct human voices, all chanting in a language she didn't understand, and one bear, which roared suddenly, echoing throughout the entire temple.

The chanting ceased.

Hinata held her breath, straining her ears to the very limit to try and catch conversation from below, but she wasn't Naruto, with keen senses beyond her eyes. Her hearing was only human.

The scream, when it started, was low and full of despair. Then it became snatches of desperate pleading, to no, please stop, don't do this.

It was female. Older, most likely. If it was someone she knew, it was most likely one of the farm wives from the two families who had been staying together. It certainly wasn't Naruto or Sasuke.

She decided to look for another air shaft when the pleads turned back into screams and rose in pitch.

With luck, she could find Naruto and Sasuke in a holding cell and spring them while most of the cult was busy.

Using the byakugan, she began looking around at the surface of the pyramid more closely. She finally spotted a second air shaft that was actually worked into a stylized bear relief, where it came out as the bear's mouth.

Unfortunately, it was on the same side of the pyramid as the three bears lounging below. She could kill them if need be, but probably not silently, and it almost certainly would be noticed. She hadn't seen any more evidence of the thing that had taken Naruto and Sasuke, but if it was still around, and not dispelled like a regular summon, the last thing she wanted was to get its attention.

She held her left ear up to the air shaft and listened closely. Wherever this air shaft lead to, it was a lot quieter than the loud chanting and screaming of the other place. The only thing she could hear clearly was a sharp smack, repeated at odd intervals, and maybe a few sounds that might have been words before they bounced around through over a hundred feet of narrow rock tunnel.

Her byakugan revealed a smaller room than the other one, with a lower ceiling. There were four people inside.

One of them was Naruto. She'd recognize those enormously overdeveloped chakra coils anywhere, even through all the rock.

He was alive!

Alive!

ALIVE!

For several long minutes all she could do was kneel there, almost overcome with relief. He was alive. The thing that took him hadn't eaten him. There was still hope.

All she had to do was go get him. She felt a surge of strength and conviction.

Some clever artisan had carved the rock so that the opening of the shaft had 'teeth', to better fit with the bear relief that it formed the mouth of. It was actually sort of vindicating when she wrapped the sleeve of her jacket around a tooth, focused her chakra, and snapped it off at the base, soundlessly.

Then she did it again with the other three.

With a little luck, she would get to come back, along with Naruto and Sasuke, of course, and really deface the god damned temple.

Oh, and kill everyone inside.

With the sharp and pointy bits gone, Hinata had ready access to the shaft.

Air ducts weren't exactly common features in buildings in the elemental countries, so crawling through them, or something similar, wasn't exactly taught in ninja school. However, prolonged crawling through tight, narrow passages such as between a roof and a decorative ceiling, and even tighter gaps such as in caves or between structural beams, was taught in several classes. Mobility was a ninja doctrine. Everyone was required to be able to move through tight spaces, although what was tight to an Akimichi was an easy crawl to a girl like Hinata, and what someone like the even slenderer Sakura could squeeze through could be impossible for a larger boy like Sasuke.

The problem, of course, was that the air shaft was really quite small. Like the other, only about a foot square. If she turned her shoulders diagonal, she'd be able to fit, but that wouldn't exactly make movement easy, fast, or silent.

Her idol, Naruto, was no fool, though. He'd learned a jutsu that, while intended for disguise, had broader applications. And, because you just never knew, he'd spent several weeks teaching it to Hinata.

She formed several seals, focused her chakra, and used the advanced transformation technique to make herself slightly shorter and much more willowy, with narrower shoulders and smaller breasts. There were limits to the technique of course, unless you were Naruto and had god chakra, something Anko had never bothered to tell him when she gave him the scroll. But even with a normal ninja like Hinata, it was sufficient to, coupled with her already slight frame and great flexibility, allow her to slide headfirst into the air shaft like a sooty ferret girl.

As long as she moved slowly, she was able to use her toes, knees, and back to inchworm her way through the shaft with no noise at all. There was a layer of dust and grime all through it, the product of countless years of neglect, and it actually made the cloth of her now baggy clothes slide across the gritty stone more easily. As she went farther down the shaft, the noises grew clearer.

The sharp smacks stopped before she made it very far, leaving her in silence for the ten minutes it took to cover the first twenty feet, then negotiate the bend. She saved her chakra, not bothering to use the byakugan when she was still so far out. But eventually she heard voices again, along with the squeaking and rattling of what was probably chains, this time clearer.

Then, suddenly, one phrase became perfectly understandable.

"Shut up, Naruto. You're not helping."

Sasuke. He sounded tired.

Naruto's reply, if he made one, was too low for her to catch. Possibly, his wounds made it so he couldn't talk very loudly, though, if he was able to talk at all, it meant his wounds weren't as bad as she'd feared.

They were all going to be okay.

She crawled closer.

"Fufufu, what a filthy tongue you have, boy. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

Ude, the old priest.

She froze, not breathing, her mouth hanging open as she strained with every fiber of her being to hear what was said next.

It was Naruto, and he sounded weak, so terribly weak, but there was still a fire, a defiance in his voice, just like what had first attracted her to him.

"Sorry to disappoint you, old man, but I already killed my mother. I'd be happy to kiss yours, though. Yeah, not just kiss though, unf unf."

Hinata snorted once in startled, almost panicked laughter, then clamped both hands over her mouth, her eyes wide with horror. She'd made noise at a time when _she absolutely could not afford to make noise_! What was she thinking?!

Viciously, she pinched the side of her neck, the only place she could reach, with her fingernails, catching the flesh between forefinger, thumb, and middle finger to draw three crescents of blood. The pain woke her up, sharpened her mind. She resumed her silent infiltration, noting without rancor that Naruto's insults were far more effective than her own.

The next words she heard was Naruto again, louder and stronger, but punctuated by great wracking coughs.

"Yeah, you old bastard, I would. *cough* *cough* I'm dying anyway, and I'd just as soon get it over with than hang around here and watch your pathetic attempts at torture. *cough* I was trained by a master torturer, you fuck. Watching Hinjo hit Sasuke with those weak punches offended me as a craftsman. *pause* *coughing fit* Kill me, you son of a bitch. I'll catch up with you in hell."

"Fu fu fu!" came the priest's creepy, annoying laugh. "I love ninja, they always think it's about them. Torture, pain, the God Bear cares not for these things. I'm given to understand young Hinjo simply resented his fiancée's attraction to your friend there, and wished to make himself clear."

There was a pause.

"Ouch."

That was Sasuke, and even distorted by forty feet of tunnel, Hinata could feel the disdain and arrogance dripping from the word.

"Fu fu fu! I'm not here to torture you, boy. I assure you, any pain you receive is purely incidental. I like you, actually. Without you, we wouldn't have the life forces of two vibrant young shinobi to offer to the God Bear. Sacrifice is all about caring and respect, you see. Respect for the God Bear, and caring for the offering. To think of it otherwise would be an insult, sacrilege. Being a priest is all about love, even for boys like you."

"We'll, that's it, Sasuke. A priest, a pretty boy like you, you knew there had to be rape somewhere."

When Ude finally spoke again, his tone was lower, angrier. "Very good, boy. You seem determined to go first, and I don't mind granting a last request. You shall be the first to die." Abruptly, his tone became lighter. "In fact, I've already decided to grant one, on request of young Higurashi-chan. Bacchi will bring her presently, after her fiancé… Fu fu fu, I should say, 'ex' fiancé, is finished saying his goodbyes to her."

Silence reigned.

Hinata slowed her approach. When people were talking, you could usually make more noise on a sneak, but silence heightened the attention people paid to their ears. Still, she was close, now, very close. Only ten feet remained between her and the dim hole that opened up into the room below.

Close enough to use the byakugan to really look inside the room, even with the remaining rock in the way.

Hinata formed seals and sent chakra to her eyes, then cast her focus outwards.

The room was only about a third the size of what she'd come to think of as the main ceremony room where all the chanting had come from earlier. Dim lighting came from three bronze braziers, each about three feet across, that were held aloft by tripod stands. There were only three people in the room now, Naruto, Sasuke, and Ude.

Naruto and Sasuke were each strapped upside down and naked to roughly star shaped skeletal metal frames. Their legs were spread so that their feet were a little more than shoulder width apart, clamped in place at the ankles, knees, and thighs with thick leather straps that were clearly pulled tight enough to bite into the flesh. Another set of straps crossed their stomachs, securing them to the central junction of all the cross bars. Their arms were held out straight, held similarly at the wrists, elbows, and shoulders, and a strange set of metal clamps held their heads straight. The arrangement was restrictive enough that they could move less than an inch, and that was more muscles flexing than actual movement.

Her heart lurched when she really examined Naruto. The three holes that went through his torso were bleeding only slightly, but his intestines bulged out noticeably. Gut wounds were rarely instantly fatal, but they often produced lingering deaths that could draw out over several agonizing days or more. Naruto might well have been serious when he said he was dying anyway. She had to get him out of there, and to a hospital.

She was a little surprised to see them both naked, but it wasn't a real distraction. A side effect of the byakugan was that, with a long enough association with anyone, you'd get a pretty good idea of what people looked like without their clothes. It wasn't exactly like just seeing them naked, but close enough.

Them being upside down was a little more puzzling.

At least part of the strange contraption they were strapped to was explained when Ude, who had been pacing back and forth, casually reached out, grabbed Sasuke's foot, and gave it a hard, sharp tug.

The rack he was strapped to was connected to an upside down U shaped bar by a crossbar that ran horizontally across his back. The bar formed an axle, allowing Sasuke to spin head over heels as the metal squeaked. The pull had also been off center, and the U bar was hung from a chain attached in the top middle, so he rotated slightly around the long axis with a lot more squeaking before he stopped, facing away from the priest.

Amused, Ude gave him another hard tug, flipping him end over end again.

"You know," Naruto said weakly, who could kind of see the action out of the corner of his eye, "You should baste him regularly or he won't cook even."

Ude sighed quietly, shrugged, and walked over to Naruto, raising his right arm.

Hinata's vision went blank once again as the arm transformed. Her hearing wasn't affected, though.

"Wha-NNNnnngh-"

There was a quiet, muffled crunch, like breaking a stalk of celery under a sheet.

Hinata's heart froze, and she strained her eyes trying to see what had happened. She was actually able to see the erratically transforming mass of flesh for a few seconds as it resumed the size and shape of a human arm, and her bile rose in her throat at the horrific sight.

But what really grabbed her was Naruto.

His mouth was open slightly, his chin smushed in and his jaw at an odd angle. Blood trickled from his mouth, across his upper lip, and into his nose, where it bubbled with his labored breaths.

Ude had broken his jaw.

"furllry… nnnciidental… iight?" Naruto mumbled, spitting blood with each word.

Ude shook his head slightly in disbelief. "Ah, my boy, that mouth of yours is going to get you sacrificed to an ancient ursine god of blood and power one of these days."

He paused.

"Oh, hey!"

Naruto's answering glare was murderous.

Hinata, in fury, crawled closer to the entrance of the hole, moving extremely carefully to insure that she didn't dislodge something and send it rolling down the slope to fall into the room. She stopped two feet from the edge when she saw people coming.

There wasn't a true door, only a doorway, so Bacchi simply dragged Midori in by her wrist, trailed by Hinjo. Midori's face was red and bruised, and tears still coursed their way down her cheeks, though she didn't cry openly. Her long pink hair, the exact same shade as her classmate Sakura, was mussed and hanging in front of her face, and she quickly brushed it out of her eyes. Unlike Sasuke and Naruto, she wasn't naked, though only her free hand kept her kimono from flapping open. Her eyes visibly lit up when she saw Sasuke, who was tilted at an angle so that he couldn't see her in return.

"Sasuke-kun!" she cried, and would have went to stand by him, except for Bacchi's hand on her wrist.

"Ah, goodbyes said, I assume?" Ude said complacently. "Excellent. While I regret your decision, Higurashi-chan, it is yours to make. The God Bear only wants willing worshipers to carry out his will here on earth." He shrugged. "The unwilling are only fit as sacrifice."

Midori whimpered and shrank away from him, staring up at him through wisps of pink hair. "My wish…" she whispered, almost accusingly.

Ude smiled gently, rotating Sasuke so that he was upright, then turning him to face the group. "As close as I can get without actually letting you go free to marry Sasuke-kun, have kids, and grow old. I'm not the God Bear, you know, just his servant. But I promise you'll be happy."

Midori stared at him dully, without comprehension as he lifted his right arm and it began to change. Bacchi grabbed both her wrists.

Hinata, startled, found herself staring at the floor of the shaft, her byakugan no longer active. Once again, the only sense she had that could tell her anything about what was happening in the room below was her ears.

And they told a disturbing story.

Midori's shriek was loud, but even it wasn't able to drown out Sasuke's bellow of rage.

"NO! Don't you touch her! Don't- MIDORI!" The metal rack squeaked slightly as Sasuke flexed with all his might, throwing all his strength against the straps over and over again.

"AaaAAAaaaaglk… glk…" Midori's strangled voice faded out.

"Shh, shh, there, there, Midori-chan. The first part is always the worst, but it's over now. Now, tell Sasuke how you feel."

"Sasuke…" Midori began, her voice small and hesitant, but not actually in any pain. "Sasuke, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry my family got you into this." She sobbed quietly.

"Midori… What has he done to you?" Sasuke's voice was strained, almost as if he was holding back tears of his own.

"I just wanted you to know… I'm kinda glad, really, because I would have never met you otherwise."

Sasuke sobbed once, then his voice choked off.

"Sasuke? I just want one thing… before I go."

"Tell me." His voice was stronger. Mastering his fear, for her.

Hinata didn't know he had it in him.

"A kiss, Sasuke-kun." She sounded embarrassed by it.

What followed was a long period of silence that nearly drove Hinata mad. There were faint sounds, maybe the kisses she spoke of? A kiss sounded innocent enough, but what had Ude done? Why was Sasuke so upset, when he'd taken everything else with that same stoic mien that he always did? Hinata crawled even closer, to within inches of the hole, though she didn't dare let any part of herself peek over the edge.

"Midori…" Sasuke said, sounding muffled. "Midori, you should stop."

Her only answer was a moan, not of pain.

"Midori, that's my ear. Please stop." His voice sounded strained.

"My wish…"

"MIDORI!" The rack rattled again, as if Sasuke was fighting to be free.

"You bastard! What are you doing to her?! Stop it! She doesn't deserve this!" Sasuke screamed.

"Me? I'm not controlling her. I'm just letting her have her wish. All her desires, unchained and unfettered. She'll do what she wants." Ude sounded bored. "But, she'll die happy, just as I promised."

"I will kill you for this," Sasuke promised. "Midori! Stop! You don't want this!"

"Sasuke… I want you…" her voice was low and husky. The sound of a kiss, then several more followed.

"Nnng!"

"Shhtoop…" That was Naruto, his broken jaw turning his protests into mush.

Hinata shuffled uncomfortably. She wanted to charge out there and stop what was happening, but to do so might well be suicide, for her and her teammates.

"Midori, stop! Can't you see that he's eating you?!"

"Sasuke…" Midori's voice didn't sound pained.

"He's EATING YOU!"

What followed was a scream of primal terror that shook Hinata to her core. She activated her byakugan again, desperate to see what was happening, even though, on some level, she knew she didn't want to.

Ude and Midori were joined. The old priest's arm had transformed into a massive trunk of protoplasmic flesh which extended down from his shoulder, nearly to the floor, then back up where Midori's legs should be. The kimono was gone, forgotten on the floor, leaving her breasts on display. Her arms had disappeared, gone, only the widening of her shoulders to indicate they'd ever been, and her whole body writhed unnaturally, like a snake.

Her legs had fused into the arm. There weren't even any hints that they were there. Only at her stomach level did the mottled, membranous surface turn into the milk-with-just-a-hint-of-coffee skin of Midori, but the flesh under the skin writhed and bulged unnaturally, like a nest of snakes, or shoggoth tentacles running through her guts.

All of her organs were gone.

Her moans of lust drew attention to her face and head, which was kissing its way down Sasuke's stomach in an obscene parody of love.

The outer scene had nothing on the level of horror within, though, as her body was steadily shrinking, being absorbed into Ude's shoggoth arm. Mouths ate at her from within, and five fingerlike bulges extended from under her neck, cupping her head as if it sat in the palm of his hand.

Suddenly, all of it hit Hinata at once. She was alone, the lives of them all depending on her, the weakest, the loser, faced with things man was never meant to see, trapped in a tiny shaft buried under thousands of tons of rock-

Hinata screamed and jerked back, slamming her head into the top of the air shaft with enough force to leave a blood stain.

She had to get out! She had to get away!

Her shrieks of panic were incomprehensible, less words than primal noises of fear. For several long minutes she fought the constricting rock around her, twisting and turning and pushing with all her might-

A hand popped up in the opening of the shaft in front of her.

It wasn't just a hand. The index and ring finger curled forward, towards her, bringing the eyeballs on the tips of the fingers into line with her. There was a mouth set in the center of the palm, complete with lips, full and feminine, still smudged with traces of the makeup Midori had worn earlier that day.

"Hinata-kun? Why are you here?" Midori asked, proving that there was no true comprehension of her situation left in what was once a pretty young woman.

Dimly, Hinata noted that drool trailed from the corners of the mouth, as if from particularly enthusiastic kissing. She shrieked again and began scrabbling backwards.

The mouth and eyes disappeared in an instant and the hand exploded into ropy strands of flesh that reached for her. She tried to defend, but they only sprouted sucker-like mouths and latched onto her frantically warding hands, swarming up her forearms until they got a good grip.

Then it began to pull, even as Hinata screamed obscenities and fought with all her might.

With her arms trapped, the only form of resistance she had was to spread her legs and try to brace her knees and ankles against the sides of the shaft, but since there was only the faintest of join lines between the stones, there was no real purchase to be had. She'd only managed to scrabble backwards about five feet before she was caught.

Panicked, mad with fear and horror, Hinata was still a ninja of Konoha. Half training, half inspiration, and all instinct, she realized what she could do to salvage the situation just as her arms were dragged over the lip of the hole.

It was like the Kaiten, the Hyuga family ultimate defense that she'd been trying to piece together in secret with Naruto. Hinata flared the chakra in her hands and arms, expelling it with all the force she could muster, and twisting both of her arms at the same time.

The alien tissue of the shoggoth flesh was forced off her skin by the rotating chakra, and her arms slipped free just as she was about to be pulled headfirst into the room, leaving her hanging upside down from the hole by just the pressure of her feet against the sides of the shaft.

She had just enough time to see startlement on Ude's face as her hands flashed to her equipment pouch and tore it open, letting dozens of senbon and kunai fall free.

Lightning quick, she grabbed them as they fell, hurling the weapons at the old priest and his two minions.

Bacchi, standing behind Sasuke and apparently holding the rack steady, went down with a kunai in the side of his throat. Hinjo went down a second later, three senbon sprouting from his face, one embedded almost out of sight in his right eye.

She also sent two kunai at Sasuke, specifically, at the straps at his elbow and wrist. She wasn't a master of thrown weapons, so she had to err on the side of caution. Better to be sure of slicing the leather strap and deal with the cuts to his arm than to miss entirely. They caught him in the underside of the arm and the top edge of his wrist, respectively.

The rest she threw at Ude as fast as she could.

The writhing, ever changing mass of inhuman flesh that made his arm enveloped him like a shell even before the first needle hit.

Hinata wasn't especially strong for a ninja, but she was fast, and when it came to thrown weapons, speed counted. Every one of the kunai and senbon sank out of sight into the mottled shoggoth flesh.

Which immediately opened pores and began to make that strange piping music it had before.

"Tekili-li! Tekili-li!"

Panicked, Hinata dropped from the ceiling and flipped to land on her feet, then launched a series of blindingly fast juken strikes at the protective envelope. Her chakra flared over and over as she directed it into the alien flesh with all the speed of the 64 palms technique.

The problem was, while the shoggoth flesh might have internal organs of a sort, they weren't like anything she'd ever been trained to attack. They moved. They changed shape. Just trying to see them made her eyes burn.

Abruptly, the shell seemed to explode outwards in more of the tentacle-like pseudopods, all of them reaching for her at once.

Desperately, she performed the first steps of the Kaiten, expelling chakra from every tenketsu on her body and whirling into a spin as she threw herself to the side. It was enough to throw them off, and none touched her.

She felt it coming before she saw it.

A veritable tsunami of horrid, shifting, massive flesh surged through the door and engulfed everything in sight.

She screamed.

Then she didn't scream any more.

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When Hinata woke up, the world was upside down.

A few seconds later, her mind reoriented itself, and she realized she was strapped, upside down and naked, to another one of the swinging racks like Naruto and Sasuke had been.

Chanting hit her ears.

She couldn't turn her head, but her peripheral vision was unmatched. She was able to see that she was in a large room lit by dozens of braziers heaped high with wood and incense.

Sasuke hung nearby in a similar state to her own, unconscious or unresponsive. His eyes were open, but he wasn't moving. The straps she had cut had been replaced, and blood stained the new restraints.

Naruto…

Naruto hung upside down, suspended over a bloodstained marble altar in the center of the room.

Ude was standing on the altar, carving on him with a short bladed bronze knife, chanting as he worked. As his words rose in pitch, so did the chorus from around him, providing an eerie harmony to the macabre scene.

"NARUTO!" she screeched.

Naruto visibly twitched in his restraints, but Ude had practice dealing with uncooperative people, and his restraints didn't offer much freedom of movement. The knife never wavered as a new angular rune was cut into his skin over his collar bone.

Hinata must have been out for a while, or Ude worked fast. Naruto was covered with blood from his feet down to his upper chest, where Ude was currently working. The rack had apparently been hoisted higher so the priest wouldn't have to stoop to work on Naruto's chest as he hung upside down.

"Mmm…" That was Sasuke, stirred from insensibility by her scream. He took in the sight in moments, then screamed as well. "NARUTO!"

The chanting never wavered.

Twenty people in ceremonial robes were arranged in four ranks split on each side of the altar. At one end of the room sat a bear, large by bear standards, though nothing like the immense summons they had fought the day before.

The room was tall, the ceiling over fifty feet over their heads, supported by immense stone columns carved with curving decorations. From the ceiling dangled dozens of heavy black chains. From some hung more braziers, from others…

Empty racks, like those she was in. Like the one Naruto dangled in.

And in the far corner, discarded and all but forgotten, lay a small pile of bodies. Five, maybe. Just five, tossed casually aside.

She screamed. She pleaded. She quite lost herself in mindless babbling for many long minutes as Ude worked, ignoring the distractions. Beside her, Sasuke did much the same thing, more futile pleading for Naruto to hang on, despite it all.

It felt quite unreal when Ude finished one particularly elaborate, spiraling rune, then, with a complete ceremonial anticlimax, drew his knife across Naruto's unprotected throat with the casual motion a man might use to kill a chicken.

Naruto, who against all odds had still been conscious despite the blood loss, gurgled shock and surprise, his face instantly awash with his remaining life's blood.

There was surprisingly little of it.

The chorus rose to a fever pitch…

And absolutely nothing else happened.

This caused some clear consternation, but Hinata was too long gone into grief and madness to notice or care.

Naruto, her idol, her love, her _life_…

Was gone.

Had just been killed before her eyes.

Dimly, over the faltering chant that surged and faded, she could hear Sasuke quietly going nuts beside her.

It didn't matter.

Nothing mattered any more.

But she would not go quietly. Not like Naruto, who'd borne the cuts without the slightest trace of pain or discomfort.

She screamed her rage and anguish. She howled threats at the cultists as they unceremoniously unstrapped Naruto and dumped him in the corner with the rest of the bodies. She spit at Bacchi, who, against all odds, turned up with a large scab over his neck to lift her rack up and off the chain hook it had been hanging on, then put it on the one over the altar, replacing Naruto's.

"Now, my dear, I'm afraid this will hurt quite a bit," Ude began conversationally, patting her consolingly on the side of her bare stomach. "We need you alive and conscious throughout the ritual while I apply the ancient prayer, and, well, as you've seen, there's a lot of cutting involved. That's why we hang you upside down, you see, so your remaining blood will go to your head and you won't pass out."

She snapped at him with her teeth, though, since she was unable to move her head, it was more of a gesture than anything.

Ude smiled at her. "Give my regards to the God Bear when he eats your soul."

Hinata screamed in rage, and he began.

She didn't even feel it.

Compared to the searing ache in her heart from watching Naruto die, the minor sting of a strip of skin being delicately cut off was nothing.

Nothing at all.

She twitched and fought, of course, but under the vice like grip of that inhuman hand, she wasn't able to interfere with his artistry. She screamed, of course, and distantly she could hear Sasuke scream as well.

But unlike the other victims of the ritual, her screams weren't for herself.

They were all for Naruto.

She screamed again, balling her hands into fists so tight that her nails bit into the palms of her hands.

Blood trickled down her stomach and dripped off her breasts. Not all of the cuts were as superficial as they looked. On some level, she realized that she was getting weaker.

Only one thought dominated her mind.

With all the blood she was spilling, her most fervent wish, the one thing she thought of, was that she wanted to be able to give that blood to Naruto.

The world dimmed. Her ears pounded.

Something… Naruto? whispered in her mind.

"_**Not just Naruto…**_" it answered, and there was a sudden burst of images and sounds and smells, memory visions a thousand times more potent than real memory, of a fox that stood as tall as a mountain, of a fox with nine tails, of a spiky haired man with eyes like pools of flame standing at the top of a flat-topped pyramid much like the one she was in, his arms spread wide as thousands of naked worshipers abased themselves around him.

The Kyubi no Kitsune. The demon sealed in Naruto's belly.

"_**Demon…? …no demon… GOD…**_" it whispered back.

A god?!

"_**You wish to offer your blood…"**_

Yes!

"_**You devote yourself to this one…**_"

Yes!

"_**You would serve me/he/us…**_"

"YES!" Hinata cried out loud, startling Ude enough that, for one moment, his blade paused. He shook his head, then continued.

"_**You two shall be my/our Heralds… you will serve, you will bring about a new age… And in return…**_"

More images, not memories, visions of the future, flashed through her mind. Of power, primal and ageless, coursing through her coils. Bowing before Naruto as he was seated on a throne of gold and bone. Running with foxes beneath dark forest canopies, being taken by a man with Naruto's face and eyes like pools of flame. Of slaves, handsome men and beautiful women serving their every need, and their enemies lying broken before them.

"YES!" she and Sasuke both cried at the same time, and she realized that she was not alone in the vision.

Sasuke worked beside her in the visions, sharing in the battles, the slaughter, the gold and glory and wanton pleasures, left and right hand followers of Naruto, avatar to the Kyubi, the most powerful demon god the world had ever known.

"_**Your every wish, your every desire, my/our lover… general… guardian… priest…**_"

Kyubi/Naruto paused.

"_**You have but to offer your life… the blood that flows in your veins… and worship me/us… And you will command my/our might and crush this cave of bear worshippers!**_"

Her consent wasn't verbal, but it was completely wholehearted. Devote herself to Naruto? She would gladly give him all of the blood in her veins. Blood that, even now, ran down her naked body.

Her consent was all it took. She could actually feel Naruto's eyes open.

And she began to laugh.

Ude paused in his carving of a curving symbol that trailed from her right breast down to encircle her neck.

Her pale, liquid white eyes focused on him, and she smiled in such a way that it reminded him that smiles had started off as a way of baring the teeth in threat.

"Your pathetic, shambling bear that you love so much will never see my soul," she assured him, the words coming easily to her tongue. "I belong to another."

He blinked at her, startled. He had seen no mark on her or the boys. Yet… she was right. There was something indefinable about her, something he couldn't see, but the knowledge he got from his arm, the false shoggoth that had been gifted him, told him that she was not like the others. Perhaps that was why the summoning had failed with the loud blond one?

"Oh? And what do you worship, then?" he asked, toying with the bronze ceremonial knife.

"My God is a god of foxes and fire, of ninefold power older than even your seven tailed bear. He will eat you and your followers and your god and your soul…" she said in a sing-song voice. "For He is more powerful than you can imagine, and your bear is just a cub before Him. He will save me from your knife, and He will allow me to crush you all in His name." Her eyes were wide and bright. A single drop of blood ran down the side of her face, past her left eye, and disappeared into her short dark hair.

Ude frowned slightly, keeping his shock at the mention of the Kyubi no Kitsune off his face.

"Hmm. Well, perhaps your soul is spoken for." He smiled in return, and it was every bit as vicious as her own. "But your body is still here, with me. And I'm still going to feed you to the bears."

She struggled briefly with her bonds, as if impatient to get on with his slaughter.

Ude quirked one eyebrow at her as he readied the bronze knife to cut her throat. "Where is your god now?"

Hinata giggled, her eyes mad… and focused beyond him.

"He's right behind you. And he's angry."

Naruto seemed to levitate to his feet, going from sprawled out on his back to upright in one smooth, inhuman motion. His eyes burned like pools of flames in the darkened corner of the ceremonial chamber, and his mouth twisted into a snarl, letting his elongated fangs shine in the flickering firelight. His hands twisted into claws even as the whisker marks on his cheeks deepened and darkened. His posture changed as well. Though he started out up like a man, he hunched forward, his back curving, his arms reaching out, and he became more and more beastlike until finally he stood on all fours, his head twisted to growl his anger at Ude and the assembled congregation.

Chakra burst to life like a sudden wildfire all over his body, red and dense. It coalesced into an outline around him, an outline of a fox. A single tail of pure demonic, or godlike, chakra fluffed and waved behind him.

Naruto snarled.

The bear guarding the entrance way whuffed rage and started lumbering towards him, intent on doing battle with the sudden intruder.

Without even looking, or raising his true hand, a hand of pure red chakra leapt from him and slammed into the ton of shambling, enraged bear, and crushed it into a smear of blood and meat that coated the stones.

"He's gonna eat yooouuuu…" Hinata sang.

A row of holes opened on Ude's arm and the false shoggoth piped madly.

Naruto seemed to explode from the corner, flying through the startled ranks of the assembled acolytes and sending broken and bleeding bodies flying. The demon fox arms reached out in front of him, stretching impossibly far to slap angrily at the man who threatened his female.

Ude's arm wrapped around him instantly, but this time, it couldn't stop the ferocity of the attack. He was sent flying, brushing the rack Hinata was strapped to and setting it to jangling and bouncing back and forth, even as he rolled across the floor and slammed into the wall.

"Teliki-li! Teliki-li! Teliki-li!"

Like an ocean tide, the immense mutable body of the shoggoth, always waiting just out of sight, came flowing in through the entrance to the temple, its pseudopods reaching out and forming fangs, claws, spikes, and slavering mouths in its eagerness to feed on the opposing god.

Naruto ran towards it even as it extended its mass towards him, drawing in breath as he did so. His chest swelled and he threw his head back, then snapped it forward again as he spat an explosive mixture of power and air at the reaching shoggoth.

His mighty exhalation blasted away the pseudopods in a shower of unnamable parts and black ichor, then he was on it, his clawed hands raking at the membranous flesh even as the chakra fox he wore like a shroud tore and bit with its giant claws and fangs, ripping into the body.

The shoggoth recoiled from the unexpected power and ferocity of the attack, shedding pieces of itself as it formed a layer of armor beneath the terrible wounds Naruto was inflicting, then forcing the chakra claws away.

Naruto's fury could not be shed so easily, and his tail lashed back and forth, bringing fire to the thing.

In a desperate move, the shoggoth formed a fresh tentacle somewhere behind the area Naruto was attacking and sent it lancing forward. It missed Naruto's body, but it tore through the back of the chakra outlining him.

Naruto screamed in pain and rage, his head mimicking the chakra fox as it turn and bit the tentacle in two, then he leapt away, landing on all fours and shaking himself, a move that actually caused a tremor to run through the ground itself.

"Teliki-li!" the shoggoth piped.

Naruto roared defiance.

More tentacles exploded from the shoggoth, spearing towards him. Naruto spun and dodged, faster than anything human could hope to be as he weaved through the temple pillars, then raked the flesh with chakra claws six feet long.

A club like extension of ivory and black, knobby flesh caught him a glancing blow and sent him spinning across the room into a wall with a bone-jarring thud. He rose in seconds, but was slower, more cautious when he approached on stiff legs.

The shoggoth trilled.

Naruto snarled.

He sent an arm of chakra at it, slashing at the thick wall of flesh it put up to defend. It immediately fired jagged barbs and toothed suckers at him, but he suddenly disappeared underground with a rumble and earsplitting crack of shattered stone.

The shoggoth appeared to hump upwards in the middle, slammed by some attack from below, then, trilling once more, it seemed to drain away, chasing Naruto through the tunnel he'd ripped through the rock and earth.

Hinata and Sasuke hung in their restraints, swaying with quiet metallic squeaks in the violence of the two titans' clash.

Hinata, pushed past her limits from blood loss and stress, quietly sagged in the straps, her eyes wide and staring.

Many long minutes passed. Sometimes Sasuke could hear a rumble somewhere, and once something happened that rocked the place enough to cause a single squeak from the chain holding him up.

After over twenty minutes had gone by, something red glimmered in the hole Naruto had disappeared down.

Its ears laid back, the head of the Kyubi appeared in the hole, quickly followed by Naruto's head and the rest of its/their body. The chakra outlining him seemed to have gaps in it, wounds in the very nature of the Kyubi itself, but they slowed it down not at all.

Naruto was power incarnate as he padded silently to the interrupted sacrifice and his newest worshippers.

"Is… is it dead?" Sasuke whispered.

Naruto turned fox eyes on him. "**I will hunt and kill it soon… I am needed.**"

The leather straps holding him to the rack smoked and cracked under the wave of power Naruto pulsed, and suddenly Sasuke was falling, barely retaining enough presence of mind to grab at the rack and land mostly on his hands and knees, shivering and tingling with renewed blood and sensation. He turned to look at Hinata.

The Kyubi… or was it Naruto? reached up with surprising gentleness to grab Hinata's waist. The straps let go without protest as he pulled, and the pale, bloody girl came loose to be cradled in his arms. He lay her down on the bloody altar, and stood staring down into her pale white eyes. She wasn't breathing, and her heart did not beat. She'd given too much of herself to bring Naruto back.

"**But what is mine to take is mine to give**," he growled in a deep voice, leaning down and sinking his, and the chakra teeth of his fox counterpart, into her shoulder. Chakra pulsed like a heartbeat, and Hinata's heart beat along in time, her chest resuming its rise and fall of breath as if it had never stopped.

Naruto let go, and blood welled up from the tooth marks in her shoulder, even as all of the other wounds on her body began closing at an incredible rate.

Still, her eyes remained dead.

He reached up with his right hand, fingers still twisted into inhuman claws, and tore viciously at his left forearm. Blood, bright, lustrous red blood, welled up in the cuts and flowed slowly down his arm as he let it hang. The vibrant red of the blood trickled down his wrist and hand, then hit streaks of black on his claws, ichor from the wounds he had inflicted on the shoggoth, and mixed, forming a deeper red that darkened as it reached the tips.

"**I gift my power to your eyes**," he intoned, holding two claws over her face, one over each eye.

A single drop of his blood, no longer red, fell from each claw and splashed into her sightless eyes like a drop of India ink into a cup of milk. But the ink did not dilute and mix. It spread, his essence, and something extra, darkening those orbs of solid white into purest, empty black.

Hinata rose, her black eyes wide and furious as she prepared to serve Naruto and crush all who threatened them. Her killing intent spiked hard as she focused it on everyone around her except Naruto and Sasuke, prepared to kill first and ask questions later.

Such was the fury of her dread new gaze that even Gai stepped back in alarm, raising his fists to fight or defend as needed. Lee's heart thudded in his throat, and Tenten felt like an ant under a magnifying glass, about to be smote with a power not of her understanding.

It was worst of all for Neji, weakened due to blood loss from the cut given him by Hinata's chakra spike driven by her savage kick. CPR had restarted his heart shortly after Gai had managed to clamp off the bleeding arteries and pack the wound with bandages, but he was only barely conscious before Naruto had done his thing and suddenly Hinata had woken up broadcasting death and power like nothing he'd ever experienced.

Overwhelmed, he fainted once more.

"UDE!" Hinata raged. "WHERE IS HE?!"

Naruto took it all in stride, smiling in such a feral way as to show his elongated canines. "Ude is dead, Hinata. You killed him." He held her hitai-ate out, letting it dangle from his hand.

She stared at him uncomprehending for a moment, then awareness of her situation came back to her. She nodded, then took the forehead protector. The metal of the sealed plate felt cool under her fingers as she dropped it into position over her eyes, and the terrible power of her vision abated.

X

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X


	19. Memories Lie: ten

Tenten strongly preferred weapons to any other form of combat, and although she relied on storage scrolls to keep literally hundreds of weapons on her, she also kept a number of smaller throwing blades on her. There was one set of three, thin, small throwing knives, razor sharp, that fit in an arm sheath hidden by her shirtsleeve that she liked best. Not because she used them much, they were actually a last resort type of weapon, but she liked them because, when nervous or bored, she would play with the sheath.

It calmed her to pick at the leather straps that held it in place, to run her hands over the tight stitching, and to trace the handles of the trio of knives.

She tried not to make a habit of it, but sitting in the waiting room of the hospital and worrying about Neji left her twitchy.

It didn't help that Naruto and Sasuke sat across from them, sitting calm and composed. At first she wanted to berate them for not taking the situation seriously enough, but then she realized that they were. Earlier they had both been talkative or snarky. Now they just sat there.

They were watching her, that much was clear. She slid one of the knives out slightly, then reseated it, making sure it would be instantly available.

If there was one thing she was sure of, it was that they wouldn't give her time to think anything over if they suddenly attacked her. She couldn't imagine why they would suddenly attack her, but she wasn't taking any chances with them.

Not anymore.

Lee sat beside her, drumming his fingers and bumping his knee at the same time. He normally wasn't this irritating, but he was upset and she couldn't blame him. Lee always had a hummingbird's level of energy, and when in any kind of stressful situation he was happiest when he knew who to fight.

But who should they fight? Naruto and Sasuke hadn't raised a finger to them, yet. They'd mocked and angered them, but not hit them. Hinata had only fought Neji, after deliberately trying to provoke him, and now they were in a kind of limbo.

Should she say something to them, give them the chance to apologize? Were they even sorry?

She didn't know what to do, so she sat there, glowered at them, and waited for Gai to come back.

He finally did, with Hinata in tow.

Hinata's left arm had been broken in the fight, and that more than her stopped heart had spoken to how seriously Neji had fought back. Lee broke bones, it was a part of his fighting style. He'd cracked her ribs once with a kick, and that was on accident. He did far more damage when fighting for real. But Neji used the gentle fist style, which could be used to break bones with projected chakra, but Neji usually paralyzed his opponents with ease.

After Hinata had woken up, broadcasting killer intent like a monster, Gai ordered Team Seven apart from them while he put out the burning field with a water technique Tenten had never seen before. Then he grabbed Neji and ran for Konoha, ordering them all to follow him to the hospital.

Gai reached the hospital long before they did, but when they got there, Sasuke had lost little time grabbing a nurse. Hinata had been hustled away in moments, leaving just the four of them in the waiting room.

Now Hinata was back, her arm in a sling, and she quickly took up a position to Naruto's left as he and Sasuke stood.

Gai stopped in front of them, staring at them all impassively.

Tenten couldn't help but smirk a little, because now, now they were nervous. Gai was an easygoing teacher most of the time, but he could be stern, and the others weren't so confident anymore. She could actually feel Naruto's eagerness to talk, to explain himself to Gai, because that was what he did.

He explained things. He talked people into things and he talked people out of things. If Gai gave him an opening, he'd jump on it. He'd probably talk for ten minutes straight, spinning some wild story about how it was all just a big misunderstanding or some other lie like that.

She was there. She'd seen how they'd gone after Neji.

Like assassins.

She shivered just a little.

But it's hard to reason with, and by extension lie to, a man who won't listen.

Gai didn't say a word. He just stood there, looking at them with an expression of purest disappointment. She'd felt a fraction of that look before. It wasn't pleasant. But that was good, because her fellow genin weren't pleasant people.

Team Seven stood there nervously under that stern glare for what felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes.

And Gai turned away, dismissing them without a word. She saw them hurry away down the hall towards the exit as he walked towards her and Lee.

She gulped, hoping he wasn't mad at her for not preventing what had happened, though how she could have accomplished such a task was a mystery.

"The doctor says that Neji will have to stay under observation for at least two days, then he'll be released. But no training for at least five days and no missions for at least nine," he said without preamble. "You may go see him now."

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By the time they made it out of the hospital, they had slowed to a walking pace again. As soon as they got outside, Naruto suddenly stopped, whirled, and grabbed Hinata into a fierce bear hug, careful not to crush her injured arm.

"Naruto…" she said quietly as Sasuke put his hand on her shoulder and kind of stood there awkwardly.

Naruto suddenly released the hug, but grabbed each of her shoulders in an almost painful grip.

"Don't. You. EVER. Almost die on me like that again," he growled, punctuating his first few words with rough shakes, his eyes flickering red has he stared at the metal of her hitai-ate.

"I-"

And suddenly she was drawn into another crushing embrace, which she returned with her good arm.

"I think he's trying to tell you that you scared the crap out of him," Sasuke noted wryly.

"Thank you, Obvious-san," Naruto hissed, turning his face out of her hair just enough to give Sasuke the evil eye.

"Not everyone gets your oh so subtle little insights, so I figured I'd start helping out."

"Fuck you, Sasuke. Just… fuck you, alright?" He finally released Hinata.

"I'm sorry for worrying you, Sasuke," Hinata said politely, turning to the black haired boy.

Sasuke opened his mouth, then closed it again and gave them both a sour look as Naruto started laughing.

"She read you like a book, Sasuke, don't deny it," Naruto gasped out between giggles. He stopped laughing as Sasuke hmpfed and turned away. "No, no, don't be like that. It's cute that you care."

Sasuke sighed at the irritation.

"How's your arm?" Naruto asked.

"When you set it, your chakra healed some of the internal bleeding and swelling," Hinata explained. "It was only a simple break by the time the medic looked at it. He used a technique to speed it up further, and said it'd be healed within a week or so. But since he didn't know about the healing you gave me… probably only a few days. I wish Sasuke could have copied the jutsu. We could use some healing techniques."

"True," Naruto agreed. The Kyubi's chakra gave them an edge, but it wasn't instant regeneration, even for him. Given the damage he'd already survived, though, it was possible that a normal physical attack could not kill him, but he never wanted to push his luck. And that was just normal attacks. Even the Kyubi itself had been brought down by the Fourth. Hinata and Sasuke were far more vulnerable, and that concerned him a great deal.

Sasuke nodded, finding no fault with her logic. "So, what now? You go home and metaphorically toss Neji's head at your father's feet?"

"That was the plan. I didn't really win, but I definitely didn't lose, since he's still in the hospital and I'm walking away," she said.

Naruto shook his head. "This isn't over."

They both turned their heads to him.

He made a clone, which immediately scampered off into the bushes. "Come on. Let's talk about this over lunch. Yakitori, anyone?"

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"The problem is, Gai is pissed at us," Naruto explained, gesturing with a bare skewer. "Now it may be that he just won't have anything else to do with us, but it also may be that, at some point in the future, he will use his power and influence to fuck us."

Neither of the other two said anything, instead dipping their yakitori into tare sauce and eating it. They were at another outdoor stall, sitting on stools and eating slowly, but deliberately. Sasuke was slower than the others, but he didn't currently have demonic chakra sending his metabolism through the roof. The chef wasn't especially friendly, but he was willing to put up with the demon brat given he was also in the company of two of the most famous clans of Konoha. Still, he spent most of his time at the other end of the shack, which was actually appreciated by the team.

"So, as I mentioned earlier, it's not about us. Gai brought us along with his students because they're supposed to learn something from it. I don't know what, specifically, but I can guess. Neji… He's just a dick, and he's sort of indisposed at the moment, so forget him for now. Hinata can use her influence on him later. But Tenten, a girl with a mind like that should lead those two idiots, and she's clearly falling down on the job." Naruto paused and tore into another skewer, washing it down with tea.

"She said she wasn't the leader when I made a comment. Seemed upset that I assumed," Sasuke noted.

"Yeah. She was confused when I first mentioned it, then got defensive," Naruto replied. "Other than not being in charge, she seems pretty decent. Smart, intuitive, logical, and able to look underneath the underneath. I mean, I can't speak for her combat ability, but there's no way we could fix something like that in the time we have left. Gai could be talking to the Hokage about us right now."

"You like her," Hinata noted.

"…Yeah. I think I do," Naruto replied thoughtfully.

"You gonna kill her?" Sasuke asked, turning to look at Hinata.

Hinata made a big show of thinking about the question.

"Hah, hah. No, she's just the first genin I've ever seen that I can stand. Present company excluded, of course." He paused. "Except Sasuke."

Sasuke snorted. "Double negatives? Really, Naruto?"

"Our other problem is Lee," Naruto continued, ignoring his friend. "Lee… Gah, where to begin?"

"He's not hopeless," Hinata offered in counterpoint. "If his taijutsu is anywhere near what rumors say, he's probably a force to be reckoned with in battle. And his mind isn't a total loss." She sat her yakitori down and took a sip of her soda, dutifully paid for by Sasuke. She'd told him Neji was too controlled to immediately attack him, no matter how he pushed, but he thought he could do it.

"He fooled you with that fake jutsu," Sasuke reminded, and the cool professional way he said it only emphasized the amusement he clearly felt. He honestly hadn't minded losing the bet with Hinata. It was only a coke, and Neji's anger had been so worth it.

"Yeah. I won't deny it," Naruto said ruefully. "He's not a loss. Gai wouldn't have picked him as his pet project if there wasn't something there. And that's exactly why I think we need to come up with something major for Lee. If we fix Tenten, that'll help their team the most, but if we fix Lee, that'll probably please Gai the most. Maybe even enough to forgive us."

"So we fix him. But what, exactly, do we fix? Teach him some ninjutsu?" Sasuke asked.

"I'm honestly pretty fond of the idea of giving him some of my chakra and seeing what happens," Naruto admitted. "It did wonders for enhancing your natural abilities. But somehow I don't think that's the answer."

"Gai would murder you."

They looked at Hinata.

She shrugged. "He watched Lee with affection and pride, especially when Lee made a comment about hard work. He wants Lee to rely on his own efforts."

Naruto nodded slowly. "It does make you wonder what he's doing with Lee, though. A pure taijutsu specialist? Abandoning ninjutsu and genjutsu? What kind of benefits could outweigh the obvious drawbacks?"

"I want to fight him," Sasuke said.

"Yeah. Me, too." Naruto tore the last piece of chicken off his skewer, then sat it to the side with the others.

Hinata also finished her skewer and sat it down on the countertop. She then wiped her fingers and raised her hitai-ate, revealing her now solid black eyes, like a perfect sphere of obsidian, only they didn't reflect the light. She studied the wooden stick for several moments, then gently brushed the tip of one finger along its length.

The skewer turned into a long, skinny pile of splinters.

Naruto watched the process with a neutral gaze. "So you're back to seeing the flaws in things." It was not a question.

"Yes, and my chakra seems easier to manipulate," she replied. "I wonder what techniques this will influence."

Naruto shrugged. "Honestly? I bet you'll be able to create a whole new style of juken. That'd be fitting for a future clan leader, right?"

"Does it work on metal as well?" Sasuke asked. "We've seen wood and rock, but what about-" he fished in his equipment pouch for a kunai and held it up, "steel?"

Hinata turned to look, and Sasuke didn't flinch at meeting those eyes. It was Hinata, after all.

She studied the blade intently. "It is made well, I didn't see any obvious flaws in it when I examined it the other day," she said, referring to having checked the quality on all their equipment when they restocked. "But… I believe…" she trailed off, extending one finger and tapping sharply on one of the flat surfaces of the kunai.

It wasn't just her finger, though. She also projected chakra from the tenketsu in her fingertip, which she used to target a fold line where the steel's crystalline structure changed and strike at the join.

With a quiet crack, a jagged break appeared where she'd tapped and about a third of the blade fell off. Sasuke caught it before it could hit the ground and looked at it closely.

"Nice," he said. "But too slow for battle."

"But too slow for battle," she agreed. "I need time to train and see what can be done with it."

Naruto sighed. "Time, time, ask me for anything but time."

"We have been sort of occupied lately," Sasuke noted with some amusement. "I look forward to figuring out some of my clan's dojutsu techniques, and seeing how my own new abilities work, but first things first." He changed the conversation back to the original topic. "Do you know what to do about Lee?"

Naruto shrugged. "Not exactly. One thing that jumped out at me is that he's not one hundred percent behind the idea of devoting himself to hard work and taijutsu."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "He certainly seemed insistent."

"He was defensive, repeating rote answers to convince himself as much as us," Hinata replied, covering her eyes once more and resuming her meal. She was hungry.

"Ah."

"Yeah. So that's a weak spot. Also, as a group, they've never really been tested. They've done, what, a dozen Cs? And only four of them saw any kind of combat at all, just bandits and thugs. Given Gai's emphasis on physical ability, if they had even a moments trouble I'll be surprised. So it's no wonder they're such a crappy team. I mean, look at us before the mission."

They said nothing. Though they hadn't discussed it much, they were each aware that something fundamental had changed within them.

"Remember what they did when Neji went down?"

"Nothing." Sasuke's tone was dark.

"Exactly. They knew, they actually realized that we'd provoked Neji into fighting, and Hinata took him down. And what did they do? Nothing. Tenten ignored us as if we weren't a threat and focused all her efforts on Neji. Lee's only contribution was to scream for Gai-sensei. We could have killed them all with no resistance. And did you see Tenten in the hospital?"

"Threatening us with those hidden kunai?" Sasuke asked.

"No, she was nervous," Naruto explained. "Her eyes kept darting around. And Lee was even more upset, yet she did nothing for him."

They all stared down into their food for several moments. Hinata sat her last yakitori skewer down and pushed it away before she'd finished it. Somehow, it didn't taste so good anymore.

"So, I think we should confront them and explain exactly what they're doing wrong in the strongest possible terms," Naruto continued. "Originally, I'd planned that, if we had to fight Lee or Tenten, we'd throw the fight so they'd get their mad out and not harbor as much resentment. But I don't think we should do that, now."

"They don't deserve to win," Sasuke said quietly.

"They don't deserve to win. But we've got to teach them. It is our duty and obligation, to them as our sempai and to Gai as our temporary sensei."

"Not to mention that, ideally, it'll get Gai-sensei off our backs," Hinata noted.

Naruto nodded.

"So… just to make sure I'm understanding you," Sasuke began, "your clever plan to fix Tenten and Lee is to beat the hell out of them and show them exactly how and why you were able to beat the hell out of them thanks to their own personal faults, and they'd better get better before they get killed?"

Naruto nodded.

Sasuke's expression brightened. "Well, I like it."

"If violence doesn't solve your problems, you didn't use enough," Hinata said quietly.

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Naruto sat on the rooftop of a large, flat roofed store on the edge of the merchant district. A taller, more traditional style apartment building loomed beside the store, with multiple levels of brightly painted ornate woodwork and red tiled roofs that provided a wedge of shade from the hot afternoon sun. It was still quite warm, despite the shade, and Naruto had slid down the low wall that ringed the roof and leaned against the hot brick, getting comfortable to the point he had actually fallen asleep.

Hinata sat on his left side, far enough away that she was able to all but completely lay on her side and put her head on his stomach, her bandaged left arm draped over her side and her right hugging his leg. He'd draped one arm over her shoulder casually, and his other hand was tangled in her hair. Her breathing was peaceful, and she, too was asleep, recovering her strength from the events of the morning.

Sasuke sat on the brick above them, looking out across Konoha. He was the only one awake, though his eyelids drooped and his motions languid. If asked what he was doing, he'd say he was guarding against pigeons. Really, he wasn't doing much in particular, except being awake, and waiting. Naruto hadn't gotten much sleep that night, Hinata had done all the fighting, and someone had to keep watch.

They waited patiently, until finally, across Konoha, Naruto's clone that had been assigned to follow Tenten and Lee finally dispelled.

Naruto twitched visibly and opened his eyes, rubbing at his face with one hand. The motion instantly woke Hinata, who pushed herself upright, and drew Sasuke's attention. They looked at Naruto expectantly.

"They're at training ground Thirty-one," Naruto said after a brief pause, reviewing his newest memories. "Both are training, so we'd better hurry. Wouldn't want them to get tired before we get there."

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Sweat poured off of Lee's limp hair, droplets flying through the air from the force of his exertions as he threw dozens of straight right punches into the upright log, mentally counting them off. The sun was starting its journey down the sky, and the air was still, with cicadas droning on all around them.

Across the clearing, Tenten had the weighted end of a kusarigama blurring in mid air as she whipped it back and forth, then, with a twist of her wrists and forearms, she wrapped it around her own training log at about chest level, then leapt into the air and pulled on the now entangled chain to send herself flying at the log. The sharp scythe blade ripped across her target's 'throat' in a spray of splinters, and she jumped away, recovering the chain and weight as she did so.

"What in the hell is wrong with you people?" Naruto asked, his voice ringing out across the clearing.

She whirled, startled, to see Naruto, Sasuke, and Hinata enter the clearing.

"What?!" she exclaimed.

Lee simply turned and ignored them, going back to punching the log, although with more force than before.

"I just don't get it," Naruto said loudly as he walked closer. Suddenly, he flicked a kunai he'd palmed at Lee's back.

Lee instantly darted aside, and the kunai sank into the post. He balanced on the balls of his feet twenty feet to one side, his fists raised.

"Good, you are paying attention," Naruto said mildly.

"What the hell do you want, Uzumaki?" she spat. "Haven't you caused enough trouble today?"

He sighed and shook his head, as if in real regret. "No, apparently not. Because you're still not taking us very seriously."

"Go away. You are not wanted here," Lee said darkly.

"Actually, your sensei did want us here. Did you ever stop to wonder why?" Naruto asked as Sasuke moved about ten feet to one side and Hinata held back, letting the two boys advance. "Or did you just accept it as one of those things? Don't you get it? You're supposed to _learn_ something from all this."

"Gai-sensei did not bring you in to hurt Neji-kun," Lee denied firmly.

Naruto shrugged ruefully. "That's true, and I'm glad you noticed. That was our agenda, just some Hyuga family business. It was important, otherwise we'd have been glad to spare you the hassle. Gai-sensei is, admittedly, a little peeved at us right now. But, we still have a job to do. We just don't have any time to do it the easy way."

Tenten narrowed her eyes and began spinning the weight of her kusarigama again in slow, menacing arcs. "You lie."

Naruto shrugged. "I'm a ninja. Deception is part of the job description. But I'm not lying now. You three are a terrible team. Individually, I'm sure you're all quite talented. But together? You're terrible. Neji gave away Lee's weaknesses. Lee was more concerned about calling for help than helping. You just stand there lost in your own little indecision while everything goes to hell around you. Neither of you stood up for Neji when we attacked him," he snarled. "What the hell kind of team acts like that?!" he shouted. "Where were you when you needed each other?!"

"We don't owe you any kind of explanation, Uzumaki," Tenten growled, hoisting the scythe part of the kusarigama into a ready position. "And we damned sure don't want to hear any of your bullshit."

Naruto smirked. "It's not about what you want, Tenten. It's about what Gai-sensei wants. And what Gai-sensei wants, Gai-sensei gets. So now, we're going to show you exactly what you're doing wrong, by beating the lesson into your thick skulls." He made a motion at Sasuke. "Sasuke? Be my guest."

His sharingan eyes started to spin faster, and his whole body tensed in preparation for the oncoming fight.

Tenten's heart pounded in her chest, but it was Lee that made the first move.

"I know Gai-sensei," Lee said quietly, "and Gai-sensei wanted us all to be friends." His eyes hardened. "I'll be your friend, Naruto-kun." His voice was deceptively soft. Then he seemed to disappear before Naruto's eyes, darting to one side, then forward at a speed no genin should be capable of, his fist coming up from his waist and twisting at the last possible moment before it slammed into Naruto's face.

Naruto's nose splintered under the incredible impact and the follow through sent him cart wheeling backwards to slide across the grass in an ungainly heap.

Tenten gaped at the ferocity of the attack Lee had just performed. She hadn't known Lee could be so vicious.

"That's the only kind of friendship you know, right? Punching people in the face? That's what you said." Lee shook his head. "I pity you, Naruto."

Naruto groaned, spitting blood, and raised his face up. His nose was flattened and split, blood running freely down the sides and out his nostrils. "No, Lee," he said in a nasal tone. "I pity you. My teammates don't just watch when the fight is on."

That was about the point Sasuke finally finished carefully sneaking his wire through the grass and got it around Lee's ankle. He formed a half seal and seemed to glow from within, sending a massive burst of electricity down the wire and into Lee's body, causing smoke to rise where it touched the grass.

Lee stiffened and cried out, his muscles locking into a paralysis as the electricity overwhelmed his nerves.

And finally, a shuriken sank into the earth near his ankle, cutting the wire and stopping the electrocution. Three more quickly followed the first, but Sasuke had no trouble spotting them in mid air, dodging, and he quickly sent two flying back at her in return several feet apart, and two more hidden in the first ones' shadow.

When the technique was cut, Lee collapsed to his knees, his whole body feeling like so much jello. Naruto's flying kick took him full in the chest and laid him out on his back, gasping. Naruto didn't give him any time to rest, though, and quickly leapt into the air, performing a showy full forward flip as he extended one foot, intending to bring it down across Lee's chest, but Lee was Gai's student. He kicked with his feet and threw his whole lower body into the air, lashing out with both feet and hitting Naruto's calf before he'd reached maximum speed and extension. The interruption caused Naruto to hit the ground on his back, giving Lee time to throw his body into the air again and use his hands to spring away.

Tenten saw the two incoming shuriken and quickly flicked out two more of her own, sending them unerringly on an intercept course. Both shuriken were deflected and sent spinning into the ground. The two behind them were an unpleasant surprise, but they were still far enough away she'd be able to deflect them as well. She held the kusarigama with her left hand and drew out more shuriken.

It was luck that she caught the twist Sasuke's wrists made. It was skill that told her what it meant, for that was one of the moves used to control wire guided weapons, something she had a good bit of experience at. And it was quick thinking that reminded her of what Sasuke could do if he got wire on you.

Her left arm blurred and she sent the kusarigama spinning away from her in a loose tangle of chain that expanded as it rotated, tangling the wire trailing behind the shuriken and bringing them all down in a hopeless tangle. Her right cocked back, jabbing the point of one of the shuriken into her upper left arm through the cloth, then it whipped back down, sending three weapons she'd palmed at Sasuke's position as she leapt into the air, pulling a small but thick storage scroll out of her equipment pouch.

Sasuke suddenly grinned and pulled a double handful of senbon from an equipment pouch behind his back.

Lee charged at Naruto as the blond flipped to his feet, throwing a series of quick jabs, one of which was blocked by Naruto's forearm, and two of which connected with his gut. Naruto grunted at the impact, and it was suddenly Lee's turn to dart away again as a razor sharp wakizashi slashed through the space between them.

Naruto grinned. "Come on, Lee, let me cut you down like that tree Gai-sensei was talking about." His eyes lit up and his voice grew louder. "For I am a farmer of men!"

Lee drew himself up to his full height, his eyes hard. "Come then. Reap the whirlwind. Konoha senpu!" He charged forward once more, ducking at the last moment to avoid Naruto's slash, twisted and lashed out with one foot to strike Naruto's chest, then, as the shorter boy started to fly backwards, spun and kicked him again in the stomach, launching him across the clearing, nearly to the trees.

Naruto took only a few seconds to regain his feet, and they were all the time he had before Lee hit him again, but this time he exploded into chakra smoke, leaving Lee standing there warily, looking back and forth as he tried to anticipate the next attack.

Back across the clearing, Sasuke flung two dozen senbon in a wide spread at Tenten, only six actually aimed at her directly. Then he prepared to dodge as Tenten slapped at the small cut on her arm with her right hand, then put a streak of blood down the scroll she unrolled in her left. Three kunai were sent at Sasuke, who rolled out of the way, and the fourth weapon unsealed was a large folding tessen two feet across, which she used to block several senbon that came close to hitting her. The other senbon, which had been aimed to block escape routes and distract, were rendered moot as she simply landed back on the ground and ignored them. Instead of pressing her attack, though, she immediately spun and threw the tessen in a side arm throw at the bushes directly behind her, just as five Naruto clones leapt out and charged.

The fan wobbled through the air erratically and struck one of the clones in the throat. It disappeared with a gurgle and a pop.

"You throw differently from Sasuke, Naruto!" she called, quickly unsealing more weapons and flicking them at the charging clones. Each one dodged one or two, but she threw three dozen kunai, shuriken, and senbon. The last visible clone died in the middle of the barrage, but she continued to throw, peppering the bushes with weapons. Three more soft cries were her reward, and she turned back to Naruto-as-Sasuke.

Two Naruto clones leapt out of the bushes and charged at Lee, quickly followed by four more behind each of them in a straight line.

The front one on the left reached him first, and he casually disrupted it with a quick kick. His right fist lashed out at the one on the right.

It ducked and slammed an elbow into his floating ribs.

Lee dropped his own elbow on its head, and was able to graze it hard enough to disrupt the henge and reveal Sasuke flipping backwards to lash his foot out at Lee's face. Lee leaned backwards, and four Naruto clones slammed into his other side in a concentrated effort, tossing him forward enough that Sasuke's kick caught him under the jaw. His head snapped back and he fell forward, pinned under three Naruto clones as one dispelled in the impact.

Lee was made of tough stuff, though, and Sasuke's kick, while powerful, was nothing compared to a tap from Gai. He twisted left and backhanded with enough force that he was able to destroy all three clones at once, and his straight right punch had enough reach to force Sasuke to abandon his next attack and block it with an open handed slap. His movements unrestricted again, Lee performed an improbable forward roll, came up on his hands, and lashed out at Sasuke's head with his feet. Sasuke read the move and dropped low, sweeping his leg at Lee's arms, but for all his prediction, Lee was faster, and his hand flashed out to catch Sasuke's foot, leaving him supported by only one arm. Two Naruto clones had darted to one side and threw senbon at him, but Lee used the momentum from Sasuke's attack to push his shoulders sideways as he directed Sasuke's foot into the ground. His other hand flashed from the ground to his opponent's shirt and suddenly Sasuke found himself jerked bodily forward in between Lee and the flying senbon, his eyes wide.

Three hit him in the shoulder and passed through as he dispelled into smoke, striking the suddenly empty handed Lee in the side of the stomach as he landed on his head. More senbon were already flying at him.

"Teamwork's a bitch, ain't it, Lee!" one of the clones called as Sasuke picked himself off the ground where he'd been tossed in the hasty kawarimi.

'Sasuke', or possibly Naruto or one of his clones, charged Tenten as she was throwing weapons into the bushes, throwing more senbon at her from his right hand only.

Tenten reached the end of the scroll abruptly and a dozen weapons filled the air, mostly kunai, but a bo and a jian longsword were among them, and another tessen was the last thing unsealed. The heavier kunai met the incoming senbon and bounced them off course, but the flights of the kunai were actually corrected by the impacts, sending them all flying at 'Sasuke'.

Sasuke's run changed instantly into a kind of half step stagger, and suddenly he spun once in the air, chakra becoming visible as it rippled and tossed the kunai harmlessly away. 'His' run was but momentarily interrupted by the first rotation of the kaiten and the attack was resumed, one arm held ready to strike and the other dangling loosely.

"Kaiten! But that's a Hyuga-" she cried as she kicked the butt of the bo staff and sent it like a javelin at who she now suspected to be Hinata, keeping the sword in her right and the fan in her left as she prepared to ward off the gentle fist style. Two more Naruto clones leapt out of the bushes and charged her.

"Yes, it is," 'Sasuke' agreed, becoming Hinata, her hitai-ate still on her forehead. She advanced.

"You're Hinata! That's not very fair, three on two!" she complained as she ran, adjusting her run to intercept the clones. Better the clones than close up with a Hyuga, and with luck she could kill them quick and get some distance. She already knew she was faster at covering ground that Hinata, all she needed was enough space to break out one of her larger storage scrolls. It had never worked against Neji, but Hinata had only used the first stage kaiten, and had a broken arm as well. Maybe it would work this time.

"With me around, our enemies are always outnumbered," one of the clones replied disdainfully as they both attacked by throwing right haymaker punches.

Tenten blocked with her fan and lashed out with the jian.

One of the clone's right hand suddenly tripled in speed and glowed with chakra, slapping down hard on the flat of the thin blade near the tip and bending it far enough that the point whistled by harmlessly. The one who had spoken's fist was blocked by the fan, but his foot came around, also glowing with chakra, and slammed into the side of her thigh, doing more than just surface damage.

Tenten lurched to the side, crying out in pain, but she called on strength she didn't know she had to reverse the long straight sword, and sweep it back through the first clone's chest. It died in a burst of smoke. She twisted her grip, turning the sword ninety degrees and completing the swing by swiping at the remaining clone with the flat of the sword. Her iron fan was wrenched out of her left hand by the clone's right and thrust at the blade in time to block the sword's swing. The flexibility of the thin, springy blade, which had helped the first clone block her attack, now worked for Tenten, and the blade bent around the edge of the fan and delivered a stinging slap the clone's left shoulder, leaving behind pinked skin and one thin but stinging cut where one edge struck slightly before the other.

The impact dispelled the henge as the blade rebounded and vibrated in Tenten's hand, and the fan lowered just enough for midnight black eyes to peer over the edge.

"You were wrong about one thing. That wasn't me," Hinata said mildly, flicking the fan closed with her right hand and lashing out with the blunt instrument to jab at Tenten. Though her left arm wasn't healed enough to fight with, it was strong enough that she could lift her hand and perform seals. "He told you we share techniques, and the kaiten does not require the byakugan." She smiled. "Only power."

It was the foundation of Naruto's team fighting style he'd developed with Hinata in their time together since the academy. They couldn't share all of their techniques evenly. He could only mimic the rudiments of the juken style, because he couldn't see the chakra coils or tenketsu, and Hinata couldn't make mass numbers of kage bunshin because she didn't have the chakra for it. But they could each perform each other's styles enough that it was almost impossible for an enemy to tell them apart when they used henge. They hadn't had time to integrate Sasuke yet, but Naruto figured it was just a matter of a few weeks practice for him and Hinata. Sasuke could probably already do it for them, the sharingan gifted bastard.

The real Naruto, unknown to Tenten or Lee, was actually hiding in the bushes away from the fighting, catching his breath and letting one of his clones straighten his nose. Lee's punch had caused some damage, blocking his nasal passages with blood and sending spikes of pain through his head. The spin kick had been worse, though, knocking the wind from him and possibly cracking some ribs. It didn't impair his fighting ability, much, but it looked bad.

Naruto drew on his chakra, which was even more wild and plentiful than usual, thanks to Hinata's blood from earlier that day, and repeated the process he'd used when he'd hid his animalistic traits, this time turning himself into someone that was completely uninjured. The life from Hinata's sacrifice was already working its magic on his injuries, and by the time he dropped the hensou, he'd probably be healed. It burned chakra like mad, but he had chakra.

He had lots of chakra.

He charged from the trees, making a dozen kage bunshin as he did so. They all peeled off and went to make sure Sasuke had things well in hand, and he advanced on Hinata and Tenten. As he ran forward, he noticed the clone that had swapped with Sasuke earlier in the fight was standing still and not doing much. It looked at him, he nodded, and it dispelled, having exhausted its own chakra reserves performing the incomplete kaiten.

It'd be nice to know the finished technique, but even Hinata was still puzzling it out. It was just another reason why they needed to wrap everything up, fix things with her family, and let her get on with learning the rest of the Hyuga family secret techniques.

Lee tensed when he felt the senbon hit him, but they had been slowed considerably by the impact with the clone, and only stuck in part way, which he could feel as he quickly regained his feet and put some space between him and the clones. One part of his mind noticed that Sasuke was having to climb to his feet as well, and he deduced that a clone must have used kawarimi or a similar technique to swap him out before the senbon hit, while the rest of his attention was devoted to removing the senbon and checking the damage, which was minor. Just three bloody holes about a half inch deep. He had trained to the point his muscles were like bundles of steel cords, so he was as hard to stab as the dense wood of the training posts.

Sasuke seemed to know every move Lee was going to make, and had started to block, evade, or counter it before Lee had even decided to use the move. However, he was not as fast, and while Lee might not have the prediction abilities of the sharingan, he was used to fighting people as fast as he was, or in Gai's case, incomparably faster. It was no real problem at all to react to Sasuke's movements after he'd already made them and still have plenty of time to counter.

The clones made it harder. Not hard, exactly, but… challenging. Lee found himself smiling.

"As expected of an Uchiha," he said with respect. "Your moves are most fluid. And your teamwork with Uzumaki-kun's clones is unexpected."

Sasuke inclined his head, accepting the compliment as his due. "I thought you would be an interesting opponent," he grudgingly admitted. "I'm glad to see I was right."

Lee hesitated. "Did you really mean it when you said you'd rather fight me than Neji-kun?" he asked, feeling a strange sense of hope. "I must confess, I have never beaten Neji-kun in a fight."

Sasuke eyed him carefully, wondering if he was lying, and if he should call him on it. He decided it was Naruto's place to provoke. Instead, he would see if a little friendliness got Lee to lower his guard. "I didn't lie. I've fought Hinata, I know the style. I wanted to fight…" He hesitated as a thought occurred to him that might not go over so well. Ah, well. Sometimes you needed to poke people to see how hard they poked back. He smiled. "I wanted to fight an unconventional genius for a change."

Lee stiffened at the hated word, then relaxed and bowed slightly. "You honor me, Uchiha-kun," he said stiffly. "I will do my best to perform to your expectations." He placed one fist behind his back and held the other out, palm up, and made a come motion with his fingers.

Sasuke charged, and Lee closed on him in a blur, arms crossing and legs intertwining in a blinding display of hand to hand moves. Even with his sharingan, the speed difference was too great, and Sasuke took a dozen blows to his body and head in quick succession.

That was when Lee noticed that Sasuke's failed attacks were actually cover for a short string of hand seals. He'd deliberately closed and taken the blows to set Lee up for a ninjutsu attack. Lee's foot took him in the side as his hands came together in the last seal, and Sasuke was sent flying, only to be caught in mid air by one of the clones.

Lee advanced warily.

Tenten was hard pressed to keep Hinata from getting too close, and only the extra reach given her by the sword was enough to keep the Hyuga at bay. The jian's strength was its flexibility. Attacks flowed like water as she twisted the hilt in her hand, using the blade's momentum against the direction of travel to create slices that seemed to follow Hinata's every move and blocks that reached where her own hands couldn't.

A downward jab and a twist caused the tip to reach out and leap for Hinata's stomach, plucking a bouncing, dangling tog off her jacket as she thrust her hips backward to evade. A quick reverse and a thrust made the pommel slam into the suddenly open tessen, and two fingers of her other hand pinned the blade and twisted, sending a sine wave of motion through the jian that made it possible for her to perform a horizontal slice where the blade bent out of the way of the blocking fan like a dancer swaying her hips, the edge coming close enough to Hinata's head as she bent backwards to part a few errant strands of hair. Again she whirled and thrust, using her other hand to dampen the vibrations of the jian and bend the blade, corkscrewing the tip at a new, unexpected angle, arrowing it past the flashing fan.

Hinata was not trained in the art of the fan, which was an equally elegant, flowing style. However, the two foot fan was only slightly shorter than the sword Tenten wielded, and when unfurled it could block the entire torso from view. She quickly learned to parry close to her body, blocking the deadly kiss of the jian's tip. This only added more strength to the waves of motion that traveled up and down the blade, but her hands blurred and blocked the strikes again and again, then flashed out, the fan folded up into a roughly square rod, and prodded Tenten in the chest or slapped her arm with bruising impact. She blocked or evaded every one of Tenten's attempts, waiting patiently to launch her own attacks in ways Tenten never stood a chance of blocking.

There were no time for recriminations, but if given the chance she would have spent a lot of time regretting the decisions she'd made that lead to a close fight with Hinata. Though she'd pretty much dismissed the girl, long rumored to be pathetically shy, with a few pitying thoughts when she thought of her at all, the wounded, implacable opponent she fought now seemed to be made of springs and braided rawhide. And her eyes! Those creepy, empty, black eyes disturbed and frightened her every time she caught a glimpse of them, and she knew Hinata knew it. Tenten was good with a sword, even the fairly unique style of fighting that the flexible jian required, but she'd fought Neji before. The only way for her to fight a Hyuga on his level was distance, distance that Hinata's rapid, shuffling step advancement denied her.

And then, suddenly, Hinata stopped, leaving Tenten to thrust the jian to parry attacks which never came.

Naruto stepped out from behind Hinata and stood by her side, looking amused. "Sasuke's doing fine with Lee, so I figured I'd come play over here with you two." He cocked an eyebrow at her. "You're pretty good with that blade, and with all those kunai too. But, you know, you're still not giving it your all. I can tell." He shrugged ruefully and drew his single wakizashi, holding it in a reverse grip and looking at it fondly. "Hey, I get it. I have the same problem sometimes. You see, my real strength is in edged weapons, too. But you can't just use that kind of thing on people you're not planning on killing. It's too dangerous, so those of us that specialized for the field give up a lot of advantages when we're in a spar."

Tenten eyed him warily, her free left hand finding its way into her pouch and finding a certain pair of scrolls by the symbols carved into their ends.

Naruto smiled at her and resheathed the blade. "Now, we didn't come here to kill you, just show you a few things. But I'm gonna do you a favor. I'm gonna give you what you really need to develop your real skills: an unlimited supply of thinking, moving, fighting targets that you can kill… without actually killing anyone." He winked at her. "You'll thank me later. Taiju kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Orange. And black. It was a veritable sea of orange and black, and Tenten was in trouble, facing down literally hundreds of Narutos.

"LEE! DROP YOUR WEIGHTS!" she screamed.

Naruto's, all of the Narutos, smile widened. "Now, that's the first thing you've done right all day."

She threw the sword at him and ran, and with an eerie, harmonious chorus of excited shouts, the clones raced after her.

Lee heard Tenten's shout. Given that the sudden mass of orange clad clones that had appeared out of nowhere and swallowed up both Sasuke and the remaining two clones who'd been supporting him was a little daunting even to Lee, he didn't argue. After he'd ran back far enough to be safely out of range, he quickly bent and unfastened the straps that held the rolls of chakra infused lead weights around his ankles, dropping the pair of two hundred pound weights right there. He'd retrieve them later.

After he won.

And yet, he was slightly astonished when over half the clone army simply ignored him and ran away into the woods in all directions.

There were still about a hundred clones of Naruto… no, wait. Spots of black and grey started appearing in the loosely assembled mass of orange. Dozens of Hinatas turned empty black eyes on him. Dozens of Sasukes smirked knowingly at him.

One of the Sasukes started picking its nose, and another one nearby hit in on the back of the head, causing it to die, an unexpected burst of motion from the otherwise patiently waiting crowd.

"I assume you're faster now," one of the Sasukes called out in Hinata's voice. "But are you fast enough to beat all of us?"

"We are Team Seven," a Naruto called out in Sasuke's voice.

"We are Legion," a Hinata called out, this time in her own voice.

Lee blinked. "You surprise me again and again with that technique, Naruto-kun. You must be a genius of the shadow clone."

"Aww, flattery will get you everywhere, Lee-kun," a Naruto called back. "Yeah, I love this technique. Sometimes, when I'm watching TV and the remote is on another cushion, I make a clone get it. Ninjutsu is _awesome_."

Lee flushed angrily. "You take such delight in mocking me, Uzumaki-kun."

"None of us are as cruel as all of us," came the reply, lost in the crowd.

Lee slowly spun his arms in wide circles as he twisted his torso, stretching the muscles and loosening his joints, assessing the wounds from the senbon, then slowly brought both hands to the ready, one in front of the other.

The first charge killed ten clones before anyone could even react, and twenty more spent their lives just slowing the insanely fast movement down to a level Naruto could actually see.

Sasuke and Hinata didn't have the same trouble. Sasuke's sharingan had been jumpstarted to the mature three tomoe stage by Naruto's chakra in the bear temple, and he was still able to see and predict Lee's movements… when he was able to see him at all through the crowd of clones.

Hinata's vision didn't have the same ability to capture movement like Sasuke, but her field of vision covered more than the entire training field. With her white eyes now turned to black by the influence of Naruto's chakra and the impurities that came from the shoggoth ichor mixed with his blood, her vision was expanded in ways even other Hyuga would find odd, enabling her to see beneath layers upon layers of movement, material, chakra, and strange, angular planes she'd never even heard of. He was fast, but he was always in sight.

As fast as Lee was, he still had to take an extra fraction of a second to punch or kick a clone to death. He did it efficiently, but there were a lot of clones. And they quickly started making more to replenish the losses.

Naruto was the one doing the fighting, or attempts at fighting, and he wasn't doing very well. Lee darted past the most determined attacks, using his extra height to reach past punches that, to him, seemed to be frozen in mid air and slam his bandaged fists into the snarling face of what he'd gradually decided was his nemesis.

Naruto, for his part, realized that massed attacks just weren't working. They needed a new plan. He made new clones with new instructions, and they spread out to find his teammates. Soon he, Hinata, and Sasuke were all jerked out of the crowd by a series of kawarimi and deposited safely into the trees surrounding the clearing.

"We need a new plan," Naruto announced quickly. "What have you noticed?"

"He says he's never beaten Neji," Sasuke offered, just as quickly. "Weak against juken?"

They looked at Hinata, whose face was frozen in concentration. She blinked slowly, her actual focus still on Lee.

"He only had leg weights, not wrist. His punches are no faster than before, he just moves more quickly. I am probably faster at hand to hand, but his kicks and movement are a problem," she said thoughtfully.

"Weights…" Sasuke began. "He's used to wearing weights. That threw his balance off. I can use that. And he's moving faster than he can think. He's fighting with trained kata and reflex. Once he starts moving, he's committed."

Naruto nodded sharply. "Hard work, right? Repetitive training. Muscle memory." He grinned suddenly. "He's been fighting Neji. We give him the 64 palms and he'll react the way he's been trained. I can't use the real 64 palms, but his conditioning won't let him ignore the attacks, and when you know the pattern, you'll be able to predict his moves further ahead in time than his muscles show. Hinata can only use one arm, but he'll react as if he's blocking two, wasting movement."

Hinata smiled and nodded. Sasuke smirked, his tomoe spinning faster in anticipation. Together, they leapt back into the fray.

X

X


	20. Memories Lie: eleven

Lee sensed the tide of the battle shifting even as he killed another dozen shadow clones. The remaining ones stopped launching their futile attacks and retreated, forming a loose ring around the clearing.

Four Narutos, four Hinatas, and ten Sasukes landed in the newly created space, facing him.

One of the Narutos opened its mouth to say something, and Lee's punch all but took off its head. The clone disappeared in a burst of chakra, and the fight was on again.

"Hey, he is learning," one of the watching clones noted in an amused tone.

Lee had a strong suspicion that his real opponents were finally facing him, so it didn't come as a complete surprise when his fist slammed into a Naruto's face and met with actual flesh. When the Hinata beside it suddenly displayed lightning speed and struck a nerve junction in his right hip, causing his leg to go numb, that was also not completely unexpected. But then his counter punch missed as a Naruto finished pulling her away by the back of her jacket, a move that must have been started even before his punch hit the first Naruto. A Sasuke made a leg sweep at his feet and his good leg flashed up, then down with ruthless efficiency, stamping on the knee.

It turned out to be a clone. There were three more behind it, and suddenly he was forced to defend again as Naruto, or was it Naruto?, the one he'd hit straightened from the stomach blow and started attacking with a slow version of the 64 palms juken technique. It wasn't anywhere near Neji's speed, though, so he was able to block all the two fingered strikes and still counter and kill the three clones behind him with an elbow and a back spin fist, then throw the fist forward again and catch Naruto in the chest.

Another Naruto came flying down through the air, and its fist caught him in the temple with a resounding smack. He saw stars for a brief second, but he didn't have to see well to whip both hands up, grab the orange and black jacket, spin and slam it into the ground.

It turned out to be Sasuke, and then Hinata was flying at him from the side, her speed boosted tremendously by the combined efforts of a spin by three clones. Her hand cocked back into half of the stance of the 64 palms and she seemed to flow around his punch, her hand jabbing at his belly even as her right knee came up in a sweep that slammed into his good leg.

His own knee came up a split second later and caught her under her breasts, even as a fierce punch from Naruto caught him in the kidneys and Sasuke's prone kick slammed into the back of the knee of his numb right leg. Grimacing with effort he snagged the shoulders of Hinata's jacket and repeated the spin and slam he'd used with Sasuke. Three clones exploded into smoke as their efforts to kawarimi Hinata away were thwarted by his grip and speed.

They were not successful. She was slammed back first across Sasuke, who caught her as gently as he could, the air exploding from both their lungs. His right hand flashed back to pound into Hinata's vulnerable stomach.

A clone, propelled by another three clone spin, flew feet first at his chest, its hands already making a familiar seal. It exploded into four clones in mid air, their arms interlocked, all flying at him at the same speed as the original. He was kicked away by their combined momentum and rolled backwards across the grass, stopping himself before he rolled into the crowd. Several clones, sensing opportunity, leapt forward and threw senbon, but Lee quickly rolled away, his eyes darting around wildly.

He pounded feeling back into his leg with a few practiced movements, having spent quite a lot of time on the receiving end of juken strikes. He tested the limb, feeling pins and needles run down it as he shifted all his weight to his good leg, lifted his right leg and held it straight, then pivoted and placed his foot back on the ground. Chakra surged through his body, and he concentrated some of it in his feet, sticking himself to the ground so he could move at speeds normal traction wouldn't allow.

Team Seven was forced to be truly on the defensive for the first time, as Lee had come off the worse for being suckered in close where they could successfully counterattack. Sasuke faced him directly, his sharingan spinning. Naruto turned slightly, at Sasuke's side but turned away at an angle, and Hinata took up the other corner of the triangle, facing directly away from Lee, relying on her byakugan to see him coming.

They all pressed together so they could feel each other's movements, Sasuke's predictive abilities focused on Lee so he could guide the others with as little as a lean or a brush of his arm. Hinata insured that Lee could not gain an advantage through the simple expedient of getting behind them. A loose scattering of other clones, all Naruto this time, surrounded them, their main purpose to distract and slow Lee down, and to rescue a real body if Lee got too close. Naruto's self chosen role was to fill in the gaps and take the hits.

Without his weights, Lee was more than twice as fast than even Sasuke, the fastest of Team Seven. He owned the open ground, his speed giving him mid and long range dominance. But when he charged, zipping through the clones as though they were standing still, then launched a blisteringly fast kick at Naruto, Team Seven moved as a whole, muscles pulling on muscles pulling on muscles as a chain of four arms, Sasuke in the middle and leaning forward, contracted at once to pull Naruto and Hinata out of harm's way.

Lee sailed by harmlessly, landing, spinning, and returning, this time attacking at Hinata's left, her weak side and the only chink in the team's armor Lee could immediately identify.

Hinata saw him coming and jumped into a sideways roll across Sasuke's back even as he read her intentions and pulled across on Naruto's hand. Naruto had already began an involuntary spin from the momentum caused by the three man pull and his own contracting body. He followed Sasuke's pull, adding to the spin as he swept his other hand into a vicious backhand powered by the speed of his whole body. Hinata's good hand flashed out to grab his other arm just as Sasuke let go of it, speeding up her roll as she was effectively dragged across Sasuke's back.

Since she was able to see everywhere around her at once, she blocked Lee's punch with the soles of her feet as they trailed behind her, and Naruto's back fist slammed into his right arm as he threw it up in a guard, his reflexes still incomparably better than Naruto's own, but sickening pain radiated from the impact, which was stronger than he'd expected. He also failed to consider Sasuke's left, which had just let go of Naruto's hand and came under and across Sasuke's chest as he pivoted towards Lee, straightening at the same time. His uppercut slammed into Lee's completely unguarded solar plexus.

It was like hitting steel. Lee absorbed the blow with a grunt and began a counter as Naruto completed his movement, putting himself in between Sasuke and the incoming blows. No kawarimi saved him this time, his clones literally thinking the same way he did. His hands flashed through the movements of the once secret Hyuga family technique, but he was too slow to connect. Of his team, only Hinata was quicker with her hands than Lee, and she was regaining her feet on the other side of Sasuke.

Blow after blow rained down on his face, chest, and stomach, and he might as well be unprotected for all the good his blocks did him. But Naruto was much like Lee in that he could take the pain and keep coming back for more. It also helped that Lee's rage was primarily focused on Naruto. He wouldn't break off now, not with his most hated enemy so close and available. Naruto was forced back against Sasuke, but made no move to evade, only block.

Loops of wire flew forward past Naruto's side, seeking to entangle Lee in their coils. Warily, Lee danced back and avoided them.

Naruto sagged for a moment, supported by Sasuke, his nose split and bleeding again. It only lasted a moment, though, and he lifted his head, wiped blood off his lip, and grinned at his success.

Lee found it just a little disconcerting.

Naruto anchored his feet, held out his hands for Hinata and Sasuke, then with a combination of chakra and sheer raw strength, launched them all at the green clad boy.

Besides inhuman chakra reserves and endurance, Naruto's strength was far beyond that of most of his classmates. While meals at the orphanage had been hit or miss, often missed, Ibiki had taught him the importance of proper nutrition on a growing body. He'd been given plenty to eat and, more importantly, taught what to eat with the kind of careful consideration that might be given to the foal of a legendary racehorse. Also, since he shunned all but the most casual contact with his peers, but was not allowed to simply loaf, he'd thrown himself into more than just his studies. Naruto's body, kept hidden under baggy orange clothes, was thicker and stronger than either of his two teammates, though not at the level of Gai's favorite student.

Naruto used that strength to the fullest, lashing out at Lee with kicks and punches that Lee could not ignore. He could evade, he could block, but he had to counter in some way. And behind Naruto came the true attacks in the form of Hinata, never surprised, never outmaneuvered, always able to turn and strike at him with her hand or a well timed chakra imbued kick. Her moves lacked the raw ferocity of Naruto's, but they were, if anything, even more dangerous if they connected. And then Sasuke would come in, flowing through Naruto and Hinata's movements like it was choreographed. His strikes were not so powerful as Naruto's nor so deadly as Hinata's, but they were harder to evade for all that, and he was already starting to incorporate elements of Lee's own style. When faced with the choice between letting Sasuke hit or one of the other two, Lee had to pick Sasuke every time.

Team Seven whirled and fought as one, coming together back to back to back in a neat triangle when Lee retreated to plan a new move, then blooming like a chrysanthemum to hit Lee with bruising force.

They fought together as if they'd been doing it all their lives, and it was only due to their bloodlimits that they could do it at all. Naruto, as the least gifted, found himself leading from the front, initiating the attacks and taking the hits. Hinata was the guide, seeing how the fight fit together as a whole, then adding her own swift blows to force Lee into a compromised position. And then Sasuke, whose main virtue as a fighter was an incredibly powerful gift of prediction that was his only because he'd been born with a certain genetic quirk, would read their movements and Lee's at the same time and see where he would be most useful, lashing out with stolen taijutsu and copied ninjutsu.

Accidents of birth. Two of the most powerful dojutsu, and one imprisoned demon powering it all. It was completely unbalanced. It was horribly unfair.

It was, Naruto thought, the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen, and he was a part of it.

Accidents of birth.

The universe was an unfair place. Most of the time, whether it was being blamed for the actions of the demon sealed in you, or watching your family get murdered, or just being blamed for not being good enough, it was unfair in ways that made you bitter and cynical and, deep inside where no one could see, sad. Lee didn't stop to complain, but he understood immediately that despite his speed and skill being far superior, he was at the disadvantage, for they were pitting their strengths against his weakness, his own accident of birth.

The fight was just as unfair for the members of Team Seven, but as had happened fighting for their lives in the bear temple, it was unfair in a wholly unexpected, new kind of way. A way that actually gave them the advantage.

They grabbed it and exploited it ruthlessly.

But Lee would not go down. He had been fighting unfair fights all his life.

And he'd been winning.

Lee fought with a fierce pride given to him by the first person to ever see worth in the skinny, lanky boy who wanted to be a ninja but didn't have what everyone said it took. Despite Naruto's opinion that Lee was too much of a nice guy to be the kind of effective killer that a ninja had to be, Lee was no pushover when it came to just pain. He'd experienced it enough himself to know it quite intimately, and while he might regret the necessity of inflicting it on others, regret was something you did after the fact.

Hinata's sudden use of a new ninjutsu, Spit of the Cobra, surprised him, left him open to a kick from Sasuke and a brutal punch from Naruto, and left a seven inch wide, though insignificant, cut across his chest, parting the green material of his jumpsuit and stinging like fire.

So he punched her in the throat.

Even Team Seven, which gave no quarter and expected none in return, was surprised by the sudden viciousness of the strike. That gave him a split second of time, and it was all he needed. Sasuke took the second use of the Konoha Senpu of the day, and seeing it coming didn't mean he could do anything about it as Lee's feet took him in the chest and stomach, knocking him flying. Hinata was still gagging, and he finally got in a good punch to her injured arm, making her gurgles briefly more intense. Clones were probably already starting the seals to kawarimi her away.

That left Naruto and several clones as the only active fighters still in the clearing. If Naruto followed his usual pattern, a clone would substitute with him so that he could regroup with his team. Lee didn't intend to give him the chance.

He darted forward, his feet flashing out with a series of surprisingly light kicks, disrupting the clones and sending Naruto staggering back. He used kicks because his hands were busy tugging at the white cloth bandages wrapped around his hands and wrists.

He knew it was the real Naruto because he hadn't disrupted when he kicked him, so he didn't hold back. He'd practiced his next technique enough that it had become almost instinctive, and the initial chakra gate flooded open. His strength multiplied and he used his chakra grip on the earth to literally pull himself low, faster than he could just fall, and pistoned his leg up into Naruto's stomach, sending him high into the air.

All of the air was driven from Naruto's lungs from the force of the kick, the shock from the impact radiating through his soft organs and causing internal damage that didn't even have time to hurt yet. And suddenly Lee was there, behind him in mid air, flicking his wrists and wrapping the bandages around Naruto's limp body. He grabbed them tightly, and wrapped his legs around Naruto as he threw his body to the side, starting the devastating spin of the Primary Lotus.

Panicked, dozens of watching clones attempted to perform the kawarimi. But the substitution technique, so common, yet used so effectively by Naruto and his team, required a willing target. Naruto was more than willing, even desperate, but he was held so firmly by Lee that the clones couldn't grab him. Every one that tried died in an explosion of chakra as the stress of the failed technique overwhelmed them.

But as he once told Hinata, back in the earliest days of Team Seven when he was still figuring out what the technique could do, the real power behind the shadow clone wasn't that it could throw a punch or cast a ninjutsu.

It was that it could think.

From the moment he realized he could send a clone to interact in his place while he was really doing something else, Naruto had realized the possibilities of being able to think more. It wasn't just little things, like using them to scout. It wasn't even his own bastardized attempt to copy some of the uses of the sharingan or the byakugan, like the way he had dozens of clones watch Anko perform her jutsu, so each clone would catch a slightly different view of the technique and he could put all the memories together as a whole in his mind. It was that he could break a puzzle down into little pieces and assign each piece to a different copy of himself.

When he planned things with Hinata or Sasuke, he needed different ideas and a new way of looking at things. Using clones was no more accurate that thinking by himself. It was, however, faster. And, most important of all, it let him focus on any number of problems at once.

Naruto hadn't made the watching crowd of clones because he wanted an audience or needed them all for his network of as needed kawarimi, though redundancy never hurt. No, while he'd fought, he'd also been thinking. About Tenten and what to do about her running battle through the trees, about the lesson that, at least in theory, was why he'd decided to beat the hell out of Lee, and about how to beat Lee himself. The problem of his Lee driven headfirst plunge towards the ground was a new problem, but it was given priority.

The crowd of clones surged into the field, converging on the spot Lee's spinning drop was rapidly taking Naruto. When they reached the target point, they jumped upwards, aiming towards Lee. More filled in the gap behind them, then leaped in turn, like a splash from a rock hitting a pond, except this splash started before the rock hit, and it leapt up to stop it.

Lee and Naruto plowed through the first clone to try and catch them. And the second, and the third. But there were over sixty clones still remaining in the clearing, and even their combined weight wasn't enough to destroy all of them.

They were caught almost gently. Then, while Lee struggled to get his bandages unwrapped from Naruto, the clones began to hit him. But Lee was still riding high off the power gained by opening the first gate, and he shrugged them off like water, killing most of them in the process. Naruto was dragged away safely by the crowd, and Lee killed them until the last few backed away.

Lee's attempt to end the fight hadn't been successful, but this time, it was the members of Team Seven that came out the worse for wear.

Naruto staggered as he regained his feet with the help of a few clones, Hinata and Sasuke at his side. Sasuke looked ragged and dirty, having been tumbled the most as he ducked and jumped around the others. Hinata wasn't yet tired, but she rubbed at her throat even as a clone tied a hastily whittled tree limb to her newly rebroken arm. She lifted her hand and squeezed it experimentally, ignoring the pain, though her empty black eyes were set in a grim expression.

Naruto's mind reeled as he attempted to process the flood of information from all his destroyed clones. It was disorienting at best, and he'd just been kicked really hard in the gut, so he wasn't at his best. One thing was clear, though, even before the recent exchange.

They were losing, slowly but surely. They were being hurt faster than they were hurting, and Lee seemed to have stamina every bit as limitless as Naruto himself, so they couldn't even turn it into an endurance contest.

If Lee had moved then, he'd have won. But Lee stood on the opposite side of the field, wrestling with his own sudden weakness as a wave of exhaustion hit him. He hid it well, standing proud and tall and giving his three enemies a cool, confident glare.

"Shit." Naruto sighed and reached out his hands for Sasuke and Hinata.

To Lee, it seemed like a plea for support. To Hinata and Sasuke, it was Naruto's way of passing on a silent message in the subtle series of squeezes he made with his hands.

A small smile spread across Naruto's face and he drew himself up straighter, ignoring the pain in his gut as he seemed to take strength from his teammates. Letting go of their hands, he formed a tora seal and made a dozen more clones, which surrounded him and his teammates.

Lee tensed for an attack.

"Carry Hinata back to the village and get her looked at. Bring back a medic," Naruto told them all seriously. "Hurry. This is going to get ugly."

Sasuke nodded gruffly. Hinata hugged him briefly with her good arm, and in the sudden stillness Lee heard her whisper 'good luck' into his ear.

"So," Lee began as the others left. "You're finally going to fight me yourself."

Naruto shook his head, a small, feral grin twisting his lips as he began to walk boldly forward. "Now does that sound like something I would do? Oh, no, Lee. This is something else, something I don't use often. It's sort of my own bloodlimit, at least as far as I'm the only one who can use it."

Lee balanced on the balls of his feet, his eyes darting back and forth. Instinct told him to charge forward and strike Naruto down, but Lee knew Naruto couldn't face him in a straight up fight, so there must be some reason the blond asshole was so confident.

"You see, there's another branch of ninja techniques besides taijutsu and ninjutsu that I also happen to be good at ," Naruto said confidently, and his hands started flashing together into a string of seals.

"Demonic Gifts, False World Illusion!" Naruto howled as he finished the last of the short string of seals.

Lee poised to charge, but he suddenly felt a massive burst of chakra and killing intent that seemed to come from all around him. He raised his fists, looking around wildly, but the sun never so much as dimmed or flickered. A single green leaf drifted from one of the trees and fell to the ground, and that was it. Not even an extra breeze.

Naruto smirked at him. "You are now trapped in my demonic genjutsu. 72 hours compressed into a few seconds, and I control it all! But don't worry, I'm not here to hurt you, Lee. I just want you to see everything in your head that you know to be true, but you just won't acknowledge."

Lee blinked, then smiled. "Ah, but Naruto-kun, there's something you forgot to take into consideration. Just because I cannot use genjutsu does not mean Gai-sensei did not teach me how to break it."

Naruto's eyes widened.

Grinning, Lee's hands came together in a seal and he concentrated on his chakra. "Kai!" he cried.

Naruto winced, then, when nothing happened, relaxed.

Lee looked around wildly, but nothing changed. He tried again. "KAI!"

"Heh, had me worried there a moment," Naruto admitted. "Kakashi-sempai broke this like it was nothing, but I guess you're just not that good."

Lee frowned and raised his fists again. "If I cannot break it, I can still break you."

Naruto laughed. "You think to fight me? You can't fight me, because it's all in your head. I'm not even here. It's just you, and the uncomfortable truths from your darkest subconscious."

Soft sounds came from behind Lee and he spun to see himself, and Gai-sensei, and Neji, and Tenten, and two blonde girls, one with two pigtails and one with a ponytail, and an absolutely devastatingly cute pink haired girl run out of the woods as if they'd sprung from his darkest subconscious.

He twisted his head back around to Naruto and gaped, astonished, as the blond boy winked at him, then seemed to unravel from the inside out, vanishing with the softest of chakra puffs.

"Ah, my youthful students!" Gai called out joyfully as his group spread out once they hit the clearing, running directly for Lee as if they couldn't see him. "Twenty miles is far enough for now. Let us cool down with some calisthenics!"

"Gai-sensei?" Lee asked in a small voice.

Gai ignored him and stopped, immediately beginning to run in place.

"Yes, Gai-sensei! You're the best!" the assembled crowd cheered more or less unanimously, running in place or stretching as the mood hit them.

"Sakura-chan?" Not-Lee asked in a cheerfully concerned voice. "You're looking a bit pink." He paused. "I mean, more so than usual. Is there anything wrong?"

"Oh, Lee," she giggled. "You and your jokes. Nothing is wrong. I guess I might be a bit hot, though."

"Ah, I know just the thing!" Not-Lee cried out, jumping back and flashing through a series of hand seals.

Immediately on completion, a stiff gust of wind picked up and blew across the clearing, causing clothes to flap and leaves to fly off the trees. Everyone had to lean into the wind slightly, but they combed fingers through their limp, sweaty hair and generally seemed to enjoy the break from the heat.

"That's amazing, thank you, Lee-kun," Sakura said shyly as she ran over and gave Not-Lee a quick peck on the cheek.

"You're the best, Lee! I'm gonna marry you one day!" the smaller blonde with the ponytail said brightly.

"No, I'm gonna marry him, Ino!" the buxom blonde girl with pigtails in her hair cried, grabbing the other girl in a headlock.

"I'm so proud of you, Lee-kun," Gai cried, tears literally springing to his eyes. "They said you'd never learn ninjutsu, but you proved them wrong again! My little genius of hard work, and so popular with the youthful ladies!"

"I knew he could do it," Tenten added.

"He's not useless now," Neji admitted grudgingly.

"Tell me, my youthful students!" Gai boomed suddenly, his tears gone. "What is the best way to end a run on a hot day like today?"

"I know!" Not-Lee exclaimed cheerfully. "First, there's the cool down, which we've already done. Then…"

"Then?" the girls all asked as one, hanging on his every word.

"The naked jumping jacks!" Not-Lee said gleefully.

"Naked jumping jacks, yay!" the girls all cried, immediately starting to take each other's clothes off.

Alone, on the other side of the clearing, a single tear rolled down Lee's cheek.

It would soon be joined by others.

xxxxxxxxx

"That should hold him off for a while," Naruto said in a grimly amused tone as he and Sasuke followed Hinata through the woods, disdaining the obvious trail of broken branches, scuff marks, and discarded weapons.

Why follow a wandering trail when you can go directly there, guided by someone who can see forever?

"Are you actually trying to beat Tenten?" Sasuke asked curiously. "Or just giving her a workout?"

Naruto shrugged as he ran. "At first, no. I figured I'd just make a bunch of clones and they'd run around screaming at her until she killed them. Turns out she's pretty good with thrown weapons. I turned up the heat, and she just kept killing me."

"She throws a little differently than we do," Sasuke noted. "More efficiently."

"Have to practice that, then," Naruto replied.

"She's in the next clearing. It's a training area," Hinata announced, slowing her pace. They could all hear the clang of weapons and the cries of Naruto's particularly noisy group of clones.

Together, they leapt into the branches of a largish tree overlooking the training ground.

Tenten spun and danced in the clearing, a wild network of weapons darting back and forth at the jerks of countless wires all held in her hands. Clones died within ten feet of coming in range, no matter how many there were. If they'd had real bodies to leave behind, she'd have stacked them up like cordwood.

She'd been more than a little panicked when she fled the clearing, pursued by the clone army. She was faster, she knew that, but there were just so damned many of them, and she couldn't be sure that one of them wasn't really Hinata in disguise.

It was really disgusting how much Hinata's creepy eye tricks had freaked her out.

But she'd unsealed weapons and used them, and Naruto had 'died' in great numbers. Only, not really. They were just clones. No flesh, no blood, just moving, reacting targets. She'd lost herself in the game, pitting herself against the devious massed tactics Naruto seemed to invent on the fly. Pincher movements, treetop attacks, ground attacks, ambushes and being ambushed and being completely and utterly surrounded. Tenten was in the zone, killing everything that moved, her body flowing faster and more smoothly than she'd ever moved before.

It was everything he'd promised.

She was too busy to reflect on how much that scared her.

She had been herded to and trapped in the clearing, where there was room for hundreds of clones at once. But where there's room for clones, there's room for Tenten, and she'd finally brought out the twin scrolls of her best technique.

They rushed her all at once, they died all at once. They came in twos and threes while others attacked her weapons. They died by the dozens. She was the weapons mistress, and they were just targets. They weren't going to kill her, and she wasn't actually going to kill him. All the joy of a good fight, without the stress.

The sky darkened, and she looked up, just as the ones surrounded her rushed forward.

Orange filled the sky, Narutos raining out of nowhere.

"UZUMAKI CLONE RAIN!" one called.

Grinning, she tugged at her weapons once more. She didn't know how they'd got all the way up there, but it didn't matter.

As clones fell from the sky and swarmed on the ground, they just died faster.

Hidden in the tree, safely out of reach, Naruto watched the spectacle and laughed delightedly.

"Wow, do you see that?! That's awesome!" he cried, sounding extremely pleased with himself as Tenten slaughtered him hundreds of times over.

"She is quite skilled within her range," Hinata agreed thoughtfully.

"Hell yeah she is!" Naruto added emphatically. "Ne, Sasuke! Can you do that?" he asked, gesturing at where Tenten controlled dozens of large kukri, jian, kunai, dao, butterfly swords, kusarigama, and even spears and naginata. Edged and pointy weapons of a dozen martial arts danced at the ends of her wires, each requiring a different set of skills to wield properly, and each moving in concert with the others.

"I can now," Sasuke said modestly, his sharingan spinning.

That just caused Naruto to laugh harder.

"Except you'd need the weapons," Hinata reminded them.

That sobered Naruto up for a moment.

"Yes, except for the weapons," Sasuke admitted.

Naruto watched ruefully as Tenten killed most of the remaining clones, and the ones still active were getting low on chakra to the point of instability. He could make a bunch of clones, and each would have more chakra than most jounin, but when each of those clones made clones, and those clones made more clones, the chakra got split up evenly between the clone and all its children, getting progressively weaker at each level. If he made ten clones and those clones each made ten, the resulting 110 clones would still only have the chakra he'd put into the original ten, and each individual one would be weak and slow compared to himself.

"Well, are we going to take her down?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto shrugged. "Right behind you, Sasuke."

Tenten pulled hard on the wires, using chakra and momentum to keep the weapons flying back and forth, menacing the remaining clones. She tensed as she realized they were trying something new.

Three shuriken leapt from the bushes, looping around in mid air through her weapons, aiming right for her. She tugged ten wires with one finger and brought the wire guided weapons down hard. If Naruto thought he could tangle her wires he had another-

Electricity arced from wire to wire, then up her arm into her body. Her muscles all locked and went rigid for several excruciating seconds as her other weapons fell to the ground, impotent. Sasuke came out of the bushes, wires in his teeth, one hand formed into an unfamiliar half seal, and a kunai in his other hand.

"You're dead," he announced, but didn't throw, instead dropping the technique.

Reeling with shock, she dropped the now dangerous wires and stumbled backwards.

"You're dead," Hinata said quietly from directly behind her.

Tenten darted aside, tensing for a juken strike that never came.

Naruto landed on her from above, driving her face first into the grass as his strong, calloused hands found her wrists and pinned her arms behind her back. He quickly began tying her hands together with loops of thick, strong wire.

"You've just been captured," he said into her ear. "You will be tortured for information, then used as bait for your teammates. They will die. Then you will die." He leaned in closer, letting his breath tickle the fine hairs of her skin. "All because you did not work together."

Tenten struggled, but Naruto's grip was too firm, and he quickly tied up her legs and feet, binding her in such a way that her struggles would just make the wire tighten more. "You're not going to kill anyone!" she protested, twisting her head back and forth, trying to see him.

"This isn't a game, Tenten," he said quietly. "And that's why we're here to show you that." His head snapped up. "Hinata! Show her."

Tenten watched in growing horror as the Hyuga girl pulled up the hem of her jacket, undershirt, and mesh armor, baring her stomach from the waistband of her pants all the way to the black sports bra she wore underneath.

She was covered in pink scars, smooth and slightly puckered in places where the skin hadn't had time to grow supple again. They were similar to the seals Tenten carefully inked on her storage scrolls, being angular in places and curved, almost spiraling in others, but she could see they weren't inked on. Someone had carved seals into Hinata's flesh, and bile rose in her throat at the thought of it.

"I told you they were very bad memories," Hinata repeated softly, letting the cloth fall.

"We were captured," Sasuke told her quietly. "We should have died. We very nearly did."

"Before that mission, we were petty and foolish," Naruto added. "I was the biggest fool of all. I deserved to die, but I didn't because Hinata kept the faith. She came back for us, and she suffered for it. But we lived. We all lived, we broke free, we killed everyone we found, and we came back together."

"Where was your sensei during all of this?" Tenten asked incredulously. "Why didn't he rescue you?"

Naruto looked at her oddly. "And that's your first thought, isn't it? You run to Gai-sensei when you have a problem. Well look around you, Tenten. Gai isn't here. It was just you and Lee, and you know what? Lee was kicking our asses. The fact that you had a crazy powerful guy like Lee on your team and you STILL lost to us means _you are doing it wrong_."

"What did you to do Lee?" she asked in sudden worry.

Naruto smirked. "He's in a little hell of my own creation, but he'll live. Don't worry about Lee."

"You should worry about Lee," she warned. "Lee will come for me. He doesn't need ninjutsu or genjutsu to beat you."

"I figured he'd have something hidden in his sleeve for when things got serious. I can't see Gai-sensei neglecting that. But Tenten, Lee is already lost. Without you or Gai-sensei there to point out the things he can't see, Lee isn't dangerous at all."

"You wait. You think you've seen him angry? You wait," she insisted, glaring at them.

Naruto nodded. "So let's go provoke him some more." He stood and pulled her upright. "You're coming with us."

xxxxxxxxx

Lee watched in quiet desperation as everything he'd ever wanted was paraded in front of him as if he didn't exist.

Not-Lee… he carried himself differently. He moved the same and looked the same, yet there was an air of confidence and superiority about him, just like Neji always had. He'd finally learned ninjutsu from Gai-sensei, and practiced them with the same fervor he'd always practiced taijutsu. Neji was still cold and unfriendly, but he was no longer as dismissive. Even he watched as Not-Lee swept everyone up in his boundless energy and drive. Sparring, jogging around the clearing, teaching the fangirls how to throw a punch and spit fire…

He'd always wanted fangirls, even though Neji didn't seem to like them very much.

The naked jumping jacks were especially nice, with a lot of giggling and bouncing on the part of the girls.

Tears streamed down his face.

Off to one side, Naruto, Sasuke, and Hinata crouched in the branches of a particularly bushy tree, hidden by the leaves as they watched the little play Naruto had concocted with his clones. Several dozen yards behind them, a trio of clones kept watch over Tenten's bound and gagged form.

Naruto leaned forward, putting his hand down on the branch to steady himself as he watched Lee's anguish and confusion.

"_Mind_fuck you no jutsu, Lee," he whispered, then grinned. "I win."

Sasuke glanced at him with an air of amused tolerance. "I think you deserve extra credit for making him cry, but that's just me."

Hinata, who'd been watching patiently, turned to the boys. "Why are all they all naked?

Naruto shook his head, not knowing the answer. Sasuke shrugged as if it didn't matter.

Down below, Lee seemed to be coming to some sort of conclusion as he wrestled with himself.

"Naruto was right," he whispered. He'd always known things would be better if he'd just learn ninjutsu.

Not-Lee said something else cool and youthful, and one of the blondes and the pink haired girl pressed themselves under his arms as he took up the naked nice guy pose.

"I will practice ninjutsu every day until I get it right," he swore to himself as, almost without him noticing, he started walking forward to claim the dream he'd always wanted.

"No, Lee," came Gai's voice from behind him.

He whirled.

Gai, once more dressed in his green suit and vest, walked towards him slowly, reaching out to put a fatherly hand on his shoulder and point at the tableau with his other.

"It is a trap, Lee. Don't be fooled by it."

"Gai-sensei?" he asked hesitantly.

Gai looked at him with serious eyes. "I am the Gai in your heart, Lee. The one who never leaves you, no matter where you are." He gestured at Not-Gai and Not-Lee and all the others. "Lee-kun, what have I told you about ninjutsu?"

Lee hesitated, then nodded. "That I can be a good ninja without it."

"That's right, Lee. And would I lie to you?"

"No, Gai-sensei," Lee answered, his voice growing stronger.

"And would I have you ignore ninjutsu if it wasn't for the best?"

"No, Gai-sensei!" Lee replied, some of the cheer coming back in his voice.

"That's right, Lee. You've doubted me in your secret heart, and that makes me sad," Gai continued, frowning.

Lee looked horrified. "I don't want to make you sad, Gai-sensei!"

"Then believe, Lee. Believe in me and what I am teaching you. I am showing you how to become truly strong." He turned a stern look on the cavorting, naked clones. "Do know what I think about that dream, Lee?"

Lee blinked, then looked carefully at all the naked people, trying not to focus too hard on the not very bouncy but still really cute pink one.

"Uhh… It… needs… more youthful fire…?" he hazarded.

Gai nodded seriously. "Needs more youthful fire. And who needs to give it more youthful fire and burn away that lie?" He looked at Lee expectantly.

Lee looked back in confusion. "Uh, I do, Gai-sensei?"

"You do," he confirmed. "Now, raise your hand and sweep those false dreams away!" he boomed loudly.

Hesitantly, Lee raised his hand and made a kind of weak shooing motion at the illusory people.

All of the clones poofed out of existence.

Lee blinked and looked at his hand in awe.

"Very good, Lee," Gai said proudly.

Back in the tree, Naruto and Sasuke reviewed their new memories. Naruto had made most of the clones, as usual, but he'd gotten Sasuke to make a single contribution, since no one pulled off cool arrogance like Sasuke, and he'd need access to his larger variety of ninjutsu to convince Lee that he was truly some sort of ideal version of himself.

Naruto stopped and stared at Sasuke incredulously. "The naked jumping jacks were your idea?"

Sasuke shrugged again, his sharingan spinning in sympathetic memory.

"Damn it, Sasuke, what have I told you about getting off the script?" Naruto demanded in exasperation.

"Everyone wants to see naked jumping jacks," Sasuke replied reasonably.

Naruto opened his mouth to argue, then kind of slumped. "You suck, Sasuke."

Sasuke smirked.

-_tits_-

Down below, Gai was still talking to Lee.

"Now, Lee, I will strip this illusion from you so that you may fight with your full strength," he explained, reaching into Lee's own equipment pouch and pulling out a kunai.

"My full strength, Gai-sensei?" Lee asked doubtfully.

"Trust in me, Lee," he replied, plucking at the green material over Lee's shoulders with the fingertips of his free hand. "And trust in yourself. You know that killing is not something to be done lightly, as I have taught you. I trust in your ability to control yourself. Unleash your full potential!"

"My full potential," Lee whispered, his eyes distant as Gai inserted the tip of the kunai between his jumpsuit and his neck, then began carefully cutting across his shoulder and down his right arm. He noticed as the material was peeled back, revealing pale skin that had not seen sunlight in many months. "Gai-sensei?" he asked doubtfully.

"I am peeling back the layers of the illusion, Lee, do not worry," Gai assured him.

Nodding, Lee stood perfectly still, absolutely trusting as Gai cut the green jumpsuit off him, the razored edge of the kunai millimeters from his skin. If he'd had murderous intent, Lee would have died in between breaths.

Back in the tree, Sasuke and Hinata both looked at Naruto with respect, and not a little curiosity.

He shrugged. "It's ugly. I've been wondering how I could destroy it since we first met him."

Lee sighed as the cloth was parted down his chest, the slice from Hinata's earlier technique flapping slightly. Gai continued down, carefully cutting only the tough green material, and soon the jumpsuit fell away entirely.

Lee was left standing in his shinobi sandals and a pair of tight, white, knee length long undershorts. Oddly, he was wearing a bright red and black tiger striped thong on top of it.

None of Team Seven was surprised, having already known about Lee's strange dual underwear choice from Hinata's use of the byakugan, but it did give them cause to wonder, yet again, what strange combination of peer pressure and shame had caused him to do it.

Lee stood still, his arms raised to the sky, basking in the sun on his pale, wiry body. The blood stains from the three senbon wounds, the red stripes on his thong, and his blue sandals were the only colors on him.

Gai stood behind him, holding the kunai, Lee's equipment pouch on the ground beside him with the shredded remains of the green suit.

"It's addicting, this power," Naruto confessed quietly to Sasuke and Hinata. "Knowing that, with some effort and research, you can break anyone."

They glanced at each other, but didn't say anything.

"What I… what Kyubi really wants to do is go down there and bite him, to mark him and take his blood. You saw how he moved. What would he be like with my power running through his coils?"

"Gai wouldn't like it," Sasuke reminded him.

Naruto shrugged, his eyes blazing red and his whisker marks darkening as the new surge of demonic chakra disrupted the transformation he'd used to hide his animalistic features. "I find myself less and less concerned with what Gai wants, to be honest."

Hinata put her hand on his shoulder. "Sasuke is right. You shouldn't, not now. Gai has already claimed him. There will be others."

Naruto looked poised to object, but nodded instead. "…you're right. You're absolutely right." He shook his head, regaining his senses, glad that Hinata and Sasuke were there. What would have happened if they weren't didn't even bear thinking about.

"Lee, you have to go and be free from dreams that will only lead you astray," Gai finished, his eyes full of compassion. "Trust in me and trust in your teammates. They need your strength, even if they don't always know it. You're the spine for the whole team. Everything relies on you being there, being strong."

"Yes, Gai-sensei," Lee replied, his eyes tearing up again, but this time in happiness.

"Now go." And with that, the fake Gai turned and walked out of the clearing, leaving Lee standing in his underwear.

Lee spun slowly, taking in the beautiful day. It was probably about five in the evening, but the days were long and the sun was still high in the sky, spreading warmth and light across the land.

Naruto and Sasuke landed in the clearing, carrying Tenten's bound and gagged form between them. She struggled and grunted incoherently.

"Tenten!" Lee said with a gasp.

"What the hell?!" Naruto said in shock. "How did you get free of my illusion?!"

"Never mind that, what are you doing with Tenten?!" Lee demanded, ignoring the question.

"Oh, don't worry, we haven't hurt her," Naruto assured him, putting her down. "Yet."

Sasuke stepped forward slightly to guard them both from Lee if he should charge, and Tenten gasped when Naruto pulled her gag down.

"Lee! Are you okay?"

"Do not worry, Tenten! I am better than ever! I will rescue you, and that is a promise!" He smiled at her, both hands giving the thumbs up, and the sunlight sparkled off his white, even teeth. "More importantly, are you injured?"

"I'm fine, Lee, but I don't like what they're thinking," she said, biting her lip and looking up at Naruto.

Naruto grinned at her madly. "Good instincts." He looked back up at Lee, still in the nice guy pose. "Well, Lee, I've come to a decision. You're just not cut out to be a ninja. Gai knows it, but he's too nice to tell you. So I'm going to do him a favor. I'm going to make you quit right now."

Lee frowned and shook his head sharply. "I will never quit! Gai-sensei believes in me, and he's taught me to believe in me, and Gai-sensei is never wrong!"

Naruto laughed. "Yeah, whatever, Lee. You'll quit, because you're too much of a nice guy to be a real ninja. Sometimes a real ninja has to watch a teammate be tortured or killed right in front of them, and they can't do anything about it. Could you do that, Lee?"

Lee frowned.

"It's an important question, Lee," Naruto said seriously, his eyes hard, "because you're about to find out what that's like." He made several seals, then put his hand on Tenten's head.

"AaaaaAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" she shrieked, her voice rising in a fever pitch of excruciating pain as she spasmed in her bonds.

"Tenten!" Lee screamed in shock, taking three steps forward, then stopping as Naruto held the blade of his wakizashi to her throat.

"Ah ah ahh," Naruto admonished as Tenten's shrieks faded and she began sobbing quietly. "You may be fast, Lee, but you're not fast enough to stop me before I slice her pretty throat. Besides, it's just pain." He fixed Lee with a cold look. "It's more pain than she's ever experienced before in her life. It's knives slicing you in your most intimate places, it's fire being spilled over bare nerves, its acid dripping its way into your heart. It hurts, Lee. It can drive people insane. But it won't kill her." He glared. "Quit, Lee! Admit you're not cut out to be a ninja and quit!"

"I can't quit! It's my dream," Lee cried back.

Naruto jerked his hand slightly on Tenten's forehead and she erupted into fresh screams, tears streaming from her eyes, snot streaming from her nose. She blubbered about fire and knives and centipedes for several long moments as Naruto held Lee's gaze.

Lee twitched madly with the urge to run forward and save her, but he couldn't. Not without killing her in the process.

Naruto cut the technique again, and this time, instead of going silent, Tenten started to wail like a lost child.

Naruto's tone turned soft and compassionate. "It's hard, Lee. Just quit. You can spare her all this pain if you'll just give up and go home. I'll let her go, she'll get over it, everything will be fine."

Lee clenched his fists in frustration.

"It's hard being a ninja, Lee. It's too hard. No one in their right mind would want to do it. It's all hard work and pain for no real reason, no reason at all." He looked down at Tenten and stroked her cheek softly.

She squeaked and flinched away from his hand.

He looked back up at Lee, and his eyes hardened again. "But I guess you don't care about her after all, do you? You ignored her fight while you were fighting Sasuke, right? She's not as important as your fights, your goals. So I guess you won't mind if I do this."

His hand found her forehead despite how she twisted and squirmed, and Lee cried out in sympathetic pain as Tenten shrieked until she had no more breath left to scream, blood spraying into the air and flecking her lips as she bit her own tongue in agony.

Finally, after many agonizing moments, Naruto stopped, and Tenten was left gasping, too weak to even squirm any more. He glared at Lee once more.

"Choose."

Tears streamed down Lee's face, all but blinding him, and he dashed at them with his bandaged hands.

Being a ninja was all he'd ever wanted, all he'd ever dreamed, all he'd ever worked for. And he'd worked hard, worked harder than anyone. Gai said so, and Gai never lied. Didn't he deserve to get his wish?

Didn't he?

But his dream was killing Tenten, and she was his friend and teammate. He'd do anything for her. He'd die for her if that was what it took.

But giving up his dream?

That was something he didn't know if he could do.

He looked up, and through his blurry tears, he thought he saw Gai behind Naruto.

He thought he saw Gai give him the thumbs up.

Lee wiped at his eyes and looked again, but Gai wasn't there. But that was okay. He knew that Gai was in his heart. He could hear him. His sensei was telling him how he could save Tenten and his dream, too.

He looked back at Naruto, still hovering over Tenten with that insufferable grin, as if he wasn't torturing Tenten, and Lee too.

"I'm going to hurt you," Lee promised him.

"Before or after you quit being a ninja?" Naruto asked, clearly dismissing the threat.

"I am not going to quit being a ninja," Lee replied seriously. "Because a good ninja could save Tenten, and I am a good ninja! First gate, OPEN!"

For the second time that day, he felt his strength increase as he found the mental block in his mind that corresponded to the first chakra gate and blew it open with sheer force of will. Dimly, he was aware of Sasuke biting his thumb and forming seals.

"Second gate, OPEN!"

The Heal chakra gate burst open like a dam, and he felt his weariness fall away like the green jumpsuit he'd discarded. Sasuke's eyes seemed different now, with flecks of white in their dark depths. Naruto also seemed to be changing, red chakra enveloping him like a shroud.

"Third gate, OPEN!"

The Life gate in his throat flew open, and he felt his eyes grow sharper, his hearing more acute, his reflexes more accurate, and his thinking faster. His skin flushed bright red as his heart rate quadrupled, and his feet crunched into the ground as he focused more chakra in his feet, grabbing the ground so he'd be ready for instant movement. Sasuke seemed to be crying? No, he was bleeding, blood falling down his cheeks in thick, hot rivulets.

"Fourth gate, OPEN!" Lee bellowed, his voice deeper with his new power.

The gate of Harm blew open like a loose shutter before his sudden will, and his lungs began pumping like great bellows, mirroring his increased heart rate. Air whooshed in and out with great speed, giving him a heightened sense of focus and drive. He felt strong.

"Fifth gate, OPEN!" he roared.

The Limit gate, the farthest he'd ever been able to go in practice, slammed wide under his titanic will, and chakra, heavy, dark blue chakra, erupted within him like an explosion, leaping from his skin and hovering over him as an aura of pure power.

And Lee felt it. He could go farther. The next gate, the gate he'd never found before, was there.

"Sixth gate, OPEN!" he thundered with the force of a hundred shouts, and even the leaves on the trees surrounding the clearing blew back under his power.

The View gate opened deep in the pit of his belly, filling him with warmth and strength. He felt more powerful than he'd ever been before, his body literally thrumming with its own secret energies. Somehow, he knew he'd need every bit of it.

But he wouldn't use it to kill. Gai trusted in him, otherwise he'd have never taught him the incredible secret of opening the eight chakra gates.

Red demonic chakra wrapped itself around Naruto like a living thing, twisting and lashing out at the air as it gave him the outline of a human sized fox. A single tail of pure power flicked back and forth, waiting for Lee's attack. He jabbed his wakizashi down into the dirt beside Tenten's head and snarled defiance.

Sasuke's white tomoe spun wildly, noting how Lee's chakra poured more from some tenketsu than others, how his muscles expanded with blood and tension, and how his chest fluttered like a butterfly with the speed of his breathing. He dearly wanted to know what and how Lee had done to unlock such power, but the reading abilities of his kyubi enhanced sharingan were no better than the unenhanced. Blood poured from his eyes as the surge in power popped the tiny capillaries in his eyeballs, but it mattered little. He felt stronger, faster, and better rested than he had even at the beginning of the fight.

His sharingan was good enough to capture Lee's movement, but he still wasn't fast enough to do anything about it as Lee suddenly appeared in front of him and bonked him on the head with one balled up fist. He'd have to remember the fight later if he wanted to think about it.

Sasuke hit the ground like a boneless sack of shit.

And Lee was flying at Naruto.

Lee had been gentle, almost absurdly so, given how his strength was exponentially increased from before. He'd hit Sasuke just hard enough to rattle his brain inside his skull and put him out like a light. Sasuke had honored him with his respect.

He hit Naruto like a sledge hammer, slamming into the blond's body, freaky red chakra and all.

Naruto screamed in sudden shock and pain as he was knocked back, but he was now powered not just by his own body, but by the blood sacrifices of his two closest friends. He twisted in mid air, and the red chakra arm of his kyubi form flew out and slammed into the earth, dragging him back to the ground.

His other swiped at Lee, five chakra claws three feet long raking at Lee's red body.

Lee flowed around it like water, coming within a hair's breadth of being gutted by the incredibly fast chakra, but evading just the same. He jumped forward and slammed his foot into Naruto's side, through the hazy red shell. Then, as the impact threatened to twist him around, he swung his other leg from the other side, then again, and again, alternating sides and bouncing Naruto back and forth between his feet as he fell slowly through the air. Each kick was slightly higher on Naruto, until finally he brought his right foot up, then down on Naruto's head, flipping himself backwards. He landed in a crouch, then sprang forward again, driving all the power of his body behind a powerful right punch that caught Naruto squarely in the face.

Naruto flew back once more.

The Kyubi's heavy red chakra flared in anger and he caught himself again, and then it was Lee's turn to defend. Naruto exploded from the ground at nearly the same speed of Lee, far faster than he'd been before, and much faster than even Lee before he'd opened the gates. He ran across the ground on all fours, his tail of chakra streaming behind him. Lee whirled and spun, sprinting with all of his new speed to evade.

One of the arms of chakra suddenly extended from his body, impossibly long, and grabbed one of Lee's legs, stopping him in his tracks. It squeezed painfully tight as it drew back, either to bring him closer or slam him into the ground. Lee kicked sharply at the solid chakra with his free foot as he pulled at the other, and just as the other hand came around to rip into him he popped free, his leg bruised and scraped but still working fine.

Lee didn't have time to wonder how Naruto might be capable of such feats. He simply concentrated on ducking and weaving as he was chased briefly around the clearing, dodging the incredibly quick chakra arms that seemed intent on rending him limb from limb.

He darted back as one hand clawed at him again, the tips of Naruto's claws coming within inches of him, then aside as the other hand erupted from the ground beneath him, seeking to grab his legs once more. He saw an opening.

Naruto frantically pulled in his chakra arms, punching forward with his real arms in desperation as Lee raced towards him.

Lee simply dropped on his back and slid across the grass, directly under the punch. Naruto had just enough time to see the determination in Lee's eyes before his feet shot up into his stomach.

For the second time that day Naruto found himself flying high into the sky, powered by Lee's incredible kicks, but this time he had the resilience of the kyubi chakra in him. He whirled, expecting Lee to come from below him like before.

The first time, however, Lee had used the Primary Lotus, the first technique Gai had taught him that took advantage of the extra strength given by opening a chakra gate. This time he used the Secondary or Reverse Lotus.

The first punch caught him in the center of the back, and Naruto cried out in pain, unable to respond. Lee seemed to hover over him, punching him over and over again with the incredible speed and power given him by the five open gates.

Then as Naruto started to fall, Lee spun in the air, lashing out with one arm and one foot to hammer into Naruto and send him rocketing to the ground like a meteor.

He hit with a mighty thud, sinking partially into the ground with the force of the impact.

Lee landed beside him with deceptive lightness of foot, and quickly strode over and lifted him by the front of his shirt. Naruto's eyes were dazed and unfocused, and there was a trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth, but he was still breathing. Most people would have died from the titanic force Lee had brought to bear on him, and even with the incredible strength granted by the combination of the his friends life force and Kyubi's own demonic chakra, Naruto was hurting. Lee shook him like a hound might shake a fox, then turned and threw him beside Tenten.

He stalked over on stiff legs, his blood still boiling even as he let the gates close. He'd never been so angry in his entire life, and even the sudden wave of exhaustion and pain from severely overtaxed muscles couldn't stop him now. He'd pay the price for his power later.

Right now, Naruto needed to pay for his sins. No one hurt Lee's teammates like he'd done to Tenten.

He turned Naruto onto his back, then sat across his chest, his left fist balled in the collar of Naruto's orange jacket.

"For what he has done to you, Tenten, I will punch him in the face five hundred times!" Lee swore. "And if I cannot punch him in the face five hundred times, I will kick him in the stomach one thousand times!"

His right fist drew back, then slammed forward.

"One!"

Naruto's nose shattered under the force of the punch, and his already dazed grasp on consciousness wavered. Lee's fist flew back, then forth again, like a metronome, his voice loud and angry as he counted off the punches. He reached seven before Tenten's voice snapped him out of it.

"Lee!" she cried. "Stop that and untie me, please!"

His head snapped up. "Tenten! I am sorry, I forgot myself!" He hurried to her side and began pulling at the wires, quickly removing all of her bonds as she moaned in pain. "I am so sorry, Tenten. Are you hurt terribly?" he asked considerately, helping her sit up.

"Just… just help me up," Tenten gasped, reaching out and grabbing his bare forearm. She attempted to rise, pulling on his arm, but suddenly her breath hitched and she squeezed hard, digging her fingernails into his skin.

Lee considerately made no effort to pull away, tensing his muscles instead as he gave her a steady arm for support.

"Thanks… Lee," she said, her voice ragged, "for not leaving me. You're a good guy."

"I will always be there for you, Tenten," he replied, just before his eyes rolled up in his head and he collapsed to the ground.

Hinata sat up straighter, dismissing the disguise transformation and carefully wiping the poison out from under her fingernails. She looked up at the tree branch where two Naruto clones held the real Tenten, still bound and gagged, up where she could watch.

It was amusing, she thought, since they had just jumped into the tree with their captive after Naruto had his the ground. If Lee had continued his revenge punches much longer, he might have knocked Naruto out, and then his clones would have dispelled, leaving Tenten to fall helplessly, and it would have been Lee's fault.

She smiled, imagining Lee's reaction if he'd found out his own actions had been what actually got his teammate hurt. Tenten could learn a thing or two from the way Naruto thought ahead.

"He needs your leadership if he's going to be truly powerful," Hinata told her. "But not bad. Not bad at all." Actually, to her void-like eyes, the sight of Lee's gates opening and the candle of his life force flaring up like a bonfire was absolutely gorgeous, alike and unlike the way Naruto's power exploded within his own body.

She knelt by Naruto's side and carefully straightened his nose with her good hand.

"Nnng, thrrks," he mumbled thickly, his lips split and numb and his eyes threatening to swell shut. The life sacrifice chakra still surged wildly through him, healing him from within, but it had a lot of work to do. Despite the power of the kyubi, Lee had pounded the shit out of him. More clones were already moving out of the bushes to check Sasuke, but she already knew he was alive, just unconscious. Being able to see heartbeats and chakra flow helped with the worry she felt when her teammates fought impossible to defeat monsters sometimes.

The clones jumped down from the trees, bringing Tenten, whose eyes were dark with worry for her fallen teammate, and a little bit fearful for herself. They didn't remove her gag.

"Don't worry, we're done here," Hinata assured her, having fallen into her role as final protector of the team. "He's just sleeping. I'm not going to hurt either of you." She shrugged wryly. "The way I see it, you'll either learn from this, as we did, or you won't, and one day it'll get you killed. Either way, we did all we could. I hope Gai recognizes that."

She signaled the clones, one of which immediately started working on Tenten's bonds, but stopped before it had completely untied her. Hinata pulled out a small medicine container, which she sat on Lee's bare chest.

"The antidote, for when you finally get free. Just smear some in his cuts." She looked Tenten over carefully, then shrugged again. "Shouldn't take you more than fifteen minutes, half an hour tops, and by then we'll be long gone."

Tenten watched in silent astonishment as more clones picked up Sasuke and Naruto, and together they followed Hinata.

Team Seven left the training ground, every bit as in control of the situation as they'd been when they entered it, looking for a fight.

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE

Wind ruffled the leaves around her. At least she hoped it was wind, the alternative was a little scary. But, at least it had cooled off when the sun went down and the stars came out.

Tenten still sweated fiercely as she struggled with her bonds, trying to get that first damned loop over her knuckles so she could unravel the rest of the rig. Beside her, Lee snored peacefully.

"That bitch lied to me," Tenten grumbled to herself. "Thirty minutes my ass."

x

x


	21. Memories Lie: twelve

Hinata still had her byakugan permanently active, and although she mostly used it to watch Tenten's progress with her bonds as Hinata and her team walked towards Konoha and the hospital for the second time that day, she still looked ahead as a simple matter of course.

Therefore, she was surprised by his presence long before she actually stood in front of him.

"Hinata," he said, his tone unreadable.

"Father," she replied respectfully, bowing to him, acutely aware of how she must look, ragged and bloodied, with a broken arm and covered in dirt. Nothing at all like the perfect Hyuga princess she knew he wanted.

Hiashi's face was neutral, showing neither pleasure nor disappointment. "I was watching your fight. When you finish getting that taken care of, we must speak."

"Yes, Father."

What more could she say?

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xxxxxxxxx

Neji woke when they entered his hospital room, opening his eyes and attempting to sit up before the stabbing pain in his belly made him abandon that idea. He hissed in sudden, startled pain as he turned to see Hinata walking his way, Naruto and Sasuke remaining on either side of the door, almost like guards.

"Hinata-sama," he gasped, noting the fresh white cast on her arm.

She nodded, then slid her hitai-ate up to her forehead, revealing her empty black eyes. "Neji. I have come for your answer. Will you stand by me as I take control of our family?"

He attempted to sit up again, this time more slowly, pushing himself upright with his hands. "Hinata-sama…" he repeated himself dumbly, trying to buy time to think as he stared at those dark sockets. "What happened to your eyes?" he asked, horrified.

"I made a choice," she replied without hesitation. "I could either remain pathetic and weak and alone, or I could give my pledge and be supported in turn."

Neji blinked. "What?" he asked, sounding kind of desperate. He didn't know what to make of her now. Her face was still, expressionless, all her emotions carefully masked. While a Hyuga would normally have no trouble reading expressions anyway, Hinata's eyes were featureless, with nothing in their inky void to indicate where she was looking or even if she'd turned them to look at something else. It screwed up his ability to predict her and it made him incredibly uncomfortable.

"I will explain if you accept," she countered, then her voice turned softer, more compassionate. "You are a sad, angry man, Cousin. I know how much you resent me. I know how much you hate my sister, and my father. I even know why." She sighed. "I cannot make the past go away, but I can offer you a stake in the future."

"I suppose the future is already written," he replied, sounding defeated. "You will lead our clan as you were destined to."

"We write the future with our every action, Neji. Only the past is unchangeable. What is it that you want?" Her eyes bored into him.

He swallowed, staring back at her. White eyes meeting black.

"I want to be free," he said slowly.

She looked down at him, looming over him from his bedside, her face unreadable. Finally, she spoke. "Free from what?"

He opened his mouth, and found that his answer stuck in his throat. He didn't say anything.

Hinata shook her head slowly. "You don't even know, do you?"

Neji just stared back helplessly. This was not how he'd imagined his day going.

Hinata sighed. "Fine. Be my support in the family, and when I am Head I will allow you to live outside our district. I will support your marriage to whomever you please, clanless, civilian, even Tenten if she'll have you. I won't even care if you marry Lee. I will never use the seal against you, and I have already promised to change how we use it. I will give you every freedom it is in my power to give. And when you figure out what it is that you really, truly want, I'll help you get that as well."

His gaze turned cold. "And why would you offer me such things? Does the main family bargain with a lowly branch cousin now?"

Hinata leaned in close. "If you choose to see it that way," she replied softly. "But I would have given you those things anyway." She reached out slowly, careful to appear nonthreatening, and touched his bandaged forehead gently. "Why? Because you are my cousin… my brother. Our fathers were identical in almost every way, yet we are so far apart. That isn't right. All I ever wanted when we were growing up was for you to forgive me."

Memories flooded him, of thousands of tiny little things that he would do to show his contempt for her as a person, as a wannabe ninja, and as a Hyuga. He thought of the emptiness he felt whenever he saw her and realized that she had been crying. Not satisfaction, not regret. Just… nothing. And he thought of the anger that surged through him when he realized she was stronger than she'd appeared.

"I…" He licked his lips. "I don't know that I can ever forgive you," he said honestly. "But I can try," he added suddenly, feeling compelled to not let his cousin down. "Do you hate me?" he asked in turn.

She tilted her head slightly, deliberately, considerately giving him a visual clue that she was thinking about the question.

"I don't know, I could," she replied. "I probably should. I might have, for a little while. But I don't think I will. I can't afford it." She shook her head. "Neji, you are the best of all of us. More than Hanabi, certainly more than I, you are the perfect Hyuga. You're more talented, more refined, smarter, faster, and stronger than I will ever be able to match. I realize that now. In truth, you should have been heir. It would make sense in almost every way. Our clan would prosper under your leadership."

He didn't know whether to be flattered that she acknowledged something he'd always secretly thought, or worried that she'd realized it.

She pressed on. "Yes, we would prosper under you. But under me…" She smiled grimly.

"We will conquer."

His eyes widened.

"I will expand our influence. Investments that will bring us wealth. Alliances that will bring us security. Secrets that will bring us power." She paused and turned, making a show of looking at Naruto. "The world is changing even as we speak, Neji," she continued, turning back to him. "I have been given eyes to see it, ears to hear it, and a voice to speak it."

"Are you crazy?"

She laughed softly. "I was told to expect disbelief. Fortunately, Naruto is here to offer you proof."

Naruto walked forward and smiled down at Neji, showing a lot of inhumanly sharp, white teeth. "You wonder what we're talking about with all these cryptic words. It's simple, really. The Fourth didn't kill the Kyubi no Kitsune. He sealed him into a baby. A little, blond headed baby." He stroked the whisker marks on his cheeks with one sharp fingernail, then reached lower. "You aren't the only one to bear a seal, Neji."

Neji watched in shock as Naruto pulled open his jacket, then pulled up the hem of his shirt and pushed down slightly on the waistband of his pants, revealing his stomach, and showing him the strange set of markings centered on his belly button.

It was a circle about three and a half inches across made of a series of sharp black characters, with more spidery characters radiating from it. However, his attention was most drawn to the central character. It was a five pointed star, a pentagram, with what appeared to be a tongue of flame that emerged from his navel.

"You speak of destiny as if you know what it means," Naruto said in a slightly amused tone of voice. "You want to know what's destined? I'll tell you what the fox has been whispering in my ears while I sleep." Naruto recovered the seal on his stomach. "It tells me that the tailed gods are waking up once more. Beings of legend, asleep for thousands of years, and they're waking up. Not all at once, not immediately, but inevitably. No one can stop them. Not you, not me, not even the Fourth Hokage. After winter comes spring, and after spring summer. That is destiny for you, Neji. I am the avatar of the most powerful of all the tailed gods, and I offer you a place in the new world. A place beside Hinata, beside Sasuke, and I.

"I like Konoha. It's my home, where I was born and raised. But threats loom all around us as the other tailed ones wake. We've already fought agents of the seven tailed bear." His teeth clicked together in a snap, as if he was biting one of them. "We killed them. We killed all of them who trespassed in my land." He sounded tremendously satisfied. "But there will be more, Neji. More enemies within and without. They will come whether you stand by me or stand against me. That, too, is destiny."

Neji didn't have his byakugan activated, but he could actually see the chakra wrapping around Naruto, forming a shroud that suggested rather than resembled that of a fox.

"The Kyubi nearly destroyed Konoha," he protested weakly.

"Forget what little you know about the Kyubi, the truth is far stranger," Naruto replied. "Still, know this… Agree to the bargain, Neji, and you will receive all the freedom any of us can possibly hope to achieve." His eyes flickered with heavy red chakra. "The freedom to choose, Neji. That's the only part of this that isn't destined. You can choose to be with us, or against us. That is freedom."

Neji shook his head in disbelief. "I don't believe you. You just want something out of me."

Naruto shrugged. "A bargain is a bargain, right? If I don't deliver, you don't have to deliver." He smiled a secretive, fox's grin. "This isn't some handshake deal, Neji. This is blood and power, blood _for_ power, and it will give you things you never thought possible. There is a price, of course. There is always a price, but I don't think it's too much to pay. Just ask Sasuke. Ask Hinata."

He glanced at Sasuke, saw the trickle of blood weeping from his eyes, which he occasionally dabbed at with a black cloth. The Uchiha nodded. Looked at Hinata, and realized how she'd gotten her black eyes.

"It's worth it, Neji," she answered to his unspoken question. "I'm never alone now. Never helpless. To you, of all people, I would not ask Naruto to offer this if it was not fair."

He remained silent, looking from one to the other in turn. His cousin, sweet, shy and weak, now turned into someone he didn't know at all. The Uchiha, proud last member of a once noble clan, but who followed Naruto's lead without hesitation. And Naruto, enigmatic, grinning blond who claimed to have a demon sealed inside of him.

"Do it, Brother," she said softly. "Join me. Join _us_ as we make our place in the new world. I think you'll be surprised at how much happiness you'll find." She smiled, her eyes crinkling up, and for the first time since she walked in the door, she seemed alive, and she took his hands, the hands he'd tried to kill her with only hours earlier, in her own.

She was the future leader of his clan. Perhaps, if Naruto was right, it wasn't his destiny, but it was his duty to follow her.

Never let it be said that Neji shirked in his duty.

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

"That went well," Sasuke noted.

Naruto nodded, his chakra flaring and twisting like a bored cat. He hadn't been sure exactly what to do, but the little whisper in the back of his mind had taken over when he let it, and now Neji sported a bite mark on his shoulder that curiously did not look like human teeth. He wondered if it would fade as Hinata's and Sasuke's had.

Hinata said nothing, her face expressionless behind the blindfold of her hitai-ate.

The three of them sat on a wall running along one of the roads just out of sight of the hospital. Some of Naruto's clones were disguised and hidden here and there, watching for Tenten and Lee's return. They were running late, but Hinata had used her byakugan to find them limping wearily towards the hospital, with Lee all but being carried by Tenten. They'd get there soon enough.

The sun was going down, and all across Konoha the day job people were leaving work, often to go and buy things from the evening job people. The occasional medic or patient passed them, usually in small groups.

"I thought his eyes would turn black, but I guess it's different for everyone. And at least his veins didn't pop." Sasuke had been thinking about the power Naruto's chakra had given him, but where Hinata's eyes now did new and unusual things, he wasn't sure if what he had was the normal sharingan or an enhanced version. Just what did the white tomoe mean?

"My choushijiro didn't burst until I looked at the shoggoth," Hinata replied quietly. "Provided he doesn't stare at otherworldly monsters, he should be fine." Though she seemed focused inward, she actually watched Naruto closely, hiding her worry.

"I have a better idea of how much power a human can handle," Naruto added, his voice deep and growling. "Didn't want to, as you said, make him go pop." He smiled at the idea, looking at his hand as he held it up and flexed it, watching not only the play of corded muscles and the fingernails sharpened into claws, but how the heavy, red chakra outlining his hand followed his movements. "Hokage-sama warned that I could hurt you by giving too much of my chakra, that our summoning technique is wrong, but the more you do it, the more I wonder."

They looked at him.

"I don't think it's really the technique doing anything," he explained. "It feels more like all we have to do is ask, and it happens." Suddenly he seemed to draw in on himself, the chakra subsiding a little. "That's a little worrying, actually. I need to see if I can figure out anything about it. When Hokage-sama calls for me, I wonder if I should tell him about it." He shook his head.

"You should tell someone," Hinata offered. "Naruto… you're acting different. I think you've called up too much of your power."

"Hmmm," he replied. It came out as a growl.

"She's right," Sasuke added unexpectedly. "Your monster is showing."

Naruto twitched and froze, unmoving, while his chakra flared even more, lashing about angrily. It would have been visible even to people not chakra sensitive, and to his teammates it was as easy to see as a physical object.

However, neither of them flinched or otherwise backed away.

"You could be a little more circumspect, Sasuke-kun," Hinata said reproachfully.

Sasuke shrugged. "Why mince words? It's not like it bothers me, but it's the kind of thing he should hide."

Naruto shivered, realizing how far he'd gone, then nodded. "You're both right. I've got to do something about this before it gets out of hand." He made ten clones of himself, all of them with the same animalistic features he currently had. They immediately scattered, disguising themselves as they went. He finished it up by using another transformation on himself, effectively disguising himself as himself.

He blinked blue eyes and put his arm around Hinata's shoulders. "Wow. Even just pretending helps more than you'd think. Before, it was like I was swimming in power, and I kept thinking about fighting and sex and blood." His voice was no longer deep and growling, and was back to the higher pitch that was his normal tone.

Sasuke shrugged. "Sounds like my usual dreams."

Hinata quirked her lips slightly. "Mine, too."

Naruto stopped, took a breath, looked at them both, then chuckled slightly for a moment. When he'd stopped, he took a shaky breath and nodded at them both. "…thanks."

Sasuke shrugged as if it didn't matter, but inside he was well aware that they'd just dodged a kunai, even if he wasn't exactly sure how. There was something being offered there, but it would cost something he wasn't sure he wanted to pay.

Not now. Not when he'd finally discovered what it was like to not be alone anymore.

The worrying thing was, he was absolutely sure it would be offered once again.

"So…" Naruto began hesitantly, "anyway, now… Hinata, do you want to go see your father now, or later?"

Hinata stiffened slightly under his arm, surprised by the sudden change in topic. That was something she had to think about.

Naruto and Sasuke watched her in silence, blinking now and then, not moving even when a late evening dragonfly buzzed between them, on the way to some nighttime resting place. Ninjas were trained to wait unmoving, and even with his incredible energy level, Naruto found it easy to sit still. Even the playful fox knew how to wait and watch for prey.

Hinata shrugged slightly and scratched under her cast. Naruto had faked most of his injuries, at least until Lee sat on his chest and started punching his face, and the ones he'd gotten had largely healed by the time they got to the hospital. Sasuke had suffered little more than some bruises and a headache, and even that was fading. Only the injury to her arm, rebroken by a well placed punch, would linger.

All in all, she was fairly pleased with her performance that day. She'd beaten Neji, and while it was really more of a tie, she'd been the one to get up first. Then she'd fought and outmaneuvered Tenten, who was dangerous at range but no match for a Hyuga in close combat. And while there was no way she could have beaten Lee in a straight fight, especially with a broken arm, her Naruto given disguise and acting skills had made her the weapon that finally took him down without injury.

But… how would her father see it? She was strong, she was fast, she was skilled, all in ways far, far beyond what she'd been in the Academy. She knew that. But, again, the plan was to surprise him with it, and use that surprise to keep him off balance and win concessions.

The news that she hadn't been successful in fooling her father's eyes was not a pleasant surprise.

Actually, it was downright frightening.

Naruto understood all that, and read her doubt and fear without her having to say a word.

"Hey, we don't know how long he's known, just that he knows, right? He may have just found out today, somehow, while he watched the fight. Heard about Neji in the hospital, decided to watch you?" Naruto shrugged. "I mean, keeping secrets from you Hyuga is basically impossible, and we always knew that if he decided to watch us there was no way we'd ever be able to hide from him, or even know he was watching."

"It wasn't according to plan, though, right?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto sighed. "Well, that's just it. No, preferably, he wouldn't have noticed anything and the surprise would have been complete. But, there's an old saying that all too many people seem to forget these days.

"_No plan survives contact with the enemy._"

Sasuke blinked.

Naruto shrugged. "All I'm saying is, no matter how clever the plan is, unless you can actually see the future, you're not going to make a plan that works perfectly at every single little stage. Maybe if your opponent was freaking stupid and you knew everything about them, but let's face it, that's unrealistic. We're pretty smart, right? But we're going up against some people that are pretty smart in their own right. The only real thing you can do is make educated guesses, using all the information you can get, then adjust your plan accordingly. The best planners are the ones that change things on the fly, adjusting to the new situation to make sure you get an acceptable result. And what I'm saying here is, Hinata is right to be worried, because this matters, but she shouldn't be too worried, because there's still an excellent chance for a good outcome."

"I am simply… surprised, that is all," Hinata admitted. "I did not expect my father to show interest in me to the point he would spy on me."

"He caught Naruto leaving your room last night," Sasuke pointed out with some amusement. "Maybe that got his attention."

Naruto made a face. "Ugh, don't remind me. I mean, one minute you're on top of the world, disguised as a rock, and flying through the air out of your girlfriend's bedroom-"

Hinata smiled at being called his girlfriend.

"-and the next moment her father snatches you out of the air like you're a small and annoying fly. It's enough to make you rethink a few choices, let me tell you." Naruto shook his head ruefully.

Sasuke smirked. "Hn. Could have been worse."

Naruto blinked, as if Sasuke had just said something tremendously profound.

"You know what? You're right," he said in a wondering tone. "It could have been worse. It actually _should_ have been worse." He paused, letting them think on that.

Hiashi, for all he seemed stern to the point of absurdity, hadn't freaked out when Naruto, the freak demon outcast, entered his home. He'd delivered a fairly stern warning about house rules, and then had his minions beat the living crap out of Naruto, but even to Naruto, it had seemed almost… jocular. Even when he and Sasuke had went to pick her up several days ago, he'd acted positively frosty when he'd asked them what they wanted. Then, when he found out they were there to get Hinata, he'd essentially said, 'okay' and walked away.

Could it be?

Did he actually know what was going on… and approve?

It would make sense in some ways. He'd always wanted Hinata to get strong, and it was Naruto, and Sasuke, who'd really helped her overcome her weakness.

Hinata's lips formed a small, hopeful, and slightly incredulous smile. She turned to Naruto.

He put an arm around her shoulders. "Hey, it makes sense. I can't account for him not tearing my spleen out through my nose in any other way."

"Hn," Sasuke said in a way that seriously implied internal chuckling at the idea that Naruto and Hinata had spent so much time trying to keep things secret from her father, who apparently knew anyway.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up," Naruto grumbled. "Do you understand what we're up against? It's the ENTIRE HYUGA CLAN. They can like, see through walls and shit from across Konoha. If Hiashi wants to know something, he's going to find it out."

"Except for some of the sealed buildings," Hinata reminded them. "Like the Hokage tower." There were some buildings in Konoha, mostly government buildings like the Hokage tower or various ANBU division headquarters, as well as council members and clan leaders' homes that were sealed in the same way as Hinata's new forehead protector, so that a Hyuga could not look through them. It had the benefit of keeping prying white eyes out, but also made the building stand out in Konoha like a beacon.

"But can't you see through those?" Sasuke asked. "With that mangekyo byakugan of yours?"

She nodded. "That's true, I only found out today. We'll have to investigate. Carefully, of course."

"Of course."

"But… mangekyo?" she asked, looking at him.

"Remember, I told you about my brother, Itachi? And the Tsukkiyomi technique?"

They nodded. It had been in their first day together out of the hospital that they had started telling each other bits of their past.

"The mangekyo is the final stage of our eyes, and only a few Uchiha have ever gotten it," he explained.

"I see," Naruto said. "But, kaleidoscope? For Hinata? It's more like a… void. But not like an empty void, like you can see intelligence in there. There's no doubt she's watching."

"The abyss," Sasuke replied. "I was told once, after my family was killed, that if you stare into the abyss…"

"The abyss stares back at you," Naruto finished. "How appropriate. Shin'engan, abyssal eyes." He paused, as another thought hit him.

Sasuke and Hinata both focused on him as his entire demeanor changed.

He looked at them seriously, worry in his eyes. "I think I just figured something out. Remember how I told you that Ibiki-san knew about our plans?"

Sasuke's eyes widened a fraction, though Hinata had no visible reaction.

"Yeah. I think there's been some stuff going on that we haven't seen," he continued, his arm tensing around Hinata. "I mean, I'm used to Ibiki-san knowing more than he should. But I think that's the trap. I mean, why should he have known about that? He has ANBU ninja under his command, and they should be good enough to follow us without us knowing, except for one thing. Hinata always checks. Even ANBU can't hide from a Hyuga. How would they have keep track of us in that kind of situation?"

Hinata nodded. "The usual method, if you have the resources available for an official mission, is to put a Hyuga on the surveillance team."

"So someone, Ibiki-san, or more likely the Hokage, talked to your father, and they're keeping an eye on us," Naruto said with conviction. "After all, we are… who we are."

The daughter of Hiashi Hyuga, first in line to inherit it and all its power.

The sole remaining Uchiha, heir to techniques, land, wealth, and old glory.

And Naruto, container for a being of unimaginable power.

Placed under the command of Kakashi, the most powerful elite jounin in the village outside of the Hokage himself.

"Hn. You're right," Sasuke admitted. "I don't think nearly as much has been left to chance as I'd originally thought."

Naruto suddenly grabbed at his hair with both hands. "Arg! I _hate_ mind games!"

Sasuke chuckled once and turned to Hinata. "So, you going to go talk to your father now?"

Hinata paused, looked down, then turned and looked at the two of them, her lips quirked up slightly. "You know, I think I will."

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

Wow.

That was really the only word for it.

It was a lot like the first time I had ever used the byakugan. I was about four, which is pretty young for a Hyuga. You never forget your first time. It's like the world explodes around you, but in a good way. You can see _everything_. At first it almost seems colorless, like shades of grey. But then you realize that you can still pick out the red from the orange and the blue from the purple. It's just that there's so many other new colors to see, ones you don't have names for yet, and they overwhelm the old colors to the point that even the most vibrant shades are kind of plain.

Of course, the other reason you never forget your first time using the byakugan is that, for a branch member like me, they put the manji seal on our forehead a week later, and that hurts like a bitch.

You activate your blood limit for the first time, they give you a week to play around with it, and some special attention and training to make you feel special, then they sit you down and tell you a bunch of things about duty and responsibility you don't really understand, and you start getting really nervous without knowing why, and the next thing you know there's two elder branch members holding you down and one more tattooing your forehead.

Leaves an impression.

But this… this was alike and unlike that first moment, because it opened up another new dimension.

Time.

When I'd accepted and Naruto's eyes had blazed red with chakra and his lips parted to reveal fangs that wouldn't look out of place on a fierce animal, I could hear his deep, growling voice, which no longer came from his throat, but whispered directly into my head. Naruto sank his teeth into my shoulder and even as I fought to keep from screaming at the intense pain, I heard him asking me what I wanted.

I wanted to see destiny. I was tired of the uncertainty.

The voice laughed, said the choices that made the future were not yet made, and that uncertainty was all any of us had. My only gift would be the past.

Well, that and the absolutely immense burst of chakra that filled me up like an empty cup. I could feel the choushijiro, the veins that fed chakra and blood into our eyes, practically humming under the tension of carrying so much power.

It was, I will admit, quite a rush. I didn't even notice when they left, I was too busy staring at things.

At first, it was like I was surrounded by ghosts. I could see these dim, insubstantial flickers of people doing things all around me. I looked at my IV, because it was close, and I could see the outline of hands touching it. I focused on those hands and they became clearer, until I was watching a ghostly replay of the nurse who'd come in, set it up, and put the needle into my arm.

I wondered where she'd gotten it, and with the ease of a thought, I watched the past run in reverse, as the IV was taken down, carried out of the room, down the hall, the stand went in one place, the saline came from another. But as much as I wanted to follow the nurse back into the past, I couldn't follow her past the moment she had picked up the first part of the IV I had started staring at. Everything got really hazy and indistinct, like there was too much that had happened all mushed together to the point I couldn't focus on any given thing.

Strange. Apparently, I could only follow the past of objects I was physically looking at.

So I looked at something else. I stared at the door to the room for a while. It really didn't do much, just kind of hung there, and opened every now and then. Then I made the mistake of looking at the hospital bed I was laying in.

A lot of people had died in that thing over the years.

It was a little creepy, especially since I was laying in it and looking down at myself I saw the ghosts of a dozen people put on the bed to die, so I got up, took out the IV, and decided to look around elsewhere.

The cut on my stomach pulled at me painfully, but I could tell it was already closing up. The bite mark on my shoulder had already closed and turned into a little pink row of scars. No wonder Hinata-sama was able to shake off her injuries so fast.

I slowly walked out of my room and down the hall, looking all around me, and I realized that the hospital was a poor place to use a power like that. Too many people have walked the halls, too many hands have touched the walls. But at the same time, the hallway was empty. The past was mostly just more of the same. Hours upon hours where almost no one traveled through it, and the people that did were no more noteworthy than the people you see walking down hallways in the present time.

The past was… boring.

I even spent a while looking into the past of a janitor's closet, hoping to find something interesting. Body storage, a secret tryst between a nurse and a patient, something.

Nothing.

I always knew those tales were lies.

I could feel myself burning through chakra, so I decided to stop using the byakugan. But, unfortunately, I quickly found out that, like Hinata, I no longer had the ability. Some consequence of the demonic chakra flowing through my coils, I guess.

No matter. I reached up and very carefully targeted the tenketsu associated with the choushijiro, sealing them with quick taps. I accidentally sealed one tenketsu too many on my left, causing me to be blind in my left eye, but I remembered where the tenketsu was and opened it back up. Simple. I could see again, but the chakra flow that forced my bloodlimit to activate was blocked.

For a while I amused myself with the potential entertainment I might get from not telling Hinata-sama about the simple, simple solution.

And then Gai showed up.

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

"She still in there?"

Sasuke knew Naruto was approaching, just by the fairly characteristic movement patterns, but he looked up, surprised by the sultry voice of Naruto's female form, which was actually deeper than his usual tone.

"Naruko?" he asked. "Yeah, she's still in there." He'd been waiting beside a road a few blocks from the Hyuga district, close enough to see if Hinata emerged from her house, but far enough that he didn't attract attention from any Hyuga guards. Naruto had left to get them something to eat, since Sasuke had eaten lightly before their fight and now had the Kyubi's chakra flowing through him, boosting his metabolism. Also, Sasuke strongly suspected Naruto had gotten antsy, and was suppressing his urge to actually storm the place and get Hinata back.

The blonde girl shrugged, setting her pigtails dancing. She was carrying a paper sack, which she opened and fished around inside before throwing a bread roll at Sasuke, who caught it.

"Anpan, right?" she replied. "That shop owner once threatened to tear off my balls and nail them over his door. Didn't think I'd give him the option this time."

Sasuke shook his head slightly and bit into the anpan, then licked the sweet red bean paste off his lips.

Naruko hopped up onto the wall beside him and bit into one as well, sitting the bag between them.

It was actually dark by then, but the streetlights were on and the moon was out, so it was easy enough for them to see. Naruto had a fox's night vision and Sasuke had the sharingan, so the darkness wasn't a problem.

"Still a girl?" Sasuke asked.

"Burning chakra. I made more clones, too." She ate another bite.

"So if you made more clones, why didn't you send one after the anpan?" he asked. "You love having minions."

Naruko's hand reached back and pulled on the back of her orange jacket, revealing the outlines of three long rods, actually, the three sheathes and hilts of her wakizashi. "Picked up the other two I ordered."

"Ah. Well, if you sit here like that, some girl is going to walk by and get the wrong idea."

"Saw Sakura having dinner with her parents, so the only one likely to matter is Ino, and that wouldn't matter much anyway. You already promised a date to Sakura."

Sasuke finished his anpan bun and reached for another. "Yeah, what's with that, anyway? Why do you want me to influence Sakura?"

Naruko shrugged. "I realize you don't much like her, but just because you don't like someone doesn't mean they can't be useful if you put a little effort into it. I used to not like you, and you're useful." She smiled sunnily at him.

He snorted. "Hn. But why Sakura? Why not Ino? Sakura is the weakest of our graduating class." He paused. "And she has the smallest…." He trailed off.

Naruko rolled her eyes. "You're taking the breast thing too far."

He gave her an innocent look. "What? I was talking about chakra reserves."

"Sure you were. But, look, she's cute, right?"

Sasuke raised his eyebrows. "You think she's cute, don't you. That's why you like her better than Ino."

Naruko blushed slightly. "Okay, ignore that."

Sasuke shook his head.

"Anyway, well, look at it this way. Sakura is safer than Ino. You're obviously not looking for a long term relationship. And if you just want sex, there are easier ways to get laid. Those are reasons not to be interested in Sakura or Ino, I admit. However, what you need, and this is an actual tool that, given who and what you are, you should have in your arsenal, is a pretty little arm decoration. A contact, someone who can be an old flame, a first girlfriend, that kind of thing. You're a leader, Sasuke. You need to start leading somewhere."

Sasuke raised one eyebrow. "You're such a romantic, Naruto."

She blushed again.

"And that still doesn't explain why Ino over Sakura." He frowned. "Actually, I think the pink hair is a little disturbing."

Naruko winced. "Yeah, okay, I admit, I probably should have thought about that, what with the whole Midori thing."

Sasuke visibly flinched.

"Anyway," Naruko said hurriedly. "Look at them. It's all about what they want from you that makes one safer than the other. Ino blonde, blue eyed, and has a pretty decent figure for her age. She's going to be smoking hot in a few years, but that's just it. _She knows it._ Ino flirts and plays and generally acts like boys are hers to be commanded, because, admittedly, she's right. Ino thinks she's the top girl, and she wants you because you're the top boy. In her mind, the top girl and the top boy belong together for symmetry's sake if nothing else, and getting you as a boyfriend will just confirm her opinion of herself. You'd have no hold over her, and the likelihood of her creating very public drama for one reason or another is pretty high, even if it's just because she's bored."

Sasuke shrugged. Naruto had clearly put more thought into it than he had ever bothered with.

"Now, look at Sakura," she continued. "Weakest in the class. Slowest in the class. But!" she added, holding up a finger, "not at all useless. Top scorer in knowledge and applied knowledge, she's just physically and emotionally weak. Malleable. Unlike Ino, she has a low opinion of herself. She wants you because it will elevate her own position and self image. Every bit of attention you pay to her makes her feel better, and that kind of thing is addictive. Sakura would do anything for you if you asked."

"You have such an idealistic view of love, don't you?"

"I'm right and you know it."

Sasuke glanced at his friend. "So what does Hinata want from you?"

Naruko nodded. "That's the first thing I asked myself after we really met. I thought a lot about it. Hinata is… was, actually, a wallflower, which was a tragic waste of potential. Hated herself. Lowest self image in the class, even lower than Sakura's. She had been told she was a failure so often she believed it, so when she saw me, the 'idiot', but one who never gave up, she admired that. Now, that wasn't exactly an accurate perception of things, but when I showed her how she could change herself, she took the chance."

She paused.

"The kind of courage… the kind of faith it takes to listen to this nobody kid no older than yourself who says that he can show you how to be better, when he's not even better himself…" Naruko trailed off.

"It scares you," Sasuke said quietly.

"No," Naruko denied, shaking her head hard enough to set her pigtails whipping back and forth. "It scares the _shit_ out of me." She threw her hand out in the general direction of the Hyuga compound. "I mean, look at this. Yeah, I've got a pretty good idea of what makes people tick. I watch, I listen. I'm smart. I've put a lot of thought into the plan for Hinata to get the respect of her father. I believe in the plan, even. It's the same basic plan I'm following, since no one respected me in the academy, either. Get good in secret, surprise them, and impress them. Make them doubt their earlier perceptions of you so that you can get them to believe in you later."

Sasuke watched as she seemed to run out of steam, hanging her head and looking down at the half eaten anpan in her hand.

"This is it, Sasuke. Do or die. Did I just fuck up, and is Hinata now paying for it? I don't know. I'd give anything for the byakugan right now, just to know what's going on in there. So, in answer to your unspoken question, yes, right now, I am scared. It's like that fucking fight with Neji earlier today. We did all we can to prepare, and now it's up to her, and it's not that I don't believe in her, but I swear that if they do anything to hurt her, using nothing but _pure will_, I will rip this seal from my stomach, unleash the Kyubi, _and watch this world burn_."

"Aww," Sasuke said ironically. "That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard you say."

Naruko's shoulders slumped. "You suck, Sasuke."

He rubbed one of her shoulders for a second. "And you're incredibly fucked up in the head. Don't argue with what works."

She laughed once, then hung her head again.

"I hope you weren't expecting something inane like 'It'll be okay.'"

She laughed again. "No, no, I wasn't."

They sat in silence for several minutes, listening to the crickets chirp and watching the fireflies blink at each other. A slight breeze picked up, rustling the leaves in the tops of the trees, and moving the air on the ground just enough to dry their sweat.

"So why do you want me?" Sasuke asked suddenly.

"W-what?!" Naruko spluttered, startled.

He rolled his eyes. "Plans, idiot. Ino wants me as some sort of status symbol, Sakura wants me because she's pathetic and I'm not, and I already talked to Hinata. You've made various comments about your long term plans and things like that, but you've never actually said what they are. So, I say again. What do you want?"

She shrugged. "I want to be the Hokage."

He blinked, surprised.

They sat in silence for several more minutes. Finally, Sasuke shook his head.

"You're lying."

Naruko turned towards him and leaned back, putting one hand on the top of the wall to support her half reclined position. "And what makes you say that?" she asked, her voice carefully neutral.

He shrugged. "I know you. You like to hide things. You also like to fool people with surprising but plausible answers. I also know that you're unsuited to the job, and if I know it, you know it. You hate the spotlight, as much as you try to get in it. 'Look at me, dismiss me,' right? Being the Hokage is being on this tall pedestal with a big bright bull's-eye painted on you. You might as well be wearing an 'assassinate me' sign. You'd hate it. That's how I know you're lying. So, I ask one final time. What do you want." There was an edge to his voice, some small anger.

Naruko hastily sat up straight. "I wasn't planning on lying to you, Sasuke, I just wanted to see what you'd say to that. Don't be mad, alright?" she pleaded.

He made a soft grunt.

"That is my secret goal, and I've only told that to four other people. Ibiki-san, Kakashi-sensei, Hokage-sama, and Hinata. But what I'm about to tell you is even more secret, and I've only admitted it to Hinata. You'll be the second."

Sasuke nodded.

She looked him in the eye and softly told him.

"I'm going to be the Kage."

Sasuke rubbed his chin thoughtfully. The shadow. Something more secretive than the Hokage, probably more powerful, at least the way Naruto was envisioning it. Just the name and the way Naruto said it told him all he needed to know about it. Naruto wanted to be the power behind the throne, probably the power behind a lot of thrones and governments. The people follow their leaders, be it daimyo, lord, Kazekage, Hokage, Raikage, whatever, and in turn, Naruto wanted to have power over those leaders. It was ambitious to the point of insanity in most. In Naruto… it fit. It fit a lot better than being the Hokage.

"That'll be pretty bad ass if you pull it off," Sasuke admitted.

"I know, right?" she agreed brightly.

"Starting with Konoha."

"Exactly!" she agreed again. "That's what I want you for. I think you'd make a pretty good Hokage. Great lineage, powerful, every jutsu you've ever seen, and you're smart enough to pull off the bureaucratic shit. That's why having Sakura loyal to you would be so awesome. She's not much of a fighter, but she'd be excellent in an administrative position. It'd be great." A mischievous twinkle lit her eyes. "I'd be the Kage, and you could be my Ho."

Sasuke closed his eyes and resisted the urge to stab Naruto in the face. "That's horrible.

"Yeah…" she replied, sounding pleased with herself. "But it's not really that I'd be all trying to rule you or anything, I mean, that'd be stupid. It's just that you'd rule Konoha, and I'd kind of manage international relations. Stir up some tensions here and there so everyone has something fun to do, but really it's all scripted so that no one really gets screwed and we all get economically fat. Kinda like how we fake discord in the team, but really we're all working towards one goal. It makes a lot of sense when you think about it, and I'm kinda worried that maybe that sort of thing is already going on. I guess if it is I'll just knock off the guy in charge and take over or something."

"Hn. So, what if I don't want to be the Hokage?" he asked, arching one eyebrow.

Naruko seemed taken aback, as if she hadn't thought of that. "Well, uh, I guess I could try to get Hinata to do it. First female Hokage... that'd be kind of neat."

Sasuke's lips twitched infinitesimally. "But she's already your 'Ho'."

Naruko cringed. "Alright, alright, I shouldn't have said that, it was a stupid pun. Please don't hurt me with it anymore."

Sasuke laughed silently.

She rallied once more. "I mean, why wouldn't you want the position? You could have all the resources of Konoha at your disposal, and hunt your brother down like a dog." She got more excited.

"I mean, what was that crap that your brother told you? 'Run far and fast, do anything for power, don't get attached to anything, live in a disgraceful manner, and only then will you gain the power to defeat me,' or some ridiculous crap like that?"

Sasuke shook his head. "That's not exactly what he said-"

Naruko made a chopping motion with her hand. "But close enough right? Seriously, what the fuck is that shit? Sounds to me like he left you alive so you'd suffer more, then told you that ridiculous pack of lies to make sure that you would keep torturing yourself in his absence. If he's that bad ass, why did he run from Konoha? I'll tell you why. It's because if all of Konoha got together, he'd be one dead son of a bitch, no offense to your mother."

"None taken," Sasuke heard himself saying faintly.

"That's not how you do vengeance! I mean, damn. Even if somehow that did work and you killed him, you'd have destroyed your life in the process. I've never met your brother, but I have to admit, Sasuke, he is one S rank _bastard_ for messing with your head like that. You want revenge? Live _well_. Friends, lovers, followers. Get as much of everything as you can handle. Enjoy yourself. Gain power, yeah. You've got a hell of a lot of talent as a ninja, obviously, but you know? Use money and influence and military might. Have your brother be a hunted man no matter where he's at. Everyone and the Mizukage chasing after him. And then they catch him, and he's brought before you in chains, a broken man, while you're kicked back in a nice chair, surrounded by loyal friends and followers, with a couple of beauties surrounding you-"

She paused and made two clones of herself, which immediately jumped down and knelt in front of Sasuke.

"Hokage-sama," they chorused in identical, sultry voices.

"And one of your ANBU makes him bow to you and you place your foot on the back of his neck, lean down, and say, 'Foolish little brother.'" She stopped again and grinned at him. "Now THAT is a revenge worth having."

Sasuke didn't smile, and Naruko soon lost hers, staring at him with increasing worry. The clones dispelled.

"Uh, Sasuke?" Honestly, she'd sort of expected more of a reaction.

He shook his head. "There's something I haven't told you, and I should. I owe it to you. It's something about our ultimate power, the final stage of the sharingan." He sighed, wondering if he was about to make a big freaking mistake. After several moments of thought, he nodded firmly to himself, convinced it was the right thing to do.

"In order to get the mangekyo sharingan… I have to kill my best friend."

Naruko closed her jaw with a click. "Oh. Well, that does complicate things a little, assuming you want the mangekyo sharingan and all." Inwardly, she reeled in shock.

Sasuke shrugged helplessly.

"How sure are you of that information?" she asked slowly and carefully. "Could it be another lie of your brother's?" Naruko hoped it was, anyway.

"I'm pretty sure," he admitted regretfully. "Itachi told me, yes, but he also told me of family scrolls that would confirm it, and I've seen them. Also, he didn't get his until after he'd killed his best friend, Shisui. That happened about three days before he murdered the rest of my family."

"That does complicate things," she said faintly.

"Annnnd there goes all that trust and teamwork," he said, his voice empty.

Naruko shrugged, then hesitated. Sasuke had basically just said he'd been planning on murdering her at some point to gain a more powerful bloodlimit. But… he was also telling her right then. You don't announce your murderous intentions before you kill.

And, Naruko had to admit, she'd entertained some pretty serious plots to kill Sasuke before, as well. Hinata had even nearly done it. And yet, here they were, sitting in the dark, eating anpan together. What's a plot to murder each other between friends?

"Ah, fuck it." She dispelled the transformation, reverting back to being a male. Naruto quickly drew a wakizashi with one hand and grabbed Sasuke's hand with the other, forcibly wrapping his fingers around the hilt, leaving the tip pointed at his throat. He actually leaned forward until it nearly touched, and it would only take a twitch to drive the blade through his throat.

His eyes, half hidden in the darkness, bored into Sasuke's own.

"Are you going to kill me?" he asked plainly.

Sasuke's eyes widened at his friend's actions. "No!" he cried, snatching his hand away.

Naruto nodded and resheathed the blade. "I can live with that. If you change your mind, well…"

"You'll be the first to know," Sasuke replied, still a little shocked.

Then they both realized that he'd basically said that Naruto's first warning that he'd decided otherwise was going to be a blade in the heart, and Sasuke shut up, feeling sort of awkward.

That killed the conversation, so they sat and waited for Hinata.

Naruto couldn't help but add something to that, though.

"Thanks, Sasuke," he said, a rueful smile on his lips.

"For telling you the truth?" he asked.

Naruto shook his head. "Nah, for saying I'm your best friend."

"Your priorities are screwed up, Naruto."

They waited some more. It was a pleasant night, though it had been a long day and Sasuke was really sort of wishing that Hinata would finally be allowed out.

"But," he said out loud, "If it was a real problem and not just some sort of grilling by her clan elders or something, she would probably call to you through the blood pact, and you'd know, and we'd rush in there and die trying."

"That's true," Naruto replied, sounding a lot happier. "It might also be some sort of test on us. How far would we go to support her? If that's the case, we just have to wait here until they're convinced we really mean it. I can do that."

"Or maybe they did Tea."

Naruto groaned. "We'll be here forever at that rate."

Abruptly, he sat up straighter as one of the clones he'd made and spread out as a perimeter watch dispelled. "OhshitSasukeherecomesGai-"

Maito Gai suddenly stood before them.

"-sensei," Naruto finished lamely.

They both jumped up and bowed deeply and respectfully to the incredibly powerful elite jounin who might be pretty angry at them.

Gai stared back, and his gaze was frosty.

Scratch that. He _was_ pretty angry with them.

"Gai-sensei," Naruto said helplessly.

"Why did you feel the need to attack my other two students after Hinata-chan and Neji-kun had already had their differences?" he asked.

Naruto resisted the urge to wince. "Because we wanted to express our thanks for teaching us and our apology for disturbing the harmony of your team with Hyuga clan business."

"By attacking and beating my other students."

"Yes, Gai-sensei."

"And your reasoning that I would want that outcome was…?"

Naruto did wince. "Ah, Sensei, it was my idea, and it wasn't that I believed you wanted us to attack Tenten-kun and Lee-kun, so much as you wanted them to learn a lesson from our team. I did not expect you to invite us to train with you again after what we were regrettably forced to do to Neji by Hyuga clan politics, so I thought it would be a good idea to share the lessons we have learned with Tenten and Lee. It was not my intention to overstep my bounds, but I understood the aspects of betterment and teamwork that Lee and Tenten were having trouble grasping and did my best to help them understand in the time I had available."

A muscle in Gai's jaw flexed and jumped, as if he was resisting the urge to grit his teeth, or perhaps scream.

"So, Naruto-kun. You believed you had it all figured out. You figured out the things I wanted everyone to learn, and you acted on that knowledge."

"Yes, Gai-sensei," Naruto replied, his heart sinking. He'd fucked up somewhere, and now he was about to pay for it.

"And what weaknesses did you set out to fix in Lee?" Gai asked.

Naruto had no choice but to press on and be honest with the man.

"Lee-kun focused on improving his body to the exclusion of all else, trusting only in you to guide him on the battlefield. But at the same time, he yearned for what he perceived as the glory of ninjutsu. I could tell by his defensive reactions to my verbal prods that he had his doubts about your training. I did not believe you would lead him down an obviously dangerous and difficult path without a good reason, so I did my best to reinforce his faith in you and your teachings, and at the same time show him that he needed to rely more on his teammates to balance out his weakness in subterfuge and tactics. I used trickery and misdirection to harmlessly knock him out with a drug. If I'd beaten him in a straight up fight, he would have gotten the wrong message and would have spent even more time training in taijutsu, but that's not where he was weak. Lee needed to understand that, as ninjas, deception is our greatest skill, not ninjutsu."

Naruto cringed inwardly at the arrogance in his voice, but he'd been sure. Hell, he still was sure that those were Lee's weaknesses. But Gai still wasn't happy.

"Tenten?"

"Excellent skills, surprisingly well balanced despite her greatest strength being long range fighting. She's got all the right skills to be a leader, but lets herself be overshadowed by her flashier, more aggressive teammates. Lee does not think tactically enough to be a leader, and Neji doesn't think emotionally enough. Tenten is the balance between the two, but she's been relying on you and individual skills to make up for a lack of focused teamwork. I told her where her team was weak, showed her how it could be exploited, then showed her how my team worked so that we did not have those weaknesses."

"Naruto?"

Naruto opened his mouth to begin his comments on Neji, then his brain caught up to his ears and he paused.

"Err, yes, Gai-sensei?" he asked.

Gai looked down at him. "You were right about Lee and Tenten," he began, his voice deceptively mild. "Neji as well, I have no doubt. You are to be commended for your analytical skills. You were right, you were absolutely right. I did want Lee and Tenten to learn those lessons, though not necessarily in such a hurried fashion. Still, I have no doubt that they will benefit greatly from this event." Abruptly his voice lowered and the two genin shivered under the power of his glare. "However, what of you, Naruto? What lesson did I want you to learn? Have you learned it? What about Sasuke, here? Or Hinata? You're such a clever boy, Naruto. I'm sure you've already handled your team's lessons as well. I'd like to hear those summaries as well."

Naruto's mouth worked like a stranded fish. No sound came out. Honestly, it had never occurred to him that Gai had offered to train them to, you know, train them. They weren't his students.

Gai seemed to get bigger before their eyes, and both boys felt very small indeed. Gai opened his mouth to thunder…

…and then he put his hand over his face, and just stood there, covering his eyes, for several long minutes. What they didn't know was, inwardly, he was berating himself.

He understood. This wasn't their failure.

It was his.

No matter how smart they were, no matter how powerful, they were still just genin. Young, inexperienced genin, at that. Genin with tremendous promise and the learning curve of a jounin, but at the same time, they were not yet adults. It was Gai's responsibility as the teacher to spot misconceptions and mistakes, and fix them. He'd known, intellectually, at least, that Kakashi's students saw everything as 'us versus them', because for all of their lives it really had been them versus the world, but he hadn't let himself truly think about what that meant for their interactions.

His own students actually suffered from similar, though not necessarily as intense, feelings of persecution and failure. He'd done his best to give them a rock to lean on, someone they could always trust and rely on. He would never fail them, no matter what it took. And, slowly, he taught them how to be friends, because each of his students was too prickly to bond with each other at the beginning. He was their surrogate father, and they were brothers and sister.

Kakashi didn't work that way. He tossed them together, forced them to rely on each other to survive, and let them iron out their differences on their own, interfering just barely enough to keep them from murdering each other in the process. At the same time, Kakashi removed himself from the workings of the team, keeping himself distant and unreliable so they wouldn't turn to him. It worked, there was no denying that. His team was a well oiled machine, ready for the most dangerous missions imaginable. But they were a pack just like Kakashi's dogs, harmonious with each other, suspicious and hostile to outsiders. He'd made the mistake of treating them as he would his own students, and it was too late for that.

Gai had made a mistake, and at the moment, he had no idea how to fix it.

Naruto and Sasuke froze, waiting for what would happen next.

"Run." It was so soft, it came out quieter than a whisper.

"Gai-sensei?" Naruto asked hesitantly.

"Run," he said louder.

They ran.

He dropped his hand to his side and turned his face to the stars.

"Damn you, Kakashi," he whispered. "They were just children."

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Naruto and Sasuke ran. At first, they ran pretty fast. Lacking any more direction than the order to run itself, they opted to start a loop around Konoha, following the well worn path where more than a few ninjas ran. It was pretty dark in places, under the trees, and there was a nasty uphill climb and an equally bad downhill section, because, unfortunately, around Konoha meant that they had to cross the Hokage mountain. Every half loop they made they used to run by the Hyuga district, still waiting for Hinata to come out.

It was hell. Not because of the run itself, which was easily doable for someone in peak physical condition, and with both of them still running on the Kyubi's chakra, they felt the kilometers flow by.

No, it was the sickening knowledge that Naruto had made a mistake. What was worse, it was a mistake he didn't really understand. He'd been right, so absolutely right… but it all got messed up anyway.

Naruto didn't like to think about what that could mean for Hinata.

It ate at him inside.

They made two and a half full circuits, which took over an hour, before they finally saw Hinata sitting on the wall beside the long since abandoned bag of anpan buns.

Naruto faltered.

Her clothes were mussed and dirty. Her hair was tangled. There was a leaf… no, a white orchid petal hanging from a few errant strands of hair, shining softly in the pale moonlight.

Her hitai-ate was still covering her eyes. Her forehead was clean and unmarked.

And she smiled.

She was quite possibly the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Then she said the greatest thing he'd ever heard.

"Your plan worked, Naruto-sama."


	22. Filler chapter 2: expanded world notes

Filler chapter 2: expanded world notes on People Lie

WARNING: this only contains like one tiny little spoiler about the future of People Lie, and it's not like it's one you can't see coming. However, it DOES provide quite a bit of information about what's already happened and my thoughts and reasonings on those events. Don't read if you don't want to know.

The notes on setting and politics and techniques are things the characters know and take for granted, and the notes on character bios and concepts should give you a good idea of how I write and how I come up with this stuff.

As mentioned, this is sort of a filler chapter. I've seen some comments from people who said they liked seeing some of my author's notes and piecing together how I come up with this story. This isn't a story chapter. You can safely skip it and not miss anything important. But at the same time, there's a certain type of nerd out there that thrives on numbers and quantification. I do fanservice for everybody I can.

And since I have fairly large, detailed notes on things, kinda my own personal wiki for this story specifically, I might as well clean it up and post it. Since I've changed a number of things about the setting and the characters, it's kind of a necessity. Not all of these are deliberately made different than canon. I've read some of the factbooks and fan bibles, like leafninjadotcom.

I'm not changing everything, I just wanted to take the ninja stuff and make it more realistic. Later on, I threw in some of the lovecraftian themes. First, the setting.

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Konoha.

Total population: approx. 15000  
Additional population, immediate area: approx. 2000  
Average number of transients: approx. 800  
Average number of transients, chunin exams: approx. 5000

Ranked shinobi, active duty:  
Genin: approx. 800  
Chunin: approx. 150  
Special Jounin: approx. 5  
Jounin: approx. 55  
Elite Jounin: 2

Hokage: 1

ANBU active members, which may be chunin, special jounin, or jounin, but are not counted in the above:  
Chunin: approx. 20  
Special Jounin: approx. 25-35  
Jounin: approx. 15

Unranked shinobi: approx. 50  
Retired shinobi (medical, age, choice): approx. 400

Retired Legends: 2?

Missing nin: approx. 20-70

S ranked missing nin: 1?

Life for a Konoha native starts at the age of five, when they're given the opportunity to go to the Academy, the only organized school in Konoha. It is a point of pride for families to have children in the Academy, most families, especially established clans, send every child they have the minute they're old enough. The education is paid for by the village, a mixture of taxes and income from missions goes to giving academy students the best education available, though it is skewed rather heavily towards learning to kill silently and efficiently rather than more scholarly pursuits. Academy students learn a wide variety of skills, most of them intended for wilderness operations given the vast expanses of forest in the Fire country. The most important skill, however, is the ability to focus and use chakra, and it is the single most important determinant of a student's potential.

There are smaller schools scattered around the fire country, mostly run by retired ninja of chunin level or higher, who look among the orphans and less fortunate for the occasional spark of real talent. Most of these schools masquerade as martial arts dojos, mainly following a family school. Ninja skills are taught in secret. These students form a sort of irregular group, with skills and technique varying widely. The best of them are typically sent on to Konoha for more elaborate instruction, though a teacher might keep one as an heir.

Graduation from the Academy marks a fork in the road for genin. After graduation, genin are divided into teams of three, then given a temporary jounin-sensei. These jounin then evaluate the students under criteria largely set by the jounin in question. If the jounin finds the team satisfactory, they become students and are given training and guidance to fully realize their potential. As children from established ninja clans are given extra training, usually starting before they enter the academy, and are often heirs to clan techniques or bloodlines, they tend to get the most attention and are often taken as genin-students. Orphans or other students without family advantages have a harder time, but are not discriminated against and sometimes turn out to be more gifted than the ones from powerful clans. Fertile soil grows the most trees, but sometimes the most beautiful flowers grow in rocky ground. Such teams almost always make chunin at the least, have higher survival rates, are promoted more often, and are invariably better fighters than their classmates who didn't make the grade.

Genin that aren't taken as students by jounin are sent back for additional training, sometimes given another chance to impress a prospective jounin-sensei, but more often routed into more extensive education to teach specialized skills. These genin are subpar fighters who rarely have a any advanced skills. The best of them are used to patrol, guard, or perform low ranked missions, always with at least a chunin in command. Ones with talents in certain areas may be trained as medics, specialized equipment makers, or sent on long term infiltration missions. Less gifted genin are often used as clerks or service providers in sensitive positions. Genin make up the vast majority of any hidden village's forces.

Chunin are genin who have displayed leadership abilities as well as advanced fighting skills. In times of war, chunin are promoted based on proven abilities, most notably the ability to survive while completing the mission. Success in war is absolute proof that genin are ready to be chunin. During peace times, though, conditions aren't as arduous, and no village would dare to artificially inflate its ranks. Harsh public tournaments have been created, often with more than one village participating. These tournaments serve as indicators that chunin hopefuls have what it takes, but are judged more harshly than wartime experience, as an indicator is not proof. Promotion rates always go down in peace time. Chunin are the backbone of any village, and get the widest variety of missions. They are instructors, guards, assassins, and most importantly, leaders of genin squads. Given that only about one in three of all genin can ever expect to make chunin in their lifetimes, chunin often end up commanding genin older than themselves. As chunin get a wide range of missions, including many of the most important, their mortality rate is high.

Special Jounin are chunin with some jounin level skills, but not enough to qualify as a full jounin. Most often, a chunin displays incredible talents as a fighter, but little or no leadership ability. These ninja can still advance, but aren't suitable for the level of responsibility of a jounin. They are jounin level in fighting, but are not considered for leadership positions or as genin teachers. Most go into ANBU and stay. Rarer still are those chunin with jounin level leadership or other abilities, but who don't make the grade as fighters, such as Morino Ibiki. They are used as REMFs in Konoha. Special jounin may eventually be promoted to full jounin, but it is much rarer than chunin being promoted to jounin.

Jounin are the elite of any village. They are skilled in all aspects of stealth, assassination, and war, and have proved so over and over. Jounin are the assassins assassins, leaders of chunin and genin alike, and are a nigh unstoppable presence on the battlefield. Unlike chunin, jounin are promoted through secret trials, tests, and evaluations, and only a kage or other jounin are fit to judge a jounin. Jounin may take any mission, but their real duties are the missions that absolutely have to be completed right. Due to their value to any hidden village, jounin are rarely pitted against another jounin for any reason other than a mission critical to the welfare and success of the hidden village. Fights between jounin outside of war are rare, but happen, even between 'allied' villages, as missions often have multiple interested parties. If one jounin gives up or is too wounded to fight, they are usually captured and ransomed back to their home village, especially if the villages are allies. Jounin also serve as advisers to the Hokage, are often in charge of some operations division, and set low to mid level policy.

ANBU are the elite of the elite, and are in charge of intelligence, counter intelligence, secret operations, and missions for the village. ANBU do not take jobs from outside customers, their mission is neither more nor less than the safety and success of the village. ANBU are pulled from the best of the normal ranks on a rotating basis, and normally given several years of duty, followed by either several years of normal operations or permanent retirement from ANBU. Especially talented chunin fighters with minimal leadership abilities may be pulled for ANBU duty, and these perform the grunt work of the organization. These chunin are also the most likely to be promoted to special jounin. Special jounin make up the largest single group of ANBU, and are often given the longest tours of duty without breaks, as they have been declared unfit for standard jounin duties. They get the most missions and often the most dangerous. Their numbers remain small because of their high mortality rate, as more ninja display jounin level fighting ability than they do jounin level leadership. Very few make it through their first tour of duty. Jounin are the leaders of ANBU, and while they also get assignments as dangerous as that of special jounin, they have proven their intelligence and wisdom and have a higher survival rate.

Elite jounin break most of the rules. Most are ex ANBU, but once they become such a resource to the village that they're considered elite, little things like chain of command and departmental boundaries no longer matter as much. They are fearsome opponents on and off the battlefield, and the difference between the average jounin and an elite jounin is as great as the distance between the average genin and the average jounin. They're the group most often considered for the position of Hokage. Konoha currently has two active duty elite jounin, Kakashi Hatake and Maito Gai.

The current Hokage, Sasuke Sarutobi, held the nicknames of The Professor and The God of Shinobi.

Unranked shinobi are a relatively small group, largely made up of either academy dropouts or people with enough skill to be considered a shinobi but never attended the academy or joined the ranks. They are often little better than the average Konoha civilian in terms of fighting prowess, and, while their skills make them valuable to the civilians of the village for some tasks, they are not called upon to fill sensitive positions if a genin is available. Of course, some unranked shinobi are actually deep cover intelligence agents for Konoha, or, in some cases other villages, or other shinobi who, for whatever reason, don't fit into the ranks. Skills may vary.

Most ninja retire for medical reasons. Missing limbs, chakra coil damage, or any of a thousand conditions may happen to shinobi battling at the limits of their bodies and minds. If they survive, they retire. If they don't, well, there's a reason not many ninja retire due to old age. Some ninja simply lose the will to fight. Stress, mental trauma, or simply losing their edge can all make a ninja, especially a special jounin or jounin, unfit to operate at their ranked level. Some take breaks. Some take easy missions for a time. Some simply retire. Most ninja, assuming they live that long, retire somewhere around their late thirties due to losing their edge, and there is no stigma attached to the action. Given the hazards of being an active duty ninja, early retirement is the only way to see old age. Some continue active duty until they hit sixty and compulsive retirement. They're the crankiest, hardest, most deadly couple of old geezers anyone has ever seen. All retired ninja may be called up to the limit of their abilities in times of need. Retired jounin tend to get positions on the council or as advisors. Others may have businesses, or simply settle down and raise the kids or grandkids.

Legendary ninjas break ALL the rules. They are arguably more powerful than any 'average' elite jounin, if such a thing could be said to exist, though really the difference in power isn't that great. Legends are really just elite jounin with more experience than average and a reputation that makes everyone, even their home villages, treat them with caution. A legend's act of retiring from active duty both comforts and worries enemy villages. It's a good thing for them, because it reduces the chance of running into them on any given mission, but it also worries them, because not all legends retire as fully as everyone wishes they would. Konoha has two retired Legendary ninja, Tsunade and Jiraiya. Once there was a third, the snake summoner Orochimaru, but only three people really know what happened to him. He just kind of… went away.

Missing nin are a small group of ninja who, for whatever reason, decided to leave the ninja life without permission. In Konoha, it is usually because of a crime of some sort, as Konoha makes a policy of having the easiest retirement of all the ninja villages. Still, there are some people who cannot handle the life, and simply wanting to quit is not sufficient reason to be allowed to do so. Most missing nin are hunted down within a few years and quickly killed or captured. This falls under ANBU's duties. Some are left free as part of elaborate plots. The life of a missing nin is generally short and brutal.

S rank missing nin, as they are most often called, are actually elite jounin or legendary ninja who have been declared traitors by their village. Itachi is the only currently known S ranked missing nin from Konoha, but there have been others, now dead. Hopefully, they'll stay dead.

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Techniques:

It is a misconception to think that shinobi are unstoppable fighters. Shinobi are specialists. They spy, they assassinate, and they take on odd jobs. Their strength is stealth and secrecy. They are not soldiers. Ninja only take the field in numbers against other ninja. Wars between ninja villages are called Secret or Shinobi wars, and rarely spill over into conventional warfare. However, conventional warfare always involves ninja as spies or assassins. That's what they're there for.

Ninja techniques are a closely guarded secret, yet they are also commonly stolen, and most villages have access to all the common ones. Konoha is fond of the Uchiha and Hyuga clans for being quite adept at stealing enemy jutsus. Until Itachi slaughtered most of them, the Uchiha had made quite a career of contributing techniques to the Konoha technique library, making them one of the single most valuable clans to the village as a whole. Jounin are allowed full access to the library of techniques, except for the kinjutsu, often learning new techniques as they have time.

Chunin are allowed some access to the more common techniques, and genin are all but forbidden from the library. Academy students are taught the most basic techniques, literally available to any village. Only academy students from clans or heir to clan techniques are likely to know anything beyond kawarimi, bunshin, and henge, which gives those students a tremendous advantage. This policy continues even when a student makes genin. Jounin-senseis may teach each genin one or two techniques, but more than that is extremely rare.

There is considerable pressure to learn techniques, and displaying a wide variety of techniques is proof of skill. That being said, teaching advanced techniques to academy students or genin is actively discouraged. More genin go missing nin than any other group. Advanced techniques are dangerous, and can kill the unlucky or unprepared. Most ninja, even chunin, only have the chakra reserves to use one high level technique per fight, so knowing a lot of techniques doesn't mean they're usable. A powerful technique isn't necessarily an automatic win. And, most importantly, if a shinobi expects to grow powerful, he must work for it. Steal the technique, bribe someone to teach you, invent one yourself. Ninja do not fight in massed numbers, they're often forced to rely on their own strength, and critical missions often hang on a single person.

To make the most powerful ninja, hidden villages, even the 'compassionate' Konoha, puts their children through harsh conditions deliberately designed to weed out the weak and unsuitable. The difference is, unlike the Bloody Mist, Konoha doesn't kill them as a matter of policy. Mist pits them against each other, then promotes the survivor, creating a lot of killers who see each other as rivals. Konoha pits them against their environment, encouraging them to band together, then promotes the most successful. A genin knowing a lot of techniques is remarkable not because of the skill it takes to learn the technique, but because of the skill it takes to steal that many.

Spy. Conceal. Deduce. Steal. These are the skills a genin must learn in order to become powerful.

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Konoha is the largest ninja village in the elemental countries, due mainly to having a large civilian population. The large number of civilians gives it a steady supply of children for the Academy, plus a comparatively large industrial base to cater to the ranking shinobi. Konoha also boasts the largest number of shinobi of the hidden villages, while maintaining quality. Konoha's civilians are completely under the rule of the Hokage and the village council, but due to fair and generous policies, enjoy a consistently high standard of living easily comparable with that of the capital of the Fire country. Most civilians know at least rudimentary fighting skills and chakra theory, and, on average, would make good soldiers in times of need. Konoha itself has no suburbs, but, there are quite a few farms some distance away from the city and regularly patrolled by shinobi, making the region self sufficient for basic foodstuffs, though processed foods and luxury items still have to be imported.

Konoha, like most of the Elemental countries, suffers from a basic lack of energy sources. Technology exists, but technology needs power, and power is rare and expensive. Cities in Fire rely on large, hidden geothermal electric plants, but the infrastructure isn't there to transmit power very far, so the average farmhouse in the country rarely has more than a wind turbine and a few light bulbs, if that. Most use oil or kerosene lamps. Whale oil or wax candles are most common.

Liquid fuels are even rarer than electricity. Petroleum products are almost nonexistent. Plastics are plant based, where they exist at all. Cars practically do not exist, since the fuel isn't there to run them. Where engines exist at all, they generally run on kerosene made as a byproduct of charcoal manufacture. Alcohol fuels exist but aren't generally used, since they are too expensive and alcohol is mostly used in the limited industrial base or for human consumption.

The lack of fuel sources severely limit the industries that are supportable, but it also limits the farming that can be sustained, since most farms still use manual labor and domestic animals. As a result, the total population has a small cap, and one bad growing season can start a chain of starvation, migration, and war that might take decades to calm down. Thus, the many small, competing countries with large armies and ninja villages.

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Conventional Armies:

Conscripts and volunteers make up the vast majority of the Fire country's army. They have minimal training and are poor fighters compared to even a single genin, but in a pitched battle would quickly overwhelm any genin foolish enough to stand his ground through sheer numbers.

Trained samurai are the rulers of the battlefield. They are trained specifically to fight out in the open, and it would be foolish to underestimate them. One on one, kunai versus katana, a samurai is the equal of any genin, and many could take a chunin in a fight. Samurai have their own techniques for using chakra, mostly devoted to skill with their swords and bows, and are quite deadly with them. By the time a ninja reaches jounin, however, he may be assured of being able to take any given samurai in a fair fight, and jounin never willingly fight fair.

Elite samurai exist right alongside elite ninja, however. A particularly skilled samurai general in the Lightning country takes considerable pride in having personally slaughtered the five jounin assassination squads sent after him. His assassination is now considered an S class mission, and as such he lives in relative peace. Some people are just too hard to kill.

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Other powerful groups:

Monks are residents of various temples who train extensively in martial arts, taijutsu, and spiritual techniques. Monks fight more like ninjas than samurai, but without the emphasis on stealth and deception. The Guardians of Fire are a group of monks devoted to the safety of the Fire Country, and are given much honor and respect as a result. Asuma Sarutobi was a member of this group.

Mystics and sorcerers are people who have devoted their lives to the study of some aspect of arcane knowledge, but all but ignore their spiritual bodies. They have incredible powers even beyond that of high level ninjutsu, but they die from a kunai in the back just like everyone else. Most of them are more concerned with knowledge or influence on other planes than the world around them, so conflicts are rare.

Religion is an integral part of many people's lives, with Shinto being the most common and Buddhism a distant second. Numerous other religions exist, ranging from cults worshiping given spirits or deities specifically, to broader variations on Shinto and Buddhism.

Of note, however, is the creation and growth of the various tailed beast cults. Though generally small, poor, and not very influential, the stars change, and one day the time will be right.

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Politics

Konoha does not rule the Fire country, but is not exactly under the rule of the Daimyo. When the Shodai Hokage founded the village, there was some question as to who was the true ruler. The Daimyo at the time made it clear that, if he wished, he could mobilize his army and crush Konoha under the might of his legions, and there wasn't anything Konoha could do about it. The Shodai Hokage then pointed out that, if he wished, he could have the heads of the Daimyo, his family, and everyone in his court decorating his walls by sunup the next day. There is now a mutual understanding between the Hokage and the Daimyo where Konoha will not take any mission counter to the interests of the government of the Fire country, and will also provide exclusive services in times of war, and the Daimyo will stay out of ninja business and politics.

Waterfall is Konoha's most reliable ally. Too small to be a serious threat to any of the five great villages, but too big to be ignored, Waterfall relies on its close ties to Konoha to survive and prosper. Konoha and Waterfall ninja who meet on opposite sides of the same mission do not fight as part of the treaty between the two villages.

Grass is the next most friendly to Konoha, though it is a vicious sort of alliance, made under the threat of war. Grass is too small to fight Konoha directly, and too prudent to turn down a useful agreement, but Grass ninja are resentful of the power held by the Leaf. However, so long as they know Konoha will come down on them like a ton of bricks for any attack, relations remain cordial, if stiff. Grass and Konoha ninja who meet on opposite sides of the same mission do not fight as part of the treaty between the two villages, though sometimes the rule gets broken if Grass thinks it can get away from it.

Sand is one of the five great villages, powerful enough that they can fight with Konoha, but the alliance still stands. Sand lost badly to Konoha, badly enough to be grateful for the comparatively gentle treatment they received. Of all the ninja villages, Sand is the most prudent, carefully weighing cost and benefit, so the resentment over the loss never completely eclipsed the value of the forced alliance. Recently, Sand has been looking more to the west, meaning it has rarely come into conflict with Konoha, and relations remain friendly. However, unlike Grass or Waterfall, Sand won't back down from a shared interest just because Konoha wants it to.

Konoha and Sand ninja who meet on opposite sides of the same mission follow the usual pecking order of ninja combat, where the higher ranking ninja is generally allowed to have the mission uncontested, and the lower ranking ninja is either allowed to flee or is captured. If a Konoha nin is captured, Sand follows the rules of good conduct and does not torture or harshly interrogate the captive or captives, though it's still a harrowing experience for a first timer. Captives are ransomed back to the other village. The treaty gives both sides a chance to preserve valuable ninja and avoid unnecessary losses. However, if the ninja are evenly matched and chose to fight, no sanctions are levied on either side, even in the case of death.

Rain is not friendly to Konoha, but also not especially hostile, being largely concerned with their own affairs, including recent civil war. Rain once fought Konoha to a standstill, and there is still a wary respect between the two countries, despite Rain not being included in the list of great villages. Konoha ninja and Rain ninja who meet on opposite sides of a mission follow the usual rules of ninja combat, though Konoha ninja are far more likely to fight rather than give up and be captured. Rain ninja have a history of casual cruelty. Interrogations, beatings, petty torture, and rape are known to happen, though are still uncommon, and never 'officially' sanctioned by Rain. Rain ninja simply tend to be assholes.

Stone hates Konoha with a quiet, patient attitude. However, they also lost a war with Konoha, and lost it badly. And unlike Sand, Stone fought long and hard, vicious even when they were winning, and more vicious when the tide turned. Konoha almost completely broke Stone's power, slaughtering more than seventy percent of their active ninja and crippling many of the rest. As a part of the surrender terms, Stone lost many of its technique libraries, including some powerful bloodlines and family lines. Though still considered one of the five great villages, Stone has yet to completely rebuild its power, and it will be quite a while before they challenge Konoha for dominance again. Konoha and Stone ninja who meet on a mission follow the usual rules of ninja combat, with a strong preference on the part of Stone for taking Leaf ninja captive. Stone is a poor ninja village for its size and needs the money from ransoms, strictly following the rules of good conduct with their captives. However, Stone won't hesitate to send a captive to the torture chambers if they think it'll be worth it.

Cloud is the second most powerful ninja village in all the elemental countries, and is also the biggest problem for Konoha. The two villages have come close to all out war on any number of occasions, and it's anyone's guess as to which one would win. Cloud is an unusual village compared to the others. Cloud and Lightning Country in general are pretty nice places to live. No random oppression, a good economy boosted by trade, and reasonable laws. It is not unlike Konoha in most respects. However, Cloud and Konoha are bitter rivals and enemies.

Cloud's most unusual trait is a dedication to eugenics that even bloodlimit proud Konoha finds excessive. Cloud has long been fascinated with bloodlimits and studies them at every opportunity to replicate or improve them. Cloud also encourages bloodlimit carriers to join the village, and some have even taken them up on the offer. However, eternally security conscious Cloud invariably treats first generation immigrants like second class citizens. Any children, and they are encouraged with a mix of money, privileges, and threats to have as many children as possible, are taken from their parents and raised in special orphanages where they are carefully indoctrinated to be loyal Cloud ninja first. Then they are allowed to learn family techniques and bloodlimit techniques from the complete strangers that are their biological parents. Second and third generation bloodlimit users are generally considered full Cloud ninja and accorded all rights thereof. That's Cloud at its most compassionate.

The flip side is that not all first generation bloodlimit users are willing immigrants. Cloud has a longstanding history of kidnapping, capturing, buying, and killing to get new bloodlimits. Unwilling victims may find special abilities surgically stolen where applicable, then they are 'encouraged' to have children to carry on the bloodline, willing participation not necessary. Exotic cross breeds and medical techniques combine and modify bloodlimits, always seeking to make each new Cloud ninja as powerful as possible.

Two of the techniques most lusted after by Cloud are the Sharingan and the Byakugan. The widely known transplanting of a sharingan eye into Copy Nin Kakashi intrigued and frustrated them, as they had tried the technique a number of times with recently dead Uchiha and were always frustrated by failure. Kakashi is number two on their most wanted list.

Number one is a living Main House Hyuga. The byakugan has fascinated and frustrated Cloud since before Konoha was even founded. As the unquestioned supreme bloodlimit for ninjas, since it allows information gathering through walls, across impossible distances, and in situations almost impossible to guard from, Cloud wants it for its power. But at the same time, it's frustrated their efforts to steal it so many times they continue to try for it just to prove it can be done. They almost succeeded once, with the kidnapping of Hinata Hyuga, but it was fortunately thwarted by the combined efforts of her father and uncle. It is extremely fortunate for Hinata that she was not kidnapped, as she would have been bound for an unhappy life of medical experiments, blindness after they cut out her eyes for study, and continuous breeding to create as many Hyuga babies as possible before she died under the strain.

Cloud's interest in strange techniques for making more powerful ninja extends even to the tailed beasts. Cloud has hunted down and sealed two of the fearsome demons into human hosts, the Nibi nekomata (Yugito), and the Hachibi Pantyhose Taro (Killerbee). Both were born and had their demons sealed into them before the Kyubi attacked Konoha. Both Cloud, as well as Sarutobi, ponder the question: is the greatest of all the tailed beasts greater than the second weakest and the second strongest working together? Do ten total tails beat nine?

Cloud has its own Legendary Ninja, the Three Storms. (Big Trouble in Little China reference)

Konoha ninja and Cloud ninja who meet, on a mission or not, almost always fight to the death. Less powerful ninja on either side will usually run from the other if possible, but neither side is likely to let easy prey get away without a fight, and if there is even the slightest hint of an even match, the reward in personal prestige for killing one of the enemy is considerable enough to tempt even less aggressive ninja into battle. Hyuga do not willingly let Cloud ninja go free. Ever. Cloud ninja kill or capture every Konoha ninja possible, and if the Konoha ninja proves to not have a bloodlimit, he or she might still have knowledge that careful interrogation and torture might reveal. The same goes for captured Cloud ninja in Konoha. Morino Ibiki has quite the reputation among the very few Cloud ninja ransomed back, and is the source of many nightmares for young and old ninja alike.

Mist is crazy. There's something in the water out there, and it's a Kiri nin. They get strange out in the islands. All those statements and more have been said about the vicious, violent ninja from the village hidden in the Mist. Mist ninja are not actually crazy, but they are difficult to predict. Mist was home to a number of extremely powerful bloodlimits until about thirty years ago, when they started purging them under the pretense of disloyalty. While some of them were certainly disloyal, and the rest followed after they started being exterminated, the true reason behind the purges has never been leaked. Mist rarely comes in direct conflict with other countries as a whole, though Mist ninja take contracts everywhere. Their last war was short and brutal and fought against Cloud over some trading rights. Mist won. Mist was the last village to be considered one of the great ninja villages. The current Mizukage simply started referring to himself as the Mizukage. No one outside of Mist argued, and all the people inside Mist who argued died.

Most Konoha ninja would rather die than be captured by a Mist ninja, and Mist ninja are known to attack Konoha ninja vastly more powerful than themselves just on the off chance they might win. At first, when no one expected it, they sometimes won. Now, everyone expects Mist ninja to attack without provocation. Konoha ninja with bloodlimits are usually killed rather than captured by Mist ninja. Most non bloodlimit carriers from Konoha are killed or captured and sent back in little pieces. However, every now and then, Mist will let a captive go, and they always come back with confusing tales of two week long drunken benders, strange interrogations they can't really remember, willing comfort girls, and a deep and abiding impression of the hidden beauty of the Water Country's cities. In some ways, being released is worse, and it's generally considered just another way Mist is vicious and cruel. Some people have noticed that the freed captives are never from any of Konoha's noble clans, and many speculate as to why.

It's always something of a surprise when Mist ninja don't attack, and they don't always. Sometimes, even on a mission, even against weaker opponents, a Mist ninja will simply melt away and disappear rather than contest the mission. Sometimes they slaughter everyone involved. No one outside of Mist, and even most Mist ninja, don't know why. Their Mizukage is very secretive and information is kept compartmentalized. Mist ninja follow their orders, and the best of them might get that highest of compliments from the Mizukage. "You're a good boy."

Mist is known for its Seven Swordsmen, though at some point every single one of them was declared missing nin, and most are dead. Most, but not all. And not all that is missing stays lost.

Sound does not exist.

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The mythology:

AKA the nature and power of the tailed beasts.

Short answer, no one knows.

Long answer, no one knows, oh shit we're all going to die.

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Monsters:

Monsters exist. There are a great many varieties, but usually not many of each individual type. Mist ninja go to sleep with tales of sea monsters in their ears. Cloud and Stone ninja fight or ally with tengu. Strange manlike beings made of scorpions and spiders have been encountered in the desert around Sand. Konoha had the Kyubi, and that's fear enough for them.

Sometimes, ninjas get hired to kill the monsters. Sometimes, it's not that difficult. Sometimes ninja come back insane and covered in sucker marks that ooze pus. Sometimes they don't come back. And sometimes they come back, and everyone wishes they hadn't, because the only thing more terrible than someone going missing without a trace is finding out what actually happened.

Sometimes, alliances are struck with the monsters. Most summon contracts are started that way.

One thing is clear, though. The tailed beasts are greater than any monster, and may control or command one or more types. Only something under the command of another tailed beast will attack a jinchuriki, and even then they always lose. Jinchuriki make invaluable additions to any village, as very little will willingly invade the territory of a demon god.

Of course, that still leaves the jinchuriki itself, and if the tailed beasts are greater than any monster, jinchuriki are greater than any human.

Mostly.

xxxxxxxxx

The characters:

Naruto Uzumaki (beginning of People Lie arc)

Taijutsu: high genin

Ninjutsu: low chunin

Ninja tools (blades, wire, traps): mid chunin

Genjutsu: low chunin (specialty in torture genjutsu learned from Ibiki)

Chakra: effectively infinite, at any given moment about three times that of an elite jounin, but he recovers in moments.

Kyubi power: increased healing, limits unknown, dreams of power and grandeur

Kyubi power drawback: hated by most of the village (either that, or he's just a vicious little bastard no one likes)

Actual danger level in ninja rank: B, (S because of the Kyubi)

Personality: charismatic sociopath

Flaw: he's faking it

Mental disorders: control freak, avoidant, compulsive liar, unforgiving

Favorite technique: lying to people (actually, henge)

Quote: "People lie."

Likes: reading, training, cleaning, bonsai, blades, hurting people, Ibiki, Sarutobi, Anko

Dislikes: everyone else

Concept: Naruto needed to have some identifiable traits from canon, so his empathy and understanding of people is always foremost in my mind when writing him. He sees through lies and false fronts better than anyone, though he lacks the experience of someone like Kakashi. But unlike canon, he's 'a deeply damaged child flailing with a razorblade' (a misquote from Dusttraveler). His trauma and fears have made him turn that gift of understanding and compassion into something tragically evil. He trusts no one, not even Ibiki, and is scared of letting anyone close. Only Hinata manages it, because Hinata is so weak he can control every aspect of her, and that makes him comfortable enough to open up.

Hinata Hyuga (beginning of People Lie)

Taijutsu: high genin

Ninjutsu: low genin

Ninja tools: low genin

Genjutsu: nonexistent, though vision based genjutsu don't work on her and she can break others

Chakra: average genin

Actual danger level in ninja rank: D

Personality: Wilting Wallflower

Flaw: she's not faking it

Mental disorders: low self esteem, anxiety, fearfulness, weak will

Favorite technique: byakugan stalker vision

Quote: "I w-want to be like you, I want to TRY like you, but I can't!"

Likes: flowers, peaceful days, watching Naruto

Dislikes: feeling miserable, failing, disappointing her family

Concept: Sad as it is to say, I only used Hinata in this story because of Naruto. She literally has no meaning outside of him. I generally support canon pairings, but honestly, Sakura would not work for this story. She's devoted and easily manipulated, yes, but only by Sasuke, and while I could have swapped that to Naruto, I would have needed a reason. Hinata was just easier, and she snapped onto Naruto like a fixture. I really liked how their relationship turned out. Yes, he's cruel and abusive at first, you're not SUPPOSED to like or approve of that. And like a number of abused girlfriends I've seen, she becomes all the more attached to him. Hinata saw something in him that she knew she could love, and she did everything it took to bring it out.

And she succeeded. But at what cost to herself?

Sasuke Uchiha (beginning of Clients Lie arc)

Taijutsu: mid chunin

Ninjutsu: mid chunin

Ninja tools: mid chunin

Genjutsu: high genin

Chakra: mid chunin

Actual danger level in ninja rank: C

Personality: Aristocrat amongst winos

Flaw: self absorbed

Mental disorders: avoidant, clinical detachment, revenge obsessed, narcissistic

Favorite technique: grand fireball

Quote: "Hn."

Likes: tomatoes, being left alone, training

Dislikes: people, Itachi

Concept: A lot of people hate canon Sasuke. He betrayed Naruto, he's an asshole, he's too powerful, he'll do anything for power, the manga focuses on him too much, etc etc etc. My biggest problem with him is that, honestly, I think he could have been a much more intriguing character. Of course, I'm American. The attitudes are different. But at any rate, I decided to use Sasuke in a way I would find entertaining.

In other words, just as much of an asshole as canon, but funnier and doesn't overshadow Naruto.

I did my best to keep his spoken dialogue down to a minimum, and close to canon, but I knew if I did that in the third person POV, no one would notice him. So, as a way of getting you, the readers, into his head, I went first person. And first person HAS to have narrative. So, because I have kind of a similar way of looking at the world around me, (easier to write what you know), I gave him a kind of dry observational tone. Then I made it all about him, because he's pretty self absorbed. I also did my absolute best to make some key scenes with him funny, just to kind of mitigate some of the hate. Hard to hate someone who makes you laugh. It's not that I care if you like the character or not, it's just that some aspects of the story are harder to convey properly if the readers are actively wishing the shoggoth would swallow him and not spit him out.

Naruto Uzumaki/Kyubi (current)

Taijutsu: mid chunin

Ninjutsu: high chunin (plus kage bunshin and the super henge, both unique to Naruto)

Ninja tools: mid chunin

Genjutsu: low chunin

Chakra: effectively infinite, approx 10 times that of an elite jounin at any given moment

Kyubi power: the Kyubi itself, increased healing, limit unknown, chakra arms of doom, **can speak in bold letters**, can share his power, blood sacrifice from his followers boosts his chakra and healing to incredible levels, visions of grandeur, natural shape shifter, especially into a female (like most kitsune)

Kyubi power drawback: Kyubi's personality slowly bleeds into his own when he draws on its power, and his decisions become less about what's good for Naruto and his friends and more about what's good for Kyubi.

Actual danger level in ninja rank: S when working with his team, though how much is just because of the Kyubi is unknown

Personality: charismatic evil overlord wannabe/ancient demon god of wonder and horror

Flaw: control freak with more to worry about and more consequences for any mistakes/ancient demon god of wonder and horror

Mental disorders: can only express his insecurities when female, growing codependence on his team, us vs. them mentality/believes himself to be an ancient demon god of wonder and horror

Favorite technique: kill you no jutsu, mindfuck you no jutsu, protect my team no jutsu (actually kage bunshin, henge, and kawarimi used over and over)

Quote: "This is blood and power, blood _for_ power, and it will give you things you never thought possible."

Likes: Hinata, Sasuke, …feeling pretty

Dislikes: people who hurt Hinata or Sasuke, freaking elite jounin mind games, when Sasuke one ups him with a witty comment, Lee

Concept: He's better. He's a lot better. He really does care for Hinata, and Sasuke really is his friend. He trusts Sasuke's skill and intelligence. He trusts Hinata's instinct and will. He no longer has the childish urge to test Hinata by being mean to her. He no longer resents Sasuke. He's honestly a lot better person. Despite going mostly down the evil overlord path, gathering minions around him, he's not actually evil. Indeed he even tries to help people, like Tenten, without asking a for a direct benefit in return. He could be a decent person one day. Maybe. If everything goes right.

But he's still got a long way to go. Now that he's realized how much they mean to him, especially Hinata, he worries about losing them, either in combat or out. His relationship with Hinata is based on her trusting in him absolutely, but now they're so close he can't hide his weaknesses from her. It scares him that one day, she will leave him. Only Sasuke, by pure chance, got close enough to see Naruto at his weakest, henged into Naruko, huddled in the corner of her apartment crying. And Sasuke didn't use it to hurt him. Naruto is so pathetically grateful that he'd do anything for Sasuke, just because of that one moment, and so his mind turns to plans to help Sasuke kill his brother.

However, Sasuke is Naruto's mental support, the genius who helps him plan. Hinata is Naruto's personal support he should turn to with his doubts. And as Hinata deals more and more with her family, he feels as if he's losing her little by little.

And if things weren't complicated enough, the Kyubi rears its ugly head. No power comes without a price.

Hinata Hyuga (present)

Taijutsu: high chunin

Ninjutsu: mid chunin

Ninja tools: high genin

Genjutsu: nonexistent, though none of it works on her anymore

Chakra: mid chunin regularly, elite jounin after a blood summon, refreshable

Kyubi power: extra chakra, faster healing, faster reflexes, more chakra control, affinity for shape shifting (can use Naruto's super henge) Shin'engan (abyssal eyes)

Kyubi power drawback: permanently activated byakugan, extra viciousness and killing intent

Shin'engan: Naruto's blood mixed with Kyubi's power and ichor from the shoggoth did something very strange to her already strange white eyes, turning them black whenever she has the Kyubi's chakra in her. Grants the power to literally see anything. Full 360 degrees vision, (something no other Hyuga has), the ability to see through dimensions, and even the ability to see through seals deliberately made to stop a Hyuga's bloodlimit. Also grants her the tendency to notice the flaws in physical objects, which can be broken with a precise juken strike. (Bakusai tenketsu, Ryoga from Ranma 1/2 reference)

Actual danger level in ninja rank: A when working with her team

Personality: yandere

Flaw: only Naruto matters (…and Sasuke, she guesses)

Mental disorders: codependence on Naruto, maybe a little too ruthless

Favorite technique: 64 palms

Quote: "I'm never alone now. Never helpless."

Likes: Naruto, Naruto's touches, Naruto's looks, Naruto's attention, Naruto's smell, Naruto's chakra, …Sasuke, or at least watching Sasuke get molested by headpigeons

Dislikes: Anything that hurts or threatens Naruto, being made to look stupid by Neji, Cloud ninja, bunny rabbits

Concept: Naruto's high priestess. She gave everything up for him, and he gave her everything she asked for in return. Hinata is useful now, and honestly a little scary. Naruto is more powerful, Sasuke is more skilled, Hinata does not stop. Ever. (also a quote from someone in the comments, but I can't find who. Sorry.)

Hinata has no limits.

And that's her biggest problem. By living only for Naruto, she severely limits herself as a person. But Naruto is her lord, her leader, her love, and literally her god. Hinata would do anything for him. But recently, he hasn't been asking. As he becomes closer and closer friends with Sasuke, she's started missing the times when it was just him and her. Yes, Sasuke is necessary, and she's glad he's on their side, but she still resents him just a little. So she throws herself even more into becoming heir to her family, so she can use her family's power and influence to advance Naruto's goals.

But that's not to say that Hinata doesn't have a few ideas of her own. A good subordinate should know when to use her own initiative and not bother her leader over every trifling little detail.

Sasuke Uchiha (present)

Taijutsu: jounin

Ninjutsu: jounin

Ninja tools: jounin

Genjutsu: unknown

Chakra: high chunin regularly, elite jounin after a blood summon, refreshable

Kyubi power: extra chakra, faster healing, faster reflexes, more chakra control, affinity for shape shifting (can use Naruto's super henge) White Sharingan, happiness

Kyubi power drawback: permanently activated sharingan, bleeding eyes

White Sharingan: ? Although at first he thought it gave him powers similar to Hinata's, since Naruto still had Hinata's blood on his teeth when he bit Sasuke, enabling him to see chakra, lately he's been wondering what it really does, and how he can find out.

Actual danger level in ninja rank: A when fighting with his team

Personality: the perfect ninja (jerk)

Flaw: Too perfect. (he is an asshole)

Mental disorder: voyeur, codependence on Naruto, power hungry

Favorite technique: Steal YOUR techniques no jutsu! (fire techniques)

Quote: "Hn." -tits-

Likes: power, feeling powerful, gaining more power, stealing techniques, breasts, Naruto, I did mention power?, being an asshole to people, being better than people, tomatoes, snakes, Hinata …'s breasts

Dislikes: being knocked out with one blow, losing, not knowing how to handle a situation, not knowing what his power is, headpigeons, Itachi

Concept: This is what I wanted Sasuke to be all along. Part of a comedy duo with Naruto, where they play off each other's comments and jokes, and constantly try to one up each other. I love comedy duos. Other than being more talkative and friendlier with Naruto, he's still the power obsessed asshole he was in canon. The difference is, in People Lie, Naruto knows, and LIKES that aspect of him. He exploited it by offering him power. Sasuke likes power, and will do anything for it. He'd even betray the village for it.

But Naruto gave him more than power, he also offered him friendship. He's not likely to beat a deal like that anywhere else, so he'll stick around. His loyalty is to Naruto and Hinata first, not Konoha.

He really is a bastard. But he's a magnificent bastard. He's got the skills, the power, and the potential. He knows it. That's what makes him so damned insufferable. But he's funny and he's useful and he's Naruto's best friend.

And, surprisingly, he's happy that way. It kind of makes him wonder. The Kyubi gives people what they want most. Hinata wanted most to be useful to Naruto, so she got awesome abilities. Sasuke wanted power, and he got power, but at the same time, he sure is happy since he woke up in the hospital. He's laughing, joking, staring at girl's breasts…

What did he want most in the world?

Morino Ibiki

Taijutsu: unknown

Ninjutsu: unknown

Ninja tools: unknown

Genjutsu: unknown, but probably quite skilled

Chakra: unknown

B rank Special Jounin

Personality: sadistic sociopath

Flaw: enjoys his job a little too much

Mental disorder: likes hurting people, can't really relate to people

Favorite technique: torture genjutsu

Quote: "Yes, I'm still a special jounin. They're just fucking me on the pay."

Likes: Hurting people, breakfast cereals

Dislikes: people who give up and tell him everything he wants to know in five minutes, raisins

Concept: Ibiki is a sadist. Pure and simple. I've seen fics with him characterized as a reluctant torturer, doing it only for the good of Konoha. I've seen fics where he took obvious pleasure in his work. I like the latter interpretation best. I honestly like the idea that Konoha employs people that are actually that horrible.

I also wanted to give Naruto a father figure that was actually worse than if he'd been raised by himself. But I couldn't imagine why Ibiki would take Naruto as an apprentice, so I came up with the attack on Naruto, and things kinda snowballed from there as I extrapolated events on top of events. I'm never quite sure where the story is going because I spend a lot of time thinking about each step and I rarely get very far ahead. Things happen that I don't see coming. It's just how I write, because without that anticipation of what's going to happen next, I honestly have little inspiration.

People Lie all started with Ibiki. And though he doesn't show up much, he's a huge influence.

The idea is, Ibiki knows what makes a good ninja. He knows how to recognize all the traits of self sacrifice, loyalty, intelligence, and power that make the best ninjas. He took the opportunity with Naruto to try and create the perfect ninja. Not the perfect weapon, for that ignores the human element, but the perfect ninja. After all, it's not like its without precedent. Konoha has been breeding ninjas for generations.

But you can't give someone what you don't have. And Ibiki, while mitigating some of the aftereffects of Naruto's abuse, accidentally caused more. Naruto needed someone to look up to, and he needed compassion, but there was no true compassion in Ibiki's actions, and Naruto was able to see that. That's a horrible thing for a child to go through.

Right now, Ibiki is Naruto's boogeyman. He fears nothing and no one as much as he does Ibiki.

Kakashi Hatake

Taijutsu: elite jounin

Ninjutsu: elite jounin

Ninja tools: elite jounin

Genjutsu: elite jounin plus sharingan techniques

Chakra: elite jounin

S rank Elite Jounin

Personality: lone ninja

Flaw: doesn't realize he needs people

Mental disorder: avoidant

Favorite technique: Raikiri

Quote: "I would do anything to protect Konoha. That's where I keep all my stuff."

Likes: pornography, messing with people

Dislikes: being predictable, chakra exhaustion

Concept: Kakashi is the ninja, bad and good, and you have to take the bad with the good. He's the perfect teacher for Team Lie, since they're all as broken and sociopathic as he was at that age. He understands them. He understands how to make them useful to Konoha. And he also understands that the way to handle them is not to be their friend, it's to be their commander.

A scary commander who will destroy any one of them if they should dare to cross him.

It's a good thing they believe him, because he's not lying.

Now, I wanted him to be fairly distant, because I wanted the focus to be on Naruto, Hinata and Sasuke. But at the same time I like his character. So I keep him distant and vaguely badass. He's a ninja. You don't really get to see most of his moments of badassery.

Originally, I didn't put in the bell test because, one, I didn't have any clever ideas for it, and two, the original version is overdone. Seriously. It's in like every AU, almost word for word. So I made it all vague and stuff so I didn't have to deal with it at the time. Later on, I met and got to talking to Dusttraveler, whose helped me a lot with story ideas, and is secretly working on a side story to People Lie covering Kakashi's antics. (Shh, don't tell anyone.)

This is a much compressed retelling of his inspiration for the People Lie bell test.

Although the decision to take them on as students was actually an order by the Hokage, whatever they did, Kakashi did give them the bell test.

But the part with the two bells was only the first part. It wasn't exactly secret information. He'd failed other genin teams before. Naruto, being prudent, asked around and found out what the test would be.

That was the real test. Proactive information gathering.

Naruto didn't know that, and went to the training field confident of success. After all, he already knew how to pass. Unfortunately, Kakashi had been watching, waiting to see if any of them would make the effort to learn what to expect from him. He was rather pleased that Naruto had, so he moved on to the next part.

It didn't involve two bells and two lunches.

It did involve hitting Sasuke with a genjutsu that made him believe he was fighting Itachi, and losing badly. It also involved hitting Naruto with a genjutsu that made him believe Hinata had turned on him. Hinata, being immune to eye genjutsu, had to face Naruto in real life as he turned and attacked her.

Seeing them fall to personal demons, Kakashi shrugged and left.

It was horrible, it was traumatic, and it nearly destroyed every one of them. Naruto, despite honestly and sincerely believing Hinata had betrayed him, didn't kill her, even though she would have let him. Instead he just gave up and sat down in misery. Hinata realized he was under a genjutsu and broke the technique by closing off his tenketsu. Once he realized what had really happened, together, they were able to intercept Sasuke and break him out of his own nightmare.

Then they all collapsed into private, personal hells, each one going home feeling like a failure.

Only Naruto, badly shaken and crying, searched out Kakashi at the Memorial stone to demand why.

And Kakashi told him. And he also told him it was the only freebie he'd ever get.

Naruto never again asked Kakashi for a plain explanation. And even though there's a mutual understanding on all sides that Kakashi _will _occasionally use his powers for evil, Naruto, Hinata, and Sasuke trust in Kakashi as a commander. They don't question his orders and they don't argue with his faults. He is, after all, the elite jounin, second most powerful ninja in Konoha.

Kakashi is currently on a mission of such dire importance to Konoha's future, that if he fails it will shake the very foundation on which Konoha stands.

He will also return with fresh porn and a large expense report.

Maito Gai

Taijutsu: elite jounin

Ninjutsu: elite jounin

Ninja tools: elite jounin

Genjutsu: elite jounin

Chakra: elite jounin

S rank Elite Jounin

Personality: motivational speaker

Flaw: acts like a gym coach

Mental disorder: wears a green spandex jumpsuit

Favorite technique: Explosion of Youth!

Quote: "So, my youthful ones, I tell you, grow up, and be farmers of men."

Likes: youth, potential, training, his students

Dislikes: people who hurt his students, being called a pedophile

Concept: Gai is a good man. That's why he's so irritating. He's perfect in almost every way. He's a nice guy. He's honorable. But he's also not a sucker. And he'll kill in a heartbeat if needed. He doesn't let it bother him. But neither will he kill someone just because it would make his life easier.

Gai is the impossible man. He wades through the horror, the blood, and the filth of the world and somehow emerges without so much as a smudge on his green jumpsuit. He's intelligent, though he'll act silly at the drop of a hat. He never takes himself seriously, but he is attentive and flattering to others. Some people dismiss him as crazy. Other people worry that he's actually playing some sort of elaborate joke on everyone.

People think he looks stupid with his green suit and his hair. He fucks like a god and doesn't have to search very far for partners.

When he took Lee on as a student, he swore he would never use ninjutsu or genjutsu in combat again to show solidarity with his student who would never be able to use either anyway. Nevertheless, he can kill anyone alive if he opens the last celestial gate, and almost anyone at just seven gates, including S ranked ninja like Itachi or Kisame.

Kakashi can't decide whether or not he hates the guy or is in awe of him. Gai just laughs and calls him a friend.

Gai's biggest weakness, if it can be called such, is children. As much as he tries to prepare them for the horrors of the world, he also tries to shield them at the same time. And he didn't recognize in time that the horrors Naruto, Hinata, and Sasuke had already been exposed to had already ended their childhoods. To Gai, there is no greater crime.

Sasuke Sarutobi

Taijutsu: legendary

Ninjutsu: the best. period.

Ninja tools: legendary

Genjutsu: legendary

Chakra: legendary

S rank Legendary Hokage

Personality: leader

Flaw: will die eventually

Mental disorder: none, he's actually completely sane. Yes, he's that bad ass.

Favorite technique: Viagra no jutsu!

Quote: "Go. Go beg the forgiveness of your teammates. Treat them as if they were the most valuable things in the world. I will send for you when I decide to see you again. Until then, I don't want you in my sight. _Dis_missed."

Likes: happy, healthy ninja and citizens, good tobacco, and pretty girls

Dislikes: threats to Konoha, sending people to die, being the Hokage twice, pirates

Concept: Basically canon Sarutobi, but a little grimmer, and a little less willing to tolerate Naruto's antics. Of course, since Naruto's antics are altogether grimmer this time around, it's not completely out of the ordinary.

He's the freaking God of Shinobi. You don't get a title like that without being badass on a level even the badasses are in awe of. Decades of experience. Over a dozen wars and countless minor conflicts. Not once has Konoha ever lost, and there were only two stalemates. Youngest person to be made Hokage ever. Oldest person to retire from being Hokage ever. Oldest person to be made Hokage ever. Only person to be Hokage twice.

The only problem is, he's old. Long past his prime. And he will die.

Sarutobi is a man juggling honor, responsibility, and necessity all at once. Naruto is his greatest hope and his greatest fear.

It's no real surprise to him that every single one of the genin born close to Naruto's birth are proving to be exceptional, and a disproportionally large number of them are more exceptional than ever seen. Genin graduating the academy with chunin level skills isn't unheard of, but Naruto's class produced nine.

_Nine. _ Cloud, the ninja village that first noticed the phenomenon, didn't get but four after the sealing of the Hachibi, and two after they stole the Nibi. Sand got one each generation they sealed the Ichibi into, since the Ichibi had been awake and active longer than any other tailed beast.

Konoha got nine. Sarutobi doubted it was a coincidence. Plus the slightly older generation and the younger ones looked like they were producing a large number of especially promising shinobi as well.

Naruto was going to be a power in the world, and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it. But he had to be guided, influenced, taught to be loyal and generous and kind, to be the perfect Konoha shinobi.

In retrospect, maybe Ibiki hadn't been such a good idea.

But still. It was no coincidence Hinata was placed on Naruto's team. He was obviously fond of the girl, and keeping him happy, as galling as the idea was, was necessary. Sasuke Uchiha was an obvious choice, since he was deliberately building a team which would become legends. Kakashi made the perfect teacher, though he griped. And despite a few hiccups here and there, he's rather pleased by Naruto and his team. He does wish Naruto would stop throwing the Kyubi's power around whenever he wants, but honestly, he's not sure if Naruto can stop. Either way, he doesn't dare take official notice of it, otherwise hell have to do something about it, and doing something about it is probably not the best idea in the world.

The stars move in their endless paths, and after winter comes spring, and after spring summer. The legends say the tailed beasts will rise in power once more, and after witnessing the failure of Death itself to take the beast, he's inclined to believe the myths.

One question still nags him, though. Why was Hiashi Hyuga so amenable to the idea of placing his daughter on a team with Naruto?

Hiashi Hyuga

Taijutsu: elite jounin

Ninjutsu: jounin

Ninja tools: jounin

Genjutsu: nonexistent, plus the usual Hyuga immunities

Chakra: jounin

A rank Hyuga clan leader

Personality: stern father

Flaw: a little too stern

Mental disorder: unknown, though he probably has SOMETHING

Favorite technique: all the clan techniques

Quote: "While I appreciate your cleverness in sneaking in to see my daughter, no visits after ten at night means no visits after ten at night. Yuyake, Teigo, give Uzumaki-san three minutes, then administer a stern warning. I suggest you use that time to run, Naruto-kun."

Likes: his daughters to be happy, his family to be happy, dead Cloud ninja

Dislikes: his daughters to be unhappy, his family to be unhappy, live Cloud ninja

Concept: I'd really honestly planned to make Hiashi a bastard only concerned with what's good for the clan, and who had effectively disowned Hinata.

In another case of humorous comments getting the better of me, he turned out to be a better father than I'd given him credit for. He does genuinely love his daughters, and dotes on them in his own special way. Honestly, one of them should have been sealed by now.

The whole main family oppression of the branch is also entirely blown out of proportion. At this point, there are exactly four main family members. Hanabi, Hinata, Hiashi, and Hiashi's father, the former clan leader. Since Hiashi's own brother was sealed, apparently, if you're not the leader, a former leader, or the future leader, you get sealed. This mythical group of asshole main family members is pure fanon, and it's not even particularly entertaining fanon to me.

However, I absolutely love the idea of Neji blowing it all out of proportion, because that makes his character more interesting to me. I like flawed characters. But you've probably realized that by now, heh.

Another issue is the branch family seal. Its designed to stop enemies, such as Cloud nin, from learning the secrets of the byakugan. Cut out an eye, it goes dead. If the Hyuga dies, the bloodlimit goes dead. But there's a weakness. Children aren't born with the seal. Everyone has to have it applied some years after birth. So, theoretically, a captured Hyuga could be forced to bear or father children that would have the unsealed byakugan. Fortunately, the Hyuga seal masters thought of that as well, and there are secret techniques known only to the Hyuga elders that are required for a branch member, male or female, to become fertile. No Hyuga children are born without permission. Cloud is foiled once again, but they still keep trying. A Hyuga will always fight to the death against Cloud ninja, and will usually go out of their way to kill them if at all possible. The hatred runs deep.

Hiashi noticed Hinata's growth, despite her best efforts to conceal it, and while he was slightly hurt by her attempt at duplicity, he also couldn't argue with her intentions, her motivations, or her results. So he let it go. And he watched. And he secretly cheered at her successes, and secretly wondered if he could get away with castrating Naruto when he saw them making out. Fortunately, he never caught Naruto being mean to her.

Fortunately for Naruto, that is.

Even with the byakugan he couldn't watch her every minute of every day. And it's plain she's devoted to him. And she's happy with him. And she's incredibly powerful because of him.

Hiashi doesn't like Naruto, but that's because he's dating Hinata. As potential husbands go, he supposes Hinata could do worse.

The ancient demon god of wonder and horror is scary, but also kind of sweetens the deal. The Hyuga are, after all, gatherers of secrets, and their clan library is unrivaled since the death of the Uchiha. Hiashi knows a few things about winter, spring, and summer as well.

Neji Hyuga

Taijutsu: high chunin

Ninjutsu: mid chunin

Ninja tools: low chunin

Genjutsu: nonexistent, plus the usual Hyuga immunities

Chakra: mid chunin regularly, elite jounin after a blood summon, refreshable

Kyubi power: extra chakra, faster healing, faster reflexes, more chakra control, can see ghosts of the past with the Iwakugan (history/past/story eyes)

Kyubi power drawback: permanently activated byakugan (inconvenienced him approx. 1 minute)

Iwakugan gives Neji the ability to see into the past when he has the Kyubi's chakra. In practice, it's a lot like being surrounded by faint ghosts, though he can focus on them to see them more clearly. It relies on echoes of the things that happen to people or objects, so he needs to look at something to start, and he can follow it some distance into its past. With objects that haven't moved, he can see a long way into the past, though it's not very interesting since, by definition, the object hasn't done anything. With objects or people, he can follow them for a ways and see the other people and objects they've interacted with. However, he's limited to one degree of separation. He can look at a kunai stuck into a tree and follow it back to the person who threw it, but he can't see where they went after they threw the knife, nor anyone they were with or anyone they were fighting. So far, it's been something of a disappointment. The past is really big, and when you get down to it, not much really happened of note. He wanted the ability to see into the future, to know destiny, and was rather surprised to find out that destiny doesn't exist, since the choices that make the future haven't been made yet.

Personality: tragic genius

Flaw: drama queen

Mental disorder: obsessive compulsive (hair must be perfect)

Favorite technique: 128 palms

Quote: "The past was… boring."

Likes: poppy seed cakes, being a genius, expensive shampoos and conditioners

Dislikes: not having parents, being oppressed by his inferiors, Cloud ninja, Lee's rants, split ends

Concept: He's Neji. He was an asshole before and during the Chunin Exams, then he got a lot better. He's also a freaking genius, as evidenced by solving the problem of the permanently activated byakugan in less than a minute. Too powerful and skilled to dismiss, too much of a jerk to really like, at least until he starts acting better.

Whether he'll start acting better is still up in the air, but he will be treating Hinata and Naruto with more respect. You don't need the byakugan to see the writing on the wall.

The hair thing is, admittedly, a cheap gag, and I could do better, but I run out of humor points if I spread them too thin.

Sakura Haruno (after she gets marked, and yes she's next)

Taijutsu: mid genin

Ninjutsu: mid genin

Ninja tools: low chunin

Genjutsu: mid chunin

Chakra: low chunin regularly, jounin after a blood summon, refreshable

Kyubi power: extra chakra, faster healing, faster reflexes, increased strength, Inner Sakura

Kyubi power drawback: when using the Kyubi's chakra, Inner Sakura becomes dominant. She has almost no self control and a violent streak a mile wide

Inner Sakura: Inner Sakura is a bitch. She's loud and obnoxious, not at all afraid to speak her mind, and tends to punch first and ask questions later. She's also got the kind of ridiculous over the top strength that Sakura got from Tsunade in canon. Unfortunately, in People Lie, punching someone hard enough to send them through a stone wall doesn't leave them buried in rubble with little swirlies in their eyes. It actually tends to make them explode like a grape squished between two fingers. Fortunately, she has just enough control to not actually kill her friends, and that's only because writing the bloody death of Kiba isn't where I want to go with this story, heh.

Personality: nerd girl/psycho bitch

Flaw: indecisive and shy/no impulse control and too aggressive

Mental disorder: multiple personalities

Favorite technique: Sly Mind Effect (genjutsu)/INNER SAKURA PUNCH!

Quote: "A pigeon has to roost, right? I found his roost. Caught him off guard."/ "SHANNARO!"

Likes: Sasuke, books, Kurenai, her teammates, …Ino

Dislikes: losing to Ino, being turned down by Sasuke, Shino's creepy crawlies, Kiba's smell, Kiba's comments, being useless

Concept: I'd always intended for Sakura to be a main character, though something of an odd man out for the group. She's drawn to Team Seven, and not just because of Sasuke. Plus, she's a main character in canon. I didn't want to just bump her out of the way and dismiss her.

But, so far the story is moving slowly enough that she hasn't done much really interesting other than kill the pigeon. I honestly foresee animal cruelty as being part of her makeup from here on out. That and berserker barbarian rages.

In People Lie, however, she never got Inner Sakura until she gets marked. Without the positive influence and self esteem boost of Naruto constantly telling her how great she was and how much he loved her, her personality was based completely off of Ino and her crush on Sasuke. But, just like in canon, there is a connection between her and Naruto that neither is completely aware of yet. Sakura was the pink haired little girl that Naruto inadvertently rescued from the man when they were both young. Naruto, in his innocent wish to make friends with her, interrupted the stranger as he was talking to her, and delayed him long enough for Sakura's mother to come get her.

Then the man took Naruto instead. Sakura doesn't know, Naruto doesn't remember.

And there's also a spark, a fire to Sakura, if small in PL, that Naruto finds attractive. He's a reasonable person, so he reasons things, but really he wants Sasuke to date her just to keep her around.

Oddly, Sakura fills the genius role on Team 8, mirroring that of Sasuke and Neji, though not completely. She's not a genius fighter, but on a tracking and investigation team like Kurenai's, her book knowledge is invaluable. Kurenai has also been teaching her genjutsu, which she finds easy and rewarding. Inner Sakura, however, is as brutal and unsubtle as a brick to the face, though very, very effective.

Ino Yamanaka

Taijutsu: low chunin

Ninjutsu: high genin (family techniques)

Ninja tools: mid genin

Genjutsu: high genin

Chakra: high genin

Personality: pretty, popular girl with everything going right

Flaw: vain

Mental disorder: none, she's as perfectly normal as you can get for a kunoichi that can possess people

Favorite technique: Shintensen

Quote: "OMG!"

Likes: herself, Shikamaru, Chouji, Sasuke, Sakura, flowers, Asuma, nice clothes, boys, being popular

Dislikes: being turned down for dates, Hinata

Concept: Basically, I needed a named girl for Hinata to fight in chapter two. I didn't want to use Sakura. Tenten wasn't around. Ami is too obscure. Ino got the part by default.

Since then, although Hinata has become her feared nemesis, Ino is still just this uninteresting loud blonde girl to Hinata. I like Ino, but it's more fun to have Hinata mess with her without even seriously trying.

Overall, though, Ino is a normal girl. She comes off a little dim, because she's never actually around for events and no one will tell her what really happened. (This happens to me a lot in real life, people like talking about stuff I have no idea about and won't tell me what actually happens. Thus, I learned to do the same in return.) Really, she's not stupid, but she doesn't have the raw intelligence of Shikamaru or the crafty planning of Naruto. As a fighter, she's not bad, better at taijutsu than canon. Her 'win' against Hinata in early People Lie perked her up and made her take taijutsu and training seriously.

Also, she's actually about as close to being the 'leader' as anyone on Team 10 gets. Shikamaru is the genius, and planning and tactics get delegated to him, but he's also lazy. Chouji is the empathetic one, the rock that the others rely on. Ino is the drive and determination, and as such she ends up making all the non-tactical decisions. Still, she knows what she's good at and what she's not, so Shikamaru is the guy who makes battle plans.

Poor Ino. Being 'normal' in this story doesn't mean you get to miss out on the messed up antics, it just makes you woefully ill-equipped to deal with them.

Rock Lee

Taijutsu: jounin (plus gate techniques)

Ninjutsu: nonexistent

Ninja tools: mid chunin

Genjutsu: nonexistent

Chakra: high chunin, but can only use it for enhancing taijutsu

Personality: zealot

Flaw: prefers using his muscles to his brain

Mental disorder: a little too fervent

Favorite technique: Primary Lotus

Quote: "Fuck you no jutsu!"

Likes: Gai, training, Tenten, Neji, proving himself, being a ninja

Dislikes: being told he can't do something, Naruto

Concept: The anti-Naruto. Since Sasuke is his friend, but not his rival, I needed someone for Naruto to dislike. Lee fit the bill perfectly.

Now, I like Lee, he's pretty entertaining, though his parroting of Gai's words gets kinda old. But Naruto being mean to him serves its purpose. Lee is exactly like Naruto, and exactly the opposite of Naruto, and Naruto knows that. Both have their disadvantages. Both turned their disadvantages into strengths. Both are empathetic. But where Naruto decided to become a bastard who turned his abilities into weapons, Lee decided to become a nice guy who uses his abilities to help people. That alone would make them wary of each other, but not enough to actually set them at odds. Lee didn't hate Naruto until Naruto made it clear that he hated Lee.

And the reason is jealousy, pure and simple. Lee has a father figure who is everything Naruto ever wanted growing up. Powerful, intelligent, friendly, trustworthy, and loving. Naruto got Ibiki. Naruto will never completely forgive Lee for having the thing Naruto wanted most.

Tenten

Taijutsu: low chunin

Ninjutsu: low chunin

Ninja tools: high chunin

Genjutsu: high genin

Chakra: low chunin

Personality: tomboy

Flaw: allows herself to be overwhelmed by her teammates

Mental disorder: piquerism

Favorite technique: throwing knives at people

Quote: "I burn with the power of topical vaginal ointment."

Likes: pointy things, sharp things, Neji, Lee, Gai, training, famous kunoichi, being a woman

Dislikes: putting up with gross male habits, misogyny.

Concept: Tenten was a character I had to have since I had Neji and Lee. She's forgettable and never did anything noteworthy in canon besides losing so Temari could show what a bad ass she was. Since she was basically an open book, I decided to have fun with it, and came up with the idea of making her the leader of her team.

Much like Team Lie, Team Gai has a genius, an empathetic, and someone to provide drive and direction who is somewhere between the two. Tenten's issue, however, is that she lets herself be pushed aside by her much more interesting teammates. Naruto showed her that the only way to get ahead is to go out there and make a place for yourself.

Sigmund Freud: I vonder if her fetishistic obsession with stabbing people is somehow related to the penis envy she feels for her more powerful team mates…

Anko Mitarashi

Taijutsu: jounin

Ninjutsu: elite jounin

Ninja tools: jounin

Genjutsu: jounin

Chakra: elite jounin

A rank Special Jounin

Personality: loner

Flaw: inability to commit

Mental disorder: classified

Favorite technique: killing people

Quote: "I like gross."

Likes: dango, blood, killing people, hurting people, scaring people, shocking people, sharp things, snakes, being a woman, Kakashi, Gai, Asuma, Kurenai, Yuugao, Hayate, socializing without being social, being alone around people, Naruto, Hinata, Sasuke, Orochimaru

Dislikes: Orochimaru, commitment, rules, boring missions, running out of dango, being tortured, being experimented on, being crazy, panties

Concept: Anko is too fun not to use. Plus she was handy as a brief teacher who would break the rules and tell Team Lie some things in plain speak.

She's Anko. I had to use her.

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Inspirations and credits: (and bear in mind that this is certainly an incomplete list, I can't remember everything)

Books, anime, tv shows, webcomics, and places that have inspired me with new ideas, or to borrow/steal/modify jokes and ideas from them:

Fight Club, Icanhascheezburger, 4chan, The Fanfiction Forum and the people who post there, general internet memes, Dr. McNinja, Achewood, House, XKCD, Basic Instructions, other fanfics (too many to remember, certainly too many to list, but thanks to the other fanfics authors who've I've read and liked, for what it's worth)

People who have been a major influence on People Lie: (in no particular order)

Lambotrist, HardcoreHeathen, Dusttraveler, Conuthaum, Arun Prabhu, Ninjadebugger, Alpha Zulu, Toby, everyone who commented in the thread on the TFF, and all my reviewers on ffdotnet. Thanks yall. And if I've left anyone out, please don't be offended, it's late, I'm tired, remind me and you'll be on this list in a hurry.

It's late. I'm tired. But I'm glad for all the support and help.

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Well, that's it. I've got more than 80 more pages of notes, discarded scenes, joke ideas, and plot outlines, but if I got into those I'd be spoiling the future of People Lie. As the story grows, my notes file grows with it. That's how I write.

I need two things to start a story. A scene, and a concept. The scene always comes first, for me, and then I work with a concept to get what I need for the scene.

With People Lie, the scene that started it all was the idea of Hinata with a Fight Club homework assignment. 'Lose a fight.' I liked that idea. And I also liked the idea of the kind of manipulative, charismatic, nihilist Naruto that would give her an assignment like that. I had all kinds of fun writing that scene.

But before I started the story, I needed a concept. A driving force behind the rest of the story, which would make that kind of Naruto make sense. And the concept was 'What if Naruto turned out worse from having a father figure than he did growing up alone?' Ibiki sprang to mind immediately. And I jotted down a few notes and wrote those first three chapters. I ended up with about 200 words of notes and about 2000 words of discarded scenes from those first three chapters. Now I'm getting close to 200000 words, and my notes have grown accordingly.

I hope you've enjoyed this trip through the People Lie universe, and maybe some of the information will prove useful to you. I'd like to encourage you all to write, (especially those of you whose stories I'm already following) and I ALWAYS encourage writers to challenge and improve. Maybe you can get some tricks or inspiration from this.

Since people have asked, my typical day of writing is as follows: I like to wake up with Hennessy and oysters, and then, still bleary eyed, I stumble into my office to be mean to people on the internet. Writing asshole characters doesn't come naturally to me, so I find I need daily practice at being one. When I decide to write, I often start by killing a hobo and turning his skin into a fine poncho. This gets me into a creative, bloodthirsty mood, and pleases the dark gods who have claimed my heart. I pound a few red bulls and immediately check my email and favorite porn sites. This usually kills the rest of the day, but should I get bored of cheap cialis and hastily documented sodomy, I'll usually prepare to actually write. A meal first, I'm partial to chicken milk and cocaine, then I usually turn off trillian to remove distractions. Furious keyboard pounding is next, (that's the cocaine kicking in) and then once I get control of my body again I'll settle into some nice serious writing. This may last between five minutes and 16 hours, depending on real life events, time of day, and other intangible factors. Average production is generally between 3 and 5 thousand words for any given writing session, though my record is OVER NINE THOUSAND!!!

Oh, lord. I'd better tell you all I'm joking or someone, somewhere, will believe me.

I am joking, people.

Actually, it's an old cliché that the people who write the most disturbing, messed up things are usually the nicest, friendliest people in real life. Maybe I'll see some of you at a con one day.


	23. Filler 3: 5 People Ibiki Has Tortured

Okay, yes, this is another filler chapter, and it's also really short. I posted this to let you know that there's a whole mess of new fics in my favorites list for you to read, and if you check my bio-

THERE IS NOW A LEMON SIDE STORY!

Happy Birthday, written by Hardcore Heathen, who is a friend of mine, and listed in my favorite authors for his fic Lost Years. He wrote it as a birthday present to me, and I convinced him to post it to AFF. You should give him some comments if you liked it.

There's also his lemon fic Tag Team, which I'm somewhat involved with and contributing the occasional scene to. The first chapter is up, which I was only minimally involved with. The premise is, Tsunami (from the Wave arc) decides to 'reward' her heroes. The first part involves Sasuke, the second involves Naruto, and the third is Sakura. Then, they all get together and, as the title says, tag team her, then it goes into a serial sort of thing where they go back to Konoha and find all these other hot older women. It's basically just a silly, lighthearted lemon.

I'm working on the Sakura parts off and on, and wow, let me tell you, trying to shift gears from the rather convoluted Lie to the silly fluff of Tag Team is like going from fifth gear to first without a clutch. Wharg. Grind it till it goes!

THE NEXT CHAPTER OF PEOPLE LIE IS VERY NEARLY COMPLETE. Just give me a few more days and you'll have a good sized story chapter update. I do believe the wait with be worth it, because general feedback on the new chapter has been quite positive.

Also, there are some offsite favorites in my bio that everyone should have read by now but they're kinda older than usual so some of you might have missed them. Children of an Elder God and The Shadow Chronicles, and if you read nothing else of The Shadow Chronicles, read On A Clear Day You Can See Forever. It's just… wow. Children of an Elder God is NGE fused with Lovecraft, extremely well written, and clear enough that you don't need to know anything about Lovecraft to enjoy it.

Some new fics in my onsite favorites list. I can't believe I didn't have Reload favorited already, oversight I assure you, ditto with Nine Tailed Serpent and its brand new sequel fic. Some things are so good that you forget some people haven't heard of them.

I'd also like to point out the somewhat angsty but with appropriate moments of triumph and sweetness fics by JanuaryFriend. I rather liked both Hyuga and A Portrait of Youth. Hyuga is darker and more angsty than Youth. Obviously, they're not going to be to everyone's tastes, but they're much too good, and lengthy, to only have as few reviews as they do.

Muma was interesting, and Between Deception and Truth is a NaruHina where they genderswap to hide from Akatsuki.

Ah, to hell with it. There are more fics in my favorites, and also by my favorited authors, for you to check out. I hope you find something you like.

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Five people Morino Ibiki has tortured.

Yet another People Lie filler chapter. And yes, obviously I've been reading too many 20 truths/slices of life type fics.

Hey, you said you wanted to see more of Ibiki, right?

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There's a lot of quiet prestige associated with being ANBU. After all, ANBU are the best. The quiet professionals. The faceless killers everyone fears. Kakashi Hatake was once the captain of all ANBU, and while he no longer bothers with the paperwork, he can still say, 'Go here, kill this man,' and that man will be dead as soon as possible.

He's also been raising his genin team to be future ANBU. As socially stunted as they are powerful, an early career in ANBU is almost certainly the best place to put them. But in addition to the usual questions of power and skill and attitude, there's one little test everyone has to go through in order to be ANBU.

A session with Ibiki.

The reasoning is simple. While regular ninja are never allowed to know more than they absolutely have to, ANBU learn all kinds of secrets. And ANBU also get the most dangerous missions by definition.

Everyone breaks eventually. This is a fact.

But the trick is, do you break immediately at the threat or start of pain? Or can you hold on and last as long as possible, giving your teammates time to rescue you, kill you, or change plans so that the information you give up is no longer valid?

In order to be ANBU, you have to last at least 24 hours under torture without giving up your secret.

It is not a widely known fact, kept secret for a reason. Often, the prospective candidate doesn't even know it's coming. They will receive an anonymous card with a simple word or phrase on it on one day. At some point within the next day, ANBU regulars will show up and order them to surrender. Then they are bound and blindfolded and dumped in a prison cell for a period of time ranging from a few minutes to several days, depending on the person and how Ibiki wants to proceed.

Then, someone comes in and explains the rules. The information Ibiki wants. The steps he is allowed to take to get the information he wants. And the comforting reminder that all the prospective ANBU needs to do to make it stop is tell him the secret. This can happen whenever the soon to be victim decides it's too much. There's no stigma attached to failure.

That last part is a lie, of course. But after twelve hours of smelling your own fear, blood, and urine, bathroom breaks are not allowed, little things like the stigma of not being good enough seem small and distant by comparison.

At the same time, lasting longer than the bare minimum grants considerable respect. They're reminded of that one last time before the real test begins.

Next, they are moved to an interrogation room and put in a restraint chair.

That's when they meet Ibiki. He quietly reaches forward to an old fashioned clock and starts the timer. He always does it on the hour, for a reason.

The most closely guarded secret of the whole process is the number of hours the torture must be resisted. It's not 24. It's actually thirty and twenty one minutes.

Humans naturally like to think in terms of nice round numbers. If the prospective ANBU doesn't care enough about his dedication to being an ANBU to do his best to make it past the stated bare minimum, he's clearly not ANBU material. And for the clever ones who think of such things before hand, they tend to want to break at either twenty five hours or thirty hours on the dot, pushing themselves for those last few minutes before gasping out their secret as the chime sounds.

You've got to do better than that to be ANBU.

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Asuma Sarutobi is not ANBU. He has never been ANBU. He's never wanted to be ANBU, nor has he ever tried to be ANBU.

However, he did spend quite a number of years as one of the twelve Guardians of Fire, studying, training, and working at the temple. All good things must come to an end, however, and it came a time when everyone involved agreed that he should go back to being an active Konoha shinobi.

There was only one caveat. He had to prove he could handle the ninja lifestyle.

Ibiki gave him five minutes in the cell, just long enough for the rules to be explained to him, then brought him in and strapped him in the chair before pulling up his own. The first hour, he said nothing. The second hour, he said nothing. The third, he made a shallow, insignificant cut on the back of Asuma's arm, and said nothing.

The smell of blood is naturally alarming to humans, especially one's own. A significant percentage break within minutes of that moment.

Asuma started cursing at hour six, screaming at hour ten, and halfway through hour fifteen he cried. Then he screamed some more. This went off and on for the next twenty.

Forty three hours and fifty minutes later, Asuma finally gasped out the word 'carrot', which his father had been strangely insistent on him remembering four days previously. He being hit by a terribly realistic genjutsu that made him think that his father was setting his hands on fire.

Out of all the still active shinobi, he is currently in seventh place for time lasted, and he spent two straight weeks in the hospital and two more training before putting on his hitai-ate again.

It was no big surprise to Ibiki that Asuma's father, the Hokage, was his weak point, but he was impressed at how resistant he was. Asuma was remarkably well balanced.

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Itachi Uchiha was ANBU, but back then he wasn't the emotionless S class boogieman of many a hunter-nin's nightmares. He was a personable if somewhat overly serious prodigy of the Uchiha clan, and he'd been a jounin for a month.

He spent almost a full day in the cell before someone told him the rules. He screamed for the first time at hour four, cried at hour eight, and never cursed.

It was thirty four hours even before he caved and told Ibiki the last thing he'd eaten at his parent's home, some grilled fish and rice, which his commander had asked about that night when he'd reported to duty. There had been a twenty minute break period where Ibiki had gotten a snack, and when he came back, Itachi was ready to talk. The last thing he'd used on him was a fairly simple genjutsu that made him believe he was freezing to death.

Itachi, for being so exceptional in other ways, ended up only slightly above average for time lasted, placing forty seventh. He spent a week in the hospital and three weeks in training before returning to duty.

Later, Ibiki would note that the most remarkable thing about Itachi was how little he'd learned about him during the experience. He had no obvious phobias and no serious horror of being permanently disabled. The only clear thing was that, if he was going to break, he wanted it to be his decision.

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Maito Gai was ANBU for a while, though, despite a perfect mission record, he never really showed much flair for it. That was, of course, the issue.

Gai had flair and he wanted people to know it. He'd been a jounin for years, and already had plenty of experience. The dark anonymous lifestyle was obviously not for him, but he'd been asked by the Hokage and he never let people down.

Ibiki had originally intended for him to stay in the cell for two days, but ended up starting the test after only seven hours. Gai was doing thousands of squats and hand stand pushups in the cell, as well as running in place on the ceiling, and if he gave him two days he was going to exhaust himself into unconsciousness and then where would Ibiki be?

Like Itachi later, Gai never cursed. He also went longer without screaming than anyone else, nearly eighteen hours, comedically saving it for a scream of horror when Ibiki shaved his head and eyebrows. However, he holds the record for most time spent talking to Ibiki without actually saying anything, and astonishingly, for most number of hours spent crying, at more than thirty three total hours with tears running down his face.

At first, Ibiki thought he was simply a crier, as some people, despite being as tough or pain tolerant as anyone else, simply cry a lot.

Gai's clever plan came to light when he finally passed out from dehydration. It took more than twelve hours of medical care to get him alert enough to continue, adding half a day to his overall total. Ibiki was suitably impressed.

Sixty five hours and fourteen minutes later, just after a fresh round of anxiety causing drugs, Gai announced that he'd passed the test and simply stood up.

Restraint chairs aren't supposed to break like that, but most wannabe ANBU can't open four gates just by deciding to.

Fortunately for Ibiki, rather than immediately punch his tormentor, he politely told him Tea Country, the location of his last mission, then asked how well he'd done.

He was most extraordinarily disappointed to learn that there was someone who'd beaten his time, though he was somewhat mollified to learn that the person who'd done better was currently the ANBU captain.

Kakashi didn't know it, but that was the moment when he gained an eternal rival, and he started with one tick mark in his column.

Gai spent two days in the hospital and the rest of his month training like a madman, though he did immediately don his ANBU mask, Horse. He thought he looked funny without any hair, and didn't feel like getting laughed at.

Ibiki almost felt pity for anyone who got stuck torturing Gai. He was a very infuriating man.

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Kakashi didn't go into ANBU immediately on becoming a jounin. Actually, he had a period he likes to call 'The Crazies', when he refers to it at all, which he doesn't, immediately after the fateful mission that left his best friend Obito dead and himself in possession of a sharingan eye.

That period lasted over two years. He came out the other side not dissimilar from the way he is now. He also joined ANBU.

Ibiki actually smiled at the thought of getting a hold of the famous Kakashi Hatake. There were so many potential phobias there, and he couldn't wait to poke at each and every one to find the one that broke the great genius Kakashi.

To start with, he left him alone in the cell for three days before his assistants told him the rules and dragged him out to the interrogation room.

It was with a song in his heart and a spring in his step that Ibiki walked into the interrogation room.

Kakashi lolled in the chair, eyes closed, his hitai-ate laying on the floor.

Ibiki blinked. Poked him.

No response.

A cripplingly painful pressure point behind his ear got no response. No response at all.

Dumbfounded, Ibiki turned and happened to catch sight of himself in the large, one way mirrored window set into the front wall of the cell.

He turned back to Kakashi. Tilted his head back and looked in one eye, then the eye that that forehead protector had covered, staring at the three tomoe sharingan with growing incredulity.

Then he stalked back out of the room, no longer in a good mood, and confronted his assistants in the break room.

"Alright, which one of you geniuses put him in the room with the mirror?" he demanded testily.

They glanced at each other. One shrugged and raised his hands helplessly.

"What's the problem?"

Ibiki sighed. "The problem is, he scraped his hitai-ate off on the back of the chair, then used a sharingan genjutsu to knock himself out. There's no telling when he'll wake up."

And wake up he did, sixty eight hours later. Ibiki noticed and immediately started forming sealed to cast a genjutsu when Kakashi all but shouted, "I give up!"

Ibiki paused. The rules said the victim could give up at any time. He had to follow the rules.

"The last book I read was porn! Pornpornporn!" And he giggled obscenely.

It was one of the greatest disappointments in his life. He'd set the clocks back in an effort to fool Kakashi into thinking it hadn't been that long and everything. The only thing he learned from Kakashi during those sixty eight hours was that he learned nothing from Kakashi.

Kakashi successfully argued for his month of 'recovery', then immediately left for a resort in Moon country. Obito would have liked it.

Later, after long association, he realized that Kakashi's weakness was fear of discovery itself. One day, maybe he'll get a second chance at the masked ninja.

And so it was, Kakashi had the current record for longest time in the interrogation room without giving up the secret to that date, all because he cheated.

In fact, only one person has ever beaten his record, and it was quite a few years later before she joined ANBU.

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Anko Mitarashi was no stranger to Ibiki, nor he to she. In the rather trying times immediately following Orochimaru's… whatever he'd done, Anko went through a lot of psychological counseling and 'debriefing', which is just like regular interrogation except the victims are usually more cooperative and they call it something else.

She had her own period of 'The Crazies' before she became functional again.

And, one day, she decided to join ANBU and kill people.

Ibiki left her in the cell for two days. She was cursing even before he even started the timer, and before the first day was through she'd gone through the list of responses and started seriously working on catatonia before he stopped.

Anko was both tougher and more fragile than his other victims. The mental escape artists were always the hardest to interrogate, and she'd had a lot of practice.

None of the usual creepy crawlies bothered her. Blood made her proposition him. Needles, knives, psychological torture, horrific memories, inventive nightmares, every type of mind trick, genjutsu, or non permanent real injury just made her struggle and fight or cry and shut down.

Finally, after only forty hours, Ibiki gave up and stopped the interrogation before he killed her. She's the only person he's ever been unable to break.

He's thought a lot about Anko. About her psychological profile, about her history, and about the women herself. He's wondered a lot about why he was never able to break her, and he's never been able to figure that out either.

Anko could tell him, if he asked nicely. It's because she's already broken.

You can't break what's already broken unless you put it together again, and she can never be put completely back together. Orochimaru took a piece with him.

Her record will never be beaten, because technically, it's still ongoing. She never did tell him that her favorite food is dango, and somehow that makes those little rice dough balls all the sweeter.

X

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	24. Lies Made From Light and Fire: one

xxxxxxxxx Lies Made From Light and Fire.

All stories are lies. But good stories are lies made from light and fire. And they lift our hearts out of the dust, and out of the grave. -** Martin Thole's son, from the comic Lucifer, issue 70, Fireside Tales **

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It started out as a 'woo', really faint and a really long way away.

Then it got louder.

Much louder. Loud enough to set the Inuzuka dogs howling, sleepy people grumbling, and tolerant people who remembered their younger years through the filter of a lot of adult life smiling in good natured amusement. And as it dopplered into the night, the dogs stopped howling and started barking, the sleepy people rolled over and went back to sleep, and the tolerant people grinned at the sound of someone who was having a pretty good night and wanted everyone to know it.

"woooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo…."

Naruto ran full tilt up the side of the Hokage mountain, his burdens completely removed from his shoulders despite the new weight which now sat atop them, her hair ruffling in the wind of their passage.

Hinata grinned in almost childish delight as Naruto carried her on a victory lap around Konoha. She hadn't ridden on anyone's shoulders since she was a very small child, and even that she had only the vaguest memories of.

Sasuke had carried her back to Konoha, of course, but that was mostly draped naked over his shoulder, her ass bared to the world in front of her, including about half of Konoha when they'd arrived. She hadn't been awake for it, and all things considered wasn't nearly as fun as feeling Naruto's head between her thighs.

They finally caught up to Sasuke again after a lap and a half. Naruto had been running full out, and Sasuke had only kept up the same easy lope he'd been using since they started. Something had told him that he was going to be running for a while, so he'd started conserving his energy.

"Aww, you didn't run with us," Naruto complained as he slowed to Sasuke's pace. There was a trick to talking while running, you had to plan your words to fit your breathing, but they were all very good at running, so it barely impeded their conversation.

Sasuke gave him a slightly incredulous look. "Naruto. We're being made to run around Konoha as a punishment by Gai-sensei, _and you want to run a victory lap_?"

Naruto grinned, showing a lot of teeth that gleamed with pale whiteness in the moonlight. "Make it yours, Sasuke!"

"Naruto. We were told to run in the middle of the night. We are not going to be seeing our beds for quite a while. I think we'd better prepare for a long, long run."

"You have no sense of romance, Sasuke," Naruto said reproachfully, reaching up to squeeze Hinata's good hand. "That's why I get the girl and you don't."

Sasuke sighed.

"So, anyway, Hinata, tell us more about what happened," Naruto said enthusiastically, turning his attention back to the girl on his shoulders. "Your father said you were the most awesome daughter ever, that you were going to rule the world starting with the clan, and he was a stupid dumbass ignorant foolish stupidhead for ever doubting you. Then what?"

There might have been a snerk from Sasuke, though it was probably just a scuffed rock.

Hinata smiled. She'd expected Naruto to set her down, but he showed no sign of doing so, so who was she to argue? "He said he'd had his reservations when the Hokage had approached him with the idea of putting me on this team, but had allowed himself to be talked into it on the chance that it was what I needed. He's watched us train, he knew about the plan to hide my skills, and he's been keeping tabs on us for the Hokage. He was rather surprised when I revealed my ability to see through the seals on my hitai-ate, though. I think it shocked him. He said he was sufficiently pleased by my progress that he doesn't regret the decision." She shrugged. "For my father to say that, I believe that he is pretty impressed."

"What about our mission? Did he know what really happened there, too?"

She nodded, then agreed out loud for his benefit. "Yes, he did, and he explained why I couldn't see it at first. One of the weaknesses of our eyes is that they're almost too good at protecting us. We can't be blinded by flashbombs or sudden changes in light, we see through genjutsu, and when there is something so horrible that simply to look at it will hurt us, we can't see it. That's all well and good, except when that thing our eyes won't let us see is trying to eat us."

Sasuke raised one eyebrow. "So some of the members of your family have run into those things before?"

She made an iffy gesture. "Sort of not exactly. There's more than shoggoths out there waiting to eat us." She made a soft, unamused chuckle. "And, apparently, I'm the only Hyuga that can see them. Father is so proud."

"Ouch," Sasuke said in an empty tone. "You know what that means."

Hinata nodded. If they had abilities that made them especially adept at certain tasks, like surviving in the face of incredible odds while fighting the most terrifying things in the world, they'd almost certainly get more of those missions.

"Don't worry," Naruto replied, his teeth bared once again. "I have a feeling it'll only get easier. And Hiashi-san knows that, or he'd have never let me anywhere near his daughter. I am the nine tailed fox."

"He mentioned that as well," Hinata admitted. "He had a lot of questions about the nature of the power you've shared with me."

Naruto pursed his lips and said nothing.

"I gave him what answers he insisted on, though I pleaded ignorance to much," she explained assuringly. "I believe he has some questions as to where my true loyalty lies, though he never accused me of anything directly. I mentioned that the alliances I make now will be an asset in the future, and he agreed. He did say that he would like to speak to you at some point, and Sasuke as well."

"Makes sense," Naruto admitted seriously. "I'd want to talk to me, too." He brightened. "But at least if he wanted to kill me, I'd already be dead, so I don't have to worry about that for a while."

"You're such an optimist, Naruto. He may just want to schedule you for a neutering before you get any ideas."

Naruto laughed. "Ideas? _Ideas_? I've already got… _ideas_…."

Sasuke snorted. "But you never act on them." He glanced at the blond and the girl beside him. "And before you say anything, you know what I mean."

Naruto looked affronted, opened and closed his mouth a few times, then growled out a reply. "Well, at least I'm interested in more than being some sort of copy eye voyeur."

Sasuke pulled his head back and nodded slightly, a smug smile on his lips and his sharingan spinning slightly in sympathetic memory.

Naruto glared. Hinata shot Sasuke a warning look and didn't quite growl. Sasuke looked terribly amused.

"Any_way_," she said menacingly, "after that he summoned the elders to the council room, and that's what took so long. And that's where your plan worked beautifully, Naruto. Father hadn't informed them of my increase in ability at all, the last they'd heard anything specific about me was when I was placed on this team, and they still thought I was pathetic and weak like in the academy." She smiled darkly. "Father presented me as his heir, and they were appropriately surprised," she said in a tone of immense satisfaction.

"Oooh," Naruto said with a chuckle. "Indignant shouting, cries of 'what is the meaning of this?!', that kind of thing?"

She nodded. "Two of them raised eyebrows and Grandfather sat up straighter."

"Daaaamn," Naruto said appreciatively.

"You have got to be exaggerating," Sasuke said in a deadpan tone, mentally shaking his head at the Hyuga.

"There were some carefully worded inquiries as to my suitability, especially since I had managed to get my arm broken and I also had to have my eyes sealed. Father explained that it was the result of a fight with Neji in a jounin supervised fight to the knockout, and that Neji was still in the hospital. Then he asked me to demonstrate my skills, within the limits of my broken arm."

"That had to be tricky."

"Yes. I ran through a one armed version of the 64 palms kata as fast as I could, then made four kage bunshin that went out and brought back this incredibly ugly frog statue that's been sitting in one of our gardens for decades. I've always hated that thing, so, without ever raising my forehead protector, I looked for the flaws in it." She shrugged. "There were a lot of them, so I picked the six most likely ones and hit them all with my chakra as fast as I could, and it crumbled into dust."

Naruto laughed. "I can imagine the looks on the branch member maids that had to clean that up, wondering what the hell the elders had been doing in there. They probably looked something like this." He quickly schooled his expression into a dead-eyed stare with just a hint of a superior air by tilting his nose up slightly.

"Well at least it wasn't a support pillar," Sasuke said hiding his amusement so that he sounded almost irritated. He remembered those first mad moments after Hinata had woken up all too vividly.

Hinata had the grace to blush. "I already apologized for that once. I was new to the power, I didn't really think about what I was doing."

"Clearly, since you walked around the temple breaking things," he noted.

"They were ugly statues," she protested. "They offended my sight."

"Then you broke the stone column-"

"It was ugly, too!"

"-which broke the temple-

"We made it out…"

"-into the cave. Which also started collapsing-"

"-we got out the cave-"

"-into the tunnel, which started collapsing behind us next-"

"-slowly collapsing, it's not like we had to run very hard to stay ahead of it-"

"But it's a good thing we did, since we met Bacchi and three bears coming the other direction-"

"-you can't blame me for every little tiny thing that went wrong just because I broke a couple of rocks," she protested.

"Can't I, Hinata? Can't I?"

They glared at each other, sharingan meeting hitai-ate, each unwilling to back down, both knowing it wasn't a gripe so much as friendly ribbing. Hinata also felt somewhat smug in that she had the obvious support of Naruto, at least in that she was still sitting on his shoulders looking down at Sasuke.

Naruto grinned like a fool at the exchange, realizing that Sasuke was showing happiness for Hinata, even if it was in his own asshole way.

"So I'm assuming the elders were impressed?" he asked, getting the conversation back on track.

Hinata stopped giving Sasuke her glare of death, since it clearly wasn't bothering him, and answered. "I believe they were expecting me to break it since I obviously brought it in for a purpose, but not how completely it crumbled. I also broke another kunai in half just to show it works on more than stone. There were no voiced objections to me being the official heir."

"I should hope not. Then we'd need to assassinate an old guy, and I'm not sure we'd want to do that," Naruto replied.

"Yeah, sounds like a lot of work," Sasuke agreed.

"Please," Hinata said in a strained voice. "This is my family we're talking about here."

The boys looked properly chastened.

"It would be worth any amount of work," she corrected seriously. Then she ruined it by giggling.

"So what happens to your sister now?" Sasuke asked.

Hinata smiling expression fell. She didn't answer immediately, choosing instead to ask, through subtle shifts of her muscles, to be let down. Soon she was running beside Naruto, easily keeping pace with the other two.

Naruto stretched his shoulders unobtrusively. It hadn't been a strain, but Hinata was extra weight.

Finally, Hinata replied.

"I believe she is going to be sealed within the week," she said finally.

Naruto and Sasuke glanced at each other. It was clear that Hinata had mixed feelings on the issue, and, awkwardly, they weren't sure what to say.

Hinata didn't choose to elaborate, so they ran silently through the night.

The silence lasted for nearly an hour, running seven laps around the village. The moon continued its stately track across the sky. Fireflies winked on and off in the trees and bushes. Wind picked up briefly, then died down just as fast.

Hinata found herself enjoying the run. It hadn't even occurred to her that Gai's orders were for Naruto and Sasuke alone. What one did, they all did. And, after the stresses of the day, it was kind of relaxing to just let everything go and run, abandoning thought and emotion for the comfortable monotony of careful steps and even breathing.

Summer nights in Konoha were pleasant.

Sasuke ran with effortless resignation, occasionally daubing at his cheeks with a bloodstained rag he kept in his pocket. His eyes had bled profusely in the hour or so immediately after he'd summoned Naruto's chakra, but they'd slowed to the point it was almost nonexistent after that. He healed really fast with the chakra, and the biggest problem besides smelling like he was being murdered was the stains. It didn't interfere with his vision at all. He wasn't exactly happy about running, given it brought back some fairly recent memories, but it wasn't really a problem.

Naruto broke the silence, having apparently spent the past hour thinking.

"It just occurred to me, Sasuke. I can't believe you just asked Hinata about her sister."

Apparently, it wasn't the most profound thought in the world.

Sasuke gave Naruto an incredulous look, as if asking, 'do you have a point?'

Naruto shrugged. "No, I mean, it's kind of neat. I really like it. We've all picked up habits from each other. My girl impression owes a lot to Hinata, and when I was messing with Lee, I spent a lot of time thinking about what you would do. And that's to say nothing of our fighting styles. And here you are actually taking an interest in someone who doesn't directly affect you, you big softie." Naruto paused, thinking. "That's a joke, Sasuke, don't beat me up just to prove you're still a bastard."

"Hn," Sasuke said in such a way as to indicate he really meant it. "I guess you're rubbing off on me as well. I used to think most people were stupid and not worth my time." He glanced at Naruto.

Naruto raised one eyebrow.

"Now I think most people are stupid, not worth my time, and I make little plots to kill them just in case it proves necessary." He had the faintest smirk on his lips.

Naruto covered his face with his hand and shook his head.

Sasuke glanced across Naruto at Hinata. "As for apparently caring about other people, I blame Hinata. Next thing you know I'll be giggling, separating my laundry, and spending half an hour on my hair. Maybe I'll get some fishnet." Sasuke made his voice high, put a little bounce in his step, and suddenly grabbed Naruto's arm, startling the hell out of the blond.

"Oh, Naruto-kun, you like fishnet, right?" Sasuke trilled, then giggled, then as Naruto started to pull away, he suddenly let go, put some distance between them, and acted like nothing had happened. He even kept the smirk off his face.

Hinata growled softly.

Sasuke couldn't help it then, and smirked.

They ran for about a half lap more before Naruto gave Hinata a verbal prod. "Hinata?"

"I used to not menstruate nearly as much," she said after a moment's hesitation, turning her head to look directly at Sasuke so they'd know who she was referring to.

Sasuke recoiled in horror and confusion. "What?!"

Hinata said nothing further.

Naruto snickered. Then, slowly, his snickers built into a full on, obnoxious laugh.

Sasuke shook his head, trying to block out bad mental images. "No, what? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Hinata smiled and turned away. Naruto couldn't respond because he was laughing too hard.

"Is this some sort of crack about my eyes?" Sasuke demanded.

Naruto shook his head and wiped away tears, his laughter slowly fading.

"It is, isn't it? It's a crack about my eyes bleeding."

Naruto finally got control over himself, reached over, put a hand on Sasuke's shoulder, and looked him in the eye.

"No, Sasuke," he said in his best sympathetic tone of voice, "Actually… She just called you a pussy."

Sasuke looked tremendously offended.

Hinata just smiled.

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Its name was Mount Osoiyama.

It was a volcano.

It was big, not very tall, with gently sloping sides covered in rough scrub and steam vents. The volcanic crater was small, with a cooled crust of lava less than twenty meters down from the edge.

Usually.

There was a village at the foot of the mountain. The people were a cheerful, friendly folk who harvested rare minerals, especially raw sulfur, from the mountain. It was somewhat dangerous but it paid well, so it was a bright, clean village. The founders had also chosen well, building it on a rise well away from the obvious tracks of the old lava flows. They also built it largely out of stone, with minimal use of flammable materials. Luckily, the minerals gathered from the mountain were valuable enough that the roads that had been built had naturally shifted towards it, and now the village sat in a fork, where the road came in from the plains of Grass and split off in two directions, one directly into Earth and the other heading towards Lightning, so it also boasted quite a bit of trade.

Unfortunately, all the wealth had meant the city had grown, and the newer buildings were made out of much cheaper materials, such as wood. New buildings also need new places to put them, so the city had spread. With space at the top of the ridge at a premium, down was the only choice. Directly into the old lava flow.

Which, for the first time in centuries, actually had lava flowing down it.

Jiraiya sighed in irritation and reluctantly considered setting down his jug of sake as the firestorm grew large enough that he started actually getting hot, and it wasn't even noon yet.

It wasn't like it was his problem. Sure, if there had been people still hanging around down there, he'd be evacuating them as fast as possible. But the lava had welled up oh so slowly, and then started flowing down the mountain as a trickle, which soon hardened. But more was behind it. It was only on one side of the town, as well. The rise was part of a larger ridge, and lava could only flow on one side. The other side lead out to the plains.

Everyone had gotten out. Maybe, just maybe, there had been a few idiots somewhere, but if so no one had noticed them. He'd done his part by knocking down a firebreak between the wooden buildings and the old town so the firestorm couldn't climb the hill, and now he was sitting back in a chair on the roof of a decent, family owned inn and watching half the town of Osoiha burn. Most people, even in the old section of town, had fled the area completely, but some of the people in the old town had chose to remain, despite Jiraiya's repeated warnings, and gamble that the lava wouldn't rise so far as to get them as well.

He was in Osoiha because there was a rather nice brothel, an even nicer bath, and a quite serviceable inn. Unfortunately, they were all currently going up in smoke. What a pain in the ass.

"More sake, Jiraiya-sama?" Kimoki, the twelve year old family daughter, asked quietly from behind him, unable to take her eyes off the fire. The comfort of routine, serving their only remaining guest, helped keep her from panicking. Her parents, along with many others, had decided to stay despite his warnings, and had offered him a free stay for his efforts in making the firebreak.

Jiraiya frowned, swished his jug around, and considered the question. "Hmm. Do you have anything cold?"

Suddenly, the earth rumbled beneath them. Kimoki screamed and threw herself to the floor. Jiraiya tensed, preparing to move fast if need be, but it proved unnecessary. The building held.

Then there was a groaning sound, as if the very earth itself was being rent asunder. The terrible rocky scream rose in pitch…

Then the bottom of the ravine that the lava flowed down, plus a third of the remaining town between them and it, visibly rose in height before their very eyes, gaining five meters in height in less than half a minute.

A split formed in the rock, and there was a sudden plume of super hot gasses, then more magma began to well up out of the newly formed bubble, making it still taller. If it grew much more, it would soon be taller than the town, and then not even old Osoiha would be safe.

"Huh," Jiraiya remarked. "So there was a lava tube there. I wasn't sure."

Kimoki picked herself off the ground and stared at him in astonishment, then turned back to the menacing new source of lava. "Jiraiya-sama…!" she began. "Is that… is that going to reach here?"

He consulted a detailed map of the surrounding area he'd had tucked in a pocket, then nodded. "Oh, definitely."

Kimoki wailed in sudden despair. "We're all gonna die! And I didn't even agree to that date with Ryouta last week!" She threw herself at Jiraiya, clutching at his jacket. "I don't want to die a virgin!"

Jiraiya snorted and glanced down at her. "It's good to have goals. I don't want to die a pedophile."

She wailed louder.

He smiled and patted her head gently. "Don't worry, kiddo. The great Jiraiya has it all under control. I thought this might happen, so I've already made plans." He winked at her and brought his hands together into a single seal.

Kimoki stared in astonishment as he said only one thing.

"Ha."

There was a pulse of something strange, unfamiliar to her untrained, civilian senses, and then, miraculously, the flood of lava stopped.

All of it.

Massive seals, cut into the very rock itself all around the town in the two days previous, activated with Jiraiya's chakra, and the great mountain's eruption paused in mid flow.

He smiled at her and gently turned her around, sending her to the stairway with a pat on the shoulder and a gentle shove. "Go get your parents, kid. You need to be out of here before sundown. I'll go buy you some time."

Still somewhat shell shocked, she left to obey. They would be gone within the hour.

Jiraiya grinned and leapt off the roof, running across rooftops towards the lava. As he did, he bit his thumb and flashed through seals, creating an explosion of chakra smoke and a rush of displaced air. When it cleared, he was on top of a giant, twenty meter tall toad with deep red skin and a proud bearing, which burbled deep in its throat and angled itself to catch the heat coming off the lava more effectively.

The fire mountain toad clan didn't mind lava one bit.

Jiraiya made more seals and pressed his hands to the top of the toad's head, then cleared his throat. As he opened his mouth the immense toad did as well, and his words bellowed forth from one of the mightiest throats in the world.

"Listen up, people!" he and the toad shouted in a voice that could shatter stone. "I warned you once, and you didn't listen! I warned you twice, and still you didn't listen! This is your last warning! The mountain will destroy your town! Leave by sundown or suffer the consequences! The great Jiraiya has spoken!"

"Jiraiya-sama!" called a black clad figure from below.

He glanced at it. Black outfit, with green and white, plus a rabbit mask. Looked like Konoha ANBU, so he made a come here motion.

Best to make the newcomer come to him. Easier to see an incoming attack that way.

The ANBU landed lightly a respectable ten feet from him, then crept closer and lay a scroll on the warty surface of the toad's skin before retreating and bowing again. "Message for you, sir." He disappeared in a puff of air and chakra.

Jiraiya cautiously picked up the scroll, unsealed the standard Konoha ANBU seal, and read it.

'Jiraiya-

Come home as soon as feasible.

-Sarutobi'

"…shit," the giant fire toad said, the sound echoing across the doomed mountain town.

Jiraiya shook himself and destroyed the scroll.

"Okay, people, new plan! You have four hours! Get your things and get out now!"

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Running can be a zenlike experience if you're tired enough. It's very repetitive, and just the monotony of putting one foot in front of the other can wear down even the most active mind.

"I can't decide if he's telling us to think more in stressful situations, or to stop thinking so much," Naruto said, completely out of nowhere. It was the first thing any of them had said in more than two hours.

"Stop thinking so much," Sasuke replied.

Hinata remained silent, except for the growling of her stomach.

Naruto pulled half a ration bar out of a pocket, mostly made of some sort of hard breadlike substance with dried fruit and jerky in it, and passed it to her.

"Lunch, looks like," he commented.

She agreed and nibbled on the corner. It would take a while to eat it, and it effectively killed all of their hunger.

"Do you really think Gai-sensei had a plan when he told you to run?" she asked.

Naruto and Sasuke exchanged looks. Sasuke shrugged and said, "Hn." Naruto looked up. The sun was high in the sky, and it was almost noon. He hadn't slept but a few hours the night before they met Gai, and even he was getting a bit worn.

"I think he's just pissed, honestly," Naruto admitted.

"Ah."

They kept running.

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"Kakashi's kids? You want me to teach _his_ students?" Asuma asked with a note of incredulity in his voice.

"At this point, you're probably the only one who can. I confess, I made quite a mistake with them, and they no longer trust me," Gai admitted. He'd cornered the bearded jounin in the corridor of the Hokage tower when Asuma had turned in a D rank mission report, and they'd retreated outside to talk.

Asuma blinked. "What happened?"

Gai told him.

Asuma hmmed, then took out a cigarette and lit it. After the first sweet drag, he pointed it at Gai.

"And why me?" he asked.

"Because your team works together best. They'll respect that. Also, you're not ANBU. You may be the only jounin-sensei still working that can teach them the human element of being a ninja." Gai's face was serious. "Also, Kakashi will owe you one."

Asuma snorted in sudden amusement, remembering other things Kakashi 'owed' him, like bar tabs, meal tabs, and equipment that somehow got destroyed by a little old lady crossing the road of life to avoid a black cat, at least if Kakashi was to be believed. He didn't believe him, of course, but there was that odd chance that Kakashi was telling the truth, and if so, he never wanted to meet that old lady. She must have been six kinds of bad ass.

"Not like I could ever collect," he grumbled good naturedly, then turned more serious. "So why do you want me to take them? Just to get them off your hands?"

Gai shook his head. "This may be their last chance to learn things Kakashi knows but will never admit. You're a good man, Asuma. Show them that life isn't a zero-sum game."

Asuma shrugged. "Yeah, alright. I guess I can take them for a while."

Gai smiled grimly. "Thank you. They respect cleverness and power, and I suggest you impress them early. They're as aggressive as Kakashi's pack of nin-dogs, so don't let your students be passive around them. They may not be socialized, but they're very adept at the shinobi arts."

"Hmm."

"And you should keep a close eye on them. They're very… subtle… for genin. Naruto especially. He's the leader of their pack, so where he goes, the others will follow."

"Naruto, huh?" He tapped ash off the end of his cigarette. "I saw him flying over Konoha a few days ago."

Gai raised an eyebrow. "Flying?"

"Best I can describe it. He was making multiple kage bunshin and pushing off of them. Hundreds of them. That's one of the craziest uses for a jutsu I've ever seen. Just the chakra involved…" Asuma shook his head.

Gai nodded. "Unusual, but I can't say it surprises me." He thought for a moment, then added, "There are three man-lifting kami-tori from Grass in Armory storage. You might grab one and suggest that Naruto try it out."

"Recon kites? Are you sure?"

Gai nodded and clapped him on the shoulder. "Trust me, he'll love it." His eyes turned distant and he looked out across Konoha. "They're running laps around Konoha right now, so give them a few days."

"And you?"

"I will be running a message to the Daimyo's court." He clapped Asuma on the shoulder. "Thank you, my friend. May your youthful flame never gutter out."

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It was no stretch of the imagination at all for Gai's students, his team and Kakashi's, to realize that he was angry.

It would, however, have surprised them to learn the true nature of his anger. He was disappointed, of course, both in Kakashi, his students, and himself, but he wasn't actually angry at any of them.

The Hokage, however, deserved some anger. Gai understood from the moment he talked to Neji in the hospital that Sarutobi had withheld information from him. Information about Kakashi's training, about Naruto's ties with the demon sealed in him, and most importantly, about the mission they'd just came back from.

He did not appreciate that both his and Kakashi's teams had been put in danger simply to evaluate Team Seven's fitness for duty. As a man, he hated the risk and trauma they'd been put through, and he resented the interference in his team.

But he was a good ninja, so he saw the reasons, even if he didn't agree with them. And he was left with no choice but to suck it up, because the decision had come from on high.

He'd run to the capital and back on his knuckles for his failure, and if he couldn't do that, he'd hop on one leg all the way to Wind country.

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"Team Seven, come here," Asuma ordered from his shady spot beneath the spreading limbs of a large tree, where he was hand rolling a cigarette.

The trio, panting slightly and surprised by the interruption, immediately turned and ran to him. They all recognized Asuma, the jounin-sensei of Team 10.

"Yes, Asuma-sensei?" Naruto asked

He nodded sharply to them. "Just wanted you to know that I'll be taking you three next. But not right now. I got my students a three day C rank, and we won't be back until Saturday. Monday, I expect to see you all at the road that runs by the Nara lands. Meet up at the stone dog. You do know where that is, right?"

They nodded. "Yes, Sensei."

He nodded. "Good. Carry on, then."

They bowed and resumed their run.

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"You know what that means, right?" Naruto commented as they ran away from their new temporary teacher.

"At least one more day of running. Maybe more," Hinata replied.

"Yeah…"

And they ran.

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"I turned to shield Akamaru. I am NOT sorry." Kiba patted the still white puppy hanging out of the neck of his jacket, and he barked thanks in return. The back of his jacket and much of his hair was covered in pale yellow paint.

Sakura all but growled at him, still rubbing at the yellow paint stuck to her hands and legs, including the bottom of her dress and her shinobi sandals. She had good enough chakra control to stick to the second story wall of a house at a moment's notice, but not enough to keep the fresh paint from sticking to her. "You could have used that paint roller to keep the paint can from falling off the window ledge, since it teetered there for like three seconds. And if you'd been paying more attention to where you were going instead of trying to stare up my skirt, you wouldn't have swung your paint roller into Shino and caused him to knock the ladder out from under me in the first place."

Reflexively, they both glanced at Shino. The usually quiet, stoic boy glared at Kiba through a mask of yellow paint. Only his eyes were clean, and that was because his sunglasses had taken the brunt of the swipe. They were currently in his pocket, since no amount of rubbing had managed to get them clean enough to see through. The front of his jacket was almost sodden with paint. The falling paint can had all but exploded when it hit the ground, and Shino was too busy being blinded by paint and fumes to avoid it.

"Yeah, well, if he hadn't been over there staring up your skirt too, he wouldn't have gotten in the way," Kiba reasoned. "Or at least been able to duck."

Sakura blushed like the setting sun and rounded on Shino. "You were staring up my skirt, too?! I thought something was up when you agreed with Kiba that I should get on the ladder because I was smaller than you two! Weight limits my ass!"

"In tight spandex!" Kiba agreed enthusiastically, happily remembering the many good looks he'd managed to get of his teammate's 'modest' undershorts.

Sakura slapped him on the back of the head and gave Shino a death glare. "Well? What do you have to say for yourself?"

Shino blinked, then his eyes tracked to the left of her. "Look. It is a rare bug," he said in the slightly louder monotone that was as close as he ever got to being excited. "I must catch it." He slipped by her and hurried away.

"Shino!" she screeched.

Shino's retreating form seemed to dissolve into a thick black swarm of bugs.

"Kiba!" she cried, turning back to the Inuzuka just in time to catch a flash of yellow disappearing around a corner into the market district of Konoha.

She stood there for a moment, abandoned by her fleeing teammates, then clenched her fists and stamped her foot. "Grrr… BOYS!"

Boys, in her opinion, were not worth her time. She swore she wouldn't have anything to do with them if they weren't on the same team. Just like Kiba didn't have anything to do with personal hygiene and Shino didn't have anything to do with… with… bug spray. Or something.

She mostly blamed Kiba, though. Shino usually had his act together, but Kiba was always able to drag him down to his level and beat him with experience. They were worse when they were getting along than they were picking on each other.

A flash of orange caught her attention, and she turned to see Naruto, as well as Sasuke and Hinata, run by on the outskirts of Konoha. She'd seen them running twice earlier, once when she was going to meet with her team and once during the day.

Sasuke had never told her when he was taking her on a date- A DATE! YES! -so she decided to run him down and drop a few hints.

"Sasuke!" she called as she ran towards them.

"Can't stop," Naruto called back over his shoulder.

Blinking, she shrugged and quickly caught up with them. They had a brisk but easy pace, so she fell into place alongside Sasuke.

"Haven't you been running all day?" she asked.

"And night," Naruto confirmed.

"Wow, that's some training," she replied, impressed. "Aren't you tired?"

That time, not even Naruto bothered to reply.

"Umm…" she said, feeling silly. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"More water purification tabs," Hinata replied. "It's been a hot day, and we're filling up our canteens from a stream." Small wooden boxes of twenty five tabs were common ninja equipment. A canteen could be filled with swamp water and be safe to drink after the addition of the purification tab, although the less said about the taste the better. You got used to it.

"Okay, I can do that. I don't have any on me, so I'll have to go get some." She blushed at their looks. Not everyone went around prepared for every possibility, after all. "Um, have you eaten anything?"

"No," Sasuke replied at a nudge from Naruto.

"Okay," she replied brightly. "So, I'll get you something, okay?"

Naruto fished in his pocket for a moment, then pulled out a handful of ryo and handed it to her. "Get us some ration bars, okay? We're going to be doing this for a while longer."

She nodded and hurried away. They hadn't even asked about the paint, and she was glad. That whole incident was just kind of embarrassing. Now if Sasuke wanted to look at her spandex covered butt… well, that might be okay. She'd already seen his naked, after all.

Naruto shot Sasuke a look. "Now you see? She's useful."

"Hn," Hinata said out loud. Both boys stared at her for a moment, then let it slide.

They met Sakura on the next lap as she hurried to catch up with them, two sacks dangling from her hands.

"I got you a bunch of trail rations, the kind with raisins in them, and three boxes of water purification tabs," she replied, digging through the bag to make sure everything was still there. It was kind of a pain, because she kept looking up slightly to make sure she didn't trip on anything. The bag kept bouncing a little with each step, too.

"Why thank you, Sakura-chan!" Sasuke said brightly.

Her head snapped up at the uncharacteristic exuberance, and she stared blankly at the scene of Sasuke glowering at a strangely smirking Naruto.

"Umm, you're welcome?" she replied.

"Hn."

Yeah, now that was definitely Sasuke that time.

"And I also got you a box of assorted onigiri. Even if they're the good kind, the ration bars never taste great, you know?"

"Thank you, Sakura. Your kindness will be remembered," Naruto said formally, half bowing to her as he continued to run.

"As will the blood on your hands," Hinata added, remembering the pigeon.

"…yeah…" Sasuke and Naruto added, smiling thoughtfully.

She blushed. "Oh, well, here. Is there anything else?"

"…nothing for now, thanks," Sasuke replied slowly as he passed one of the bags to Naruto.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "What he means to say is, we're probably going to be running for another day or so without stopping, so he's sorry to tell you it might be a while before he can carry you on that date he promised. But don't worry. Sasuke always keeps his promises. That's his ninja way." Naruto grinned and gave her a thumbs up.

She blushed like mad. "Oh, I wasn't going to-"

"Say anything?" Hinata interrupted. "No, so Naruto did. Be grateful."

"T-thank you, Naruto-san!"

Naruto gave her a cheesy grin.

"I can bring you breakfast in the morning, too," she blurted suddenly.

All three glanced at her. Hinata had the package of a ration bar dangling from her lip because it'd been getting in the way.

"I mean, if you're still running," she explained hastily.

"…that would be nice," Sasuke admitted grudgingly. "Thank you."

"…Okay!" she said brightly. "I'll uh, I'll see you then. Good bye. Night. Good night!" She stopped running and soon fell out of sight.

"My ninja way is that I never break my promises?" Sasuke asked, turning to Naruto. "I thought it was that I'll kill anyone who gets in the way of my goals?"

"No, that's Hinata's," Naruto explained.

"I will be mean to people I don't like?"

"Naruto's." Hinata stuffed ration bars in her deep pockets.

Sasuke blinked. Tried again.

"I will use my sharingan for perverted reasons?"

"Kakashi-sensei's," both Naruto and Hinata chorused in harmony.

"…shit." He couldn't argue with that.

"If you don't like the promise one, your way of the ninja can be 'hn'," Hinata offered.

Sasuke blinked. Thought about it. Shifted the bag with the large box of onigiri in it from one hand to the other.

"Hn…" he said thoughtfully.

"Hn," Naruto agreed.

"Hn." Hinata was definite.

Sasuke shrugged. "Works, I guess. Hand me some water tabs."

It took a little while for them to get the ration bars and water tabs put away, and they filled up their canteens with fresh water when they crossed the stream that ran by on the outskirts of Konoha. It technically wasn't stopping if they dipped their canteens in the water as they ran across the stream. The sun was below the horizon and it was steadily darkening, but it was still light enough to see. The real relief came from the drop in temperature, as it had been pretty hot in the middle of the day.

Sasuke opened the box of onigiri and there was much chewing. It was probably the best they'd felt all day, and it really boosted their energy and mood.

Naruto ate happily. His had red bean paste in the center.

Hinata ate hungrily. Hers had pickled plum.

Sasuke ate one handed, since he had the box in his other. His had fish.

"You know, I've been thinking," Naruto said thoughtfully, licking some of the paste out of the center.

"No, really?" Sasuke said with a snort.

"And I've come up with a thought. Kind of like a koan, only I'm saying it and not some old bald monk, so I guess that automatically means it's not as wise. But it's a thought, so hear me out." He glanced at them expectantly.

Seeing no response, he continued. "Life is like… a box of onigiri."

"It's tasty?" Sasuke asked, his mouth half full.

"No-"

"Someone else always gets the good parts?" Hinata countered, pointedly directing her comment at Sasuke, who still had the box.

"Not exactly what I'm trying to say-"

"Oh, I know!" Sasuke said with false cheer. "It's a mystery if you're a retard and you don't read the label on the lid!"

Naruto opened his mouth, glanced at Sasuke, glanced at Hinata, glared back at Sasuke, and sighed. "…you both suck," he complained finally.

"Have a rice ball," Sasuke said, pressing one into his hand.

Naruto sighed and lifted it to his mouth.

"That one's got miso," Sasuke said helpfully. "Unless you didn't want to know what you were going to get."

Naruto glared and ate it. Together they finished the box.

And they ran.

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"Is that Naruto and his team?" Tenten asked aloud, staring down the road to her right, where three figures, one in pale orange pants and a black shirt, ran in the other direction.

Neji nodded at her side. "Yes. I heard that Gai-sensei told them to run laps around Konoha last night. Apparently, they are still at it."

Tenten frowned, shook her head, and turned away. "Serves them right."

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Hinata was the first to stumble. It was less than thirty minutes after Naruto had detoured to dump their trash in a public can, they were running along the forest side of Konoha, and there was a sudden change in her movements. She hesitated between steps, then scuffed a toe and had to scramble to stay upright.

All three of them stopped for the first time.

"Hinata? Are you okay?" Naruto asked.

Hinata didn't answer at first, raising and lowering her hitai-ate several times.

"I seem to have run out of your chakra," she said slowly. "I can't see through the seals anymore."

"Let me see your eyes," Naruto replied, stepping closer, feeling the ache in his legs from the now unfamiliar movement. He'd been running for so long he'd all but forgotten how to walk.

Hinata obligingly left her hitai-ate on her forehead and stared at him. Her eyes were once again white, just like ordinary Hyuga eyes.

"They're not black anymore," Naruto commented. "I guess it's my chakra that makes it do that."

Hinata sighed slowly. She was very tired, and being back to only her chakra made her feel as though she weighed three times as much and was three times as exhausted. But they had laps to run.

Actually, all of them were getting close to their limits. They all stunk of sweat and grime and blood, they'd been wearing the same clothes for two days solid. They'd fought, and fought hard, and then they'd ran and ran some more. All of them were hungry, despite Sakura's contributions, and the combination of physical exhaustion and lack of sleep had even Naruto hurting.

"I suppose I will have to go back to being blind," she said with resignation. "Otherwise I'll burn all of my chakra just seeing where we're going."

Naruto gave her a wan smile and held out his hand. "Don't worry. I'll guide you."

She placed her hand, smaller and more delicate seeming despite the calluses and strength, in his and squeezed it gratefully.

And they ran, but slower.

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Sasuke was next, five hours later, just after eleven at night. One moment, he was running along, feeling tired, and admittedly only just barely awake. The next, he felt a wave of exhaustion crash over him and nearly missed a turn, his eyes slipping closed. Naruto had to grab his arm and jerk him back onto the trail to keep him from running into a tree, and in the process he let go of Hinata's hand.

She promptly tripped and sprawled out face first into the dirt, skidding on her hands as she fell. Exhausted, she simply lay there for a moment.

Sasuke stumbled hard from the pull and actually fell to his knees, and Naruto realized that in his exhausted fog he'd let Hinata down. He cursed tiredly when he saw her fall, but was too tired to do anything to stop it.

Belatedly he realized that he'd screwed up. His teammates were too tired to take care of themselves, and that left him. He did not have the luxury of being stupidly tired. They could get hurt.

He drew upon the vast well of power at the very center of his core, willing it to drive away the poisons of fatigue and give him the focus and strength he needed. He felt the need, the hunger for fresh blood, but he denied it. He would not ask Sasuke or Hinata for blood, not now.

There was a moment of hesitation, but his demand was insistent, and then there was relief. Hot, ferocious power flooded him. His vision cleared, the night became less deep, insects buzzed in his ears, and most enticing was the scent of sweat. Far from stinking, it smelled like healthy young human.

He quickly crouched by Hinata and inhaled deeply, able to tell from just her alluring scent that she was unharmed, not even so much as a scraped palm. He shook her gently.

"Hinata? Hinata, are you okay?" he asked softly, turning her head to one side and brushing a few errant strands of hair behind her ear.

"…tired," she mumbled into the dry earth and dust of the trail. Slowly, she pushed herself up to her hands and knees, her legs shaking, and then Naruto simply picked her up and cradled her in his arms, holding her tight until the shaking stopped. She put her arms around his neck and mumbled something indistinct.

He pulled her close and kissed her softly as she quietly passed out, her head lolling backwards.

Naruto glanced at Sasuke. "You gonna make it?" he asked.

A snarky comment about Naruto's ability to guide people, or lack thereof, was right there on his tongue, but Sasuke was too tired to do anything more than nod.

Naruto turned so that he was offering Hinata's feet and lower legs as a handhold, but Sasuke stood up on his own, although a bit shakier than he liked.

"I've used all of your chakra," Sasuke announced, putting his hands on his thighs and leaning forward as he panted. "It's not any easier the third time."

Naruto blinked. "Third?"

"First time was when I carried you two back to Konoha. Second was after we got new equipment, but we weren't really doing anything, so it was a lot easier to handle. This time, though…"

Naruto nodded. Sasuke was clearly hitting his limit.

"Was it really bad? The first time, I mean."

Sasuke looked at him a moment, then slowly nodded. "...actually, I passed out on my feet. Dropped you both and woke up when I hit the ground a few seconds later." He made a soft sound, almost like a single laugh. "I think it took me an hour to pick you both up and start running again. It…" His moment of weakness and doubt wasn't important, since he'd already overcome it. He shook his head and stood up straight, cracking his back slightly in the process. "Well, that's not important. I couldn't just leave you there. Hinata was still bleeding and I didn't have any idea what was wrong with you."

Naruto nodded seriously, understanding the hint he'd dropped about the fear and pain he'd endured to save both Naruto and Hinata. "I'm sorry."

Sasuke shrugged. "You fought that thing. It'd be pretty lame for me to blame you for passing out after that."

Naruto rolled his shoulders in a shrug and shook his head in disagreement. "No, but… Look, I'm the guy with the god in his stomach, right? I've got all the chakra and all the stamina. It should have been me carrying you back to Konoha. Taking care of you both is my job."

Sasuke snorted. "Naruto, you take your hits just like everyone else. Just cause you can take more of them sometimes doesn't mean they don't hurt."

Naruto blinked at him.

Sasuke smirked. "When you stagger and fall, don't sweat it. I got it."

Naruto shook his head slightly and smiled. "Yeah, actually, I already knew that."

Sasuke's smirk grew just slightly more amused. "Good. You should know your place. You've only got a god in your stomach, it's not like you're an Uchiha." Barb delivered, he casually started running again.

Naruto opened his mouth to retort, then closed it again and resumed running, careful not to bounce Hinata too much. "Sasuke, you are such an asshole," he grumbled under his breath.

A hour later, two of his clones managed to catch Sasuke before he tumbled into the bushes. They guided the passed out Uchiha onto another clone's back before dispelling themselves. Naruto and Hinata and the clone with Sasuke on its back resumed their run together.

It was different, being the only one awake. But it wasn't lonely.

All things considered, he'd have to rate it as one of the best nights in his life.

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Watching the sun rise when you're busy isn't quite the same thing as sitting back, relaxing with a cup of something hot, and then watching the sun rise.

Considering that most of his route was under the trees, Naruto caught it in slices, getting a fairly decent look as he ran across the top of the Hokage mountain.

He had to remake his clone twice, as the constant physical effort, plus carrying Sasuke, burned through their chakra to the point of instability. Luckily for Sasuke, they'd noticed and given Naruto enough warning that he was able to make a new one before Sasuke got dumped on his face in the middle of the trail.

He paused once the sun was actually visible on the horizon and just let the sun soak into his skin. Hinata stirred sleepily in his arms and he shifted his right arm to better cradle her head.

The movement, though gentle, was enough to finish waking her. Moaning slightly, she half tried to rise up, sliding her hitai-ate up on her forehead with one hand.

"Mmmm, Naruto-kun?" she said sleepily.

"Good morning, Hinata-chan," he replied. "How are you feeling?"

"Ahhh, better," she replied. "Set me down and I'll know more."

He lowered her legs until she was standing upright. Hinata made soft winces as overworked muscles protested their soreness, but stood on her own.

Naruto blinked as she suddenly went to one knee, her hands twisting and rubbing at the muscles of her left leg.

"Cramp," she explained in a slightly strained voice. It was a moment before she was able to stand again.

"Want me to carry you some more?" he asked hurriedly. "I'm still fine, you could catch another nap that way. I mean, look at sleepyhead over there." He jerked his thumb at where Sasuke was still slumped, completely out of it, on the other Naruto's back.

She shook her head. "No, I will be okay once I warm up. The rest has helped, I can tell."

"Are you sure? Actually, I kinda like carrying you, so it's not a problem."

Blood rose in her pale cheeks and she gave him a smile that made the sunrise seem coarse and dim by comparison.

_Blood for power_, something inside him whispered.

"Hey, I want to try something," Naruto said out loud. "I think I can help you."

"Yes?" She looked back at him, her liquid white eyes perfectly trusting.

He reached forward and pulled her into an embrace, which she instantly returned, wrapping her arms around his middle as he hugged her shoulders. He pressed his face to the side of her head and inhaled deeply, his nostrils flaring as he pulled the sleeve of her jacket and shirt down to expose her bare shoulder. She smelled of exertion and pain and love and happiness and healthy female animal. She smelled like she was his.

She sighed against him, closing her eyes in contentment as he nuzzled the side of her neck, kissing her skin with warm dry lips, then nipping slightly with teeth too pointed to be entirely human.

_Life and chakra_, a growing part of him said hungrily.

"I will give you more of my power," he whispered, his breath fluttering across her skin.

"You need blood," she replied, tilting her head to the other side, baring her neck and shoulder in clear consent.

"I don't have to have blood," he replied, licking down to her shoulder and finding the invisible but subtly different skin where, once, on a bloody altar, he'd bitten her like a fox biting a vixen. He kissed the spot, and Hinata trembled slightly as a jolt of recognition flared in the mark.

He felt it as well, and concentrated on giving her some of his strength as he breathed slowly on it, his breath hot against her skin.

Pleasurable fire spread from the mark, racing through her body, and she gasped into his shoulder, her breath catching in her throat.

He pulled back and looked at her.

Solid black eyes stared back at him, looking entirely out of place in her sweet, blushing face.

"Feel better?" he asked, his voice deep and growling.

"Rawr!" she growled, and jumped at him, both hands catching his head and her lips puckered for a kiss.

An indeterminate but entirely too short period of time later, the two breathless genin resumed their run, hand in hand, while the tolerantly amused Naruto clone carried Sasuke along behind them. The unplanned little… interlude, was fun for them both, but kissing stimulates saliva flow, and Naruto was already hungry. As wonderful as it was for Hinata to lay on top of him and feel his fingers in her hair, the constant rumbling of his stomach was a distraction. With any luck, Sakura would remember her promise and bring breakfast.

Hinata's exhausted slumber in Naruto's arms had helped clear her head, even if she was still tired and even more sore when she woke up, but Naruto's chakra had energized her even as it cleaned the fatigue toxins from her muscles. It would be easy to attribute her renewed vigor to the kyubi.

However, despite the heightened senses and pleasure the demonic power had given her, it was Naruto himself that made her feel like she was running on clouds. As far as she was concerned, Naruto's kiss was worth more than any god given gift.

Almost immediately after they started running, however, the renewed motion and the increasing light startled Sasuke awake. Having never woken up while being carried by someone before, he naturally stabbed his blonde transport behind the ear with a kunai.

The clone dispelled, and Sasuke was immediately confronted by the challenge of falling. Agile as a cat, he tucked, rolled, and landed on his feet.

Or, that's what would have happened if he hadn't been almost as sore as Hinata. Instead he performed a perfect faceplant.

Naruto and Hinata immediately stopped and ran back to check on him.

Sasuke sat up, spitting indignantly, kunai still clenched in his hand.

"Hungry?" Naruto asked. "Decided to have an early dirt breakfast?"

Sasuke stuck out his tongue and used his teeth to scrape dirt off as he pulled it back in, then spat, even as he put away his kunai and pulled out his canteen to rinse his mouth.

"Ugh," he complained. "What the hell?"

Naruto gave him an incredulous look. "You're the one who stabbed me in the ear. From now on, it's clones or nothing for you, buddy."

"Sorry," Sasuke replied, and he did genuinely sound sorry. "I was having some weird dreams, thought you were… eh, never mind. I'll be more careful."

Naruto gave him an odd look and offered him a hand. Sasuke took it and stood slowly, putting away his canteen. He took a moment to stretch carefully, and then they all started running again.

"No breakfast, huh?" Sasuke asked. "Told you she was useless."

Naruto grumbled even as his stomach growled. "Knowing Sakura, she's probably trying to cook something elaborate to impress you."

"Well, let us hope she's a good cook, then," Hinata said.

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

Sakura met them in the forest as they crossed the red bridge over the stream, loaded down with bento boxes in sacks, nine in total. She'd arrived too late to catch them before they ran up the side of the Hokage monument, and instead ran the opposite direction to catch them as they came back around.

Naruto's eyes lit up with an unholy hunger and he came to a full stop in front of her, his team at his side. "Sakura… I see you did come."

"Sorry!" she said hurriedly. "I was going to make omelettes but we were out of eggs and I had to go get some more, and the first batch I accidentally put in too much salt and had to throw it out. But I thought I might not make it back to see you at lunch so I'd go ahead and make you lunch and dinner, too!" She handed a sack of three boxes to Hinata.

"We owe you," Hinata said simply, quickly digging one of the boxes out and handing it to Naruto.

"That one's actually a lunch, it's got-"

Naruto ate the food so fast it seemed like he simply inhaled it.

"-croquettes and… wow." She trailed off, staring at the blond. He seemed very feral today.

Actually, now that she noticed, all of them seemed more worn, almost shabby in appearance, or maybe shaggy would be more appropriate. Hinata's hair was too long for the style she had been keeping it in, and the boy's positively bristled. But it'd be rude to say something, obviously they hadn't been allowed to shower for several days.

"It was good," Naruto said lamely. His stomach rumbled audibly.

"…Thank you?"

He grinned, showing a lot of white teeth that were maybe just a little too pointed. "No… thank you."

Hinata broke the moment by handing a box to Sasuke, rustling the bag more than was necessary.

"So you've really been running all this time?" Sakura said, turning to Sasuke.

"Hn." He neither confirmed nor denied. He opened the bento and quickly ate a few slices of sweet rolled omelette, then took a bite off a small whole pickle.

"That's so amazing. I'd probably be dead in like a day, if I made it that long. You have incredible stamina, Sasuke-kun," she said, then glanced at Hinata. "Actually, all of you do. I don't know if I could handle some of the things your team does."

Naruto cocked his head sideways, studying her intently. Something red, like a flame, flickered deep in his blue eyes. "As you are, no, you couldn't," he said in frank appraisal.

Her head whipped around back to him, but her protest died on her lips.

"Weakest of our age group. Slowest in our age group. Least chakra. Shy. Even your declared rival Ino beats you in your little contests." Naruto's voice grew louder with each statement.

She blushed and looked away, mutely pleading to Sasuke for help. He paused in his chewing of some rice and kind of shrugged helplessly.

"But you're not useless. Oh, no."

She turned back to him, and her eyes widened. His blue eyes were now red.

"Smartest out of everyone. Gifted with knowledge and foresight. Clever. You could be so much more, Sakura-chan, if you let yourself." His lips pulled back in what should have been a smile but was too predatory for that.

She turned back to him.

"You see, Hinata and Sasuke have an advantage that you don't." He paused and stared her in the eyes.

"Me."

"What do you mean, 'advantage'?" Sakura asked, confused and wary.

"Naruto…" Hinata said in soft protest.

"Show her, Sasuke," Naruto said without looking away from Sakura.

"Naruto, I think Hinata is right, we've got enough things to deal with without telling more people," Sasuke replied.

"Sasuke… this is important. Do the summoning." Naruto's voice was deceptively mild.

Sasuke glanced at Hinata, handed his breakfast back to her, and reluctantly began. A quick, hard bite to his finger produced a few drops of blood, and his hands flashed through the seals of the summoning jutsu.

Naruto smiled and seemed to grow in size, though maybe that was only Sakura's perception. She felt the power lurking within him, and felt that same power ignite in Sasuke, who stiffened, then relaxed.

All of the pains of soreness and lingering tiredness were chased away in that moment, and Sasuke had to admit, he felt a lot better, despite the blood welling up in the corners of his eyes.

"What, what is that?" Sakura asked, her eyes wide.

"A summoning," Naruto answered calmly. "A trade, if you will. Sasuke uses just a little blood, and in return he gets a portion of my strength. I have a lot of chakra, you see. More than you could possibly imagine."

"And… that gives you all that endurance?" she asked, looking from Hinata to Sasuke and back to Naruto.

"**I believe you'll find that simple endurance is the least of the gifts you'll receive.**" The voice was Naruto's and not Naruto's, as the alien urges of the kyubi were brought to the surface.

"I knew he needed blood," Hinata whispered with a soft curse, clenching her hand so tight that her strangely long fingernails bit into her palm.

Naruto glided forward even as red chakra erupted from him, circling behind Sakura even as she dropped the bags and retreated. Her back bumped into his chest and she made a startled squeak.

The amalgamation of Naruto and the Kyubi wrapped arms around her, forearms crossing above and below her breasts, pinning her arms to her sides.

"Naruto!" Sasuke shouted.

Sakura felt his body press against her, wrap around her like a cloak, and the freaky red chakra pricked and burned along her skin, and then there were teeth biting into the junction of her shoulder and neck. The analytical portion of her mind noted that it was right into the meaty trapezius muscle that connected spine, shoulder, and neck.

The much larger, much more frightened portion of her mind was blown away by the essence that Naruto breathed into her body, a warmth like liquid fire, but where it touched there was only pleasure, hot, sweaty, erotic pleasure.

She was hotly aware of Naruto pressed against her, the hard length of his manhood grinding into the cleft of her buttocks, the hard muscle of his arms crossing her chest as she writhed in his grip.

Somewhere in the back of her mind, there was an exchange of concepts almost like a conversation, but held on a level she couldn't process. She was much more concerned with the way her nipples hardened and rubbed across the inside of her bra, the wet fire between her legs, the feel of Naruto's burning breath blowing down her exposed skin into her cleavage. There was so much power, so much strength in that heat, the mind shatteringly incredible pleasure that caressed her from the inside, in places so intimate that she'd never known they existed. She felt like she could run across the world, shatter mountains, part the seas themselves, and she wanted to, she wanted to revel in that power, to rip trees from the earth, to feel someone thrusting roughly into her, to throw them down and ride them and fuck them through the floor.

"S-sha…" she gasped, only for her breath to hitch as she tried to draw in more air.

She wanted to be a goddess, to fear nothing and bow before no one and

not

take

shit

from

ANYONE!

She convulsed in Naruto's arms, shuddering and gasping for breath as things low in her body quivered and clenched in sudden overwhelming lust-

"Shaaa-" she hissed.

Naruto bit deeper and the tiny spike of pain was nothing compared to the sensation welling up deep inside, like a river flooding up out of a well, like there was something in her, something clawing and biting and fighting to get out-

"SHAAaaaa-"

The orgasm hit her with toe curling force, and even Naruto's strength couldn't stop her from somehow rising up, almost throwing her arms wide-

"**SHANNARO!**" she screamed, throwing her arms wide and flinging Naruto off her back like a dirty towel, her bellow of pleasure and triumph and freedom startling birds from the trees for miles around and waking even the laziest of late sleepers.

Naruto wiped blood from his lips with the back of one hand and levitated to his feet using nothing but the immense power of the red chakra that now outlined him. But the chakra wasn't as large, as wild and intangible as it had always been before. It seemed almost.. solid, like fur over corded muscles, a texture you could run your fingers through. He didn't broadcast his power, he hoarded it, kept it close.

"**You had something to say?**" the Kyubi asked, turning its attention back to Sasuke, still frozen halfway through his protest.

Somehow, Sasuke didn't think that questioning the actions of a feral god was that great of an idea.

"…ah…" he mumbled hesitantly, "…me… next?" Two drops of blood fell down from the inside corner of each eye.

The Kyubi laughed, a wordless, soundless thing that seemed to shake the ground itself, but there was no tremor and the leaves did not shake. "**Dry your eyes, My Herald.**"

Sasuke reached up to catch the blood without even thinking, but there was none. His cheeks were clean, his vision clear. It was gone.

Sakura's head suddenly snapped up and she advanced on Sasuke, her intentions clear from the sway of her hip and the sultry, if slightly deranged, smirk on her face.

"You're next," Sakura assured him. "I'm not little miss 'pine from afar' anymore. Unlike Sakura, I know what I want, and I know what you want, and I know how to give you want you want." She leered.

Sasuke actually appeared to be considering the idea, and he didn't look especially reluctant.

Hinata covered her face with her hand in disbelief. Out loud, she asked, "Wait, you're not Sakura?"

Sakura grinned, showing all her teeth. "I am, and I'm not. I am the buried impulses of a lifetime of being a good girl, and let me assure you…" Her eyes gleamed. "I am not a good girl."

"Hn," Sasuke noted.

"**I knew you'd approve.**"

Sakura punched at the air a few times, then held a fist aloft beside her head, reveling in the feeling of freedom Naruto had given her. Years of being picked on had made her shy, even though she didn't deserve being picked on, but Sakura wasn't meant to be shy. A lifetime of being told by her parents to be polite, don't backtalk, don't make trouble, be nice to people, wait your turn…

There's a little rebel in everyone. In Sakura's case, it was more like a chained goliath. But now, that goliath had made a bargain with the Kyubi, and the chains had been thrown off. Now the passive, weak little Sakura was the one in the back of her mind and it was Inner Sakura's turn to drive!

"I'm going to show everyone that Sakura isn't just a little girl to be chided and protected. The next time Ino tries to 'tell' me something, I'm going to dangle her off the Hokage monument by her _ponytail_!"

"If word of this gets out, it could be a problem for all of us!" Hinata said suddenly.

Everyone turned to look at her. Sakura opened and closed her fingers in a wavelike motion, and the sound of her knuckles cracking was loud and threatening.

"Sakura, I know you feel good right now." She forced a laugh. "Believe me, I know. But there's no one for us to fight and plenty of danger. I know this is going to change your life and all, but you've got to keep pretending to be normal when you're around other people, okay? That means you have to go meet with your team and not let them know that anything has happened."

Sakura stared at the leaf hitai-ate that covered Hinata's eyes, and emotions flickered over her face, appearing and disappearing, each blending into the next. Finally, she spoke.

"After all of this time… you want me to go back to hiding?" she growled, and the threat was there. "You can't make me. Not now. Not ever." She stamped at the ground with one foot, and that time the ground did rumble, the very force of her kick driving her foot into the packed dirt and splitting the earth itself.

A crack an inch wide and deep enough to be dark at the bottom spread in jagged darts across the ground, directly between Hinata's legs and continuing for another dozen meters before it stopped.

Hinata took in Naruto's… no, the Kyubi's amused, proud expression as he watched Sakura defy her. Worry, anger, resentment, rage, and hurt flashed through Hinata's thoughts. It was the rage that she grabbed, nurtured, and unleashed, understanding that her very position at Naruto's side was being challenged.

She was _first_.

Her own power ignited in her, and she uncovered her eyes with one swift movement, handing Sasuke's breakfast back to him with her right hand, the arm that had been broken but had set over the past day. The featureless void of her eyes met Sakura's own-

-and then she was there, in front of Sakura, her good hand grabbing her by the throat and pulling the upstart pink bitch to her knees before her.

Sakura gurgled in sudden surprise, her hands flying up to grab at Hinata's wrist, but a warning squeeze on three pressure points in the throat kept her from following through with her intention of tearing Hinata's arm off and beating her to death with it.

Hinata leaned forward slightly and focused her will to kill on Sakura.

"It's wondrous power, but it's not infinite, and it's not unique," she hissed. "If you ever talk to me like that again, I will _end_ you."

Sakura gurgled assent and leapt backwards to her feet when Hinata released her, rubbing her throat thoughtfully.

"Go," Hinata ordered. "Enjoy your freedom if you will. But remember, do not call upon Naruto unless you absolutely need to."

Glaring, Sakura obeyed, running through the trees back into Konoha, ignoring the trail and taking the more direct route. The sound of splintering wood could be heard well after she was out of sight.

"**Well done my vixen**," the Kyubi growled, pleased. "**I chose correctly when I chose you.**"

Hinata, for her part, nearly sagged in relief. Sakura was no Neji, bound with Hyuga customs and Hyuga restraint. Sakura on a Naruto powered berserker streak would alert the entire village to their powers, and that more than anything else that had happened finally alerted her to just how much of himself Naruto lost when he used his powers.

"…Sasuke, I think this is a problem," Hinata whispered.

"He's not in control of himself," Sasuke admitted. "Yeah, okay, maybe we should have read the fine print."

"**Problem? There is no problem! With every drop of life, my power grows**!" he growled in a voice far more than human. "**I feel **_**glorious**_**! Someone throw a pickle at me!**"

Sasuke's half eaten pickle bounced off his face.


	25. Lies Made From Light and Fire: two

Two Narutos raced through the forest on all fours, seeming almost like human sized foxes as they raced along the ground and bounced off trees. One carried Hinata, the other Sasuke, because Naruto was now moving at speeds even Sasuke couldn't match. Instead, Sasuke had his legs wrapped around Naruto's middle from behind, riding him almost like a horse as he fought to keep the wind of their passing from tearing the bento from his hands. Hinata did much the same, though she also held on to Naruto's shoulders and leaned forward to try and reason with him.

Reasoning wasn't working. Naruto didn't have an actual reason for running. He simply felt good. Powerful.

Free.

It was not to last.

As he leapt at a tree, it suddenly reached for him, the wood of the trunk and branches twisting unnaturally as they snatched the two Naruto's out of the air with perfect timing.

The violence of the stop was such that the clone carrying Sasuke died on impact, making Sasuke bounce off the limbs and tumble to the ground in a heap, covered in the remains of his breakfast. The real Naruto lost his breath as a limb caught him across the stomach, doubling him over and sending Hinata flying over his head, then impossibly strong wood wrapped around his arms and legs, pulling him back and holding him prisoner.

Sasuke managed to twist and land on his feet, then leap backwards away from the tree that had killed his Naruto clone, which was still twisting around the remnants of chakra.

Hinata rolled forward once and hit with her feet, skidding for several feet along the ground until she was able to stop and reverse her direction, already channeling chakra to her hands as she sprinted back towards the tree that held Naruto captive.

There was an ANBU there. Black clothes, dull or darkened equipment, and a white mask that didn't seem to indicate any animal in particular, an oddity as ANBU went. He was standing below Naruto, all of his intent focused on the blond.

He was making seals.

"STOP!" Hinata screamed, her mind lighting up with panic.

ANBU were like boogiemen. You knew they were out there, watching you, but you never actually saw them. They were just there. Watching. Waiting.

Ready to pounce on the bad little ninja.

The reason ANBU were so scary was, honestly, due a lot to the nature of their duties. Regular ninja took jobs ranging from spying to guarding, with assassinations against various targets an option at higher ranks. Regular ninja usually fought civilians, or bandits, or militia, or even samurai at times.

ANBU operated against other ninja. Unlike a regular shinobi, who needed to know a range of jutsu, so they could be useful in a wide range of missions, ANBU were trained to evade, track, capture, and kill enemy ninja. Their stealth was better, their techniques more deadly, and they were trained in how to counter ninja techniques.

Actually trained, not left to discover weaknesses on accident. Naruto was in mortal danger.

But many of ANBU's carefully hoarded secrets had been gathered by Konoha's two dojutsu using clans, the Uchiha, and the Hyuga.

This ANBU guy, whoever he was, had an ability to use wood. Indeed, even his weapons and armor were made from it, something that was immediately obvious to Hinata's eyes, and each wooden panel of his armor glowed with chakra, probably as a reinforcement.

Sasuke's attack from the rear, for he'd started moving as soon as he'd saw what she was about to do, would most likely bounce off harmlessly.

Hinata's would not be ignored so easily. Whatever jutsu he'd planned on doing to Naruto, she would stop it.

Her hands glowed with chakra as she closed.

Sasuke's flying kick hit the man in the kidneys, which were apparently unguarded. The ANBU didn't even stumble forward, though his hands changed and flowed through a new set of seals as Sasuke attacked. As the young man rebounded, a sapling burst from the ground beneath him and wrapped him in a painfully awkward hold.

Hinata aimed for a junction in his armor, where it flexed along his short ribs. She thrust her hand forward-

-and awoke three seconds later, her head pounding, and her view curiously inverted. It actually took her a moment to find the ANBU again, though he hadn't moved. She was over thirty feet away, unbound, but slumped upside down against the trunk of another tree, her back only just starting to scream in agony from the impact.

Naruto was wrapped into nearly a cocoon of wood, all of it glowing like mad with chakra as it fought to contain Naruto's Kyubi-fueled strength, but it was apparently up to the task. Only strips of his body showed between the leg thick coils of wood that wrapped him, but more interestingly to her eyes was the way the heavy red chakra of Naruto and the cool white chakra of the wood seemed to war against each other, with the wood never weakening and Naruto never being able to muster the strength to break free.

Whatever abilities this ANBU had were clearly up to the task of restraining Naruto, despite the Kyubi, which would clearly indicate why he was the one to respond.

Her vision, so adept at reading body language and intent, gave her a clear picture of what the ANBU was thinking.

He leaned backwards at a small angle, and just slightly to the right, one hand resting on the hilt of a wooden sword, a bokken. His expression was harder to see through the chakra flowing through his white, wooden ANBU mask, but she could tell one eyebrow was raised and there was a subtle tension across his upper lip as he stared directly at her. He was clearly incredulous that she'd been so stupid as to directly attack an ANBU of Konoha.

"Please don't hurt him," she gasped out as she struggled to turn over. Her arms and legs felt limp and shaky. "I was about to get him under control, I swear!"

It was no great leap of logic for her to figure out why an ANBU had suddenly appeared. With the knowledge gained from her father about the Hyuga that had been watching them, and concern over their mental health from their rather disastrous mission, she'd been worried about official notice from the moment Naruto had started leaking the Kyubi's chakra in unrestrained glee and tugged them all into an impromptu run through the forest, if they hadn't noticed even sooner with Sakura. She didn't know, but she'd been expecting it, and with the way the Kyubi was feared… Hinata was nearly close to complete panic, and the tears secretly soaking into the cloth backing of her hitai-ate were not all for her pain.

"Really." It was the first word the ANBU man had spoken since he'd arrived, and it was delivered in a calm, neutral tone of voice, though it carried just enough of a hint to tell her he didn't believe her.

"Really!" she gasped, pushing herself to her hands and knees. It was a lot harder than it should be. He must have hit some pressure points when he hit her, or perhaps a technique.

Or maybe he'd just smacked her really really hard.

Sasuke gurgled something from his position in the tangle of limbs from the small tree that had grabbed him, his back bent at a painful angle, his arms imprisoned behind him, and his head bent back even farther, with a piece of wood looped tightly around his throat. He was able to breathe, but shallowly, just barely enough that he didn't lose consciousness. Chakra flowed through the wood, making it far too strong for the genin to break.

Perhaps that was why he hadn't attempted to capture her? She would probably be able to break that wood with pulses of her own chakra…

"I was going to close his tenketsu," Hinata explained, getting one foot, then the other, beneath her and pushing herself upright, despite the protests of her body. She swayed and had to put one hand out to the tree to steady herself.

Naruto often advocated pretending to be hurt more than you really were if you'd taken a major blow, to make the enemy underestimate you, but she didn't have the luxury of pretending. Her body was one big bruise, and Naruto's chakra had only began to dull the pain and heal the damage.

The ANBU cocked his head deliberately, making a show of considering her words. "So you know that we cannot allow Uzumaki-kun to run loose, broadcasting his special brand of chakra wherever he wants?"

"Yes," she replied, her heart sinking. What could more could she say? To say he'd called on it deliberately could have terrible consequences, but saying it had overwhelmed him could be even worse. They were in a bad, bad situation.

"You do know that his use of that power is in direct conflict with the orders that Hokage-sama gave him five days ago?"

"The fault is mine, ANBU-san." Her voice firmed even as she bowed deeply in apology. "I take full responsibility." Hopefully, he would let her take that responsibility. Protected as she was by her importance in her clan, her punishment would almost certainly be less severe than what they would do to Naruto. This was why she'd fought so hard to secure her position as heir, so she could use her influence to protect Naruto. It was her privilege, and honor, to be able to help him.

"..hhhwee sshould hhave wa'ched… closs'r," Sasuke gasped, twitching.

"So you take responsibility for his actions? That is a serious matter, Hyuga-san, Uchiha-san."

She stopped an involuntary twitch. He was showing her a little respect, indicating he took her claims seriously. "Yes, ANBU-san. Sasuke and I agreed to help him obey Hokage-sama's orders."

A lie, but it sounded good.

"This is our failing, and I beg you for the chance to correct it. We guided him away from the village so we could resolve the matter within the team. Please, allow us to bring Naruto back to himself." She didn't have to act to put desperate pleading in her voice, though she picked her words with care. They had no more been able to guide Naruto than they could have guided the wind, he had picked the forest over the town, and Kakashi had once made it clear that he expected them to at least attempt to handle issues themselves before they brought them to him, so she hoped the ANBU would buy her reasoning.

The ANBU didn't betray his thoughts any more, simply staring at her. She grew more nervous under that cold gaze.

"He's not the Kyubi!" she blurted suddenly. "It's just some chakra! Naruto-kun isn't evil!"

The man shrugged, as if that was self evident. "Obviously. If he was truly ridden by the Nine Tails, all of Konoha would have felt his malice and evil intent." His tone darkened and his voice grew quieter. "I was there. I remember." His voice lightened. "No, if he was truly possessed by the greatest evil the world has ever known, more than I would be here to deal with it, and there would be no talking."

Hinata gasped in sudden realization. Naruto, for all that his words had echoed with the deep in-mind sense of power of the Kyubi, had not acted like the demon god. Gods did not make little jokes or carry their friends on a wild run through the forest for the fun of it.

Naruto did. Naruto… influenced by something that made him lose his mind and toss away rational thought. She almost fell over in relief.

The ANBU chuckled. "I can tell from your reaction that you had your own doubts, but no. This isn't an official mission to deal with a rampaging demon, this is… a favor to the students of my sempai and former Captain, before it got out of control and you got in _real_ trouble. "

Her heart lifted as she realized that Kakashi-sensei's influence was about to give her the time she needed to _fix_ this mess.

"Okay, I'll let you do what you have to do."

Hinata stumbled forward, pathetically grateful to the ANBU.

He had all the power, and they had none, but he would grant them the chance to help Naruto.

"I, uh, I need to be able to talk to him, and touch him," she explained hesitantly as she stood in front of Naruto, the ANBU having backed off to one side, watching them carefully.

He didn't nod, but he did form a seal, and the wood uncoiled from around Naruto like a giant python, except for four branches that remained wrapped tightly around his wrists and ankles that lowered and held him spread out, his feet just above the ground.

No longer gagged and covered from head to toe, Naruto growled menacingly at the ANBU, a deep, hair raising sound that stroked every primal human urge to run and hide from the things that hunted in the night. His chakra, red and wild, flickered and lashed, and the wood creaked audibly as he strained at the wooden bonds that held him. The scent of scorching wood filled the air, and even Hinata gulped nervously at the rage and killing intent flashing in Naruto's eyes. He flexed both muscles and chakra, and for a moment the wood seemed like it gave a little…

And then Naruto hung limp for a moment, drained by the effort. It would be a few minutes before he could make that level of attempt again.

The ANBU didn't seem bothered in the least. "Save it, kid. I saw the real deal. You may think you're hot shit right now, but no matter how much chakra you have, you're still just a genin."

"Naruto?" Hinata asked, keeping the trembling out of her voice.

His eyes flicked to hers, then back to the ANBU, and he growled some more, a sound human throats weren't meant to produce.

"Naruto, I'm going to close your tenketsu now. You have to stop using the Kyubi's chakra." She reached out and put her hand on his chest, feeling his wild heartbeat even through his clothes.

He looked back at her. "**I feel fine. Free me… and we can take this man.**"

Her heart fell once again. She could free him, of course. The wood had flaws, she could see that, and she knew how to counter the chakra, but Naruto should know that even as they were, perhaps especially as they were, there was no way they could take the ANBU. To try would be to invite more disaster. She probably wasn't thinking very clearly when she'd reflexively attacked the man herself, and had allowed herself to panic.

Naruto's mind, his most deadly weapon, was made useless by the damned Kyubi's leaking power. "Naruto…" she began, searching for words. She pushed her hitai-ate up onto her forehead, revealing her solid black eyes, which seemed to bore into him.

"**Release me!**" he ordered.

Hinata glanced away, feeling helpless. She wanted to obey, but that would be the wrong thing to do.

The ANBU made a seal and suddenly Sasuke was able to flop out of his prison, rubbing at his throat and taking great gulps of air, wiping blood from his still bleeding eyes from his forehead and eyebrows, where it had dripped since his head was upside down.

Hinata looked at the ANBU, surprised.

He shrugged. "He can't be saved by just one man. Or woman."

She jerked in sudden memory. Kakashi had told her that, once. It was right after the test they'd all taken to prove themselves worthy of being his students.

Sasuke spoke up. "Hey, Naruto," he said seriously.

Naruto's red, slit pupiled eyes turned towards him.

"Listen to Hinata, alright? You know her. She only does what's right for you." Sasuke held his demonic gaze unflinchingly.

Hinata spoke. "Naruto, remember the bell test Kakashi gave us? The real one? It's like when you were under that genjutsu, you're not thinking clearly. You have to trust me."

Astonishingly, she could actually see his eyes clear, and his chakra pulsed for a moment. He did remember.

"**…Really?**" he asked.

She nodded quickly.

He closed his eyes and nodded. "**Do it.**"

She nodded once more, relieved. He trusted her. Even with everything else gone, he still believed in her.

There was no need to take a stance. She had all the time in the world, and she was going to do it right. Her fingers glided carefully across his body, darting in with a spike of chakra from her fingertips to interrupt the chakra flow in his coils and seal a tenketsu.

She couldn't seal them, all, not without potentially killing him, and the shock of even having half sealed could send him into cardiac arrest. But she could seal many of them, especially the ones around his belly, where the Kyubi lurked in that strange other dimension, and the ones around his head, cutting of the tainted chakra from his brain.

Even taking her time, it took less than a minute.

Naruto sagged in his restraints, barely able to keep his sky blue eyes open.

"Naruto, remember, you can't call on your chakra," she said softly, willing him to get the intent behind her words. Everyone's tenketsu would eventually reopen on their own, but Naruto could will his open with a burst of chakra. It was really important that he didn't do so, especially in front of the ANBU.

"Woooo," Naruto replied, his head flopping back and forth. "Wow. What happened? I don't remember anything."

The ANBU spoke up. "Faking memory loss does not excuse your actions."

Naruto hesitated, then shrugged, rolling his shoulders. "…worth a shot," he mumbled.

"How much do you remember?" Hinata asked, worried about his mental state.

He winced. "Honestly, no kidding, not that much, except for pickles and…" he hesitated, remembering Sakura quivering in his arms, "…stuff, and there for a while it felt like I had the entire forest sitting on me. That was weird."

"You made some stupid decisions," Hinata informed him bluntly.

Naruto took a moment to look around. Hinata had tear streaks running down her cheeks, and was moving stiffly. Sasuke had just been released from an animated sapling and was only now getting his breath back. There was an ANBU ninja standing to one side, watching them. Naruto was tied up with a tree.

"…Yeah, I kinda got that," he admitted.

"Well," the ANBU said with false cheer. "Aren't we all glad that's over."

All three of them turned to look at him, and it was clear from the looks on their faces that not one of them thought it was over.

"Sempai was right. None of you have a sense of humor," the ANBU complained.

They still just looked at him.

He shrugged. "So, do you want your beating now, or would you like to try option B?"

They glanced at each other. Hinata started to open her mouth, but was cut off by the ANBU.

"Actually, I lied. I don't have an option B. I could go ask the Hokage, see what he thinks a good option B would be…"

Naruto suddenly laughed, a sharp, harsh sound utterly devoid of humor.

Everyone looked at him like he'd just farted.

He shrugged. "He said we didn't have a sense of humor. Couldn't let that pass."

The ANBU seemed to smile. "Comment retracted."

Naruto stared at him for a moment, clearly thinking hard. "They didn't do anything," he said finally. "I'll take my punishment as you see fit."

"Well, no, actually, you're the innocent party in this."

Naruto blinked. "…what?" he asked in an almost plaintive voice. "Now, see, that doesn't even make sense." He paused.

"_How out of it was I that it's _not_ my fault?_"

"Sasuke and I have taken full responsibility for not being able to stop the Kyubi's chakra from overwhelming you. As we said we would, remember." Hinata's gaze bored into him.

The ANBU coughed slightly and looked away, allowing her to maintain the polite fiction.

Naruto gaped at her, then shook his head. "And you said _I_ made some dumb decisions."

"You understate the issue, Naruto-kun," the ANBU said seriously. "Hinata and Sasuke attacked an ANBU with lethal intent. I would be within my rights to kill them both. And they have taken responsibility for your actions, so your punishment is transferred to them."

Naruto's blood ran cold. Both Hinata and Sasuke remained still, their faces stony.

The man stood up straighter. "You can save the threats, Naruto. We'll keep this just between us, no need to get the Hokage involved. Think of it as… a stern warning."

Hinata lifted her chin slightly and stared directly at the ANBU, almost challenging him. "I am ready."

She said she was ready, but she didn't feel ready. Her palms were sweaty. Her pulse pounded in her ears. Her breath came shallow and fast. Her heartbeat sped up.

Her mouth was dry. Terribly dry. She almost pulled out her canteen. Why was she so thirsty?

"Then come, stand in front of me." His voice held no emotion.

Naruto made a strangled sound in his throat and tugged hard on his bonds, then visibly stopped, shuddered, and took a breath, fighting for control.

There was no more joking. Hinata stood in front of the masked ANBU, her legs spread to shoulder width, her hands at her sides. Defenseless.

The first uppercut punch caught her in the solar plexus, and she crumpled around his fist, gasping for air that wouldn't come. When he pulled his fist back, she sank to her knees, coughing and gasping, her arms wrapped protectively around her ribs.

"Get up."

Still fighting for breath, she stood, dimly aware that Naruto had made some sort of sound, though if he'd said something she didn't understand it.

No sooner had she gotten to her feet than he kicked her in the side of her lower leg with bone jarring force, sweeping both feet out from under her so she spun in the air and landed hard on her side.

"Up."

Again, she rose, feeling like her leg was nearly broken. The next blow took her just under her floating ribs on her side, the same spot she'd aimed for on him. Then he hit her in the ear, and all sound was lost, drowned out by the sudden ringing. Her ear felt like it was on fire, and she made her first sound of pain, a short, high keen she quickly choked off.

A palm edge strike to the outside of her hip shouldn't have hurt that much, but it did, and she went down for the third time, rolling away from the pain in her hip and quickly scrambling to her feet again, knowing it wasn't over.

He made to punch her in the stomach, and she couldn't help it. She cringed, guarding her stomach with her hands.

He stopped.

"No, no. Let's do this right," he said mildly.

She whimpered, then. It was a moment before she was able to get enough control over herself to stand straight and put her hands at her sides again, her hands clenched.

"Straighter. And relax."

Her shoulders shook, and tears sprang from her black eyes, but she stood just slightly straighter and forced her hands to unclench.

"Straighter… straighter…" he coaxed.

She heard another noise from Naruto, possibly her name.

"Relax those stomach muscles."

Slowly, painfully, she did just that.

The two knuckle punch caught her just above her pelvis, right in the pit of the stomach. It was the same place she'd kneed Ino once, a long time ago. She folded up and retched noisily, sinking to her knees again, but there was nothing in her stomach.

Naruto screamed, then stopped.

It took her a minute to get to her feet again after that one, and she understood that that was as much of the punishment as the physical blows. It hurt as much to get up and face the next blow as it did to be hit.

He backhanded her twice across the face, and she spit blood, her head swimming. Then he made her stand there as he circled around, and she whimpered again, knowing what was coming next. There was a pressure point along the lower spine that could cause intense pain. Knowing didn't make the blow, when it came, any easier.

Her mouth opened in a soundless scream as she reached back with one hand in an ineffectual gesture and pitched forward into the dirt to writhe in agony.

"**NOOOO! I WILL KILL YOU!**" Naruto roared, angry red chakra flaring to life around him as he strained against the wood. It actually creaked for a moment, and then more branches were snaking around his arms and legs, and even his neck and waist to insure he couldn't burst free.

"Ah, it looks like Naruto-kun's red chakra is back. I'm afraid your technique didn't stick. If you would care to repeat the treatment…" he said, gesturing at the blond boy twitching in his restraints as he fought to break free and savage the masked man.

It took Hinata several long minutes to get up, and even then she was only able to stagger painfully over to Naruto, whose ferocious, demonic gaze seemed to both soften and get more enraged when he looked at her.

She did her duty and closed his tenketsu once again, sealing more of them this time. Hopefully, it would help with his control.

Naruto sagged, barely able to open his eyes. "Hinata-chan," he whispered, his voice strained.

"It's okay, Naruto-kun," she whispered. "It's a test for you. You have to control yourself."

He nodded, tears streaming down his own face.

She patted him on the cheek, then turned and returned to stand before the ANBU.

"Since we messed up, let's start over. We'll take it from the top."

She wasn't the one who sobbed.

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Hinata woke up for the second time that day, leaned against the trunk of the tree that formed Naruto's shackles, her head pounding and her mouth coppery with blood. Naruto hung limply from the tree, his eyes fixed on the white masked ANBU who was currently kicking Sasuke in the kidneys as he twitched and grunted in pain on the ground.

He drew back his foot for the finishing kick to the head, then stopped and stood back before he sent the Uchiha into blissful unconsciousness.

Of course, as Hinata had discovered, as much fun as it was to be knocked out at the end of your brutal beating, the resulting wakeup was a bitch, so maybe Sasuke was getting off lightly.

The ANBU walked over to stand, looking down at both she and Naruto.

"Thank you," she croaked, honestly grateful. As much as it had hurt, and it had hurt, it was nothing compared to what any of them had gone through at times, much less their temple adventure. "Kakashi-sensei hits harder," she added, not as an insult.

"Yes, Sempai always did." He sounded like he spoke from experience, and he probably did. "Kakashi-sempai's hands off approach to teaching never did extend to an unwillingness to hit a team member who deserved it."

"Kakashi-sensei is more subtle, too," Naruto said weakly. Repeated closing of his tenketsu, and having all of his chakra shut off, had left him feeling not unlike he'd been the recipient of a beating as well.

The ANBU laughed at that. "Yes, yes, that he is. I could never match his gift for subtle lessons. But, I'm effective in my own way."

Naruto nodded helplessly. Yeah, he got the message.

Forming a seal, the ANBU caused the tree to unwind from Naruto's body again and sit him gently down on his feet. "You three are a good team. I know you'll never hear it from him, yourself, but Kakashi thinks well of you. Don't disappoint him."

Naruto staggered, his muscles feeling like jelly. Not having chakra flowing through his coils was an altogether new and unpleasant experience. He wondered if this was what chakra exhaustion felt like, and felt a whole new respect for people who actually had limited chakra. He only dimly registered what the ANBU had said, but it was enough to have his jaw sagging in shock.

"Well, now that we understand each other, I'll let you get back to running." He gave them a casual wave, and disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

And they were left to pick each other up, dust each other off, and run, as best as they were able.

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Far enough away to be out of sight of even Hinata's eyes, he hoped, Tenzo stopped on a limb and sagged against the trunk for a second, closing his eyes as he dealt with his own wave of pain.

He was almost hesitant to do it, but eventually he turned slightly and peeled back the black cloth covering the pale wood of his armor panel, noting ruefully that despite being wood formed by his mokuton jutsu and 'alive' with his chakra, which made it harder to break than steel, it had shattered into splinters, some of which had been driven through the under padding into his flesh.

And that was the least of the damage. There was a deep cut, more of a stab, really, as wide as a young girl's palm, right through his side, fortunately just low enough to miss his spleen and his other critical organs, although he'd be going to the ANBU medic shortly. He'd been lucky, he knew, and luckier still to know a technique for stopping blood flow in the middle of battle so he didn't give himself away.

"God _damn_, Kakashi," Tenzo said in exasperation, but admiringly at the same time, "You need to stop understating these things."

For a genin to get such a blow on the man in charge of ANBU…

Kakashi hadn't been kidding when he called them his cute little wild dogs.

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Hinata and Sasuke both ran awkwardly, given that their bodies were a mass of bruises, but, ironically, Naruto suffered more, even on the purely physical level.

Watching Hinata get repeatedly hit until _he_ was the one to finally get too exhausted and full of despair to muster up the rage that sent Kyubi's chakra flooding through his body again had left tears of shame and self loathing rolling down his cheeks. However, that had nothing to do with running.

Getting only a few hours of sleep one night because his girlfriend's dad had her cousins beat the hell out of him, running and fighting all day, then running for the next thirty some odd hours with no sleep so that he was only running on chakra had a lot to do with his condition.

Especially when that chakra was repeatedly cut off by his girlfriend repeatedly closing his tenketsu. The fingertip bruises left on top of each tenketsu didn't help matters either. He'd been so used to healing from minor bruises in minutes and always being able to rely on chakra pumping up his muscles that it made running just on muscle strength alone a very unpleasant experience.

He didn't complain, though. Considering that the ANBU had cruelly left him out of the punishment, he felt he couldn't.

So he kept up as best he was able, despite the steadily building ache in his legs and the burning in his chest. When his eyelids drooped, he bit the inside of his cheek, and when his steps faltered to the point he stumbled, he made a conscious effort to pick his feet up higher with each stride.

Despite his pain, and his exhaustion, the main thing on his mind was anger.

Not anger at the ANBU, faceless in the white mask.

Anger at himself, for putting them in that situation. With his mind clear of chakra, if not exhaustion, he could easily see how foolish and out of control he had been. Just the day before… or was it two days ago? He couldn't remember. But earlier, they'd commented on how much the Kyubi's chakra was affecting him. He'd thought he could just will it away, or burn the chakra until it was gone. But he had too much. Even running all the time hadn't drained it completely, and then he'd needed it, so he called more up, and he'd called up more than he could put down.

What a fuck up.

Naruto had never hated himself more than at that moment, though the time the Hokage had chewed him out came close.

He stole glances at his team, and he noticed that their visible bruises had already faded, turning an ugly greenish color, meaning they were healing. So at least they still had some of his chakra, and were healing pretty quick. That was good.

And at least this had caused him to rethink things, just like the asschewing.

Yes, he'd rethink things, and he'd come out better than ever.

Stronger.

Wiser.

Smarter.

Hopefully, it wouldn't lead to another embarrassing crying jag on Sasuke's shoulder.

Hell, he couldn't even muster up the chakra to do a henge.

Was this what everyone else felt like when they got tired?

Running out of chakra?

Wow, this really sucked.

He had a whole new respect for the hardships everyone else had to overcome.

Because being out of chakra SUCKED.

Hinata… wow. She must have hurt so much in those early training sessions.

He'd been completely inconsiderate. Damn. She hadn't been weak willed, she'd been dealing with the limits of her own body.

Hell, now he really felt like a jerk.

Damn. Was he really that much of an asshole?

He pondered the question for a while.

Reluctantly, he concluded that he probably was.

Damn.

Ah, hell, what was he going to do about Sakura?

Two minds? That was just weird.

"So… Does it count as a threesome if the girl has two minds?" he wondered aloud.

Their steps faltered for a moment, and Sasuke shook his head. "Your ability to shrug off even the worst possible events with a joke never ceases to amaze me." He didn't sound all that amused.

Naruto shrugged helplessly, aware of that aspect of his personality. "You know that place they talk about when they say, 'Yeah, I went there?' _That's where I live_."

Sasuke glanced at him, frowning. "You know that place that the ANBU guy kicked me three times? _That's where my balls were._ So shut up."

Feeling even worse, Naruto shut up.

Hinata glanced at him a few times, but, truthfully, she was hurting enough to not be all that sympathetic. She loved him with all her heart, but she had to agree with the ANBU. Naruto really needed to think twice before he did anything like that again.

Or better yet, just not do it at all.

Still, when Naruto's legs finally couldn't take it and he almost fell, both of them reached to pull him back upright before he ate dirt, and supported him between them.

Their 'run' speed slowed to a miserable crawl, barely more than a walk.

Enemy ninja could have them for free.

Team Seven was officially at the wall.

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Tenten walked alongside Lee and Neji, a small bag of mail slung over her shoulders. Beside her, Lee limped along stiffly, his expression carefully neutral, though she knew he had to be hurting quite a bit. He'd spent a night and almost all of the previous day in the hospital due to the incredible strain he'd inflicted on himself using the gates.

Neji had only left the hospital the day before as well, though he seemed curiously well healed considering the injury he'd had. He didn't discuss it.

Gai had met with them all, individually, and had few words with them. She didn't know what he said to Lee, but the lanky boy had been unusually somber since then, apparently lost in thought. Neji, on the other hand, seemed almost at peace with himself.

For herself, she wasn't sure what to think about Gai's pronouncement that Naruto was a very intelligent, very perceptive young man who they could learn a number of lessons from, both in how and how not to be a great ninja.

But she got the feeling he agreed with Naruto's statement that she should stop hiding behind her teammates and start walking in front.

Then, despite their injuries, and an admonishment from the doctor that they weren't fit for training or duty, Gai had left them all with a series of missions that they were to do while he was away. Boring, repetitive D rank tasks that weren't physically pleasant, but weren't very taxing, either, such as secure mail delivery.

Apparently, the members of Team Seven weren't the only ones Gai was angry with.

Obviously, the easiest, fastest, most intelligent way to deliver mail was to split the load and everyone go their separate ways. Neji proposed it. Lee didn't argue.

Tenten overruled them. They would deliver the mail together, as a team.

And so they did.

She was as surprised as they were.

And so they found themselves staring at a picture, a polaroid type quick snapshot of a lean man in a green jounin's vest with one eye covered by a Konoha hitai-ate and the other squinted in a smile. His hair seemed to skewed to one side, and while one arm was apparently reaching out, holding the camera, his other arm was wrapped around the waist of an irritated looking woman in light grey ninja armor, a cream colored cloak, and a Mist forehead protector keeping her dark brown bangs out of her eyes. There was some sort of pale white round thing on the back of her head and neck, maybe a mask worn backwards, but it was hard to be sure from the angle. Her face was kind of angular, almost predatory, but there was a certain gleam to her eyes and her one visible hand rested near a sword hilt attached to her waist, though it didn't seem to have a blade.

Across the wide white strip at the bottom of the picture, someone had scrawled 'Wish you were her' in permanent ink. On the back, in large letters across the top, it said, 'Deliver to Naruto Uzumaki, Hinata Hyuga, or Uchiha Sasuke.' Under that was apparently a personal message, and despite being written out in the open, none of the three read it.

"Well this sucks," Lee opinioned, looking over her shoulder.

She groaned slightly. "Gai probably gave us this duty so we'd have to talk to them."

"Not impossible," Neji agreed.

Reluctantly, they made their way to the edge of the village and waited for them to run by.

It came something as a surprised when the hateful trio limped into view.

And slowly, painfully made their way down the road towards them.

Lee gasped involuntarily.

To put it simply, they looked bad. Between the lack of showering, the slow, painful movements, and the greenish yellow bruises Sasuke and Hinata were covered with, they really looked like someone had beaten the shit out of them about two days previous.

And, yeah, Tenten and Lee had gotten their hits in, mostly Lee. But not that bad.

"That's going too far, Gai-sensei," Tenten whispered in protest.

"Are you okay?" Lee asked suddenly, startling the others so that they stumbled and nearly fell, swaying in place.

"Huh?" Naruto said cleverly.

"Didn't you see us?" Tenten asked.

After a whispered conference, they reluctantly admitted they had not.

Then the smell, wafting along behind them, hit. It smelled like a mission.

No, it smelled worse than any mission they'd ever been on. Days old sweat and blood and fear and pain.

"You guys haven't showered or changed clothes?" she asked, reaching forward and poking at a blood stain on Naruto's shirt with one finger.

He flinched back, even as the others half dodged, and fell on his ass.

"Ah… dang…" he said tiredly.

"We've been running," Hinata explained to no one.

"All this time?" Lee asked incredulously. "You haven't slept or anything?"

Sasuke thought about correcting his assumption, admitting to passing out for a while earlier, but decided it was too much effort. Hinata skipped the thinking itself as too much effort, and Naruto's eyes were apparently focused on a fascinating spot about six inches to the right of Neji's right knee.

"Who have you been fighting?" Neji asked, not forgetting the healing powers of the Kyubi's chakra.

All three flinched. Naruto grew more aware, and wiped at his face with one grubby hand.

"Not fighting," he said with quiet, bitter humor. "Punishment. My punishment, they suffered."

"Gai-sensei?" Tenten asked, her voice rising.

"What? Where?" Naruto asked, glancing around. "Shit, we'd better keep running." He levered himself to his feet, helped at the last minute by Hinata.

"No, did Gai-sensei do this?"

Naruto shook his head. "The bruises? No that was… what was that mask, Sasuke?"

"ANBU," Hinata supplied helpfully.

"Yeah, ANBU." Naruto shook his head. "Well, uh, we should be running." He started forward, but Tenten blocked his path.

"How long?" Lee interrupted.

Naruto blinked. "Uh, day and a half?"

Lee gaped. "You have to run for another day and a half?"

Naruto blinked again. "No, uh, I thought you were asking how long we had been running. He didn't tell us how long we had to, just to do it. He'll come back… eventually." Naruto shrugged.

"Gai-sensei had a mission to the capital!" Lee exclaimed.

"…oh. I guess we have a while, then."

Lee exchanged looks with Tenten, identical thoughts crossing their minds.

That was too much, even for what they had done.

"Anyway, we stopped you because we have mail for you," Tenten announced, getting back to business. "It's from your sensei." She pulled the postcard out and handed it to Naruto.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Hinata asked, perking up. Though she had her eyes covered, she still had demonic chakra in her and was able to see without difficulty.

"Is he dead?" Sasuke leaned over and looked over Naruto's shoulder as he stared blankly at the picture, then turned it over, glanced at the back, and turned it back over to stare blankly at their teacher and the strange Mist kunoichi.

"No…" Naruto said slowly. "He's still alive… But it explains nothing." He turned it back over so they could read the note.

The note on the back said: Yo! Your sensei thought he would take a moment to let you know he is (regrettably) still among the living. Wouldn't want you cute little genins to worry! I'm in good company, as you can see. Hunter-chan is taking good care of me. Try not to burn down anything too valuable, or maim anyone too important, while I'm away.

P.S. Don't forget to water the plants, Naruto!

The P.S. was followed by a little one eyed happy face with a mask and unkempt hair.

"Ah! My bonsai trees!" Naruto said with a tired curse.

"I didn't see any bonsai trees," Sasuke replied with a thoughtful frown.

"They're in the closet," Naruto explained.

"Ah." Sasuke lost interest.

"Ano… why do you have your plants in the closet?" Lee asked.

Naruto stared at him for a moment.

"You ask difficult questions, Lee," he said finally.

Lee and Tenten exchanged looks.

"Well, thanks for the mail," Naruto continued. "But we should be running."

"No, you shouldn't," Tenten replied. "Look at you! You can barely stand, much less run. Look, just go home or something. Get some sleep, get a shower. We'll talk to Sensei when he gets back. This is too much."

Naruto winced. "No offense… but you're not in charge. Gai-sensei is. We can't just stop because you said so."

"How about stopping because you're about to collapse from exhaustion?" Tenten countered, her hands on her hips.

"I don't think I get to do that, either," Naruto replied.

She sighed, admitting that it was probably true. Ninja didn't get to abandon missions just because they were tired. "So, let me ask you," she continued. "Knowing that you'd get in trouble… was it worth it?"

He shrugged. "We knew we were going to get in trouble. Didn't see any way around it. The only question was who and how much. Yeah, I screwed up, but…" He shrugged again, then met her eyes. "Before, I saw three individuals. Now… I see a team."

"I see kodama crawling in and out of the ground," Sasuke admitted. "But I think that's lack of sleep."

"I see the vast plutonian aether between the angles of our reality," Hinata added, not wanting to be left out.

"I… see…" Tenten said slowly. "You know, you're right. We should probably get back to our duties, too." She exchanged looks with her teammates.

"Thank you for your concern," Hinata said politely, bowing to them. Naruto caught her before she pitched forward.

"Hinata-sama," Neji said suddenly, before the trio ran off again.

Her head twitched around to present him with the metal face of her forehead protector.

"I discovered a solution to our mutual problem with our eyes," he said quietly, restraining the urge to smirk.

"Oh, that hit you, too, huh?" Naruto murmured softly.

Neji nodded slightly. "Yes. I did not want to waste chakra at the time, so I sealed the tenketsu around my eyes. I thought you might find some utility in my solution, Hinata-sama."

"…" Hinata said cleverly.

Naruto squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head away.

Neither Lee nor Tenten understood what they were talking about, but Lee felt some sympathy for Hinata anyway. He knew what it was like when Neji said something really smart and you didn't know why.

Hinata finally nodded slightly to Neji in reluctant acknowledgement.

"Thank you, cousin Neji," she said stiffly, bowing in thanks. "Although my hands are shaking too much to attempt your solution at the moment, I will try it at the earliest possible moment."

Neji bowed deeply. "My place is to serve."

Hyuga were trained to have nearly perfect control over their expressions. Not even a ghost of a smile flitted across his lips.

They slowly continued their run.

"Genius, huh?" Sasuke added with a smirk, once they were out of hearing range.

"I knew there was a reason we oppress the branch house," she muttered.

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"It's Gai-sensei!" Lee cried, darting forward in his eagerness to see his teacher.

They'd completed their mail delivery, though after seeing Team Seven, they'd moved a little quicker. Lee was still pretty sore, but compared to the others, he felt sort of bad for limping, so he'd let his mind reach the floating, disconnected feeling of hard training and moved faster.

Tenten had also suggested they split up to make it faster, since they actually had a reason to hurry, and they'd agreed. It'd taken less than an hour to finish the task and meet up back at the Hokage tower.

And there was Gai. He looked tired.

"Gai-sensei! You look tired," Lee said.

"And you are as youthful as ever, Lee-kun," he replied. He was sitting on a bench in the entry hall of the tower, his elbows on his knees. His hands were scuffed and bleeding.

"How long have you been back?" Lee asked.

"Just long enough to turn in my mission. I believe I will soon get a shower, and perhaps some lunch. Have you three had lunch?" he asked turning to Tenten and Neji. "Remember, your youthful bodies are growing, and need nutrition."

"Yes, Gai-sensei!" Lee answered. "We have not eaten yet, we were completing the task you set for us."

"Oh? That's good."

"Gai-sensei…" Tenten began.

Lee immediate closed his mouth.

Gai raised one bushy eyebrow.

"Did you… did you really intend for Team Seven to run all night and all day until they dropped?" she blurted, looking anxious.

His expression hardened. "Did they stop running?"

"No!" she replied quickly. "That's just it, they're still running! They can barely put one foot in front of another, and they're all beaten up, but they're still running! Sensei, that's too much!" she protested.

His expression softened, but didn't relax completely. "Tenten-chan, they attacked you three."

"But they didn't hurt us," she protested once more.

"My injuries were my own fault," Lee added.

There was a pause.

Lee blinked.

There was another pause.

Everyone turned to look at Neji.

"What?" he asked.

"…Anyway," Tenten continued, slightly embarrassed, "haven't they been punished enough?"

Gai held her gaze. "I don't know, have they?"

"Yes!" Lee cried.

"Yes," Tenten agreed.

"_Yes…_" Neji added, savoring the memories.

"Okay. I'll see all of you at training ground twenty three, seven AM tomorrow morning." He nodded at them and got to his feet.

"Yes, Gai-sensei," they more or less chorused.

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

Gai found Kakashi's students on the uphill slope of the Hokage monument, struggling mightily to put one foot in front of the other and lurch up the hill. Hinata was half crawling, and it was taking both Naruto and Sasuke to pull her farther up the mountain. He stood there for a minute, watching them struggle for each foot in altitude.

"You're done," he finally announced.

They were all so shocked by his sudden appearance, at least to them, that they all fell over. Actually, Hinata simply flopped forward. Between her exhaustion and her face pressing down into the gravel on the side of the mountain, her breathing changed to loud snores.

"Gai-sensei…?" Naruto said, clearly having trouble focusing.

"I said you're done. You can go home and get some sleep now."

"Thank you, Sensei," Sasuke said, enunciating clearly from his seated position on the ground. Then his head fell backwards into the dirt.

Naruto stared at him for a moment, then poked him in the side.

Sasuke didn't move.

Naruto looked up at the jounin in green, worry writ plain in his expression.

Gai's face softened. "This clears all debts. Clean slate."

"Yes, Gai-sensei," Naruto said, nodding. He pushed himself to his feet, braced against the angle, and formed a seal. "Kage bunshin no jutsu."

Instantly, a single clone of himself appeared to his side. However, there was something wrong with it. It seemed pale, almost insubstantial, and he could swear the very edges of its being wobbled in and out.

The clone looked down at itself, looked at Sasuke and Hinata passed out on the ground, then looked at Naruto.

"Hah ha hah… no."

Then it dispelled.

Naruto blinked astonishment for several moments.

"…Wow, that's never happened before." He remembered that he wasn't supposed to be using any Kyubi chakra, but his tenketsu had reopened nearly an hour previous, and it wasn't like he could do anything with no chakra at all. And given how tired he was, going on a demonic rampage was the last thing he wanted. But apparently, even something as basic as making a shadow clone was beyond him.

Shrugging painfully, Naruto reached down and started pulling his teammates into an over the shoulder carry.

"Naruto-kun, if you need help, I can carry you all to your homes," Gai said gently.

The look Naruto gave him, though silent, clearly said that Naruto neither expected, nor wanted, help.

Gai watched anxiously as Naruto precariously balanced his load, one over each shoulder, and staggered back down the mountain, stumbling once or twice but never quite dropping his teammates. As Naruto headed for the town, he followed discretely, but not once did Naruto ever show any sort of indication that he couldn't do it.

And that was it, Gai reflected. Naruto did not expect it to be easy. He didn't complain, he didn't whine, and he never even thought about turning his friends over to someone else. Honestly, it fit with the personality of someone who would suffer cheerfully through dozens, even hundreds, of hours of subjective boredom and drudge work as he split himself into ridiculous numbers of clones.

The clones might have done the work, but each one was him. You couldn't make a shadow clone and tell it to clean a toilet if you weren't willing to do it yourself. And if it did, you got the memory, just as if you'd done it yourself. Naruto, on the other hand, thought nothing of making clones so that his team wouldn't have to do the nastiest jobs.

Gai wondered if they even realized what Naruto did for them.

Considering their level of devotion to him…

Probably.

One thing was clear. He was wrong to have blamed Kakashi for their actions. He realized that now.

They were not children, and probably hadn't been for quite a while. Years in Naruto's and Sasuke's cases, maybe even in Hinata's. He owed Kakashi an apology for misunderstanding. He would do three thousand one armed pushups to make up for the mistake.

Ah, well. At least his team was no longer angry at them, and Team Seven would not be looking over their shoulder in fear of some future payback from him or his students. All's well that ends well.

And in the future...

The teams would either learn to work together, or he'd have to get youthful on their asses.

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

Naruto knew where everyone's homes were.

There was Hinata's nice Hyuga compound, and her understated yet refined home within. That was clear on the other side of Konoha.

There was his apartment, which was kinda on the northwest side. It was technically closest at the moment, but he also seriously doubted his ability to keep from killing them all as he fell down two hundred feet of sharply sloping cliffside.

Then there was Sasuke's apartment, which was more than halfway across the city from his clan estates, and more or less close to the middle. It was closest to the road when it finally got off the slope of the monument.

…Sasuke's it was.

And so, about twenty minutes later, shaking from the effort, Naruto literally dragged them up the stairs to the door of Sasuke's apartment, hoping they wouldn't mind a few bumps on the head, and ignored the looks from the neighbors as he found Sasuke's key in a slit on one of his sandals and opened the door.

He winced when he stumbled inside and almost fell, causing a small table to scrape across the wall and tear some wallpaper. He'd have to fix that later before Sasuke noticed.

Then, with one last burst of effort, he dumped Sasuke across the head of his bed. Then Hinata across the foot.

He spent almost a full second considering finding a blanket before he, too, pitched forward, unconscious before he even hit the covers.

xxxxxxxxx

Ugh, there was some god-awful noise. Hinata opened one bleary eye, then realized she couldn't see anything, anyway.

Flopping her arm, which didn't seem to work properly, she was able to scrape at her face and uncover her eyes.

It was apparently night time. Naruto was half snoring, half wheezing into the bed covers because he was sleeping on his face with his legs draped off the side of the bed.

She recovered her eyes, then suddenly twisted onto her side, violently enough that she shook the whole bed with her movements. Somehow, despite apparently being controlled by someone else who was only half hearing her instructions, there was some strength in her arms again.

After punching Naruto in the ear, she was finally able to get a hold on his shirt and dragged him farther up on the bed, cuddling him to her chest. The movement twisted his neck at an angle that had to be painful, but also cleared his nose and mouth, letting him breathe more easily.

Ah, silence. That was better.

She slept.

xxxxxxxxx

Ugh, there was some god-awful light. Sasuke opened one bleary eye, rubbed at the crust on his lashes, and glared balefully at the sunlight streaming in his window, directly down onto his head.

His arm didn't want to work properly, but it didn't have to be especially accurate to whack Naruto in the head several times.

Naruto woke with a snort and a groan.

"huhwazzatsasu…ke?" he grumbled, blinking.

"Light."

"wat"

"Window. Do something." Sasuke squinched his eyes shut and covered them with a forearm, but he could still sense the terrible photons.

Grumbling, Naruto pushed himself to hands and knees, then backwards onto unsteady feet. Slowly, he walked around the foot of the bed and fumbled at the blinds, half tying the strings into a knot until he finally managed to get the slats to fall. Then he twitched the curtains across for good measure.

Sasuke relaxed and uncovered his face.

Ah, darkness. That was better.

He slept.

xxxxxxxxx

Ugh, there was some god-awful smell. Naruto opened his eyes and stared directly at two thighs covered with some of the grungiest cloth it had ever been his displeasure to get a whiff of.

He rolled over.

He wasn't sure, but was willing to bet, that the person he now faced actually smelled worse.

Yawning hugely-

-oh god he could actually taste how bad they smelled-

-he sat up, realizing that instead of walking back around, so that they all lined up again, he'd just flopped back across the bed from the other direction.

…well, he hoped they got a good whiff of him, too. Serve them right.

Realizing there was no help for it, he got to his feet and stretched, feeling his joints pop. A peek out the slats revealed it to be late morning, which meant they'd been sleeping for nearly twenty hours.

Hell, Sasuke had to have a shower around here somewhere. Blinking and scratching himself, Naruto walked slowly out of the bedroom and closed the door. He made two kage bunshins and sent them out, then found a towel and a washcloth.

His clothes were actually stiff with dried sweat and dirt when he peeled them off, and the reek from beneath was nothing short of amazing. He actually spent a minute walking around naked before he found some trash bags in one of Sasuke's kitchen cabinets and stuffed them into, tying the top tight so the contamination couldn't leak.

After a moment, he left out several more.

The shower was hot and the water was plentiful, and he emerged feeling a lot closer to human. Wrapping a towel around his waist, he padded back into the living room to look around. The table was out of place, so he fixed it, and tried to hide the torn wallpaper, though it was pretty noticeable. Crap, he'd need to do something about that.

For a moment he just stood there, breathing. The sun was out, the birds were chirping, Gai wasn't mad at them anymore, and they had another temporary sensei to deal with in three days, but this time they didn't have any sort of agenda to worry about. They could just relax and train and plan.

Hell, he felt pretty good.

He needed his toothbrush, gargling shower water probably didn't do much and he wasn't going to impose on Sasuke THAT much, and he needed deodorant and probably a longer shower, and food, and clean clothes, but other than that, he felt good.

Damn good.

Smiling, he silently crept back into Sasuke's bedroom. Both of them were still dead to the world, but hell, twenty hours ought to be enough for anyone.

Slowly, careful to avoid waking Sasuke, he pulled Hinata off the bed and carried her out of the room.

She murmured sleepily as he moved her, but she didn't really wake up until she felt her pants and panties sliding off her hips, and apparently her top had disappeared somewhere when she wasn't looking. She raised her hitai-ate and looked at him with a wondering expression.

"Good morning," he said, amused, and kissed her.

Startled, she barely had time to kiss back before he stepped down between her ankles, pinning her pants to the floor as he simply lifted her out of them.

"Naruto?" she asked as he carried her naked to the bathroom.

"Shower time," he explained. "You need one."

She wobbled as he put her back down, right outside the door to Sasuke's shower. The mirror was still fogged from earlier, and there was some cold water on the floor.

When had he gotten her shoes off, and why hadn't she noticed?

She stared at him as he gathered up the last of her clothes and stuffed them in a trash bag before tying it shut.

Oh, wow, she really did need a shower. She stank. And she was naked in Sasuke's apartment, and Naruto was running around taking care of her.

…actually, she felt pretty good. She scratched her scalp beneath her headband, dimly noting her greasy hair, then though of Neji.

Concentrating for several moments as she focused on looking at herself, she lightly tapped each of her tenketsu around her eyes, mentally reaffirming their location. She practiced several times, but there were only fourteen tenketsu she would need to close and it didn't take long.

Breathing deeply to steady herself, she quickly closed all the tenketsu.

And that was it. Her byakugan was off, and she was seeing the world in plain old three dimensions. After seeing it either with the byakugan, not at all, or with the even stranger shin'engan, which was literally indescribable, it was almost bizarre.

Colors seemed muted, but the primary colors stood out more, and she didn't see the deeper purple of ultraviolet or the more red than red glow of heat any longer. Light was brighter, shadows were deeper, and she kept trying to look around without actually turning her neck, which was kinda starting to give her a headache.

Most importantly, she no longer had to use chakra just to look around. That was awesome. She even looked in the mirror for a moment, just to see the usual liquid grey of normal Hyuga eyes without the stress indicators of the byakugan. There was some pale scar tissue around her eyes where her veins had exploded, but it wasn't badly noticeable. Her bangs hid it for the most part.

And the pink scars on her body were paler today, almost a normal white of year old wounds, though they were still several shades lighter than her already pale skin.

Still marveling at the world in normal vision once again, she stepped into the shower and turned it on.

The water felt wonderful on her sore muscles, and she started to run fingers through her hair to get it all wet, but her fingers caught on the cloth of her headband. She'd forgotten about it, she'd been wearing it on her forehead for so long.

"Naruto?" she asked.

"Yeah, Hinata-chan?" he asked, poking his head back into the bathroom.

She angled the water away from the door and slid it open a crack, dangling her soaking hitai-ate outside.

"I forgot to take this off, could you get it?"

"Sure," he replied easily, glancing at her indistinct figure behind the fogged up pebbled glass of the shower door.

However, she changed her mind when he reached for the forehead protector, and instead of grabbing it, she grabbed him.

And pulled him into the shower through the suddenly open door.

One wet hitai-ate and one wet towel hit the floor, forgotten.

xxxxxxxxx

"Mmmm, Naruto… I don't think that's clean yet."

"Mmm… _Hinata_… I think that is…"

"…"

"Hey, turn up the hot water."

"…"

"YEEEK!"

Apparently, Sasuke had a small hot water heater.

xxxxxxxxx

Ugh, there was some god-awful giggling.

And…

…was that a shriek of girlish delight?

Sasuke frowned and twitched. There were happy people in his home. Reflexively, he reached for a kunai.

"Food's here!"

And now there were three happy people in his home, because he was acutely aware that he hadn't eaten in over a day and a half, and only poorly before that. It'd been a while since his bento had been smeared across a tree. Fortunately, Naruto had gotten food. He'd known there was a reason he put up with the blond.

Stretching slightly, he jerked the door open to his bedroom and infiltrated his living room with a stiff, lurching gait.

Naruto and Hinata were sitting side by side on the elderly sofa he'd gotten from somewhere, wearing nothing but towels, enthusiastically munching on a wide variety of foods arranged around them on the couch and floor, because he didn't have a coffee table. There were taiyaki and onigiri and little cardboard boxes with a dozen kinds of food in them.

"Didn't know what you wanted, so I got a bunch of different things," Naruto explained. "And you might want to eat first, since you're, ah, out of hot water." He scratched the back of his head and chuckled quietly. It's not like his first shower had been THAT long.

Hinata sent Naruto an accusing look that meant nothing to Sasuke.

"You're on my couch," Sasuke complained. "Naked."

Naruto gave him an exasperated look and held up the corner of a towel that he'd folded and sat on.

"I'm sitting on like five layers of towel," he explained.

Sasuke turned to Hinata.

She shrugged, looking unsure, and picking nervously at the hem of the towel that was wrapped tightly around her breasts.

"Just the one I'm wearing," she admitted. "Naruto said that would be fine… because… I'm a… …girl?" She didn't appear to believe Naruto's argument.

Sasuke nodded. "That's true. Gimme food." He collapsed into a seated position on the floor and grabbed a random box with a pair of chopsticks sticking out the top. For the next three boxes, he ate so fast he honestly couldn't have told anyone what he'd just put in his mouth.

And then, as suddenly as his ravenous hunger had come, it was gone, and he was full. There was still a lot of food left, though he realized he'd probably be hungry again in a few hours. They'd burned massive amounts of calories.

Full, rested, but still grungy, Sasuke rose, nodded thanks to Naruto, and started preparing to get a shower, after he grabbed some clean clothes from his bedroom. He disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door.

xxxxxxxxx

Naruto and Hinata had finished eating as well, so they stood up and started quickly closing boxes and stuffing the leftovers in Sasuke's refrigerator. That didn't take long, and Naruto headed for Sasuke's bedroom again.

They'd slept on top without pulling back any covers, so his sheets were probably fine, but the blanket had a certain aroma by association. Naruto quickly stripped it off, figuring he'd at least help clean up since Sasuke was nice enough to pass out and not object to their use of his apartment.

He was just wadding the blanket up to be smaller when Hinata tackled him and they both landed on Sasuke's bed.

"Hin-mmmph!" he said, because suddenly his mouth was busy, her hands were running over his chest and back, and he had an armful of healthy, clean girl and damp towel.

The towel had to go, so he plucked at the top where she'd tucked it in over itself to make an impromptu dress. It fell off, and soon she was squirming on top of it as he kissed and nibbled at her lips.

Soon her hands slipped beneath his towel, and it fell away as well, and soon she was holding something she knew from personal experience was very, very clean.

"That's my bed."

They both looked up. Sasuke was dressed, his hair wet and slicked back, and not yet in his distinctive wild crest, and he was standing in the doorway, staring at them with an expression not of lust or amusement, but vague outrage.

"Um, we're on a towel?" Hinata offered. Her bare butt was pointed his direction, but she wasn't especially concerned. Sasuke was a breast man.

"And you're on my bed. What do you think you are doing on _my_ bed?" he demanded.

Naruto looked at him, looked at her, then looked back at Sasuke. He formed a seal.

With a burst of chakra smoke, he transformed into a busty, long legged girl, her breasts pressed into Hinata's own and her hand resting possessively on Hinata's thigh. One of Hinata's hands was tangled in long, unkempt blonde hair, and the other was out of sight between them.

Naruko just looked at Sasuke.

He opened his mouth to protest, holding one finger in the air.

"…"

He closed his mouth. Looked thoughtful.

"…"

Suddenly he turned and walked out of the room.

Naruko and Hinata looked questioningly at each other sky blue meeting pale liquid grey. Naruko shrugged. Hinata kissed her. Her lips were soft.

Sasuke came back, dragging his single chair from his kitchen. He spun it around and sat in it backwards, leaning forward, both hands on the back of the chair, and his sharingan spinning.

"…proceed."

Naruko barked laughter and buried her face in Hinata's breasts. Hinata shrieked laughter and surprise and curled her hands in Naruko's hair.

"Clothes here!" came a call in Naruto's male voice from the living room.

"Your place?" Hinata asked, looking flushed and excited.

"My place," Naruko agreed, looking horny.

They bounced out of the room, the towels forgotten, to grab their clothes.

Naruko paused, threw Sasuke a jaunty salute and a grin, then continued, turning back into Naruto in the process.

Sasuke watched them go, then turned back to his bed, blanket on the floor, sheets rumpled, two damp towels strewn across the top.

"…that was my bed."

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Authors lie: And if you think you know what's going to happen next…

You're absolutely right that it will have to be posted to aff or mediaminer.

But, the lemon bits are purely optional canon. If you don't feel like reading about sex, don't. You won't need to know what happens in the lemons to continue with the fic as it's being posted here on ffdotnet.

At least they're not running any more, and this also marks the end of the almost solid block of time I've covered. Do you realize that it's been seven linear story chapters, one flashback chapter, one story arc, two filler chapters, and that little reminder thingy I should have deleted but forgot to since Naruto has last slept?

There are things I hate about my writing style.

I'll start picking up the pace from now on. After all, we need to know what's going on with Jiraiya, Sakura, Asuma, Kakashi, and…

The bad guys and the even worse guys.

I hope this chapter cleared up some of the issues with last chapter. The Kyubi didn't take over Naruto, it was Naruto basically being high on the Kyubi's chakra. Still not a good thing, though.

Also, this should make Gai's plan more clear. Team Lie had to run until they were less an object of hatred than an object of sympathy for his own team members. Despite all the running, this actually leaves Team Lie in better shape, because they'll realize that Team Gai, and especially Gai himself, will no longer bear a grudge against them. The next time they all get together, it will be as equals. Wary equals, but not _hostile enemies_.

And before some of you totally freak out over Tenzo, aka Yamato, remember that Naruto has been observed disobeying the Hokage's order about not using the Kyubi's chakra. The Hokage can't officially notice it, or he'd have to really punish him, so by keeping it on a more personal level they're actually letting him off the hook.

Remember, this is a mostly military culture they're living in. You still have to follow the rules you don't like. They overlook a lot of things with Naruto as it is.

But yeah, he's not happy about it. His priority now, besides Hinata, is to straighten out his problems, figure out his powers, and start getting some more control over his life. Hinata was right to sexy-tackle him before he had a chance to start brooding.

No one takes over the world in a day, or even a month.

So, I hope this didn't put anyone off. It's not an easy ride, but you'd be surprised at how far they've come.

Hell, they had an ANBU bluffing them into submission. The fact that Hinata nearly killed him, and that all three of them together would have been a real danger if they hadn't been stupid tired and caught off guard…

Their superiors are being very, very careful to avoid letting Team Lie know just how much power they really have.

Reviews make me happy! I like being happy!

And I hope you're happy, too!


	26. Light and Fire: offsite lemon

This chapter is a lemon, and because lemons are against fanfictiondotnet's TOS, I can't post it here. You can go to my bio for a link, or you can go to naruto 'dot' adultfanfiction 'dot' net 'slash' story 'dot' php 'questionmark' no 'equalssign' 600097862

There has been some concern expressed in reviews and other forms of correspondance that the lemon chapter was going to just be some rote mechanical sex, maybe 'ninjaed up' or something, ignoring all of the complex characterization and motivation that I've established throughout the last two hundred odd thousand words of the fic.

To those people I have to say: I find your lack of faith… disturbing.

I… I have a confession to make, honey. This isn't my first time.

Hahah.

Seriously, folks, show a little trust. Long before any of you ever heard of People Lie, I was known more for my lemons than I was my regular fics. Romantic ones, funny ones, kinky ones, hawt ones, and dark, horrific ones. I learned about what women like and how to describe sex from a woman's point of view by reading my lemons out loud to my wife during extended cuddle-makeout sessions and getting her opinions. I've also had a number of female friends who contributed to my knowledge base.

And horrible, horrible emotional scarring. _Some things men are not meant to know._

For this particular chapter, I went for fun, romantic, and loving, with the usual humor and some of the lighter aspects of character development. It's as safe as a lemon is likely to get.

You know I had to keep up the funny, I mean, if I didn't, how would I make it into the various forum 'funny fanfic quotes' lists each update? A quick shoutout to the wonderful readers who let others know when I update. You know who you are, and I know at least a few. 100 point badges to all of you.

That being said, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO READ IT to continue to read and understand what's going on. You'll miss things, I won't lie, but they're not essential to understanding the plot. I'm not going to 'punish' anyone for not liking lemons. That would be a dick move.

I hope you give it a shot. And review, please, preferably on here rather than AFF, so others can get an idea of the story without just relying on my word for it.

However, People Lie isn't always light and fun. As many comments as I get from people who love the humor and the friendship, there are plenty of comments from people who like the darker, psychological aspects of it best. I haven't forgotten you. The next chapter will also be a lemon, I'll post another notice on here to let you know when it's up, but it'll have a tone and descriptive style of writing a lot closer to the later chapters of Clients Lie. Still some humor moments, but also actually addressing some of the weird sexual connotations both Naruto and Hinata have, as well as an extrapolation on ninja sexuality in general.

The sex will also be considerably more eroticly described.

You know me, and how I like to shift styles every now and then.

The second lemon chapter will be up shortly, it's already mostly done. And then, I promise, we'll go back to our regular, nonlemon, People Lie.

Hope you enjoy!


	27. Lies Made from Light and Fire: three

Naruto held the tea pot upside down, his finger on the top so it wouldn't fall off, and shook it, getting the last bitter, lukewarm dreg of tea out. The pot now empty, he set it back down and quickly tossed back the last, arguably nasty, swallow.

He barely tasted it. He was pretty thirsty, as the hot water of the bath and his activities with Hinata had made him sweat.

Hinata sighed happily and snuggled under his other arm.

"A good ninja is always aware of their surroundings, especially when they might be caught with their pants down." The voice, male, and sounding older but firm, came from somewhere directly across the bathing pool, in front of them.

One moment he wasn't there, and the next, he just… was.

Naruto exploded in outrage at the long white-haired man who dared intrude upon his private time with his girlfriend.

"Fuck you and your pants, old man!" Naruto roared. "Just who the hell do you think you are, peeping on us?"

Jiraiya smiled, genuinely amused by the outburst, and thrust one hand out at the two teens in the bath, noting how they flinched visibly, prepared to avoid anything he might be throwing. He crouched slightly, drew a breath, balanced on one geta, and:

"I am he who has learned the secrets of Myouboku Mountain's famous Toad clan! I am… Jiraiya the Toad Sage!" He hopped on his foot twice, maintaining perfect balance, and twisted his head sharply, so that for one brief, shining moment, his rugged profile was outlined perfectly by the light of a paper lantern, and his long white hair streamed out behind him.

Then the moment was over, and his hair wrapped across his chest as he posed, looking at them once more.

"Great bouncing Buddha buttholes, it's a Sannin! SHIT!" Naruto said with a gasp, his hand tightening convulsively on Hinata's arm as he pulled her out of the bath and they both stood on the edge of the pool.

Naruto certainly knew of the legendary Sannin of Konoha. Every academy student did, and he, especially, was drawn to the tales of their incredible power. Konoha had produced a number of S class ninja over the years, but even among their similarly ranked peers, the Sannin were considered monsters in battle. Having one sneak up on him in the bath and make snide comments about his watchfulness, despite all the clones he'd left on guard duty, was not unlike a possible situation where the Emperor himself walks up while you're out working in your yard and tells you that you have too many azalea bushes in your flower garden.

Yes, you know the guy exists. Yes, he's in a position to recognize the very best. No, you are well aware that you would not measure up to the kind of expectations he would have.

But it's still sort of a shock when he shows up out of nowhere and starts talking shit about something you had, up until that moment, taken some small pride in.

Jiraiya, for his part, was immensely pleased by the wide eyed reaction he got from the two naked genin. Apparently, the new backlit-pose technique he'd been working on for his introduction was working better than he'd hoped. He noticed that the shadow clones that had been on guard outside the bath, and wasn't that a hell of a use for a usually short lived technique?, had leapt rather belatedly over the wall at Naruto's shout and were staring at him in a mix of chagrin, horror, and terror.

"I am so sorry, Jiraiya-sama!" Naruto exclaimed, bowing deeply. "Here!" he cried, thrusting Hinata in front of him. "Take my girlfriend by way of apology!" Hinata stumbled from the shove and fell into the steaming water of the bath with a splash.

"Hah! Nice try, kid!" Jiraiya said, laughing as the clones arranged behind the couple started shifting nervously. "Good idea, but do you honestly think a kawarimi is going to fool me?" He pointed at a clone that had been carefully edging backwards to one side.

It immediately froze.

Naruto made a small movement with his hand, and the clone moved to his side, dropping the disguise and revealing itself to be the real Hinata.

In the first moment he had been truly startled, though of course he didn't show it, Jiraiya noticed that the Hyuga girl's eyes weren't white. They were empty, abyssal black, and the taint of the demon fox's chakra was just barely detectable in her.

He'd felt a flicker of demonic energy during the boy's startled exclamation, but he'd had no idea he was sharing it with the girl, and without seals, too. This required thought.

Hinata had been surprised when Naruto's fingernails had dug into her skin so hard that they drew blood during his first startled gasp, but now that the flood of chakra had opened her tenketsu and given her the ability to see even more than the byakugan, she could see what had Naruto so alarmed.

The Sannin standing in front of them practically glowed like a sun to her enhanced vision. Chakra, cool, blue, perfectly refined chakra flowed through his body, more chakra than even Naruto had ever displayed. There were seals, too, lit up with their own power, tattooed or inked here and there in his clothes, on his skin, even somehow on his coils themselves, their purpose not immediately discernable. She caught a glimpse of some sort of faint impression left on his spirit, and with a start she realized that it was the mark of the contract he held with the toads he'd made a point of mentioning.

This man… was a monster.

She placed one hand on Naruto's back and started to tremble her fingers in a brief message of 'danger'.

Jiraiya gave them both a bright smile. "Though, I have to admit, that's the best disguise technique I've ever seen. A side effect of the Kyubi's chakra, I presume?"

They stared at him, poised for fight or flight, not speaking. The girl had nice breasts for such a young thing. She'd be a treat when she grew up. One thing he had to give the blond boy, he apparently had good taste and an eye for… potential.

It was odd, though. He was acting nothing like the drunk on power young brat that had been described to him earlier. Was it true caution and restraint? Had he learned his lesson? Or was the jinchuriki just intimidated by him?

He decided to rattle the cage a little, and molded just a little chakra in his limbs without moving.

The response was immediate and clear. Heavy red chakra erupted from the boy, demonic and toxic, swiftly forming into a vague outline of a fox with one tail, red slitted eyes and fingers like claws. The tail immediately expanded and wrapped around the girl, as if protecting her.

Now _that_ was interesting.

But when he raised one hand, without molding additional chakra, to assure the pair that he was not going to attack them, Naruto skittered back a step and dropped to all four, pulling the girl with him, and half hissed, half growled a clear warning to stay back.

"Whoa, kid, whoa-" he said hastily, and then his reflexes kicked in and he disappeared, flying backwards and to the right, landing on top of the wooden wall that separated the private bath from the other public ones, balancing perfectly in his geta.

The hiss, growl, whatever strange noise the jinchuriki had made, had rolled from the kid's mouth in an undiluted display of defensive threatening. The first indication he'd had of it was the way the water between them had seemed to roll and boil away along the surface, and then even the stones at the edge of the bath had cracked and turned to dust as the evil power flew towards Jiraiya. The venomous exhalation lost potency quickly though, wilting the ornamental shrubs and blackening the wall of the bath before it stopped.

Naruto's heart raced. He'd had no idea he could do that, nor any idea how to do it again, but he completely trusted Hinata's assessment of the old guy. He could feel the power, the potential for action inside the smiling man, and it scared him badly.

Jiraiya wasn't smiling anymore. His eyes were dark and serious, and he was poised for action.

"Quick tempered, aren't we? I didn't come here to hurt you, kid. I came here to help you with your little summoning problem."

Naruto didn't move, and it was Hinata who replied.

"Our apologies, Jiraiya-sama," she replied politely, bowing deep. "But the many powers you keep wrapped around yourself worry us. We do not mean to be rude, but we must ask you to keep your distance for the moment."

"Interesting that you can see such things," Jiraiya mused, deliberately letting the tension in his body fade. "Well, don't worry, I don't have any ill intentions towards you. The Hokage himself called me, and here I am."

Naruto growled, and the tail around Hinata shifted, covering her nudity with translucent red chakra.

Hinata looked impassive. "Forgive the temerity of a genin such as myself, Jiraiya-sama, but could it not have waited until after our bath?"

Jiraiya grinned. "Well, yeah. But then I wouldn't have seen how you react to the unexpected."

Hinata frowned.

"And really, just what did you plan to do if I was a threat?" he asked, genuinely curious. "I'm sure you've heard the stories about what happens when you fight a Sannin such as myself."

As one, the four clones, including the one that looked like Hinata that was still in the water, disappeared.

"Chrrr," Naruto grumbled, then pulled back, standing slowly upright. Astonishingly, the red chakra pulled inside as if it had never been, and the red slitted eyes turned blue and human once more. All traces of the demon vanished.

Then the boy's hands flashed through seals. Fast, though not as fast as the girl had earlier, but not bad for a genin. But when the technique finished and there was a soft puff of chakra smoke…

Niiiiice.

A leggy, full hipped blonde girl with truly magnificent hooters stood in Naruto's place. There wasn't even a trace of demon chakra to give her away, indeed, she didn't appear to have any more chakra than the average chunin, nothing at all like the monstrous reserves the boy had.

Jiraiya raised one eyebrow.

Naruko drew in a deep breath, making her rib cage expand and her breasts rise impressively, then:

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" she screamed, shrill and offended. "PERVERT! GET OUT OF THE BATH!"

"EEK! ERO MAN! PEEPER!" Hinata screamed, her voice blending into Naruko's.

All around them came the answering calls of outraged female voices as the anti pervert network was alerted, the indignant screams taken up and passed along much like dogs barking in the night.

Jiraiya got the strangest expression on his face.

An empty wooden bath bucket bounced off his head from behind, followed by a band of girlish screams, and he quickly dodged to his right, avoiding another bucket, running at an angle to both his surprise attackers and the two genin he'd came to see.

He paused just out of sight of his attackers and gave Naruko a rueful look.

"Well played, Naruto-san. Well played." He chuckled. "We'll talk later, under less stressful conditions."

Then, he was simply gone.

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"So I heard you finally met Naruto," Gai said innocently, having heard the angry, female screams coming from the bathhouse district. Some of those kunoichi could _yell_.

Jiraiya allowed a pained expression to cross his face as he entered the jounin lounge and took a seat in one of the chairs. "Please, that was hardly the first time I've ever been chased out of the bathhouses by forty angry women."

"And more," Sarutobi added from his own seat in a big, comfortable chair. "And so many, many more." He chuckled fondly, remembering Jiraiya's younger exploits. "Though, for Naruto-kun to recognize your weakness so fast… the boy is both perceptive and intelligent. He has a lot of potential not related to the demon."

"Perceptive… eh, I'll give him that," Jiraiya admitted. "Though how much is him and how much is that cute little Hyuga girl he's 'sharing chakra' with is something of a mystery. But intelligent?" He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I don't know if he's actually that smart. It seems more like he just doesn't follow the same logical progression of thoughts everyone else does. Like, he thinks at right angles to reality, and that somehow leaves him standing right behind you, metaphorically speaking."

As one, Sarutobi, Gai, and Jiraiya turned to look at the fourth member of their informal meeting.

Ibiki took a calm drink from a soda and didn't say anything.

"You see how he dotes on his teammates," Gai said. "There is still plenty of humanity in him, which I'm sure we're all relieved to see. It's hard enough for a shinobi to avoid the curse of being an emotionless killer without having something as evil as the Kyubi influencing him. I think he's doing very well, actually. A little too aggressive and a little too distrusting of his fellow shinobi, but at least he's not murdering Konoha citizens."

Jiraiya nodded. "Yes, he's quite loyal to at least one person. It was really astonishing to see the demonic chakra form the shape of a fox with one tail, then wrap up Hyuga-chan with that tail to protect her. And she clearly knew what he was doing, too, just standing there as cool as you please." He raised one eyebrow at Sarutobi. "Interesting indeed that there's someone who has such control over him, or at least influence."

Sarutobi nodded. "She's watched carefully, both by my people and Hiashi's. Although it may tip the balance of clan power even more in favor of the Hyuga, what we know of her plans and loyalties are centered around her position as heir to her clan, so by extension Naruto is tied all the closer to Konoha."

Jiraiya frowned. "And the Uchiha?"

Gai sighed. "He's much like Kakashi, though not nearly as subtle with his wit, which makes him more insufferable to the average person. He's very concerned with power, which he sees as coming from Naruto. He might be inclined to exploit Naruto in the future, and I believe he has fewer ties to Konoha than Naruto himself, but apparently he is just as loyal as Hinata, in his own way."

Jiraiya nodded.

Sarutobi spoke up.

"Efforts to comfort him after the Uchiha tragedy were repeatedly rebuffed, so he grew cold and distant for most of his schooling. Naruto has actually been instrumental in prying him out of his shell, but it's not a butterfly that emerged. He's still antisocial, but instead of avoidant, now he's sociopathic. He and Naruto are engaged in a constant battle of one upmanship over who can be the most creatively cruel to others, though their interactions with each other, and Hinata, are limited to harmless, affectionate jabs."

"So they actually make each other worse?" Jiraiya pressed.

Sarutobi chuckled. "As most friendships between young boys do, at least socially. You never saw that, because Orochimaru was your rival, not your friend. We encourage rivalries more than friendships because they push you to greater heights, not new lows."

Jiraiya couldn't help but stare at his old teacher. He'd never heard Sarutobi talk about friendship like that.

Gai shook his head. "I think, despite their youthful cruelties, that the friendship was what they needed. Most of our students have at least some friendships with other people. None of Team Seven has had any sort of positive contact with anyone but each other. They've been living 'out in the cold' all their lives," he said, referring to the term for an shinobi on an infiltration mission in hostile territory. "Of course they're antagonistic to other people. But without the comfort of having at least one person they can trust, they would almost certainly be dangerous to everyone around them, rather than just pointlessly mean."

Jiraiya waggled his fingers. "Well, that's probably true, but the drawbacks to having them constantly associating with each other might well be worse. They're giving blood to the Kyubi, _without the use of a jutsu_, and in return it's giving back chakra far in excess of what would seem to be fair for the tiny amount of blood." He gave them all a serious look. "There's no way the Kyubi would give something away for nothing. In fact, I'm almost positive that it's getting more out of the deal than they are. And that worries me. That worries me a lot."

Jiraiya looked around the room, carefully monitoring the responses he got. In any other room in Konoha, a statement like that would have gotten worry, panic, even hysteria, which he could easily manipulate into giving himself carte blanche to do whatever the hell he wanted with the boy.

Unfortunately, for a change, he was dealing with some of the most powerful people in Konoha. Sarutobi not only outranked him, he was his teacher, and a seal master in his own right. Gai had never panicked in his life, so far as Jiraiya knew, and was unreasonably perceptive for someone who didn't actually have a dojutsu. Doubtlessly, he already had his own ideas on how to deal with Naruto, and was looking out for his friend Kakashi's interests in the matter. Really, all he needed was Kakashi himself lounging on the other free couch and it'd be basically impossible to get everyone to turn over authority to him. Fortunately, Kakashi was apparently out attempting to start a war with Mist by deliberately driving a Mist kunoichi insane with frustration. That or he was just being himself, which probably amounted to much the same thing.

And then there was Ibiki, but he was just a tokubetsu jounin, and operated on some sort of bizarre value set Jiraiya had never cared enough about to decipher. That being said, the man was known for his mastery of psychological mindfuckery, and had largely raised Naruto for many years, at least until everyone realized that giving Naruto over to a known sadist was more likely to make him worse than engender some sort of mutual melting of hearts. He almost certainly knew more about Naruto's mind than anyone else, but he was also relatively low in rank, at least in this particular group, and would do as he was ordered.

After a moment, Sarutobi raised one eyebrow, telling Jiraiya to go on.

The Sannin shrugged. "Well, he's clearly getting something out of it, if your reports are true. The more often his teammates summon his chakra, the more readily he seems to access the power of the Kyubi. The only other tailed beast we have reliable info on is the Ichibi, and beside the regular abilities it bestows on the container, it seems to take a lot of effort and willpower to bring out the beast itself, at least while awake. With Naruto, it seems to lurk right under the surface. Part of that could be the relative power of the demon, but we've also never heard of a tailed beast making blood contracts, either."

"Perhaps there is something to what you say," Sarutobi allowed. "My ANBU did witness Naruto's, or the Kyubi's, efforts to increase the number of contracts, if that is what they are. Apparently, another young kunoichi named Sakura Haruno also has access to the Kyubi's chakra and the changes it brings."

Jiraiya blinked, appearing concerned. "Another one? You didn't tell me that. What relationship does she have to the team?"

The Hokage smirked. "A crush, actually. Not on Naruto, on the Uchiha." Then he turned more serious. "For a change, the nature of her new powers is a little more evident. We still have no idea what Sasuke gets out of the deal, besides a mature sharingan and white tomoe, and Hinata-chan's black eyes have apparently given her the ability to see the breaking point in objects, but we don't know anything else. Haruno-chan, however, has been given strength."

Jiraiya rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Was she strong or weak before the mark?"

"Weak. Physically, she is the weakest of all our nine academy graduates, though her mind was unusually sharp and her chakra control perfect. She was placed on a tracking focused team under a genjutsu specialist to take advantage of her talents." The Hokage inclined his head slightly towards Jiraiya. "If we'd been going by the appearances of Naruto's teammates, she should have gotten some sort of mental abilities, perhaps some sort of kitsune illusion power. But no, she was given strength. Ridiculous, chakra enhanced, Tsunade level strength."

Jiraiya sat up straighter. Tsunade was one of, if not the, physically strongest people in the world, counting the way she used chakra to enhance her strikes. That was a powerful gift indeed, which made the nature of Hinata's and Sasuke's doujutsu's all the more intriguing.

"That seems to indicate there is a level of choice involved in the new ability, not just genetics or chance," he replied. "I've never met a weak person who didn't wish, deep inside their heart, to be strong."

Sarutobi nodded, having decided the same thing. "That's not to say there was no mental effect. Actually, she seems much more aggressive now, louder and far, far more rude. Her sensei was most displeased, as Sakura is usually a perfectly polite kunoichi."

"What does her sensei know of the issue?" Jiraiya asked. "What's her name…?"

"Kurenai Yuuhi, and absolutely nothing. She's a new jounin. I have an ANBU watching young Sakura, to see if the changes are permanent or will fade as she uses the demonic chakra. It's already lasted more than a day longer before reverting than Hinata or Sasuke, but then Sakura has always been noteworthy for her chakra control."

Jiraiya nodded. The two dojutsu users probably used up the chakra at a much faster rate than average, especially considering the permanently activated bloodlimit.

"Is that it?" he asked. "Just one more blood contract?"

Sarutobi nodded. "I've had at least one ANBU, including several Hyuga, watching them since they left the hospital, except for when Gai took them for a while."

Gai nodded, but kept his mouth shut for his own reasons.

Jiraiya sat in deep thought for several minutes before speaking again. "Well, I'll admit, that doesn't sound as bad as it could be, though it does somewhat reinforce my point. I think that Naruto is a very intelligent, manipulative boy, with a demon that has proven its willingness and effectiveness at influencing and changing not only its host, but the people around it." He held up one hand, as if to forestall any outbursts. "Now, I'll be the first to admit, that's one powerful, valuable ability. He's like a walking bloodlimit generator. Those who don't have them, he gives them, and those that do, he makes more powerful. But at what cost?" He shrugged. "Look, I saw the Hyuga girl. That was not the body of a twelve year old."

"Technically," Sarutobi spoke up, "She's not twelve. She's thirteen. But yes, we've all seen the changes in the three. It makes puberty look no more significant than a haircut."

Jiraiya nodded. "I think, before we allow him to run rampant through the youth of Konoha, we should remove him to a more isolated, easily controlled environment. I could teach him a few things I've learned about controlling demonic chakra, and maybe come up with a way for him to avoid the drawbacks of the Kyubi's influence."

Sarutobi chuckled. "I hardly see him as 'running rampant' through Konoha. I think someone would tell me if he was."

Jiraiya shrugged.

Sarutobi continued. "Think of it as… a small sample set. We learn far more about him watching him interact with his teammates and the genin of his year than we would keeping him isolated."

Jiraiya hmmed. "More than just their influence on him, are you sure it's a good idea to risk the other genin like that? What about the Hyuga girl? She is the heir, right? Isn't Hiashi concerned?"

Sarutobi made a slightly ironic frown. "I believe Hiashi's words when he sent her to the academy were something to the effect of 'If she continues to be worthless, it does not matter if she lives or dies.' Although, his attitude seems to have improved of late, since she was just recently reinstated as official heir, but I believe he approves of her changes."

Jiraiya jerked, honestly surprised. "Damn! What a dick." He considered the new information, realizing that, yes, Sarutobi was fully prepared to risk the Kyubi gaining far more influence over certain genin than he would have given him credit for. Of course, if the numerology was correct, the eight other genin that graduated alongside Naruto were already tied to him and the Kyubi in ways they could only barely understand, so maybe Sarutobi was just letting the stars run their course. If the ancient texts were correct, they would anyway, but there was influence and then there were nine Kyubi powered genin running around with abilities they had not earned and could not control.

His sensei was always more inclined to favor the restraints of love, friendship, and loyalty, and Jiraiya respected all those as much as any good Konoha ninja. But when it came to the most powerful demon in the world, he also thought it might be appropriate to slap a few seals on the kid, just to make sure. After all, love, friendship, and loyalty didn't always win in the face of power.

Orochimaru had proved that.

Though, Sarutobi wasn't entirely proven wrong. At least the snaky bastard hadn't gone nuts and went missing nin, tearing up the countryside in a blind quest for power and revenge. That would have really sucked.

"I believe that the matter, at least with my own team, was largely the result of tensions between the main and branch houses of the Hyuga clan," Gai explained. "I knew Neji bore Hinata some resentment, but I believed I could manage it. Apparently, Hinata had no small amount of anger for her cousin as well. Neji is prodigally gifted, and she had apparently decided that her low standing in the clan was due to him making her look bad. Naruto and Sasuke simply responded in defense of her."

Jiraiya gave him a slightly incredulous look. "Didn't they nearly kill him as soon as your back was turned?"

Gai shrugged. "Are you surprised? We've been teaching them proactive defense since the first days in the academy."

Jiraiya had to reluctantly allow him the point.

"I've arranged for Asuma to take them for a while," Gai continued. "He's sharp enough that he won't fall for their bullshit, but he's also not the kind of teacher to inadvertently make matters worse."

Jiraiya frowned dubiously. Asuma was a good, competent jounin, but he also had some odd ideas. The boy had picked up far too many strange habits from his time as a monk.

"Hmm," the Sannin said. "I will keep an eye on them, and if the boy continues to manifest more of the Kyubi, we can take steps." He seemed satisfied with that pronouncement.

"I believe I have a suggestion that might better guide his development."

All three of them turned, slightly surprised, to look at Ibiki, who had been a silent observer up until now.

He sat down his now empty soda bottle and looked back at them, completely unperturbed. "Naruto has been relying on the Kyubi's power because it is a powerful weapon that gives him a lot of leeway in his dealings with others. He knows that we will not throw away a valuable weapon such as a jinchuriki, so he tests the boundaries to see what he can get away with. My suggestion is simple. If he persists in this notion of being a weapon for Konoha, we shall treat him like a weapon."

Sarutobi rubbed his hands together absently, and nodded. "A weapon does not know why it is being used, only that it is. Excellent idea, Ibiki-san. We shall offer him a choice: the life of a ninja, or the life of a weapon."

Jiraiya nodded, smiling. Trust the old man to come up with the perfect solution.

Choice.

Perhaps, as his sensei always said, it really did come down to choice. But Jiraiya would make his own offer, and his own pitch. Sometimes, wayward genin needed to be guided into making the right choice.

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The next day, Hinata sent word, by kage bunshin, that her father had arranged for some private lessons in juken, and she would not be joining them for team training.

Naruto was stunned. Not because Hinata was going to spend the day training with her father, that made plenty of sense, and honestly, if Jiraiya showed back up to speak to him, he kinda wanted her to be somewhere away from the white haired pervert.

The surprised was, he didn't know they were going to train that day. While daily training had been a big part of his life for a long time, over the past few weeks or so, he was admittedly a little fuzzy on the exact amount of time involved, it had totally slipped his mind. The only training they'd actually done was with Anko.

Yeah, they'd talked about what they were going to work on when they trained next, but it was almost sort of a shock that the day had finally arrived that they had time to train. They'd slept from mid Wednesday to mid Thursday, and then he and Hinata had pretty well killed the remainder of the day together, and now it was Friday.

Something happening to separate him from Hinata was no surprise at all, for either of them. They'd decided to go along with it, at least for a little while.

He supposed he could find Sasuke, but maybe Sasuke didn't want to be found. They had been spending an awful lot of time together. He did swing by Sasuke's apartment, which was dark and locked, and left a brief note about Jiraiya under the door. Part of him wanted to chase Sasuke down and warn him in person, but his more logical side didn't like the idea of presenting an air of panic, the same reason he and Hinata both agreed that her spending the day at home was a good idea.

That still left him with his own plans for the day. Searching for Jiraiya was almost certainly an exercise in futility, so he didn't even consider that. Lately, he'd just been doing what the team needed to do, but that wasn't an option today. Hinata was training with her father, Sasuke was off doing whatever he did for fun, probably torturing puppies or something, and for the first time in a really long time, Naruto felt at a loss of what to do with himself.

Well, they'd ran for like three days straight. That was physical training, right? Plus there was the whole issue with having a freaking Sannin messing with him, and the issues of the Kyubi fucking with his mind.

He didn't have much hope for it, since all of the really useful stuff was probably in private collections or not available to genin, but he decided to hit the library and see if there was anything relevant in the books and scrolls. He also had to look up everything he could about Jiraiya.

About halfway through the day, when he was getting hungry and thinking about lunch, he realized that he missed his teammates, and was, in short, lonely.

Irritated with himself, he had a cup ramen at his apartment, spent an hour taking care of his somewhat sickly bonsai trees, which hadn't liked being stuck in the closet for a week, returned the library, and deliberately avoided saying a word to anyone for the rest of the day.

Jiraiya never showed up.

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The next day he woke up early, feeling like an idiot. From experiments with his kage bunshin, he'd long ago realized that he couldn't really think in a vacuum. He needed the influx of new ideas and thoughts that independent experience brought.

Sitting around in his apartment, or a library, watching himself read scrolls wasn't the most fertile ground for ideas to breed in, and mostly lead to a lot of his clones dreaming up autoerotic fantasies starring Hinata, plus all sorts of people who weren't necessarily Hinata, even with his thin mental excuse of henge.

His most profound thought of the day was the realization that sex really does change everything. Once you really have sex with someone for the first time, it raises the possibility of having sex with other people, and that's a pretty intriguing possibility.

But it's wasn't a particularly useful or even vaguely relevant thought, either, so after about twenty minutes of just laying in his bed and staring at the ceiling, he decided to get up and go see Hinata.

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Hinata, surprisingly, had to beg off yet again. Her father was keen to make up for lost time, and, since he had no meetings or business planned for the Saturday, either, he requested another day of her time before she was involved in the joint team exercises with Team 10.

Since Hinata felt she was close to making a breakthrough with the kaiten under her father's expert tutelage, and she promised to train with them the next day, Naruto raised no objections. It was clear she felt guilty about missing two days of team training, especially since she did, honestly, want to be with Naruto, but actual training with her father was something she had to grab.

He turned down an offer of breakfast with her family, feeling that Hinata's new status was a bit too new for her to have a boyfriend over for breakfast, and went in search of Sasuke.

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Sasuke, as it turned out, was eating breakfast when he got to his apartment. Some sort of bland rice cereal type product, without sugar or marshmallow bits or anything to make it actually appetizing, though he did have an open bag of natsumikan oranges on the table.

The window to his kitchen was open, and Naruto cheerfully hopped through it with a wave at the dark haired boy.

"Mornin', Sasu-" he flinched, only barely able to bring his hand up fast enough to catch the orange headed for his face. It slapped into his palm with enough force to split the peel and spray a fragrant mist into the air, making his eyes sting. "…ke," he finished warily, ready to duck or catch any more inbound fruit.

Sasuke said nothing, eating his cereal without a sound.

Naruto scratched the back of his head in such a way that he could quickly bring the hand back around if he needed it. "Uh, thanks for breakfast?" he hazarded.

"You can eat it," Sasuke reluctantly admitted, giving Naruto the impression that he'd really just been throwing fruit at his head.

"Damn decent of you," Naruto replied, back to his cheerful tone of voice. "I take back one, no, make it two, of the times I called you an unmitigated bastard." He quickly started peeling the fruit.

"You polluted my bed," Sasuke replied coldly.

"Hey, I totally washed the blanket!" Naruto complained, popping a section of orange into his mouth and chewing rapidly. Technically, a clone had done it, but they were him, too.

"And you tore my wallpaper."

Naruto allowed his eyes to widen. "Oh, oh yeah. I guess I kinda forgot about that, you know, _while I totally boned my girlfriend._" He gave Sasuke the thumbs up and a cheesy grin.

Sasuke sighed. "And to think, I totally avoided you yesterday because I didn't want to hear about it."

Naruto dropped the cool dude pose. "Oh, really?" he asked, looking thoughtful, then brightened. "So, all I have to do to get rid of you is to make the beast with nine backs with Hinata, and then offer to tell you about it? It's like… I can't stop winning!"

Sasuke's brow furrowed at the errant mental image. "How does that even-"

Naruto gleefully opened his mouth to explain, but Sasuke cut him off.

"Never mind, shut up."

Naruto looked offended.

"So where's Hinata?"

"Training with her father. She did yesterday, too. Apparently, the deadline for entries into the 'father of the year' awards is soon, so he's trying to make up for a lifetime of neglect and scorn. It's kind of sweet, really."

Sasuke ahhed. "And Hinata, pragmatist she is, is sucking up her pride and getting everything she can out of the man, because asshole he might be, he's still the guy who knows all the techniques and controls the family purse."

"Wow," Naruto admitted. "You totally nailed that one."

"Well, rebuilding my clan has been on my to do list for a while now," Sasuke explained. "I've thought a lot about what I'll do if my children are all total disappointments, at least since I've met you two."

Naruto raised one eyebrow. "Uh, yeah. That's not weird or creepy at all." He changed the subject. "So, I spent yesterday at the library. What'd you do?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Trained and stuff. Pretty much the same thing I had planned for today."

Naruto nodded thoughtfully. "So, shall we go beat the hell out of each other in the name of self improvement?"

Sasuke smirked and shook his head as if saddened by his friends sheer stupidity. "Naruto… before you fight, you should know how to fight. I found that the improved way Tenten throws weapons gave me so much more accuracy and range that I needed to rethink my whole fighting style, especially with Lee's taijutsu to consider. It'll probably take you weeks just to learn to throw like she does."

Naruto frowned, but he had no clever reply.

"…Eh, alright, yeah, fine. Show me how to throw."

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Naruto and Sasuke quickly worked out a system where Sasuke showed Naruto Tenten's method of throwing things, which they recognized as generally superior to the one they used in the academy. Sasuke had copied it instantly, but Naruto didn't have that ability, so Sasuke quickly demonstrated the technique, and Naruto spent most of the day throwing kunai and shuriken as accurately as he could into wooden targets.

For anyone else, that would have been the day. But Naruto was not limited to just one body, so he also made a number of clones, some to practice the chakra molding for the various jutsu that Anko had shown them so many days previous, which was a knowledge clones could transfer back to the original, and even more who would give Sasuke sparring opponents he didn't have to hold back from.

They didn't last long against the Uchiha.

So Naruto made more.

Lots more.

Armed with wooden practice weapons instead of the real thing, he didn't want to accidentally kill Sasuke, the mob's sole mission was to beat the dark haired boy into unconsciousness with every trick at their disposal.

It was that trick, discovered soon after the incident with Mizuki, that had lead to the dramatic improvement in Hinata's fighting style. Before, it had only been him, and he'd worked hard with her to remove her fear of hurting other people and of being hurt herself. That had been the limiter blocking her progress, and her change afterward had been nothing short of startling.

However, her actual skill had been another matter entirely. Before, she had been fair, but hesitant. Then she was just fair. So Naruto had put her against endless streams of kage bunshin. She'd killed 'live' targets with the juken in such numbers that she could be considered to be on par with war hardened jounin. Swarms of clones bent on hurting her, sometimes actually killing her, had taught her to be swift and efficient with her strikes, conserving her strength and position, and to ignore minor hurts in favor of blocking the most dangerous hits. Hinata would tear through his clones like a tiny little tornado, blocking and striking in all directions. She could not be outmaneuvered or flanked.

Sasuke was quite a bit different. He was a thinker in battle, as almost all of the reflexive aspects of fighting were handled by his bloodlimit, which also gave him precious seconds of foreknowledge. He knew what was going to happen, and he had time to think about it.

He was also extremely good at attacking an area, either with a fire jutsu, or with a long length of wire that brushed against multiple clones at once before he used the raiton jutsu Anko had taught them.

The damned sharingan could follow kawarimi, too. Naruto got a little frustrated with his clones inability to pin Sasuke down, so he decided to slip his real body in, which could take more punishment than Sasuke could dish out in any kind if small time scale. He'd wade in, absorb a few hits, and then flatten the Uchiha with a power move.

And so it was, Naruto found himself rather singed and smoking, tied face first to the trunk of a tree by several loops of wire.

"My sharingan follows jutsu," Sasuke said calmly. "If you're going to kawarimi somewhere without me knowing, you should start out of sight."

"That's awesome!" Naruto burbled happily, somewhat muffled by his face being pressed into the still smoldering bark. "Your eyes make great shinobi. Maybe we could get them each little hitai-ate. Like, little bitty ones you could wear on your eyebrows."

Sasuke 'hn'ed and released the wire, his way of giving Naruto the point.

Naruto stumbled away from the tree, then dumped his canteen of water over his head, making the burned hair and soot stream down his face.

"Do you always carry that thing?" Sasuke asked.

"Well, yeah," he replied. "There aren't any water fountains out here. Speaking of water, I'm sort of hot. Let's hit the stream."

Together, the boys found a nearby stream that wound its way through several training grounds. Naruto lost no time in diving in, scrubbing his hair vigorously under the water to get the last of the singe out. He came up spluttering.

"Shouldn't your katon jutsu do more damage?" Naruto asked, wiping water from his face. "I mean, an offensive technique that just kind of irritates the other person isn't much of an offense."

Sasuke shrugged. "I knew it was you, so I didn't put much chakra in it."

Naruto shook his head, felt of his hair, which was burned short in places, and formed seals for his transformation, growing his hair longer and erasing the skin burns in seconds. His clothes remained sodden and sooty, but they were pretty fire resistant, being made of coarse treated silk like most ninja clothing. The outer layer of silk yarn produced by the silkworms made cloth that was tough, silent, and machine washable.

"…and you're pretty freakishly resistant to fire," Sasuke continued. "I expected you to be rolling around the ground and screaming in pain, at the least."

Naruto shrugged. "It would be nice if I got some sort of cool fire powers from the fox. I've tried and tried, but I've yet to be able to set things on fire with my mind."

Sasuke frowned. "My brother can do that."

Naruto looked at him. "Mangekyo?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Damn. Can it like, pull rice balls out of the air and shit, too?"

Sasuke shrugged. "I don't know. But the fire?"

"Yeah?"

"It was black."

Naruto stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was joking or not.

"Seriously?"

"Yes."

"Hmm," Naruto said thoughtfully. "Well, that's better than conjuring rice balls, I guess."

Sasuke shrugged.

Naruto hopped out of the water and patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll get the mangekyo sharingan one of these days. If I have to find you a new best friend to kill, I'll do it."

Sasuke looked at him speculatively. "Well, it'd probably be easier to find a new friend to murder than it would be to kill you."

Naruto smiled sunnily. "My life hangs in the balance of my badassness versus your pathetic inability to relate to people. A lesser man might be worried."

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xxxxxxxxx

Asuma rather liked his team. To be perfectly honest, they were perfect for each other, thanks in no small part to a little research on his part. He knew what kind of personalities he would mesh well with, and the Ino-Shika-Cho triumvirate was nearly legendary, so it almost wasn't even a question. Kurenai had been the only wildcard, getting her team more by default, after he and Kakashi had their pick.

Sorry, baby, rank and seniority hath their privileges.

Asuma had arguably the most bizarre background of any shinobi in the village. There were refuges from dead villages and countries, tragic geniuses, hard working nobodies, killers and healers and sociopaths and gentle hearts. People who could see through walls and bend their bodies in unnatural shapes, traitors, double agents, spies, and natives.

But one thing they all had in common was, once they had become a ninja, they had always been a ninja.

Not so, Asuma.

He had grown up under the shadow of his legendary father, who, back then, had still been establishing the legend. There were expectations of him. He had excellent teachers, and truthfully, he performed well enough.

Even his father had admitted that.

Yet, at the age of 14, flushed with hormones and teenage rebellion and a deep, abiding feeling that somewhere, ninjas were doing something wrong, he'd left and became a monk at the Fire Temple.

It wasn't an objection on moral grounds, exactly. He saw enough of life to know that some people needed killing, if nothing else because they thought you were the one that needed killing and it was you or them.

What he couldn't abide was the lying. More than lying to other people, it seemed like all of the shinobi he knew were lying to themselves. And as they strove for self improvement, power, skill, satisfaction, whatever, they were crippling themselves.

He hadn't been able to put his finger on it at the time, being strong and hot headed and argumentative, especially with his father.

The monks had shown him what he'd been missing. They taught him what he'd so desperately wanted to know.

And it made life rather amusing, at least to Asuma. Once you knew yourself, you could know the people around you. You could know the world around you. You could know your place among the people in the world.

Once he'd learned all he needed to know, he'd turned down the offer of leading the temple, instead returning to Konoha. He put on the leaf hitai-ate again, and took up the rank of jounin, despite having been a genin when he left.

One of the things which only a few people knew, and hopefully only a few people would ever know, was that Asuma, as a monk, had risen to the highest rank in the land, one of the Twelve Guardians of Fire, and served his time admirably. His knowledge was a monk's knowledge, of inner peace, outer movement, elaborate taijutsu and a priests' spell craft. He'd fought for peace, inside and outside of the country, with words, jutsu, weapons, and his own mind and body, and he'd never been defeated.

Not bad for someone who was only considered 'A' rank in the bingo books.

Asuma rarely thought about it, to be honest. He had reconciled his feelings about his father, and his father had eventually reconciled his feelings about him. He had achieved as much enlightenment as he was going to at the temple, and now he spent his time in service of his home, raising the next generation and wooing an insecure but gifted woman.

It was a pretty damned good life. The things that once seemed so huge and insurmountable were now as leaves blowing in the wind.

Kakashi once called him a navel gazer, because it was Kakashi's nature to tap on a bell to see if it rang true.

Asuma had smiled and cheerfully admitted to spending hours contemplating Kurenai's belly button.

Kakashi had left it at that, because Kakashi was a ninja, and sought the path of least resistance. He would never entirely approve or trust someone so alien to his way of life, but they could work together. He would let Kakashi have his jokes. He understood that Kakashi had nothing else.

Gai, on the other hand, well, now there was an interesting flame. If Asuma was the epitome of a monk, playing at being a ninja, and Kakashi was the epitome of a ninja, playing at being… a ninja, Gai was the epitome of a man, playing.

Gai thought there was something worth nurturing in Kakashi's students, and Gai would rank their worth as humans before he would rank their worth as weapons for Konoha.

Having them interact with his own team of students, each so contemplative and peaceful in their own way, could prove interesting.

"Listen," he said. "Ino, I know you're concerned about being around Sasuke and Hinata. Shikamaru, I know you believe this will be troublesome. Chouji, yes, this will disturb our team."

He paused and gave them all a stern, serious look.

"You're all absolutely correct to be concerned. You have become used to the harmony we have built, and the introduction of Team Seven will cause the balance to be thrown off. They are all gifted young ninja, and they've picked up habits from their sensei, just like you have picked up habits and attitudes from me. They are louder, more aggressive, more vicious than you. They are stronger, faster, and more powerful, too."

"But, Sensei," Chouji asked, knowing Shikamaru wouldn't, "Naruto was the worst student in the class, back in the academy, and Hinata was a gentle girl. I know Sasuke was the number one rookie, and Ino has talked about Hinata, but why is everyone suddenly saying that Naruto is so good?"

Asuma smiled ruefully. "Naruto was learning something quite different from the rest of you back them. He was learning to lie, because he thought it would give him an advantage to be seen as weak." He scratched his beard. "We even have a term for kids like him. We call them 'crouching moron, hidden bad ass'. There's usually one every generation." He shook his head. "Make no mistake, Naruto isn't what he appears to be, but at the same time, he is. It takes a certain kind of twisted logic, genius stupidity, if you will, to decide to hide every aspect of yourself like that." He shrugged. "They think it makes them better, but it doesn't. It does, however, make them different, and sometimes difference is power. Do not expect them to think like you do, to share your goals or concerns or anything else."

"So troublesome," Shikamaru said with a sigh. "And we have to deal with them."

"It will be good for you. You have all built and understanding, but you haven't yet shored up the foundations, as that comes with experience. They will push at you, and seek to unbalance you, because that is what they were taught. If you give them an inch, they will take a mile."

All three of his students nodded seriously.

He considered for a second, then added, "Also, they will cheat at poker." He smiled at them. "I'm looking forward to see you meet them."

Shikamaru shrugged and frowned. Chouji accepted the statement without comment. Only Ino groaned.

As the most aware member of the team, not to mention the most prideful and contentious, she was the least enthusiastic about the test Asuma was giving them, for it was definitely a test, and he would be evaluating them every step of the way, and wouldn't offer any more advice or information.

That meant it was up to her to get her teammates in gear and figure out what to do.

Lovely.

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

The shadows were getting long when Naruto snuck into Sasuke's apartment, his entrance covered by the noise from Sasuke's shower. They'd trained for the entire day before Sasuke had given him a half-assed wave and went home.

Naruto had been thinking about the idea for a while, and though it made one part of him nervous, wondering if maybe it was a terrible idea, another part was rather excited. Naruto was very good at compartmentalizing his emotions, and going with the set he felt most appropriate for the situation.

At the moment, that was neither the nervous, nor the excited parts. It was the calm, detached part. The part that could do anything.

He stood there for a moment, contemplating what he was about to do, and the best way of going about it. The shower was still running.

After a moment, he took off his orange jacket and tossed it on the kitchen counter, out of sight. Then he removed his black t shirt and put it on top of his jacket, leaving him bare to his waist. Then he quietly moved to stand just out of immediate sight, on the right side of the closed bathroom door. Sasuke would be coming out soon.

Wouldn't he be in for a surprise.

Naruto kept his breathing slow and steady, not letting his breath whistle through his mouth or nose, doing his best to guess Sasuke's probable movements, and how he could counter.

The running water cut off.

Naruto's fingers wrapped tightly around the hilt of his wakizashi.

Yes, wouldn't Sasuke be surprised.

There was a faint rustling sound, like cloth on skin. Then faint steps. Then more cloth noises.

The door opened, and Sasuke stepped out wearing a pair of shorts, both hands still rubbing a towel over his hair, his face momentarily obscured by the damp cloth.

It was perfect. Naruto drew and stabbed the wakizashi at him, hilt first, with his left hand, and grabbed Sasuke's left with his right, pulling it to the hilt of the wakizashi.

"Foolish little brother!" Naruto yelled, unable to prevent it from sounding like gleeful, unholy laughter.

"AH-H," Sasuke replied cleverly, pushing away blindly as he pulled the towel off his head with his still free hand.

Naruto guided Sasuke's hand, and the hilt of the wakizashi, as he moved forward, letting the razor sharp blade sink deeply into the right side of his chest.

It was a line of burning cold slipping between his ribs.

"Gurk."

Everything froze as Sasuke stared at his left hand, wrapped firmly around the handle of the wakizashi, Naruto's hand on top of it in an death grip, the short sword buried in his best friend's chest.

"It was… just a joke," Naruto said faintly, almost accusingly, just before his eyes rolled up in his head and he collapsed, his iron grip on Sasuke's hand pulling the dark haired boy on top of him.

Sasuke stared in horror as blood seeped around the blade, running in a line across Naruto's bare, tanned skin. For one moment, just for one heart stopping instant, he really thought he'd accidentally killed his friend.

He frowned.

"Naruto, what the shit do you think you're doing?" he asked the silent, unbreathing corpse in scornful irritation.

One eye popped open, and Naruto looked at him, searching for any indications of something different in Sasuke's eyes.

"Is it working?" he asked hopefully, then coughed, because the blade had pierced his lung and breathing hurt.

Sasuke sighed. "No, Naruto, it is not working, _you fucking idiot_. Now take that blade out of your chest, it doesn't belong in there. You can't even breath right." He pulled on it, confidently expecting to withdraw it from Naruto's lung.

Naruto held on stubbornly.

"I'm dying here," Naruto gasped. "I can't believe you'd kill your best friend, all for power."

The blade wiggled a bit as Sasuke tried to pull it out again, but Naruto had both hands wrapped around Sasuke's, and kept it in place.

"Oh, woe is me," he continued. "Oh terrible day…" He coughed twice, and winced. "Hey, this actually really hurts."

"You fucking STABBED yourself, you idiot. It's supposed to hurt!" Sasuke ground out, bracing against Naruto with his other arm as he pulled.

"Technically, you stabbed me," Naruto countered. "You… you… best friend killer!"

"You moron, take it out now, or I'm going to fucking kill you!" Sasuke's eyes might not be whirling with the mangekyo, but they were alight with anger. Damn it, Naruto.

"No! Not until you get the mangekyo!" Naruto gasped, then coughed wetly, spraying a little bit of blood. His lips were red.

Then the door to the apartment opened, and Hinata stood there in the doorway, looking at them with wide, shocked eyes, still expressive despite being pure, empty black.

Naruto was lying on the floor, shirtless, Sasuke on top of him, kneeing across his waist, still slightly damp and only wearing boxer shorts. Both were sweaty and breathing hard, their hands wrapped around the hilt of the wakizashi. Naruto's lips were red, and they both stared at her in panic.

Hinata just stood there for a moment, staring at them.

"Oh, shit," Sasuke said finally. "Please don't kill me."

"This, *cough*, this isn't what it looks like," Naruto insisted weakly.

"…good, because it looks really gay," Hinata replied frankly, the tension leaving her body.

Naruto and Sasuke both looked at each other, back at her, then at each other again.

Sasuke sprang back as if he'd been shocked, and Naruto let him go, levering himself up with one hand as he steadied the wakizashi with his other. The tip was poking out his back, and had gouged a hole in the floor.

"Naruto is an idiot," Sasuke announced, as if that explained everything.

"Hey," Naruto protested weakly, slowly pulling the blade out of his chest, "if it's stupid and it works, it's not stupid."

"It didn't work, you dumbass!" Sasuke hissed. "And now you have a HOLE in your CHEST."

"It's… *wheeze* fine," Naruto said dismissively, gasping in pain once he finally got the blade out. "I'm the kyubi, right? I can heal anything." He shook his head. "Woo, little light headed there."

Hinata stared at him intently. "Your lung is filling up with blood," she offered. "You're running low on oxygen."

"A minor… aaaagggg… inconvenience," he replied, his breathing fast and shallow. A bubble of blood and saliva formed on his lips, then popped. "All… *cough* I have to do *wheeze* is transform into a body *gasp* that doesn't have a hole in the chest, *cough* *cough* …and I'll be fine." The bloody wakizashi slipped from his fingers and clattered to the floor. "Woo."

Sasuke stood and put on an air of disinterest. He looked at Hinata. "He's getting my floor bloody," he complained.

"Srrry," Naruto gasped, forming seals with his hands. He put the image of his unstabbed body in his mind and gathered chakra. "Hensou no jutsu," he gasped.

Nothing happened. The chakra flowed out of his grasp like water through his fingers.

"..it," he complained, then burped as a bubble of air worked its way past the blood and out his windpipe. His lung promptly collapsed. "…be fine," he assured them, forming seals, gathering chakra…

…gathering chakra…

…chakra…

…

…

…

..

..

.

.

Hinata stared impassively at Naruto, who lay there, bloody and unbreathing. Even the blood that had been flowing from the hole in his chest had slowed to a steady ooze as the internal pressure forced it out his lung. She looked at Sasuke. "I think we should carry him to the hospital."

Sasuke blinked. "What are you looking at me for? I just had a shower."

X

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Authors lie: No, he's not dead. I mean, permanently. But he's already died like two other times, one in the temple.

Also, it wasn't really a joke gone wrong, Naruto deliberately set it up so Sasuke would stab him, he just said it was a joke so Sasuke would feel bad.

Sorry it took so long, folks, and this is still sort of rough copy, so I may go back and edit minor things later, but I wanted to get it out for Christmas.

Merry Christmas, everybody!


	28. Lies Made from Light and Fire: four

Some rude person poked him hard in a sensitive spot under his arm.

Naruto woke up.

"Nnnaaagh, wha-" He wiped at his eyes with hands that didn't seem to want to obey him and looked around, startled. Everything was upside down, or, more accurately, he was hanging upside down from a metal crossbar.

Directly above, or below, actually, his head, was a small round metal pan, its bottom covered in nasty looking pinkish fluid.

Hinata stood to one side, giving him an unreadable look. She had a small but noticeable blood stain on the front of her jacket, like his blood had leaked through a towel or something. Sasuke stood to the other side, looking impassive. And dressed.

Apparently, he had taken the time to get dressed before he'd came to see his dying friend.

He stared accusingly at Sasuke.

"You said you'd be gentle, since it was my first time…" he complained, sounding betrayed.

"He's fine," Sasuke announced, as if it was in doubt.

"Apparently," Naruto replied, feeling of his still bare chest. It was clean and unmarred by any sort of puncture or scar. "But, uh, why am I upside down?"

"Your lungs were full of blood. The doctors had to drain them so you could breathe," Hinata replied calmly.

"Ah. That explains why my mouth tastes like blood." He shrugged eloquently, then curled up to look at the bar. He had a curious set of padded metal ankle bracelets on, which had a clamp that hooked onto the crossbar.

He stared at it a moment.

"Huh. You know, the last time I woke up hanging upside down and bloody, unpleasant things happened." He glanced at Hinata. Her face was empty of emotion.

Ordinarily, that pretty well described the face she presented to the world, at least since the day in the academy when she'd decided to start taking the ninja life seriously. But even at her most serious, she never looked at _him_ that way.

"I suppose they still might," he said with a weak chuckle. He quickly reached up and, instead of taking the clamps off the crossbar, he unfastened the bracelets from his ankles, allowing himself to turn right side up and gently land back down on his feet.

His shinobi sandals were lying on the hospital bed nearby, and he quickly slipped them on. He looked around for his shirt and jacket. They were nowhere around.

"Just why were you shirtless when I walked in?" Hinata asked in a tone that indicated she didn't actually care, but she had decided to ask a simple question instead of screaming obscenities at him.

"Oh, uh, well, I knew I was going to get stabbed in the chest. I mean, obviously, I was trying to fake my death so Sasuke would get the mangekyo sharingan. I mean, it's supposed to be able to let Sasuke set things on fire _with his mind._ Totally worth the effort. I just didn't want to get blood on my shirt."

Sasuke snorted. "I figured."

Naruto laughed and rubbed the back of his head ruefully. "I uh, I know we're kinda dancing around the issue, but I am curious." He looked at Sasuke. "Did you get it after I passed out?"

Sasuke just looked at him as if he was the dumbest person on earth.

Naruto winced. "No, huh? Yeah, I thought so. I mean, seriously, your bloodlimit 'magically' leveling up just because you killed a friend?" Naruto's voice was scornful. "Not very likely." Then he shrugged. "Ah, well, had to make sure."

"You mean to tell me that you tried to kill yourself in an attempt to give Sasuke the mangekyo, when you _didn't_ think it was going to work?" For one brief moment, Hinata's voice cracked, betraying her emotions.

Naruto cringed. "Uh, no? I mean, yes? I mean no!" he exclaimed. "I wasn't trying to kill myself for real. I mean, I heal from everything, right? And even if I didn't, well, obviously we were close enough to the hospital…" He trailed off under the terrible gaze from Hinata's empty black eyes. "I knew I wouldn't die," he offered weakly.

Hinata just stared at him.

"…although I'm not sure if you're going to kill me or not."

Hinata just stared.

"…Hinata?" he asked.

She made some sort of half strangled noise deep in her throat, and then he was wrapped in a bone crushing hug, his face buried in her soft cleavage, which might have been nice under normal circumstances, but her jacket was stained with his blood, and the smell of your own blood is always faintly disturbing on a primal level. He awkwardly wrapped his arms around her waist.

They held that pose for a moment, then she pulled back, grabbed a wad of his hair in each hand, and pulled him in for a kiss with bruising force. He gently stroked her hair and kissed her back, and then she pulled back slightly and sank her teeth into his lower lip, her strangely elongated canines meeting with a click.

"MmmmNNNNGGGH!" he complained, unable to jerk back until she released his lip. He hissed and wiped blood from his mouth, staring back at her with wide blue eyes.

Hinata looked fairly demonic with black eyes and blood, his blood, running down her chin. "Don't. You. EVER. Do. That. _Again._"

"I won't have to!" he hurried to assure her. "I won't ever do something like that again, because I don't have to. The sharingan doesn't work that way!"

She looked at him dubiously. Even Sasuke seemed to perk up and take an interest.

He hastened to explain. "Look, Itachi told him that he had to kill his best friend in order to get the mangekyo sharingan. Now, I was kind of suspicious of that, because Itachi sort of has a history of fucking with Sasuke's head, right? I mean, he kills the family and leaves Sasuke alive. That's pretty mean. Then he makes him watch it over and over in a genjutsu, and that's even worse. And then there's that bullshit about living in fear and hate and whatever to gain the power to defeat him, when obviously the path to power involves allies and armies and shit. He was just making sure Sasuke would keep living in misery, by his own hand, even without Itachi there to mess with him. That's world class dickery right there."

Hinata nodded. Sasuke looked sick.

"So, like I said, I was already kind of suspicious. First he tells Sasuke to avoid people, then he tells him he has to kill his best friend for power? That's just making sure that if Sasuke did manage to make a friend, he'd just end up killing them and freaking out about it. But Sasuke seemed to believe it, and hell, weirder shit has happened, right?" He held his hands out helplessly. "So, I made sure that Sasuke would believe he'd killed me. And he totally believed it, too. Hahah, you should have SEEN the look on his face." Naruto laughed for a moment.

No one else laughed.

"Ahaha, hah, ahhh… Yeah, ah, anyway." Naruto wiped a tear from his eye. "It didn't work. So, obviously, it doesn't work that way. I mean, I'm not saying that Sasuke doesn't have to kill someone to get the mangekyo, but if so, I bet there's some pretty specific circumstances involved. Stone altars, star maps, runes drawn in blood, incantations in prehuman tongues… you know, the whole ritual thing."

They both stared slightly incredulously at him.

Naruto shrugged. "It's like that old story about Key, the Metal Idol. You know, the artificial girl who became human by making 30,000 friends, killing them all on a solstice night, and devouring their souls?"

"I don't think that's how that fairytale went," Sasuke said quietly.

Naruto looked smug. "Yeah, well, in the REVISED version, maybe. _I_ read the _original_."

"So you're saying that without the details of the sacrifice, just killing a friend is pointless," Hinata said.

"Exactly!" Naruto exclaimed brightly. "And it may even be a complete lie altogether. I mean, it could be the result of training or some other situation we know nothing about. Sasuke needs to do some research rather than relying on the things his brother told him." He turned to Sasuke. "I mean, damn, Sasuke, did you believe EVERYTHING your brother told you?"

Sasuke's eyes darted back and forth, unable to meet Naruto's own, and finally he hung his head.

"I hate Itachi," he muttered weakly.

Naruto grinned. "And, hey, if it had worked, we'd have that much bigger an advantage as a team, and that'd be awesome. The sharingan is already stupid powerful. With both of you using your skills and bloodlimits, and me powering it so you can use them whenever, we'd be almost unstoppable. Not that we're not already, but always keep moving forward, right? And now, we can move forward with absolutely no chance whatsoever that Sasuke will randomly turn and kill me in order to get the mangekyo sharingan!" he said brightly. "Uh, I mean, not that it was ever in doubt. Just removing any temptation."

"Naruto," Hinata announced, "I love you with all my soul…"

"I'm sensing a 'but', here."

"…but that was dumb."

"The single dumbest thing I've ever seen you do," Sasuke agreed.

Naruto looked crestfallen, then brightened slightly.

"The single dumbest thing you've ever seen me do _so far_!"

Hinata sighed. "Come on, Naruto. Let's go."

"Can we stop by Sasuke's place so I can get my shirt and jacket?"

"If you insist," Sasuke replied, sounding tired and put upon.

xxxxxxxxx

They got to Sasuke's apartment and filed in. Naruto turned immediately for the kitchen, where he'd left his shirt and jacket.

They weren't quite in the place he'd left them. They were actually wadded up on the floor, stiff and nasty with Naruto's own blood.

Naruto stared at them in disbelief. Then he turned and poked his head around the corner, looking at the place he'd bled on the floor. It had been freshly scrubbed, and was still wet and smelled of bleach. He returned to the kitchen and picked up his shirt and jacket, which had obviously been used to scrub at the bloody mess.

He looked at Sasuke incredulously.

"You knew I took them off to…" He couldn't bring himself to finish the statement. _To avoid getting them covered in blood._

"I decided to clean up first," Sasuke said innocently. "You know how blood stains whatever it's on if it has time to set and dry. _Hinata's_ jacket will never be the same after this."

Hinata stood impassively. The bloodstain on her jacket was small and easily overlooked, but then, Sasuke wasn't talking about Hinata.

It was then that Naruto noticed that Sasuke was oh so casually standing beside a mop leaned against the wall, the head still inside a bucket of nasty, bloody water.

Sasuke noticed his gaze. "Oh, yeah, well, it turns out your jacket makes a lousy mop. Who'd have guessed?"

Naruto just stared for several long minutes before he was able to form a reply.

"You suck dick, Sasuke."

xxxxxxxxx

xxxxxxxxx

Naruto had been whistling cheerfully as he and his team strolled out to the edge of Konoha, on their way to the appointed meeting with Team Ten. The day was young, the sky was pretty, it wasn't too hot yet, they'd all had breakfast, and no one was trying to kill them. They'd also largely forgiven him for the attempted murder of himself, and he'd decided to let his ruined jacket go because, honestly, there was no point in trying to get revenge on Sasuke. Revenge implied creating some sort of situation to annoy, embarrass, or inconvenience Sasuke as punishment for his actions, and Naruto was self aware enough to know that revenge was pointless. At least when all of your ideas for revenge were something you'd do anyway, even if your friend _didn't_ deserve it. He was in a pretty good, relaxed mood, so he felt like whistling.

That was until Hinata brought up the issue of Sakura, and asked if anyone had bothered to check on her.

And then Sasuke had allowed that, yes, he had.

"You went to see her? Seriously?" Naruto asked, surprised. They didn't stop walking.

Sasuke shrugged. "I owed her a date, and I never break my promises, right?" He smirked for a second before adding, "Hn."

Naruto was aware he was gaping at Sasuke. It didn't matter.

"You took her out on a date?!" he exclaimed, his voice getting shrill.

"Hn." The dark haired boy looked bored.

Naruto looked hurt. "You took her out on a date and you didn't tell us? I even asked you what you'd done that day, and you said you'd just been training!"

Sasuke spared him a glance. "I said, 'and stuff.'" He went back to staring disinterestedly down the road.

Naruto blinked. Glanced at Hinata for support. She had her hitai-ate over her eyes, hiding them from the world. With her tenketsu sealed, she no longer used chakra just looking around, but since she still had Naruto's chakra flowing through her coils, her eyes didn't revert to the normal Hyuga look, either. She also found that she could still see through the seals on her hitai-ate, though looking through the sealed metal gave the world a curiously warped perception, like looking through someone else's glasses. They'd judged it worthwhile, since she didn't want to cause unnecessary trouble by freaking out normal people with her empty black eyes.

Sasuke sighed and turned to look directly at him. "It was just a date. It was not the start of a storybook romance. It was not an episode of teen ninja drama. What, did you expect it to be some sort of big long adventure with jealous boyfriends and enemy spies and a comedic running battle and an angry father and an interrupted rooftop blowjob?"

"…!" Naruto started to say, then stopped, one finger in the air and his mouth hanging open.

"Yes, actually," Hinata admitted.

"That would have been awesome as hell, especially if we'd been there to see it and make fun of you," Naruto agreed a second later, having found his voice.

Sasuke snorted in derision. "You know, I think Sakura might have been expecting something like that, too. But no. It was just a meal and a movie."

Naruto seemed taken aback. "Huh."

They kept walking. The stone dog they were supposed to meet at was near, and they could see Shikamaru, Ino, and Chouji near it under the trees.

"…so, was the movie any good?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke shrugged. "So-so."

Naruto shrugged, watching as Chouji stood up straighter at their approach, though Shikamaru remained in a slumped posture that conveyed his utter indifference to the world, and Ino sat with her knees drawn up to her chest on the ground beside him.

"Hey," Naruto said, offering a cheerful wave. He froze.

"What-" Sasuke began.

"Shintenshin," Ino whispered, projecting her hands in front of her, aiming at Hinata.

Hinata twitched, trying to throw herself to the side to avoid the unknown attack, but she couldn't move. She grew still as Ino slumped forward onto her knees.

Neither of them could turn their head, but they could follow the soft sounds of his movement, which he clearly made no effort to hide, as Chouji calmly walked around behind them, his face set in a serious expression.

"Kagemane no jutsu, success," Shikamaru said in a bored tone of voice.

"You could sound a little more enthusiastic," Naruto chided, his eyes darting back and forth. Only his eyes and his mouth seemed under his control. Even his breathing had changed, apparently mirroring Shikamaru's own slow, steady pace, though he could change it to talk with a little thought and effort.

Shikamaru ignored him, instead turning slightly to look at Hinata, the tiny movements mirrored in all three of his captives.

"Ino?" he asked.

"I'm here," Hinata answered, the inflections of her voice strangely altered. She visibly shuddered, her muscles twitching and spasming within the limits of her shadow bind. "Hinata's vision is really _weird_."

She made a small, subtle movement, a certain quirk of the lips, and Shikamaru released her from his shadow. She stumbled slightly as she moved a few steps away from Naruto and Sasuke, but her movements quickly grew smooth and confident as she found the natural movements Hinata's body had been trained in, which was different for everyone.

"She's got a lot of chakra," Ino muttered quietly, shifting her hips uncomfortably. "What the…" She stopped and slid her hand down the waistband of Hinata's pants in the back, then her mouth quirked again. "Hinata, you ero-girl."

Shikamaru coughed slightly, blushed faintly, and tried to ignore Ino's antics, causing Naruto and Sasuke to mimic his movements, though they kept trying to turn their head to look at Ino/Hinata.

"They're being very calm about this," Chouji noted from behind the two boys.

Naruto grinned, showing a lot of teeth. A lot of very white, very sharp, very pointed teeth. Sasuke's sharingan spun quickly, not missing a movement.

"Because actions matter, not words," Ino explained seriously, raising Hinata's hitai-ate to look at them more directly, putting aside the matter of the unusual vision for the moment. Part of her ability was adapting to the new body, no matter how different. She pulled a kunai out of Hinata's equipment pouch and gestured with it. "Hinata is unharmed for now, I've just taken over her body. But I can kill her, or you, at any moment, and there's nothing you can do to stop me. And even if you could stop me, Chouji is behind you, and you can't stop Chouji."

"Well, it's like this," Shikamaru said, sounding almost resigned. "We just wanted to introduce ourselves properly."

"Hi, Shikamaru-kun," Naruto said in a tone that would have been friendly if not for the faint growling edge to it.

Sasuke said nothing.

Shikamaru was silent for a moment, waiting for Ino to speak, since these sort of social things were her job, anyway. But she had gone quiet, and Hinata's weird black eyes seemed to stare aimlessly into space.

He sighed. Troublesome girl.

"So, yeah, I'm sure that if we attack you or whatever, you'll kill us all or whatever your pride makes you do. I don't really care about that, but we're not here to cause trouble. More importantly, we know who you are. We know what happened with the last team you worked with, and all we really wanted to say was that we won't be pushed aside like that."

Naruto's feral expression faded, replaced by a more neutral, considerate one. "You heard about the others?"

Shikamaru gave him a disgusted look. "As troublesome as it was, it's more troublesome to walk into a situation with no information."

"That's… completely true," Naruto admitted, rebuffed.

"So we just wanted to let you know that, you might be stronger or more skilled, but if you mess with us, we will hurt you." Shikamaru's lips twisted, as if even having to say the words was distasteful.

Naruto raised one eyebrow. Sasuke looked like he was preparing to murder Shikamaru.

"If our interests do not overlap, there is no need for conflict," Chouji rumbled from behind them.

"Exactly," Shikamaru said, glancing between them at his friend. "Now, are we going to have any problems?"

Naruto gave the lanky, dark haired boy a measuring look, then his face split into a wide grin. "Nah, we're good."

Shikamaru seemed relieved.

Naruto laughed. And laughed some more, whooping his amusement to the world. Even Sasuke seemed somewhat taken aback by Naruto's laughter, which he felt was somewhat at odds with their situation.

Shikamaru frowned at Naruto, well aware that the blond could easily be lying about their good behavior, but unable to think of anything to do about it.

"Shikamaru?" Ino said suddenly, her voice small and quavering. "Can I get out of Hinata's head now? It's cold, and there are wolves after me."

"…wolves?" Shikamaru asked incredulously.

Ino whimpered. "It's dark in here," she said, as if that explained everything.

"One moment, Ino," Shikamaru said, then turned back to Naruto and Sasuke. "So long as we understand each other?"

Naruto chuckled again. "Yeah, it'll be fine. You're trying to protect your team. We respect that. I don't think we'll have any issues, to be honest."

Shikamaru just gave him a look. "I don't think you've ever been honest in your life."

Naruto laughed again, clearly pleased. "Ah, you got me. Yep, we're all just a bunch of liars. Just call us Team Lie." He winked. "But we'll be good."

"Alright, release Hinata," Shikamaru said.

Ino quickly formed a seal, releasing the technique, then Hinata collapsed and Ino's body sat up straight, as if poked by a needle. She shuddered and quivered as she jumped up, running her hands over her body like she was brushing off spiders.

"Ugh! What the HELL is wrong with that girl?!" she all but shrieked.

Hinata calmly climbed to her feet and stood there expectantly.

"You could have caught her," Naruto said reproachfully. "That was rude."

"I'm very sorry," Chouji said from behind them. "I would have liked to, but please excuse me for being cautious around a juken user."

"Well?" Hinata said expectantly.

Shikamaru shrugged, then released Naruto and Sasuke from his shadow hold.

Now free to look around at will, they could see the faint shadow within a shadow of Shikamaru's technique twisting along the ground, blending in with the shadows from the trees overhanging the site.

Seeing their look, he cocked his head slightly. "If there's light, there's always shadow."

Chouji rejoined his side, so they presented a unified front against Team Lie.

Naruto looked impressed, glancing at Hinata to make sure she was okay. She brushed his arm with her hand to tell him she was fine.

"No, really, what the hell is wrong with you?" Ino demanded, pointing a shaking finger at Hinata. "It was fine at first, but there's _something_ in your _head_!"

Hinata cocked her head at Ino in puzzlement. "That was me," she said simply.

Ino shuddered.

"So do we kill them now or wait till later?" Sasuke asked, sounding almost as disinterested as Shikamaru. He understood Naruto's point, but he also wanted to verbally prod Team Ten to see how they would react.

All three members of Team Ten dropped into a fighting stance.

"No, no, it's okay, Sasuke," Naruto said consolingly, putting a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. "They're just protecting each other from us. You can't blame them for _that_." He gave them all a feral, predatory grin and a wink.

"In other words, our power and corresponding reputation have grown to the point that those who were once our peers feel the need to threaten us, knowing they cannot defeat us, just so that we will notice them before we crush them underfoot. That is why Naruto is pleased, not angry at the unprovoked attack." Hinata smiled softly, directing her words at the other team. "It is rather amusing."

"Spoken as if from Kakashi himself," a new voice interrupted, and all of them turned in surprise to see a heavyset, bearded man in a green jounin's vest leaning against a tree nearby, smoking a cigarette.

Naruto's nostrils flared, but he still couldn't smell anything but the clean scent from the land around them.

Asuma took a drag as if to say, 'Jounin, kid.'

"Well, anyway," their new sensei said. "I hope you've learned your lessons from Gai. Not everyone is like Kakashi, and we all have our lessons to teach. Assumptions can bite you, hard. I think you'll find that I'm a bit different from anything you're used to. In fact, it wouldn't be too much to say that I'm the exact opposite of Kakashi."

They stared at him silently, eyes not missing a movement.

Asuma shrugged. "Maa maa, it won't be a problem. Come on, kids. Let's go grab a mission."

Left unspoken but clearly understood, at least to Naruto's team, were the words, 'I won't let it be a problem.'

They trailed along docilely, in two ranks of three, the teams clearly remaining apart. Naruto, Sasuke, and Hinata all studied their new sensei with all of their skills and abilities, each wondering what kind of ninja their new teacher was.

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Their mission for the day turned out to be a D rank assignment to clean up a training ground, which lead to Team Lie's first question of their new sensei.

"What idiot doesn't hide the evidence of their jutsu knowledge?" Naruto asked incredulously, staring at the pillars of rock from doton jutsu and the charred remains of target logs.

Asuma chuckled quietly. "There's always someone who either doesn't think or doesn't care."

"Sensei?" Ino asked. "Do you want us to tell you about the battle fought here?"

Asuma shrugged as if it didn't really matter.

"Can you read the signs?" he asked her, referring to the timeline of the sparring match and the way it had raged across the clearing.

Ino hesitated, then nodded.

"Can you?" he asked archly, turning to his three new charges.

If anyone else had asked them that, Naruto probably would have responded with a snarky bit of rudeness, because of course they could. But something about the way Asuma inflected the words made it seem as if he were mocking them, or maybe himself, or hell, maybe Kakashi. Naruto didn't know him well enough to decide, so he settled for a guarded nod.

Asuma shrugged again. "Well then, no point teaching you what you can already do." He walked away.

Blue, red, and black eyes followed him, unblinking.

"I think he's lying to us," Naruto said quietly, staring as their newest teacher began hand rolling a cigarette with the greatest of care.

His two friends glanced at him.

"I think he's exactly like Kakashi-sensei, and he's lying to us."

At the edge of the clearing, Asuma licked the paper and finished the roll, aware of and yet supremely unconcerned by the three sets of beady little genin eyes following his every movement.

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Shikamaru was well aware of Naruto's love of kage bunshin, since Ino had managed to coax that little tidbit of info out of Tenten through the use of arcane feminine powers. So he was completely expecting the blond boy to swarm the clearing with clones, just to make a point about how much more powerful he was than Team Ten.

He was right on the money as far as Naruto's use of clones went, but he was somewhat more surprised, and disturbed, when instead of making them on the spot, Naruto called them out of the bushes.

Hinata caught his look and touched Naruto's arm. Naruto turned to grin at Shikamaru.

_So he relies on the dojutsu of the other two. _He considered all he knew about the legendary information gathering abilities of the village's two strongest bloodlimit abilities, and summed up his feelings in one word.

_Troublesome._

"Doesn't everyone keep a few dozen reinforcements hiding just out of sight at all times?" Naruto asked innocently. "You know, just in case something surprising happens and things get… dicey." He closed his mouth with an audible snap of teeth.

Shikamaru shrugged, doing his best imitation of his sensei. "Of course," he agreed. "I had Chouji."

Sasuke glanced at the bigger boy, was standing nearby, studying a spear of earth rising from the ground, his expression clearly dubious.

It didn't change when Chouji leveled the projection of dirt with one well placed palm strike, then looked back at them with an expression of, 'See?'

In response, two dozen Naruto clones attacked the site of another doton jutsu, leveling the ground in moments with their combined efforts.

The two teams stared each other down, Naruto grinning, Shikamaru looking bored.

All of their attentions were drawn as a butterfly flew erratically between the two groups, buffeted by tiny breezes as it followed its own unpredictable nature.

Suddenly, they were aware that Asuma was there, peering over Ino's shoulder at the pretty, yellow butterfly.

"Sometimes," Asuma said quietly, "it's not the number of changes you make, it's the nature. The tiny winds from a butterfly's wings can have huge consequences, like altering the weather just enough to cause a typhoon to grow out of a gentle breeze thousands of miles away. Instead of a nice day, you get a huge storm that destroys houses and kills untold numbers." He rubbed his beard. "Aaa, that's what they say, anyway." He wandered away, no longer interested, and sat beneath a tree beside a stack of fresh target logs that Naruto was sure hadn't been there several minutes earlier. He wondered if Hinata or Sasuke had caught it when Asuma brought them in.

Everyone blinked.

Chouji nodded sagely at the innocent butterfly. "Don't underestimate butterflies. They're more powerful than they look."

Naruto stared at Asuma, then Chouji, then finally his blue eyes tracked the butterfly as it fluttered about.

Everyone on Team Ten flinched as Naruto suddenly sprang forward, bringing his hand down on the butterfly and driving it to the earth in a tangle of broken, limply wiggling wings.

His sandaled foot came down on it a second later, grinding it to death.

"Hah!" Naruto cried triumphantly. "I just saved thousands! Take that, butterfly!"

Sasuke nodded sagely. "Wisdom," was all he said.

"…!" Chouji responded in mute horror.

There was a tiny, but progressively growing sound, and everyone turned to see Hinata pulling a single finger back from the largest single object in the clearing, a spiked column of solid rock that had erupted from the ground in response to some ninja's technique.

Flakes fell off the rock, at first singly, then two, three, even dozens at a time, until the thousand odd pounds of rock had splintered into shards like coarse sand, which settled under its own weight.

"Little changes?" Hinata asked, her black eyes looking alien and out of place in her pale, sweet face. "We can make those."

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For an hour or so, there was little chatter between the two teams, nothing but the barest of grunts of acknowledgement or requests to move your person so I can fill in that hole before I stick you in it and save us all some effort.

Team Ten was wary, seeming to expect an attack from out of nowhere.

And given their less than completely open reception that morning, Team Lie was on full alert, like it was landscaping duty behind enemy lines. Hinata never sealed her tenketsu, and Sasuke's sharingan never stopped spinning.

Asuma felt the tension between the two teams build, and he stared up into the canopy of leaves over his head like a neophyte staring at a candle flame.

_Huh. Two hundred and thirty four leaves on one branch. And nine leaves, just nine, on one slender twig._

Asuma smiled and turned his attention to Naruto.

_Like the teacher, the student will prod for weakness where he thinks it most likely to hide._

"So, I've been wondering," Naruto began conversationally, enough, dispelling most of his clones except some still pounding dirt around fresh training logs. "What use, exactly, is a fat ninja?"

The tension in the clearing spiked. Shikamaru straightened as if a rod had been inserted into his spine. Ino pulled an elastic band out of a pouch and quickly scrunched her ponytail into a compact bun.

Chouji rose to his feet from his kneeling position and dusted his hands together, his meaty palms coming together with hard, sharp cracks.

Asuma's smile grew wider and he leaned his head back, closing his eyes in contentment.

_No weakness in that butterfly._

Naruto, sensing that he had crossed an invisible line, revised his statement.

"Now, I'm not calling you fat, I'm just saying. As ninja, we're supposed to be stealthy, right? Quick, unseen, undetected." He waved his hand vaguely. "Isn't that harder when you're larger than average?"

Hinata's gaze never wavered from Chouji. Sasuke raised one eyebrow, curious if the boy would fly into a rage.

Chouji walked up to Naruto.

Looked at him.

Naruto stared back, not intimidated in the least.

Chouji didn't say a word, he simply produced a small bag of chips, apparently from nowhere, a common ninja trick, though usually used with kunai, not snack foods.

Naruto waited for the other shoe to drop as he watched Chouji open the bag and eat the chips one by one, slowly and methodically.

Then it hit him: Chouji wasn't making a sound. Not one single sound, either his breathing, the crunching as the chips broke in his mouth, or even the crinkle from the bag itself. Chouji was eating the loudest snack food in existence while remaining completely and utterly silent.

Chouji finished the bag, tapped the last few crumbs into his mouth, then wadded, _actually wadded_, the bag up and stuffed it in a pocket.

Then, he pulled out another, and tossed it to Naruto.

It crinkled loudly as it hit Naruto's palm, the chips adding to the noise as they rustled inside.

Naruto pursed his lips, feeling the challenge. There had to be a trick to it, something to do with the way the bag was held, or something. He channeled chakra to his fingertips, carefully tugging at the two sides of the bag as he tried to get it open. Hinata or Sasuke had probably figured it out at first glance, but he didn't have those abilities, and he knew it'd be seen as a forfeit if he asked now.

The heat glued bag didn't give up its contents easily, the plasticized paper tearing with an audible rip as he tried to ease it open. He tried to do it slowly, but it just made the tearing noise last longer. Wincing, he finally just gave it a sharp pull and finished opening it, the sound seeming to echo across the silent clearing. Ah, well. He reached inside.

There wasn't anything in there.

Surprised, Naruto stared into the bag. There had been chips in there. He had FELT the chips in there, the weight, everything.

Astonished, he glanced up at Chouji, who stood silently in front of him.

Chouji was chewing silently, a satisfied expression on his face.

"Don't be rude," he said, like a pronouncement, and turned back to his duties.

Ino was torn between cheering for her teammate, and biting her nails in anxiety, wondering if they hadn't just escalated the rivalry between the teams.

But Naruto… was smiling?

No, he was grinning like a fool.

Naruto bowed deeply to Chouji, meaning every movement in it.

"Ah, my apologies, then," he said, still smiling. "I withdraw any aspersions I might have cast on your abilities as a ninja."

Chouji paused. Looked at him. Nodded once, a bob of his head.

"It's fine," he said in a friendly tone of voice, as if he was talking to Shikamaru. Chouji wasn't one for grudges.

And just like that, the tension between the two teams was broken.

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	29. Lies Made from Light and Fire: five

This is the last half of chapter four of Lies Made From Light and Fire. Because of some various shenannigans, largely my fault, I admit, anyone who had reviewed the previous chapter 28 (which was actually Light and Fire 3), wasn't able to review the current Light and Fire 4. So, being the pathetic review whore I am, I decided to split the chapter in two, just so I could create a chapter 29 that you could review. Thank you, and sorry if I got your hopes up. Mistakes were made.

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Asuma disappeared briefly as they neared completion of their tasks, although he returned quickly, bringing a special package. Kakashi's students were behaving themselves remarkably well. All things considered, they weren't bad genin. They had the boundless energy and eagerness to please of a trio of puppies, but the person they'd most been trying to emulate was almost certainly the worst possible person to pick up social habits from.

Kakashi could be who he was because he had the years of experience, the foundation of being a whole different person under his belt. He hadn't always been the irreverent, almost lackluster man he was today, and if he had been, he certainly wouldn't be nearly the caliber of ninja that he was.

His students, clever little bastards that they were, saw his attitudes and actions as the pinnacle of his development, not the counterbalance to a childhood as troubled as theirs had been.

Also, they were unbelievably rude and aggressive. It was nothing short of astonishing to see them behave as they did, when he knew that all of them were brought up to be reserved, polite, and quietly watchful. There seemed to be some unseen force driving them to stand out and make their presence known in the most formal manner possible.

Asuma's own students, however, were a good match for them. Gai's students were all a bit prickly about their skills and their pride, so they naturally clashed with Team Seven. But the youngest Ino-Shika-Cho team were laid back and reserved almost to a fault. Chouji had an inner poise that could not be broken, for all he was terrible at shedding his reliance on certain vices. With no crippling fears, he had no urge to lash out at others. Shikamaru was much the same, insomuch that his motivations seemed to be as fond of laying on its back and passively watching the world pass by as he was as a whole. Ino was the only one of the trio who even came close to the kind of jealous pride that Team Seven wore like a cloak, and if she couldn't match Hinata in the combat arts, she would comfort herself in being more feminine, which could be just as deadly as a knife in the back.

Hinata had proved to be very nearly as aggressive as her teammates, and Ino had called her on 'tomboyish' behavior once.

"Hell, we like her like that, right Sasuke?" Naruto had called back. "She's just one of us boys."

"Just one of the boys," Sasuke echoed.

There was a short pause.

Then, Sasuke, to the surprise of everyone, and considerable delight of Ino, had whipped off his shirt and started beating his bare chest in a parody of the legendary mountain gorilla.

"AAAAAAaaaaAAaaAAaaAAAAHAaaaa!" Sasuke whooped with a primal scream, gaining looks of utter astonishment from Asuma's students.

Interestingly, Naruto had an expectant, waiting grin on his face, and Hinata…

Hinata looked resigned?

Sasuke immediately pulled his shirt on and went back to his earlier bored, detached demeanor, so like Shikamaru's. He turned to Hinata.

"Your turn," he said simply.

Hinata sighed defeat, whispering the words 'I knew it had to be something' to herself, and Naruto broke up laughing. After some shocked delay, Team Ten joined them, torn between laughing at Hinata and laughing at the surprising actions of the last Uchiha.

Overhearing his own chuckles, and catching a glimpse of his momentarily shocked expression, one of the remaining Naruto clones spoke quietly to him.

"Yeah, the first time I heard him crack a joke, I thought he'd gone insane," Naruto confessed. "Turns out that he just likes being mean to people more than he liked being a stuck up prick. Either way he's a bastard, but at least this way, he's a funny bastard."

"It's better to be involved but disliked than to remain neutral but alone," Asuma replied. "Of course, that goes for the rest of you. Yes, they are out to get you, but not today, not here. You've got to live while you can."

The clone stared at him for a moment, then dispelled.

Heh. Kakashi might have been the worst person to teach them social skills, but he'd definitely done a job on their ninja skills. Naruto no more believed he could trust Asuma or his students than he believed he could trust the Mizukage. Kakashi had them looking for games and plots under every word and action, skills many ninja didn't learn until they were chunin, and some never seemed to learn at all.

Ah, well. He didn't expect them to trust him today, but hopefully they'd realize that no one from Asuma's team was going to be out to get them tomorrow, either, or the next day. They'd found peace with each other, and instead of being satisfied with that, they needed to find it with others as well.

Kakashi had taught them to stay alive, and given the danger they saw, that was certainly the highest priority. Asuma, however, would teach them how to live.

"Well, now that we've got this training ground nice and fixed up," he said, strolling forward with a large, flat box under his arm, "what do you say we use it for a little training?"

Kakashi's students perked up, interested. They'd all worked to fill in the holes and set up new posts, and they were probably hoping for some sparring, or perhaps some jutsu hints. Knowing Kakashi, the guy almost certainly hadn't taught them a single ninjutsu or genjutsu, and his method of teaching taijutsu was to viciously exploit any openings with a well placed, and painful, strike. No, Kakashi was all about teaching them by forcing them to learn how to learn on their own.

"I thought, since we'd all watched him so valiantly battle against the ruthless chains of gravity last week, we'd give Naruto a chance for a rematch." Asuma paused, gauging their reactions. His team looked confused, Kakashi's students looked wary. "For our own amusement, of course." He proudly presented the flat box.

"Ah, gravity, my old nemesis," Naruto said cautiously, studying the box.

It seemed to be made out of a combination of thin wooden slats and thick, mottled green cloth, silk, probably. It was rectangular, about a meter wide and two meters long, and about a half meter thick, which made it quite large and bulky, for all it didn't seem to weigh much.

Then, Asuma tugged on a seam running down the side, and with the creak of dry, springy wood, it unfurled to even larger dimensions, becoming much like a large, foldable paper wall. It wasn't purely rectangular anymore, now having hints of wings and a defined tail, and they also saw that the camouflage color was only on the top. Asuma flipped it over, and the underside was a light grey the color of a cloudy sky. Silk straps dangled from the thickest support struts, and a coiled tail was tied to the bottom as well, waiting for deployment.

"It's a yakko, a sentinel kite," Asuma explained. "Basically, a man-lifting kami-tori they use to see long distances out in the plains, since there aren't many high spots. It was captured from some grass nin a while back, and it's been laying around in the general armory taking up space since then. No one really knows how to use it and certainly no one feels like breaking their neck trying to figure out how. Plus, you need a really strong wind to lift them, and we just don't have it around here."

Naruto stared at it, somewhat stunned, but also strangely intrigued.

Asuma handed it to him. "So, since you seem to have no problem throwing yourself around in the sky, I figured you might want to try having some actual control while you're up there."

"So with this… I can actually fly, huh?" Naruto mused, turning it over and tugging at the straps, testing their firmness.

"Well, you're supposed to have it anchored to the ground, and the wind just lifts it into the air," Asuma admitted. "But I've heard of the riders cutting the ropes and gliding for a pretty good ways. If you can somehow figure out how to hang on and make shadow clones to push off of at the same time, you should be able to get a pretty good ways before you run out of chakra."

"I don't run out of chakra," Naruto replied distractedly, thumping on the thin wooden slats that made the frame.

Asuma's students gave him odd, speculative looks, but were ignored.

"Hinata?" Naruto asked suddenly, looking at his girlfriend.

Hinata shrugged. "I'm surprised it doesn't fall apart in your hands. There are at least four dozen ways to turn it into a tangled wad of scraps."

Naruto nodded seriously, and turned to Asuma.

"So… how do I start?" he asked, his mouth twisting into an eager grin.

The elder jounin demonstrated what he knew of the straps and the way the wings would flex and shift if a certain bar was twisted.

"Ah, sensei, isn't it going to be difficult to launch?" Ino asked curiously. "If he has to get off the ground by jumping, wouldn't trying to jump with the kite be harder?"

Asuma shrugged. "Probably. I'll help and give him a good hard throw, but it may not be possible from the flatlands like this. It'd be a lot easier to throw him off the Hokage monument, since he'd have more time to figure out how to fly before he hit the ground."

"I like that idea," Sasuke admitted. "Why don't we go with that plan?"

Asuma glanced at the Uchiha, stroking his beard thoughtfully.

"Because the fall will hurt more?" he asked.

Sasuke shrugged, as if that was self evident.

"Well, I'd thought about it," Asuma admitted. "And we could all watch and scream unhelpful advice while he plummets to his death." He waved his hand helplessly. "I decided against it because I figured he'd somehow manage to crash into something expensive, and I'm not paying, are you?"

Sasuke actually appeared to consider it for a moment before giving their sensei the point.

With little further ado, Naruto managed to get a single strap around his chest, and his feet to stick to a crossbar with the same chakra technique involved in tree walking. This left his arms free to move around, but he quickly grabbed the wings when Asuma picked him up by the front of his shirt and dangled him from his impressively large fist.

Asuma wondered, briefly, if Sasuke's sharingan would be able to pick up the technique he was about to do, but rated it pretty unlikely. He made a series of one handed seals, hidden by his body, and most of it was a pure chakra molding exercise. Hinata might be able to spot the seals, if she was looking, and together they might be able to piece the technique back together. If so, they deserved to know it. That was how you taught genin, unless you were Kakashi.

"Any last words, kid?" Asuma asked, cocking his arm back to throw Naruto like a dart.

"ActuaaaaaAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAHAHHHAAAAA!" Naruto screamed as he was sent hurtling skyward with a combination of brute strength and a tremendous gust of wind. In the brief, lucid moment of weightlessness at the apogee of his rise, Naruto laughed. "Yeah, I thought that was going to happen," he admitted to himself.

The kite slid backwards, caught air in reverse, flipped with a sickening whirl, and immediately began its descent.

_Oh hey, there's the ground. It does not appear to be that far away._

Asuma had given him a tremendous throw, as if he'd fly into the sky and land among the stars. However, even as powerful as the throw and tailwind had been, Naruto was still only about a hundred feet in the air, and a hundred feet can disappear really quickly.

Naruto hastily brought his hands together and started making kage bunshin. The first pushed off his gut with an 'oof', giving him a slight upward boost that was mostly canceled by the resistance from the wings. The second and the third didn't do much better, though at least he wasn't falling anymore.

People were screaming unhelpful and unsolicited advice at him from the ground, which apparently was a part of their entertainment. He ignored them and used his usual method of dealing with a problem.

He brute force out thought it.

Naruto made a dozen clones and sent them out in all directions at once, each with instructions to fall as long as possible and watch him while he studied different combinations of pulling on the kite struts and sending new clones out.

As usual, studying the problem from lots of different angles worked pretty well, even if towards the end he was also getting back the memories of a lot of tree branches through the sternum, which told him he was closer to the ground than he really should be.

Soon, shifting his weight to the back of the kite and making a lot of clones very fast in succession, he managed to get a relatively stead, though still jerky, forward acceleration that caused the kite to rise as well.

He kept going, dropping clones to fall naturally as well as the ones pushing against his feet to send him forward, and he figured out how to circle upwards in a spiral like a vulture on a thermal, staying over roughly the same area of the forest.

It was… beautiful up there. Forest stretched for miles all around, with one noticeable circle several kilometers away, which contained the most heavily developed parts of Konoha. He could see the Hokage monument, and this time he was higher. Much higher, about at the same level that the high flying hawks and long ranging carrion birds flew at. He stopped making clones, grabbed the wings, and settled into a glide.

Below him, the trees were dotted with small clearings, including the one where his friends waited. Over to one side, the trees grew steadily taller, until they were monsters that dwarfed the merely normal forest that dominated most of the countryside.

The air rushed by his head, tousling his hair and whistling in his ears as he steadily glided down. It was fresh, cool and clean up here, without the muggy haze trapped by the trees, a dingy cloud clinging to the forest canopy below. Whoever said trees cleaned up the air was full of shit, he could _see_ the filth in the air down there.

He dipped one wing, bobbing slightly, and started a wide arc over Konoha. He felt a little like what he supposed a bird might feel like looking down at its nest, or, a new idea struck him, a god looking down on his people.

It was just so incredible up there. He was so close to being truly free, his only restraint the silk strap across his chest and his own grip on the kite at his back. The leaves were all green and healthy, fluttering gently in the sunlight. The sky was clear and blue.

He couldn't stop smiling, and he was still smiling twenty minutes later when he botched the landing and Asuma had to save him from crashing face first into a tree.

"So, what was it like up there?" Ino asked curiously, having been the most open admirer of how high and far he'd gone on the kite.

"Oh, it was awesome!" Naruto replied enthusiastically. "Thanks, Asuma-sensei, that was a great idea!" He paused, searching for words, then shrugged and made eight clones.

All nine Narutos began talking simultaneously, overlapping each other in their haste to explain.

"Everything was so green-"

"-like a bird-"

"-so BLUE-"

"-little bitty people-"

"-cool air-"

"-see Konoha-"

"-kinda wobbly-"

"-see the monument-"

"-the Forest of Death-"

"-see EVERYTHING!" he finally finished, still full of bubbly energy, despite all the clones he'd made.

"…" they all replied, shocked at the seemingly genuine enthusiasm he was displaying for something that didn't directly contribute to his ability to efficiently kill people.

Asuma grinned tolerantly.

"Well, at least you had fun," Chouji said philosophically enough, knowing that he would never be able to fly such a flimsy contraption.

That seemed to cause Naruto to realize how open he was being, and his whole body language changed, drawing in on himself.

"Well, you know, it could be useful, too. It was pretty fast, so I could cover a lot of ground. And it could be used for recon missions and stuff, like they did originally," he explained defensively.

His teammates stared at him dubiously, but it was Hinata who acted first.

She reached up, lightly touched her tenketsu to unseal the chakra feeding her eyes, and rather pointedly stared off into space.

"Oh, hey look!" she said with false cheer, standing firmly on the ground surrounded by trees. "I can see my house from here!"

Sasuke snickered cruelly at the crestfallen look on Naruto's face.

But Naruto quickly recovered and playfully pushed Hinata's hitai-ate back down, covering her eyes.

"Heh, well, yeah, as Hinata-chan pointed out, our best bet for long distance recon is her, so I guess it's not gonna be that useful after all." He grinned. "But it was fun. I want to do that again sometime."

"Hinata, that was cruel," Ino said reproachfully. "Why'd you do that? I thought you loved him?"

Hinata gave Ino a level stare, the light reflecting off the metal forehead protector covering her eyes.

"We're shinobi. We're rough, vicious killers in a rough, vicious world," she said plainly. "If our love and friendship is to survive, it's got to be just as rough and tough."

"…oh," Ino replied, not knowing how to express the disagreement she felt but couldn't quite justify.

Naruto laughed and put his arm around Hinata's shoulders.

"You might even say, we like it rough," he said with a grin.

Ino and Chouji both blushed and looked away, Shikamaru just sighed.

Asuma, though, looked at them thoughtfully, and wondered how to approach the issue. Like Ino, he disagreed with Hinata's statement, but unlike her he knew how to put it into words. However, he kept his mouth shut for the moment, wondering what to do with the new information.

Clearly, Naruto did have something, some last vestige of innocence and childhood still hiding within him, a gentler, more innocent part of him that wasn't entirely comfortable with the person he was becoming.

And just as clearly, Hinata had thrown away hers.

All this time they'd been assuming that Naruto was the corrupter, the influence that had turned a child into a killer, and maybe some of that was true, certainly his teammates both tried to please him enough. But it was another case of genin falling for the 'do as I say, not as I do' trap.

Maybe, just maybe, instead of lifting him out of the darkness, Naruto's friends were pulling him into it.

And if so, what could be done about it? There would be no separation of that team. He could see it in the way they stood together, the way they watched each other's blind spots, the way they looked at each other. To tear them apart would be to kill them.

Asuma sincerely hoped that his impression was wrong.

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After some deliberation, which Team Ten seemed to consider with a strange intensity, it was decided that they would all eat curry for lunch.

For Naruto and his team, it was a very interesting discussion, broken only twice as Chouji, who was apparently the considerate one, asked them their opinions on various foodstuffs. He did most of the talking in general, but to the various gifts of insight the members of Team Seven were gifted with, Shikamaru's noncommittal slouches and bored looks changed slightly with each reasoned suggestion, which Chouji was apparently able to read at a glance. Ino was the voice of moderation and Asuma the final authority.

It was, actually, slightly impressive in that it showed how their team worked together harmoniously, without the playful bickering and backhanded complimentary insults of Team Seven.

If an accurate representation of how they lived and worked together, and not just banding together in the presence of a perceived threat, it bore thought.

"Asuma-sensei, if you don't mind me asking," Naruto asked politely as they all walked towards lunch, "what is your team's specialty?"

He shrugged. "Well, we do a lot of taijutsu training, since their best techniques are family styles I can't teach them, so I guess you could say we've been focusing on personal combat."

Naruto shook his head. "No, I mean, what types of missions are you training them for?"

Asuma ahhed and rubbed his beard thoughtfully. "Well, they're training to be able to handle a wide variety of missions, but if you were to pick a given type that they'd be most suitable for… hmm. I'd say capture/kill type missions."

Naruto stared at him.

Asuma thought about it a little bit more, than smiled and nodded. "Yeah, that'd be it. Capture/kill, or if you'd rather use a different term, kidnapping and assassination. Only Chouji has the kind of strength you'd need for a combat team, and none of them have the right abilities for tracking, but they're pretty much perfect for taking out specific groups of enemies." He gave Team Seven a smile.

Team Seven was no longer looking at him, instead studying their counterparts with a fresh eye.

Chouji shrugged, Shikamaru ignored them, and Ino hunched her shoulders in an almost embarrassed but defiantly proud manner that suggested she was worried that others might not think assassination as a proper job for a beautiful young woman, but she had the knack for it and was proud of it anyway.

Three sets of eyes zeroed in on her.

_Weak, but potentially dangerous_, Hinata thought.

_Weak, but potentially useful_, Naruto thought.

_Hinata doesn't trust her and Naruto is intrigued. How can I make this interesting…_ Sasuke thought quietly.

It was Hinata who spoke first.

"Ino, what was that technique you used against me?" Hinata asked.

Ino looked wary. "It's one of my family's techniques, called the Shintenshin."

"Could I convince you to demonstrate that technique again?" she asked politely. "I saw you using it, and I caught a glimpse of something unbelievable that I hope was just the side effect of looking through my hitai-ate."

Ino shook her head firmly. "No way. If we get into a fight or something, I might, but there's no way I want to be inside of your head again." She gestured at Sasuke. "And Sasuke might be cute and all, but I still don't want to give away family techniques."

Hinata glanced at Sasuke, wordlessly asking him to back her up.

He shrugged. "If you're trying to protect it from me, don't bother." He quickly formed hand seals, the same ones she used, and thrust his hands at Shikamaru.

Everyone flinched, but Sasuke's body didn't collapse and Shikamaru just gave them all a long suffering look.

Sasuke held out his hands. "I saw the hand seals, but I can't copy bloodlimits. Everyone knows that."

"It's not a bloodlimit," Ino countered.

"Now you're just lying to us," Sasuke retorted. "If it wasn't a bloodlimit, I could have copied it. I'm Uchiha, that's what we do. Same thing with that shadow technique."

Shikamaru smiled for a change. "Also not a bloodlimit."

Sasuke snorted and dropped it, deciding that the argument was beneath him. They could lie as much as they wanted, but he knew they had bloodlimits. He might not have had the kind of education most Uchiha would have had, since he'd been alone for so many years, but he had a family library full of scrolls, and the Yamanaka, Nara, and Akimichi were very clearly listed as bloodlimit holders. They could lie and quibble about what made an actual 'bloodlimit' but that was just semantics. Same with the Aburame and the Inuzuka. They might claim that it was only their contracts with the bugs and the dogs that enabled them to do the things they did, but that was just covering up the fact that no one but members of those clans had ever been able to do those techniques with those contracts.

"I don't want to be possessed again, once was enough, thank you," Hinata said, bringing the conversation back on track. "I simply want to see the technique with uncovered eyes. I can't copy it, and if what I think I saw is accurate, I wouldn't want to."

"The answer is still no," Ino said firmly.

"What if I could get you a date with Sasuke?" Hinata pressed.

"Hey!" Sasuke protested immediately.

Ino rolled her eyes. "Sasuke clearly doesn't want to date me, or he wouldn't be dating Sakura. No deal."

"It's not that," Sasuke explained. "If I've got to seduce some girl for a mission, I'll do it, but this is Konoha. I'll probably end up marrying a girl from here, since rebuilding my clan _is_ one of my eventual goals," he said, giving Naruto and Hinata a significant look. "I won't go around trading dates for favors because that would cheapen any eventual love that might develop."

Naruto grinned and started to open his mouth, but Sasuke cut him off.

"And don't give me any crap about this. I'm serious," he warned before turning back to Ino. "Ino, for one thing, I'm not dating Sakura. I did, yes, carry her out on one date, because she impressed me. That does not mean we're dating. The point is, if I wanted to date Sakura again, or if I wanted to ask you out, for instance, it would be because I was genuinely interested in dating you. No other reason." He gave Hinata a disgusted look and turned away.

"…so, yeah, Sasuke's the romantic on our team," Hinata continued after a moment. "Anyway. Name your price. I offer… neutrality in all things related to your interests that don't directly conflict with my own, and the kind of jutsu advice you can only get from a Hyuga. Remember, I can see your coils directly, so if you're having trouble with something…" She shrugged.

Ino actually wavered for a moment. "Neutrality?" she asked, raising one eyebrow. "Not assistance?"

It was Naruto who shrugged helplessly. "Well, it beats our usual track record of actively interfering with other people's plans for our own amusement. Tell you what, I'll throw in active assistance. Three favors, your choice. While our specialties are, admittedly, more inclined towards breaking stuff and counter ops, I'm sure we'll get some missions where we have to help people someday. It'll be good practice." He smiled brightly, showing teeth.

"Three favors," Hinata agreed.

Ino hummed softly to herself, eyeing Hinata speculatively. "And the jutsu help?"

"As I said, I can see chakra. If you're molding it inefficiently, or in the wrong amounts on each seal, I can spot the mistake and guide you until you get it right. I use it to help Naruto quite a bit, who, as you may recall, was the worst at ninjutsu techniques in our class. Now…" She smiled. "Not so much."

"And what are the limits on that 'advice'?"

"No actual techniques, just help on the ones you get from other sources. If you want an actual technique, it'll cost you one of those three favors."

Ino's jaw dropped. "You would trade an actual jutsu for another look at mine? How many jutsu do you know, anyway?"

Hinata smiled. "More than you'd think."

That was the moment where Asuma felt a little silly for offering them a few hints at an easy wind jutsu earlier, because he didn't doubt her smug boast at all. He'd assumed Kakashi hadn't taught them a single technique, but either the scarecrow had decided to just give them out like candy… Or the three devious little bastards in front of him had stumbled into some poorly guarded stash of techniques and lost precious little time exploiting the resource.

Sharingan, Byakugan, unlimited chakra, who knew how many different techniques… They should all be killed for the betterment of mankind, he realized, and laughed.

You didn't become a ninja if you let little things like the potential horror of human limitations being released scare you. Actually, it just made him realize exactly how valuable they could be to the various people interested in them.

And yet they'd ended up with him. Gai was a devious bastard, when you got down to it, and Asuma never forgot that. He'd almost certainly stuck Asuma with them because Asuma had no lofty ambitions outside of his own students and maybe a few things he'd like to do to Kurenai.

With Kurenai. He meant with Kurenai.

He glanced around warily.

"So do we have a deal?" Hinata asked.

Ino looked at her, her face set in a stern line, and Hinata could see that they did, in fact, have a deal. It was written in the set of her shoulders, the faraway look in her eyes, and the tension in her mouth. All she had to do now was close it.

"Just tell me one more thing. Why do you want to see it?" Ino asked.

Hinata nodded. "As I said, I caught a glimpse of something pretty incredible when you performed that technique. I simply want to see if it was real." She shrugged helplessly. "I can't be any more specific than that without seeing it again. I'm not even sure what I saw."

Ino gave her a hard look, then nodded. "Deal. But I'm going to want at least one jutsu."

Together, they continued through the village to the curry restaurant they'd decided on. Team Seven was absolutely astonished when Asuma ended up paying for their meals as well.

Naruto nudged the plate of food in front of him dubiously, while Sasuke stared at his and Hinata performed seals for some obscure Hyuga eye technique.

Asuma sighed. "Oh for… Look, I'm only buying for you because I know Kakashi never would, and it amuses me. I knew it would freak you out."

Naruto looked up, seeming curiously vulnerable.

"It's working," he assured the jounin.

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After lunch they all went back to the training grounds. Asuma said he intended to let them spar a bit, under close supervision, so murdering teammates was strictly forbidden, but he was also willing to let Ino demonstrate her jutsu for Team Seven.

"I don't really feel like possessing anyone, so I'll just cast out and return. Is that okay?" she asked Hinata.

"You can do it without a target?" Hinata asked, surprised.

"Of course," Ino replied, but didn't elaborate.

Hinata nodded. "That should be fine." She raised her hitai-ate and unsealed her tenketsu, letting power flow to her black eyes once again.

Words really could not describe the things she saw with her vision like that. The normal byakugan, if such a thing could be called normal, already gave the ability to see wavelengths of light normal eyes couldn't hope to see, as well as the ability to see both physical and spiritual energy as chakra. But, as she'd discovered, there were a great many more dimensions to the world around her than she'd ever guessed, and she could see all of them.

Watching some of them apparently stare back at her was something she'd learned to quickly ignore as 'just one of those things'.

Ino took up position a little way away from the group, facing into the forest, performed the seals for the Shintenshin, and thrust her hands away from her. For a split second, her body started to go limp, then consciousness returned to her and Ino stood straight again, looking back at the others to gauge their reactions.

Naruto noted the lag time between performing the technique and going back to alertness. Sasuke saw that, as well as finer details of the way her chakra flared, then dropped to an ebb in that moment of weakness.

Hinata stared unmoving for several moments before she said anything.

"That is arguably the most disgusting thing I have ever seen," she said seriously.

Sasuke immediately turned around and started walking away, his expression stony. Naruto seemed to consider that sentence for a moment, his eyes widening in horror, and then, surprisingly, puked on the ground at his feet.

The sound hit Sasuke as he was walking away, and that caused him to lose it too. Sasuke dropped to his hands and knees and retched noisily.

"Eww," Ino complained.

Hinata remained standing, her expression frozen.

After a moment, Naruto straightened shakily and wiped the back of his hand across his mouth.

Shikamaru stared at him.

"You threw up?" he asked incredulously.

"Little bit, yeah," Naruto admitted.

Sasuke was still horking lunch all over the ground, though he seemed to be finishing up, since there was getting to be more gagging and less splashing.

"_Why_?"

"What, are you kidding me?" Naruto exclaimed. "I _know_ what she's seen. _I_ was _THERE_."

After a moment, Sasuke rejoined them, looking pale while he swished his mouth out with water from a canteen. Naruto had a point. Always carry a canteen.

Naruto gestured vaguely at Sasuke. "And the horrible things? They were happening to him." He shuddered. "So if she says it's worse…"

"Shut up, Naruto, for all our sakes," Sasuke growled, closing his eyes and swallowing.

"Just what did you see?" Ino asked, offended. "I mean, it's my technique, and it's really useful, but I always thought it was rather elegant and refined." She tossed her ponytail and glared.

"Well, I wasn't sure when I first saw it, but wh-"

Sasuke immediately stuck fingers in his ears and closed his eyes against reading her lips. He really, really didn't want to know.

"La la la la la la la la…" he mumbled, making sure he couldn't understand her words.

"-so I was watching closely this time, and I saw chakra infusing your body, then you flared your spiritual chakra… and then you tore your soul out and threw it across the screaming void between life and death, and also the clearing, and then your soul just stopped flying and went back, where it sort of…" Hinata paused, searching for words, "…_slurped_ back into your body."

Everyone stared at her with wide eyes except for Sasuke, who was still shutting out the conversation, and Ino, who frowned. "It's a lot neater than 'slurping', I'll have you know," she insisted.

"You're still tearing out your soul and throwing it at people," Hinata countered.

Ino shrugged and hunched her shoulders defensively. "Well, yeah, how else are you gonna possess their minds and bodies?"

Hinata just stared at Ino, eyes wide.

Sasuke, hoping the conversation was over, cautiously opened one eye and peeked.

Naruto's gaze went distant for a moment as he considered what Hinata had told them, then, as politely as he could manage, he turned away from them and threw up again.

"Huuuuulp!"

It was yet another moment Sasuke's sharingan would record that he would always regret seeing.

First, Naruto seemed lost in thought. Then, he was spraying half digested curry on the ground.

Sasuke quickly squinched his eyes shut again.

"LA LA LA LA LA LA LA…"

"So if it's so disgusting, why aren't you…?" Shikamaru asked, waving at Naruto and Sasuke.

Hinata just looked at him. Her expression and the empty, gaping voids that replaced her eyes somehow conveying the wordless screaming horrors she had born witness to.

Shikamaru just grunted, unimpressed.

"Yeah, well, I've seen Chouji's dad in a thong," Shikamaru countered, sounding bored by the exchange.

Hinata couldn't help but smile at that.

"La la la la la la I'm not listening…." Sasuke chanted in a sing song voice, oblivious to all.

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Authors Lie: Well, a bit faster this time. The main delay was that I got sucked into Saints Row 2 coop. It was surprisingly good, especially since I generally don't care for the whole gang banger thing. Of course, little humor bits like being able to make your whole gang wear ninja outfits and assassinate the odd pirate, not to mention dress up like a spartan and ride a minibike around killing random people to the tune of Ride of the Valkyries. I mean, what other game will not only let you grab a pimp and throw him off a pier, but actually scores you and keeps track of your best distance? The genius of the game is that it rewards you for the things you'd do anyway.

I almost freaking died when I accidentally touched off a ninja/stripper war. Like two dozen ninjas versus about fifteen strippers. Strippers shanking ninjas, ninjas shotgunning strippers… I loled.

Lets ride, ninja.

Anyway. Last time I posted a chapter I was rushed getting it out on Christmas day, so I neglected to mention a few things. Most importantly, the wonderful Buni-san gave me some People Lie fanart of Naruto for christmas. There's a link in my bio. Also Tengokujin did a revised inked version of the one I drew a while back. It's also linked.

New interesting fics wise, I've added some to my favorites list. Buni-san is rewriting her fic, Aniki. Hardcore Heathen is moving forward on his somewhat twisted crossover (Naruto? On Arrakis? Oh, god, those poor Fremen.) And… well, there's more, check my favorites for the recent updates. Some really good stuff in there.

Hope you enjoyed, and don't forget to review!

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…Oh, and one more thing. A while back, when I was trying to get back into the writing groove again, I did a challenge exercise just for fun. Basically, people would suggest topics, and I would do my best to write in character Team Lie responses to those topics. Some were alright, most were meh, but someone ended up asking Team Lie about the various breasts in the series.

So, I give you, just as a bonus, Sasuke's thoughts on the breasts for most of the original cast of Naruto.

Sasuke: Although impressively well endowed for a girl of her age, and certainly the proud owner of two cups full of potential, Hinata has yet to reach the apex of mammalian development. Her breasts are generous and womanly, putting the practicalities of gentle motherhood to the forefront of the mind, and while comforting, she lacks a certain ineffable pointedness to enter into the realm of sex kitten. In short, despite the condition of her body and the firmness of will in her mind, Hinata is tame. Ino rates barely noticeable, and then only because she is still budding as a young flower, and Sakura does not deserve consideration, except, of course, to dismiss her. Tenten is not bad, though she hides behind her clothing, denying me the chance to fully rate her, and Hinata has been less than forthcoming on Tenten's attributes. She has the eyes to see, but alas, she lacks the vocabulary to adequately convey the firmness of purpose or the shape of convictions. Truly, she is not a connoisseur. Among those older than ourselves, the jounin Kurenai has a pleasing proportion of breast size to body, though, sadly, the somewhat mannish cast of her facial attributes cools the desire to run through her valley. And seriously, what is up with that dress? The tokubetsu jounin, Anko, rates far higher. Generous portions, nicely round, and the decoration of her decolletage is without peer. I would love to know how she manages to have her armored mesh form so perfectly around her chest; usually it stretches between the luscious peaks and leaves a gap inside, giving one the impression of a single, if quite wide, mammary. Most kunoichi would use the resulting pocket to hide weapons, yet somehow Anko-san feels she can do without such a hiding place. Still, I am sure she has many more weapons secreted around her body, even more so than normal, and I would be keen to investigate both the nature of her impressively molded clothing and the replacement hiding places she has found for her weapons of bodily harm. Personally. Indeed, I am put in mind of a priceless treasure, surrounded by a chain link fence and guarded by a vicious but well bred canine. Ah, for the true pinnacle of human development, we need look no farther than the impressively weighted arguments of the legendary slug princess, the Sannin Tsunade. Though some might dismiss them as 'too big', if such a thing can be said to exist, and indeed somewhat ponderous and obeying the laws of gravity, the sentiment is both spurious and terribly flawed. For Tsunade's breasts are as the bosom of the moon itself. The moon is a stellar jewel, a great landscape that would dwarf a man as insignificant were the man to stand on its surface, yet with the proper distance, we can see it all at once, and it is made all the more gorgeous by its very inattainability. One might as well wish for the moon as wish for a loving embrace within the depths of the notoriously reticent goddess Tsunade. No, they are not meant for having, but they light up our lives when all is dark and we stare at the great pale globe when pensive. We write poetry about its beauty, we woo our merely mortal women beneath the soft light of their magnificence. And as the tugging of the moon in its many moods control the comings and goings of the tide, so, too, do we ebb and flow with the gravity of her big ol' titties. However, I have seen perfection in mortal form, and it belongs to the most unlikely of sources. A lie, but are illusions not what we construct to ward off those portions of our lives which we are uncomfortable looking at? Nay, perhaps they are of false origins, but they are no less compelling, and truth is what you make of it. Large, yet perky, with a rounded cone shape as if designed for speed, and lovely pink nipples set just high enough that they appear to be looking up at you, daring to meet your eyes. Skin many shades darker than the paleness in fashion, yet with a sun kissed health that unabashedly tells of uninhibited play in the fullness of the outdoors, thumbing the nose at the staid mediocrity of traditional authority, and whispering of wild, bestial romps through summer wildflowers. Nature's most unnatural fruits, all wrapped up in an orange peel. No, I have seen, marveled, and even touched perfection. Truly, I am blessed.


	30. Lies Made from Light and Fire: six

Ino growled annoyance as her fist slammed into Naruto's midsection, only to meet absolutely no resistance at all, the regular bunshin unraveling before her eyes. The lack of resistance left her off balance for a crucial second, and then the real Naruto unhenged from his hiding place as a bush behind her and bumtackled her into the dirt. She twisted her head at the last moment to avoid eating grass, and he slammed a kunai into the ground millimeters in front of her eyes before he bounced off and went hunting for the rest of her team.

Ino groaned and rolled over away from the kunai. If it'd been a real fight, she'd be dead, so by the rules of their game, she was out.

Sasuke stared down at her, his mouth set in an almost infinitesimal quirk.

"I know, I know, I overextended on the punch. He set me up, I fell for it." Grumbling, she climbed to her feet.

Sasuke shrugged. "I told you that you get overeager on your power blows." He made a bunshin and stood behind her. "Now, try it again." The match was Team 10 versus Naruto. Sasuke had been roped in to help Ino with her taijutsu as part of Hinata's favors to Ino, and Ino had no idea at all what Hinata had promised Sasuke in return.

From somewhere else in the woods came Naruto's shout.

"SON OF A BITCH! AGAIN!"

Ino giggled. It sounded like Naruto had been outmaneuvered by Shikamaru, and lost yet again.

"Without his clones and his jutsu, he can't quite overcome your team," Sasuke noted. "Though you keep dying."

Ino shrugged. "In a real fight, it wouldn't have been my body. So I usually play the bait role while Shikamaru and Chouji set up the endgame. I can dispel my jutsu really, really quick." Her possession technique had its limits, of course, the most notable of which was that if whatever body she was in died with her soul in it, the stress would effectively sever her tenuous connection to her original body and kill her. The actual moment of death for a body could give a lot of leeway, however.

Ino also quite enjoyed her surprising ability to freak out Team Seven with descriptions of her training and techniques, which even the otherwise jaded genin found creepy as fuck. All ninja courted danger, but few spent more time on the very edge of the howling abyss of true death as the Yamanaka. Sasuke had even comedically conceded the point that they didn't have any sort of actual bloodline, but the reason no Uchiha had ever copied their techniques was that no Uchiha had ever gone THAT batshit insane, which Naruto and Hinata, who both knew Sasuke's family history, found hilarious, and even Asuma kind of coughed and fought a smile and wouldn't look at Ino for a while.

"Well, if you'd quit leaving yourself off balance when you think you have him, maybe you could avoid getting your body killed." He motioned to his bunshin. "As I said, try it again."

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"The range on that jutsu is obscene," Naruto grumbled as, for the third time that day alone, he fought with all his might to break the tenuous bond of chakra that bound his body to Shikamaru's. The lanky boy was stronger than he looked, and the shadow bind gave him a strength multiplier that enabled him to control the much stronger blond.

Chouji walked over and casually tapped Naruto on the shoulder, a 'kill' signifying their win, and Shikamaru dropped the technique, his shoulders slumping as he rubbed his neck. Naruto had figured out that he could give the shadow user a massive headache by forcing him to strain the lesser used muscles of his neck to keep Naruto under control.

One of Naruto's earlier clever, if failed, ideas was to transform his body into a more flexible form, with a neck that could twist almost all the way around, and force him to drop the shadow jutsu or break his own neck. Shikamaru had been strong enough to stop it, since the strength multiplier only went one direction, but he'd made the mistake of complaining about the resulting headache, and now Naruto did it every time out of pure frustration.

With the bout over and the jutsu dispelled, Naruto flopped bonelessly into the dirt and breathed heavily.

"You alright?" Chouji asked.

"Tired," Naruto admitted. He looked up at the boy and made puppy dog eyes. "Chouji? Carry me?"

Chouji looked like he'd bitten into something sour. "I'm not going to carry you, Naruto."

"Aww, please?" he pleaded.

Chouji shook his head at the antics.

"Pwweeaasse?" Naruto drawled. "I'll turn into a girl and make you. You know I can. I have tits."

Chouji sighed, reached down and grabbed Naruto by the ankle, then effortlessly hauled him up and slung the blond across his back so Naruto's leg was hooked over Chouji's shoulder and he hung upside down, his head at about Chouji's knee level.

"Whoa… hey!" Naruto protested at first, but then relaxed and let his arms go limp and drag on the ground. "On second thought, this ain't so bad. Thanks, Chouji!"

He was less enthusiastic about it when Chouji started walking, because his head bumped the back of the leg on every second step, but he didn't complain.

They quickly caught up with Asuma, who'd been watching, and Sasuke and Ino, and headed back to Shikamaru's home. They had been doing most of their training on Nara land for security reasons. Shikamaru's clan didn't mind as long as they didn't use destructive jutsu. Something about 'Ninja are shadows, and shadows leave no traces,' or at least that was the gist of it. The actual comment was probably more profound, but Shikamaru had been the one to relay it and he kept leaving out words 'to save time and effort'.

Hinata was waiting for them with pitchers of water and a small pile of scrolls. Her contribution to the training effort was a small selection of jutsu for Ino to pick through, and a much larger selection of jutsu for her team to learn, since she had dueled their team the day before. She had spent an average of once every four days with her shin'engan active, browsing the Konoha jutsu library, which was technically restricted to chunin and above.

But since she was doing it from two kilometers away, they were pretty sure they could get away with it. Asuma thought it was hilarious, and threatened to turn them in. That had been a matter of some concern until they realized he was joking and he just wanted Hinata to retrieve his paperwork from administration while she browsed for jutsu, so he didn't have to go get it himself. As a result, they learned a lot about jounin weekly paperwork, which was the whole point. An incredibly boring point, but a point nonetheless.

Naruto was dumped unceremoniously into a pile in the yard, and Chouji raided the Nara kitchen for snacks, while the others found seats here and there.

There had been some behind the scenes resistance to Naruto being invited into the Nara home, but it had been resolved with various promises and oaths. Since he was helping Shikamaru train, and Asuma took responsibility, it worked out with minimal fuss.

After a glass of water to cut the dust, Ino glanced over at Naruto, who hadn't moved from his ungainly heap on the Nara lawn, even when Sasuke had helpfully brought him a glass of ice water and poured it on him. Hinata sat seiza style near him.

"So, Naruto, what evil plot have you been working on lately? You haven't been doing much, and it's got us all kinda nervous."

"So blunt," Hinata murmured, though it was hard to tell whether she approved or disapproved.

"Too… tired… to… be… evil…" Naruto mumbled.

"Yeah, right," Ino scoffed.

"Actually, that's pretty much been the case," Naruto added in a normal tone of voice. "We've been having special duty late at night, and if Hinata and Sasuke catch a break now and then for being only human, I got no such luck."

"Oh," Ino replied. "How much sleep have you been getting?"

Naruto snorted. "Sleep? Isn't that what regular people get instead of ancient demonic chakra?"

"I take it your special abilities aren't enough?" Shikamaru asked.

Naruto had explained away his gifts as, alternatively, god given powers, a deal with a devil, a bloodlimit, forbidden experimentation, winning a dice game with the lord of thunder, and being the illegitimate rapebaby of the demon dragon king. When they were bored, they'd ask him about the source of his powers again just to hear a new explanation. The only running theme was that he usually made himself out to be the bad guy in the deal, since the only reliable laugh he'd actually get was from Sasuke and Hinata when he went into elaborate detail about ancient blood rituals, which was an in joke between them.

"Unlimited chakra doesn't mean I don't get tired," Naruto grumbled, and then he really did yawn. "Unfortunately, getting tired doesn't mean I always get to sleep."

Everyone nodded sagely at that, and Shikamaru grumbled. Shikamaru preferred to sleep around sixteen hours a day, waking up only so he could work a few naps in edgewise.

"Well, since you're already tired, who's up for meditation exercises for the next two hours?" Asuma asked cheerfully.

There was a chorus of theatrical groans. Ino dutifully informed their sensei that he was a slave driver, and Naruto made an strained koan pun about how Asuma was more evil than Kakashi, whose solution to tired students was to make them exercise the tiredness out.

Still, complaining about it didn't change the fact that he was in charge and they had to do what he said.

Something like a minute later, Ino was in the lotus position on the porch, filing her short fingernails back into some semblance of order, Shikamaru was stretched out along the peak of the roof, staring at the clouds, Chouji sat quietly nearby, Hinata dangled her feet off the edge of the roof and sipped at a fruit juice box, Sasuke and Asuma played shogi, and Naruto still hadn't moved from his position in the yard, though his breathing had settled into the steady, deep rhythm of sleep.

Asuma ran a tight ship.

When he'd first explained the meditation exercises, Team Lie had been skeptical. Kakashi had once talked to them about mediation as a part of ninja training, for a while, concluding his discourse by dismissing it as a navel gazing waste of time.

Asuma had not been surprised, or offended.

"Oh he did, did he?" he replied with a smile. "And I'm sure he's made a habit of always bringing up things he _doesn't_ want you to learn more about?"

So naturally, the first time Asuma sat them all down for a meditation exercise, Team Lie approached it with the same sort of lethal, focused intent they would use on a mission to sneak into a samurai guard post and kill everyone inside. Legs crossed just so, careful memorization of their sensei's instructions, a lot of rigorous thought about what those instructions meant, several hours spent focused on becoming one with the infinite and achieving inner peace. After the meditation, they discussed their experiences with each other, and also with Asuma, seeking improvement.

The second time was much the same.

But the third time, Asuma's actual students, who had already been through the routine but went back to the beginners lessons out of deference to the newcomers, were clearly starting to fade. Ino kept combing her fingers through her hair. Shikamaru fell asleep several times. And Chouji could occasionally be heard chewing, though he never moved.

Hinata actually figured out his technique. He had some sort of seal tattooed on the inside of his cheek, and was able to apply a companion seal to the bag of chips, or whatever, and literally summon the contents directly into his mouth. Naruto's mind practically exploded with the possible uses of such a technique, but Chouji proved unwilling to share, as it was an old family jutsu.

But, meditation wise, it was clear that Asuma's actual students, who had been at it longer, took their sensei's instructions with an extremely casual grain of salt. At first, they theorized it was because the advanced lessons were much different, and that Team Ten no longer gained any sort of benefit from the exercises. This later proved to be peripherally related to the actual answer in such a way that only a Zen koan could adequately express it.

Ino teased them with the answer for a little bit. As the last on her team to figure it out, she was the most eager to hold it over the heads of the neophytes. Not wanting to owe her any more favors, they resisted for nearly a week.

As an at first unrelated issue, Asuma continued to pay for lunch for everyone, which Team Lie had a hard time adjusting to. One time was kind of funny as a way of messing with them, the second time was completely unexpected, the third time was back to messing with them, and after that things just got weird. They even ate sushi one day, which had to have set Asuma back several hundred ryo, especially with the way Chouji ate.

Then, one day, it hit Naruto as he was fighting with a particularly long strand of udon. He stood up, broken noodle hanging from his lips, chopsticks in hand, and pointed an accusing finger at Asuma.

"You!" he gasped around half a mouthful of udon. "You're being nice!"

Asuma kind of rolled his eyes and chuckled. "It's about time you figured it out." And bought him a soda in reward.

This confused the hell out of Team Lie.

"It's… so obvious… and yet it explains nothing!" Naruto complained to his team later.

Meditation ended up proving similar, though they had yet to realize it. At first it was something they didn't understand, but wanted to master. Then it got more and more frustrating as Team 10 grew more and more lax in their meditations, but Asuma would come down hard on Kakashi's students if they slacked off like that.

Finally, after quite a bit of frustration on their part, Asuma sat them down and explained some of the methodology. He started with a fairly lengthy poem story about a monk, a leaky boat, and civil engineering, moved on to a few koan, a couple of haiku, and gradually he got more personal about his own experiences with meditation. The gist of it was, ordinarily, students needed years of meditation and frustration to fully achieve the kind of enlightenment that made it all worthwhile, but in his words, Kakashi might be a master of meditation, but he was a shitty teacher for it, and Asuma wouldn't have them forever, so they needed to kind of rush it a bit.

Meditation was a tool, just like kunai and wire. But meditation was a tool you used before and after the battle. It didn't matter how you used it, and everyone did it differently, but the point was to organize and maintain your mind and soul. Meditation was not time to goof off, but goofing off could be meditation. And while being point blank told what to do was going to delay their progress towards true enlightenment by decades, at least they'd skip most of the really frustrating parts and go right to gaining some actual benefit from it now.

"You see, kids," Asuma explained, having finally abandoned the abstract concepts as he neared a conclusion, "most people are somewhere in the middle, so they need to be taught both to meditate, and to ninja. Sometimes you get people like Chouji, who are naturally close to Zen, and have to work more at battle. And then there's you three. Knock it the fuck off, okay?"

This, naturally, startled them badly, and served as yet another warm, amusing memory for Asuma.

It wasn't easy, but since masked ANBU kept waking them up at odd hours of the night and making them henge into samurai and militia of various countries, and especially making Naruto create whole armies out of clones and then train in close order drill and various marching techniques ranging from 'by the book the commander is watching' to 'they don't pay me enough for this shit' to 'ohgodohgodohgodrunrunrunshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit', Team Lie stayed tired enough that a chance to relax and compose themselves was actually pretty effective as a teaching aid.

It had been a short three weeks, and if neither orders nor the most determined of intentions were capable of deterring them from occasionally dipping into the Kyubi's chakra, they hadn't murdered anyone, either.

Gai actually made Asuma a little commendation out of three beer bottle caps, a bit of wire, and a couple of the little striker thingies from empty cigarette lighters while they were at a bar one night. Of course, Gai was massively inebriated, but drunk or not, Asuma felt honored.

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Naruto hadn't quite figured out meditation, and if Asuma was telling the truth, just knowing more about the process would set him back considerably, but, at the same time, he couldn't deny that there was a certain… something, to, every now and then, stopping and just being.

Ino found peace in comfortable little personal hygiene routines. Brushing her long blonde hair, filing her finger and toe nails, checking out her face in a compact mirror. Shikamaru liked the clouds and quiet. Chouji liked harmony and food.

Sasuke, oddly, found a kind of relaxation in staring at inanimate objects. His sharingan was permanently active, short of Hinata closing off the tenketsu to them, and Sasuke didn't like that. So whenever he looked at anything, his bloodlimit was constantly predicting the next movements. Even trees swaying in the breeze or clouds twisting in the sky would trigger his predictive abilities. But, when he stared at truly immobile things, he felt a kind of mental pressure relax for the first time since the incident with the shoggoth.

It was funny, really. Naruto would have sworn he'd end up a porn addict like Kakashi, since boobs on paper shouldn't trigger the sharingan, but Sasuke _was_ more complex than a moniker of 'breast man' would indicate. He actually ended up rather liking board games like go and shogi, since the predictive elements required by the game had nothing to do with the almost overstressed parts of his brain that were tied into his sharingan. He was pretty good, too, on par with Asuma. Shikamaru invariably kicked his ass, and Naruto could beat him if he brute force out thought him with a kage bunshin army, but no one else could beat him on any sort of regular basis.

Naruto actually proved to have little talent for the pure movement patterns of board control that Go required, and he wasn't much better at shogi. Kage bunshin allowed him to keep a lot more moves in mind at once, which gave him a decent shot at beating Asuma and Sasuke, but despite his best efforts, Shikamaru still beat him eventually. Their games were pretty intense. Without his clones, though, he was too flighty, too inclined to try risky gambits that would leave his position decimated when they failed. His sense of invulnerability, which served him well on the battlefield, left him in a bad way when it came to games where the playing field was even.

He won precisely one game with Shikamaru, and it was the most hollow victory he'd ever had. Since pure strategy had turned out to be a bit of a weak point for him, he'd decided to add a new element to the game. A lot of careful study of Shikamaru had given him all sorts of easy handles on the lanky boy, most of them boiling down to the fact that Shikamaru would give up in a heartbeat if the going got troublesome.

But just as Naruto was starting to lay the groundwork for a plan that, in theory, would have left Shikamaru exposed to some amount of motherly henpecking that he would almost certainly turn to Naruto for an easy solution to, leaving him indebted and vulnerable, Shikamaru simply gave up on their very next game, 'because Naruto had changed the rules to a game he would have won anyway'.

As frustrating as being ninjablocked was, Naruto had a grudging respect for Shikamaru's plan to render himself almost completely immune to manipulation. Naruto would admit that a lot his little jokes and schemes were as much about the fun of it as they were the result, and Shikamaru simply made himself no fun to mess with.

"There's a certain conviction to his inaction," Naruto later admitted to Sasuke. "It's intriguing. I guess the smartest man around would know the most logical thing to do in any situation, but I would have expected ambition or something, you know, rule over the sheep. Instead, all he wants is a quiet life with the fewest troubles?"

"Does make you wonder what he knows that we don't," Sasuke agreed.

Since games were more an exercise in frustration than any sort of relaxation, Naruto's method of meditation was usually to sit and review his memories. Sometimes he watched the clouds like Shikamaru, sometimes he ate a bag of chips like Chouji, sometimes he'd turn into Naruko and fuss with his appearance like Ino. Whatever he did, he usually fell asleep during the process, and wouldn't wake up until someone prodded him. Upon waking he'd be quiet and thoughtful, more like he was back during his academy days, rather than loud and thoughtful the way he'd been lately.

Everyone had their own theory as to why, though most approved of the change. It hadn't yet occurred to Naruto that, maybe, having a couple of hundred, or more, versions of himself constantly dumping fresh memories and thoughts into his head every day just to comfort his paranoia and satisfy whatever new idea he wanted to explore was not good for his mental well being, his gifts aside. He did notice his sense of time returning to normal. It had gotten all out of whack after they'd woken up in the hospital up to when they'd finally joined Asuma's team and started meditating. Though it had only been about a week, it'd felt like a year, easily. He mistakenly attributed it to the Kyubi's chakra, completely overlooking the fact that he'd made more clones during that week than anyone else, ever.

Meditation helped, though, it was easy to see. His thoughts came clearer, if not faster, and he was a great deal less impulsive. Asuma had some extended metaphor about burning a candle on both ends, which concluded with him setting off a completely unexpected explosive tag nearby, which nearly gave them all a heart attack. Most of Asuma's metaphors involved fire, legacy of his time spent at a temple actually devoted to it. He was almost as bad as Gai, though he didn't pose and he was more likely to actually set something ablaze, which was at least entertaining.

Hinata didn't talk about what went through her mind during meditation.

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After lunch, they'd usually end up doing a mission. Asuma said this was because a team like theirs was rarely called in for anything but last minute rush jobs, and it was around noon when whatever missions that had to be done that day had generally filtered in and were being doled out.

This was in stark contrast to Kakashi, who liked to have his team up early in the morning so they could get the pick of the missions for that day…

Except they'd end up waiting three hours for him anyway, so maybe it wasn't all that different.

Today's mission was buy last minute groceries for some sort of personal family event for one of the other clans.

It wasn't very ninja. However, it actually made complete sense to make a newbie genin team do it, because poisoning people at family gatherings was a time honored tradition of shinobi culture, since between it being an official mission and the presence of a jounin commander, the food was generally secure.

Chouji, naturally, displayed a truly astounding breadth of culinary knowledge which surprised absolutely no one.

Team Lie never complained, but even Ino sensed a kind of wistful melancholy about them. It was an absolute waste of their talents and everyone knew it.

After that, it's back to training.

Team 10.

For the chunin exam.

Which Team Seven would not be allowed to participate in.

"Hah!" Ino crowed when she heard. "No promotion for you!"

They each beat the hell out of her the next time they 'sparred', but it was worth it. So totally worth it, because she could tell she actually hit a weak point akin to verbally kicking Team Seven in the nuts.

At the time of the original announcement, though, Naruto protested quite vocally.

"Why won't we be allowed to sign up for the chunin exam?" Naruto demanded. "And your team will? We could murder them and you know it!"

"That's the point," Asuma replied, sounding amused.

Naruto looked affronted. "What do you mean that's the point?"

"I think what Naruto means is that of course we wouldn't attack your team, it'd make much more sense to ally with them behind the scenes so everyone benefits," Hinata explained quietly.

"Well, officially, you're not supposed to do that, but that's not the point," Asuma explained. "The chunin exams aren't just about promoting genin, they're also a way for villages to show off the skill of their shinobi. The idea is to put on a good show for the visiting dignitaries with big flashy battles and wild displays of jutsu and acrobatics. Stirring turnarounds and cold, ruthless beatings for people to get worked up about." He paused.

All of them, including his team, was staring at him, hanging on every word.

"NOT to go out and murder everyone else in the exams."

Team Lie looked disappointed.

"Huh. Well that does kinda take the fun out of it," Naruto complained.

"Yes, sometimes you're pitted against other teams in the exam, and sometimes participants die, but unless one village is making some sort of rather pointed threat to another village, you're not supposed to deliberately kill them. And yes, what I'm saying is none of us think that you," he indicated Team Seven, "have the necessary restraint, so you're not going to be allowed in." He chuckled. "I mean, really, of course they're not going to let you three take the chunin exam. You're nowhere near ready to be jounin yet."

Naruto held up a finger and started to angrily protest that they had great skills, then his brain caught up to their sensei's words and he closed his mouth, puzzled and thoughtful.

Ino looked smug, Chouji looked worried, and Shikamaru looked resigned.

Asuma smiled and patted Naruto on the head.

"Cheer up. There actually is the possibility that one of the next exams will be held in Stone or Rain or something, and Konoha will want some technical genins who can go in and kill a bunch of the participants and generally make them look bad. So train hard and prove your reliability, and maybe they'll pick you three as the ones to do it."

Incentive. That was how to motivate Kakashi's students.

"Are we even sure we're ready to be chunin yet?" Shikamaru asked. "I'm not sure I'm that ambitious. It sounds very troublesome to me."

Asuma blinked, as if astonished.

"I thought you were the one who told me you wanted to be a chunin?" Asuma replied, lying through his teeth.

Shikamaru seemed taken aback.

"Oh hell no. Why would I say a fool thing like that?"

"Because chunin get a lot fewer shit jobs?"

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's get to training!" Shikamaru replied with the closest thing to actual enthusiasm Asuma had ever heard out of him.

Incentive. It was also the way to motivate his own students.

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Training was sort of free form. Asuma didn't like to burden his students with a lot of instruction. In this respect, he simply piled more evidence on the side of the scale that said he was, in fact, exactly like Kakashi, but repackaged. Out of all the jounin sensei they'd seen so far, only Gai had given any indication that he actively taught techniques, but they hadn't exactly been there long enough to get a good look at his teaching style.

Mostly, it was up to Ino to set their training schedule, since she was the most highly motivated on their team. With the addition of Naruto, their somewhat competing ideas on how to best train sparked some rather lengthy, heated arguments. Ino favored precise kata practice, which was one of the few areas where Asuma could be reliably counted on to offer advice and new moves, strength and speed training against obstacle courses and training posts, and fairly structured spars against Asuma or the other members of her team.

Naruto, eventually, managed to convince her that, since they had so many extra people now, they should skip large blocks of kata and running, and move right on to the beating the hell out of each other.

Team versus Team invariably left Team Seven the victors. Ino was too casual with her own safety in a fight, since, as she said, she'd probably be using someone else's body. To reflect that, Shikamaru or Chouji would guard a straw dummy to reflect her body, which made for some fairly hilarious moments when Sasuke and Naruto kept setting it on fire. Since combat was so obviously weighted against Team Ten, they'd agreed to work more on their combat capture techniques, pitting them against a single member of Team Seven on a rotating basis.

With no jutsu forbidden, they lost just about as often. All three of Kakashi's students knew kage bunshin, Sasuke was a terror who could flow through even the best traps, Hinata couldn't be surprised and would cautiously pick them off one by one, and Naruto simply mobbed them with more clones than they could deal with.

Limiting the jutsu to only what normal genin or chunin would have finally brought victory within reach of Team 10. It wasn't that Team Seven was really so much more skilled than Team Ten, although they clearly were in some areas, it was that the members of Team Seven had combat advantages so ridiculously useful as to put their weaknesses out of reach of a non combat team like Asuma's students.

Every now and then, just to keep them from getting too cocky, and also to better reflect the most likely combat scenario they would actually see, Asuma would join them and it would be four on three. And, just for fun, he would also occasionally take Team Seven on by himself. In both cases, Team Seven invariably lost. Asuma was really only slightly faster than the ridiculously overdeveloped Lee, but he was also very well rounded with no easy weaknesses to exploit. He was too fast for Sasuke, had too much range for Hinata, and would tear through massive numbers of Naruto's clones until he found the ones that didn't die with a light hit. Either Naruto himself, or sometimes Sasuke and Hinata, each under a henge, would quickly be knocked out and unable to make more clones. Wary of the sharingan, he also never used anything but sealless jutsu and complicated paper tags with various nonlethal effects. They had enough jutsu without stealing his.

And they had ninjutsu. Sasuke had learned nearly a dozen of them, stolen from locked up scrolls by Hinata, and both Naruto and Hinata had added three more to their arsenal as Sasuke held up his end of the deal by teaching them various jutsu he had figured out first. Without Hinata's eyes, he wouldn't get access to the scrolls, and without Naruto's chakra, they'd never be able to use them frequently in combat. Sasuke was simply the best at figuring out how to actually use a technique, even though his sharingan didn't allow him to simply copy the movements from the scroll copies Hinata made. After Sasuke learned what he needed, they'd burn the copy, and Sasuke became their library of stolen techniques. Naruto learned jutsu faster than Hinata, despite her advantages with chakra manipulation, but he was still experimenting with the almost infinitely adaptable kage bunshin.

However, Asuma quickly taught them the difference between knowing a technique and actually incorporating it into a fighting style. Knowing when to use a technique was as important as how. Short of pulling out the Kyubi, they had no real way of defeating him in combat, which was sort of frustrating but also expected. He was, after all, a jounin.

They still had to put up with the running though, as Ino insisted.

"Look, Naruto," she said with strained patience. "I realize that you're all some sort of big bad combat team, but we're not. We never will be. Our plan B isn't to kill everything in sight. When the going gets tough, the smart run like hell."

"Actually, kill everything in sight is our plan A," Sasuke added helpfully.

"I think you've used that joke before," Hinata said thoughtfully.

Sasuke shrugged. "So? They haven't heard it."

So, to best use their respective skills, Team Ten would run, and Team Seven would chase. In a complete reversal of the usual outcome of team versus team fights, Ino always died last, usually pretty close to 'base', Chouji always died first, and Shikamaru was the one in the middle desperately trying to capture all of Team Seven with his shadow bind.

"You really need a better plan than sacrifice yourselves one by one to stop the enemy," Naruto complained one day. "What the hell is wrong with you? Do you WANT to die as part of some noble sacrifice?"

"I would gladly die if that's what it took to save my friends," Chouji replied seriously. "If we could, we'd fight, but we already know we can't beat you in combat. This is training for a worst case scenario."

"Worst case scenario, you die, your team dies, period, nothing you can do about it," Naruto countered, waving his hand dismissively. "It's pointless to train for that. What you should be training for is a situation where there's actually a possibility of winning, and come up with some sort of wild plan to save your entire team." He turned to Shikamaru. "YOU!"

Shikamaru didn't flinch. "Yeah."

"You've been falling down on the job!" Naruto accused.

"I'm working on it," Shikamaru acknowledged without being defensive.

"More than just working on it, you're as bad as Chouji!" Naruto cried. "For someone who bitches constantly and is usually smart enough to see through bullshit like heroic last stands, you've got a martyr complex so wide you can't see any other solution! What the hell are you thinking, sending Ino on ahead and trying to catch us in a shadow bind? You can't kill us yourself like that, only delay us. You should have kept Ino around to kill anyone in your shadow bind, or maybe take out the person you miss."

Ino spoke up for the first time since her half-frustrated half-amused complaints about being swiftly, almost effortlessly, overwhelmed by the three members of Team Seven, much as her teammates had. She'd been within a few hundred meters of winning the game. She looked thoughtful.

"You know, that actually makes a lot of sense. I thought I probably should have stayed, but you're usually right, and even when you're wrong you have better plans than I do. Why did you send me on ahead and sacrifice yourself?"

Her expression was open and curious, her perfectly shaped eyebrows arched in puzzlement over blue eyes. Shikamaru did flinch.

"Oh. Oh. Ohhhh," Naruto said, glancing from Ino's pretty blonde self back to Shikamaru, finally getting it and sounding almost like he was in pain.

Sasuke snorted disgust. Hinata took two steps closer to Shikamaru.

"There is a time and a place for gallantry," Hinata said seriously, staring at him with her, white today, eyes. "The battlefield is not it. On behalf of Ino and kunoichi everywhere-"

Shikamaru lay flat on his back, staring at the clouds, with Chouji standing over him, looking concerned. He looked kind of different today. Shikamaru squinted at him, puzzled, then realized the problem when only one eye responded. His left eye was rapidly swelling shut, and his depth perception was gone.

"Xyzzblrerm tllwi?" Chouji asked.

"…?" Shikamaru replied. He had a bad case of jangly ganglia from Hinata's right hook.

"I said, are you okay?" Chouji repeated, enunciating clearly.

Shikamaru shrugged slightly, otherwise not moving. Moving seemed very troublesome right now.

"Why did you hit him?!" Ino demanded, not quite daring to reach out and choke-shake Hinata for the offense of sucker punching her teammate.

"Ask him," Hinata replied coolly. "He knows what he did. I suggest you hit his other eye." She paused. "Or his balls." She turned away.

Ino turned to Naruto and Sasuke, looking frizzled.

Sasuke shrugged. It was a woman thing, not his problem. Naruto glanced at Hinata and shook his head.

"I think she wants you to get it from Shikamaru himself, that way you'll get righteously indignant and beat him up again. Hinata was really offended on your behalf. Usually she lets one of us do the sucker punch." He seemed genuinely shocked.

Ino turned back to look at Shikamaru, who was sprawled on the ground in exactly the same position as when Hinata had decked him, decided she couldn't wait that long, and turned a mute appeal, complete with puppy dog eyes, on Asuma.

Asuma paused in the rolling of his cigarette, something even Shikamaru's well deserved punch in the eye hadn't caused, and considered the question. On one hand, it'd be more appropriate from Shikamaru, on the other, the poor boy had probably suffered enough. He nodded slightly, and Ino bounded over, her ponytail bouncing like a blonde flag in the breeze of her passage.

Ino didn't bother repeating her question. She didn't need to.

Asuma took his time, rolling his smoke, licking the paper, savoring the slightly sweet flavor of the little bits of tobacco that stuck to his tongue, and finally, cupping his hand around the end of the cigarette and lighting it in some mysterious way even Ino, standing three feet from him, couldn't figure out.

Finally, he spoke.

"Ino…" he said quietly, exhaling a cloud of fragrant smoke. In the village, which was mostly the only place he allowed himself to smoke, he usually used a wind technique to control the smell, but when he relaxed he didn't bother, and Ino had been with him long enough to also associate the smell of good tobacco with calming thoughts. "Do you remember the Talk?"

"Is this about how Shikamaru keeps sneaking peeks up my skirt?" Ino asked, genuinely confused.

Asuma couldn't help himself and laughed. "No, no, Ino-chan, it's not about that." He chuckled for a moment, then gradually got more serious. "No, I mean the talk we had about what sometimes happens to kunoichi who get captured."

"Oh, that," Ino replied, blinking. "Well, yeah, that might happen, but why would Shikamaru-" Her head whipped around.

There was an empty patch of ground where Shikamaru had been laying, the grass stems still slowly straightening back up into the air.

Ino seemed to inflate like an angry hen, then just as abruptly deflated. "Shika, you idiot," she said in a mixture of frustration and growing fondness. She turned back to Asuma.

He simply smiled, proud of all of her, and the boys as well.

Making a mou, she turned and yelled at Hinata. "Hinata! Where did he go?"

Hinata shrugged.

"You owe me favors! Now where did he go?!"

Hinata paused, worked her fingers along the tenketsu around her eyes, and concentrated for a bit with her byakugan.

"North by northeast, heading past his house, wrong route to go to Chouji's…" She paused. "Hahah, he's really running. Looks like he's heading towards the Academy."

"Ah, I know where he's going. He thinks I don't, but I do." She took off at a sprint.

Naruto watched her go, then turned to Hinata with a grin. "Niiice," he said. "That's one favor down."

About thirty seconds later, Ino ran back into the clearing.

"And don't think that cancels one of the three favors!" she called. "You owed me another one for Shikamaru! Only _I_ get to beat him up when he's being a dick!" She turned and ran off again.

Team Lie watched her go with mixed expressions.

Naruto shrugged. "You know, I'm man enough to admit when I'm wrong. Statistically speaking, not _everyone_ else in the entire world can be a useless bunch of untrustworthy idiots. We were bound to run into someone we liked eventually."

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"You may be a great tactician, but you're soooo predictable," Ino commented cheerfully as Shikamaru carefully crawled over the edge of the roof so that his profile wouldn't stand out from a distance. She was sitting on a bench in one of the public rooftop observatories of one of the rather generic administration buildings. Large parts of the roof were covered by awnings, but some parts were open to the sky, and it was usually cool up there. Most of the time it had people here and there on breaks, but it was nearly deserted at the moment, with only a few people smoking here and there.

Shikamaru sighed and stood up into a kind of resigned slouch. "So troublesome… Well, get it over with." His right eye was swollen shut, and was fresh enough it was still kind of red, though it was quickly darkening.

Ino smiled back, an unholy glint in her eye.

"Oh no. You're not getting off that easily. First, we're gonna talk about it," she replied brightly. "Sit down," she ordered, patting the bench beside her.

Shikamaru whimpered, but did as he was bade.

"You thought you were being all clever, heading for the Academy. You knew that I knew you liked that little clearing in the trees out that direction, but you thought that I didn't know that you knew I knew. And you knew I'd get Hinata to follow you for a bit before I chased you down, so you thought you could fool me while you doubled back. I know you." She smiled, showing a lot of pearly white teeth, like a dog might before it lunges for your throat.

It took Shikamaru a moment to parse that. He already had a headache, and she hadn't even started screaming yet.

"And sending me on ahead? Really? Did you not think someone would call you on it?"

He shrugged. "When I sent you on ahead, I wasn't thinking of it that way. I just thought that if at least one of us made it safely, we won. Like if we had important information to deliver or something."

"But you realized why you picked me for it later," Ino noted.

He shrugged but didn't deny it.

"And you didn't come up with a plausible reason for it?" she asked incredulously. "I'm pretty gullible when it comes to your explanations, I'd have believed almost anything."

"I'm having an off day," he mumbled.

Ino patted him on the head. "It's okay, Shika-kun."

It was a measure of how resigned he was to her anger that he didn't even flinch when she raised her hand.

"Listen. It's sweet and all. But you've got to think about it from my side. Do you really think I'd count it as a win if I made it home safely but I left both of my boys dead on the battlefield?"

"No one wins all the time," he replied. "If I'm gonna lose, I'm gonna lose like a man. And a man has responsibilities." _Such as the responsibility to make damned sure he doesn't let his female friend and teammate get horribly raped and tortured, or killed, by enemies_, he didn't say. In his mind, that was not a point of compromise. All this was just the rather troublesome price he had to pay for being incautious about showing his beliefs.

"A woman has responsibilities, too, and one of those is to not leave her teammates dead or in enemy hands either. I know you. You'd have used kage mane no jutsu to hold them all in place until you'd exhausted all your chakra and they were able to break it. How hard do you think it would have been for them to capture you like that?" Her blue eyes bored into the side of his head, since he wouldn't meet her eyes.

"We all have suicide pills," he said with a shrug.

There were several long minutes of silence where he stared at the low wall and railing that surrounded the edge of the building. There were potted plants here and there, mostly flowers. Idly, he compared them to the ones he'd seen in the Yamanaka shop and decided they looked a bit sickly. Finally, the silence grew to weigh on him, and he glanced at Ino.

Silent tears slid in a steady stream down her cheeks.

It hit him with the force of a Chouji knuckle to the solar plexus. For a moment, he couldn't breathe.

_Aww, poor Shika_, Ino thought fondly. She'd appreciated the extra time he'd spent avoiding her gaze, since life had been pretty nice in recent memory and it'd taken her a minute to remember how to cry on cue, a skill she'd learned to devastating effect when she was two. Just to really twist it like a kunai in the guts, she sniffed twice.

Shikamaru groaned and doubled over, in actual physical pain.

Since he was basically waving a white flag and presenting her with the back of his neck, she finally took pity on him and stopped crying.

"Shikamaru-kun, you're the most selfish, laziest, most arrogant person I know," Ino began. "You think you know better than everyone else, you think women are weak and need protecting, and you're just so incredibly frustrating it's a wonder I haven't strangled you to death. You're so fixated on this concept of what a man is like that you're basically determined to be a boy for as long as possible. Do you have any idea why I put up with you?"

Shikamaru mumbled and allowed that he did not.

"Because when things really matter, and you're really forced into it, you pull off some really manly stuff, Shika," she said frankly. "I trust you. I believe in you. But you're also lazy, and you need someone to look out for you, and you really need someone to motivate you. So when you sent me on ahead, you lost your reason to fight as hard as you could and you gave up. But if I had stayed there… I bet you would have pulled some genius move out of nowhere and outsmarted Team Seven so bad that we'd…" She paused. "Well, they'd have felt pretty silly. But you can't do it without me."

He was silent for several moments, digesting her words. Finally, he looked up.

"And what if I couldn't? No one wins all the time," he said, echoing his earlier words.

"Then we, and I mean you, me, and Chouji, eat a heroic ANBU peanut and take as many of them with us as we can," Ino replied plainly.

"And what if that doesn't work? If they're too fast, we're caught unawares, they have an antidote, what then?" Shikamaru asked. "To every move there is a counter."

"Well, then we'll probably be killed anyway," Ino replied. "Or, if we're really unlucky, we'll be captured, and if it's Cloud or Mist or someone, I'll most likely be raped, because really, who could resist this?" she asked rhetorically, running her hand along her shapely thigh, "and tortured for what information I have. Shikamaru, I'm a kunoichi. We all know what could happen. We don't let it stop us, because if we did, they'd have won without ever touching us. I will not let kind of enemy that rapes defenseless women have any control over what I do and do not do, and really, if I let just the threat, or even the actual event, stop me from being a shinobi, isn't that exactly what would be happening?"

Shikamaru didn't say anything, but it was clear from the expression on his face that he thought her answer was fundamentally flawed.

Ino sighed. "Look, Shikamaru, it'll probably happen eventually, anyway. Something like eighty percent of kunoichi who make it to the age of thirty have been raped or had to have sex with someone they'd rather not have, either for a mission or whatever. Even civilian women have to put up with it. Most of us survive. It's just another thing we have to put up with out of men. But for every asshole that hurts a woman, there's some amazingly gallant man out there like you, Shika." She patted him on the shoulder, then left her hand there and rubbed encouragingly. "It's sweet that you care."

"It's not right," Shikamaru grumbled.

"So do your best to make it right," Ino encouraged. Then her smile turned naughty. "You act like I'm the only one on our team likely to get raped. It happens to men, too, so don't think you're gonna get off with just some torture."

Shikamaru looked like he'd bitten into an especially sour lemon which also happened to be full of pepper juice.

"Whaaat?" she drawled. "You've got a cute butt. Not as cute as mine, but you know, unwanted attention is the price you pay for looking good."

He grunted and turned away, but she could tell he was startled into barely suppressed laughter.

"So no sending me on ahead for my own good, okay?" She gave him a light punch. "We stand together and we fall together. That's Team Ten."

"…fine."

"No, no, no," Ino argued. "That's not gonna work. I want a promise."

He rolled his eyes. "I promise."

"Promise like you mean it. I want a _manly_ promise." She couldn't help it and let a giggle slip out.

He sat there for a moment, considering just how to do it, then abruptly stood up, drew himself up to his full height, his skinny chest swelling, then bowed deeply to her. "I, Shikamaru, do make this solemn promise on my manhood, that I will never send you, Ino, on ahead for your own good unless circumstances and logic dictate that it is the best thing to do for the team, the mission, Konoha and or the world itself, on penalty of being called a wuss, a liar, a momma's boy, or otherwise less than the epitome of manliness itself."

Ino giggled, delighted, and had to press a hand over her mouth and dab at unshed tears before she made such a commotion that she drew the attention of everyone around. Finally, her mirth subsided and she was able to speak again. She rose to her feet and faced him.

"You're a terrible liar," she told him sweetly.

Shikamaru deflated like a pricked balloon.

"Anyway, now that our talk is over, I still owe you for what you did earlier."

He groaned.

"Oh, close your eyes and take it like a man," she grumped.

Resigned, he did so.

"You took that hit for me," she said gently, and kissed him.

He was embarrassed to admit he was utterly surprised, but then again, Ino has always been one thing he's never been able to predict.

Then she picked him up and threw him bodily off the roof, and he realized that he never would.

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After the days spent with Asuma and Team Ten, there were the nights, 'special duty' with ANBU.

Those, by and large, sucked.

The first thing they did was teach Team Seven the number and intricacies of militia and samurai appearance from Konoha and the surrounding countries. Details were always the hardest to get right in any henge, but transformation was also one of Naruto's strong points, which had been shared with Hinata and Sasuke through the blood pact.

Then they had to incorporate that into learning how to act like a militia or samurai army. Naruto provided the extra manpower with dozens to hundreds of clones.

So far, so good. The lessons were given by various masked ANBU, either singly or in pairs, and while they weren't exactly good conversationalists, the new skills were interesting. Once they could march and drill and camp like a three man army, a coughing man with a sword and a purple haired ANBU woman handed out worn, but good quality, katana and proceeded to teach them the absolute basics of samurai swordsmanship. There were also lessons with the yari and the naginata, as well as the daikyu longbow. Sasuke, naturally, picked up on everything the first time it was demonstrated, because he was a 'fucking Uchiha' in Naruto's slightly irritated yet still impressed words, then helped Naruto and Hinata.

Naruto was, naturally, quite intrigued with the possibilities of being an army, and besides their use in field combat, he could easily see how the daikyu would make him virtually unstoppable. The kage bunshin, when performed properly, would also replicate whatever tools and equipment the user carried. Chakra based items like explosive tags were only superficially represented, but senbon and shuriken and other thrown weapons worked fine. That also worked with bows and arrows, so once Naruto had a quiver and a bow, the expenditure of approximately the same amount of chakra as the entire village contained left him in control of a contingent of archers capable of blotting out the sky with arrows. The only real problem, at least from the standpoint of perfectly impersonating an army, was that the arrows would quickly disappear after they hit something, which would be suspicious to even the dimmest of conscripts.

They mostly focused on the sword, since it was traditional and concealable, while still being samurai.

"You will practice with this in secret, and only in secret. Do not let anyone except your primary sensei or ANBU personnel know that you have learned kendo techniques. This is an A rank village secret and you will treat it as such."

"Fair enough. I am sort of known for clones, and if they realized I knew samurai techniques…" Naruto agreed easily.

"Your statement of the obvious will not win you any points," the horse masked ANBU snapped.

It wasn't the only incident where the ANBU ninja totally failed to show any sort of sense of humor at all, but it was one of the first. Really, other than the admittedly fairly interesting details of how to be anyone from a Rice country militiaman with a knife on a stick to a Lightning country samurai captain in white and black lacquered armor, the training was boring. It was pure training, at night, far from other people, with nobody to interact with.

No one told them why they were doing it, either. The benefits of having an army that could appear and disappear at will were obvious… but who they would use it against, and why, were matters that, when Naruto asked, were rather firmly designated Above His Security Level. You could practically hear the capitalized letters crackling in their voices each time they said it. It became such a standard answer that Naruto had even started abbreviating it to AHSL. He spent a little while trying to come up with a clever alternate meaning for it, but AH, Shit, Lies was the best he'd came up with.

He really was tired much of the time.

Especially when, after about two weeks of practice, ANBU picked them up right after Asuma had let them go for the evening, made them run half the night into the middle of fire country, make an army of local militia, march ten miles, make them scatter into the woods, then run back. They had enough time for almost two hours of sleep before regular duty with Team Ten.

Either it was practice for the real thing, or some unseen watcher really needed to believe that Fire country had a spare company of men wandering around through the woods. And despite the sharingan, despite the byakugan, and despite Naruto's own quite advanced gift for figuring out convoluted plots, they had no way of knowing why they did what they did.

They apparently did well, because they were given quite a few uninterrupted nights of sleep, with only more sword training here and there.

And finally, after three whole weeks of training, they were told to report to the public ANBU headquarters instead of Asuma, and not make any plans for a while.

They had a mission.

And it started with breakfast.

"Your portions were very carefully measured, so eat it all, and eat fast," the cat masked ANBU said idly as he handed each of them a carry out box and a little waxed paper take out bowl full of soup. "Where you're going is Above-"

"Above our security level, yeah, we got it," Naruto snapped, rather irritated. "And I suppose we have to eat fast because the food is drugged and otherwise-"

"You'll fall asleep halfway through, yes. This thing with stating the obvious really needs to stop. It's bad tradecraft," the ANBU ninja said with only the faintest trace of irony.

Naruto sighed. "Well, what about my healing? I'll probably wake up early, you know."

"Yes, that was calculated as closely as we could. We have files on you. You have an exceptionally strong dose, so don't share. Also, when you wake up in a sack, don't scream. Just grunt once, and we'll let you out as soon as possible."

"Lovely," Naruto commented with a sigh. He turned to Sasuke and Hinata, and put some false cheer in his voice. "Now children, has everyone been to the bathroom?"

There was a brief series of resigned nods.

"Wonderful! Let's eat!" he said, separating his chopsticks with a snap of wood.

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Naruto grumbled and sneezed as impersonal hands finally helped him out of the rough burlap sack he'd spent the past two waking hours in, grunting with increasing frequency. He had too much discipline to just tear his way out of the bag, which he could have easily done but might have violated whatever operational security they had going on, but he was getting really really tired of holding it, and his sack was apparently riding on another sack of slightly spoiled ginger roots. Not only was it lumpy and musty and damp, he was rapidly coming to the conclusion he would never eat ginger again.

At the all clear signal from the ANBU who released him, boar, this time, he scrambled out of the musty, foul smelling hold. He'd known he was on a boat for a while, because of the rocking motion and the moisture, but the nature and location were a mystery to him.

He was in a hurry as he scrambled to the deck, found an unoccupied section of rail, unzipped, and started peeing over the edge with a clear sigh of relief, but he still had time to look around him.

The boat was a long, narrow, flat bottomed boat slowly making its way up a slow moving river, propelled by poles wielded by unmasked men at the stern and bow, though something about their bearing made him suspect they were ninja, probably more ANBU. That suspicion was made more likely when Boar followed him out of the hold, stuffing his mask in a pocket.

Interesting. They were ANBU, but they didn't want to advertise that they were ANBU.

And then he was quite startled when a flock of some sort of incredibly colorful bird, scarlet and green and yellow, flew overhead, calling with voices not nearly as pretty as their feathered bodies. Other details started hitting him, such as dragonflies larger than any he'd ever seen, and more bird calls he'd never heard before.

"Holy shit, we're not in Fire country anymore," he whispered in near reverential awe.

One of the probably ANBU snorted and turned away, and another placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"I know, it's kind of pathetic, but remember, he's still just a genin. You have to make allowances for the stupid things they say."

Naruto blushed. He kept forgetting that ANBU had zero appreciation for a good narrative voice.

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Authors Lie: Heh, been a while. But I've posted small first chapters for a couple of side ideas, so it's not like I've not been writing. And no, I am not going to abandon People Lie anytime soon, so don't worry.

Also, if you check my bio there's some new fanart up, which illustrates the PL, rather lovecraftian, version of Naruto's seal, rather than the classic spiral. Be sure to give Muninnigu some comments!

However, I would like to note, I AM trying to make the move to original novel writing. I'm working on one I'd like to actually sell when I finish, so I won't be posting it publically anywhere. If you'd like to be a prereader of some level, either vague comments or detailed discussion, just let me know. I'm putting together a list of people to bug with my original stuff. It ain't People Lie, but you might like it anyway. If you're interested, be sure to contact me!

And yes, there are a few of you whom I'm slightly out of contact with, but if we could carry it to email or instant messenger that'd solve a lot of that. I hate the pm system they have on here.


	31. Lies Made from Light and Fire: seven

Once the shock of the entirely new place wore off, it didn't seem nearly as exotic. The trees were basically the same, the bushes were the same, and there were plenty of regular birds and stuff around. One of the ANBU apparently had some sort of relationship with one of the beautiful birds, described as a parrot, and it spent literally hours on his shoulder, preening his ear and hair and talking to him in a nearly human voice.

Of course, a talking bird, however colorful, was so mundane in the world of ninja summons that it didn't even bear mentioning. He noted that it could, and also that its immensely thick beak sheared through the tough shell of a nut with ease, and didn't attempt to get friendly.

After almost six hours, though, it was the only one of the parrots still in sight, and the environment had faded into something that wouldn't be much out of place in Fire country. Naruto guessed they might be in Tea, or south of Tea, or maybe off south west of Wind, since he heard the desert turned back into pretty normal lands if you went far enough. He had no idea how long he'd been out for, nor what methods had been used to travel, so he had no real way to judge.

Eventually, he heard a faint grunt coming from the hold, and, with a nod of permission from one of the ANBU, he went down and got Hinata out of her sack. Her hair was mussed and she smelled musty, but it felt good to have her by his side. It took her a while to compose herself, though. She kept slurring her words and seemed a bit unsteady on her feet, either a side effect of the drugs or simply being unconscious for however long.

Soon after, Sasuke started grunting. Naruto almost, _almost_ ignored it. Oh the temptation was strong, but the ANBU were humorless enough and it wasn't a good idea to play a practical joke on a mission, even if, in all likelihood they were technically on their way to the mission and not actually on it yet.

Plus, he had a sneaking suspicion that they'd been deliberately ignoring him when he first woke up, and it was the sign of lazy thought to reuse a joke that recent.

"What, are we still in Fire?" Sasuke asked, looking around suspiciously as he emerged.

"I don't… think so…" Naruto said doubtfully. "There were a bunch of those really pretty birds earlier, but they seem to have flown off. I don't think we have those at home." He made a small gesture towards the parrot.

The parrot had been sitting calmly on the ANBU's shoulder, eyeing Naruto and Hinata curiously, but when it finally caught a good look at Sasuke's profile-

"Hey there pretty thing!" it called raucously, with a piercing wolf whistle.

"What." Sasuke had a cold, cold feeling.

It was confirmed a few moments later when the big colorful macaw flew over and landed on the roof of the cabin behind him, holding on with talons and beak until it got a secure grip and then standing out sideway from the wall, cocking its head in interest as it stared at Sasuke.

Sasuke stared back at it.

"You have lovely hair. Have you ever tried ribbons? You'd look good with ribbons," the parrot informed him seriously.

"Are you hitting on Sasuke? Seriously?" Naruto asked, just wanting to make sure.

"No! No, no of course not!" the parrot protested, twisting its head nearly all the way around to glance back at the ANBU, who was frowning. "I'm a happily bonded bird, really!"

Hinata blinked. Once.

"I'm just saying, is all. Beautiful hair. A little lacking in color, but it's interesting. Dark. Dangerous. Intriguing." The parrot cocked its head sideways at Sasuke.

"You're not going to start humping the back of my head, are you?" Sasuke asked suspiciously.

"No, nonono, that would be cheating. I'm really not interested." It paused, then ducked its head under one wing to preen nervously. "Maybe a little," it admitted.

Sasuke put both hands over his head protectively.

"But really, you don't have to worry, I won't do that," it continued, almost sadly. Then it brightened, fluffing its feathers out proudly. "But I have a friend who would!" It bobbed its head and fluttered its wings proudly. "He's been looking for a pair bond for a while now, so if you've ever thought about a parrot contract…"

"Um, thanks but no thanks," Sasuke said, attempting to be polite, when all he really wanted to do was scream and throw himself into the water.

"Aww. Poor Jimmy," it said, sounding dejected. "He'd have been a good match for you, too. We're great fighters, you know. Maybe we're not as fast as the hawks and falcons, but we're a hell of a lot more literate, and I can take a man's arm off at the shoulder," it said proudly, scissoring its enormously thick beak.

The trio of genin slid a half step away from it.

"Come on Porry, you've freaked out the kids enough," the ANBU called.

The parrot eyed his partner, shrugged his wings at Sasuke, and flew back to land on the older ninja's shoulders and start preening his hair consolingly.

"I swear, do you have to hit on everything that moves? You make me feel like you don't love me anymore sometimes," the ANBU complained.

Naruto and Hinata glanced at each other dubiously, then looked back at Sasuke.

"One of these days, I'm just gonna snap, just like that, get the mangekyo, and kill everyone I see," Sasuke muttered darkly.

Naruto laughed and patted his friend on the shoulder. "Not today, Sasuke. Not today."

"But I'm a ninja, Naruto," Sasuke said distantly, his gaze far away. "I'll do it at night, and the evening is fading fast."

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Three more hours on the boat. An hour carefully running through the trees, not leaving a trail behind, until they were deep in the forest, surrounded by twenty meter trees. Then-

"Form five companies of Lightning Country regulars, one hundred samurai, and a captain in red lacquered armor," the leader of the ANBU squad, in a faceless mask, ordered.

It took several minutes, and nearly fifteen minutes of inspection by the ANBU, as well as some reordering of the ranks, and a thousand man field force of Lightning country soldiers was on the march, guided by scouting ninja in all black.

It wasn't quite a strain to make a thousand clones, although it was pushing the limits Naruto felt comfortable with. Sasuke and Hinata were both henged and marching beside him as one of the regular soldiers, not as the captain or any lieutenants as might be expected. They felt far more secure in the teeming mass of nobodies than standing out as a leader, at least on an actual mission.

Two hours turned into four, four turned into eight. They marched all night and into the morning, leaving a trail a blind man could follow. It was good woodcraft, for a samurai, but nothing but the best could have disguised the passage of a thousand bodies. They had been trained in the best, since they were, of course, shinobi, so the biggest part of Naruto's 'army' training had been in how to be good, but not great. It was not as easy as it sounded. They marched nearly silently, with only the small rattling of equipment and the occasional quiet cough or sneeze, artfully provided, to break the monotony.

They passed small signs of civilization once in the night, as they marched through a farmer's field of vegetables, and again early in the morning when they marched past a dark shack guarding a bridge over a wide, slow moving river.

The genins' eyes noted those empty signs of habitation silently. Silent communication with Hinata told them that there were no people within easy range of her dojutsu, but the few buildings they passed had looked lived in.

Either the people had heard that an army was approaching and fled wildly, which meant one thing about their mission-

-watchful eyes on the edge of the formation noted a splash of blood on the road, just a few slowly congealing droplets clinging to a bit of grass, and the information was silently passed along the ranks to the team-

-or their ANBU scouts/guides/commanders were murdering everyone in their path who might see them.

Hearts beat faster in anticipation. Breathing quickened. Thoughts of boredom and fatigue fled. Sasuke's eyebrows lifted, making him look slightly less dour. Hinata's grizzled soldier expression twisted into a smile. Naruto's eyes sparkled.

It looked like they were going to get to kill someone.

After weeks of training, hours of marching, of unanswered questions and the ever so tolerant ridicule of the experienced ANBU, the prospect of actually DOING something was like a breath of fresh air.

They were motivated, skilled, ambitious ninja, and they all had something to prove. They hungered for action.

The air started to smell cooler, more humid, with the faint tang of salt.

Were they going to attack a port city? Maybe a small village? Would they be told to assault a ship and take it over?

So many possibilities, each one like an anticipated present wrapped in a long boring march.

What waited for them was a small sheltering cove, well guarded by cliffs to prevent long seeing eyes.

There was a boat anchored just off the beach when they got there. A long fisherman's skiff, boasting a single mast and three ranks of oars, and armed with the oppressive smell of fish. There were two men, also Konoha ANBU, waiting on board.

"March them onto the water, then dispel them," one of the ANBU ordered. "Then join us on the boat."

Huh, so the army wasn't needed at this stage. Okay. They'd prefer to fight as ninja, anyway.

Following orders, the army simply walked onto the calmly rippling water, then dispelled in ranks, leaving only Naruto, Sasuke, and Hinata marching. They quickly broke ranks and joined the four ANBU who were still with the army. Six more ANBU appeared out of the trees behind the beach, and with a quick flurry of hand signals, sprinted for the boat.

Since it appeared to be a 'we need to hurry' not an 'oh shit oh shit run' sprint, Team Seven tensed but didn't otherwise react, much like the ANBU they were with. Within minutes everyone was together on the boat.

"Mission complete?" one ANBU asked.

"Mission complete. Let's go home, girls," the leader said with a slightly ironic twist to his voice, since everyone but Hinata was male.

"Mission complete? Aww, really?" Naruto mumbled, looking around.

"That's it?" Sasuke said, not really asking it as a question.

Hinata said nothing, but frowned slightly.

"Who's hungry?" one of the ANBU said cheerfully, producing three bento and three musty smelling sacks.

"Porry wants a cracker!"

"Worst-" Naruto said, like a curse.

"mission-" Sasuke added.

"EVER," Hinata finished without a trace of irony.

"Porry wants a cracker!" the parrot on the man's shoulder piped up.

"Then by all means, give your bird a cracker," added a new voice from the bottom of the boat.

Everyone, even the bird, blinked and looked down.

There was a frog, no, wait, a toad, sitting calmly amid the unused netting. It croaked once, its throat sack bulging wildly, then opened its mouth.

Five fingers of a hand emerged. Then the rest of the hand, followed by another, and, in complete defiance of the old rule that you couldn't put five pounds of rice in a two pound sack, a genial, white haired gentleman in a red haori emerged from the toads mouth and smiled brightly at them.

Hinata stared. What looked weird in three dimensions was even stranger in eight.

"But please, don't give them the drugged food. I've got other lunch plans, and they're invited," Jiraiya said, as if he was discussing lunch at the ramen stand down the road.

"Holy shit, it's Jiraiya-sama," one of the ANBU muttered in awe.

"That is okay, right boys?" Jiraiya 'asked', giving a meaningful look to the leader.

The ANBU mission commander hesitated. Actually, they had orders to get Team Seven back to Konoha before anything unfortunate happened. On the other hand, it was Jiraiya. It wasn't like he could say 'no' to one of the two surviving Sannin. He made a sign of assent.

Jiraiya smiled and nodded.

The leader turned to them. "As soon as you get back to Konoha, report to the public ANBU headquarters building and ask for Maya. We've still got to get you debriefed."

"Yes, Sir!" they chorused. Naruto even fired off a salute.

Sasuke might have as well, but he suddenly discovered a long, bright green feather in his hand, which he was sure hadn't been there a moment before. He stared at it, then looked up at the parrot, sitting quietly on his partner's shoulder.

The parrot lifted his foot up to the side of his head as if he was holding something, and mouthed 'call me' at Sasuke. Then it winked.

Sasuke shuddered.

"So how about it, kids?" Jiraiya asked, ignoring the byplay. "I know a great seafood place. Their shrimp is wonderful."

"Sounds great, when do we leave?" Naruto asked cheerfully. He didn't trust the Sannin any more than he would the Raikage, but it at least sounded more interesting than another long, drugged nap and waking up back at Konoha.

"Right now, actually," Jiraiya admitted.

Then a sixty foot long, ten feet thick, super sticky toad tongue lashed out of the water, licked all four of them off the boat, and sucked them down into the depths in less than the blink of an eye.

"I can't think of a witty statement," one of the nameless ANBU confessed in shame.

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"You're right, this shrimp is excellent," Naruto agreed, popping a tempura fried shrimp in his mouth and chewing enthusiastically.

"Very fresh," Hinata agreed, already on her second bowl of shrimp and rice.

"Not how I was expecting this mission to go, honestly," Sasuke added, looking around suspiciously at the other diners in the surprisingly large seafood restaurant only a few hundred meters inland from the ocean. There was a small dock just down the beach where, their waitress assured them, fresh seafood was brought in for the restaurant every morning and afternoon. Sasuke had opted for steamed prawns out of no real preference other than to be contrary.

"Eh, whatever," Anko said without any real heat. She was wearing a two piece red bikini and a flower print sarong around her hips in deference to the atmosphere, but she picked at her food listlessly, setting a dango ball down after biting off half of it and rolling the remains around on her plate while she took a large swing of sake straight from the bottle.

"Believe me, I know. I would have expected to be up on a remote mountain somewhere, or maybe a nice secluded valley, but the guy we're going to see apparently has pretty good taste," Jiraiya said cheerfully. "It was quite clever of him to set up so near a major tourist destination. Practically unheard of, even."

"Pardon me if I sound ungrateful, really, we appreciate all you've done for us," Naruto began as politely as he could under the circumstances, "but this detour for great shrimp wouldn't, perchance, happen to lead into some sort of incredible battle that pushes our limits and causes us to discover more about who we really are, would it?" He tried, and utterly failed, to keep the hope out of his voice.

Jiraiya laughed uproariously. "Hahahahah! That's a great one, kid! 'More about who we really are', that's priceless. I didn't have half your wit back when I was your age."

Naruto deflated. "No, huh?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "Just think of it as the beach chapter. I mean, we are at the beach."

"'Beach chapter'?" Hinata asked.

"Yeah, don't you read manga?" Jiraiya asked, seeming honestly surprised.

Hinata shook her head. "It is not fitting literature for a Hyuga."

Jiraiya looked indignant. "Not fitting- why that two-faced stuck-up… I happen to know that your father owns a complete first edition run of Lucky Streak autographed not just by me, but by Tsunade and little Shizune-chan as well! And that's in addition to my Icha Icha series, though I guess that's not manga…" Jiraiya shook his head.

"Beach chapter?" Hinata repeated.

"In basically every manga series, there's at least one, sometimes two or more if it's long enough, chapters where all the characters go to the beach. Lots of girls in bikinis, beach sports, fanservice shots, things like that. Nothing of any importance ever happens in the beach chapter," Jiraiya explained.

"Oh, that would explain why Naruto-kun is disappointed," Hinata said softly, almost to herself. She looked back up at the white haired man. "Will we be allowed to kill _anyone_?" she asked hopefully.

Jiraiya gave her a secretive little smile. "Oh, I don't know, maybe. Good things come to those who wait."

The four of them tactfully ignored the miserable aura Anko put off. Naruto had asked what she was doing there when they first arrived, which lead to a quiet, foul mouthed, and amazingly bitter order to ask Jiraiya. Jiraiya seemed uncomfortable with the situation and wouldn't answer beyond 'If I didn't need her I wouldn't have asked.', and they allowed him to change the subject. He was also clearly unhappy to find her drinking heavily when he returned with the genin, and she threw a sake saucer at him when he mentioned it, and informed him that not only would she drink what she wanted, he would also be the one paying for it. Jiraiya didn't argue.

"I've got the lunch bill, but before you ask, here," Jiraiya announced, reaching in his haori and pulling out three money bags and passing them over to the genin.

Sasuke's was a plain brown bag with an intricate leather tie, Hinata's was a lavender silk wallet with an orchid embroidered on it, and Naruto's was a cheap green frog wallet he'd gotten years ago and never replaced. They accepted their money, which they'd carefully left locked up back in Konoha, with slightly rueful expressions. Locked up and hidden personal items didn't seem to mean much to a Sannin.

"Um, thanks," Naruto said, resisting the urge to count the money inside. It wasn't as if there was anything he could do if some was missing.

"Yeah, if you want anything else, buy it yourself," Jiraiya said dismissively. "And watch those prices, tourist traps like this are expensive. We'll be here for a few days. The stars won't be right until tomorrow night."

"What about a hotel room?" Naruto asked, mentally perking up at the reference to the stars.

"We could sleep on the beach," Hinata offered. It actually sounded rather nice to her. It looked quite inviting.

"Oh, don't worry about that," Jiraiya said dismissively. "This guy we're going to see in a few, he's got a huge house. I'm sure he won't mind a few guests showing up unexpectedly."

"Oh," Naruto said, understanding finally hitting him. "We're going to kill him, aren't we?"

"Naturally," Jiraiya replied. "But not just because we want to use his place. He happens to be a very bad man."

"Tourist trap, huh?" Sasuke said, having focused on some of Jiraiya's earlier words.

Jiraiya actually looked sad for a moment. "You have no idea."

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After the dim light in the restaurant, Naruto and Sasuke blinked owlishly at the world around them when they emerged onto the bright, sunny beach. Hinata adjusted her new dark tinted sunglasses, which hid her empty, black eyes. Jiraiya shaded his eyes with one broad hand and grinned happily at a trio of bikini clad girls chatting animatedly as they walked down the beach, one of them holding an umbrella to shade them from the sun.

"I love the beach," Jiraiya said happily. "This is the best place there is to have a mission. It's like an op in a comfort house, but with better scenery."

"I hate this fuckin' place," Anko offered, pushing them aside rudely. She was already starting to weave a bit as, bottle in hand, she headed for the beach.

They watched silently as she stumbled twice on her way to a luckless couple sunning themselves on lounge chairs a dozen feet from the water.

"You're in my chair," she announced without introduction.

"Excuse me?" the man, who was the closer of the two, asked, startled. He pushed his shades up to look at her better.

"You. My chair. Get out."

"I think there must be some mistake-gack!" he agreed as he quickly left his chair behind.

Anko was helping him get up with an impossibly strong hand clamped on his throat. Then, ignoring the increasingly panicked screams of his girlfriend, she tossed him casually aside, straddled the chair, and lay back, sake bottle in hand. An eternity later for her, a second later for the civilians, she sat back up and squinted grouchily. The sun was too bright.

The man hit the sand ten feet away and rolled once, scrambling to his hands and knees a moment later, his eyes wide and frightened.

His girlfriend scrambled to her feet to run to him, only to literally be jerked off her feet as she tried to run by Anko, who snagged her wrist.

Ignoring her captive's brief struggle, Anko effortlessly lifted the girl's shades off her face, then let her go. Anko leaned back once more, settling the sunglasses over her eyes. Much better.

Jiraiya watched the whole exchange with sad eyes before turning to the genin.

"Well, since Anko just shot half my plan to hell, you three will be filling in for her," he announced.

"We won't have to sleep with anyone, will we?" Naruto asked, one eyebrow raised.

"No, just stab," Jiraiya replied.

"Oh, duh," Naruto said, smacking himself in the head. "I forgot what Anko's skill set is. My mistake."

"Interesting, though," Sasuke commented. "I don't remember Anko-san being a bully."

Jiraiya sighed, looking at the sunbathing ninja woman with, not lust, but guilt. "Right now… I can't blame her. Anko... she's suffered enough, and she's going to suffer more." His expression suddenly turned stern. "Let Anko be a lesson to you," he said, pointing at Naruto, "you," he said, pointing at Sasuke, "and especially you," he said, pointing to Hinata. He held each of their gaze in turn, going back to Naruto at the end.

Naruto looked at him expectantly.

"The reason you have so many people so concerned about your development is, in part, directly related to Anko's situation. Sasuke, and especially Hinata, both look to you, Naruto."

"Just for raw eldritch power," Sasuke offered cheerfully. "Poor guy couldn't lead off duty ninja into a bar."

Hinata said nothing.

Jiraiya shook his head and motioned to Anko. "She had someone much like Naruto, once. Her sensei, my old teammate, Orochimaru. He taught her, he gave her power, and she devoted herself to him and his goals. She gave so much of herself to him that she didn't keep anything left for herself. And when he left, he broke her soul and almost destroyed her mind. It's a testament to how tough Anko really is that she survived at all, much less as functional as she is." He held Naruto's gaze. "All because her sensei made the wrong choices. Even if someone wants to sacrifice themselves for you, you have to be aware that it is a sacrifice, and once you make one, you can't take it back. It's a big responsibility, a huge weight you'll have to shoulder, but the price for failure is something none of us want to see again. So you can get tired of all our meddling old men antics… but we're doing all we can to prevent a deeply personal horror from happening again. So deal with it."

Naruto nodded seriously, glancing doubtfully at Anko. He'd known that pain fueled her antics, but it was interesting to hear a little about where that pain came from.

"Where did he go?" Sasuke asked. "We've heard rumors and hints, but no one will actually say where he went. Is he dead?"

Jiraiya hesitated. "Orochimaru… went out. As in, Out." He waved a hand vaguely up. "Out beyond, somewhere. And that's why Anko is here. When conditions are right, she can summon him back. I know seals and jutsu as much as anyone else alive, but your blood summon abilities are rather unique, and the only one I've ever seen with a blood pact anything even remotely like that is-" He looked back out at the beach.

Anko took a long drink from the half empty sake bottle in her hand and rubbed at the three close set marks on the back of her neck. Tears slid silently from beneath her sunglasses and dripped unheeded down her cheeks.

"If I can learn from the past to keep from hurting my friends, I'm all for it," Naruto said seriously.

"That's good, that's what I want to hear," Jiraiya said. "Because a really nice, convenient aspect of this beautiful, sunny beach is that it's the perfect place to recover from the terrible things that are about to happen." He held up a hand for silence before they could interrupt. "What terrible things? I don't know. But we're about to violate mother nature in ways that even the Kusaragi Leaf-Mist P.O.W. accords would ban, and let me assure you, terrible things ALWAYS happen when you do that. And since Anko isn't leaving this beach until we carry her off, you three are to be on full alert. If it's a threat, kill it. Don't wait for me to give you the okay, don't second guess yourself, just listen to your instincts unless I say otherwise."

"Yes, Jiraiya-sama!" Naruto said cheerfully, with Hinata and Sasuke echoing him right after.

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Their destination, as it turned out, was actually a rather large, sprawling mansion with a tall, thick stone wall surrounding it and the lovely garden inside. The stone was a pleasantly cool shade of tan and the mansion was white with a red clay tile roof. An ornate ironwork gate barred the path leading in, and although it was clearly unlocked they didn't immediately enter. To one side there was a heavy bronze bell with a knotted rope tied to the clapper, and Jiraiya pulled on it immediately when they arrived.

An immaculately dressed man in a black servant's outfit arrived within minutes. Although he was an older man with slightly receding hairline, his hair was still black without a trace of grey, and his dark eyes were clear and watchful.

They had several moments to watch him walking swiftly down the stone walkway. He seemed slightly stiff, but still healthy, and he was either skilled enough to hide his abilities or had no combat training at all. He stared at them without making it obvious and kept his hands by his side.

"Hello!" Jiraiya called. "We're here to see the master of the house!"

"I'm af-grllllk," the man said as he went down with a kunai in his throat.

Hinata pulled her hand back from her lightning quick throw and fell into a fighting stance.

Jiraiya sighed and put his hand over his face.

"Have I told you I loved you lately?" Naruto asked, looking back at her as he pushed the gate open.

"She don't say much, but she's got a wonderful sense of humor," Sasuke said happily, already scanning for threats.

Hinata slipped quickly through the gate and made her way to the downed man, blood still bubbling out his mouth and the hole in his throat, though the tip of the blade had pierced his spinal cord and he'd died without flopping. She carefully rolled his arm over and pried the death clench of his fingers off the base of a stone rod carved with strange runes which had been hidden in his sleeve. Grabbing the sleeve of his black jacket so she wouldn't touch the stone directly, she shook his arm slightly so the eldritch rod slipped out, onto the ground where everyone could see.

Hinata looked up at Jiraiya, her face impassive.

Jiraiya rolled his eyes as he pulled out a silk cloth and came over to pick up the runed rod and tuck it safely away. "Alright, alright, fine. But at least give me a chance to say a few words to the owner of the house before you kill him, okay?"

Hinata nodded her head slightly in acknowledgement.

Naruto studied the dead man intently, even going so far as to reach down and tilt his head back and forth and scrutinize him from different angles. Then he formed the tora seal and created a quartet of clones. Three grabbed the corpse, and one immediately turned into a duplicate of the man.

"We wouldn't want master to wonder where his servant went before you surprise him, now would we? " the transformed clone asked, varying his pitch a little until he had an approximation of what the man's word and a half dialogue had sounded like.

"Oh, and do you know how he addresses 'master'?" Jiraiya asked archly.

Naruto looked insulted. "Well NO, but we're just barging in, right? I figure a few alarmed words as I go running in with you right behind me will startle him, then one of you pretends to bop me on the head and knock me out. We get a secret reinforcement that pretends to be out cold on the floor, and the guy gets the message that you're here to talk, forcefully, perhaps, but not to kill, so maybe he won't react with violence as his first option."

Jiraiya shrugged. "Sounds good, kid. We'll go with that."

Naruto slumped. "You were just gonna wing it, weren't you?"

"I figured you three would come up with something," Jiraiya said with a shrug. "We'll be fine. Don't get me wrong, the guy is deadly, but he has no idea what he's up against and I know exactly what he is. This isn't the dangerous part."

"Well, could you let us know when the dangerous part starts?" Naruto asked. "Doing this kind of thing with a Sannin is kind of weirding me out."

Jiraiya snorted, amused. "Well, let's get on with it."

"Three people in the compound. One, a woman, washing laundry 112 meters that way, outside the house at a utility building," Hinata began, as professional as possible. "Two more sitting on opposite sides in a large room in the main house, apparently reading. One is male, very dark chakra. Other unknown, possible male, very strange energy, unlike anything I've ever seen. No animals, no obvious traps. Some seals and strange distortions in the… air..." she faltered, trying to explain the there/not there nature of the effect of things like storage seals and the like, "but unlike any seal I've seen before. One seems to be on the house itself, others are in side rooms or under the house. There is a complex of underground rooms underneath the entire house, with many strange seal effects present."

"The two men in the house are our destination," Jiraiya confirmed. "Probably the weird energy guy, occult spells will do that sometimes. Go for it, kid."

Hinata quickly sketched the house layout in the air, and indicated the position of the two men and how to get there.

Naruto the servant grinned, threw a sketchy salute, and ran for the house, the others hot on his heels.

He kept his speed down to what he guessed was civilian normal, bumped into a table once with a thump to add some authenticity, and burst into the room with the two men with his eyes wide.

"Intruders! In the house!" he gasped, noting that one man kept reading, and the man designated as more 'normal' but dark, chakra, looked up, startled. Then he felt a fist brush the back of his head, and he toppled forward limply, hitting the floor with a thump and not moving.

Jiraiya stepped forward, both hands out to the sides, palms up.

"Sorry about that, oh, don't worry, he'll live," he began in a friendly tone of voice. "I'm afraid I quite alarmed the poor guy outside when I insisted that I speak to the master of the house." He smiled and studied the two men carefully.

Both were older, the more animated one was in his sixties, wrinkly, bald, with a scraggly tuft of a beard, wearing a nice, plain black silk robe. The other man, who, only then, lifted his head to give Jiraiya a calm, unimpressed look, was nearly as old, and quite weathered as well, but seemed stronger somehow, with long white hair pulled back in a braid, and even nicer, embroidered robes with an elegant and exotic flower design on the smooth black silk.

"Jiraiya the Toad Sage. So the Lord of Cyrankosh sent you to be his emissary," the man said, as calm and faintly disdainful as if he were talking to a tax collector.

"Nishi the Sorcerer," Jiraiya acknowledged turning to more squarely face the calm, white haired man. "You knew someone would come."

Naruto and the others spread out behind him, between and to one side of the two men. The room was large, but mostly empty, with a small writing desk at each end, and the men seated on the floor at each. Both had books, but only the bald man had writing implements, and had apparently been scribbling notes in a cramped, barely legible hand, which he had resumed as soon as the other man had spoken.

"We had a deal, that smiling toad and I. I paid my share," he replied, blinking once.

Jiraiya shrugged and 'hmm'ed to himself. "It's not about that fat furry bastard, actually, I only deal with the lower toads. I'm here because… well, you've created a nice little setup here for yourself. It attracted some attention. Attention I don't really like being focused this close to a bunch of innocent people." Jiraiya

"Innocent people? Is there such a thing?" Nishi sounded amused by the concept.

"Not in this room," Naruto added cheerfully.

Nishi seemed to focus on him for a moment, and there was a gasp from the bald man.

"The Jinchuriki of the Nine tails!" he hissed in fear and shock, pausing in his writing. "What is the meaning of this?! I thought you served the tailless!"

Naruto placed his hand on Hinata and Sasuke's shoulder, and Hinata slipped closer, under his arm. He wanted to deny it, to say that Jiraiya wasn't one of HIS, but he had only the vaguest ideas of what the old pervert was thinking. Hinata said he was doing something, something with his words, but their version of touch communication wasn't the most elaborate language in the world, since it was based on standard ninja sign language.

"Times, they are a changing," Jiraiya said enigmatically. "And if you want to change with them, rather than getting just rolled under the tides, I'd like access to your library. In return, I can convince some interested parties to not be so interested." He smiled and gestured expansively, twiddling his fingers just a tad as he did so. "After all, you put a lot of effort into this lovely home. I'm sure you want to continue enjoying it long into the twilight."

"Of man's existence? That had been my plan, I will admit. The ocean air is good for old bones. Tell me, which books are you interested in? Perhaps we could work out an understanding. I've dealt with your master before." He glanced back at Naruto, standing casually alert behind Jiraiya. "Or is it a new master you're here on behalf of?"

Naruto, meanwhile, had been doing some thinking. Jiraiya was using only the most vague concepts, perhaps to keep Naruto himself unaware of all of the powers at play, perhaps just to keep the man guessing. He clearly knew who Jiraiya was, and the legendary ninja was well known for knowing more than he should, so not many people would think he was nothing but empty bluffs. Jiraiya was up to something, something almost invisible, and incomprehensible even to Hinata's eyes. He was both keeping the man off balance, and also buying time to complete whatever it was he was doing. Charging in here like that would have startled anyone, but the old guy seemed pretty imperturbable. Only baldy on the other side of the room had shown any animation, really.

Come to think of it, what purpose did Baldy serve? He clearly wasn't a servant, but he played the subservient role, acting as if the events going on right in front of him did not impact him. And still writing? Hinata said the characters he wrote were standard kanji, meaningless dates and locations.

And yet, what purpose did he serve?

Naruto had both hands occupied, one hand on Sasuke's left shoulder, his other wrapped around Hinata. If he moved, he would have drawn some attention. But there was no need for him to move. The contact sign language they used, as mentioned before, had many limitations in content and context, but it was absolutely perfect when it came to 'Kill that man'.

Sasuke, moving with the lightning quick speed of chakra enhanced muscles and the precision of someone who could see everything before it actually happened, flicked a three point shuriken through the air so fast that it went all the way through Baldy's throat and severed his spine.

Nishi halted mid word, his head slowly drooping so that it appeared as if he was looking at his book again, and stopped moving altogether.

Jiraiya stopped and frowned. Glanced between Baldy and Nishi, then raised one eyebrow at Sasuke.

"Why'd you kill him?" he asked, curious.

Sasuke hesitated, thinking. He'd killed him because Naruto told him to, and he was still trying to catch up with Naruto's train of thought so he could figure out why. Obviously, 'Nishi' was somehow just a puppet of the writing guy, and Naruto had figured it out. But he wasn't getting how Naruto had known. He finally shrugged. "Because Naruto asked me to," he admitted.

Jiraiya gave him a measuring look.

Sasuke flushed. "Look, Naruto isn't always right, we all know that, but he always seems to understand things about people that I don't think about. So ask him." He turned to his friend. "So how DID you figure out that he was the real bad guy?"

"He had no other purpose," Naruto replied, stepping forward to prod 'Nishi' in the head with one dubious finger. He looked up and turned back to the others. "No one just takes notes during the kind of conversation you two were having, Hinata had mentioned the strange energy, no one has NO chakra, you were doing something while it appeared that you were just talking, so it all just came together. I figured whatever you were doing might be complex enough that you didn't have time to notice little things like Baldy back here writing a bunch of pointless stuff and up to no good, so he obviously needed to die. Besides. I was right."

Jiraiya nodded, waving his hand in the air over the dead man's desk. "True. You were right. Now that I look at it, he was writing seals in the air with the back of his brush. Nasty ones, at that. It probably wouldn't have broken through my defenses… but not taking chances is exactly what I told you to do. Good job, kids. Just a couple of things to do here and you can hit the beach while I figure out the guy's lab." He pulled the corpse away from the desk and laid it out flat. Sasuke's shuriken had caught the man in the center of the throat, and while it had severed his windpipe, esophagus, and spine, it had actually missed the arteries and veins running down the side of the neck, so the bleeding was actually minimal.

Jiraiya knelt beside the dead man and quickly produced a brush from inside a secret pocket. Dipping it in the blood still dribbling from the hole in the man's throat, he quickly started writing seals on the man's forehead, the back of his hands, and at several other locations on the man's body, occasionally stopping to mutter to himself in a strange tongue and form some hand seals.

That finished, he lifted the man's hand and, heedless of the ink stains the man had gotten while scribbling his notes, put the tip of the pinky finger in his mouth, and bit the end off with a crunch of teeth through bone. He chewed slightly with a grimace, then swallowed the fresh piece of flesh and bone.

He looked up, startled, to see Naruto, Sasuke, and Hinata staring at him, eyes wide and unblinking.

Jiraiya snorted. "Oh, don't give me that look. Humanity isn't a cliff you jump over and lose, it's a slope. A slippery slope, true, but we're ninja. We can walk on ceilings if we want to."

"Neat." Hinata was the only one to comment.

Jiraiya ignored her, closing his eyes and sitting back on his feet as he started processing a sudden flood of information. It wasn't Nishi's whole life, just some of his recent memories and the most ingrained skills. The flesh of the sorcerer often retained the memories of life, even after death. He'd have to burn the body later, and scatter the ashes wide.

"Huh," he muttered to himself. "I didn't know he spoke Aklo." Shrugging, he formed several more seals, then tapped the man on the forehead.

Baldy, at least, the real Nishi, sat up, eyes wide and staring.

"Breathe, Nishi, breathe," Jiraiya coaxed. "And don't forget to blink sometimes."

The first breath was a rattle, with blood still in his lungs, but it quickly settled to a slight wheeze, and the man blinked, once a minute, repetitively. "Master," he said, looking at Jiraiya as his reanimator pulled out a silk scarf and wound it around the zombie's neck to hide the shuriken wound.

"Cool! Will you teach me how to do that?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"It's a definite maybe," Jiraiya allowed, then glanced at them. "But you didn't see any of this."

They all shook their heads emphatically.

"Naruto, get your kage bunshin up," Jiraiya ordered. "His name is Yu Chen, and he's the half brother of this guy's wife. He calls her Jiejie when they're alone, her proper name, Wu Huan, in front of Nishi here. I don't expect you to keep up the ruse in front of her so Nishi is going to send you out to meet someone to buy some rare artifact. It's not the first time he's done something like that so it shouldn't be suspicious, and will go a long way to explaining why we're suddenly going to be best friends." He thought for a moment, then added. "Keep the money."

He stopped and started scribbling quickly on a piece of paper, borrowing Nishi's supplies to do so. Within a few moments he had a false letter of meeting written, which he handed to Nishi with a carefully worded set of instructions on when and how to give it to the disguised clone. He also briefly disappeared from the room, returning in moments with a small, bulging sack of money he'd apparently grabbed from some hiding place further inside the home. He tucked it inside Nishi's kimono, where it made a noticable bulge. Then he ordered, "Call in Wu Huan. Tell her we are honored guests, to fix _safe_ rooms for us and one other, and to attend to our needs. If she has questions, reassure her. After that, give the letter and money to Yu Chen so he can buy something that you're very happy about. You are very happy we are here."

"I am very happy you are here," Nishi said dumbly, then grinned maniacally and climbed to his feet, a little too spry for an old man.

It was sort of unsettling.

"Wu Huan!" the man yelled, nearly congealed blood from his lungs flecking his lips from the force of the yell.

Jiraiya quickly wiped them clean.

Within a minute, a thirtyish but still pretty woman came at the summons. She had long, deep black hair the same shade as Hinata's but pulled up into a bun sat high on the back of her head, with a couple of bone hairpins keeping it in place. Her kimono was smudged with dirt and dirty water, indicating that she'd been cleaning, and she immediately blushed and tried to cover up some of the worst stains when she saw Jiraiya and the others.

"Oh, My Husband, I did not know we had guests! I humbly apologize!" she babbled, terribly embarrassed. Then she saw that the tip of Nishi's finger was missing.

"My Husband, you're hurt!" she exclaimed, immediately going to her knees beside him and taking her hand gently in his.

Nishi took his hand back. "It's nothing, it's already stopped bleeding." It was true, though he moved again, and his chest rose and fell with breath, his heart no longer beat, and his blood was congealing in his veins.

"But, you're missing the tip of your finger!" she exclaimed, glancing worriedly at the newcomers, then looking at her brother for reassurance. He stood quietly nearby, apparently unconcerned. "Does lord Nishi know about this?" she asked, glancing at the inanimate man still apparently engrossed in his book.

"Wu Huan, please. It's nothing compared to what I have gained! Meet our honored guests!" he gestured excitedly a the others, flinging his injured hand just a little too enthusiastically.

Sasuke tilted his head slightly so a drop of thick, dark blood missed hitting him in the face.

"They'll be staying with us for now, so we'll need rooms for them. Safe rooms, to be sure. They are guests, peers of knowledge and stars! They already know about our little 'public Nishi', so there's no need to pretend."

"Oh…" she said, blinking. Guests who knew their secret… and were still honored guests. That had never happened before. But as a dutiful wife, she would adapt and overcome. It would be nice to have guests that they might actually stay friends with! How exciting!

Finished with her, he turned to his servant, Yu Chen, and thrust the letter out almost like a punch. His other hand groped at his kimono, leaving a bloody stain, until he was able to get it open and retrieve the large sack of money.

The clone took the letter and the money with as much decorum as he could manage.

"Go!" Nishi exclaimed. "Meet the man in the letter and bring me the artifact! I never thought I'd get my hands on one of those!" He paused, then added, "I am happy!" in case someone didn't get the message.

Naruto's clone bowed and quickly fled the scene.

Nishi wound down and just stood there for a moment. His initiative was extremely limited, and had just ran out.

"Jiraiya of the Sages, young miss, a pleasure to meet you," Jiraiya said, bowing deeply and covering for the suddenly silent reanimated man. He elbowed Nishi in the side. "You said your wife was lovely, but you didn't tell me she was this lovely! You old letch you, trying to hide your woman. Hah! Don't worry, friend, I won't steal your wife today." He leaned closer to the woman to wink and leer. "No promises about tomorrow, though."

Wu Huan giggled and blushed.

"My Lord," she said, bowing even deeper in return.

Nishi just grinned that same maniacal grin he'd worn since Jiraiya had told him he was happy.

"And might I present my young charges? This is Naruto, his sister Hinata, and Sasuke. There is one more who will be joining us later, a young woman named Anko."

"Oh, how wonderful. I always say that young people seem to have no love of learning these days, I'm glad to see that it's not always the case. I'm sure they're all very diligent students," she replied, smiling happily as she bowed politely to them. If the black void where Hinata's eyes should be bothered her, she didn't let it show. "I know just the rooms. They're very popular with the people from town, and they have a lovely view of the ocean, very cool with the breezes. I'll prepare them properly so that they're very safe for our honored guests."

Each of them bowed in turn. Naruto was just going to roll with it, and Sasuke didn't care, but Hinata didn't like the way things were going.

"Oh, Sensei!" she protested, shooting a look that, if it wasn't for the creepy black eyes, would be an appropriate expression for an embarrassed young girl. She turned back to Wu Huan. "Sensei loves to embarrass us, but really, Naruto and I are newly married. Could you please put us together? Sensei is such a tease, he always makes me ask wherever we go."

Jiraiya just shrugged, like an old man caught in a fib, and let it go. Truthfully, it didn't matter one way or another, and he had said it as a joke. Sasuke was right, she didn't say much, but she did have a sharp wit.

"Ohhhh," Wu Huan said, her eyes tearing up almost instantly. "Newlyweds? How wonderful! We see them quite often among the, you know, tourists who come. This is a wonderful place for newlyweds. I know just the room." She smiled and winked. "It's away from your Sensei, so you'll have some privacy."

"Well, students, why don't you go out for a little while, give our hostess time to prepare the rooms? My friend and I have many things to discuss in the lab below."

"The lab… BELOW!" Nishi echoed, grinning madly.

Arm around his shoulder, Jiraiya led him away.

Wu Huan smiled warmly and hurried to begin preparations. She hadn't seen her husband so… animated in years!

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Authors lie: Nishi means 'west', so you should get the joke now if you're a mythos fan. And good news everyone! This chapter ended up running so long that I had to split it, so I've got another one already ready to go, and it may run to a third chapter not too long after that. I still want to do some contemplation and editing, but you can expect the second part of this beach arc within a few days to a week.

Mad props to Barranca who left the review for last chapter speculating that the ANBU were carrying them off to a well earned beach vacation. The guess wasn't quite perfectly correct, but it's close enough to be eerie.

I also realize that the fighting is sort of… unsatisfying in this chapter. I've tried to think of ways to make it more shonenish, with big elaborate action like the fight between Team Lie and Team Gai, but it felt too forced, and logically, doesn't make any sense. You're only going to get a drawn out fight when you've got two people close to the same level in skill who don't want to kill each other, or when you've got fighters who are all but immortal. Fighting for real, you're gonna end up with something like Neji and Hinata, where it lasts a few seconds and then one goes down, or something more like what happened here, where the loser dies very, very quickly. Identify the weakness, in this case the inability to maintain life processes with a chunk of steel in the throat, then act on it.

Unfortunately, that 'realism' I try to go for means that the story ends up unbalanced, with whopping great chunks of dialog and 'between' stuff, then like one paragraph where someone gets killed.

Sorry, action fans. I'll try to do better. As always, reviews are how I get paid, and I love to hear what you think.

Also, as a purely real life note, some of you may know that I occasionally play video games in my spare time. Recently, I went back to World of Warcraft after a four and a half year lag. There's like a million things to do in WoW, so it's my game of choice for the foreseeable future. Don't worry about me getting addicted, the minute I feel anything interferes with my writing, it ALWAYS gets dropped in favor of writing, and I've already proved that I had no trouble dropping the habit before. Still, if there's any of you reading and you want to come poke murlocs with me, I'm on a US server, Earthen Ring, horde side. It's RP, which means it's basically just PVE, because almost no one even pretends to RP anymore. I ended up there because that's where my friends were back in 2005, and I stayed because I didn't want to start a new character and I don't want to pay $30 for moving to a pvp server. I'm afraid I really only have one main, playing one character is time consuming enough, I don't want to put the work in on a second one. I just hit 77 and got epic flight and cold weather flying, I'm maxed alchemy/herbalism, dual specced beartank/tree, we regularly run lowbies through instances, and I run a thriving cat smuggling operation to pay the bills. I also have a guild to look out for, which for some strange reason I seem to be guildmaster of, called Netherweave Underground. If you're already there or you want to drop in and say hi, give Nephren, that's me, a whisper. We have a vent, too, though it's a private server with an eight person limit. Need to fix that soon.

For the horde!

And look for the new chapter soon.


	32. PL OFFSHOOT FIC, ASK ME NO QUESTIONS

This is not a real update to People Lie, but IS a notice to those of you who might have People Lie on alert but not me as an author in general. People Lie is being losely continued in a separate fic under an entirely new title as a spinoff. Just go to my bio page and scroll down to Ask Me No Questions to continue with Team Lie's adventures in canon world. Otherwise, keep reading.

Hope you enjoy.

-Nugar


	33. Yes, it's real! Lies Light and Fire 8

Rumors of People Lie's death as an active and ongoing fic are greatly exaggerated. In fact…

Dey was lies.

Imagine that.

Returning after nearly a year of idling in the back, I give you Lies Made of Light and Fire, chapter eight.

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Naruto, Sasuke and Hinata immediately leapt to the top of the house when they exited, and paused for a moment, squinting in the sunshine. Then, without discussion, they each made two clones of themselves, and formed three identical teams, one real person and two clones on each. Then, they split up three ways and began a slow, careful spiral out from the main house, stopping to familiarize themselves with likely trap locations, hiding places, and any other possible secrets around. Careful, thorough scouting usually took quite a while, but with two eye based bloodlimits on their team, it went quite fast.

There weren't any secret underground entrances, hidden caches of weapons, money, anything of the sort. The house did have an extraordinarily large basement as Hinata had pointed out, and it was apparently sufficient for the needs of the sorcerer. They also didn't find any shallow graves in the backyard or anything of the sort.

Jiraiya had been right, for a family that had been killing tourists, they'd been very careful to conceal any evidence of wrongdoings.

Spiraling out quickly had them up against the water, trotting down the beach amid the scattered sunbathers and swimmers. Hinata took special care there to scan the sand and shallow water, and Naruto's clone took time to stop and inform Anko that they had a place to stay and how to get there. He got a half full sake bottle thrown at his head for his troubles, so they left her alone after that.

He kept the bottle, too.

They also met up with Naruto's clone, who handed the sack of money over. It turned out to be mostly gold coins with a few bills mixed in, about thirteen thousand ryo in total, which wasn't bad for free money, even split three ways. They were already going to get paid for the ANBU mission, and apparently this was going to be their pay for the surprise side project. That was about B rank pay, and they could live happily with that.

Some half kilometer or so behind the house led to more houses, a whole little neighborhood of locals tucked into the forest, and to one side they ran back into the outskirts of the little port town that supported the area. Fishing seemed to be the dominate the local industry, with just a little bit of trade overflow from the even larger port 45 kilometers to the north. Sasuke's group was the first to really enter the town, and, at odds with his normally reticent nature, the first to strike up a conversation with the locals.

Of course, this mainly involved him poking Naruto's clone and saying, "Hey, find out where we are and what's going on here." Conversation by proxy was still conversation. Sort of.

And so they determined that they were, in fact, still in Fire country, on the southern coast near Wind.

That was cause for some whispered discussion. Jiraiya's immense toad had swallowed them all for their brief journey, which had taken maybe seven minutes. During that time, it had hopped thirty one times, as judged by the actually quite gentle impacts. Despite the whirlwind motion of being licked off a boat and eaten, they'd determined that they'd gone west. Even if the toad had covered two kilometers a hop, which would be stretching even for its size, they must have still been in Fire when they performed their mission.

So, barring some sort of incredible distance covering toad technique, they had turned into a Lightning army, marched across their own country, and killed some of their own civilians.

Their reactions were mixed. On one hand, it was more than reasonably likely that their superiors didn't order the murder of Fire country civilians for anything less than the best reasons, so it was great that they were doing something important. On the other hand…

"I don't know if I like this, really," Naruto confessed to his teammates. "I feel conflicted, as if killing innocent people who were just in the wrong place at the wrong time was somehow…" He shrugged.

"Wrong?" Sasuke offered.

Naruto looked relieved. "Wrong, yeah, that's it."

"Well, no one is ever innocent," Hinata said by way of making it better.

"Yeah, but I don't think I can just kill everyone who is guilty of _something_," Naruto countered.

Hinata thought about that for a moment, then looked at him again.

"I believe in you, Naruto," she said seriously.

"Do your best!" Sasuke said in a parody of the traditional encouragement.

Naruto face palmed.

Sasuke shrugged. "I know what you're saying, actually. And yeah, fine. We'll find out what actually happened. It might be a test of some sort, you know."

"Sasuke is right. On one hand, a shinobi is supposed to obey orders without question, but on the other, our superiors have shown concern over our willingness to kill. Perhaps we are supposed to react with concern?"

"The question is… what would normal people do?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto looked up quickly. "No, Sasuke, we are not going to kidnap someone off the street and ask them."

Sasuke frowned, then smirked. That wasn't what he'd meant, but on second thought it was a funny thing to be accused of, so he let it slide.

"Well, we weren't supposed to know we were still in Fire, and we only know because of Jiraiya…" Naruto mused aloud. "So I guess… I should ask him." He waved his hand theatrically. "Back to the beach house we go!"

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It actually took Hinata a few moment's scan to find the entrance to the basement, hidden in a small room off the master bedroom. Jiraiya and the reanimated Nishi were down there, with Jiraiya apparently engrossed in a book.

Naruto tapped softly on the trapdoor before he opened it.

"Come on down, but don't touch anything," Jiraiya called.

Carefully, they walked down the steep stairs leading into the hidden laboratory.

The area under the house was actually well appointed, with plenty of electric lighting and oil lamp backups. The floor was polished stone, neatly swept, but stained by blood and harder to identify liquids here and there. It was once just a big open area supported by pillars, but it had been divided up into several rooms that were clearly added as an afterthought. Their walls were decorated by complex seals in ink, blood, metal, and bone, but two symbols seemed to repeat the most, one being much like the branch of a tree, and the other a five pointed star with a flame coming out of the middle.

"Hey, that's like mine," Naruto commented, pointing at it.

"Yeah, that's a big one for restraining power," Jiraiya agreed, not looking up from his book. He was kneeling on a nice rug set to one side of the first area of the lab, leaning comfortably against the stone wall. If he seemed particularly bothered by the fact that his book was bound in human skin, he didn't let it affect him.

Nishi knelt nearby, his eyes blank and distant. Exactly twice every minute, he would blink, and his breath was as regular as the motions of a clock.

"Good book?" Naruto asked.

"The characters are kind of wooden and the writing style is as dense as a lead brick, but it's strangely compelling," Jiraiya admitted. "They've got a whole library of this stuff, it turns out that Wu Huan's family were printers, and they'd gotten a hold of some really rare books over the generations. That's how Nishi found them. They've even got a tiny printing press in that room over there," he said, waving his hand at one of the other cubicles. "How'd the scouting go?"

Naruto gave him a quick rundown, which amounted to nothing much, then hesitated.

Jiraiya turned a page. "And?"

"And… we figured out we're in Fire country, and we're pretty sure we were in Fire when you picked us up," Naruto added.

"Yeah, it's pretty common to keep people in the dark as to the exact nature of their mission, and they were under special orders to make sure you didn't figure out. Good thing all that doesn't apply to me." He turned another page, reading quickly. "Ask your questions."

Naruto nodded gratefully and kept his tone light and conversational. "Well, you know we formed a clone army and marched it across country for most of a day, and even through a small town. But we never saw any people, and we even noticed some bloody places where it looked like someone had been killed. Knowing that we were still in Fire kinda puts a new spin on that. Are we going to be killing our own civilians very often?" He raised one eyebrow to appear innocently curious.

Jiraiya sighed. "God damn it, kid."

Naruto blinked.

Jiraiya closed the book with a snap of pages coming together and looked up at them. "Must you do EVERYTHING backwards? Is it some sort of thing with you?"

"I- I don't know what you mean," Naruto answered, shocked.

Jiraiya rose to his feet and towered over them. "This is the kind of situation where most genin would show up and be disillusioned, with doubts about their purpose and the village. Most ninja want to see themselves as the good guys, even if they're aware that most of the time they're not really, they see it as just dealing with the necessities of the moment. A genin like that I could stop and reassure that, for a mission this big, the village would have held nothing but deep cover and retired shinobi, who abandoned their homes at the drop of a hat to add to the deception that an invading army had swept them up like rice straw. No, Naruto, as a rule, we only sacrifice innocent people if there is NO other choice, and as ninja of Konoha we're always called upon to place ourselves in danger to _protect _our people. That's what being a Konoha ninja is all about." He glared at Naruto, his killing intent leaking out.

Naruto, and the other two as well, took an involuntary step backwards.

"But not you. Kid, we get it." He jabbed his human skin book at Naruto. "You're all badass and you think nothing of killing. You've got to come at it from the other direction, don't you? You kill civilians, and then you want to know when you get to kill some more. But if you think that impresses me, it don't. Plenty of people can kill, brat. Even a regular thug off the street can sneak into someone's house and stab them to death. If that was all there was to being a ninja, we'd hire thugs. But it is NOT. If you want to start advancing as a ninja, you better wise up, get your head out of your ass, and start trying to act more like a god damned member of Konoha and less like some murderous little shit."

Naruto cheeks were burning, and he was all but crying. Strangled sounds came from his throat, and his hands clenched and unclenched with barely suppressed fury and shame.

Jiraiya started to pace back and forth a little, just a few steps each direction. "This is exactly the kind of shit you've been pulling that's made everyone start looking at you like a bomb about to go off. News flash, brat, all you're doing is making everyone paranoid about you and hurting your own situation. I mean, seriously, what are you trying to accomplish? Do you want to be treated like a monster?"

Naruto couldn't say anything.

"Well?" Jiraiya demanded.

"…" Naruto couldn't speak.

"Spit it out, boy. What did you hope to gain by your questions?"

Sasuke spoke up, his tone quiet and measured. "I believe that he was hoping to insure that we would not be used in such a way that we were expected to kill our fellow citizens as if we had no empathy or human feeling left in us. The concept bothered him quite a bit, but we're expected to follow our orders to the letter and he didn't want to be seen as complaining."

Jiraiya blinked. Thought about that for a moment, then looked down at the ever so slightly trembling Naruto.

"Oh, well… disregard that," he said. "No, you wouldn't have actually killed anyone last night. As long as the old man is in charge, Konoha will never ask you to be a monster who ignores the value of human life. If you have to kill innocent people, you'll be made aware of it, why it's necessary, and generally you'll have a chance of getting the mission passed to someone else if it bothers you too much. Genin are never used for those sorts of missions."

Naruto's jaw flexed for a moment, his eyes sparkling with anger and unshed tears. "Thank you," he ground out. "Are we done here?"

Jiraiya sighed and nodded. "Yeah, you can go do whatever."

Naruto turned and stalked back up the stairs, Hinata close behind.

Sasuke gave Jiraiya an unreadable look, and after a moment, followed them as well.

"…shit," Jiraiya swore.

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"Disregard that!" Naruto snarled as he left the house, his movements stiff and jerky with rage. "Disregard that!" He changed his voice so that he sounded exactly like Jiraiya. "Disregard that, I suck cocks!"

"He was in the wrong," Hinata offered, starting to reach out and touch him, but hesitating instead and pulling her hand back.

Sasuke trailed behind them as Naruto turned away from the sun of the beach and headed for the forest.

"I know he was wrong!" Naruto snapped. "I've been chewed out before, and better. I knew I fucked up and I took my ass chewing because it was the least I deserved. And this time, I didn't deserve it, and that kinda makes me glad." He paused, then turned and slammed his fist into a nearby palm tree hard enough to split the bark and shake the crown.

An almost ripe coconut fell out, falling towards his head, but Hinata caught it without missing a beat, and casually tossed it behind her to Sasuke.

Naruto closed his eyes and let his head fall forward. "Still hurts, though. I wonder why that is."

"It's an asschewing, it's supposed to hurt."

All three of them looked up in mild surprise to see Jiraiya standing nearby.

He bowed deeply to Naruto. "For what it's worth, sorry, kid. I'm the last person who should be lecturing you about anything, given how many times I've personally failed you. But it's time to fix some of that. Follow me, Uzumaki-san. It's time, long past time, we had a talk.

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Naruto's face was an emotionless mask as he followed Jiraiya back to the house, but instead of going down to the seclusion of the basement, they both leaped onto the shallowly sloping roof, careful not to break the red tiles. Walking on tiles took a trick of only stepping on the lower edge, which was where they overlapped onto the one below them, forming a solid area. Any higher up on the tile had a wedge of unsupported surface that would break when weight was put on it.

More than a few incompetent ninja over the years had been discovered by the sound of a sliding piece of tile rattling its way down the roof.

Jiraiya took a few steps to the peak of the roof and sat down, crossing his legs under him as he stared out over the sand and ocean.

"Come on, kid, this might take a little while," he said, patting the peak of the roof next to him.

Naruto dutifully sat down on the peak a few meters away, facing the same direction.

They sat there a few minutes, listening to the gentle lapping of ocean waves and the harsh cries of the seagulls patrolling the shore for unguarded snacks and unwary crabs.

Jiraiya finally spoke.

"It's best to do things like this in the sunshine, you know. A common failing of people like me, who spend entirely too much time hidden away with unsavory knowledge." He shook his head. "First of all, I am sorry for jumping to conclusions. I could offer you some excuses, mostly that I just digested some of the memories of a very nasty man, and then read through some of his more… eh, call them 'dangerous' books. A little knowledge can hurt you, you know." He turned and gave Naruto a weak smile.

Naruto hesitated, but decided to accept the tentative peace offering for what it was.

"And a lot of it can kill, right?" He answered with his own small smile.

Jiraiya nodded seriously. "True or not… I'm not here to placate you with excuses. The fact is, we, and by that I mean all of your superiors in the know, worry about you quite a bit. We hide things from you." He chuckled. "We hide things from everyone, that's a given, and you know, sometimes that comes back to bite us in the ass. Some of this stuff you should know. You deserve to know it and make your own decisions."

"I like being able to decide things for myself," Naruto agreed cautiously, looking at Jiraiya in a whole new light.

"First… you know you're the son of the Fourth Hokage, right?" Jiraiya asked, studying Naruto's face for a reaction.

"Well obviously," Naruto replied.

"…"

"…"

"You didn't have a clue, did you?" Jiraiya finally said with a sigh.

Naruto thought about that for a moment. "I had a clue once," he admitted. "Since I looked a lot like him, but I asked Ibiki-san about it and he said that little orphan boys finding out that they're actually the son of royalty, or at least as close to royalty as Konoha has, is the kind of thing that happens in cliché stories, so I felt kind of stupid and didn't look into it anymore."

Jiraiya snickered. "The absurdity defense. If you can convince someone an idea is ridiculous, they rarely investigate further."

Naruto frowned. "It's depressing how often I get suckered, even when I know the techniques."

"Which makes me feel a lot better about telling you what we're doing to guide your development," Jiraiya said cheerfully.

Naruto's expression soured further.

"So if I'm the son of the Fourth Hokage…" Naruto began.

"You get your inheritance, such as it is, at the age of sixteen or when you become a jounin, same as everyone else. That's where your living expenses have came from all this time, actually, with a few contributions here and there. It's not a fortune, I'm sorry to say, your father didn't come from a major clan, so it's only what he earned during his lifetime," Jiraiya explained.

Naruto shook his head and made a chopping gesture with his hand. "I don't care about the money-"

"Well, there are some scrolls, but most of the techniques are either lost, or I'll teach you at some point," Jiraiya continued. "There's one really interesting one I'd like to show you, actually-"

"Stop! Stop, please," Naruto said desperately. "It's not that either. If my father was the Yondaime, who was my mother?"

Jiraiya froze, his mouth partially open, then he closed his eyes and nodded.

"I've thought a lot about how I would answer that question over the years, kid," he began quietly. "Most of the time, I decided to tell you that she died giving birth to you. Sometimes I thought maybe I'd just pretend I didn't know. Really, I hoped you'd focus more on your father. He was a hero, you know. Great leader for the village, a great student, hell, I trained him you know, just really an amazing person. A genius at a lot of things, and had a feel for people like you wouldn't believe. You remind me a lot of him, really." Jiraiya smiled and started to reach out and chuck Naruto on the shoulder, but Naruto was sitting too far away, and after an awkward pause, he withdrew his hand.

"The truth is, Naruto… Well, I don't know everything, but here's what I do know. Your mom was a refugee from a place called Whirlpool Country, this group of islands south of water, who ended up in Konoha as a little girl, when their country was destroyed. We got a lot of our water techniques from those clans, actually. They claimed they all descended from great heroes who had taken brides from the sea, though I don't know how much of that is true. Usually it's the other way around, human women are pretty much universally considered hot. And even then, I'm absolutely positive she had something else in her that had nothing at all to do with the sea." He shrugged. "I'll get to that later. Basically, after the usual shenanigans of 'I hate you I hate you I hate you kiss me', your mom was a hard core tsundere, she got pregnant with you, popped you out, and then died when the Kyubi showed up."

He paused. "I think that's a pretty close word for it. In aklo the word is *-*." The world sort of pulsed a little and Naruto got the creepiest feeling of knowledge rammed straight up his spine into his medulla, which kind of put him in mind of what it would be like to have his soul gradually digested. He paled and swayed for a moment, steadied by a hand on his shoulder from Jiraiya.

"Yeah, we'll just stick with 'died' for now. I can tell you more later, but you won't understand until after you understand more about yourself… and the Kyubi. And that's why we're here, of course. To get some answers."

He turned and looked up the beach at the various swimmers and sunbathers in sight, but Naruto couldn't tell if anything had caught his eye or if he was just lost in thought.

After a moment, Naruto prompted him. "What was her name?" he asked quietly, afraid to show too much emotion. A lot was hitting him at once.

"Same as yours. Uzumaki." He smiled just a little. "Kushina, that was her name. They kinda grew up about the same time, and she picked on him a lot for looking like a wuss, but Minato told me that all that really changed when he singlehandedly saved her from Cloud nin kidnappers who wanted to carry her back for experimentation. I think she'd always felt kind of vulnerable ever since her homeland was literally destroyed, and being kidnapped didn't help. Anyway right about the time she had you, the Kyubi woke up." He pointed at Naruto's belly. "I'll admit I'm not sure what really happened to her in there, but one thing was for sure, your dad loved her, and they both loved you. They were planning on getting married, big wedding, friends, family, making sure you grew up around the other kids…" Jiraiya shook his head. "Sorry, Naruto-kun."

"So I got stuck in an orphanage," Naruto said neutrally.

"Pretty much," Jiraiya said with a little sigh. "With both of them gone, I was supposed to take over raising you, but I couldn't just stop what I was doing, and my activities took me places that were no place for a kid. I convinced Tsunade to come back and wet nurse you for a while, there were some seal issues at first and none of the regular civilian or low ranked kunoichi would touch you since you were leaking toxic chakra, but Tsunade is the greatest medic in the world, and could handle that."

Jiraiya made a little jerky gesture with his hand. "Even with your natural mom gone, it could have been okay. Should have been okay. There was another girl… she and your dad had a thing for each other. It would have taken time, but Minato would have healed, and they would have gotten together for you as much as each other. But that cold blooded asshole wouldn't allow it. And then the Kyubi came back so soon, and your dad died sealing it…" He sighed. "Maybe, though, just maybe, he got to reunite with Kushina after all. And maybe it's for the best in the after, but in the now, you got shafted."

"Who's the cold blooded asshole?" Naruto asked. "And who was the other girl?"

Jiraiya shook his head. "Another time, kid. Not tonight." He suddenly made a violent, slashing motion. "The thing that really bothers me is that, as much as we tried to keep you obscure to protect you from the big dangers, a regular human slipped under our noses. We failed you, Naruto, and now we're trying to make it up while still giving you the training you need."

They sat there for a while longer, Jiraiya politely giving Naruto time to think about the things he'd learned.

"So why was I never told?" Naruto asked. "I can see not letting it get around to others, but I would have liked to know… I always wanted to know who my parents were."

"Enemies, kid. You showed a lot of promise, but we still couldn't tell you until we were sure you were gonna do something stupid with the information," Jiraiya answered. "Minato had enemies that would love to stick his son's head on a pike."

"Enemies? Anyone in particular?" Naruto asked with an ironic lilt. "It just seems like that's the sort of information I should have, is all."

Jiraiya chuckled. "Yeah, true enough. The people who would love to see your head on a stick are… Stone, Cloud, Sand, Mist, Grass, Rain-"

Naruto's eyes got very big and his voice got very small. "Oh."

"Star, Waterfall, Hot Springs, Mountain, Valley, Heat-"

"I think I get the idea," Naruto added.

"-Swamp, Snow… Okay. Just remember, kid, you don't get to be a hero of one place without being a villain in a bunch of others. So keep it quiet, okay? Your girlfriend's father already knows who you are, so just… just don't."

"Yes, Jiraiya-sama," Naruto agreed.

"So that's where you come from. Now let's talk about where you are."

"You mean why we pretended to be a Lightning country army and marched across the backwoods of our own?" Naruto asked.

Jiraiya furrowed his brow. "Not what I was talking about, but if you really want to know," he hesitated as Naruto nodded enthusiastically, then continued, "the specific army in question is actually on a couple of ships out that way," he made a vague wave at the ocean, "on a roundabout trip to Wind, where they're going to get out, sneak across country much as you did, and capture a mine. Then they're going to grab all the ore they can and hurry back to their ships and sneak home. Wind doesn't have any assets in place strong enough to stop them, so they'll probably get away with it."

"Ohhhhh," Naruto almost groaned, thinking furiously. "So by pretending to be that very same army, perhaps having run out of supplies on that long sailing trip from Lightning to the southern coast of Wind, we raided Fire storehouses and then disappeared at the beach, giving us a semipublic reason to know that they're out there that doesn't involve whatever spy or cracked code we actually used. Then we can either warn Wind for some good relations, or-"

"Fire can wait until they've stolen the materials they're after, capture them at sea, kill everyone who knows they didn't actually come ashore in Fire, and either keep or ransom back the goods they stole, and still get owed a favor by Wind," Jiraiya finished. "Either way, Lightning doesn't get what they want, which they'll probably use against us or Earth."

"And they picked Wind because no matter how much they piss Wind off, they're too far apart to really fight," Naruto said with a nod.

"It's simple when you know that the army is real," Jiraiya said dismissively.

"And, of course, I know none of this."

Jiraiya shrugged as if it didn't matter.

"Well, thanks for telling me," he said politely. "Not knowing what I was doing was really annoying."

"You hate being treated like a tool, huh?" Jiraiya asked.

Naruto closed his eyes for a full ten seconds before he opened them again.

"That was all deliberate, wasn't it," he said, sounding defeated.

"Of course. We're your superiors, we're supposed to fuck with you."

"I know, I know, Kakashi-sensei told us that the very first day," he replied, sounding resigned.

Jiraiya nodded cheerfully. "I'm sure you'll figure out why we're doing all this. We only have the highest of hopes for you, after all."

Naruto sighed. "Sometimes I think maybe I was on to something back in the academy. I had a lot more time to figure things out back when I was considered mediocre."

They sat there in silence for another twenty odd minutes, just sitting there, thinking. At that point, Naruto couldn't have expressed his thoughts with a kage bunshin army, much less made any more conversation with a man who claimed to be his godfather that he didn't really trust.

As always, when faced with a problem he couldn't immediately solve, he focused on the details.

"So let me get this straight," Naruto began suddenly.

Jiraiya lifted his gaze and raised an eyebrow.

"I was breastfed by Tsunade the legendary Slug Princess?"

Jiraiya nodded. "It was pretty trivial of someone with her skills to trick her body into producing milk. Considering her family history, you could call it 'milk of the goddess', heh."

Naruto grinned. "That's pretty awesome. Sasuke would be so jealous. I mean, she's got really amazing breasts."

"Oh, you better believe it, kid. They're one of the truly great wonders of the world."

Jiraiya smiled, and the two of them sat there for a time, thinking of happier, breast filled memories.

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Sasuke didn't have much interest in women, and less still in girls. He wasn't gay, either. All he saw when he looked at another male was a potential opponent, not a sex object. Sometimes, ever so slightly, he would admit to himself that his recent focus on breasts was just to reassure everyone around him, and possibly himself, that yes, he did think about sex, specifically sex with females. Just not finding love with them. Really, given the way girls and even women had thrown themselves at him, attempting to win his affection like assaulting a fort, he sometimes wondered if attempting to find some sort of actual relationship would ever be worth his time.

Probably not.

But, failing finding love somewhere, he supposed that he could always hope to find a girl like Hinata.

Not Hinata herself, mind you, oh HELL no. That girl was more unhinged than a shutter in a hurricane.

But a girl like Hinata, that wouldn't be too bad. Wealthy family, decent looks, and, in Sasuke's entirely skewed number one priority, quiet.

In the academy, she'd been a quiet, shy girl who never said much because she didn't know what to say and was embarrassed by it. Generally, for anyone to overcome shyness, they needed to learn the appropriate social interactions and stop being afraid to use them.

Hinata though… she'd gone the opposite route. As she once admitted, she still didn't really know what to say, but she no longer cared. So, when she didn't have anything to say, she stopped being embarrassed by it and simply didn't say anything at all.

So maybe he couldn't banter with her unless Naruto was there to provide some common ground. That was fine, Naruto was obviously some sort of rare creature. When Jiraiya called Naruto away to attempt to patch up damaged relations, Hinata lingered near the house, clearly waiting for Naruto to come back.

Sasuke shrugged and headed for the beach.

He was tired, of course. They all were. But one active night without sleep was so common, so trivial compared to the things they'd been doing that it didn't even register. If he got an opportunity for a nap he'd take it, but in unfamiliar territory and with everything so keyed up, he didn't even try.

He'd never been to the beach before, so it was at least mildly interesting. Bikini clad girls here and there made it aesthetically pleasing, and the moist salt air was pleasant.

He ducked and rolled, instincts honed fine screaming at him as he did so.

A seagull wheeled, screeching its raucous cry as it missed a dive-bomb on his head.

His eyes narrowed.

Fucking birds.

Then his eyes widened.

He'd always known that seagulls lived near the ocean, but he'd never really thought about how many could be in a given area. Or how attracted they were to one area when they saw one of their fellows dive out of the sky in a purposeful manner.

More than thirty seagulls wheeled in the air above him, with scores landing on the sand nearby and hopping around randomly. All of them had one curious eye cocked in his direction.

Sasuke's sharingan begin to spin faster in anticipation.

This wasn't a ninja battle. This was a crude, primitive challenge.

"Bring it," he hissed, and the struggle began.

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Hinata didn't like Jiraiya. She respected his power, even feared it. No one else had ever made Naruto so cautious. But she didn't like him. And since he'd upset Naruto, she had made a little mental promise to herself to never forget. But a minor vendetta against a power such as a Sannin was something best put aside. Besides, he was one of a very small group of people able to help her, and with his notoriously lecherous nature, probably the only one who would do it cheaply.

Ever since they hit the beach, Hinata had been thinking about her body. She'd discarded useless hindrances like modesty and vanity, but she still felt a keen dissatisfaction about the scars which covered her body. Naruto told her they were beautiful, and that was sweet, and perhaps he did like the aesthetics. She didn't want to get rid of the scars, exactly.

She just wished they weren't made with the intent to please the seven tailed beast.

And since Jiraiya was an expert on seals, she resolved to ask him about a few modifications if she got the chance, preferably before she ended up in a bikini.

Hinata's reflexes were a little different from the norm. Where another ninja's head might have snapped around at the sudden roar and chakra pulse of a big technique going off, Hinata didn't move at all, physically.

Her byakugan lashed out in less than a moment, however, and she stared uncomprehending for a full five seconds before she let the technique fade.

It was with calm steps that she walked down the beach to find Sasuke and the trouble he'd gotten himself into.

Naruto and Jiraiya both landed on opposite sides of her, taking her lack of concern as a sign that everything was well, but still curious enough to go see what had happened.

Just around a slight bend formed by the shoreline, and hidden by a thin screen of tropical trees, they found Sasuke standing in the middle of several dozen black, smoldering lumps. Of course, they smelled it first, even the ocean breeze no match for the fearsome stink of burned feathers.

Sasuke twirled a grey wing feather between his fingers and looked around cheerfully, admiring his handiwork. He noticed their arrival and waved.

Naruto raised one eyebrow.

"They weren't ninja seagulls, as it turns out," Sasuke commented idly.

Naruto started laughing, Hinata giggled a few times, and even Jiraiya smiled, though it was a confused, tolerant sort, as he hadn't been around enough to understand the humor.

"I swear, Sasuke," Naruto said as his chuckles subsided, "birds are really developing an attraction to you lately. Pretty soon you're gonna be killing every bird in sight, and you're gonna develop some sort of comedically tragic phobia of all things avian."

Sasuke thought about that for a second. Rubbed his head. Looked at Naruto.

Naruto's chuckles died as he waited for Sasuke to respond.

"My hair is a bird. Your argument is invalid," Sasuke said calmly, and walked away.

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"Jiraiya-sama?" Hinata asked quietly.

He raised one eyebrow at her. He'd been waiting for her to approach him.

However, his eyebrow raised a lot higher when, instead of remonstrating with him for his earlier treatment of Naruto, or asking for instructions during a contengiency, or any of a dozen different things he thought she would like to know…

She disrobed and stood naked before him with an entirely different request.

It was yet another in a long line of things he rather wished he hadn't agreed to, but he always did have trouble saying no to a naked girl.

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"Oh my! I'm terribly sorry for interrupting!" Wu Huan cried upon seeing Hinata stretched out, face down and naked, on a table in the middle of Nishi's study room. He'd covered the worn worktable with a threadbare but servicable sheet, and the edge of the table was lined with a half dozen bowls of strange unguents and blood.

"Hey, Hina-whoa. Uh, is this okay with Naruto?" Sasuke asked, having followed the woman in a few steps behind.

Jiraiya was in a particularly delicate bit of the proceedure and wasn't able to look away, so he simply ignored them both as he carefully sliced away scarred skin and subcutaneous fat within the boundaries of a seal array. Almost instantly, especially since she had Kyubi chakra running through her that was being guided by the seals, the skin grew back healthy and without a trace of scarring.

"Jiraiya-sama is merely removing the references to the seven tails," Hinata answered quietly, being careful not to move and disturb the Sannin's work. She endured the careful skinning with the same stoic determination that had seen her through it the first time.

"So he's gonna flay you and get rid of all the scars?" Sasuke asked, moving aside so that Wu Huan could leave. Other than the initial surprise that she was naked around a legendary pervert, he was unmoved by her state of undress. All he could see was the curve of her ass, anyway.

"Just the runes of the seven tails. I've asked him to put Naruto's name in it's place."

"Huh," Sasuke noted. "Well, I guess it's just like getting your boyfriend's name tattooed on you, only with more overt insanity. Anyway, Naruto and I were talking about supper, and we don't want to impose on our hosts too much. Naruto and I are going into town for supplies and we're gonna do a beach cookout tonight. You want anything?"

"Fresh crab, please," she replied promptly.

"And tuna liver," Jiraiya added. "She'll need the iron. And get Anko whatever she wants."

Sasuke bowed. "Yes, Jiraiya-sama."

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"I want zombie minions one day," Naruto muttered quietly to Sasuke as the two of them raided the house for chairs and tables.

Nishi hadn't don't anything but lurk in the lab below the house or occasionally hang around Jiraiya and agree to his carefully worded requests, but there was a sense of anticipation about the dead man, like the very act of being ordered about was the same as being felt up by your personal god.

"Why would you want zombie minions?" Sasuke asked, honestly curious. "You do everything yourself anyway, with clones." Naruto wasn't at the moment, but that was just to keep Wu Huan from freaking out. If she was capable of freaking out. There didn't seem to be a lot of freak out left in the woman, to be honest. She'd seemed more embarrassed at having intruded on a ceremony than disturbed by Jiraiya slicing off strips of Hinata's skin.

"Because they're cool," Naruto replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Look at Jiriaya. Look at the power and respect he wields. Are you telling me you're not even more impressed by him now that you've seen him ressurrect an enemy as a zombie slave and digest the knowledge in his mind?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Honestly? Not really."

Naruto shook his head as they hauled firewood out of the forest and stacked it up near their designated firepit. "You are so damned hard to please. Is that an Uchiha thing or are you just a priss?"

Anko grunted some sort of acknowledgement of calling the Uchiha a priss from her stolen beach chair set to one side of their designated party area. They'd brought back a fresh bottle of sake, bought under henge, and several boxes of dango, which they'd used to keep her quiet while the two of them simply picked up her lounge chair and brought it with them.

"I never said I wasn't impressed. I just said that the zombie thing isn't to my taste. I would not willingly eat someone's knowledge like that. There are sharingan techniques that are able to do the same thing with genjutsu, if I am ever afforded the chance to learn them."

Naruto quirked his mouth. "Figures." Then he chuckled. "I dunno, it might actually be better to eat it. I mean, I pretended to be such an idiot back in the academy, it'd be a great way of explaining my knowledge now. Everything I know I learned by killing smart people and eating their brains!"

Sasuke smirked. "If they let you kill them and eat their brains, they clearly weren't very smart."

"Nah, nah," Naruto said, waving his hand dismissively as they went back into the house for the food supplies. "You just gotta have an angle. Like, look at Sakura. I bet you a coke that if you went up to her and said, 'Hey, I'll go on another date with you if you let me eat your brains,' she'd tell you to pick her up at six."

Sasuke looked outraged. "What is wrong with you, Naruto?" he snapped, then suddenly smirked. "Have you seen the size of that forehead? I'd get full long before I finished off the contents of _that_ head."

Naruto burst into full laughter. "Oh man, that's just mean."

Sasuke snickered. "And besides, I think you'd probably get a two for one deal on that one. Sakura is crazy as hell." They gathered up the paper sacks full of groceries and headed for the beach.

Naruto nodded, this time soberly. "Yeah, you're probably right."

They worked in companionable silence for a while, then Sasuke spoke up again.

"You know whose brains I'd eat?"

Naruto raised one eyebrow.

"I'd eat Shikamaru's. Smart, but not as crazy as Sakura, and too lazy to try and get away."

"Niiice," Naruto agreed. "But what about Chouji? You know they've bound to have some sort of deal worked out where Chouji is the only person who gets to eat Shikamaru. And I am so totally not going toe to toe with Chouji in an eating match."

Sasuke had to allow Naruto the point.

"I mean, hell, if we'd had him out on the farm, we could probably just have given him a shovel, pointed him at the shoggoth, and told him it was natto. I'd put money on that."

"I'd pay money to see that," Sasuke admitted.

There was a pause.

"No, no, no I wouldn't," he said, changing his mind after a moment's thought. "In fact, I think I'd pay rather a lot of money right now just to have the mental images that created removed from my head."

"Ah," Naruto said with an understanding wince.

There was another pause.

"Is Chouji winning?" he asked.

"Actually, no. It's a fucking shoggoth."

"Point."

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"Okay, Naruto, you can see me now," Hinata called as she heard Naruto and Sasuke come back in.

Naruto immediately went to the room she and Jiraiya had been holed up in to find her sitting upright on the edge of the table, still naked, and wiping blood off with a stained towel. Despite the blood, though, she didn't have any wounds. Jiraiya was no medic but he could hum the tune a bit, and simple skin healing was well within his experience.

Sasuke followed, since he was curious, and they'd pretty much given up on body modesty anyway. He was the first to speak.

"You seriously look like you're now pledged as some sort of sacrifice to ramen," he noted. "Maybe you should have added 'Uzumaki' to it."

In place of the eldritch rune that had symbolized the seven tailed beast, instead of the nine lined rune for the Kyubi, Naruto's first name had been put in its place, which had no special meaning in seal runes, and further invalidated the spell script that had been carved into her skin. The contract she'd accepted from Naruto and the Kyubi had already rendered it inert, but now it was well and truly defaced.

"Shut up, Sasuke," Hinata snapped.

Sasuke's eyes widened. "Ohho! So I've finally found something you're self-conscious about!"

Hinata glared.

Naruto stepped forward and hugged her. "I think it's wonderful. Definitely better than being pledged to the bear. You're my beautiful eldritch queen." He paused. "Or priestess?" Naruto glanced at Jiraiya.

Jiraiya shrugged. "Your name doesn't have power all on its own, so I'd say she was your girlfriend."

"I do like the title of queen," Hinata noted, "but one on the team is enough."

Sasuke smirked to show he wasn't impressed. He'd scored a hit with the ramen comment and he knew it.

"I think we should hit the beach, then, if nothing else is going on?" Naruto asked. "A swim would probably make you feel better." He paused. "Hell, I bet it'd be good for all of us. Sasuke?"

"We have no swimsuits and I do not particularly feel like getting my clothes soaked in salt water," Sasuke noted.

"I bet Wu Huan has something," Naruto said dismissively. "Shorts at least. I'll check, and if nothing else I'll run back to the town and pick up something for Hinata."

It turned out that Wu Huan had a fair number of odd clothes stashed away that none of the inhabitants of the house ever wore but she hadn't gotten rid of either. Hinata, wrapped in a borrowed robe, and Naruto and Sasuke soon found themselves in one of the outbuildings that made up the other side of the central garden of the house. It was quite securely locked, in fact, it required a carved stone rod like that the servant had carried to open the door.

Inside were the odds and ends of a few decades of living. Dusty wall scrolls and tapestries that the feng shui of the house no longer required, worn furniture stacked in a corner, and various locked chests full of odds and ends and, of course, clothing.

It didn't take Naruto long at all to find a pair of eyesearingly bright shorts that fit him, and Sasuke just grabbed the first pair that fit that didn't actually offend his sensibilities. Hinata took longer. There weren't that many bikinis, really, and even though string bikinis could fit a variety of body shapes by adjusting the ties, Hinata was a Hyuga and already a bit more gifted than the average girl. It wasn't the area covered that mattered, it was the support.

There were a lot of clothes that obviously had never belonged to any of the people who lived in the house, and that was mostly what they were going through. Dead people's clothes, people who had been lured in to what they thought was a nice bed and breakfast on the beach and picked off a few at a time over the years to fuel nightmarish rituals.

However, it was actually something Wu Huan had once worn that caught Sasuke's ever recording sharingan as the girls rooted through stacks of clothing and the boys kept guard, or whatever it was called when Naruto was required to give his opinion on something Hinata was looking at and Sasuke hung around because he wasn't sure what else to do.

Sasuke halted the proceedings with a silent hand on Hinata's shoulder, and she backed away and to the side to let him past. Wu Huan gave him a questioning look, then ahhed as he counted down four folded items and drew out another bikini that Wu Huan hadn't offered for Hinata to try on.

At first, his mind didn't want to process it. He knew what he'd seen, but it bypassed his conscious mind. It was a two piece bikini, though a relatively generous cut, you could say. The odd things started with its eerily flesh toned color, apparently the maker had decided to go for some sort of scandalous 'nude look' complete with nipples on the front of the bra. Nipples that poked out a bit, instead of being painted on the material. And the bikini bottom was sort of crotchless, and sort of not. And it had pubic hair attached.

Distantly, Sasuke was aware someone was screaming. He was hanging in a metal cage, watching Jiraiya cut strips of skin off Hinata. He was watching an old priest kill Naruto. Naruto was dead and drained out in a corner. Hinata was dying. A formless mass of horror lurked in the corner. Distantly, he was aware that he was covered in blood. His hands hurt from being clenched. He was kneeling on the smashed splinters of Wu Huan's spine, tearing out her ribs and jamming them into the wooden floor where her head used to be. Furniture and chests had been broken in the struggle. The organs that should have been where his knees where were pretty much scattered about as chunky salsa.

He retched, vomit splattering the mutilated corpse beneath him. He couldn't stand it, this foul place. He had to get out, he had to clean it up. Chakra came to him in a rush, seals flying, and flame blew from his lips, but the flesh was too close, steam and burnt meat enveloping him, the horror too fresh, and he retched again, performing the first flaming vomit jutsu in the history of the Uchiha.

Hands, friendly hands, grabbed his shoulders and pulled his suddenly weak body out of the building and away from the fire, which was quickly spreading through the dusty old furniture and clothes. Sasuke found himself on the beach, watching black, pungent smoke billow out from under the eaves of the outbuilding, and soon flames were leaping up in the evening air, tiles breaking and shattering in the heat. He was limp as an overdone noodle, propped up entirely by Naruto's arm around his chest as he, Sasuke, and Hinata stood on the beach and watched flames eat into the side of the compound.

Naruto turned to Sasuke. "This is why we can't have nice things."

Sasuke shuddered and turned away. "Sorry, I didn't mean to… it's just when I saw the human skin bikini it all hit me at once. I don't know what came over me."

"It's called humanity, kid. I won't say I'm entirely happy with the way you displayed it, we do need that house tomorrow, but I know what you're feeling. It means you're not too far gone." Jiraiya gave Sasuke a fatherly smile and a gentle pat on the shoulder, then jumped to the side and performed a suiton jutsu that pulled a long, but slow spike of water out of the ocean and doused the fire before it could spread around the walls and reach the main house.

Naruto, thinking ahead, used a large area genjutsu they'd stolen from the ANBU library to gently discourage other people from coming to help. Ideally, Sasuke would have done it, since he had far more talent for genjutsu than Naruto, but he wasn't really up to it at the moment.

Soon pesky outsiders were warded away and the fire was reduced to drenched, steaming charcoal and shattered tiles and bricks.

Hinata put down her long stick, tipped with impaled marshmallows, and pouted dramatically.

The laugh she got from Sasuke went a long way to making him feel better.

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Authors Lie: Maybe I'll work more on Ask Me next, or more on this. Not really feeling it for Anything and Everything or If Only, and I think I'm gonna take Ignorance is Bliss down fairly soon for personal reasons. I'd take High Maintenance down because it's definitely not getting worked on anytime soon and it's so short, but I guess it does show the potential the genre has. And, of course, the novel project is on hold because I suck. But hey. I said People Lie wasn't dead. I have an honest, open face. You were supposed to believe me.


	34. Lies Made From Light and Fire: ninetails

"Just so we're on the same page here, I'm not asking for information unless you see fit to share it, but I would like to express my concern for Anko. She was sort of a big sister to me, growing up I mean," Naruto explained to Jiraiya as they watched Anko go through a couple hours of preparation for the ritual Jiraiya had brought them all there for.

"That's good," Jiraiya said approvingly. "I've always liked Anko. You know she was pretty much your father's counterpart. I had Minato and my teammate Orochimaru had her. She's was a good four years or so the younger, but they were friends when circumstances allowed it."

"Does she know? About me, I mean."

Jiraiya nodded. "Hell, kid, she was there for more of it than I was."

Naruto thought about that for a moment. "So why is she only a special jounin? I mean, my dad made Hokage. I'd have thought she'd be at least elite jounin, since she was trained by one of the Sannin."

"Heh, nice to see you have some respect. And don't misjudge her, Anko is a lot more dangerous than her official rank indicates. But she's crippled compared to what she should be. Hell, she might have surpassed your father, Orochimaru always bragged that she had more latent potential. Unfortunately, instead of caring for her like he should have, he used her up and threw her away." Jiraiya scratched his chin thoughtfully.

Naruto glanced at him, clearly expecting him to add something.

"I want you to remember this, kid. Anko loved Orochimaru like Hinata loves you. In other words, way too much for it to be healthy. Having someone who trusts and, hell, basically worships you like that, it's a powerful thing, and it's really easy to stop thinking of them as a person and start seeing them as a thing you own. Orochimaru was a lot like you, kid. Too smart by half, cynical, paranoid, and ambitious. And he hurt a lot of people following his goals, and none more than Anko. Remember that when your superiors start mind gaming you. We don't want to see another Orochimaru, especially not one that leaves another broken girl behind like Anko. Treat your friends right, and above all else in your dealings with Orochimaru, remember that he treated his wrong."

"He's gonna mess with me, I figured that much is a given," Naruto admitted.

Jiraiya shrugged. "If you're lucky, he'll barely notice you. It's Anko and I he'll be focusing on."

Naruto didn't say anything, choosing instead to watch Anko finish her sobering up routines. Jiraiya wasn't sure if that boded good or evil.

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The sky was black and dappled with stars by the time both Anko and Jiraiya were ready. The basement, already prepared and inlaid with seals and spells to contain and control summoned beings, fairly hummed with the power Jiraiya had pumped into it.

Anko stood in the middle of a large seal array, one which, rather conspicuously, did not feature the elder sign either as a star with a flame or as a branch. A mixture of large, bold symbols made the border, each one linked by smaller, delicate traceries of runes none of them had ever seen before in seal script. The center was about four feet across and clear of seals, clearly it was meant to contain something within. The ceiling had its own set of seals, though instead of an open spot in the middle, more seal script filled it.

Jiraiya had spent most of the morning working on it with inks and blood from all five of them present and strange pigments produced from a multitude of clay pots he produced from sealed scrolls before finally putting his tools away with an air of satisfaction.

"You turn yourself into an outsider, you have to play by outsider rules," he said with smug satisfaction.

Now Anko, her expression bleak and hopeless, obediently took up position in the center of the array.

"Sorry, Anko," Jiraiya apologized one last time.

"Yeah, well…" She sighed. "Yeah."

Then she began, drawing a drop of blood from one calloused finger on an eyetooth filed sharp for the purpose long ago, and moving through a set of hand seals familiar to Team Lie, for it differed in only two places from the sequence they'd copied from Kakashi. Finally she slammed her hand to the ground, the chakra and blood sacrifice offered to the technique manifesting in seal script that radiated out from her hand a short distance, then seemed to ripple and explode in the not quite smoke of space being twisted for a summoning.

"That's interesting looking," Hinata commented.

Suddenly a snake appeared, coiled around Anko's body. It was a big snake, at least by conventional standards, probably around fifteen feet long but thick bodied, with scales so pale and white that they seemed almost pearlescent in the flickering candlelight that lit the summoning room.

The reptilian head, clearly snakey but with features that spoke of something else, twined around and came to a rest above Anko, facing them.

"Hi, Orochimaru. Destroyed any hopes and dreams lately?" Jiraiya asked.

"ssNot assss many assss you'd ssthink," the snake hissed with a raspy voice, as though from disuse. "Jirraiiiyaaa. sssSexed up any hot Yama-uba latelysss?"

Jiraiya looked like he'd bitten into an especially bitter prune. "You really are never going to let me forget that, are you?"

The white snake that was apparently Orochimaru laughed with a deep, hissing sound. "Not even when the stars gutter and die and the world is a barren rock."

"It was only the one time," Jiraiya muttered defensively.

Yama-uba, or mountain crones, were sorcerous old women who tended to live far from other people, usually in remote mountains. They could shapeshift to varying degrees, and cropped up in stories ranging from raising orphans, getting travelers lost, seducing strangers, and bargaining away tidbits of their occult knowledge. They were also known to be peoplenivorous.

Orochimaru laughed again, a harsh, rhythmic hiss, and coiled his body around Anko. "Ssso, why have you called me this time?" the snake asked. "I see you have taken some precautionss." The voice was getting smoother, dropping the pronounced hiss.

"Well, after you tried to kill me last time, it seemed prudent."

"I only wanted a finger," Orochimaru replied, humping up the section a few feet behind his head in a snake equivalent of a shrug. "You didn't have to be so hossstile about it." He flicked his tongue at his old friend.

Jiraiya slowly and deliberately flipped Orochimaru the bird, to more snake laughter.

"Oh god, this is us seventy years from now," Naruto said with a sigh, glancing at Sasuke.

"Hey! How old do you think I am, brat?" Jiraiya growled, turning to the boy.

"I will not turn into a snake," Sasuke replied seriously. "It never helps."

Orochimaru, as he felt befitted a basically unknowable being from beyond, ignored the byplay, choosing instead to coil his body back and forth around Anko's in a sinuous dance, his forked tongue stopping just short of flicking her ear as he whispered secrets to her.

While Naruto and Sasuke went about their little routine to assess the reactions from Orochimaru, Hinata was simply watching him with all the intensity of her abyssal eyes.

Beyond its outer appearance, the snake was actually much like Jiraiya, but thinner in one way and thicker in another. It had strange seals apparently embedded in its soul, like Jiraiya, and various other strange energies swirling around it, but it also had a link stretching away from it, through other dimensions, to whatever realm Orochimaru had been summoned from.

The changes in Anko were also noteworthy. Her chakra had spiked alarmingly, tripling in that instant of summon, and changing color from its normal dingy blue-purple to a rich blue that seemed incredibly potent. Her eyes lit up with life, a sharp contrast to the depressed air of resignation she'd had before the summoning, and she both stood straighter and seemed to lean into the touch whenever Orochimaru's snake body brushed along hers. And deeper than that, burning in ways chakra only hinted at, Anko's very spirit seemed larger, more complete.

Interesting. And worrisome.

"Naruto," she said softly, putting no particular stress on the sound.

"Ah, yes, yes, no being childish in front of the Sannin. Sorry, Hinata," Naruto said in a mixture of cheerful acceptance and abashed contriteness as he redirected his attention to Anko and Orochimaru.

"The Kyubi avatar, Uchiha Itachi's pathetic little brother, now blessed with a generous dose of power, and a corrupted Hyuga princess." Orochimaru paused, staring at Hinata, who stared back at all nine dimensions of him. "Make that a thoroughly corrupted Hyuga whore. Just couldn't wait to enjoy the perks of godhood, huh little jinchuriki?"

"Actually, Sasuke is his lover. I'm just going to be the mother of their gay baby," Hinata replied without a trace of inflection.

Orochimaru reared back in surprise.

"I'm not sure I like the term 'gay baby'. That makes it sound like the baby is gay," Sasuke complained, delighted at seeing Hinata blindside the snake. He already hated him for the comment about his brother.

"We are not doing the gay baby routine for the littlest snake god," Naruto said, chastising them both. "That's for friends only."

"Okay," Hinata and Sasuke said in unison.

Jiraiya smothered a grin by putting his hand over his mouth.

Orochimaru flicked his tongue at them in a speculative sort of way, then drew up about five feet of his head and neck and began twisting back and forth in the air, looking at the trio of genin from a variety of angles. His sinuous dance was oddly hypnotic, Naruto thought, almost as if he were…

Hinata and Sasuke both pinched him, hard, from opposite sides and brought him back to himself.

"Hey, now, none of that or I'll banish you again," Jiraiya warned.

"Ssss," Orochimaru said neutrally.

"They're the reason I brought you here, if you haven't guessed already," Jiraiya continued. "Naruto has created a blood contract between himself and the two of them, and it's letting the Kyubi's chakra leak back and forth. That's worrisome enough, but it's also influencing their minds and actions. We're worried that it's weakening the seal, or trying to take over."

"Sss, Spring is here, Summer comes once more," Orochimaru said idly, his tongue flicking. "The stars are nearly right, their poison fades."

"Should we capture the stars, then?" Jiraiya asked.

Orochimaru jerked as if slapped. There was a long, tense moment as the ascended snake and the indolent toad stared at each other, slit pupils opened wide staring at Jiraiya's cool but interested expression.

Finally, Orochimaru began to laugh. "Ku ku ku ku, yessss! That's it entirely! Capture the starssss! Ku ku ku ku. We were ninja once, yesss, and a ninja knows how to take down a stronger opponent. Distill their essence, refine it into a poison of the most frightful potency, yessss, that is the way. Thank you, Jiraiya, in my time in the Out, I had quiet nearly forgotten the lessons I learned from Sensei. Just because the biju have always been does not mean they must always be. How wonderful to be human." The snake seemed unaware of the hypocrisy in the words, or perhaps it wasn't speaking of itself. "Oh yesss, capture the stars, ku ku ku ku. Kill the sleeper before it wakes, and Summer could be peaceful indeed."

"I don't want to kill him," Jiraiya said patiently. "I want to make sure the Kyubi doesn't slip its chains."

Orochimaru twisted around himself, then lunged forward a foot, making all three of the genin flinch. This was, after all, one of the most powerful things they had ever seen.

"A red string does not a chain make," Orochimaru replied coldly. "Sensei believes that bonds of love and trust will bind him to Konoha. Perhaps it could have been enough once, if the biju are capable of love in addition to… lust," he finished with distaste. "Certainly it prevents you from doing the logical thing and killing it. See a little too much of his father in him, hmm? Certainly it is no secret why Anko-chan was drawn to the boy. Perhaps I was too hasty in not letting her breed with your student. Such a child could have been interesting."

Naruto's breath hissed inward as a few things Jiraiya had said clicked into place, and he stared at the woman who could have been his mother with new eyes.

Anko was oblivious, lost in the bliss of reunion with her god and master.

"You son of a bitch," he whispered.

Orochimaru laughed. "Ku ku, oh, so it was a secret? My bad."

Jiraiya shot his ex-teammate a dirty look.

"Love will not save your precious village. I don't know if it can love, but I know it can hate, and it was born in hatred," Orochimaru continued. "It wasn't hatred that drove me to join the Akatsuki cult, simply a desire for knowledge and power, but it was hate that drove Tobi, the leader, to wake the Kyubi early and cause it to rampage through Konoha destroying all in its path. And it is hate that drives his few remaining loyalists to continue their rituals of worship." He dipped his head down to the ground, slithered in a circle, testing the boundaries of the seal array, then shot his head back up to human height and looked at them again.

"Oh yes, I see it dawning in you now. You assumed that the Nine, or however many he's found, were the ones to stir the Kyubi and cause whatever it was that scared you bad enough to call on me. Ku ku ku, ku ku ku. They call upon the Kyubi now, and have even summoned it to their temple, right out from under your nose."

"Ia, Ia, Kyubi f'taghn," Naruto whispered in dawning horror.

"Some bad dreams there, little godling?" Orochimaru asked in a hissing parody of concern. "Ku ku ku ku."

"Oh, shit," Sasuke said, not because he actually understood, it just seemed like an appropriate time to curse.

"Can we stop them?" Jiraiya asked, cutting right to the point.

"Perhaps. The new Akatsuki would even help you. They desire to see only one god on this world, and it is not the Kyubi as Tobi and his Akatsuki wish. Carry the stars to them, they will welcome you with open arms. But beware, the Kyubi will not tolerate attacks on its worshippers, not this early, when it needs them. You will be forced to chose which of your students you wish to die."

"Not it," Sasuke piped up.

"Ku ku ku ku! Such a mouth on the littlest Uchiha. Fascinating that the Uchiha and the Kyubi are so closely linked. All three of them vying for right hand? Oh my."

"What."

"Not now, kid," Jiraiya said.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT! Are you seriously fucking telling me that that piece of shit Itachi is a member of this Akatsuki? I'm going to kill his ass!" And then Sasuke's explosive rant got really foul, only to be cut off when Naruto put his hand on Sasuke's shoulder.

Sasuke regained control of himself, but with visible effort, his whole body trembling.

"Would you like to know more?" Orochimaru crooned.

"Go eat a bucket of dicks," Sasuke snapped back, well aware that Orochimaru would only torment him now, not give him useful information.

"Can the summoning be blocked? Or their connection?" Jiraiya pressed, ignoring the genin.

Orochimaru paused for a moment, considering it, or possibly trying to come to term with the mental images that Sasuke's insult brought to mind. "The Elder sign would do it, but only from their end. Anything more direct would cause the Kyubi to react. It needs worshippers to wake, you see. Its sleep is the sleep of the dead. It will no more allow itself to be cut off from the worshippers that give it power than they will allow it to be cut off from them. Tell me, has ordering the children to stop calling on it worked in the slightest?"

"…no," Jiraiya admitted grudgingly.

"Ku ku ku. You see, anyone can be a god if they have enough worshippers." Orochimaru twined around Anko once more, and let his tongue flick along her face as her eyes closed in ecstasy. "But some people only need one, if they _believe_ enough…"

"You stole part of her soul," Naruto said, finally understanding the nature of the bond. "And then you threw her away."

"She gave it to me willingly," the snake replied casually as Anko shuddered in his coils.

"You broke the deal," Naruto said again, his voice rising in volume and deepening in pitch. "You threw her away when she gave you everything. You evil son of a bitch, you broke the deal!"

"I didn't need her anymore." The snake stared back, unblinking.

"You don't break the deal!" Naruto roared in purely human outrage.

"I already did," Orochimaru replied. "And you will, too. You will suck your little black eyed whore dry and cast the shell aside, just like you will all of the others. Because it's what they're there for, it's why they offer themselves to us, it's our nature as gods."

Naruto was shaking his head back and forth furiously. "No, no, no! I will never do that to them!"

"Oh, but you will. It's as inevitable as the coming of Summer. The Kyubi will eat its followers this time just as it has every time before." Orochimaru seemed profoundly pleased by this.

"Anko let you break her," Hinata said quietly, her face tilted down in thought. "And you did it. But my love for Naruto is stronger than her love for you." She looked up suddenly, her black eyes encompassing his entire being. "I won't let him break me. Because Naruto would never truly love a girl who would let anyone, even him, break her."

"You lie, little girl. You wish it were true, but you've already let him break you in so many delicious ways. You're half empty already, and no matter how deeply you drink of him you will never feel full, you will only lose more and more of yourself…" He started laughing again.

Hinata opened her mouth to speak, but Sasuke cut her off with a touch.

"Don't bother, Hinata. He's just fucking with us. We've gotten all we need, and no good can come of staying." Sasuke turned to Jiraiya. "Jiraiya-sama? I'm taking my team out of here."

Jiraiya shook himself out of deep thought, considered it a moment, then nodded. "You're right. This is all we can reasonably expect to get out of him without major problems." He turned to his onetime friend. "Bye, Orochimaru. Don't let reality hit you in the ass on the way Out."

The snake hissed in sudden alarm and anger, but Jiraiya pressed his hands to the edge of the seal and made him go away.

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"Sooo… on a scale of one to ten, I'd say we've got problems," Sasuke noted. "But at least I have an idea of where my brother is. And another Uchiha. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that."

Anko screamed incoherently from the basement down below, then trailed off into broken sobs. There was a loud thump.

"I wonder why your brother left you and this other Uchiha alive. I suppose he might be more powerful. The snake did say that all three of you were trying to be the closest to Naruto, and since this Tobi person is the leader of the cult…"

"Tobi, huh? I've never heard of a Tobi Uchiha." Sasuke thought about it for a while, which was kinda hard since Anko kept alternately screaming and crying. It wasn't that he didn't care, it was that he had no idea what to do. Presumably, Jiraiya was handling it.

Naruto was sitting on the couch in the living room, looking pretty upset and flinching at the screams. He seemed lost and horrified. Hinata sat beside him holding his hand, but it didn't seem to be helping.

"Hey, I just realized. I have what this Tobi and my brother seem to want. I'm obviously closer to Naruto than either of them. Hell yeah, fuck you, Itachi." Sasuke cheered himself up considerably with that thought.

"Yeah, and presumably Itachi killed your whole family to try and appease the Kyubi. He's gonna feel so stupid," Hinata agreed.

Sasuke stared at her in shock.

Hinata paused. "Oh, that wasn't something you needed to hear, huh?"

"What the shit…" Sasuke began. "He said it was to test his new power, I thought he was just crazy…" He paused. "To appease the Kyubi…!" His expression darkened as he turned his glare on Naruto.

Naruto visibly flinched. "But… hey! I didn't know!" he protested. "I never asked for that! I would never!"

"It's just a thought," Hinata added hastily. "We don't know that's why he did it."

"Then why did you say it?" Sasuke asked, his voice low and dangerous.

Hinata didn't answer.

"Un huh. Because it's a logical assumption." Killing intent flowed off of the dark haired boy, and he suddenly turned and left.

Hinata watched him go, then turned to Naruto. "There goes the father of our gay baby."

"Hinata?"

"Yes?"

"Shut the fuck up."

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It was a cold and miserable night for the five unwelcome guests of the house.

Sasuke found himself questioning his loyalties, since the biggest trauma of his life seemed to have been caused by Naruto, or at least the Kyubi. He spent the rest of the night wandering the beaches, killing anything that crossed his path, which only amounted to a few dozen scuttling crabs his sharingan picked out in the darkness.

Hinata made herself scarce after Naruto snapped at her, and wound up sitting on the peak of the roof, her sight tenketsu sealed, yet still unable to stop seeing through her hitai-ate, which grew moist as she cried silently.

Naruto sat up against the head of the bed in their guest room, wishing Hinata would join him, wishing he hadn't snapped at her, wishing he knew how to deal with Sasuke, wishing he had the guts to get up and do any of it.

Anko screamed and threw up and cried and screamed and begged and pleaded and would have killed herself in her pain and loss, as the bliss she had felt from being reunited with her one love and the missing piece of her soul only made the separation seem even more fresh and intense.

Jiraiya stayed with her, not leaving her side for an instant, and worked soothing chakra massages and tailored seals into her to try to relieve the worst of it, and cleaned up puke and snot and tears besides. He'd known what he asked of her, knew it had been necessary, since Orochimaru had given him information he'd never have gotten otherwise, and he knew he was still at fault for making her do it. Jiraiya was willing to face the consequences of his actions, even as he knew that the evil Orochimaru had done to the girl was so vast he'd managed to get some on himself.

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It was several hours after sunrise before Jiraiya was confident enough in Anko being well and truly asleep to stop his vigil long enough to check on the kids.

They were nowhere to be seen, which wasn't completely unexpected, but when he found Naruto sitting up, alone in the bedroom, looking quite thoroughly lost, lonely, and dejected, he realized that Anko wasn't the only one he needed to take care of after the chat with Orochimaru.

Naruto looked up at him. "Jiraiya-sama?" he asked.

Jiraiya sighed. This wouldn't be good. "Yeah, kid?"

"Orochimaru was lying, right? People lie."

Jiraiya huffed and shook his head sadly. "You're right, kid, people lie. But when monsters want to hurt you, and believe me, Orochimaru is a monster, they tell the truth."

Naruto slumped slightly, as if some tiny hope was drained from him. "The truth sucks," he said after a moment.

"Yeah, sometimes it does. Is it a wonder we lie so much?" Jiraiya sat down on the bed beside him, unbidden, and patted him on the leg. "What did it?" he asked.

"Hinata realized that Itachi probably killed off his clan because he was sacrificing to the Kyubi, or something, and told Sasuke. He got pissed, and I got mad at Hinata, and I haven't seen either of them since."

Jiraiya winced. It actually would explain a lot.

"Yeah, it's hard to argue against. I mean, I'm pretty sure I didn't call for it, but what do I know? I just found out that I've been summoned to some sort of secret fucking ritual run by people who are arguably my enemies but who happen to worship me, and all I can remember of it is some vaguely unsettling dreams and some chants."

Jiraiya nodded. "Yeah, we're gonna have to do something so you can remember that. Getting some descriptions of what happened might help." He looked around. "So, do you need some advice on how to handle your teammates?"

Naruto shrugged. "I know what I should do, I think, but-"

They both looked up as a small, lightning quick little monkey zoomed into the room, bouncing off the doorjamb and two walls before it came to rest on the floor before Jiraiya.

They blinked.

"Message for you, Sir," the monkey chirped in a sort of professional tone, offering up a scroll.

Jiraiya quickly took it and read it. His eyebrows climbed rapidly until he finished the note, then it crumbled away to nothing in his hand when he added chakra to the embedded seal. "It's really inconvenient, but tell the old man okay. Consider it handled."

"Yes, Sir!" the little brown monkey replied and disappeared with a puff.

Jiraiya looked at Naruto, who was actually looking more alert and interested. "Sorry, kid, no time for forgiveness and reconciliations. You've got five minutes to handle your teammates and we're out of here. Looks like Sand had some assets in place after all."

"Yes, Jiraiya-sama!" Naruto replied promptly, bounced off the bed, made a clone, and was gone.

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Naruto had a problem.

He'd managed to thoroughly upset Hinata, and Sasuke felt betrayed even though he had never done such a thing, at least not consciously.

But they had a strong friendship and a sense of teamwork unrivaled by their peers. A relationship built on trust and lies.

Not truth. Truth was the weapon used against them. Lies.

Naruto grinned briefly, then his face fell into an expression of barely suppressed rage, heavy demonic chakra surging in his body.

_Orochimaru had messed with his people._

Oh, that son of a bitch would pay. One day, he would pay.

But for now, Naruto needed his team. He had less than five minutes to find them, and without Hinata by his side…

Hinata was always by his side. Because she they had a bond that flowed both ways.

The blindfolded Hyuga heiress landed silently beside him an instant later, her face neutral, her body fluid and ready for anything.

And Sasuke. He couldn't betray Sasuke. Sasuke was his right hand, something no one else could be. He could no more betray his hand than his hand could turn on him. Come here, Sasuke, we've got work to do.

"Fine, fine, stop yelling, Naruto," Sasuke complained, running up to them from the beach. "I'm here." His expression was still dark and broody, but he, too seemed to have temporarily forgotten his concerns.

Naruto grinned, showing teeth grown sharp and eyes flickering red.

"I am very angry right now," Naruto said without preamble. "We've been officially mindfucked. Orochimaru hit us where we were strongest and we didn't even see it coming. But that's an outsider Sannin for you, I guess. Last night was one of the worst of my life. Next time… next time we run into something worse than we are, we kill it."

Hinata and Sasuke both looked at him with somewhat blank looks, having a little trouble organizing their thoughts enough to follow him.

"We were messed with? Like a genjutsu?" Hinata asked.

Naruto nodded. "Something like that. Jiraiya said it's a thing that outsiders can do. I guess Orochimaru learned how when he ascended." He turned to Sasuke. "We know we've got some issues regarding your family, living and dead. But we all know we're gonna get through them eventually, because it didn't even have to be an issue until it was used to attack us by that snake. Now let's just go right back to working together so we can fix everything easier."

Sasuke stared at him for a moment. "And by 'fix', you mean-"

"Killing people we don't like," Naruto said with a nod. "I didn't ask for any damned cult, but if they're gonna worship me, they've got to play by my rules, and one of my rules is don't fuck with my friends."

Sasuke nodded thoughtfully.

"Naruto, I'm sor-" Hinata began, but was immediately cut off.

"No!" Naruto snapped. "No apologizing. Apologizing implies you were at fault. None of us did anything wrong, we just got nailed by something older and meaner. You can't win every battle. We heal our wounds and return them nine fold next time." He clenched his fist and made a sharp gesture across his chest. "Now, we've got about a minute left before we have to leave on an emergency mission Jiraiya just got from a monkey. If we're lucky, we get to kill people, and worst case, Jiraiya kills people. Let's move."

They moved.

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Transportation came in the form of an enormous toad for Jiraiya and the genin, the same one that had carried them to the little resort village in the first place. Anko was eaten by a dark green one that was only twice the size of a cow, which was sent off to Konoha.

Then they got to experience the unusual sensations of riding in a toad's belly as it made two mile hops along the coast, covering ground at a ridiculous rate.

"This is so cool," Naruto said, looking around at the faintly glowing fleshy cave that the toad had provided them. It was moist but not too unpleasant, smelled faintly of brimstone, and was big enough that even Sasuke, who didn't particularly like being eaten since that time with the shoggoth, was able to avoid completely freaking out. "Will I get summons?" he wondered.

"Yeah," Jiraiya answered from his seated position lotus style on the fleshy pink floor. His eyes were closed and he appeared to be concentrating, perhaps seeing through the toad's eyes or something.

"Really? Some sort of servitor or something?" Naruto asked, excited.

"People," Jiraiya replied.

"Oh," Naruto said, remembering. "Well, what about foxes and other stuff? The old priest we killed had bears and a shoggoth, and that was only for the seven tails."

Jiraiya shrugged. "Don't know. Find a fox and ask."

"Huh."

"At least you get people," Hinata noted.

"Yeah, but all I have right now is you two, Sakura, and Neji, and you two are always with me anyway," Naruto sort of complained, though he was thinking about how he'd summoned them earlier, just by wishing they'd come to him. He wondered if he could summon them faster? Like a true summon?

"Don't complain, kid. I started out summoning tadpoles. You ever seen a tadpole fight a ninja? No? There's a reason for that." Privately, Jiraiya's ears pricked up at the mention of Neji. He'd been told Sakura was the only other contract.

Sasuke snerked. "Heh, Sakura is the tadpole of humans. Keep practicing and I'm sure you can do better."

Naruto laughed. "Damn, Sasuke, if you keep being mean to her she's gonna start stalking someone else."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Yes, because she's head over heels with my affectionate and considerate personality."

"Actually, could I summon Sakura?" Naruto mused. "I mean, I've given you chakra before, but I've never actually done the jutsu myself. I mean, why would I summon myself?"

"Something to check out later," Sasuke noted. "Or you could do it now and tell her we've been eaten by a toad and wanted to share the experience."

Naruto snickered.

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The sandy strip of beach they had largely been following for miles on end had widened, with the forest turning to brush and grass and finally to the salt grass and sandy loam hills of the southern Wind coast.

Once, there was a small fishing village there, no more than twenty to thirty people whose main import were casks of fresh water and whose main export were barrels of salted fish. Now the tiny village was awash with sand and the huts were nothing but splinters. The remains of four ships lay half buried along the beach.

Hundreds of samurai, those fast and skilled enough to evade the sudden wrath of the desert, braced themselves in ordered ranks, pitting their own knowledge of jutsu against waves of sand. Unfortunately for the samurai, sand wasn't something you could just cut with a sword and kill.

It flowed, it engulfed, it ground down, and each time it crested over them, there were dozens of patches of bloody, sticky sand that ebbed around their feet and flowed back into the control of the desert's one true master.

Gaara stood impassively, his arms crossed in the harsh sunlight as the land around him bent itself to the destruction of the invaders. His head turned slowly to the east, tracking something that at first only he could see, but soon everyone who looked could see the immense toad bounding in deceptively graceful leaps along the shore.

_A rival comes._

Inside the toad, Naruto's eyes turned red and demonic chakra flickered in their depths. Knowledge not truly his own sprang to the forefront of his mind.

_The desert is my enemy._

"Damn, it really is him," Jiraiya said with a sigh. "Listen, kids, you're up against a real heavy hitter this time. Sand sent its own jinchuriki to take care of this army, and it looks like he's up to the task. They've got the Ichibi, but don't get dismissive. I've seen some texts that say that all the tailed beasts are equal in power, but the number of tails says who wakes up first and who goes to sleep first. Of course, almost everyone else says that's bullshit, and you should win easily, but it's definitely true that the one tail has been running around longer than you, and has access to more of his power."

"His power is the desert," Naruto whispered, his gaze far away on something only he could see. "We are at the seat of his power. We should leave his land. He will not let the samurai live."

"Are you sure? Because it'll only take one survivor to hurt Konoha." Jiraiya shook his head. "No, we have to be sure. I'll fight if you can't or won't, I won't blame you. Another jinchuriki…"

Naruto's attention snapped back to the present and red chakra exploded into being around him.

"Too late. He comes," Naruto said simply.

A massive fist of sand attached to an arm twenty stories long shot out of the desert and crashed into the side of the toad, knocking it into the ocean with a titanic burble of pain. As the toad righted itself, the sand arm pulled back, thickening as sand flowed up it, and opened to reveal claws as sharp as glass.

Moments later the arm came crashing down, only to miss as the toad disappeared with a crash and slap of water and chakra.

Something red and angry bounced off the water and ran along the arm, tracking the animating chakra back to its source with the senses of a young god.

Gaara's first sight of the nine tails jinchuriki came almost in the form of a stop motion reel. His enemy was bizarrely misshapen, like a fox the size of a pony but with arms and legs ten feet long, all made of chakra, with a small blond boy suspended in the middle of the translucent red energy. There! –it paused along the top of the sand arm, snarling at him. Over there! –it bounced between spikes of sand that shot to the sky, seeking to impale the interloper. Suddenly here! –it seemed to float in mid air, right arm slamming forward in slow motion as the dull brownish gourd sand, the body of Shukaku that was always fastest to protect him, desperately tried to close the gap and form a full sphere. The edges of the hole flowed together, sand crawling over sand to plug the gap even as red chakra claws reached for his life-

-and then the sphere was complete and the kyubi container's attack slammed into the thickening wall, bulging it inward and spraying loose sand into Gaara's face.

Gaara blinked.

Once.

The sphere suddenly grew spikes and spears that reached for the red monster, but Naruto wasn't there anymore, just gone like he'd never been. Gaara opened the shell a crack and looked around, relying on merely human eyes to tell him where his enemy lurked.

And Naruto fell out of the sky, twenty feet of chakra arm cocked back, clawed hand turned into a chisel to crack the body of his enemy. He hit with a screech of pure destruction grinding against the hardest defense, the ancient, blood soaked sand of the first of the gods flowing to wall him away even as he hammered through it, right through the top of the sphere and into the ground, missing Gaara by scant inches.

But even as it had defended the sand attacked, faster now, driven by the force of its hate and the will behind a sharp hand thrust from Gaara. A dozen deep brown spears of gourd sand ripped into the chakra around Naruto and threw him across the rolling sand hills of their battleground.

Naruto rolled to his feet and growled back across two hundred feet of enemy territory.

'Don't kill him!'

Jiraiya's last order flickered through his thoughts.

Then the sand around him began to swirl and flow inwards from a hundred feet in all directions, and it occurred to Naruto that it was unlikely that anyone had given his opponent a similar order.

"Desert-" Gaara intoned, beginning his most powerful killing jutsu and looking on in the first real change of expression he'd had since they'd started. His eyes widened with anticipation of Naruto's death, and the sand formed a dome all around Naruto to prevent his escape.

Naruto cursed as he'd been caught napping. There just wasn't time to stop and think in this fight, not with a fellow jinchuriki with enormous area attacks and a complete unwillingness to pause long enough to talk. The sand tried to wrap around his feet, but the aura of the Kyubi's chakra negated the fine control the suna jinchuriki had over merely normal sand, and it did little but toss and flip at his feet. Still, there was an enormous dome of sand rapidly shrinking around him and he didn't want to pit his aura against tons of rushing force.

Fortunately, Naruto had trained extensively in a technique well suited to a 360 degree defense.

He stood straight, right foot first, left foot back just so, arms outstretched, chakra flaring, and twisted himself into a spin right as he forced all the chakra he could muster out of his body.

"**KAITEN**."

The so called Hyuga ultimate defense wasn't actually limited to the Hyuga. Anyone could spin in a circle and channel chakra out of all their tenketsu, and it could block attacks just as well. The Hyuga used it and perfected it because they had an incredibly strong natural talent for manipulating chakra shape and their byakugan tended to both minimize the effects of dizziness and allow them to keep an eye on an enemy as they twirled. Naruto risked both upsetting his balance and not only losing sight of his enemy but also of even the general direction he lay in, both of which could easily be fatal.

He made up for it, at least somewhat, by having more chakra than the entire Hyuga clan put together, and also because the Kyubi's chakra was basically raw destructive energy. A hurricane of demonic chakra spiraled away from him as he spun, slammed into the incoming wall of sand, and blew it away as a cloud of fine dust. The destructive force was such that the grains of sand were shattered over and over again, ground against each other and severed from the chakra that animated them, then spewn forth as a massive cloud that blotted out the light and choked the lungs of anything caught in it.

Naruto finally stopped spinning on a huge, slightly concave disk of rough glass that marked the successful performance of the technique on a scale at least twice as big as anything any Hyuga had ever accomplished.

Then he fell over and threw up.

Fortunately, the huge dust cloud obscured him from everyone's view but Hinata, and Hinata wouldn't tell, because she was racing to his side and dragging Sasuke along with her, holding their breath and relying on Hinata's vision to guide them.

_Yeah, gonna need the team for this one_, he thought when they emerged from the cloud, eyes, nose, and mouth all sealed shut against the dust.

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"Good morning," Jiraiya said politely as he suddenly appeared beside the trio of Sand ninja who'd been lurking just out of sight. He casually caught the dart flung at him an instant later, holding it only with his chakra to avoid the no doubt nasty poison it was smeared in. "I see you're having some problem with an infestation of Lightning samurai."

"Who the hell-" the young man in the traditional black outfit and face paint of a middle rank suna puppeteer sputtered in surprise and anger, but he was quickly cut off by a much older ninja with a white face drape.

"Jiraiya of Konoha's Sannin," Baki said with a bow. "We apologize for the attack on your summon. When we had word that Konoha was preparing to send aid we did not know that they meant you."

"It is forgotten," Jiraiya said with a wave. "Yeah, I'm still officially retired, it's why I'm not actually getting involved here." He paused. "You know, unless I want to or something."

"One of the Sannin is here?" Temari said, barely controlling her voice so she didn't squeak in alarm. Kankuro had shut up immediately, which was a sign of how seriously he took the situation.

"Just for your protection," Jiraiya allowed. "Konoha didn't have any major forces ready to be deployed on short notice either, so they sent their jinchuriki. He's normally pretty well behaved, but Konoha values its alliance with Sand enough to not want to risk any unfortunate incidences." Jiraiya quirked his lips. "Of course, it looks like Suna had a similar idea."

"Again, our apologizes, Jiraiya-sama. I don't know why the jinchuriki attacked you," Baki repeated.

"Maybe cause you showed up on a big goddamn frog hopping across the beach?" Kankuro mused.

Everyone stared at him.

He held his hands up defensively. "I'm just saying, is all…"

"It's a toad," Jiraiya corrected patiently.

Kankuro's nose squinched up like he'd smelled something funny. "Oh. Well, in that case. Gaara, you idiot, I told you not to attack hundred foot high toads."

Baki did not quite facepalm, but the expression on the half of his face that was clearly visible spoke of barely contained embarrassment on behalf of his subordinate.

"It's okay," Jiraiya said understandingly. "There's at least one in every village."

Baki sighed.

"Anyway, I'm not entirely surprised they clashed like this. Jinchuriki can be pretty territorial, and I had no idea you had one out here or I'd have kept Konoha's away. But I don't think there's anything to worry about. They'll posture and bluff and blow up a bunch of stuff, and probably take care of the samurai in the process, but in the end they'll back down from each other." Jiraiya's tone made it clear that was exactly what he was expecting to happen.

"And if they don't?" Baki asked, genuinely curious.

Jiraiya shrugged. "I'm sure they'll listen to their elders."

And just like that, the kind of neutral, friendly, I'm-just-one-of-you-guys vibe Kankuro had been getting from the white haired man disappeared, and he realized that, perhaps for the first real time, he was in the presence of a monster.

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Authors lie: OH SHI-

No, really. We finally get to see exactly what's been going on with the whole 'make a clone army' subplot and how that sub plot has come to the fore. It's a sign of the times that all the villages are starting to deploy their jinchuriki as weapons, and the spectre of Akatsuki has finally been revealed.

What's that? Naruto has real enemies now? Akatsuki B for sure, Akatsuki A kinda, and territorial other jinchuriki? What's he gonna do?

What is he going to do?

So hopefully this will really revitalize the fading People Lie series.

Oh, and People Lie and Ask Me No Questions diverged at this point. In one, Oro sent Team Lie and co to another world, and in this one, things went different. I'll try to get another Ask Me chapter out as soon as possible but I'm really stoked about this Naruto Gaara fight.

Can you believe I haven't found a single good instance where 2tail!Naruto fights transforming!Gaara?


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